Alis’z Advnćrz in Wunḍland – I: Dǎn ɖ Rabithoul

(Alice’s Adventures in WonderlandChapter I: Down the Rabbit-Hole – by Lewis Carroll, transcribed into Ñspel, a new way of spelling devised by Frank Johnson. With audio accompaniment.)

A

lis wz bginñ t gt vri tîrd v sitñ bî hr sistr on ɖ banc, n v hvñ nʈñ t d: wns or twîs ś hd pīpt intu ɖ bc hr sistr wz rīdñ, bt it hd no picćrz or convseśnz in it, “n ẃt z ɖ ys v a bc,” ʈt Alis “wɖt picćrz or convseśnz?”

So ś wz cnsiḍrñ in hr ǒn mînd (az wel az ś cd, fr ɖ hot de md hr fīl vri slīpi n stypid), ẃɖr ɖ pleźr v mcñ a deizićen wd b wrʈ ɖ trubl v gtñ p n picñ ɖ deiziz, ẃn sudnli a Ẃît Rabit wɖ pnc îz ran clos bî hr.

Ɖr wz nʈñ so vri rmarcbl in ɖt; nr dd Alis ʈnc it so vri mć ǎt v ɖ we t hír ɖ Rabit se t itslf, “Ǒ dir! Ǒ dir! I śl b lêt!” (ẃn ś ʈt it ovr aftwdz, it ocŕd t hr ɖt ś òt t hv wundrd at ɖs, bt at ɖ tîm it ol sīmd qt naćṛl); bt ẃn ɖ Rabit acćli tc a woć ǎt v its weistcot-pocit, n lct at it, n ɖen hurid on, Alis startd t hr fīt, fr it flaśt acrs hr mînd ɖt ś hd nvr bfr sìn a rabit wɖ îɖr a weistcot-pocit, or a woć t tec ǎt v it, n brnñ wɖ krioṣti, ś ran acrs ɖ fīld aftr it, n forćṇtli wz jst in tîm t si it pop dǎn a larj rabithoul undr ɖ hej.

In anɖr momnt dǎn wnt Alis aftr it, nvr wns cnsiḍrñ hǎ in ɖ wrld ś wz t gt ǎt agn.

1

Ɖ rabithoul wnt stret on lîc a tunl fr sm we, n ɖen dipt sudnli dǎn, so sudnli ɖt Alis hd nt a momnt t ʈnc abt stopñ hrslf bfr ś faund hrslf fōlñ dǎn a vri dīp wel.

Îɖr ɖ wel wz vri dīp, or ś fél vri slǒli, fr ś hd plenti v tîm az ś wnt dǎn t lc abt hr n t wundr ẃt wz gwñ t hapn nxt. Frst, ś traid t lc dǎn n mc ǎt ẃt ś wz cmñ t, bt it wz tù darc t si eniʈñ; ɖen ś lct at ɖ sîdz v ɖ wel, n notist ɖt ɖe wr fild wɖ cuḅdz n bc-ślvz; hir n ɖr ś sw maps n picćrz huñ upn pegz. Ś tc dǎn a jar fṛm wn v ɖ ślvz az ś pást; it wz lebld “ORINJ MARṂLED”, bt t hr gret dis’pôntmnt it wz emti: ś dd nt lîc t drop ɖ jar fr fir v cilñ smbdi, so manijd t pt it intu wn v ɖ cuḅdz az ś fél past it.

“Wel!” ʈt Alis t hrslf, “aftr sć a fōl az ɖs, I śl ʈnc nʈñ v tumḅlñ dǎn sterz! Hǎ brev ɖ’l ol ʈnc m at hom! Ẃ, I wd’nt se eniʈñ abt it, īvn f I fél of ɖ top v ɖ hǎs!” (Ẃć wz vri lîcli tru.)

Dǎn, dǎn, dǎn. Wd ɖ fōl nvr cm t an end! “I wundr hǎ mni mîlz I’v fōḷn bî ɖs tîm?”  ś sd alǎd. “I mst b gtñ smẃr nir ɖ sntr v ɖ rʈ. Let m si: ɖt wd b for ʈǎznd mîlz dǎn, I ʈnc—” (fr, y si, Alis hd lrnt sevṛl ʈñz v ɖs sort in hr lésnz in ɖ scūlrum, n ɖo ɖs wz nt a vri gd oṗtyṇti fr śowñ of hr nolij, az ɖr wz nwn t lisn t hr, stl it wz gd practis t se it ovr) “—yes, ɖt’s abt ɖ rît distns—bt ɖen I wundr ẃt Lattyd or Lonġtyd I’v got t?” (Alis hd no îdīa ẃt Lattyd wz, or Lonġtyd îɖr, bt ʈt ɖe wr nîs grand wrdz t se.)

Prezntli ś bgan agn. “I wundr f I śl fōl rît ʈru ɖ rʈ! Hǎ funi it’l sīm t cm ǎt amñ ɖ ppl ɖt wōc wɖ ɖer hedz dǎnẉd! Ɖ Antiṗʈiz, I ʈnc—” (ś wz rɖr glad ɖr wz nwn liṣnñ, ɖs tîm, az it dd’nt sǎnd at ol ɖ rît wrd) “—bt I śl hv t asc ɖm ẃt ɖ nem v ɖ cuntri z, y nǒ. Plīz, Mām, z ɖs Ny Zīḷnd or Ostrelia?” (n ś traid t crtsi az ś spouc—fansi crtsiyñ az y’r fōlñ ʈru ɖ er! D y ʈnc y cd manij it?) “N ẃt an ignṛnt litl grl ś’l ʈnc m fr ascñ! No, it’l nvr d t asc: phps I śl si it ritn p smẃr.”

Dǎn, dǎn, dǎn. Ɖr wz nʈñ els t d, so Alis sn bgan tōcñ agn. “Dîna’l mis m vri mć tnît, I śd ʈnc!” (Dîna wz ɖ cat.) “I hop ɖ’l rmembr hr sōspn v milc at tītîm. Dîna mî dir! I wś y wr dǎn hir wɖ m! Ɖr r no mîs in ɖ er, I’m afreid, bt y mt cać a bat, n ɖt’s vri lîc a mǎs, y nǒ. Bt d cats īt bats, I wundr?” N hir Alis bgan t gt rɖr slīpi, n wnt on seyñ t hrslf, in a drīmi sort v we, “D cats īt bats? D cats īt bats?” n smtmz, “D bats īt cats?” fr, y si, az ś cd’nt ansr îɖr qsćn, it dd’nt mć matr ẃć we ś pt it. Ś flt ɖt ś wz dozñ of, n hd jst bgun t drīm ɖt ś wz wōcñ hand in hand wɖ Dîna, n seyñ t hr vri ŕṇstli, “Nǎ, Dîna, tel m ɖ truʈ: dd y evr īt a bat?” ẃn sudnli, ʈump! ʈump! dǎn ś cem upn a hīp v stics n drî līvz, n ɖ fōl wz ovr.

Alis wz nt a bit hrt, n ś jumt p on t hr fīt in a momnt: ś lct p, bt it wz ol darc oṿhed; bfr hr wz anɖr loñ pasij, n ɖ Ẃît Rabit wz stl in sît, huriyñ dǎn it. Ɖr wz nt a momnt t b lost: awe wnt Alis lîc ɖ wind, n wz jst in tîm t hír it se, az it trnd a cornr, “Ǒ mî irz n ẃiscrz, hǎ lêt it’s gtñ!” Ś wz clos bhnd it ẃn ś trnd ɖ cornr, bt ɖ Rabit wz no longr t b sìn: ś faund hrslf in a loñ, lo hōl, ẃć wz lit p bî a ro v lamps haññ fṛm ɖ rūf.

Ɖr wr dorz ol rnd ɖ hōl, bt ɖe wr ol loct; n ẃn Alis hd bn ol ɖ we dǎn wn sîd n p ɖ uɖr, trayñ evri dor, ś wōct sadli dǎn ɖ midl, wunḍrñ hǎ ś wz evr t gt ǎt agn.

Sudnli ś cem upn a litl ʈri-legid tebl, ol md v solid glas; ɖr wz nʈñ on it xpt a tîni goldn ci, n Alis’z frst ʈt wz ɖt it mt b’loñ t wn v ɖ dorz v ɖ hōl; bt, alas! îɖr ɖ locs wr tù larj, or ɖ ci wz tù smōl, bt at eni ret it wd nt opn eni v ɖm. Hvr, on ɖ secnd tîm rnd, ś cem upn a lo crtn ś hd nt notist bfr, n bhnd it wz a litl dor abt fiftīn inćz hî: ś traid ɖ litl goldn ci in ɖ loc, n t hr gret dlît it fitd!

2

Alis opnd ɖ dor n faund ɖt it léd intu a smōl pasij, nt mć larjr ɖn a rathoul: ś nelt dǎn n lct alñ ɖ pasij intu ɖ luvliist gardn y evr sw. Hǎ ś loñd t gt ǎt v ɖt darc hōl, n wondr abt amñ ɖoz bedz v brît flǎrz n ɖoz cūl fǎntnz, bt ś cd nt īvn gt hr hed ʈru ɖ dorwe; “n īvn f mî hed wd g ʈru,” ʈt pur Alis, “it wd b v vri litl ys wɖt mî śoldrz. Ǒ, hǎ I wś I cd śut p lîc a teḷscop! I ʈnc I cd, f I onli ń hǎ t bgin.” Fr, y si, so mni ǎt-v-ɖ-we ʈñz hd hapnd letli, ɖt Alis hd bgun t ʈnc ɖt vri fy ʈñz indd wr riyli imposbl.

Ɖr sīmd t b no ys in wêtñ bî ɖ litl dor, so ś wnt bac t ɖ tebl, haf hopñ ś mt fînd anɖr ci on it, or at eni ret a bc v rūlz fr śutñ ppl p lîc teḷscops: ɖs tîm ś faund a litl botl on it, (“ẃć srtnli wz nt hir bfr,” sd Alis,) n rnd ɖ nec v ɖ botl wz a pepr lebl, wɖ ɖ wrdz “DRINC MI” bytifli printd on it in larj letrz.

3

It wz ol vri wel t se “Drinc m,” bt ɖ wîz litl Alis wz nt gwñ t d ɖt in a huri. “No, I’l lc frst,” ś sd, “n si ẃɖr it’s marct “pôzn” or nt”; fr ś hd réd sevṛl nîs litl hisṭriz abt ćildṛn hu hd got brnt, n ītn p bî wîld bīsts n uɖr unpleznt ʈñz, ol bcz ɖe wd nt rmembr ɖ simpl rūlz ɖer frendz hd tòt ɖm: sć az, ɖt a red-hot pǒcr wl brn y f y hold it tù loñ; n ɖt f y cut yr fngr vri dīpli wɖ a nîf, it yẓ́li blīdz; n ś hd nvr fgotn ɖt, f y drinc mć fṛm a botl marct “pôzn,” it z olmst srtn t dis’gri wɖ y, snr or lêtr.

Hvr, ɖs botl wz nt marct “pôzn,” so Alis vnćrd t test it, n fîndñ it vri nîs, (it hd, in fact, a sort v mixt flevr v ćeri tart, custd, pînapl, roust trci, tofi, n hot butrd tost,) ś vri sn finiśt it of.


“Ẃt a krịs fīlñ!” sd Alis; “I mst b śutñ p lîc a teḷscop.”

N so it wz indd: ś wz nǎ onli ten inćz hî, n hr fes brîtnd p at ɖ ʈt ɖt ś wz nǎ ɖ rît sîz fr gwñ ʈru ɖ litl dor intu ɖt luvli gardn. Frst, hvr, ś wêtd fr a fy minits t si f ś wz gwñ t śrinc eni frɖr: ś flt a litl nrṿs abt ɖs; “fr it mt end, y nǒ,” sd Alis t hrslf, “in mî gwñ ǎt oltgɖr, lîc a candl. I wundr ẃt I śd b lîc ɖen?” N ś traid t fansi ẃt ɖ flem v a candl z lîc aftr ɖ candl z bloun ǎt, fr ś cd nt rmembr evr hvñ sìn sć a ʈñ.

Aftr a ẃl, fîndñ ɖt nʈñ mor hapnd, ś dsîdd on gwñ intu ɖ gardn at wns; bt, alas fr pur Alis! ẃn ś got t ɖ dor, ś faund ś hd fgotn ɖ litl goldn ci, n ẃn ś wnt bac t ɖ tebl fr it, ś faund ś cd nt poṣbli rīć it: ś cd si it qt plenli ʈru ɖ glas, n ś traid hr bst t clîm p wn v ɖ legz v ɖ tebl, bt it wz tù sliṗri; n ẃn ś hd tîrd hrslf ǎt wɖ trayñ, ɖ pur litl ʈñ sat dǎn n craid.

“Cm, ɖr’z no ys in crayñ lîc ɖt!” sd Alis t hrslf, rɖr śarpli; “I advîz y t līv of ɖs minit!” Ś jenṛli gev hrslf vri gd advîs, (ɖo ś vri sldm foloud it), n smtmz ś scoldd hrslf so svirli az t brñ tirz intu hr îz; n wns ś rmembrd trayñ t box hr ǒn irz fr hvñ ćītd hrslf in a gem v croce ś wz pleyñ agnst hrslf, fr ɖs krịs ćîld wz vri fond v pritndñ t b tū ppl. “Bt it’s no ys nǎ,” ʈt pur Alis, “t pritnd t b tū ppl! Ẃ, ɖr’z hardli inuf v m left t mc wn rspctbl prsn!”

Sn hr î fél on a litl glas box ɖt wz layñ undr ɖ tebl: ś opnd it, n faund in it a vri smōl cec, on ẃć ɖ wrdz “ĪT MI” wr bytifli marct in cúṛnts. “Wel, I’l īt it,” sd Alis, “n f it mcs m gro larjr, I cn rīć ɖ ci; n f it mcs m gro smōlr, I cn crīp undr ɖ dor; so îɖr we I’l gt intu ɖ gardn, n I d’nt cer ẃć hapnz!”

Ś ét a litl bit, n sd añśsli t hrslf, “Ẃć we? Ẃć we?”, holdñ hr hand on ɖ top v hr hed t fīl ẃć we it wz growñ, n ś wz qt s’prîzd t fînd ɖt ś rmend ɖ sem sîz: t b śr, ɖs jenṛli hapnz ẃn wn īts cec, bt Alis hd got so mć intu ɖ we v xpctñ nʈñ bt ǎt-v-ɖ-we ʈñz t hapn, ɖt it sīmd qt dul n stypid fr lîf t g on in ɖ comn we.

So ś set t wrc, n vri sn finiśt of ɖ cec.


[Next chapter]

ÑSPEL

 

01/02/2024

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