Category Archives: Saki

Clasics in Ñspel: TOBERMORY by Saki

TOḄMORI

Saci

It wz a ćil, ren-wośt afṭnun v a lêt Ōġst de, ɖt indefiṇt sīzn ẃn partṛjz r stl in s’kṛti or cold storij, n ɖr z nʈñ t hunt – unls wn z bǎndd on ɖ norʈ bî ɖ Bristl Ćanl, in ẃć ces wn me lwf̣li gaḷp aftr fat red stagz. Ledi Blemli’z hǎsparti wz nt bǎndd on ɖ norʈ bî ɖ Bristl Ćanl, hns ɖr wz a fl gaɖ̇rñ v hr gests rnd ɖ tītebl on ɖs ptiklr afṭnun. N, in spît v ɖ blancnis v ɖ sīzn n ɖ trîtnis v ɖ oceźn, ɖr wz no tres in ɖ cumṗni v ɖt ftīgd restlisnis ẃć mīnz a dred v ɖ pịnola n a sbdyd hanc̣rñ fr ōx́nbrij. Ɖ undisgîzd opn-mǎɖd atnśn v ɖ intîr parti wz fixt on ɖ homli neġtiv prṣnaḷti v Mr Cornīłs Apin. V ol hr gests, h wz ɖ wn hu hd cm t Ledi Blemli wɖ ɖ vegist repyteśn. Smwn hd sd h wz “clevr,” n h hd got hiz invteśn in ɖ modṛt xpcteśn, on ɖ part v hiz hostes, ɖt sm porśn at līst v hiz clevrnis wd b cntribytd t ɖ jenṛl enttenmnt. Untl tītîm ɖt de ś hd bn unebl t dscuvr in ẃt d’rex́n, f eni, hiz clevrnis le. H wz nɖr a wit nr a crocećampịn, a hipnotic fors nr a bgetr v aṃćr ʈiatriclz. Nɖr dd hiz xtirịr sjst ɖ sort v man in hūm wimin r wilñ t pardn a jenṛs meźr v mntl dfiśnsi. H hd sbsîdd intu mir Mr Apin, n ɖ Cornīłs sīmd a pìs v trnspaṛnt baptizml bluf. N nǎ h wz clemñ t hv lōnćt on ɖ wrld a dscuṿri bsd ẃć ɖ invnśn v gunpǎdr, v ɖ printñpres, n v stīmloc̣mośn wr incnsidṛbl trîflz. Sayns hd md bwildrñ strîdz in mni d’rex́nz jrñ rīsnt decedz, bt ɖs ʈñ sīmd t b’loñ t ɖ dmen v miṛcl rɖr ɖn t sạntific aćivmnt.

“N d y riyli asc s t b’liv,” Sr Wilfrid wz seyñ, “ɖt y hv dscuvrd a mīnz fr instructñ animlz in ɖ art v hymn spīć, n ɖt dir old Toḅmori hz pruvd yr frst s’xesfl pypl?”

“It z a probḷm at ẃć I hv wrct fr ɖ last sevntīn yirz,” sd Mr Apin, “bt onli jrñ ɖ last et or nîn munʈs hv I bn rwordd wɖ gliṃrñz v s’xes. V cors I hv xpeṛmntd wɖ ʈǎzndz v animlz, bt latrli onli wɖ cats, ɖoz wundrfl crīćrz ẃć hv asiṃletd ɖmslvz so marvḷsli wɖ ǎr siṿlîześn ẃl rtenñ ol ɖer hîli dveḷpt feṛl instñts. Hir n ɖr amñ cats wn cmz acrs an ǎtstandñ s’pirịr inṭlect, jst az wn dz amñ ɖ ruc v hymn biyñz, n ẃn I md ɖ aqentns v Toḅmori a wīc ago I sw at wns ɖt I wz in contact wɖ a ‘Bynd-cat’ v xtrordnri intelijns. I hd gn far alñ ɖ rod t s’xes in rīsnt xpeṛments; wɖ Toḅmori, az y cōl him, I hv rīćt ɖ gol.”

Mr Apin cncludd hiz rmarcbl stetmnt in a vôs ẃć h strov t dvst v a trîumfnt inflex́n. Nwn sd “Rats,” ɖo Clovis’z lips muvd in a moṇsilabic cntorśn ẃć probbli invoct ɖoz rodnts v disḅlif.

“N d y mīn t se,” asct Mis Rescr, aftr a slît pōz, “ɖt y hv tòt Toḅmori t se n unḍstand īzi sntnsz v wn siḷbl?”

“Mî dir Mis Rescr,” sd ɖ wundrwrcr peśntli, “wn tīćz litl ćildṛn n saṿjz n bcwd adults in ɖt pìsmīl faśn; ẃn wn hz wns solvd ɖ probḷm v mcñ a bginñ wɖ an animl v hîli dveḷpt intelijns wn hz no nīd fr ɖoz hōltñ meʈ̇dz. Toḅmori cn spīc ǎr lanḡj wɖ prfict c’rectnis.”

Ɖs tîm Clovis vri dstñtli sd, “Bynd-rats!” Sr Wilfrid wz mor p’lît, bt īqli scepticl.

“Hd’nt w betr hv ɖ cat in n juj fr ǎrslvz?” sjstd Ledi Blemli.

Sr Wilfrid wnt in srć v ɖ animl, n ɖ cumṗni setld ɖmslvz dǎn t ɖ lanḡd xpcteśn v witṇsñ sm mor or les adrôt drw̃rūm ventriḷqizm.

In a minit Sr Wilfrid wz bac in ɖ rūm, hiz fes ẃît bnʈ its tan n hiz îz dletd wɖ xîtmnt.

“Bî Gad, it’s tru!”

Hiz ajteśn wz unmistecbli jenyin, n hiz hírrz startd fwd in a ʈril v awecnd inṭrest.

C’lapsñ intu an armćer h cntinyd breʈlisli: “I faund him dozñ in ɖ smocñrūm, n cōld ǎt t him t cm fr hiz ti. H blinct at m in hiz yźl we, n I sd, ‘Cm on, Tobi; d’nt cīp s wêtñ;’ n, bî Gad! h drōld ǎt in a most hoṛbli naćṛl vôs ɖt h’d cm ẃn h daśt wel plizd! I nirli jumt ǎt v mî scin!”

Apin hd prīćt t abṣlutli increɉḷs hírrz; Sr Wilfrid’z stetmnt carid instnt cnvix́n. A Bebļîc cōṛs v startld xcḷmeśn arouz, amd ẃć ɖ sayntist sat ḿtli injoyñ ɖ frst frūt v hiz stypnds dscuṿri.

In ɖ mdst v ɖ clamr Toḅmori entrd ɖ rūm n md hiz we wɖ velvit tréd n studid uncnsrn acrs t ɖ grūp sītd rnd ɖ tītebl.

A sudn huś v ōcẉdnis n cnstrent fél on ɖ cumṗni. Smhǎ ɖr sīmd an elimnt v imbaṛsmnt in adresñ on īql trmz a dmestic cat v acnolijd dntl abiḷti.

“Wl y hv sm milc, Toḅmori?” asct Ledi Blemli in a rɖr strend vôs.

“I d’nt mînd f I d,” wz ɖ rspons, cǎćt in a ton v īvn indifṛns. A śivr v s’prest xîtmnt wnt ʈru ɖ lisnrz, n Ledi Blemli mt b xkzd fr porñ ǎt ɖ sōsrfl v milc rɖr unsteḍli.

“I’m afred I’v spilt a gd dīl v it,” ś sd apoḷjeticli.

“Aftr ol, it’s nt mî Axminstr,” wz Toḅmori’z rjôndr.

Anɖr sîḷns fél on ɖ grūp, n ɖen Mis Rescr, in hr bst districtvizitr manr, asct f ɖ hymn lanḡj hd bn dificlt t lrn. Toḅmori lct sqerli at hr fr a momnt n ɖen fixt hiz gêz s’rīnli on ɖ midl distns. It wz obvịs ɖt borñ qsćnz le ǎtsd hiz scīm v lîf.

“Ẃt d y ʈnc v hymn intelijns?” asct Mevis Pelñtn lemli.

“V huz intelijns in ptiklr?” asct Toḅmori coldli.

“Ǒ, wel, mîn fr instns,” sd Mevis, wɖ a fībl laf.

“Y pt m in an imbaṛsñ pziśn,” sd Toḅmori, huz ton n attyd srtnli dd nt sjst a śred v imbaṛsmnt. “Ẃn yr incluźn in ɖs hǎsparti wz sjstd Sr Wilfrid pṛtstd ɖt y wr ɖ most brenlis wmn v hiz aqentns, n ɖt ɖr wz a wîd dstñśn btwn hosṗtaḷti n ɖ cer v ɖ fībl-mîndd. Ledi Blemli rplaid ɖt yr lac v brenpǎr wz ɖ prisîs qoḷti ẃć hd ŕnd y yr invteśn, az y wr ɖ onli prsn ś cd ʈnc v hu mt b idiotic inuf t bai ɖer old car. Y nǒ, ɖ wn ɖe cōl ‘Ɖ Envi v Sisif̣s,’ bcz it gz qt nîsli up-hil f y pś it.”

Ledi Blemli’z proṭsteśnz wd hv hd gretr ifct f ś hd nt caẓ́li sjstd t Mevis onli ɖt mornñ ɖt ɖ car in qsćn wd b jst ɖ ʈñ fr hr dǎn at hr Devnśr hom.

Mejr Barfīld plunjd in heṿli t ifct a dvrśn.

“Hǎ abt yr cariyñz-on wɖ ɖ torṭsśel ps p at ɖ steblz, ê?”

Ɖ momnt h hd sd it evriwn riylîzd ɖ blundr.

“Wn dz nt yẓ́li dscus ɖz matrz in public,” sd Toḅmori frijidli. “Fṛm a slît obẓveśn v yr wez sins y’v bn in ɖs hǎs I śd imajin y’d fînd it incnvińnt f I wr t śift ɖ convseśn on t yr ǒn litl aferz.”

Ɖ panic ẃć insyd wz nt cnfînd t ɖ Mejr.

“Wd y lîc t g n si f cc hz got yr dinr redi?” sjstd Ledi Blemli huridli, afctñ t ignor ɖ fact ɖt it wontd at līst tū aurz t Toḅmori’z dinrtîm.

“Ʈancs,” sd Toḅmori, “nt qt so sn aftr mî ti. I d’nt wont t dî v indijsćn.”

“Cats hv nîn lîvz, y nǒ,” sd Sr Wilfrid harṭli.

“Poṣbli,” ansrd Toḅmori; “bt onli wn livr.”

“Aḍled!” sd Msz Cornét, “d y mīn t incurij ɖt cat t g ǎt n gosip abt s in ɖ srvnts’ hōl?”

Ɖ panic hd indd bcm jenṛl. A naro orṇmntl baḷstred ran in frunt v most v ɖ bedrūm windoz at ɖ Tǎrz, n it wz rcōld wɖ dsme ɖt ɖs hd formd a feṿrit proṃned fr Toḅmori at ol aurz, ẃns h cd woć ɖ pijinz – n hevn ń ẃt els bsdz. F h intndd t bcm reṃnisnt in hiz preznt ǎtspocn stren ɖ ifct wd b smʈñ mor ɖn discnsrtñ. Msz Cornét, hu spent mć tîm at hr tôḷțebl, n huz cmplex́n wz rpytd t b v a nmadic ɖo puñćl disṗziśn, lct az il at īz az ɖ Mejr. Mis Scrōn, hu rout firsli snśụs powtri n léd a blemlis lîf, mirli dspleid iṛteśn; f y r mʈodicl n vrćs in prîṿt y d’nt nesseṛli wont evriwn t nǒ it. Brti van Tān, hu wz so dprevd at sevntīn ɖt h hd loñ ago gvn p trayñ t b eni wrs, trnd a dul śêd v gardīńa ẃît, bt h dd nt cmit ɖ err v daśñ ǎt v ɖ rūm lîc Odo Finzḅri, a yuñ jntlmn hu wz unḍstd t b rīdñ fr ɖ Ćrć n hu wz poṣbli dstrbd at ɖ ʈt v scandlz h mt hír cnsrnñ uɖr ppl. Clovis hd ɖ prezns v mînd t mnten a cmpozd xtirịr; prîṿtli h wz calkletñ hǎ loñ it wd tec t pṛkr a box v fansi mîs ʈru ɖ ejnsi v ɖ XĆENJ & MART az a spīśīz v huśmuni.

Īvn in a delic̣t sićueśn lîc ɖ preznt, Agnis Rescr cd nt indyr t rmen tù loñ in ɖ bacgrǎnd.

“Ẃ dd I evr cm dǎn hir?” ś asct dṛmaticli.

Toḅmori imīɉtli axptd ɖ oṗnñ.

“Jujñ bî ẃt y sd t Msz Cornét on ɖ crocelōn yesṭde, y wr ǎt fr fūd. Y dscrîbd ɖ Blemliz az ɖ dulist ppl t ste wɖ ɖt y ń, bt sd ɖe wr clevr inuf t implô a frst-ret cc; uɖ̇wz ɖ’d fînd it dificlt t gt eniwn t cm dǎn a secnd tîm.”

“Ɖr’z nt a wrd v truʈ in it! I apil t Msz Cornét –” xclemd ɖ dscumf̣td Agnis.

“Msz Cornét rpitd yr rmarc aftwdz t Brti van Tān,” cntinyd Toḅmori, “n sd, ‘Ɖt wmn z a reğlr Hungr Marćr; ś’d g eniẃr fr for sqer mīlz a de,’ n Brti van Tān sd –”

At ɖs pônt ɖ cronicl mrsifli sīst. Toḅmori hd còt a glims v ɖ big yelo Tom fṛm ɖ Recṭri wrcñ hiz we ʈru ɖ śruḅri twdz ɖ steblwñ. In a flaś h hd vaniśt ʈru ɖ opn Frenć windo.

Wɖ ɖ dis’piṛns v hiz tù briłnt pypl Cornīłs Apin faund himslf bset bî a huṛcen v bitr upbrêdñ, añśs inqîri, n frîtnd intriti. Ɖ rsponsbiḷti fr ɖ sićueśn le wɖ him, n h mst privnt matrz fṛm bcmñ wrs. Cd Toḅmori impart hiz denjṛs gift t uɖr cats? wz ɖ frst qsćn h hd t ansr. It wz poṣbl, h rplaid, ɖt h mt hv iniśietd hiz intiṃt frend ɖ stebl-ps intu hiz ny acumpliśmnt, bt it wz unlîcli ɖt hiz tīćñ cd hv tecn a wîdr renj az yt.

“Ɖen,” sd Msz Cornét, “Toḅmori me b a vałbl cat n a gret pet; bt I’m śr y’l agri, Aḍled, ɖt bʈ h n ɖ steblcat mst b dn awe wɖ wɖt dle.”

“Y d’nt s’poz I’v injoid ɖ last qortr v an aur, d y?” sd Ledi Blemli bitrli. “Mî huzbnd n I r vri fond v Toḅmori – at līst, w wr bfr ɖs hoṛbl acumpliśmnt wz infyzd intu him; bt nǎ, v cors, ɖ onli ʈñ z t hv him dstroid az sn az poṣbl.”

“W cn pt sm stricnīn in ɖ scraps h olwz gts at dinrtîm,” sd Sr Wilfrid, “n I wl g n drǎn ɖ steblcat mslf. Ɖ coćmn wl b vri sor at luzñ hiz pet, bt I’l se a vri caćñ form v menj hz brocn ǎt in bʈ cats n w’r afred v it spredñ t ɖ cenlz.”

“Bt mî gret dscuṿri!” xposć̣letd Mr Apin; “aftr ol mî yirz v rsrć n xperimnt –”

“Y cn g n xperimnt on ɖ śorthornz at ɖ farm, hu r undr propr cntrol,” sd Msz Cornét, “or ɖ elifnts at ɖ Zụlojicl Gardnz. Ɖ’r sd t b hîli intelijnt, n ɖe hv ɖs rec̣mndeśn, ɖt ɖe d’nt cm crīpñ abt ǎr bedrūmz n undr ćerz, n so fʈ.”

An arcenjl xtaticli pṛclemñ ɖ Mileńm, n ɖen fîndñ ɖt it claśt unpardṇbli wɖ Henli n wd hv t b indefiṇtli pspond, cd hardli hv flt mor crestfōḷn ɖn Cornīłs Apin at ɖ rspśn v hiz wundrfl aćivmnt. Public opińn, hvr, wz agnst him – in fact, hd ɖ jenṛl vôs bn cnsultd on ɖ subjict it z probbl ɖt a stroñ mnoṛtivot wd hv bn in fevr v includñ him in ɖ stricnīndayt.

Dfctiv tren’renjmnts n a nrṿs dzîr t si matrz bròt t a finiś privntd an imīɉt dsprsl v ɖ parti, bt dinr ɖt īvnñ wz nt a sośl s’xes. Sr Wilfrid hd hd rɖr a trayñ tîm wɖ ɖ steblcat n subsiqntli wɖ ɖ coćmn. Agnis Rescr ostnteśsli liṃtd hr rpast t a morsl v drî tost, ẃć ś bit az ɖo it wr a prsnl eṇmi; ẃl Mevis Pelñtn mntend a vndictiv sîḷns ʈrt ɖ mīl. Ledi Blemli cept p a flo v ẃt ś hopt wz convseśn, bt hr atnśn wz fixt on ɖ dorwe. A pletfl v cerf̣li dost fiśscraps wz in redinis on ɖ sîdbōrd, bt swīts n sêṿri n dzrt wnt ɖer we, n no Toḅmori apird îɖr in ɖ dînñrūm or cićn.

Ɖ seplcṛl dinr wz ćirfl cmperd wɖ ɖ subsiqnt vijil in ɖ smocñrūm. Ītñ n drincñ hd at līst s’plaid a dstrax́n n clǒc t ɖ privelñ imbaṛsmnt. Brij wz ǎt v ɖ qsćn in ɖ jenṛl tnśn v nrvz n tmprz, n aftr Odo Finzḅri hd gvn a l’gūbrịs renḍrñ v “Melisãd in ɖ Wŭd” t a frijid ōdịns, ḿzic wz taṣtli avôdd. At ilevn ɖ srvnts wnt t bed, anǎnsñ ɖt ɖ smōl windo in ɖ pantri hd bn left opn az yźl fr Toḅmori’z prîṿt ys. Ɖ gests réd steḍli ʈru ɖ cuṛnt bać v maġzīnz, n fél bac graɉli, on ɖ “Badmintn Lîbrri” n baund volymz v PUNĆ. Ledi Blemli md piriodic vizits t ɖ pantri, rtrnñ ć tîm wɖ an xpreśn v listlis dpreśn ẃć fōrstōld qsć̣nñ.

At tū o’cloc Clovis brouc ɖ doṃnetñ sîḷns.

“H w’nt trn p tnît. H’z probbli in ɖ locl nyzpepr ofis at ɖ preznt momnt, dictetñ ɖ frst instōlmnt v hiz reṃnisnsz. Ledi Ẃt’s-hr-nem’z bc w’nt b in it. It wl b ɖ ivnt v ɖ de.”

Hvñ md ɖs contṛbyśn t ɖ jenṛl ćirflnis, Clovis wnt t bed. At loñ inṭvlz ɖ verịs membrz v ɖ hǎsparti foloud hiz xampl.

Ɖ srvnts tecñ rnd ɖ rli ti md a yṇform anǎnsmnt in rplî t a yṇform qsćn. Toḅmori hd nt rtrnd.

Brecfst wz, f eniʈñ, a mor unpleznt fuñśn ɖn dinr hd bn, bt bfr its cncluźn ɖ sićueśn wz rlivd. Toḅmori’z corps wz bròt in fṛm ɖ śruḅri, ẃr a gardnr hd jst dscuvrd it. Fṛm ɖ bîts on hiz ʈrot n ɖ yelo fŕ ẃć cǒtd hiz clwz it wz evidnt ɖt h hd fōḷn in unīql combat wɖ ɖ big Tom fṛm ɖ Recṭri.

Bî miḑe most v ɖ gests hd qitd ɖ Tǎrz, n aftr lunć Ledi Blemli hd sfiśntli rcuvrd hr spirits t rait an xtrimli nasti letr t ɖ Recṭri abt ɖ los v hr vałbl pet.

Toḅmori hd bn Apin’z wn s’xesfl pypl, n h wz destind t hv no s’xesr. A fy wīcs lêtr an elifnt in ɖ Drezdn Zụlojicl Gardn, ẃć hd śoun no prīvịs sînz v iritbiḷti, brouc lūs n cild an Ñgliśmn hu hd apaṛntli bn tizñ it. Ɖ victim’z nem wz verịsli rportd in ɖ peprz az Opin n Eṗlin, bt hiz frunt nem wz feʈf̣li rendrd Cornīłs.

“F h wz trayñ Jrmn ireğlr vrbz on ɖ pur bīst,” sd Clovis, “h dzrvd ol h got.”

CLASICS IN ÑSPEL

ÑSPEL

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925

Clasics in Ñspel: THE OPEN WINDOW by Saki

Đ OPN WINDO

Saci

“Mî ānt wl b dǎn prezntli, Mr Nutl,” sd a vri slf-pzest yuñ ledi v fiftīn; “in ɖ mntm y mst trî n pt p wɖ m.”

Framtn Nutl indevrd t se ɖ c’rect smʈñ ẃć śd dyli flatr ɖ nīs v ɖ momnt wɖǎt undyli dscǎntñ ɖ ānt ɖt wz t cm. Prîṿtli h dǎtd mor ɖn evr ẃɖr ɖz forml vizits on a s’xeśn v totl strenjrz wd d mć twdz hlpñ ɖ nrvkr ẃć h wz s’pozd t b unḍgwñ.

“I nǒ hǎ it wl b,” hiz sistr hd sd ẃn h wz pripẹrñ t mîgret t ɖs rrl rtrit; “y wl beri yrslf dǎn ɖr n nt spīc t a livñ soul, n yr nrvz wl b wrs ɖn evr fṛm mǒpñ. I śl jst gv y letrz v intṛdux́n t ol ɖ ppl I nǒ ɖr. Sm v ɖm, az far az I cn rmembr, wr qt nîs.”

Framtn wundrd ẃɖr Msz Sapltn, ɖ ledi t hūm h wz prizntñ wn v ɖ letrz v intṛdux́n cem intu ɖ nîs dviźn.

“D y nǒ mni v ɖ ppl rnd hir?” asct ɖ nīs, ẃn ś jujd ɖt ɖe hd hd sfiśnt sîḷnt cḿńn.

“Hardli a soul,” sd Framtn. “Mî sistr wz steyñ hir, at ɖ recṭri, y nǒ, sm for yirz ago, n ś gev m letrz v intṛdux́n t sm v ɖ ppl hir.”

H md ɖ last stetmnt in a ton v dstñt rgret.

“Ɖen y nǒ practicli nʈñ abt mî ānt?” psyd ɖ slf-pzest yuñ ledi.

“Onli hr nem n adres,” admitd ɖ cōlr. H wz wunḍrñ ẃɖr Msz Sapltn wz in ɖ marid or widoud stet. An undifîṇbl smʈñ abt ɖ rūm sīmd t sjst masklin habteśn.

“Hr gret traɉdi hapnd jst ʈri yirz ago,” sd ɖ ćîld; “ɖt wd b sins yr sistr’z tîm.”

“Hr traɉdi?” asct Framtn; smhǎ in ɖs restfl cuntrispot traɉdiz sīmd ǎt v ples.

“Y me wundr ẃ w cīp ɖt windo wîd opn on an Octobr afṭnun,” sd ɖ nīs, indicetñ a larj Frenć windo ɖt opnd on t a lōn.

“It z qt worm fr ɖ tîm v ɖ yir,” sd Framtn; “bt hz ɖt windo got eniʈñ t d wɖ ɖ traɉdi?”

“Ǎt ʈru ɖt windo, ʈri yirz ago t a de, hr huzbnd n hr tū yuñ bruɖrz wnt of fr ɖer de’z śūtñ. Ɖe nvr cem bac. In crosñ ɖ mur t ɖer fevrit snîpśūtñ grǎnd ɖe wr ol ʈri ingulft in a trećṛs pìs v bog. It hd bn ɖt dredfl wet sumr, y nǒ, n plesz ɖt wr sef in uɖr yirz gev we sudnli wɖǎt wornñ. Ɖer bodiz wr nvr rcuvrd. Ɖt wz ɖ dredfl part v it.” Hir ɖ ćîld’z vôs lost its slf-pzest not n bcem fōlṭrñli hymn. “Pur ānt olwz ʈncs ɖt ɖe wl cm bac smde, ɖe n ɖ litl brǎn spańl ɖt wz lost wɖ ɖm, n wōc in at ɖt windo jst az ɖe yst t d. Ɖt z ẃ ɖ windo z cept opn evri īvnñ tl it z qt dusc. Pur dir ānt, ś hz ofn tld m hǎ ɖe wnt ǎt, hr huzbnd wɖ hiz ẃît wōtr-prūf cot ovr hiz arm, n Roni, hr yungist bruɖr, sññ “Brti, ẃ d y bǎnd?” az h olwz dd t tīz hr, bcz ś sd it got on hr nrvz. D y nǒ, smtmz on stil, qayt īvnñz lîc ɖs, I olmst gt a crīpi fīlñ ɖt ɖe wl ol wōc in ʈru ɖt windo – ”

Ś brouc of wɖ a litl śudr. It wz a rlif t Framtn ẃn ɖ ānt busld intu ɖ rūm wɖ a ẃrl v apoḷji fr biyñ lêt in mcñ hr apiṛns.

“I hop Vira hz bn aḿzñ y?” ś sd.

“Ś hz bn vri inṭrestñ,” sd Framtn.

“I hop y d’nt mînd ɖ opn windo,” sd Msz Sapltn briscli; “mî huzbnd n bruɖrz wl b hom d’recli fṛm śūtñ, n ɖe olwz cm in ɖs we. Ɖ’v bn ǎt fr snîp in ɖ marśz tde, so ɖ’l mc a fîn mes ovr mî pur carpits. So lîc y menfoc, z’nt it?”

Ś ratld on ćirf̣li abt ɖ śūtñ n ɖ scerṣti v brdz, n ɖ prospects fr duc in ɖ wintr. T Framtn it wz ol pyrli horibl. H md a despṛt bt onli parṣ́li s’xesfl ef̣t t trn ɖ tōc on t a les gastli topic, h wz conśs ɖt hiz hostes wz gvñ him onli a fragmnt v hr atnśn, n hr îz wr constntli streyñ past him t ɖ opn windo n ɖ lōn bynd. It wz srtnli an unforćṇt cǒinsidns ɖt h śd hv peid hiz vizit on ɖs trajic aṇvrsri.

“Ɖ doctrz agri in orḍrñ m cmplit rest, an absns v mntl xîtmnt, n avôdns v eniʈñ in ɖ nećr v vayḷnt fizicl x’sîz,” anǎnst Framtn, hu lebrd undr ɖ tolṛbli wîdspred dluźn ɖt totl strenjrz n ćans aqentnsz r hungri fr ɖ līst dītel v wn’z eilmnts n infrṃtiz, ɖer cōz n kr. “On ɖ matr v dayt ɖe r nt so mć in agrīmnt,” h cntinyd.

“No?” sd Msz Sapltn, in a vôs ẃć onli rplest a yōn at ɖ last momnt. Ɖen ś sudnli brîtnd intu alrt atnśn – bt nt t ẃt Framtn wz seyñ.

“Hir ɖe r at last!” ś craid. “Jst in tîm fr ti, n d’nt ɖe lc az f ɖe wr mudi p t ɖ îz!”

Framtn śivrd slîtli n trnd twdz ɖ nīs wɖ a lc intndd t cnve simṗʈetic comprihnśn. Ɖ ćîld wz stẹrñ ǎt ʈru ɖ opn windo wɖ a dezd horr in hr îz. In a ćil śoc v nemlis fir Framtn swuñ rnd in hiz sīt n lct in ɖ sem d’rex́n.

In ɖ dīṗnñ twîlît ʈri figrz wr wōcñ acrs ɖ lōn twdz ɖ windo, ɖe ol carid gunz undr ɖer armz, n wn v ɖm wz adiśṇli brdnd wɖ a ẃît cot huñ ovr hiz śoldrz. A tîrd brǎn spańl cept clos at ɖer hìlz. Nôzlisli ɖe nird ɖ hǎs, n ɖen a hōrs yuñ vôs ćantd ǎt v ɖ dusc: “I sd, Brti, ẃ d y bǎnd?”

Framtn grabd wîldli at hiz stic n hat; ɖ hōl dor, ɖ gravl drîv, n ɖ fruntget wr dimli notd stejz in hiz hedloñ rtrit. A sîclist cmñ alñ ɖ rod hd t run intu ɖ hej t avôd iminnt c’liźn.

“Hir w r, mî dir,” sd ɖ berr v ɖ ẃît mac̣ntoś, cmñ in ʈru ɖ windo, “ferli mudi, bt most v it’s drî. Hu wz ɖt hu boltd ǎt az w cem p?”

“A most xtrordnri man, a Mr Nutl,” sd Msz Sapltn; “cd onli tōc abt hiz ilṇsz, n daśt of wɖǎt a wrd v gdbî or apoḷji ẃn y arîvd. Wn wd ʈnc h hd sìn a gost.”

“I xpct it wz ɖ spańl,” sd ɖ nīs cāmli; “h tld m h hd a horr v dogz. H wz wns huntd intu a seṃtri smẃr on ɖ bancs v ɖ Ganjīz bî a pac v p’raia dogz, n hd t spend ɖ nît in a nyli dug grev wɖ ɖ crīćrz snarlñ n grinñ n fomñ jst abv him. Inuf t mc eniwn lūz ɖer nrv.”

Romans at śort notis wz hr speśiaḷti.

CLASICS IN ÑSPEL

ÑSPEL

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925

Clasics in Ñspel: SREDNI VASHTAR by Saki

SREDNI VAŚTAR

Saci

Conṛdīn wz ten yirz old, n ɖ doctr hd pṛnǎnst hiz pṛfeśnl opińn ɖt ɖ bô wd nt liv anɖr fîv yirz. Ɖ doctr wz silci n ifit, n cǎntd fr litl, bt hiz opińn wz indorst bî Msz De Ropp, hu cǎntd fr nirli evriʈñ. Msz De Ropp wz Conṛdīn’z cuzn n gardịn, n in hiz îz ś reprizntd ɖoz ʈri-fifʈs v ɖ wrld ɖt r nesṣri n dis’griybl n riyl; ɖ uɖr tū-fifʈs, in ppćl antagnizm t ɖ fōrgwñ, wr sumd p in himslf n hiz imaɉneśn. Wn v ɖz dez Conṛdīn s’pozd h wd s’cum t ɖ masṭrñ preśr v wirism nesṣri ʈñz – sć az ilṇsz n coḍlñ rstrix́nz n drwn-ǎt dulnis. Wɖt hiz imaɉneśn, ẃć wz rampnt undr ɖ spr v lonlinis, h wd hv s’cumd loñ ago.

Msz De Ropp wd nvr, in hr onistist momnts, hv cnfest t hrslf ɖt ś dslîct Conṛdīn, ɖo ś mt hv bn dimli awer ɖt ʈwortñ him “fr hiz gd” wz a dyti ẃć ś dd nt fînd ptiklrli rcsm. Conṛdīn hetd hr wɖ a despṛt snseṛti ẃć h wz prficli ebl t masc. Sć fy pleźrz az h cd cntrîv fr himslf gend an add reliś fṛm ɖ lîclihd ɖt ɖe wd b dsplizñ t hiz gardịn, n fṛm ɖ relm v hiz imaɉneśn ś wz loct ǎt – an unclīn ʈñ, ẃć śd fînd no entṛns.

In ɖ dul, ćirlis gardn, oṿlct bî so mni windoz ɖt wr redi t opn wɖ a mesij nt t d ɖs or ɖt, or a rmîndr ɖt meḍsinz wr dy, h faund litl atrax́n. Ɖ fy frūțrīz ɖt it cntend wr set jeḷsli apart fṛm hiz plucñ, az ɖo ɖe wr rer spesimnz v ɖer cnd blūmñ in an arid west; it wd probbli hv bn dificlt t fînd a marcitgardnr hu wd hv ofrd ten śilñz fr ɖer intîr yirli prodys. In a fgotn cornr, hvr, olmst hidn bhnd a dizṃl śruḅri, wz a dsyzd tūlśed v rspctbl pṛporśnz, n wɖn its wōlz Conṛdīn faund a hêvn, smʈñ ɖt tc on ɖ vẹriyñ aspects v a plêrūm n a cʈīdṛl. H hd ppld it wɖ a lījn v fmiłr fantmz, ivoct partli fṛm fragmnts v hisṭri n partli fṛm hiz ǒn bren, bt it olso bostd tū inmets v fleś n blud. In wn cornr livd a ragid-plūmijd Hūdan hen, on ẃć ɖ bô laviśt an afx́n ɖt hd scersli anɖr ǎtlit. Frɖr bac in ɖ glūm std a larj huć, dvîdd intu tū cmpartmnts, wn v ẃć wz fruntd wɖ clos ayn barz. Ɖs wz ɖ abod v a larj polcat-ferit, ẃć a frendli bćrbô hd wns smugld, cej n ol, intu its preznt qortrz, in xćenj fr a loñ-s’critd hōrd v smōl silvr. Conṛdīn wz dredḟli afreid v ɖ lîɖ, śarp-fañd bīst, bt it wz hiz most treźrd pześn. Its vri prezns in ɖ tūlśed wz a sīcrit n firfl jô, t b cept scrūpyḷsli fṛm ɖ nolij v ɖ Wmn, az h prîṿtli dubd hiz cuzn. N wn de, ǎt v Hevn nz ẃt mtirịl, h spun ɖ bīst a wundrfl nem, n fṛm ɖt momnt it grù intu a god n a rlijn. Ɖ Wmn induljd in rlijn wns a wīc at a ćrć nir bî, n tc Conṛdīn wɖ hr, bt t him ɖ ćrćsrvis wz an ełn ráit in ɖ Hǎs v Rimn. Evri Ʈrzde, in ɖ dim n musti sîḷns v ɖ tūlśed, h wrśipt wɖ mistic n ilabṛt seṛmońl bfr ɖ wŭdn huć ẃr dwelt Sredni Vaśtar, ɖ gret ferit. Red flǎrz in ɖer sīzn n scarlit bériz in ɖ wintrtîm wr ofrd at hiz śrîn, fr h wz a god hu leid sm speśl stres on ɖ firs impeśnt sîd v ʈñz, az opozd t ɖ Wmn’z rlijn, ẃć, az far az Conṛdīn cd obzrv, wnt t gret leñʈs in ɖ contrri d’rex́n. N on gret fstivlz pǎdrd nutmeg wz strùn in frunt v hiz huć, an importnt fīćr v ɖ oḟrñ biyñ ɖt ɖ nutmeg hd t b stoḷn. Ɖz fstivlz wr v ireğlr ocuṛns, n wr ćīfli apôntd t seḷbret sm pasñ ivnt. On wn oceźn, ẃn Msz De Ropp sufrd fṛm akt tuʈ-ec fr ʈri dez, Conṛdīn cept p ɖ fstivl jrñ ɖ intîr ʈri dez, n olmst s’xidd in pswedñ himslf ɖt Sredni Vaśtar wz prsṇli rsponsbl fr ɖ tuʈ-ec. F ɖ maḷdi hd lastd fr anɖr de ɖ s’plî v nutmeg wd hv gvn ǎt.

Ɖ Hūdan hen wz nvr drwn intu ɖ cult v Sredni Vaśtar. Conṛdīn hd loñ ago setld ɖt ś wz an Aṇbaptist. H dd nt pritnd t hv ɖ rmotist nolij az t ẃt an Aṇbaptist wz, bt h prîṿtli hopt ɖt it wz daśñ n nt vri rspctbl. Msz De Ropp wz ɖ grǎndplan on ẃć h best n dtstd ol rspctbiḷti.

Aftr a ẃl Conṛdīn’z abzorpśn in ɖ tūlśed bgan t atract ɖ notis v hiz gardịn. “It z nt gd fr him t b poṭrñ dǎn ɖr in ol weɖrz,” ś promtli dsîdd, n at brecfst wn mornñ ś anǎnst ɖt ɖ Hūdan hen hd bn sold n tecn awe oṿnît. Wɖ hr śort-sîtd îz ś pīrd at Conṛdīn, wêtñ fr an ǎtbrec v rej n soro, ẃć ś wz redi t rbyc wɖ a flo v xḷnt prīsepts n rīẓnñ. Bt Conṛdīn sd nʈñ: ɖr wz nʈñ t b sd. Smʈñ phps in hiz ẃît sét fes gev hr a momntri qām, fr at ti ɖt afṭnun ɖr wz tost on ɖ tebl, a delic̣si ẃć ś yẓ́li bánd on ɖ grǎnd ɖt it wz bad fr him; olso bcz ɖ mcñ v it “gev trubl,” a dedli ofns in ɖ midl-clas feṃnin î.

“I ʈt y lîct tost,” ś xclemd, wɖ an injrd er, obzrvñ ɖt h dd nt tuć it.

“Smtmz,” sd Conṛdīn.

In ɖ śed ɖt īvnñ ɖr wz an iṇveśn in ɖ wrśp v ɖ hućgod. Conṛdīn hd bn wǒnt t ćant hiz prezz, tnît h asct a būn.

“D wn ʈñ fr m, Sredni Vaśtar.”

Ɖ ʈñ wz nt speṣfaid. Az Sredni Vaśtar wz a god h mst b s’pozd t nǒ. N ćocñ bac a sob az h lct at ɖt uɖr emti cornr, Conṛdīn wnt bac t ɖ wrld h so hetd.

N evri nît, in ɖ welcm darcnis v hiz bedrūm, n evri īvnñ in ɖ dusc v ɖ tūlśed, Conṛdīn’z bitr liṭni wnt p: “D wn ʈñ fr m, Sredni Vaśtar.”

Msz De Ropp notist ɖt ɖ vizits t ɖ śed dd nt sīs, n wn de ś md a frɖr jrni v inspx́n.

“Ẃt r y cīpñ in ɖt loct huć?” ś asct. “I b’liv it’s ginipigz. I’l hv ɖm ol clird awe.”

Conṛdīn śut hiz lips tît, bt ɖ Wmn ransact hiz bedrūm tl ś faund ɖ cerḟli hidn ci, n fʈwʈ marćt dǎn t ɖ śed t cmplit hr dscuṿri. It wz a cold afṭnun, n Conṛdīn hd bn bidn t cīp t ɖ hǎs. Fṛm ɖ frɖist windo v ɖ dînñrūm, ɖ dor v ɖ śed cd jst b sìn bynd ɖ cornr v ɖ śruḅri, n ɖr Conṛdīn steśnd himslf. H sw ɖ Wmn entr, n ɖen h imajind hr oṗnñ ɖ dor v ɖ secrid huć n pirñ dǎn wɖ hr śort-sîtd îz intu ɖ ʈic strw bed ẃr hiz god le hidn. Phps ś wd prod at ɖ strw in hr clumzi impeśns. N Conṛdīn frvntli briɖd hiz prer fr ɖ last tîm. Bt h ń az h preid ɖt h dd nt b’liv. H ń ɖt ɖ Wmn wd cm ǎt prezntli wɖ ɖt prst smîl h loɖd so wel on hr fes, n ɖt in an aur or tū ɖ gardnr wd cari awe hiz wundrfl god, a god no longr, bt a simpl brǎn ferit in a huć. N h ń ɖt ɖ Wmn wd trîumf olwz az ś trîumft nǎ, n ɖt h wd gro evr mor sicli undr hr psṭrñ n doṃnirñ n s’pirịr wizdm, tl wn de nʈñ wd matr mć mor wɖ him, n ɖ doctr wd b pruvd rît. N in ɖ stñ n miẓri v hiz dfit, h bgan t ćant lǎdli n dfayntli ɖ hím v hiz ʈretnd aidl:

Sredni Vaśtar wnt fʈ,

Hiz ʈōts wr red ʈōts n hiz tīʈ wr ẃît.

Hiz eṇmiz cōld fr pīs, bt h bròt ɖm deʈ.

Sredni Vaśtar ɖ Bytifl.

N ɖen v a sudn h stopt hiz ćantñ n drù closr t ɖ windopein. Ɖ dor v ɖ śed stl std ajar az it hd bn left, n ɖ minits wr slipñ bî. Ɖe wr loñ minits, bt ɖe slipt bî nvɖles. H woćt ɖ starlñz runñ n flayñ in litl partiz acrs ɖ lōn; h cǎntd ɖm ovr n ovr agn, wɖ wn î olwz on ɖt swññ dor. A sǎr-fest meid cem in t le ɖ tebl fr ti, n stl Conṛdīn std n wêtd n woćt. Hop hd crept bî inćz intu hiz hart, n nǎ a lc v trîumf bgan t blêz in hiz îz ɖt hd onli noun ɖ wistfl peśns v dfit. Undr hiz breʈ, wɖ a frtiv xlteśn, h bgan wns agn ɖ piyn v vicṭri n devsteśn. N prezntli hiz îz wr rwordd: ǎt ʈru ɖt dorwe cem a loñ, lo, yelo-n-brǎn bīst, wɖ îz a-blinc at ɖ wenñ dêlît, n darc wet stenz arnd ɖ fŕ v jwz n ʈrot. Conṛdīn dropt on hiz niz. Ɖ gret polcat-ferit md its we dǎn t a smōl brŭc at ɖ ft v ɖ gardn, dranc fr a momnt, ɖen crost a litl planc brij n wz lost t sît in ɖ bśz. Sć wz ɖ pasñ v Sredni Vaśtar.

“Ti z redi,” sd ɖ sǎr-fest meid; “ẃr z ɖ mistris?” “Ś wnt dǎn t ɖ śed sm tîm ago,” sd Conṛdīn. N ẃl ɖ meid wnt t sumn hr mistris t ti, Conṛdīn fiśt a tostñforc ǎt v ɖ sîdbōrḑror n pṛsidd t tost himslf a pìs v bred. N jrñ ɖ tostñ v it n ɖ buṭrñ v it wɖ mć butr n ɖ slo injômnt v ītñ it, Conṛdīn lisnd t ɖ nôzz n sîḷnsz ẃć fél in qc spazmz bynd ɖ dînñrūm dor. Ɖ lǎd fūliś scrīmñ v ɖ meid, ɖ anṣrñ cōṛs v wunḍrñ ijakleśnz fṛm ɖ cićn rījn, ɖ scuṭrñ ftsteps n hurid emḅsiz fr ǎtsd hlp, n ɖen, aftr a lul, ɖ scerd sobñz n ɖ śuḟlñ tréd v ɖoz hu bòr a hevi brdn intu ɖ hǎs.“Huevr wl brec it t ɖ pur ćîld? I cd’nt fr ɖ lîf v m!” xclemd a śril vôs. N ẃl ɖe dbetd ɖ matr amñ ɖmslvz, Conṛdīn md himslf anɖr pìs v tost.

CLASICS IN ÑSPEL

ÑSPEL

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925

Clasics in Ñspel: THE LUMBER ROOM by Saki

Ɖ LUMBŖŪM

Saci

Ɖ  ćildṛn wr t b drivn, az a speśl trīt, t ɖ sandz at Jagḅra. Nicḷs wz nt t b v ɖ parti; h wz in dsgres. Onli ɖt mornñ h hd rfyzd t īt hiz holsm bred-n-milc on ɖ sīmñli frivḷs grǎnd ɖt ɖr wz a frog in it. Oldr n wîzr n betr ppl hd tld him ɖt ɖr cd nt poṣbli b a frog in hiz bred-n-milc n ɖt h wz nt t tōc nonsns; h cntinyd, nvɖles, t tōc ẃt sīmd ɖ veriist nonsns, n dscrîbd wɖ mć dītel ɖ cuḷreśn n marcñz v ɖ alejid frog. Ɖ dṛmatic part v ɖ insidnt wz ɖt ɖr riyli wz a frog in Nicḷs’ besn v bred-n-milc; h hd pt it ɖr himslf, so h flt intîtld t nǒ smʈñ abt it. Ɖ sin v tecñ a frog fṛm ɖ gardn n ptñ it intu a bol v holsm bred-n-milc wz inlarjd on at gret leñʈ, bt ɖ fact ɖt std ǎt clirist in ɖ hol afer, az it prizntd itslf t ɖ mînd v Nicḷs, wz ɖt ɖ oldr, wîzr, n betr ppl hd bn pruvd t b pṛfǎndli in err in matrz abt ẃć ɖe hd xprest ɖ utmost aśuṛns.

“Y sd ɖr cd’nt poṣbli b a frog in mî bred-n-milc; ɖr wz a frog in mî bred-n-milc,” h rpitd, wɖ ɖ insistns v a scild tactiśn hu dz nt intnd t śift fṛm fevṛbl grǎnd.

So hiz bôcuzn n grlcuzn n hiz qt uninṭrestñ yungr bruɖr wr t b tecn t Jagḅra sandz ɖt afṭnun n h wz t ste at hom. Hiz cuznz’ ānt, hu insistd, bî an unwoṛntd streć v imaɉneśn, in stîlñ hrslf hiz ānt olso, hd hesṭli invntd ɖ Jagḅra xpdiśn in ordr t impres on Nicḷs ɖ dlîts ɖt h hd justli forḟtd bî hiz dsgresfl conduct at ɖ brecfsțebl. It wz hr habit, ẃnvr wn v ɖ ćildṛn fél fṛm gres, t impṛvîz smʈñ v a fstivl nećr fṛm ẃć ɖ ofndr wd b rigṛsli dbard; f ol ɖ ćildṛn sind c’lectivli ɖe wr sudnli informd v a src̣s in a neḅrñ tǎn, a src̣s v unrîvld merit n uncǎntd elifnts, t ẃć, bt fr ɖer dpravti, ɖe wd hv bn tecn ɖt vri de.

A fy dīsnt tirz wr lct fr on ɖ part v Nicḷs ẃn ɖ momnt fr ɖ dparćr v ɖ xpdiśn arîvd. Az a matr v fact, hvr, ol ɖ crayñ wz dn bî hiz grlcuzn, hu scrept hr ni rɖr penḟli agnst ɖ step v ɖ carij az ś wz scramḅlñ in.

“Hǎ ś dd hǎl,” sd Nicḷs ćirḟli, az ɖ parti drouv of wɖt eni v ɖ ileśn v hî spirits ɖt śd hv caṛcṭrîzd it.

“Ś’l sn gt ovr ɖt,” sd ɖ soi-disant ānt; “it wl b a glorịs afṭnun fr rêsñ abt ovr ɖoz bytifl sandz. Hǎ ɖe wl injô ɖmslvz!”

“Bobi w’nt injô himslf mć, n h w’nt rês mć îɖr,” sd Nicḷs wɖ a grim ćucl; “hiz būts r hrtñ him. Ɖ’r tù tît.”

“Ẃ dd’nt h tel m ɖe wr hrtñ?” asct ɖ ānt wɖ sm aspeṛti.

“H tld y twîs, bt y wr’nt liṣnñ. Y ofn d’nt lisn ẃn w tel y importnt ʈñz.”

“Y r nt t g intu ɖ gūzḅrigardn,” sd ɖ ānt, ćenjñ ɖ subjict.

“Ẃ nt?” dmandd Nicḷs.

“Bcz y r in dsgres,” sd ɖ ānt lofṭli.

Nicḷs dd nt admit ɖ flwlisnis v ɖ rīẓnñ; h flt prficli ceṗbl v biyñ in dsgres n in a gūzḅrigardn at ɖ sem momnt. Hiz fes tc on an xpreśn v cnsidṛbl obstiṇsi. It wz clir t hiz ānt ɖt h wz dtrmind t gt intu ɖ gūzḅrigardn, “onli,” az ś rmarct t hrslf, “bcz I hv tld him h z nt t.”

Nǎ ɖ gūzḅrigardn hd tū dorz bî ẃć it mt b entrd, n wns a smōl prsn lîc Nicḷs cd slip in ɖr h cd ifcć̣li dis’pir fṛm vy amd ɖ mascñ groʈ v artićocs, razḅricenz, n frūt bśz. Ɖ ānt hd mni uɖr ʈñz t d ɖt afṭnun, bt ś spent an aur or tū in trivịl garḍnñ oṗreśnz amñ flǎrbedz n śruḅriz, ẃns ś cd cīp a woćfl î on ɖ tū dorz ɖt léd t ɖ fbidn paṛdîs. Ś wz a wmn v fy îdīaz, wɖ imns pǎrz v consntreśn.

Nicḷs md wn or tū sortiz intu ɖ fruntgardn, riġlñ hiz we wɖ obvịs stelʈ v prṗs twdz wn or uɖr v ɖ dorz, bt nvr ebl fr a momnt t ived ɖ ānt’s woćfl î. Az a matr v fact, h hd no intnśn v trayñ t gt intu ɖ gūzḅrigardn, bt it wz xtrimli cnvińnt fr him ɖt hiz ānt śd b’liv ɖt h hd; it wz a b’lif ɖt wd cīp hr on slf-impozd sntridyti fr ɖ gretr part v ɖ afṭnun. Hvñ ʈuṛli cnfrmd n forṭfaid hr sspiśnz Nicḷs slipt bac intu ɖ hǎs n rapidli pt intu x’kśn a plan v ax́n ɖt hd loñ jrṃnetd in hiz bren. Bî standñ on a ćer in ɖ lîbrri, wn cd rīć a ślf on ẃć rpozd a fat, importnt-lcñ ci. Ɖ ci wz az importnt az it lct; it wz ɖ instṛmnt ẃć cept ɖ misṭriz v ɖ lumbŗūm s’kr fṛm unoʈ̇rîzd intruźn, ẃć opnd a we onli fr ānts n sć-lîc priṿlijd prsnz. Nicḷs hd nt hd mć xpirịns v ɖ art v fitñ ciz intu cīhoulz n trnñ locs, bt fr sm dez past h hd practist wɖ ɖ ci v ɖ scūlrum dor; h dd nt b’liv in trustñ tù mć t luc n axidnt. Ɖ ci trnd stifli in ɖ loc, bt it trnd. Ɖ dor opnd, n Nicḷs wz in an uņoun land, cmperd wɖ ẃć ɖ gūzḅrigardn wz a stel dlît, a mir mtirịl pleźr.

Ofn n ofn Nicḷs hd picćrd t himslf ẃt ɖ lumbŗūm mt b lîc, ɖt rījn ɖt wz so cerḟli sìld fṛm yʈfl îz n cnsrnñ ẃć no qsćnz wr evr ansrd. It cem p t hiz xpcteśnz. In ɖ frst ples it wz larj n dimli lit, wn hî windo oṗnñ on t ɖ fbidn gardn biyñ its onli sors v iluṃneśn. In ɖ secnd ples it wz a storhǎs v unimajind treźrz. Ɖ ānt-bî-asrśn wz wn v ɖoz ppl hu ʈnc ɖt ʈñz spôl bî ys n cnsîn ɖm t dust n damp bî we v prizrvñ ɖm. Sć parts v ɖ hǎs az Nicḷs ń bst wr rɖr bér n ćirlis, bt hir ɖr wr wundrfl ʈñz fr ɖ î t fīst on. Frst n fōrmost ɖr wz a pìs v fremd taṗstri ɖt wz evidntli mnt t b a fîrscrīn. T Nicḷs it wz a livñ, briɖñ stori; h sat dǎn on a rol v Indịn haññz, glowñ in wundrfl culrz bnʈ a leyr v dust, n tc in ol ɖ dītelz v ɖ taṗstri picćr. A man, drest in ɖ huntñcostym v sm rmot pirịd, hd jst trnsfixt a stag wɖ an aro; it cd nt hv bn a dificlt śot bcz ɖ stag wz onli wn or tū pesz awe fṛm him; in ɖ ʈicli-growñ vejteśn ɖt ɖ picćr sjstd it wd nt hv bn dificlt t crīp p t a fīdñ stag, n ɖ tū spotd dogz ɖt wr sprññ fwd t jôn in ɖ ćes hd evidntli bn trênd t cīp t hìl tl ɖ aro wz dsćarjd. Ɖt part v ɖ picćr wz simpl, f inṭrestñ, bt dd ɖ huntsmn si, ẃt Nicḷs sw, ɖt for gaḷpñ wlvz wr cmñ in hiz d’rex́n ʈru ɖ wŭd? Ɖr mt b mor ɖn for v ɖm hidn bhnd ɖ triz n, in eni ces, wd ɖ man n hiz dogz b ebl t cǒp wɖ ɖ for wlvz f ɖe md an atac? Ɖ man hd onli tū aroz left in hiz qivr, n h mt mis wɖ wn or bʈ v ɖm; ol wn ń abt hiz scil in śūtñ wz ɖt h cd hit a larj stag at a r’dikḷsli śort renj. Nicḷs sat fr mni goldn minits rvolvñ ɖ posbiḷtiz v ɖ sīn; h wz inclînd t ʈnc ɖt ɖr wr mor ɖn for wlvz n ɖt ɖ man n hiz dogz wr in a tît cornr.

Bt ɖr wr uɖr objicts v dlît n inṭrest clemñ hiz instnt atnśn: ɖr wr qent twistd candlstics in ɖ śep v snecs, n a tīpot faśnd lîc a ćîna duc, ǎt v huz opn bīc ɖ ti wz s’pozd t cm. Hǎ dul n śeplis ɖ nrṣri tīpot sīmd in cmparisn! N ɖr wz a carvd sandlwŭd box páct tît wɖ aṛmatic cotnwŭl, n btwn ɖ leyrz v cotnwŭl wr litl bras figrz, hump-nect blz, n pīcocs n goblinz, dlîtfl t si n t handl. Les proṃsñ in apiṛns wz a larj sqer bc wɖ plen blac cuvrz; Nicḷs pīpt intu it, n, bhold, it wz fl v culrd picćrz v brdz. N sć brdz! In ɖ gardn, n in ɖ lenz ẃn h wnt fr a wōc, Nicḷs cem acrs a fy brdz, v ẃć ɖ larjist wr an oceźnl magpî or wŭdpijn; hir wr heṛnz n bustdz, cîts, tūcnz, tîgrbitrnz, bruśtrciz, iḅsz, goldn feznts, a hol portritgaḷri v undremt-ov crīćrz. N az h wz admîrñ ɖ cuḷrñ v ɖ Manḍrin duc n asînñ a lîfhisṭri t it, ɖ vôs v hiz ānt in śril vsiḟreśn v hiz nem cem fṛm ɖ gūzḅrigardn wɖt. Ś hd groun sspiśs at hiz loñ dis’piṛns, n hd lept t ɖ cncluźn ɖt h hd clîmd ovr ɖ wōl bhnd ɖ ślṭrñ scrīn v ɖ lîlac bśz; ś wz nǎ ingejd in eṇjetic n rɖr hoplis srć fr him amñ ɖ artićocs n razḅricenz.

“Nicḷs, Nicḷs!” ś scrīmd, “y r t cm ǎt v ɖs at wns. It’s no ys trayñ t hîd ɖr; I cn si y ol ɖ tîm.”

It wz probbli ɖ frst tîm fr twenti yirz ɖt eniwn hd smîld in ɖt lumbŗūm.

Prezntli ɖ angri reṗtiśnz v Nicḷs’ nem gev we t a śrīc, n a crî fr smbdi t cm qcli. Nicḷs śut ɖ bc, rstord it cerḟli t its ples in a cornr, n śc sm dust fṛm a neḅrñ pîl v nyzpeprz ovr it. Ɖen h crept fṛm ɖ rūm, loct ɖ dor, n rplest ɖ ci xacli ẃr h hd faund it. Hiz ānt wz stl cōlñ hiz nem ẃn h sōntrd intu ɖ fruntgardn.

“Hu’z cōlñ?” h asct.

“M,” cem ɖ ansr fṛm ɖ uɖr sîd v ɖ wōl; “dd’nt y hír m? I’v bn lcñ fr y in ɖ gūzḅrigardn, n I’v slipt intu ɖ renwōtr tanc. Luc̣li ɖr’z no wōtr in it, bt ɖ sîdz r sliṗri n I c’nt gt ǎt. Feć ɖ litl ladr fṛm undr ɖ ćeritrī – ”

“I wz tld I wz’nt t g intu ɖ gūzḅrigardn,” sd Nicḷs promtli.

“I tld y nt t, n nǎ I tel y ɖt y me,” cem ɖ vôs fṛm ɖ renwōtr tanc, rɖr impeśntli.

“Yr vôs dz’nt sǎnd lîc ānt’s,” objctd Nicḷs; “y me b ɖ Īvl Wn tmtñ m t b dis’bīdịnt. Ānt ofn tlz m ɖt ɖ Īvl Wn tmts m n ɖt I olwz yīld. Ɖs tîm I’m nt gwñ t yīld.”

“D’nt tōc nonsns,” sd ɖ priznr in ɖ tanc; “g n feć ɖ ladr.”

“Wl ɖr b strwḅri jam fr ti?” asct Nicḷs iṇsntli.

“Srtnli ɖr wl b,” sd ɖ ānt, prîṿtli rzolvñ ɖt Nicḷs śd hv nn v it.

“Nǎ I nǒ ɖt y r ɖ Īvl Wn n nt ānt,” śǎtd Nicḷs glīḟli; “ẃn w asct ānt fr strwḅri jam yesṭde ś sd ɖr wz’nt eni. I nǒ ɖr r for jarz v it in ɖ storcuḅd, bcz I lct, n v cors y nǒ it’s ɖr, bt ś dz’nt, bcz ś sd ɖr wz’nt eni. Ǒ, Devl, y hv sold yrslf!”

Ɖr wz an unyźl sns v lux̣́ri in biyñ ebl t tōc t an ānt az ɖo wn wz tōcñ t ɖ Īvl Wn, bt Nicḷs ń, wɖ ćîldiś dsrnmnt, ɖt sć lux̣́riz wr nt t b oṿinduljd in. H wōct nôẓli awe, n it wz a cićnmeid, in srć v parsli, hu ivnć̣li reskd ɖ ānt fṛm ɖ renwōtr tanc.

Ti ɖt īvnñ wz ptecn v in a firsm sîḷns. Ɖ tîd hd bn at its hîist ẃn ɖ ćildṛn hd arîvd at Jagḅra Cov, so ɖr hd bn no sandz t ple on – a srcmstans ɖt ɖ ānt hd oṿlct in ɖ hest v orġnîzñ hr pyṇtiv xpdiśn. Ɖ tîtnis v Bobi’z būts hd hd dzastṛs ifct on hiz tmpr ɖ hol v ɖ afṭnun, n oltgɖr ɖ ćildṛn cd nt hv bn sd t hv injoid ɖmslvz. Ɖ ānt mntend ɖ frozn ḿtnis v wn hu hz sufrd undigṇfaid n unmeṛtd dtnśn in a renwōtr tanc fr ʈrti-fîv minits. Az fr Nicḷs, h, tù, wz sîḷnt, in ɖ abzorpśn v wn hu hz mć t ʈnc abt; it wz jst poṣbl, h cnsidrd, ɖt ɖ huntsmn wd iscep wɖ hiz hǎndz ẃl ɖ wlvz fīstd on ɖ stricn stag.

CLASICS IN ÑSPEL

ÑSPEL

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925