Category Archives: Ballads

Frank Poems: WHY NOT?

Went to a wedding feast in Liverpool
and things were going fine
when I heard the MC mutter
Christ! There’s no more feckin’ wine!

Now I can’t condone bad language
or taking mi name in vain
though if I weren’t the Son of God
I might’ve said the same.

Mi mum, she heard it also
and leant across to me,
saying, There seems to be a problem.
Why doncha go and see?

Now I love mi mother dearly
but it were neither place nor time
so I just replied demurely
Tain’ no concern of mine.

But no mother’s as formidabla
as my formidabla mum:
she just called a waiter over
and said Listen to mi son.

Now I love mi mother dearly
so when she says things twice to me
I always think that really
I’d best not disagree.

So I says to that there waiter
Ya see them great big jars?
Fill ’em right up with water
and take a little glass

over to yer gaffer
before he has a fit.
I’m sure he’ll feel much better
when he’s drunk a little bit.

Which when they’d done, yer man exclaimed
Jeez! They’ve kept the best till last!
Sorted, lads and lasses!
We’ll be round to fill yer glass.

Now I really, really can’t accept
(being God’s only son)
bad language or drinking to excess
within the normal run

but when it comes to wedding feasts
why can’t folk have some fun?
(You needn’t take my word for it:
just go and ask mi mum.)

So, in the end the wedding feast
could not have been much better
and it made me glad that as well as God
I’m a living breathing fella.

Well, that were my first miracle
done before the proper time
by putting a spell on water
and turning it to wine.

Scaus Deo

Clasics in Ñspel: THE BALLAD OF THE HARP-WEAVER, by Edna St. Vincent Millay

Ɖ BAḶD OV Ɖ HARPWĪVR

Edna St Vinsnt Mile

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“Sun,” sd mî muɖr,
Ẃn I wz ni-hî,
“Y’v nīd v cloɖz t cuvr y,
N nt a rag hv I.

“Ɖr’z nʈñ in ɖ hǎs
T mc a bô brićz,
Nr śirz t cut a cloʈ wɖ
Nr ʈred t tec stićz.

“Ɖr’z nʈñ in ɖ hǎs
Bt a lof-end v rî,
N a harp wɖ a wmn’z hed
Nbdi wl bai,”
N ś bgan t crî.

Ɖt wz in ɖ rli fōl.
Ẃn cem ɖ lêt fōl,
“Sun,” ś sd, “ɖ sît v y
Mcs yr muɖr’z blud crōl,—

“Litl scini śoldrbledz
Sticñ ʈru yr cloɖz!
N ẃr y’l gt a jacit fṛm
God abv nz.

“It’s luci fr m, lad,
Yr dadi’z in ɖ grǎnd,
N c’nt si ɖ we I let
Hiz sun g arnd!”
N ś md a qir sǎnd.

Ɖt wz in ɖ lêt fōl.
Ẃn ɖ wintr cem,
I’d nt a per v brićz
Nr a śrt t mî nem.

I cd’nt g t scūl,
Or ǎt v dorz t ple.
N ol ɖ uɖr litl bôz
Pást ǎr we.

“Sun,” sd mî muɖr,
“Cm, clîm intu mî lap,
N I’l ćef yr litl bonz
Ẃl y tec a nap.”

N, ǒ, bt w wr sili
Fr haf an aur or mor,
M wɖ mî loñ legz
Dragñ on ɖ flor,

A-roc-roc-rocñ
T a muɖrgūs rîm!
Ǒ, bt w wr hapi
Fr haf an aur’z tîm!

Bt ɖr wz I, a gret bô,
N ẃt wd focs se
T hír mî muɖr sññ m
T slīp ol de,
In sć a daft we?

Men se ɖ wintr
Wz bad ɖt yir;
Fyl wz scers,
N fūd wz dir.

A wind wɖ a wlf’s hed
Hǎld abt ǎr dor,
N w brnd p ɖ ćerz
N sat upn ɖ flor.

Ol ɖt wz left s
Wz a ćer w cd’nt brec,
N ɖ harp wɖ a wmn’z hed
Nbdi wd tec,
Fr soñ or piti’z sec.

Ɖ nît bfr Crisṃs
I craid wɖ ɖ cold,
I craid mslf t slīp
Lîc a tū-yir-old.

N in ɖ dīp nît
I felt mî muɖr rîz,
N stér dǎn upn m
Wɖ luv in hr îz.

I sw mî muɖr sitñ
On ɖ wn gd ćer,
A lît fōlñ on hr
Fṛm I cd’nt tel ẃr,

Lcñ nîntīn,
N nt a de oldr,
N ɖ harp wɖ a wmn’z hed
Līnd agnst hr śoldr.

Hr ʈin fngrz, muvñ
In ɖ ʈin, tōl strñz,
Wr wīv-wīv-wīvñ
Wundrfl ʈñz.

Mni brît ʈredz,
Fṛm ẃr I cd’nt si,
Wr runñ ʈru ɖ harpstrñz
Rapidli,

N gold ʈredz ẃiṣlñ
Ʈru mî muɖr’z hand.
I sw ɖ web gro,
N ɖ patn xpand.

Ś wov a ćîld’s jacit,
N ẃn it wz dn
Ś leid it on ɖ flor
N wov anɖr wn.

Ś wov a red clǒc
So rīgl t si,
“Ś’z md it fr a cñ’z sun,”
I sd, “n nt fr m.”
Bt I ń it wz fr m.

Ś wov a per v brićz
Qcr ɖn ɖt!
Ś wov a per v būts
N a litl coct hat.

Ś wov a per v mitnz,
Ś wov a litl blǎz,
Ś wov ol nît
In ɖ stil, cold hǎs.

Ś sañ az ś wrct,
N ɖ harpstrñz spouc;
Hr vôs nvr fōltrd,
N ɖ ʈred nvr brouc.
N ẃn I awouc,—

Ɖr sat mî muɖr
Wɖ ɖ harp agnst hr śoldr
Lcñ nîntīn
N nt a de oldr,

A smîl abt hr lips,
N a lît abt hr hed,
N hr handz in ɖ harpstrñz
Frozn ded.

N pîld p bsd hr
N toṗlñ t ɖ scîz,
Wr ɖ cloɖz v a cñ’z sun,
Jst mî sîz.

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CLASICS IN ÑSPEL