Clasics in Ñspel: COLONEL FAZACKERLEY BUTTERWORTH-TOAST, by Charles Causley

CRNL FZAC̣LI BUṬWRƮTOST

Ćarlz Cōzli

Crnl Fzac̣li Buṭwrʈ-Tost
Bòt an old casl cmplit wɖ a gost,
Bt smwn or uɖr fgot t dcler
T Crnl Fzak ɖt ɖ spectr wz ɖr.

On ɖ vri frst īvnñ, ẃl wêtñ t dîn,
Ɖ Crnl wz tecñ a fîn śeriwîn,
Ẃn ɖ gost, wɖ a fyrịs flaś n a fler,
Śót ǎt v ɖ ćimni n śivrd, ‘Bwer!’

Crnl Fzac̣li pt dǎn hiz glas
N sd, ‘Mî dir felo, ɖt’s riyli frst clas!
I jst c’nt cnsiv hǎ y d it at ol.
I imajin y’r gwñ t a Fansi-Dres Bōl?’

At ɖs, ɖ dred gost md a wiɖ̇rñ crî.
Sd ɖ Crnl (hiz moṇcl frm in hiz î),
‘Nǎ jst hǎ y d it, I wś I cd ʈnc.
D sit dǎn n tel m, n plīz hv a drinc.’

Ɖ gost in hiz fosfṛs clǒc gev a ror
N flotd abt btwn sīlñ n flor.
H wōct ʈru a wōl n rtrnd ʈru a pein
N bact p ɖ ćimni n cem dǎn agn.

Sd ɖ Crnl, ‘Wɖ laftr I’m fīlñ qt wìc!’
(Az triclz v merimnt ran dǎn hiz ćīc).
‘Mî hǎswormñ parti

I hop y w’nt sprn.

Y MST se y’l cm n gv s a trn!’

At ɖs, ɖ pur spectr –

qt ǎt v hiz wits –

Pṛsidd t śec himslf olmst t bits.
H ratld hiz ćenz n h clatrd hiz bonz
N h fild ɖ hol casl

wɖ mumblz n monz.

Bt Crnl Fzac̣li, jst az bfr,
Wz simpli dlîtd n cōld ǎt, ‘Oncor!’
At ẃć ɖ gost vaniśt, hiz ef̣ts in ven,
N nvr wz sìn at ɖ casl agn.

‘Ǒ dir, ẃt a piti!’ sd Crnl Fzak.
‘I d’nt nǒ hiz nem,

so I c’nt cōl him bac.’

N ɖen wɖ a smîl ɖt wz hard t dfîn,
Crnl Fzac̣li wnt in t dîn.

CLASICS IN ÑSPEL

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