Clasics in Ñspel: THE LUMBER ROOM by Saki

Ɖ LUMBŖŪM

Saci

Ɖ  ćildṛn wr t b drivn, az a speśl trīt, t ɖ sandz at Jagḅra. Nicḷs wz nt t b v ɖ parti; h wz in dsgres. Onli ɖt mornñ h hd rfyzd t īt hiz holsm bred-n-milc on ɖ sīmñli frivḷs grǎnd ɖt ɖr wz a frog in it. Oldr n wîzr n betr ppl hd tld him ɖt ɖr cd nt poṣbli b a frog in hiz bred-n-milc n ɖt h wz nt t tōc nonsns; h cntinyd, nvɖles, t tōc ẃt sīmd ɖ veriist nonsns, n dscrîbd wɖ mć dītel ɖ cuḷreśn n marcñz v ɖ alejid frog. Ɖ dṛmatic part v ɖ insidnt wz ɖt ɖr riyli wz a frog in Nicḷs’ besn v bred-n-milc; h hd pt it ɖr himslf, so h flt intîtld t nǒ smʈñ abt it. Ɖ sin v tecñ a frog fṛm ɖ gardn n ptñ it intu a bol v holsm bred-n-milc wz inlarjd on at gret leñʈ, bt ɖ fact ɖt std ǎt clirist in ɖ hol afer, az it prizntd itslf t ɖ mînd v Nicḷs, wz ɖt ɖ oldr, wîzr, n betr ppl hd bn pruvd t b pṛfǎndli in err in matrz abt ẃć ɖe hd xprest ɖ utmost aśuṛns.

“Y sd ɖr cd’nt poṣbli b a frog in mî bred-n-milc; ɖr wz a frog in mî bred-n-milc,” h rpitd, wɖ ɖ insistns v a scild tactiśn hu dz nt intnd t śift fṛm fevṛbl grǎnd.

So hiz bôcuzn n grlcuzn n hiz qt uninṭrestñ yungr bruɖr wr t b tecn t Jagḅra sandz ɖt afṭnun n h wz t ste at hom. Hiz cuznz’ ānt, hu insistd, bî an unwoṛntd streć v imaɉneśn, in stîlñ hrslf hiz ānt olso, hd hesṭli invntd ɖ Jagḅra xpdiśn in ordr t impres on Nicḷs ɖ dlîts ɖt h hd justli forḟtd bî hiz dsgresfl conduct at ɖ brecfsțebl. It wz hr habit, ẃnvr wn v ɖ ćildṛn fél fṛm gres, t impṛvîz smʈñ v a fstivl nećr fṛm ẃć ɖ ofndr wd b rigṛsli dbard; f ol ɖ ćildṛn sind c’lectivli ɖe wr sudnli informd v a src̣s in a neḅrñ tǎn, a src̣s v unrîvld merit n uncǎntd elifnts, t ẃć, bt fr ɖer dpravti, ɖe wd hv bn tecn ɖt vri de.

A fy dīsnt tirz wr lct fr on ɖ part v Nicḷs ẃn ɖ momnt fr ɖ dparćr v ɖ xpdiśn arîvd. Az a matr v fact, hvr, ol ɖ crayñ wz dn bî hiz grlcuzn, hu scrept hr ni rɖr penḟli agnst ɖ step v ɖ carij az ś wz scramḅlñ in.

“Hǎ ś dd hǎl,” sd Nicḷs ćirḟli, az ɖ parti drouv of wɖt eni v ɖ ileśn v hî spirits ɖt śd hv caṛcṭrîzd it.

“Ś’l sn gt ovr ɖt,” sd ɖ soi-disant ānt; “it wl b a glorịs afṭnun fr rêsñ abt ovr ɖoz bytifl sandz. Hǎ ɖe wl injô ɖmslvz!”

“Bobi w’nt injô himslf mć, n h w’nt rês mć îɖr,” sd Nicḷs wɖ a grim ćucl; “hiz būts r hrtñ him. Ɖ’r tù tît.”

“Ẃ dd’nt h tel m ɖe wr hrtñ?” asct ɖ ānt wɖ sm aspeṛti.

“H tld y twîs, bt y wr’nt liṣnñ. Y ofn d’nt lisn ẃn w tel y importnt ʈñz.”

“Y r nt t g intu ɖ gūzḅrigardn,” sd ɖ ānt, ćenjñ ɖ subjict.

“Ẃ nt?” dmandd Nicḷs.

“Bcz y r in dsgres,” sd ɖ ānt lofṭli.

Nicḷs dd nt admit ɖ flwlisnis v ɖ rīẓnñ; h flt prficli ceṗbl v biyñ in dsgres n in a gūzḅrigardn at ɖ sem momnt. Hiz fes tc on an xpreśn v cnsidṛbl obstiṇsi. It wz clir t hiz ānt ɖt h wz dtrmind t gt intu ɖ gūzḅrigardn, “onli,” az ś rmarct t hrslf, “bcz I hv tld him h z nt t.”

Nǎ ɖ gūzḅrigardn hd tū dorz bî ẃć it mt b entrd, n wns a smōl prsn lîc Nicḷs cd slip in ɖr h cd ifcć̣li dis’pir fṛm vy amd ɖ mascñ groʈ v artićocs, razḅricenz, n frūt bśz. Ɖ ānt hd mni uɖr ʈñz t d ɖt afṭnun, bt ś spent an aur or tū in trivịl garḍnñ oṗreśnz amñ flǎrbedz n śruḅriz, ẃns ś cd cīp a woćfl î on ɖ tū dorz ɖt léd t ɖ fbidn paṛdîs. Ś wz a wmn v fy îdīaz, wɖ imns pǎrz v consntreśn.

Nicḷs md wn or tū sortiz intu ɖ fruntgardn, riġlñ hiz we wɖ obvịs stelʈ v prṗs twdz wn or uɖr v ɖ dorz, bt nvr ebl fr a momnt t ived ɖ ānt’s woćfl î. Az a matr v fact, h hd no intnśn v trayñ t gt intu ɖ gūzḅrigardn, bt it wz xtrimli cnvińnt fr him ɖt hiz ānt śd b’liv ɖt h hd; it wz a b’lif ɖt wd cīp hr on slf-impozd sntridyti fr ɖ gretr part v ɖ afṭnun. Hvñ ʈuṛli cnfrmd n forṭfaid hr sspiśnz Nicḷs slipt bac intu ɖ hǎs n rapidli pt intu x’kśn a plan v ax́n ɖt hd loñ jrṃnetd in hiz bren. Bî standñ on a ćer in ɖ lîbrri, wn cd rīć a ślf on ẃć rpozd a fat, importnt-lcñ ci. Ɖ ci wz az importnt az it lct; it wz ɖ instṛmnt ẃć cept ɖ misṭriz v ɖ lumbŗūm s’kr fṛm unoʈ̇rîzd intruźn, ẃć opnd a we onli fr ānts n sć-lîc priṿlijd prsnz. Nicḷs hd nt hd mć xpirịns v ɖ art v fitñ ciz intu cīhoulz n trnñ locs, bt fr sm dez past h hd practist wɖ ɖ ci v ɖ scūlrum dor; h dd nt b’liv in trustñ tù mć t luc n axidnt. Ɖ ci trnd stifli in ɖ loc, bt it trnd. Ɖ dor opnd, n Nicḷs wz in an uņoun land, cmperd wɖ ẃć ɖ gūzḅrigardn wz a stel dlît, a mir mtirịl pleźr.

Ofn n ofn Nicḷs hd picćrd t himslf ẃt ɖ lumbŗūm mt b lîc, ɖt rījn ɖt wz so cerḟli sìld fṛm yʈfl îz n cnsrnñ ẃć no qsćnz wr evr ansrd. It cem p t hiz xpcteśnz. In ɖ frst ples it wz larj n dimli lit, wn hî windo oṗnñ on t ɖ fbidn gardn biyñ its onli sors v iluṃneśn. In ɖ secnd ples it wz a storhǎs v unimajind treźrz. Ɖ ānt-bî-asrśn wz wn v ɖoz ppl hu ʈnc ɖt ʈñz spôl bî ys n cnsîn ɖm t dust n damp bî we v prizrvñ ɖm. Sć parts v ɖ hǎs az Nicḷs ń bst wr rɖr bér n ćirlis, bt hir ɖr wr wundrfl ʈñz fr ɖ î t fīst on. Frst n fōrmost ɖr wz a pìs v fremd taṗstri ɖt wz evidntli mnt t b a fîrscrīn. T Nicḷs it wz a livñ, briɖñ stori; h sat dǎn on a rol v Indịn haññz, glowñ in wundrfl culrz bnʈ a leyr v dust, n tc in ol ɖ dītelz v ɖ taṗstri picćr. A man, drest in ɖ huntñcostym v sm rmot pirịd, hd jst trnsfixt a stag wɖ an aro; it cd nt hv bn a dificlt śot bcz ɖ stag wz onli wn or tū pesz awe fṛm him; in ɖ ʈicli-growñ vejteśn ɖt ɖ picćr sjstd it wd nt hv bn dificlt t crīp p t a fīdñ stag, n ɖ tū spotd dogz ɖt wr sprññ fwd t jôn in ɖ ćes hd evidntli bn trênd t cīp t hìl tl ɖ aro wz dsćarjd. Ɖt part v ɖ picćr wz simpl, f inṭrestñ, bt dd ɖ huntsmn si, ẃt Nicḷs sw, ɖt for gaḷpñ wlvz wr cmñ in hiz d’rex́n ʈru ɖ wŭd? Ɖr mt b mor ɖn for v ɖm hidn bhnd ɖ triz n, in eni ces, wd ɖ man n hiz dogz b ebl t cǒp wɖ ɖ for wlvz f ɖe md an atac? Ɖ man hd onli tū aroz left in hiz qivr, n h mt mis wɖ wn or bʈ v ɖm; ol wn ń abt hiz scil in śūtñ wz ɖt h cd hit a larj stag at a r’dikḷsli śort renj. Nicḷs sat fr mni goldn minits rvolvñ ɖ posbiḷtiz v ɖ sīn; h wz inclînd t ʈnc ɖt ɖr wr mor ɖn for wlvz n ɖt ɖ man n hiz dogz wr in a tît cornr.

Bt ɖr wr uɖr objicts v dlît n inṭrest clemñ hiz instnt atnśn: ɖr wr qent twistd candlstics in ɖ śep v snecs, n a tīpot faśnd lîc a ćîna duc, ǎt v huz opn bīc ɖ ti wz s’pozd t cm. Hǎ dul n śeplis ɖ nrṣri tīpot sīmd in cmparisn! N ɖr wz a carvd sandlwŭd box páct tît wɖ aṛmatic cotnwŭl, n btwn ɖ leyrz v cotnwŭl wr litl bras figrz, hump-nect blz, n pīcocs n goblinz, dlîtfl t si n t handl. Les proṃsñ in apiṛns wz a larj sqer bc wɖ plen blac cuvrz; Nicḷs pīpt intu it, n, bhold, it wz fl v culrd picćrz v brdz. N sć brdz! In ɖ gardn, n in ɖ lenz ẃn h wnt fr a wōc, Nicḷs cem acrs a fy brdz, v ẃć ɖ larjist wr an oceźnl magpî or wŭdpijn; hir wr heṛnz n bustdz, cîts, tūcnz, tîgrbitrnz, bruśtrciz, iḅsz, goldn feznts, a hol portritgaḷri v undremt-ov crīćrz. N az h wz admîrñ ɖ cuḷrñ v ɖ Manḍrin duc n asînñ a lîfhisṭri t it, ɖ vôs v hiz ānt in śril vsiḟreśn v hiz nem cem fṛm ɖ gūzḅrigardn wɖt. Ś hd groun sspiśs at hiz loñ dis’piṛns, n hd lept t ɖ cncluźn ɖt h hd clîmd ovr ɖ wōl bhnd ɖ ślṭrñ scrīn v ɖ lîlac bśz; ś wz nǎ ingejd in eṇjetic n rɖr hoplis srć fr him amñ ɖ artićocs n razḅricenz.

“Nicḷs, Nicḷs!” ś scrīmd, “y r t cm ǎt v ɖs at wns. It’s no ys trayñ t hîd ɖr; I cn si y ol ɖ tîm.”

It wz probbli ɖ frst tîm fr twenti yirz ɖt enwn hd smîld in ɖt lumbŗūm.

Prezntli ɖ angri reṗtiśnz v Nicḷs’ nem gev we t a śrīc, n a crî fr smbdi t cm qcli. Nicḷs śut ɖ bc, rstord it cerḟli t its ples in a cornr, n śc sm dust fṛm a neḅrñ pîl v nyzpeprz ovr it. Ɖen h crept fṛm ɖ rūm, loct ɖ dor, n rplest ɖ ci xacli ẃr h hd faund it. Hiz ānt wz stl cōlñ hiz nem ẃn h sōntrd intu ɖ fruntgardn.

“Hu’z cōlñ?” h asct.

“M,” cem ɖ ansr fṛm ɖ uɖr sîd v ɖ wōl; “dd’nt y hír m? I’v bn lcñ fr y in ɖ gūzḅrigardn, n I’v slipt intu ɖ renwōtr tanc. Luc̣li ɖr’z no wōtr in it, bt ɖ sîdz r sliṗri n I c’nt gt ǎt. Feć ɖ litl ladr fṛm undr ɖ ćeritrī – ”

“I wz tld I wz’nt t g intu ɖ gūzḅrigardn,” sd Nicḷs promtli.

“I tld y nt t, n nǎ I tel y ɖt y me,” cem ɖ vôs fṛm ɖ renwōtr tanc, rɖr impeśntli.

“Yr vôs dz’nt sǎnd lîc ānt’s,” objctd Nicḷs; “y me b ɖ Īvl Wn tmtñ m t b dis’bīdịnt. Ānt ofn tlz m ɖt ɖ Īvl Wn tmts m n ɖt I olwz yīld. Ɖs tîm I’m nt gwñ t yīld.”

“D’nt tōc nonsns,” sd ɖ priznr in ɖ tanc; “g n feć ɖ ladr.”

“Wl ɖr b strwḅri jam fr ti?” asct Nicḷs iṇsntli.

“Srtnli ɖr wl b,” sd ɖ ānt, prîṿtli rzolvñ ɖt Nicḷs śd hv nn v it.

“Nǎ I nǒ ɖt y r ɖ Īvl Wn n nt ānt,” śǎtd Nicḷs glīḟli; “ẃn w asct ānt fr strwḅri jam yesṭde ś sd ɖr wz’nt eni. I nǒ ɖr r for jarz v it in ɖ storcuḅd, bcz I lct, n v cors y nǒ it’s ɖr, bt ś dz’nt, bcz ś sd ɖr wz’nt eni. Ǒ, Devl, y hv sold yrslf!”

Ɖr wz an unyźl sns v lux̣́ri in biyñ ebl t tōc t an ānt az ɖo wn wz tōcñ t ɖ Īvl Wn, bt Nicḷs ń, wɖ ćîldiś dsrnmnt, ɖt sć lux̣́riz wr nt t b oṿinduljd in. H wōct nôẓli awe, n it wz a cićnmeid, in srć v parsli, hu ivnć̣li reskd ɖ ānt fṛm ɖ renwōtr tanc.

Ti ɖt īvnñ wz ptecn v in a firsm sîḷns. Ɖ tîd hd bn at its hîist ẃn ɖ ćildṛn hd arîvd at Jagḅra Cov, so ɖr hd bn no sandz t ple on – a srcmstans ɖt ɖ ānt hd oṿlct in ɖ hest v orġnîzñ hr pyṇtiv xpdiśn. Ɖ tîtnis v Bobi’z būts hd hd dzastṛs ifct on hiz tmpr ɖ hol v ɖ afṭnun, n oltgɖr ɖ ćildṛn cd nt hv bn sd t hv injoid ɖmslvz. Ɖ ānt mntend ɖ frozn ḿtnis v wn hu hz sufrd undigṇfaid n unmeṛtd dtnśn in a renwōtr tanc fr ʈrti-fîv minits. Az fr Nicḷs, h, tù, wz sîḷnt, in ɖ abzorpśn v wn hu hz mć t ʈnc abt; it wz jst poṣbl, h cnsidrd, ɖt ɖ huntsmn wd iscep wɖ hiz hǎndz ẃl ɖ wlvz fīstd on ɖ stricn stag.

CLASICS IN ÑSPEL

ÑSPEL

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925

03/01/2023

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