Fṛm Đ Gardịn: Any correlation between the truth and what Liz Truss said was entirely coincidental

Truss was in a full-on state of denial. If she had accidentally mouthed the odd truth she would definitely make sure that she never made that mistake again. Photograph: Henry Nicholls/Reuters
Trus wz in a fl-on stet v dnayl. F ś hd axdnṭli mǎɖd ɖ od truʈ ś wd defiṇtli mc śr ɖt ś nvr md ɖt mstec agn. Foṭgraf: Hnri Niclz/Rôtrz

Eni coṛleśn btwn ɖ truʈ n ẃt Liz Trus sd wz intîrli cǒinsdntl

(Transcription of an article published in the Guardian on Tuesday 17 May 2022)

Tōriz’ Brexit-d’renjmnt sindrom wz in fl swñ az Trus gev stetmnt on plan t dis’plî Norɖn Îrḷnd proṭcol

John Crace

Jon Crês, Tyzde 17 Me 2022

Ɖr wz gwñ t b hel t pe ẃn Liz Trus faund ǎt hu hd ngośietd, agrìd n sînd ɖ Norɖn Îrḷnd proṭcol. Ẃt’s mor, nwn hd evr sd ɖr wz an ilex́n-winñ, uvn-redi Brexit dīl on ɖ tebl bac in 2019. Ɖt wz ɖ cnd v śemlis lî onli opziśnpartiz cd tel …

Boris Jonsn hz ɖ nac v brññ evrwn dǎn t hiz levl in ɖ end. C’rupt, narssistic, incompitnt. Ɖ foṛn secṛtri z jst ɖ lêtist – f intîrli cmplisit – victim in ɖs. So ẃn ś cem t ɖ Comnz t gv hr stetmnt on guvnmntplanz t dis’plî ɖ Norɖn Îrḷnd proṭcol, Trus wz in a fl-on stet v dnayl. Eni coṛleśn btwn ẃt ś sd n ɖ truʈ wz intîrli cǒinsdntl. N f ś hd axdnṭli mǎɖd ɖ od truʈ ś wd defiṇtli mc śr ɖt ś nvr md ɖt mstec agn.

Ẃt w got wz slrd ramḅlñz reṃnisnt v smwn struñ ǎt on fnṭnil. Ɖ Norɖn Îrḷnd proṭcol hd nvr bn intndd t b set in ston. It hd olwz bn jst a tmprri fix untl ɖ YC guvnmnt cem p wɖ smʈñ it lîct betr. Riyli? Trus clirli hd’nt bn folowñ hǎ ɖ Convict hd sold it t ɖ cuntri bac in 2019. Ɖen it hd bn ɖ ansr – ɖ Majic Bŭlit – t evri Brexitr’z drīmz.

Ɖr wz clirli a part v Trus ɖt ń ś wz spywñ a wrdsaḷd v boḷcs bcz ś stumbld ovr sntnsz n spouc in a r’botic moṇton. Az f struġlñ t disingej fṛm ẃt’s left v hr conśns. Telñ lîz on ɖs scel mst b so c’rosiv t eni sns v prsnl integṛti n slf-wrʈ. Ɖr me stl b a smōl part v hr ɖt nz ś z a frōd. Bt it mst b sîḷnst. Ś hz sold hr soul in ɖ b’lif ɖt hr ambiśn cn onli b riylîzd bî ǎt-Cnvictñ ɖ Convict. It w’nt end wel. Slīpwōcñ n wośñ hr handz.

Yt on ś wnt. Ɖ proṭcol hd hd unintndd consiqnsz. Consiqnsz, sć az a bordr in ɖ Îriś Sì, ɖt hd bn wîdli pridictd loñ bfr ɖ Brexit dīl hd bn agrìd. Bt Trus wz at penz t pônt ǎt ɖt ś wz’nt planñ t scrap ɖ proṭcol. Jst rendr it toṭli unrecgnîẓbl unls ɖ YY hapnd t agri t evrʈñ ɖ YC guvnmnt asct.

N it wz defiṇtli līgl t brec inṭnaśnl lwz. Ś ń ɖt bcz ɖ guvnmnt hd tecn advîs fṛm a top loyr, ɖo ś cd’nt se hu ɖt top loyr wz bcz it wz a sīcrit. Luc̣li ś dd’nt nīd t. Ɖ atrnijenṛl, Suela Braṿmn, wz sitñ rît bî hr sîd. Smʈñ ɖt śd hv gvn most Tōriz sm pōz fr ʈt, az Braṿmn z wn v ɖ dimist loyrz arnd. Ɖ cnd v loyr ɖt nn v hr pirz wd īvn trust t witnis a pasportfoto. Stl, ś z toṭli cmplaynt n wl se ẃtvr z rqîrd. Ẃć z ẃ Jonsn valyz hr.

Stìvn Dǎti, standñ in fr Devid Lami, hu wz slf-îṣletñ, traid t spel ǎt a fy homtruɖz. It hd bn Jonsn’z guvnmnt hu hd cm p wɖ ɖ proṭcol. Trus śc hr hed. It defiṇtli hd’nt bn. Dǎti prest on. Îɖr ɖ guvnmnt hd’nt unḍstd ẃt it wz sînñ p t, or it hd olwz intndd t rneg on ɖ dīl. H fūliśli míst ǎt an obvịs ʈrd opśn. Ɖt ɖ Convict n Trus hd’nt hd a clu ẃt ɖe wr dwñ n hd pland on tẹrñ p ɖ agrīmnt.

Lebr wz ol fr smōl amndmnts t ɖ proṭcol, sd Dǎti. Lîc endñ ćecs on sanẉjz ɖt hd no ćans v biyñ smugld ovr ɖ bordr t ɖ rpublic. Ɖz h wz śr ɖ YY cd agri t. Bt bigr ćenjz wr a fanṭsi. Smʈñ ɖt wd nt onli sparc a tred wor wɖ ɖ YY – Trus prct p at ɖs: ś’z olwz fansid hrslf az a latr-de Gloriana drept in a yńn jac – bt wd snd a mesij t ɖ rest v ɖ wrld ɖt ɖ YC cd nt b trustd t cīp eni v its inṭnaśnl obḷgeśnz.

Nǎ Trus fŭli lost ɖ plot. It wz lîc ɖs, ś sd. Ɖ YC hd onli agrìd t ɖ proṭcol bcz it hd nvr xpctd ɖ YY t acć̣li aplî it. Ś hd olwz ʈt ɖt ɖ YY hd bn ngośietñ in īqli az bad feʈ az ɖ Convict n it hd cm az a totl śoc ɖt ɖe hd riyli mnt ẃt ɖe sd. Ɖt wz’nt hǎ līgl agrīmnts norṃli wrct.

Ɖ guvnmnt’s prîoṛti wz t prizrv ɖ Gd Frîde agrīmnt, ẃć wz toṭli incmpatbl wɖ ɖ proṭcol – ś stl dd’nt nǒ hu hd bn mronic inuf t sîn ɖ agrīmnt – so it wz nǎ hr dyti t brec ɖ lw f ɖ YY dd’nt oblîj. Ẃć ś hopt ɖe wd’nt.

Sîmn Hòr, ɖ ćer v ɖ Norɖn Îrḷnd s’lect cmiti, wz apōld Trus cd b cnsiḍrñ brecñ ɖ lw, bt olmst evri uɖr Tori MP wz xtatic. Bil Caś recnd w śd b startñ a landwor wɖ Jrṃni – h’l nvr b trūli hapi untl ɖ Hun hz bn tòt a lésn. T’rīza Viłrz ʈt w śd puniś ɖ YY fr nt tecñ ɖ Qīn’z platinmjūḅli sirịsli inuf.

Brexit-d’renjmnt sindrom wz in fl swñ. Ol ɖoz MPz hu hd loñd fr sm poẓtiv Brexit nyz wr on ɖer fīt. Stīv Becr rvild himslf t b a clozit Marxist. Ẃt wz nīdd wz daylectics. Ɖ YY wz suḟrñ fṛm fōls conśsnis bî aplayñ ɖ proṭcol so w wd b dwñ ɖm a fevr bî ignorñ it. Blesid r ɖ pīs-mcrz. Cris Grelñ ʈt it wz ɖ YY hu wz brecñ ɖ lw. Bles. Gv him a stic n h’l fînd ɖ roñ end v it. Pītr Bon sevd ɖ bst fr last. Brexit hd onli bn poṣbl bcz Boris hd bn priperd t lî. So ẃt wz rqîrd wz yt mor layñ.

Ɖ DYP’z Jefri Donldsn olso hd s’lectiv amnīzia. H hd nvr s’portd ɖ proṭcol, h sd. Ɖo h defiṇtli hd. H wz left t a prîṿt grīf. Nwn rmîndd him ɖt ɖ DYP hd olso hd ɖer ćansz n blù it bî opozñ T’rīza Me’z Norɖn Îrḷnd bacstop. Ɖt wd hv iliṃnetd a bordr in ɖ Îriś Sì …

Bî nǎ Trus hd cmplitli tynd ǎt. Hr wrc wz dn. Ś hd lct tuf fr ɖ Brex̣ti bacbnćrz ẃl pisñ of ɖ Îriś n ɖ YY. Îdiyl fr hr līdrśp ćansz. Evri clǎd n ol ɖt.

Instroduction to Ñspel

18/05/2022

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