Férwel, Riśi Sŭnac, parḷmnt’s Ic̣ṛs hu hz fîṇli craś-landd
(Transcription of an article published in the Guardian on 14 April 2022)
Fṛm oṿsiyñ masfrōd t mesñ p frlo, ɖ ćanslr’z mstecs r mni. It’s amezñ hiz popylaṛti hld so loñ
Adića Ćacṛborti, Ʈrzde 14 Epril 2022
Ẃn ɖ Tîmz last pt Riśi Sŭnac on ɖ cuvr v its Saṭde maġzīn, in Ōġst 2020, it yzd a picćr ɖt wz olmst norml. Ɖr std ɖ ćanslr bhnd a grīn leɖr ćer, wẹrñ a nevi sūt n prpl tî – bt Fotośopt abv hiz hed wz wn xtra dītel: a gold helo, az f t se hir z no mir fînansministr, bt an envô fṛm God.
Bac ɖen, lots v ppl ʈt ɖ ćanslr wz simpli dvîn. Ɖs wz ɖ ira v “diśi Riśi”, v pundits grġlñ in dlît ovr a pṛfeśṇli kretd Insṭgram fīd, v JK maġzīn mūnñ ovr ɖ 40-smʈñ az an “unlîcli stîlhiro”. “R Sŭnac’s sūts riyli ol ɖt gd? Or am I biyñ blîndsîdd bî ɖoz cînd îz n ɖt flwlis cmplex́n?”, ḿzd its stîld’rectr, lîc a caṛctr fṛm a Jūdi Blùm novl. It mt hv bn onli tū yirz bac, bt it fīlz lîc an itrṇti ago.
Bad nyz nǎ clñz t Sŭnac lîc brz t a dog aftr a wōc in ɖ wŭdz. Frst, ɖ rzǎndñ emtinis v last munʈ’z sprñstetmnt, īvn az ɖ cuntri wz slîdñ intu a historic sośl n ic̣nomic crîsis. Ɖen last wīc’s reṿleśnz ɖt hiz wîf dz’nt pe YC tax on hr inṭnaśnl incm n ɖt ɖ ćanslr himslf hld a YS grīn card ẃl livñ in Dǎnñ Strīt. N on Tyzde, ɖ Metṛpolitn p’līs slapt him wɖ a fain fr atndñ a brʈde parti fr Boris Jonsn. Sŭnac’s alîz r telñ jrṇlists h z fyrịs abt ɖ p’līs dsiźn, seyñ h onli wnt t ɖ cabiṇtrūm t si ɖ prîm̦inistr abt smʈñ els. Ɖs me b tru. Ẃt z fōls z ɖ ćanslr’z clem ɖt h brouc no rūlz n ɖt h “dd nt atnd eni partiz”. Jst lîc hiz bos, h hz laid t bʈ ɖ public n parḷmnt.
It z nǎ olmst imposbl t si Sŭnac az a sirịs cntndr fr Nu 10, az h wz jst a fy munʈs ago. Hiz abstīmịs dilijns ofrd a contrast t Jonsn’z xūbṛnt śemlisnis. H spouc fluwnt spredśīt ẃl dǒlñ ǎt rletbl content on sośl mīdia. Jrñ ɖ pandemic, h slogd awe at hiz dsc ẃl hiz colīgz wnt padlbōrdñ or smūćt in ɖer miṇstirịl oḟsz. H wz a tecnocrat in an ej v popylizm, a grounup amñ a cabiṇt v suḷn bumblrz. H wz a Devid Camṛn proṭźe hu’d ʈrîvd in ɖ Jonsn ira, gwñ fṛm rŭci MP t secnd-top job in guvnmnt in jst fîv yirz. H wz slic, śarp, sīmñli sntrist. H wz, in śort, ɖ prîm̦inistr fr ɖoz hu clemd t b p’liticli homlis.
Or so wnt ɖ pić. I hv nvr bòt it. Ʈrt hiz tîm at No 11, Sŭnac hz vird btwn mîopia n cruwlti. H wz lêt t spot jst hǎ sirịs Covid wd pruv t b, dliṿrñ a bujit in mid-Marć 2020 ɖt hd t b pld apart n updetd, wīc aftr wīc. Hiz crǎnñ aćivmnt wz t intṛdys ɖ frloscīm, ẃć h waund p wɖ sć indīsnt hest ɖt h wz ɖen forst t xtnd ɖ scīm, at wn pônt onli fîv aurz bfr it wz dy t xpîr.
In orġnîzñ ɖ £46bn “bans-bac lounscīm”, h hz oṿsìn ɖ gretist amǎnt v frōd v eni ćanslr – so bad ɖt wn v hiz ǒn ministrz, Lord Agny, rzînd in dsgust. Cnsiḍrñ ɖ sumz v public muni involvd, ɖs scandl śd b on evri fruntpej in Britn: tnz v ʈǎzndz v lounz handd t ptnśl frōdstrz, n an esṭmetd figr v p t £20bn lost fṛm ɖ public prs. Phps £4bn v ɖt wl b ritn of az frōd – rufli az mć az Sŭnac hz ćopt of ɖs yir’z foṛn-ed bujit.
Ɖ apaṛntli non-îdịlojicl Cnsrṿtiv, az Wiłm Hêg dubd him, hz alaud ǎt-v-wrc beṇfits t fōl ɖs munʈ t a 50-yir lo. Ɖ man hu cd’nt sort ǎt ɖ sic-pe sistm at a tîm ẃn unpresdntd numbrz wr fōlñ sic, instd dremt p Īt ǎt t hlp ǎt, ẃć cost taxpeyrz £840m ẃl olso incuṛjñ Covid t spred. Acordñ t ɖ lêtist iśu v ɖ pir-rvyd Ic̣nomic Jrnl, ɖ scīm “cn acǎnt fr btwn 8% [n] 17% v ol ny [Covid-19] infx́nz” jrñ ɖ pirịd in ẃć ɖ scīm wz activ, (n lîcli mni mor non-dtctd esimṭmatic infx́nz). Bt it dd yīld a gret fotoóp, in ẃć evrwn’z feṿrit x-hejfundr pt in a śift wêtñ teblz at Waġmama.
No Lebr ćanslr cd hv got awe wɖ westñ sć vast sumz. No poḷtiśn śd gt of ɖ hc fr inactñ poḷsiz ɖt mc ppl il. N no prîm̦iṇstirịl wd-bi śd b alaud t hv no planz t dīl wɖ ɖ sōrñ cost v fyl n gdz. Ɖoz r ɖ ćarjz fr ẃć ɖ ćanslr śd b arend, nt ćiṛpñ Hapi Brʈde wɖ Cári Jonsn.
Yt, p untl vri rīsntli, Sŭnac hz injoid an amezñ lac v scrūṭni. H sits at ɖ vri sntr v ɖ krịs nex̣s btwn ɖ Spectetr n Dǎnñ Strīt. H wz bst man at ɖ wedñ v ɖ maġzīn’z p’liticl editr – ɖ wîf v hūm wnt on t bcm Sŭnac’s spoucswmn. Ɖ nyzpeprz trītd ɖs cozinis az mir hapi cǒinsidns. Hiz bacgrǎnd in śadobancñ, hiz £10m portfolio v hǎzz, hiz antilocdǎn poḷtics: nn v it rezd so mć az an îbrǎ. H marid intu ɖ faṃli v wn v ɖ most importnt biznisṃn on ɖ planit, Narîana Mrti v Infosis, bt ɖ ćanslr’z faɖr-in-lw hz arǎzd bérli eni krioṣti in ɖ Britiś pres. Yt az ɖ raitr Emiliano Mellino pônts ǎt in hiz lêtist Substac, ɖ man hu Sŭnac cōlz “wundrfl” opozz ɖ formñ v tred yńnz in India’z IT inḍstri n hz cōld fr wrcrz t pt in 60-aur wīcs.
Sŭnac wz ɖ Ic̣ṛs v ɖs parḷmnt, ɖ man hu craśt t Rʈ bt śd nvr hv bn alaud t flî so hî in ɖ frst ples. N nǎ ɖ comṗtiśn t rples Jonsn wl g on wɖt him, its ny fruntrunrz xpozñ jst hǎ strenj n swivl-aid tde’z Cnsrṿtiv parti riyli z. Liz Trus, enwn?
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