Fṛm Đ Gardịn: Give me a cheerful amateur like Bill Bailey over a joyless perfectionist any day

Oti Mbūs n Bil Beili jrñ a Stricli Cm Dansñ dres-rhrsl. Foṭgraf: Gai Levi/BBC/PA

Gv m a ćirfl aṃćr lîc Bil Beili ovr a jôlis pfx̣́nist eni de

(Transcription of an article published in the Guardian on 20 November 2020)

In ɖs yir v ol yirz, w mst gv ǎrslvz a brec, īz of ɖ cmpettivnis, n jst d ǎr bst

Gaby Hinsliff

Gabi Hinslif, 20 Nvmbr 2020

Bil Beili: ‘Stricli’s bn xtrordnri! I’v īvn s’prîzd mslf’

Ɖr r fy ʈñz mor ovŗetd in lîf ɖn biyñ gd at it.

Taḷnt wl ǎt, obvịsli; n winñ z olwz nîs. Bt nbdi luvz a jôlis pfx̣́nist, hu smugli gts evrʈñ rît frst tîm. It’s ẃ Bil Beili abṣlutli dzrvz t b ɖ unixpctd brecǎt-star v ɖs yir’z Stricli Cm Dansñ īvn f (ẃispr it) h z’nt tecnicli ɖ most pṛfiśnt dansr, n ẃ ɖ Gret Britiś Bec Of jst hz’nt bn ɖ sem sins ɖ î-rolñ Loti wz cict of. Sarcastic, iratic, oceẓ́nli inspîrd n oceẓ́nli screpñ mltd îsñ of ɖ cǎntr wɖ a sai, ś wz ɖ prfict mîldli dsruptiv cntstnt fr a hoļi dsruptd yir. Ɖs siriz z’nt riyli abt ɖ becñ or īvn abt Ɖ Jrni, a mōciś bt artf̣li corịgraft bacstori ɖt hlps cntstnts tug at ɖ hartstrñz. It’s mor t d wɖ ɖ unixpctd jô v dwñ ʈñz – bî ẃć I mīn, v cors, ʈñz ɖt d’nt acć̣li matr – ćirf̣li bt nt ol ɖt wel.

Fr a hapi fy, ɖ îdīa ɖt y d’nt acć̣li hv t b eni gd at a hobi t cari on baśñ awe at it z old nyz. Ɖ’r ɖ wnz bhnd ɖ rîz v so-cōld tynlis qîrz, or sññ grūps fr ppl hu c’nt hit a not t sev ɖer livz bt ʈuṛli injô bltñ a soñ ǎt enwe; ppl hu wd b tù intiṃdetd t jôn a propr qîr n b ɖ onli wn sññ of-ci, bt hv faund a we v letñ rip wɖt biyñ md t fīl slf-conśs.

Ɖ’r olso ɖ drîvñfors bhnd parcrun, ẃć lîc Jo Wics’z onlîn FE lésn hz bn an abṣlut gift t ɖoz v s olwz pict last fr netbōl. Śr, y cn trn p in an aʈletics-vst n tec a Saṭde 5ce arnd ɖ parc unḅliṿbli sirịsli f y wont, cilñ yrslf t mīt last wīc’s prsnl bst n bragñ abt it aftwdz on Fes-bc. Bt y cn (or cd, bfr sośl distnsñ pt a stop t it) olso wōc a bit, n run a bit, n wōc a bit mor bfr gwñ t ɖ cafe fr cec; y cd brñ ɖ cidz, or ɖ dog, n stl rêz a cōṛs v s’portiv ẃūps n ćirz az y stagr ovr ɖ fiṇśñlîn last.

It z, az ɖe olwz sd at scūl bt nvr riyli mnt, ɖ tecñ part ɖt cǎnts. Ɖ hol ʈñ rmîndz m fondli v ǎr old ańl 5cm vilij funrun, ẃć wz so uncmpettiv ɖt ppl dd it wɖ pśćerz or in flip-flops, n acć̣li winñ wz cnsidrd a śêd tù trî-hard. In a rlentlisli gol-orientd wrld ẃr īvn hobiz sīm t cm wɖ pformnstargits ataćt, ɖr’z smʈñ vri rlaxñ abt biyñ pubḷcli n un’śemidli rubiś at smʈñ. It’s nt abt biyñ un’fred t fel – ɖ Americn f’loṣfi v siyñ mstecs az a nesṣri step in eni lrnñproses – so mć az riylîzñ ɖt in mor hymn indevrz ɖn w cer t admit, fełr itslf z a funḍmnṭli sili consept. Nt evrʈñ hz t b a rês, a comṗtiśn, yr ǒn prîṿt Hungrgemz.

Mî ǒn mînr locdǎn brecʈru wz riylîzñ ɖt yoga z’nt acć̣li mnt t b a cmpettiv sport. It’s nt abt hoṿrñ mizṛbli at ɖ bac v clasz fl v yumi-múmiz hu cn ef̣tlisli d ɖ splits, bt abt unrolñ a mat smẃr qayt n biyñ cntnt jst t streć ǎt ẃtvr wl cumftbli streć. Ɖ wn sevñ gres v biyñ wns agn cnfînd t baṛcs nǎ z ɖt nbdi ǎtsd cn juj yr fōlṭrñ ef̣ts t d a hedstand, or indd t cm p wɖ wîldli xîtñ yt edyceśnl activtiz t entten ɖ ćildṛn ʈru ɖ longist, dulist wintr on record. N f a tri fōlz in ɖ forist n nbdi hírz it, ɖen hu z t se ẃɖr ɖ lumbrjac z eni gd or nt?

Fr enwn hu struglz wɖ nagñ inr dīmnz, mnẃl, ɖr’z smʈñ cumf̣tñ at ɖ end v an xōstñ yir abt ɖ mesij ɖt jst dwñ yr bst (or īvn yr haf-arst secnd bst) wl d. Ɖs yir v ol yirz, I’d hv haṗli woćt sm mîndlis riaḷtiteli ɖt dd’nt acć̣li hv ɖ hart t cic enwn of bt instd jst let ol ɖ cntstnts ste t ɖ end, fōlñ evr mor mgnifisntli śort az ɖ wīcs wòr on n ɖ pestrićaḷnjz got mor pripostṛs.

Lîf dz’nt hv t b wn loñ, dspiṛtñ proses v riylîzñ ɖt y’r nvr gwñ t xel at smʈñ n śd ɖrfr probbli drop ǎt wɖ yr digṇti intact. It śd b fîn t dabl, t ambl, t b glorịsli n rlentlisli aṿrij at smʈñ; t d it wɖ no ptiklr end in sît, xpt ɖ cilñ v an afṭnun. Winñ at lîf, or strîvñ t, cn nvr bcm a substtyt fr acć̣li livñ it.

 

Instroduction to Ñspel

Last Updated on 20/11/2020 by Frank Johnson

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