Pajntri n absrdti abǎnd az ɖ Cñ cmz t Wsminstr
(Transcription of an article published in the Guardian on 12 September 2022)
Ɖ mor obsīqịs MPz n pirz baud n crtsid ẃl uɖrz jst injoid ɖ specṭcl
Jon Crês, Munde 12 Sptmbr 2022
Sêl on, O Śip v Stet! … Y’d hv ʈt ɖt Cñ Ćarlz wd hv wontd a litl dǎn tîm. A litl m tîm. A tîm t prîṿtli grīv hiz muɖr n t acustm himslf t hiz ny rǒl az hed v stet. Bt consttyśnl moṇci alǎz no rest. Ɖr r pṛsijrz n proṭcolz t b obzrvd. Prefṛbli wɖ az mć pajntri n absrdti az poṣbl. Brits lîc hisṭri t cm az costymdrama.
So on Munde mornñ ɖ ny soṿrin cem t Wsminstr Hōl t rsiv ɖ cndoḷnsz v bʈ hǎzz v parḷmnt n t mc hiz frst spīć t ɖm az Cñ. N, in fernis, f y’r gwñ t d ɖs sort v ʈñ, ɖr z nẃr betr t d it. Ɖ 900-yir-old hōl z jenyinli ō-inspîrñ – it mcs ɖ Comnz n ɖ Lordz lc tōdri – n hz bn a piṿtl sīn in Britiś dmocṛsi. Ǎr hisṭri hz groun p arnd it. Ɖ fizicl inṭsx́n v ɖ moṇci n ɖ ppl. It’s olso ẃr Ćarlz I wz traid. Ɖo ɖs probbli wz’nt ɖ de t brñ ɖt p.
Ɖ band v ɖ Royl Hǎshold Cavlri pleid ɖ Erisce Luvlilt az MPz n pirz md ɖer we t ɖer sīts. Īvn Jeṛmi Corbin wz ɖr, hvñ míst ɖ mītñ v ɖ axeśn caunsl on Saṭde dspt hvñ bn invîtd. Phps it hd bn a bizi de dǎn on ɖ alotmnt. Cir Starmr, Rećl Rīvz n Anɉla Rênr ol arîvd tgɖr; Liz Trus cem in alon, olmst uņotist.
Smwn wɖ a sns v hymr hd sītd T’rīza Me nxt t Boris Jonsn. Me pld hr hat dǎn ovr hr rît ir so ś cd’nt cać a glims v him bî axidnt n stydịsli ignord him. A crumpld n dsśevld Jonsn – h cd’nt īvn b boɖrd t mc an eḟt fr a stet oceźn lîc ɖs – hd t d wɖ mcñ smōl tōc wɖ Suela Braṿman. Ɖ śortist v śort strwz. Stl, b gretfl fr smōl mrsiz. At līst ɖ seriṃni tc ples bfr Jonsn hd bn gvn ɖ ćans t dmin it wɖ hiz reẓgneśn onrzlist.
Śortli bfr 10am, wn v ɖ dorṃn md a brīf hǎscīpñ’nǎnsmnt, endñ bî rjñ evrwn t injô ɖmslvz. Ɖo nt tù mć. Ɖen et Yomn v ɖ Gard wɖ jaynt spirz prosest p ɖ sntṛl ail, ɖer sprz ecowñ on ɖ ston florz, foloud bî a dsîdidli eldrli n sweti grūp v Jntlṃn at Armz in flopi hats. Onli in Britn. Nxt p wz ɖ Spīcrz’ pṛseśn, léd bî Lord McFōl, ɖ Spīcr in ɖ Lordz, n endñ wɖ Linzi Hôl.
Hvñ md it p t ɖ sǎʈ end v Wsminstr Hōl, ɖ Lord Gret Ćembrlin – hu invnts ɖz tîtlz? – scurid bac dǎn t ɖ uɖr end t mīt Cñ Ćarlz n Cmila, ɖ Qīnconsort. H hd a bit v a wêt az Ćarlz hd’nt īvn left Claṛns Hǎs. Prizyṃbli ɖ dle hd sm masiv consttyśnl sgnificns rɖr ɖn jst biyñ a fełr t sincṛnîz woćz.
Wns Ćarlz n Cmila wr in ples, bʈ spīcrz md ɖer adresz on bhaf v ɖer membrz. Ɖer vôsz brīfli bròt s bac t ɖ 21st snć̣ri. McFōl grù p in Dumbartn, ɖ sun v a certecr, n left scūl at 15: Hôl grù p in Lanc̣śr, ɖ sun v a Lebr MP, Dúg Hôl. Bʈ men xprest ɖer sadnis at ɖ deʈ v ɖ Qīn n hǎ dificlt it mst b fr ɖ ny cñ at sć a tîm. Bt ɖe olso tactḟli bt frmli artikletd ɖ xpcteśn ɖt Ćarlz śd trīt parḷmnt in ɖ sem we az hiz muɖr hd.
Hôl mnśnd ɖ seriṃni ɖ Qīn hd atndd in 1988 t seḷbret ɖ 300ʈ aṇvrsri v ɖ 1688 reṿluśn. It me hv sīmd od, h sd, t marc a reṿluśn wɖ an adres t ɖ Qīn, bt ɖoz reṿluśnz hd pṛtctd ɖ ppl’z liḅtiz n crietd a stebl moṇci. Cñ Ćarlz laft ōcẉdli. H dd’nt sīm intîrli śr f h hd bn gvn a welcm or a wornñ.
Ɖen it wz Ćarlz’z trn t rplî. H bgan bî qotñ Śecspir. Lîc ɖ uɖr Iliẓbʈ bfr hr, hiz muɖr wz a “patn t ol prinsz”. H wnt on t tōc abt ɖ fizicl marcs left on ɖ parḷmntri istet t seḷbret hr vizits t it ovr ɖ yirz. Ɖ súndayl; ɖ fǎntn; ɖ stend-glas windo. Hiz mesij wz clir. Ɖ Qīn hd noun hr ples. N h dd tù. Ɖ wil v parḷmnt wz paṛmǎnt. H wd’nt b rocñ ɖ bot.
Aftr a qc rendiśn v God Sev ɖ Cñ, ɖ seriṃni wz dn n dustd. Ol in wel undr haf an aur. Ɖ mor obsīqịs MPz n pirz baud n crtsid – Mîcl Gove wd hv pṛstretd himslf on ɖ flor f h hd bn gvn ɖ ćans – az ɖ royl parti md its we bac dǎn ɖ ail.
Uɖrz jst injoid ɖ specṭcl ẃl wunḍrñ ẃt ɖ hel it hd bn ol abt. Ɖ mśīṇri v consttyśnl moṇci in progres? Ɖ cntinyeśn v hundṛdz v yirz v hisṭri? Or jst a nîs de ǎt fr evrwn? T rmînd evrwn v ɖer plesz. Yr cōl.
