Fṛm Đ Gardịn │ Brexit’s Mr Pooter may not survive his dispute with Cummings

‘A litl misunḍstandñ’: Jonsn n Cumñz in Dǎnñ Strīt, 2019. Foṭgraf: Daniel Leal-Olivas/AFP/Geti Iṃjz

Brexit’s Mr Pūtr me nt svîv hiz dspyt wɖ Cumñz

(Transcription of a Guardian article of 2 May 2021)

Boris Jonsn n hiz formr eid r loct in a rleśnśp ɖt z stl hvñ daṃjñ consiqnsz fr ol v s

William Keegan

Wiłm Cīgn, 2 May 2021

Bfr h muvd on t lowr ʈñz, Boris Jonsn livd in ǎr nebrhd, jst of ɖ Hoḷwe Rod in Lundn’z Izlñtn. Anɖr feṃs Islñtońn hu livd of ɖ Hoḷwe Rod wz ɖ fix́nl Mr Pūtr, pṛtaġnist v ɖ Victorịn clasic Dayri v a Nbdi.

Mr. Pūtr’z wîf wz cōld Cári, n hiz clos nebr wnt bî ɖ nem v Cumñz, v hūm on wn oceźn Pūtr raits: “Cumñz n I hv a litl misunḍstandñ.”

Wel, in ɖ gret bc – ẃć I rec̣mnd t enwn hu z tîrd v “strīmñ” n, indd, v ɖs guvnmnt – Cári’z huzbnd n hiz frend Cumñz manij t gt ovr ɖer misunḍstandñ. Hvr, f ɖr z wn ʈñ srtn abt ɖ fōlǎt btwn ɖ Brexitrz v Dǎnñ Strīt, it z ɖt hel hʈ no fyri lîc a Cumñz scornd. It z obvịs ɖt ɖs episod z gwñ t end in tirz; n, az a betñman, I wd nt pt muni on Jonsn’z loñ-trm svîvl – nt līst on acǎnt v ɖ we ɖ f’renzic scilz v ǎr unḍesṭmetd līdr v ɖ opziśn, Cir Starmr, sīm t b cmñ intu ɖer ǒn.

Hvr, ɖr z inuf elsẃr on ɖ subjict v slīz inqîriz n ɖ stnc v c’rupśn ɖt prmiets ɖs guvnmnt. Jonsn n Cumñz me hv fōḷn ǎt, n Devid Camṛn me b p t hiz nec in hiz ǒn slīz inqîriz, bt ɖ foc̣s śd nt b tecn of ɖ imns damij ɖ ʈri v ɖm hv dn t ɖ Britiś icoṇmi, n t ɖ vạbiḷti v ẃt z stl cōld ɖ Ynîtd Cñdm v Gret Britn n Norɖn Îrḷnd.

Camṛn startd ɖ rot, nt jst bî bawñ t ɖ rzisṭbl preśr fr a reḟrendm fṛm ẃt Edẉd Hīʈ yst t cōl, in a dlîtḟli veṇṃs ton, Yroseptics; Camṛn olso wǒḟli mshandld ɖ reḟrendmcampen. Ɖ formr prezidnt v ɖ Yṛpiyn cmiśn, Jean-Claude Juncker, rīsntli rvild in an inṭvy ɖt, nwñ hǎ dstortd ɖ Britiś vy v “Yṛp” hd bcm az a rzult v a larjli Yroscepticl pres, h hd ofrd t xplen t ɖ public ɖ advantjz v ɖ YY n hǎ it riyli wrct.

It me sīm lîc poetic justis ɖt Jonsn n Cumñz hv fōḷn ǎt, bt ɖ ōfl truʈ z ɖt ɖe wún ɖ batl t dminiś ɖs cuntri

Camṛn evidntli trnd ɖs ofr dǎn flat, seyñ h himslf cd handl evrʈñ t pṛdys a sef rzult, wɖ ɖ rzult ɖt, in Juncker’z wrdz, “nwn tld ɖ Britiś public ẃt w agrìd on, se, ɖ fri muvmnt v wrcrz” in Camṛn’z prīreḟrendm ngośieśnz. I agri wɖ Juncker ɖt tù mni membrz v ɖ Britiś public wr “brenwośt” intu votñ Līv – nt v cors bî Camṛn, bt bî ɖ unholi alayns v ɖoz tū formr frendz, Jonsn n Cumñz.

W nǒ ẃt ɖt rzult wz, n w r trayñ t liv wɖ it. A wns gret neśn, huz foṛn poḷsi wz gird t impruvñ ǎr oṿsìz tred, voḷntṛli sînd p fr a hard Brexit, ẃć z hvñ ɖ rvrs ifct n hitñ xports badli. Fṛm ɖ reḟrendm rzult onẉdz, ɖ Britiś icoṇmi’z pformns wz infirịr t ɖt v ɖ rest v ɖ YY, n, nǎ ɖt w hv left, ʈñz r gwñ fṛm bad t wrs, az ol repytbl srvez śo.

Obvịsli ɖr z an ic̣nomic rcuṿri fṛm ɖ impact v s’xesiv locdǎnz on ǎtpt, n ɖ guvnmnt z mcñ ɖ most v ɖt fact. Bt biznis invstmnt hz bn fībl n ɖ ʈnctanc YC in a Ćenjñ Yṛp xpcts Brexit wl in tîm ǎtwei ɖ pandemic in its inhibtñ impact on groʈ.

Fr ɖ momnt ɖ obvịs caźlti z Norɖn Îrḷnd, huz guvnmnt, léd bî ɖ Deṃcratic Yńnist parti (DYP), wz – sori, I canot rzist ɖs – DYPt bî Jonsn.

Az ɖ YY’z ambasdr t ɖ YC sd in an inṭvy wɖ ɖ Insttyt v Guvnmnt last wīc, ɖ Norɖn Îrḷnd proṭcol z nt ɖ probḷm; “ɖ probḷm z Brexit”.

Bt it wz nt jst ɖ DYP hu wr dypt. Tù mni Ñgliś ppl wr dypt tù. It me sīm lîc poetic justis ɖt Jonsn n Cumñz hv fōḷn ǎt, bt ɖ ōfl truʈ z ɖt ɖe acć̣li wún ɖ batl t dminiś ɖs cuntri – wɖ noc-on ifcts fr ɖ YY itslf, huz līdrz nǒ ɖe beṇfitd fṛm ǎr membrśp.

Fir nt: w r tld ɖt ɖs z ɖ most dṛmatic rcuṿri sins 1948 – or z it 1066? Nt dificlt aftr ɖ bigist c’laps fr 200 yirz. Morovr, az Roḅt Ćǒt, formr d’rectr v ɖ Ofis fr Bujit Rsponsbiḷti, pônts ǎt, olɖo ɖr z a fīlñ ɖt ɖ guvnmnt śd b dvotñ a gretr śer v spendñ t public srṿsz, noṭbli hlʈ n sośl cer, “ɖ guvnmnt z cuṛntli pnṣlñ in lowr dīpartmntl spendñ ɖn it dd prīcrîsis”.

Leṿlñ p? Pl ɖ uɖr wn …

***

MOR ARTICLZ Fṛm Đ Gardịn

Instroduction to Ñspel

03/05/2021

Comments welcomed

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.