Clasics in Ñspel │ THE DIARY OF A NOBODY │ George and Weedon Grossmith

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ĆAPTRZ

INTROIIIIIIIVVVIVIIVIIIIXXXIXIIXIIIXIVXVXVIXVIIXVIIIXIXXXXXIXXIIXXIIILAST

INTṚDUX́N BÎ MR. PŪTR

Ẃ śd I nt publiś mî dayri? I hv ofn sìn reṃnisnsz v ppl I hv nvr īvn hŕd v, n I fel t sibcz I d nt hapn t b aSmbdi’ – ẃ mî dayri śd nt b inṭrestñ. Mî onli rgret z ɖt I dd nt cmns it ẃn I wz a yʈ.

Ćarlz Pūtr.

Ɖ Loṛlz,

Bricfīld Teris,

Hoḷwe.

ĆAPTR I

W setl dǎn in ǎr ny hom, n I rzolv t cīp a dayri. Tredzṃn trubl s a bit, so dz ɖ screpr. Ɖ kṛt cōlz n pez m a gret complimnt.

Mî dir wîf Cári n I hv jst bn a wīc in ǎr ny hǎs, “Ɖ Loṛlz,” Bricfīld Teris, Hoḷwe – a nîs six-rūmd rezidns, nt cǎntñ besmnt, wɖ a frunt brecfstparlr. W hv a litl fruntgardn; n ɖr z a flît v ten steps p t ɖ fruntdor, ẃć, bî-ɖ-bî, w cīp loct wɖ ɖ ćen p. Cumñz, Gowñ, n ǎr uɖr intiṃt frendz olwz cm t ɖ litl sîd-entṛns, ẃć sevz ɖ srvnt ɖ trubl v gwñ p t ɖ fruntdor, ɖrbî tecñ hr fṛm hr wrc. W hv a nîs litl bacgardn ẃć runz dǎn t ɖ relwe. W wr rɖr afreid v ɖ nôz v ɖ trenz at frst, bt ɖ landlord sd w śd nt notis ɖm aftr a bit, n tc £2 of ɖ rent. H wz srtnli rît; n bynd ɖ cracñ v ɖ gardnwōl at ɖ botm, w hv sufrd no incnvińns.

“Đ Loṛlz”
“Đ Loṛlz”
Aftr mî wrc in ɖ Siti, I lîc t b at hom. Ẃt’s ɖ gd v a hom, f y r nvr in it? “Hom, Swīt Hom,” ɖt’s mî moto. I am olwz in v an īvnñ. Ǎr old frend Gowñ me drop in wɖt seriṃni; so me Cumñz, hu livz oṗzit. Mî dir wîf Caṛlîn n I r plizd t si ɖm, f ɖe lîc t drop in on s. Bt Cári n I cn manij t pas ǎr īvnñz tgɖr wɖt frendz. Ɖr z olwz smʈñ t b dn: a tintac hir, a Vnīśn blînd t pt stret, a fan t nêl p, or part v a carpit t nêl dǎn – ol v ẃć I cn d wɖ mî pîp in mî mǎʈ; ẃl Cári z nt abv ptñ a butn on a śrt, mndñ a piloces, or pracṭsñ ɖ “Silvia Gvót” on ǎr ny cotijpiano (on ɖ ʈri yirz’ sistm), mańfacćrd bî W. Bilcsn (in smōl letrz), fṛm Colard n Colard (in vri larj letrz). It z olso a gret cumf̣t t s t nǒ ɖt ǎr bô Wili z gtñ on so wel in ɖ Banc at Oldm. W śd lîc t si mor v him. Nǎ fr mî dayri: –

 

Epril 3. – Tredzṃn cōld fr custm, n I promist Farṃsn, ɖ aynmungr, t gv him a trn f I wontd eni nêlz or tūlz. Bî-ɖ-bî, ɖt rmîndz m ɖr z no ci t ǎr bedrūm dor, n ɖ belz mst b sìn t. Ɖ parlrbel z brocn, n ɖ fruntdor rñz p in ɖ srvnt’s bedrūm, ẃć z r’dikḷs. Dir frend Gowñ dropt in, bt wd’nt ste, seyñ ɖr wz an infrṇl smel v pent.

Our dear friend Gowing
Ǎr dir frend Gowñ

Epril 4. – Tredzṃn stl cōlñ; Cári biyñ ǎt, I arenjd t dīl wɖ Horwin, hu sīmd a sivl bćr wɖ a nîs clīn śop. Ordrd a śoldr v mutn fr tmoro, t gv him a trîl. Cári arenjd wɖ Borsit, ɖ butrmn, n ordrd a pǎnd v freś butr, n a pǎnd n a haf v sōlt dito fr cićn, n a śilñ’z wrʈ v egz. In ɖ īvnñ, Cumñz unixpctidli dropt in t śo m a mirśōm pîp h hd wún in a rafl in ɖ Siti, n tld m t handl it cerf̣li, az it wd spôl ɖ cuḷrñ f ɖ hand wz môst. H sd h wd’nt ste, az h dd’nt cer mć fr ɖ smel v ɖ pent, n fél ovr ɖ screpr az h wnt ǎt. Mst gt ɖ screpr rmuvd, or els I śl gt intu a screp. I d’nt ofn mc jocs.

Our dear friend Cummings
Ǎr dir frend Cumñz

Epril 5. – Tū śoldrz v mutn arîvd, Cári hvñ arenjd wɖ anɖr bćr wɖt cnsultñ m. Gowñ cōld, n fél ovr screpr cmñ in. Mst gt ɖt screpr rmuvd.

Epril 6. – Egz fr brecfst simpli śocñ; snt ɖm bac t Borsit wɖ mî complimnts, n h nīd’nt cōl eni mor fr ordrz. Cd’nt fînd umbrela, n ɖo it wz porñ wɖ ren, hd t g wɖt it. Sẹra sd Mr. Gowñ mst hv tc it bî mstec last nît, az ɖr wz a stic in ɖ ’ōl ɖt dd’nt b’loñ t nbdi. In ɖ īvnñ, hírñ smwn tōcñ in a lǎd vôs t ɖ srvnt in ɖ dǎnsterzhōl, I wnt ǎt t si hu it wz, n wz s’prîzd t fînd it wz Borsit, ɖ butrmn, hu wz bʈ drunc n ofnsiv. Borsit, on siyñ m, sd h wd b hañd f h wd evr srv siticlarcs eni mor – ɖ gem wz’nt wrʈ ɖ candl. I rstrend mî fīlñz, n qaytli rmarct ɖt I ʈt it wz poṣbl fr a siticlarc t b a jntlmn. H rplaid h wz vri glad t hír it, n wontd t nǒ ẃɖr I hd evr cm acrs wn, fr h hd’nt. H left ɖ hǎs, slamñ ɖ dor aftr him, ẃć nirli brouc ɖ fanlît; n I hŕd him fōl ovr ɖ screpr, ẃć md m fīl glad I hd’nt rmuvd it. Ẃn h hd gn, I ʈt v a splendid ansr I òt t hv gvn him. Hvr, I wl cīp it fr anɖr oceźn.

Epril 7. – Biyñ Saṭde, I lct fwd t biyñ hom rli, n ptñ a fy ʈñz stret; bt tū v ǎr prinsiplz at ɖ ofis wr absnt ʈru ilnis, n I dd nt gt hom tl sevn. Faund Borsit wêtñ. H hd bn ʈri tîmz jrñ ɖ de t apoḷjîz fr hiz conduct last nît. H sd h wz unebl t tec hiz Banchoḷde last Munde, n tc it last nît instd. H begd m t axpt hiz apoḷji, n a pǎnd v freś butr. H sīmz, aftr ol, a dīsnt sort v felo; so I gev him an ordr fr sm freś egz, wɖ a rqst ɖt on ɖs oceźn ɖe śd b freś. I am afreid w śl hv t gt sm ny stercarpits aftr ol; ǎr old wnz r nt qt wîd inuf t mīt ɖ pent on îɖr sîd. Cári sjsts ɖt w mt ǎrslvz brōdn ɖ pent. I wl si f w cn mać ɖ culr (darc ćocḷt) on Munde.

Epril 8, Súnde. – Aftr ćrć, ɖ kṛt cem bac wɖ s. I snt Cári in t opn fruntdor, ẃć w d nt yz xpt on speśl oceźnz. Ś cd nt gt it opn, n aftr ol mî dsple, I hd t tec ɖ kṛt (huz nem, bî-ɖ-bî, I dd nt cać,) rnd ɖ sîd entṛns. H còt hiz ft in ɖ screpr, n tòr ɖ botm v hiz trǎzrz. Most anoyñ, az Cári cd nt wel ofr t rper ɖm on a Súnde. Aftr dinr, wnt t slīp. Tc a wōc rnd ɖ gardn, n dscuvrd a bytifl spot fr sǒwñ musṭd-n-cres n raḍśz. Wnt t ćrć agn in ɖ īvnñ: wōct bac wɖ ɖ kṛt. Cári notist h hd got on ɖ sem per v trǎzrz, onli rperd. H wonts m t tec rnd ɖ plet, ẃć I ʈnc a gret complimnt.

ĆAPTR II

Tredzṃn n ɖ screpr stl trublsm. Gowñ rɖr tîrsm wɖ hiz cmplents v ɖ pent. I mc wn v ɖ bst jocs v mî lîf. Dlîts v Garḍnñ. Mr. Stilbrŭc, Gowñ, Cumñz, n I hv a litl misunḍstandñ. Sẹra mcs m lc a fūl bfr Cumñz.

Epril 9. – Cmnst ɖ mornñ badli. Ɖ bćr, hūm w dsîdd nt t arenj wɖ, cōld n blagardd m in ɖ most uncōld-fr manr. H bgan bî abyzñ m, n seyñ h dd nt wont mî custm. I simpli sd: “Ɖen ẃt r y mcñ ol ɖs fus abt it fr?” N h śǎtd ǎt at ɖ top v hiz vôs, so ɖt ol ɖ nebrz cd hír: “Pā! g alñ. Ug! I cd bai p ‘ʈñz’ lîc y bî ɖ duzn!”

I śut ɖ dor, n wz gvñ Cári t unḍstand ɖt ɖs dsgresfl sīn wz intîrli hr fōlt, ẃn ɖr wz a vayḷnt cicñ at ɖ dor, inuf t brec ɖ panlz. It wz ɖ blagard bćr agn, hu sd h hd cut hiz ft ovr ɖ screpr, n wd imīɉtli brñ an ax́n agnst m. Cōld at Farṃsn’z, ɖ aynmungr, on mî we t tǎn, n gev him ɖ job v muvñ ɖ screpr n rperñ ɖ belz, ʈncñ it scersli wrʈ ẃl t trubl ɖ landlord wɖ sć a trîf̣lñ matr.

Arîvd hom tîrd n wurid. Mr. Putli, a pentr n dec̣retr, hu hd snt in a card, sd h cd nt mać ɖ culr on ɖ sterz, az it cntend Indịn carmîn. H sd h spent haf-a-de cōlñ at wérhǎzz t si f h cd gt it. H sjstd h śd intîrli rīpent ɖ sterz. It wd cost vri litl mor; f h traid t mać it, h cd onli mc a bad job v it. It wd b mor saṭsfactri t him n t s t hv ɖ wrc dn proprli. I cnsntd, bt flt I hd bn tōct ovr. Plantd sm musṭd-n-cres n raḍśz, n wnt t bed at nîn.

Epril 10. – Farṃsn cem rnd t atnd t ɖ screpr himslf. H sīmz a vri sivl felo. H sz h dz nt yẓ́li cnduct sć smōl jobz prsṇli, bt fr m h wd d so. I ʈanct him, n wnt t tǎn. It z dsgresfl hǎ lêt sm v ɖ yuñ clarcs r at arîvñ. I tld ʈri v ɖm ɖt f Mr. Prcup, ɖ prinsipl, hŕd v it, ɖe mt b dsćarjd.

Pít, a munci v sevntīn, hu hz onli bn wɖ s six wīcs, tld m “t cīp mî her on!” I informd him I hd hd ɖ onr v biyñ in ɖ frm twenti yirz, t ẃć h inṣḷntli rplaid ɖt I “lct it.” I gev him an indignnt lc, n sd: “I dmand fṛm y sm rspct, sr.” H rplaid: “Ol rît, g on dmandñ.” I wd nt argy wɖ him eni frɖr. Y canot argy wɖ ppl lîc ɖt. In ɖ īvnñ Gowñ cōld, n rpitd hiz cmplent abt ɖ smel v pent. Gowñ z smtmz vri tīdịs wɖ hiz rmarcs, n nt olwz cōśs; n Cári wns vri proprli rmîndd him ɖt ś wz preznt.

Epril 11. – Musṭd-n-cres n raḍśz nt cm p yt. Tde wz a de v anoynsz. I míst ɖ qortr-t-nîn ’bus t ɖ Siti, ʈru hvñ wrdz wɖ ɖ grosr’z bô, hu fr ɖ secnd tîm hd ɖ imprtinns t brñ hiz bascit t ɖ hōldor, n hd left ɖ marcs v hiz drti būts on ɖ freś-clīnd dorsteps. H sd h hd noct at ɖ sîḑor wɖ hiz nuclz fr a qortr v an aur. I ń Sẹra, ǎr srvnt, cd nt hír ɖs, az ś wz upsterz dwñ ɖ bedrūmz, so asct ɖ bô ẃ h dd nt rñ ɖ bel? H rplaid ɖt h dd pl ɖ bel, bt ɖ handl cem of in hiz hand.

I wz haf-an-aur lêt at ɖ ofis, a ʈñ ɖt hz nvr hapnd t m bfr. Ɖr hz rīsntli bn mć ireğlaṛti in ɖ atndns v ɖ clarcs, n Mr. Prcup, ǎr prinsipl, unforćṇtli ćouz ɖs vri mornñ t pǎns dǎn upn s rli. Smwn hd gvn ɖ tip t ɖ uɖrz. Ɖ rzult wz ɖt I wz ɖ onli wn lêt v ɖ lot. Buclñ, wn v ɖ sīńr clarcs, wz a bric, n I wz sevd bî hiz inṭvnśn. Az I pást bî Pít’s dsc, I hŕd him rmarc t hiz nebr: “Hǎ dsgresf̣li lêt sm v ɖ hed clarcs arîv!” Ɖs wz, v cors, mnt fr m. I trītd ɖ obẓveśn wɖ sîḷns, simpli gvñ him a lc, ẃć unforćṇtli hd ɖ ifct v mcñ bʈ v ɖ clarcs laf. Ʈt aftwdz it wd hv bn mor digṇfaid f I hd pritndd nt t hv hŕd him at ol. Cumñz cōld in ɖ īvnñ, n w pleid doṃnoz.

Epril 12. – Musṭd-n-cres n raḍśz nt cm p yt. Left Farṃsn rperñ ɖ screpr, bt ẃn I cem hom faund ʈri men wrcñ. I asct ɖ mīnñ v it, n Farṃsn sd ɖt in mcñ a freś houl h hd peṇtretd ɖ gaspîp. H sd it wz a most r’dikḷs ples t pt ɖ gaspîp, n ɖ man hu dd it evidntli ń nʈñ abt hiz biznis. I flt hiz xks wz no conṣleśn fr ɖ xpns I śl b pt t.

In ɖ īvnñ, aftr ti, Gowñ dropt in, n w hd a smoc tgɖr in ɖ brecfstparlr. Cári jônd s lêtr, bt dd nt ste loñ, seyñ ɖ smoc wz tù mć fr hr. It wz olso rɖr tù mć fr m, fr Gowñ hd gvn m ẃt h cōld a grīn sgar, wn ɖt hiz frend Śūmac hd jst bròt ovr fṛm America. Ɖ sgar dd’nt lc grīn, bt I fansi I mst hv dn so; fr ẃn I hd smoct a litl mor ɖn haf I wz oblîjd t rtîr on ɖ prītxt v telñ Sẹra t brñ in ɖ glasz.I tc a wōc rnd ɖ gardn ʈri or for tîmz, fīlñ ɖ nīd v freś er. On rtrnñ Gowñ notist I wz nt smocñ: ofrd m anɖr sgar, ẃć I p’lîtli dclînd. Gowñ bgan hiz yźl snifñ, so, antiṣpetñ him, I sd: “Y’r nt gwñ t cmplen v ɖ smel v pent agn?” H sd: “No, nt ɖs tîm; bt I’l tel y ẃt, I dstñtli smel drî rot.” I d’nt ofn mc jocs, bt I rplaid: “Y’r tōcñ a lot v drî rot yrslf.” I cd nt hlp rorñ at ɖs, n Cári sd hr sîdz qt ect wɖ laftr. I nvr wz so imnsli ticld bî enʈñ I hv evr sd bfr. I acć̣li wouc p twîs jrñ ɖ nît, n laft tl ɖ bed śc.

Epril 13. – An xtrordnri cǒinsidns: Cári hd cōld in a wmn t mc sm ćins cuvrz fr ǎr drw̃rūm ćerz n sofa t privnt ɖ sún fedñ ɖ grīn rep v ɖ frnićr. I sw ɖ wmn, n rec̣gnîzd hr az a wmn hu yst t wrc yirz ago fr mî old ānt at Clapm. It onli śoz hǎ smōl ɖ wrld z.

Epril 14. – Spent ɖ hol v ɖ afṭnun in ɖ gardn, hvñ ɖs mornñ pict p at a bcstōl fr fîvpns a capitl litl bc, in gd cndiśn, on Garḍnñ. I pṛkrd n sóud sm haf-hardi ańlz in ẃt I fansi wl b a worm, súni bordr. I ʈt v a joc, n cōld ǎt Cári. Cári cem ǎt rɖr tsti, I ʈt. I sd: “I hv jst dscuvrd w hv got a lojñhǎs.” Ś rplaid: “Hǎ d y mīn?” I sd: “Lc at ɖ bōrdrz.” Cári sd: “Z ɖt ol y wontd m fr?” I sd: “Eni uɖr tîm y wd hv laft at mî litl plezntri.” Cári sd: “Srtnli – at eni uɖr tîm, bt nt ẃn I am bizi in ɖ hǎs.” Ɖ sterz lct vri nîs. Gowñ cōld, n sd ɖ sterz lct ol rît, bt it md ɖ banistrz lc ol roñ, n sjstd a cot v pent on ɖm olso, ẃć Cári qt agrìd wɖ. I wōct rnd t Putli, n forćṇtli h wz ǎt, so I hd a gd xks t let ɖ banistrz slîd. Bî-ɖ-bî, ɖt z rɖr funi.

Epril 15, Súnde. – At ʈri o’cloc Cumñz n Gowñ cōld fr a gd loñ wōc ovr Hamstid n Finćli, n bròt wɖ ɖm a frend nemd Stilbrŭc. W wōct n ćatd tgɖr, xpt Stilbrŭc, hu wz olwz a fy yardz bhnd s stẹrñ at ɖ grǎnd n cutñ at ɖ gras wɖ hiz stic.

Stillbrook lags behind. Gowing uphill.
Stilbrŭc lagz bhnd. Gwñ uphil.
Going downhill
Gwñ dǎnhil
Nearly there
Nirli ɖr

Az it wz gtñ on fr fîv, w for hld a conslteśn, n Gowñ sjstd ɖt w śd mc fr “Ɖ Cǎ & Hej” n gt sm ti. Stilbrŭc sd: “A brandi-n-soda wz gd inuf fr him.” I rmîndd ɖm ɖt ol publichǎzz wr clozd tl six o’cloc. Stilbrŭc sd, “Ɖt’s ol rît – bona-fide travlrz.”W arîvd; n az I wz trayñ t pas, ɖ man in ćarj v ɖ get sd: “Ẃr fṛm?” I rplaid: “Hoḷwe.” H imīɉtli pt p hiz arm, n dclînd t let m pas. I trnd bac fr a momnt, ẃn I sw Stilbrŭc, closli foloud bî Cumñz n Gowñ, mc fr ɖ entṛns. I woćt ɖm, n ʈt I wd hv a gd laf at ɖer xpns, I hŕd ɖ portr se: “Ẃr fṛm?” Ẃn, t mî s’prîz, in fact dsgust, Stilbrŭc rplaid: “Blachīʈ,” n ɖ ʈri wr imīɉtli admitd.

Gowñ cōld t m acrs ɖ get, n sd: “W ś’nt b a minit.” I wêtd fr ɖm ɖ bst part v an aur. Ẃn ɖe apird ɖe wr ol in most xḷnt spirits, n ɖ onli wn hu md an ef̣t t apoḷjîz wz Mr. Stilbrŭc, hu sd t m: “It wz vri ruf on y t b cept wêtñ, bt w hd anɖr spin fr S. n B.’s.” I wōct hom in sîḷns; I cd’nt spīc t ɖm. I flt vri dul ol ɖ īvnñ, bt dīmd it advîẓbl nt t se enʈñ t Cári abt ɖ matr.

Epril 16. – Aftr biznis, set t wrc in ɖ gardn. Ẃn it got darc I rout t Cumñz n Gowñ (hu nɖr cōld, fr a wundr; phps ɖe wr aśemd v ɖmslvz) abt yesṭde’z advnćr at “Ɖ Cǎ & Hej.” Aftwdz md p mî mînd nt t rait yt.

Epril 17. – Ʈt I wd rait a cînd litl not t Gowñ n Cumñz abt last Súnde, n wornñ ɖm agnst Mr. Stilbrŭc. Aftwdz, ʈncñ ɖ matr ovr, tòr p ɖ letrz n dtrmind nt t rait at ol, bt t spīc qaytli t ɖm. Dumfǎndd at rsivñ a śarp letr fṛm Cumñz, seyñ ɖt bʈ h n Gowñ hd bn wêtñ fr an xpḷneśn v (mînd y, mî) xtrordnri conduct cmñ hom on Súnde. At last I rout: “I ʈt I wz ɖ agrivd parti; bt az I frīli fgiv y, y – fīlñ yrslf agrivd – śd bsto fgivnis on m.” I hv copid ɖs vbetim in ɖ dayri, bcz I ʈnc it z wn v ɖ most prfict n ʈtfl sntnsz I hv evr ritn. I postd ɖ letr, bt in mî ǒn hart I flt I wz acć̣li apoḷjîzñ fr hvñ bn insultd.

Epril 18. – Am in fr a cold. Spent ɖ hol de at ɖ ofis snizñ. In ɖ īvnñ, ɖ cold biyñ intolṛbl, snt Sẹra ǎt fr a botl v Ciṇhn. Fél aslip in ɖ armćer, n wouc wɖ ɖ śivrz. Wz startld bî a lǎd noc at ɖ fruntdor. Cári ōf̣li flurid. Sẹra stl ǎt, so wnt p, opnd ɖ dor, n faund it wz onli Cumñz. Rmembrd ɖ grosr’z bô hd agn brocn ɖ sîdbel. Cumñz sqizd mî hand, n sd: “I’v jst sìn Gowñ. Ol rît. Se no mor abt it.” Ɖr z no dǎt ɖe r bʈ undr ɖ impreśn I hv apoḷjîzd.

Ẃl pleyñ doṃnoz wɖ Cumñz in ɖ parlr, h sd: “Bî-ɖ-bî, d y wont eni wîn or spirits? Mî cuzn Mrtn hz jst set p in ɖ tred, n hz a splendid ẃisci, for yirz in botl, at ʈrti-et śilñz. It z wrʈ yr ẃl leyñ dǎn a fy duzn v it.” I tld him mî sélrz, ẃć wr vri smōl, wr fl p. T mî horr, at ɖt vri momnt, Sẹra entrd ɖ rūm, n ptñ a botl v ẃisci, rápt in a drti pìs v nyzpepr, on ɖ tebl in frunt v s, sd: “Plīz, sr, ɖ grosr sz h e’nt got no mor Ciṇhn, bt y’l fînd ɖs vri gd at tū-n-six, wɖ tupns rtrnd on ɖ botl; n, plīz, dd y wont eni mor śeri? az h hz sm at wn-n-ʈri, az drî az a nut!”
"Please, sir, the grocer says he ain't got no more Kinahan, but you'll find this very good at two-and-six."
“Plīz, sr, ɖ grosr sz h e’nt got no mor Ciṇhn, bt y’l fînd ɖs vri gd at tū-n-six.”

ĆAPTR III

A convseśn wɖ Mr. Mrtn on Ssayti. Mr. n Msz. Jemz, v Sutn, cm p. A mizṛbl īvnñ at ɖ Tanc Ʈiytr. Xperimnts wɖ inaml pent. I mc anɖr gd joc; bt Gowñ n Cumñz r uņessṛli ofndd. I pent ɖ baʈ red, wɖ unixpctd rzult.

Epril 19. – Cumñz cōld, brññ wɖ him hiz frend Mrtn, hu z in ɖ wîntred. Gowñ olso cōld. Mr. Mrtn md himslf at hom at wns, n Cári n I wr bʈ struc wɖ him imīɉtli, n ʈuṛli apruvd v hiz sntimnts.

H līnd bac in hiz ćer n sd: “Y mst tec m az I am;” n I rplaid: “Yes – n y mst tec s az w r. W’r homli ppl, w r nt swelz.”H ansrd: “No, I cn si ɖt,” n Gowñ rord wɖ laftr; bt Mrtn in a most jntlmnli manr sd t Gowñ: “I d’nt ʈnc y qt unḍstand m. I intndd t cnve ɖt ǎr ćarmñ host n hostes wr s’pirịr t ɖ foliz v faśn, n prifŕd līdñ a simpl n holsm lîf t gadñ abt t tuṗni-heṗni tīdrincñ afṭnunz, n livñ abv ɖer incumz.”

I wz imnsli plizd wɖ ɖz snṣbl rmarcs v Mrtn’z, n cncludd ɖt subjict bî seyñ: “No, candidli, Mr. Mrtn, w d’nt g intu Ssayti, bcz w d nt cer fr it; n ẃt wɖ ɖ xpns v cabz hir n cabz ɖr, n ẃît gluvz n ẃît tîz, ets., it dz’nt sīm wrʈ ɖ muni.”

Mrtn sd in refṛns t frendz: “Mî moto z ‘Fy n Tru;’ n, bî ɖ we, I olso aplî ɖt t wîn, ‘Litl n Gd.’” Gowñ sd: “Yes, n smtmz ‘ćīp n testi,’ ê, old man?” Mrtn, stl cntinywñ, sd h śd trīt m az a frend, n pt m dǎn fr a duzn v hiz “Loc̣nbar” ẃisci, n az I wz an old frend v Gowñ, I śd hv it fr 36ś., ẃć wz cnsidṛbli undr ẃt h peid fr it.

H bct hiz ǒn ordr, n frɖr sd ɖt at eni tîm I wontd eni pasz fr ɖ ʈiytr I wz t let him nǒ, az hiz nem std gd fr eni ʈiytr in Lundn.

Epril 20. – Cári rmîndd m ɖt az hr old scūlfrend, Ani Fŭlrz (nǎ Msz. Jemz), n hr huzbnd hd cm p fṛm Sutn fr a fy dez, it wd lc cînd t tec ɖm t ɖ ʈiytr, n wd I drop a lîn t Mr. Mrtn ascñ him fr pasz fr for, îɖr fr ɖ Itałn Oṗra, Heimarcit, Svô, or Līseym. I rout Mrtn t ɖt ifct.

Epril 21. – Got a rplî fṛm Mrtn, seyñ h wz vri bizi, n jst at preznt cd’nt manij pasz fr ɖ Itałn Oṗra, Heimarcit, Svô, or Līseym, bt ɖ bst ʈñ gwñ on in Lundn wz ɖ Brǎn Bśz, at ɖ Tanc Ʈiytr, Izlñtn, n inclozd sīts fr for; olso bil fr ẃisci.

Epril 23. – Mr. n Msz. Jemz (Mis Fŭlrz ɖt wz) cem t mìt ti, n w left d’recli aftr fr ɖ Tanc Ʈiytr. W got a ’bus ɖt tc s t Cñ’z Cros, n ɖen ćenjd intu wn ɖt tc s t ɖ “Enjl.” Mr. Jemz ć tîm insistd on peyñ fr ol, seyñ ɖt I hd peid fr ɖ ticits n ɖt wz qt inuf.

W arîvd at ʈiytr, ẃr, krịsli inuf, ol ǎr ’buslod xpt an old wmn wɖ a bascit sīmd t b gwñ in. I wōct ahd n prizntd ɖ ticits. Ɖ man lct at ɖm, n cōld ǎt: “Mr. Wiloli! d y nǒ enʈñ abt ɖz?” holdñ p mî ticits. Ɖ jntlmn cōld t, cem p n xamind mî ticits, n sd: “Hu gev y ɖz?” I sd, rɖr indignntli: “Mr. Mrtn, v cors.” H sd: “Mrtn? Hu’z h?” I ansrd, rɖr śarpli: “Y òt t nǒ, hiz nem’z gd at eni ʈiytr in Lundn.” H rplaid: “Ǒ! z it? Wel, it e’nt no gd hir. Ɖz ticits, ẃć r nt detd, wr iśùd undr Mr. Swinsted’z manijmnt, ẃć hz sins ćenjd handz.” Ẃl I wz hvñ sm vri unpleznt wrdz wɖ ɖ man, Jemz, hu hd gn upsterz wɖ ɖ lediz, cōld ǎt: “Cm on!” I wnt p aftr ɖm, n a vri sivl atndnt sd: “Ɖs we, plīz, box H.” I sd t Jemz: “Ẃ, hǎ on rʈ dd y manij it?” n t mî horr h rplaid: “Ẃ, peid fr it v cors.”Ɖs wz hymilietñ inuf, n I cd scersli folo ɖ ple, bt I wz dūmd t stl frɖr hymilieśn. I wz līnñ ǎt v ɖ box, ẃn mî tî – a litl blac bo ẃć fasnd on t ɖ stud bî mīnz v a ny petnt – fél intu ɖ pit b’lo. A clumzi man nt noṭsñ it, hd hiz ft on it fr evr so loñ bfr h dscuvrd it. H ɖen pict it p n ivnć̣li fluñ it undr ɖ nxt sīt in dsgust. Ẃt wɖ ɖ box-insidnt n ɖ tî, I flt qt mizṛbl. Mr. Jemz, v Sutn, wz vri gd. H sd: “D’nt wuri – nwn wl notis it wɖ yr bird. Ɖt z ɖ onli advantij v growñ wn ɖt I cn si.” Ɖr wz no oceźn fr ɖt rmarc, fr Cári z vri prǎd v mî bird.

T hîd ɖ absns v ɖ tî I hd t cīp mî ćin dǎn ɖ rest v ɖ īvnñ, ẃć cōzd a pen at ɖ bac v mî nec.

Epril 24. – Cd scersli slīp a wnc ʈru ʈncñ v hvñ bròt p Mr. n Msz. Jemz fṛm ɖ cuntri t g t ɖ ʈiytr last nît, n hiz hvñ peid fr a prîṿt box bcz ǎr ordr wz nt onrd, n sć a pur ple tù. I rout a vri s’tiricl letr t Mrtn, ɖ wînmrćnt, hu gev s ɖ pas, n sd, “Cnsiḍrñ w hd t pe fr ǎr sīts, w dd ǎr bst t aprīśiet ɖ pformns.” I ʈt ɖs lîn rɖr cutñ, n I asct Cári hǎ mni p’z ɖr wr in aprīśiet, n ś sd, “Wn.” Aftr I snt of ɖ letr I lct at ɖ dix́nri n faund ɖr wr tū. Ōf̣li vxt at ɖs.

Dsîdd nt t wuri mslf eni mor abt ɖ Jemz’z; fr, az Cári wîzli sd, “W’l mc it ol rît wɖ ɖm bî ascñ ɖm p fṛm Sutn wn īvnñ nxt wīc t ple at Bzīc.”

Epril 25. – In consiqns v Bricwel telñ m hiz wîf wz wrcñ wundrz wɖ ɖ ny Pncf̣d’z inaml pent, I dtrmind t trî it. I bòt tū tinz v red on mî we hom. I hesnd ʈru ti, wnt intu ɖ gardn n pentd sm flǎrpots. I cōld ǎt Cári, hu sd: “Y’v olwz got sm ny-fangld crêz;” bt ś wz oblîjd t admit ɖt ɖ flǎrpots lct rmarcbli wel. Wnt upsterz intu ɖ srvnt’s bedrūm n pentd hr wośstand, tǎlhors, n ćst v drorz. T mî mînd it wz an xtrordnri impruvmnt, bt az an xampl v ɖ ignṛns v ɖ lowr clasz in ɖ matr v test, ǎr srvnt, Sẹra, on siyñ ɖm, ivinst no sîn v pleźr, bt mirli sd “ś ʈt ɖe lct vri wel az ɖe wz bfr.”

I painted the washstand in the servant's bedroom.
I pentd ɖ wośstand in ɖ srvnt’s bedrūm.

Epril 26. – Got sm mor red inaml pent (red, t mî mînd, biyñ ɖ bst culr), n pentd ɖ colscutl, n ɖ bacs v ǎr Śecspir, ɖ bîndñ v ẃć hd olmst wòrn ǎt.

Epril 27. – Pentd ɖ baʈ red, n wz dlîtd wɖ ɖ rzult. Sori t se Cári wz nt, in fact w hd a fy wrdz abt it. Ś sd I òt t hv cnsultd hr, n ś hd nvr hŕd v sć a ʈñ az a baʈ biyñ pentd red. I rplaid: “It’s mirli a matr v test.”

Forćṇtli, frɖr arğmnt on ɖ subjict wz stopt bî a vôs seyñ, “Me I cm in?” It wz onli Cumñz, hu sd, “Yr meid opnd ɖ dor, n asct m t xkz hr śowñ m in, az ś wz riññ ǎt sm socs.” I wz dlîtd t si him, n sjstd w śd hv a gem v ẃist wɖ a dumi, n bî we v merimnt sd: “Y cn b ɖ dumi.” Cumñz (I ʈt rɖr il-nećrdli) rplaid: “Funi az yźl.” H sd h cd’nt stop, h onli cōld t līv m ɖ Bîsicl Nyz, az h hd dn wɖ it.Anɖr rñ at ɖ bel; it wz Gowñ, hu sd h “mst apoḷjîz fr cmñ so ofn, n ɖt wn v ɖz dez w mst cm rnd t him.” I sd: “A vri xtrordnri ʈñ hz struc m.” “Smʈñ funi, az yźl,” sd Cumñz. “Yes,” I rplaid; “I ʈnc īvn y wl se so ɖs tîm. It’s cnsrnñ y bʈ; fr dz’nt it sīm od ɖt Gowñ’z olwz cmñ n Cumñz olwz gwñ?” Cári, hu hd evidntli qt fgotn abt ɖ baʈ, wnt intu fits v laftr, n az fr mslf, I ferli dubld p in mî ćer, tl it cract bnʈ m. I ʈnc ɖs wz wn v ɖ bst jocs I hv evr md.

Ɖen imajin mî astoniśmnt on psivñ bʈ Cumñz n Gowñ prf̣cli sîḷnt, n wɖt a smîl on ɖer fesz. Aftr rɖr an unpleznt pōz, Cumñz, hu hd opnd a sgarces, clozd it p agn n sd: “Yes – I ʈnc, aftr ɖt, I śl b gwñ, n I am sori I fel t si ɖ fun v yr jocs.” Gowñ sd h dd’nt mînd a joc ẃn it wz’nt rūd, bt a pun on a nem, t hiz ʈncñ, wz srtnli a litl wontñ in gd test. Cumñz foloud it p bî seyñ, f it hd bn sd bî enwn els bt mslf, h śd’nt hv entrd ɖ hǎs agn. Ɖs rɖr unplezntli trṃnetd ẃt mt hv bn a ćirfl īvnñ. Hvr, it wz az wel ɖe wnt, fr ɖ ćarwmn hd finiśt p ɖ rmenz v ɖ cold porc.

Epril 28. – At ɖ ofis, ɖ ny n vri yuñ clarc Pít, hu wz vri impydnt t m a wīc or so ago, wz lêt agn. I tld him it wd b mî dyti t inform Mr. Prcup, ɖ prinsipl. T mî s’prîz, Pít apoḷjîzd most humbli n in a most jntlmnli faśn. I wz unfênidli plizd t notis ɖs impruvmnt in hiz manr twdz m, n tld him I wd lc ovr hiz unpuñćuaḷti. Pasñ dǎn ɖ rūm an aur lêtr, I rsivd a smart smac in ɖ fes fṛm a rold-up bōl v hard flscap. I trnd rnd śarpli, bt ol ɖ clarcs wr apaṛntli riṿtd t ɖer wrc. I am nt a rić man, bt I wd gv haf-a-sovrin t nǒ ẃɖr ɖt wz ʈroun bî axidnt or dzîn. Wnt hom rli n bòt sm mor inaml pent – blac ɖs tîm – n spent ɖ īvnñ tućñ p ɖ fndr, picćrfremz, n an old per v būts, mcñ ɖm lc az gd az ny. Olso pentd Gowñ’z wōcñstic, ẃć h left bhnd, n md it lc lîc eḅni.

Epril 29, Súnde. – Wouc p wɖ a firfl hed-ec n stroñ simtmz v a cold. Cári, wɖ a pvrṣti ẃć z jst lîc hr, sd it wz “pentr’z colic,” n wz ɖ rzult v mî hvñ spent ɖ last fy dez wɖ mî nǒz ovr a pentpot. I tld hr frmli ɖt I ń a gret dīl betr ẃt wz ɖ matr wɖ m ɖn ś dd. I hd got a ćil, n dsîdd t hv a baʈ az hot az I cd ber it. Baʈ redi – cd scersli ber it so hot. I prṣvird, n got in; vri hot, bt vri axptbl. I le stl fr sm tîm.

On muvñ mî hand abv ɖ srfis v ɖ wōtr, I xpirịnst ɖ gretist frît I evr rsivd in ɖ hol cors v mî lîf; fr imajin mî horr on dscuṿrñ mî hand, az I ʈt, fl v blud. Mî frst ʈt wz ɖt I hd rupćrd an arṭri, n wz blīdñ t deʈ, n śd b dscuvrd, lêtr on, lcñ lîc a secnd Marā, az I rmembr siyñ him in Madm Tūsod’z. Mî secnd ʈt wz t rñ ɖ bel, bt rmembrd ɖr wz no bel t rñ. Mî ʈrd wz, ɖt ɖr wz nʈñ bt ɖ inaml pent, ẃć hd dzolvd wɖ bôlñ wōtr. I stept ǎt v ɖ baʈ, prf̣cli red ol ovr, rzmḅlñ ɖ Red Indịnz I hv sìn dpictd at an Īst-End ʈiytr. I dtrmind nt t se a wrd t Cári, bt t tel Farṃsn t cm on Munde n pent ɖ baʈ ẃît.
"I looked like Marat in the bath, in Madame Tussaud's.".
“I lct lîc Marā in ɖ baʈ, in Madm Tūsod’z.”

ĆAPTR IV

Ɖ bōl at ɖ Manśnhǎs.

Epril 30. – Prf̣cli astǎndd at rsivñ an invteśn fr Cári n mslf fṛm ɖ Lord n Ledi Mẹris t ɖ Manśnhǎs, t “mīt ɖ Repriznttivz v Tredz n Comrs.” Mî hart bìt lîc ɖt v a scūlbô’z. Cári n I réd ɖ invteśn ovr tū or ʈri tîmz. I cd scersli īt mî brecfst. I sd – n I flt it fṛm ɖ botm v mî hart, – “Cári darlñ, I wz a prǎd man ẃn I léd y dǎn ɖ ail v ɖ ćrć on ǎr wedñde; ɖt prîd wl b īqld, f nt s’pást, ẃn I līd mî dir, priti wîf p t ɖ Lord n Ledi Mẹris at ɖ Manśnhǎs.” I sw ɖ tirz in Cári’z îz, n ś sd: “Ćarli dir, it z I hu hv t b prǎd v y. N I am vri, vri prǎd v y. Y hv cōld m priti; n az loñ az I am priti in yr îz, I am hapi. Y, dir old Ćarli, r nt hansm, bt y r gd, ẃć z far mor nobl.” I gev hr a cis, n ś sd: “I wundr f ɖr wl b eni dansñ? I hv nt danst wɖ y fr yirz.”

I canot tel ẃt indyst m t d it, bt I sizd hr rnd ɖ weist, n w wr sili inuf t b x’ktñ a wîld cnd v polca ẃn Sẹra entrd, grinñ, n sd: “Ɖr z a man, mum, at ɖ dor hu wonts t nǒ f y wont eni gd colz.” Most anoid at ɖs. Spent ɖ īvnñ in anṣrñ, n tẹrñ p agn, ɖ rplî t ɖ Manśnhǎs, hvñ left wrd wɖ Sẹra f Gowñ or Cumñz cōld w wr nt at hom. Mst cnsult Mr. Prcup hǎ t ansr ɖ Lord Mẹr’z invteśn.
"I seized her round the waist, and we were silly enough to be executing a wild kind of polka when Sarah entered."
I sizd hr rnd ɖ weist, n w wr sili inuf t b x’ktñ a wîld cnd v polca ẃn Sẹra entrd

Me 1. – Cári sd: “I śd lîc t snd muɖr ɖ invteśn t lc at.” I cnsntd, az sn az I hd ansrd it. I tld Mr. Prcup, at ɖ ofis, wɖ a fīlñ v prîd, ɖt w hd rsivd an invteśn t ɖ Manśnhǎs; n h sd, t mî astoniśmnt, ɖt h himslf gev in mî nem t ɖ Lord Mẹr’z secṛtri. I flt ɖs rɖr dscǎntd ɖ valy v ɖ invteśn, bt I ʈanct him; n in rplî t m, h dscrîbd hǎ I wz t ansr it. I flt ɖ rplî wz tù simpl; bt v cors Mr. Prcup nz bst.

Me 2. – Snt mî drescot n trǎzrz t ɖ litl teilr’z rnd ɖ cornr, t hv ɖ crīsz tecn ǎt. Tld Gowñ nt t cōl nxt Munde, az w wr gwñ t ɖ Manśnhǎs. Snt similr not t Cumñz.

Me 3. – Cári wnt t Msz. Jemz, at Sutn, t cnsult abt hr dres fr nxt Munde. Ẃl spīcñ inṣdnṭli t Spoć, wn v ǎr hed clarcs, abt ɖ Manśnhǎs, h sd: “Ǒ, I’m asct, bt d’nt ʈnc I śl g.” Ẃn a vulgr man lîc Spoć z asct, I fīl mî invteśn z cnsidṛbli dscǎntd. In ɖ īvnñ, ẃl I wz ǎt, ɖ litl teilr bròt rnd mî cot n trǎzrz, n bcz Sẹra hd nt a śilñ t pe fr ɖ presñ, h tc ɖm awe agn.

Me 4. – Cári’z muɖr rtrnd ɖ Lord Mẹr’z invteśn, ẃć wz snt t hr t lc at, wɖ apoḷjiz fr hvñ upset a glas v port ovr it. I wz tù angri t se enʈñ.

Me 5. – Bòt a per v lavndr cid gluvz fr nxt Munde, n tū ẃît tîz, in ces wn got spôlt in ɖ tayñ.

Me 6, Súnde. – A vri dul srmn, jrñ ẃć, I rgret t se, I twîs ʈt v ɖ Manśnhǎs rspśn tmoro.

Me 7. – A big red-letr de; viz., ɖ Lord Mẹr’z rspśn. Ɖ hol hǎs upset. I hd t gt drest at haf-past six, az Cári wontd ɖ rūm t hrslf. Msz. Jemz hd cm p fṛm Sutn t hlp Cári; so I cd nt hlp ʈncñ it unrīzṇbl ɖt ś śd rqîr ɖ intîr atnśn v Sẹra, ɖ srvnt, az wel. Sẹra cept runñ ǎt v ɖ hǎs t feć “smʈñ fr misis,” n sevṛl tîmz I hd, in mî fl īvnñdres, t ansr ɖ bacdor.

Ɖ last tîm it wz ɖ grīngrosr’z bô, hu, nt siyñ it wz m, fr Sẹra hd nt lîtd ɖ gas, pśt intu mî handz tū caḅjz n haf-a-duzn col blocs. I indignntli ʈrù ɖm on ɖ grǎnd, n flt so anoid ɖt I so far fgot mslf az t box ɖ bô’z irz. H wnt awe crayñ, n sd h śd sumnz m, a ʈñ I wd nt hv hapn fr ɖ wrld. In ɖ darc, I stept on a pìs v ɖ cabij, ẃć bròt m dǎn on ɖ flagz ol v a hīp. Fr a momnt I wz stund, bt ẃn I rcuvrd I crōld upsterz intu ɖ drw̃rūm n on lcñ intu ɖ ćimniglas dscuvrd ɖt mî ćin wz blīdñ, mî śrt smird wɖ ɖ col blocs, n mî left trǎzr torn at ɖ ni.Hvr, Msz. Jemz bròt m dǎn anɖr śrt, ẃć I ćenjd in ɖ drw̃rūm. I pt a pìs v cortplastr on mî ćin, n Sẹra vri nītli soud p ɖ ter at ɖ ni. At nîn o’cloc Cári swept intu ɖ rūm, lcñ lîc a qīn. Nvr hv I sìn hr lc so luvli, or so dstnḡśt. Ś wz wẹrñ a satin dres v scî-blu – mî feṿrit culr – n a pìs v lês, ẃć Msz. Jemz lent hr, rnd ɖ śoldrz, t gv a finiś. I ʈt phps ɖ dres wz a litl tù loñ bhnd, n dsîdidli tù śort in frunt, bt Msz. Jemz sd it wz à la mode. Msz. Jemz wz most cînd, n lent Cári a fan v îṿri wɖ red feɖrz, ɖ valy v ẃć, ś sd, wz prîslis, az ɖ feɖrz b’loñd t ɖ Caću īgl – a brd nǎ xtñt. I prifŕd ɖ litl ẃît fan ẃć Cári bòt fr ʈri-n-six at Śūlbred’z, bt bʈ lediz sat on m at wns.

The greengrocer's boy … who pushed into my hands two cabbages and half-a-dozen coal-blocks.
Ɖ grīngrosr’z bô… hu pśt intu mî handz tū caḅjz n haf-a-duzn col blocs.

W arîvd at ɖ Manśnhǎs tù rli, ẃć wz rɖr forćṇt, fr I hd an oṗtyṇti v spīcñ t hiz lordśp, hu greśsli condisndd t tōc wɖ m sm minits; bt I mst se I wz dis’pôntd t fînd h dd nt īvn nǒ Mr. Prcup, ǎr prinsipl.

I flt az f w hd bn invîtd t ɖ Manśnhǎs bî wn hu dd nt nǒ ɖ Lord Mẹr himslf. Crǎdz arîvd, n I śl nvr fget ɖ grand sît. Mî humbl pén cn nvr dscrîb it. I wz a litl anoid wɖ Cári, hu cept seyñ: “Z’nt it a piti w d’nt nǒ enbdi?”

Wns ś qt lost hr hed. I sw smwn hu lct lîc Franćñ, fṛm Pecm, n wz muvñ twdz him ẃn ś sizd m bî ɖ coțeilz, n sd qt lǎdli: “D’nt līv m,” ẃć cōzd an eldrli jntlmn, in a cortsūt, n a ćen rnd him, n tū lediz, t brst ǎt lafñ. Ɖr wz an imns crǎd in ɖ supŗūm, n, mî starz! it wz a splendid supr – eni amǎnt v śampen.

Cári md a most harti supr, fr ẃć I wz plizd; fr I smtmz ʈnc ś z nt stroñ. Ɖr wz scersli a diś ś dd nt test. I wz so ʈrsti, I cd nt īt mć. Rsivñ a śarp slap on ɖ śoldr, I trnd, n, t mî amezmnt, sw Farṃsn, ǎr aynmungr. H sd, in ɖ most fmiłr we: “Ɖs z betr ɖn Bricfīld Teris, ê?” I simpli lct at him, n sd cūli: “I nvr xpctd t si y hir.” H sd, wɖ a lǎd, cōrs laf: “I lîc ɖt – f y, ẃ nt m?” I rplaid: “Srtnli,” I wś I cd hv ʈt v smʈñ betr t se. H sd: “Cn I gt yr gd ledi enʈñ?” Cári sd: “No, I ʈanc y,” fr ẃć I wz plizd. I sd, bî we v rprūf t him: “Y nvr snt tde t pent ɖ baʈ, az I rqstd.” Farṃsn sd: “Pardn m, Mr. Pūtr, no śop ẃn w’r in cumṗni, plīz.”

Bfr I cd ʈnc v a rplî, wn v ɖ śerifs, in fl Cort costym, slapt Farṃsn on ɖ bac n hêld him az an old frend, n asct him t dîn wɖ him at hiz loj. I wz astoniśt. Fr fl fîv minits ɖe std rorñ wɖ laftr, n std digñ ć uɖr in ɖ ribz. Ɖe cept telñ ć uɖr ɖe dd’nt lc a de oldr. Ɖe bgan imbresñ ć uɖr n drincñ śampen.

T ʈnc ɖt a man hu mndz ǎr screpr śd nǒ eni membr v ǎr aṛstocṛsi! I wz jst muvñ wɖ Cári, ẃn Farṃsn sizd m rɖr rufli bî ɖ colr, n adresñ ɖ śerif, sd: “Let m intṛdys mî nebr, Pūtr.” H dd nt īvn se “Mistr.” Ɖ śerif handd m a glas v śampen. I flt, aftr ol, it wz a gret onr t drinc a glas v wîn wɖ him, n I tld him so. W std ćatñ fr sm tîm, n at last I sd: “Y mst xkz m nǎ f I jôn Msz. Pūtr.” Ẃn I aproćt hr, ś sd: “D’nt let m tec y awe fṛm frendz. I am qt hapi standñ hir alon in a crǎd, nwñ nbdi!”

Az it tecs tū t mc a qoṛl, n az it wz nɖr ɖ tîm nr ɖ ples fr it, I gev mî arm t Cári, n sd: “I hop mî darlñ litl wîf wl dans wɖ m, f onli fr ɖ sec v seyñ w hd danst at ɖ Manśnhǎs az gests v ɖ Lord Mẹr.” Fîndñ ɖ dansñ aftr supr wz les forml, n nwñ hǎ mć Cári yst t admîr mî dansñ in ɖ dez gn bî, I pt mî arm rnd hr weist n w cmnst a wōlts.

A most unforćṇt axidnt ocŕd. I hd got on a ny per v būts. Fūliśli, I hd omitd t tec Cári’z advîs; nemli, t scrać ɖ sǒlz v ɖm wɖ ɖ pônts v ɖ sizrz or t pt a litl wet on ɖm. I hd scersli startd ẃn, lîc lîtnñ, mî left ft slipt awe n I cem dǎn, ɖ sîd v mî hed strîcñ ɖ flor wɖ sć vayḷns ɖt fr a secnd or tū I dd nt nǒ ẃt hd hapnd. I nīd hardli se ɖt Cári fél wɖ m wɖ īql vayḷns, brecñ ɖ com in hr her n grezñ hr elbo.

Ɖr wz a ror v laftr, ẃć wz imīɉtli ćect ẃn ppl faund ɖt w hd riyli hrt ǎrslvz. A jntlmn asistd Cári t a sīt, n I xprest mslf priti stroñli on ɖ denjr v hvñ a plen poliśt flor wɖ no carpit or drugit t privnt ppl slipñ. Ɖ jntlmn, hu sd hiz nem wz Darwits, insistd on iscortñ Cári t hv a glas v wîn, an invteśn ẃć I wz plizd t alǎ Cári t axpt.

I foloud, n met Farṃsn, hu imīɉtli sd, in hiz lǎd vôs “Ǒ, r y ɖ wn hu wnt dǎn?”

I ansrd wɖ an indignnt lc.

Wɖ xicṛbl test, h sd: “Lc hir, old man, w r tù old fr ɖs gem. W mst līv ɖz ceprz t ɖ yuñstrz. Cm n hv anɖr glas, ɖt z mor in ǎr lîn.”

Olɖo I flt I wz bayñ hiz sîḷns bî axptñ, w foloud ɖ uɖrz intu ɖ supŗūm.

Nɖr Cári nr I, aftr ǎr unforćṇt mishap, flt inclînd t ste longr. Az w wr dpartñ, Farṃsn sd: “R y gwñ? f so, y mt gv m a lift.”

I ʈt it betr t cnsnt, bt wś I hd frst cnsultd Cári.

ĆAPTR V

Aftr ɖ Manśnhǎs Bōl. Cári ofndd. Gowñ olso ofndd. A pleznt parti at ɖ Cumñz’. Mr. Franćñ, v Pecm, vizits s.

Me 8. – I wouc p wɖ a most teṛbl hed-ec. I cd scersli si, n ɖ bac v mî nec wz az f I hd gvn it a cric. I ʈt frst v sndñ fr a doctr; bt I dd nt ʈnc it nesṣri. Ẃn p, I flt fent, n wnt t Brǎniś’z, ɖ cemist, hu gev m a dráft. So bad at ɖ ofis, hd t gt līv t cm hom. Wnt t anɖr cemist in ɖ Siti, n I got a dráft. Brǎniś’z dos sīmz t hv md m wrs; hv ītn nʈñ ol de. T mc matrz wrs, Cári, evri tîm I spouc t hr, ansrd m śarpli – ɖt z, ẃn ś ansrd at ol.

In ɖ īvnñ I flt vri mć wrs agn n sd t hr: “I d b’liv I’v bn pôznd bî ɖ lobstr meynez at ɖ Manśnhǎs last nît;” ś simpli rplaid, wɖt tecñ hr îz fṛm hr sowñ: “Śampen nvr dd agri wɖ y.” I flt iṛtetd, n sd: “Ẃt nonsns y tōc; I onli hd a glas n a haf, n y nǒ az wel az I d – ” Bfr I cd cmplit ɖ sntns ś bǎnst ǎt v ɖ rūm. I sat ovr an aur wêtñ fr hr t rtrn; bt az ś dd nt, I dtrmind I wd g t bed. I dscuvrd Cári hd gn t bed wɖt īvn seyñ “gdnît”; līvñ m t bar ɖ scuḷridor n fīd ɖ cat. I śl srtnli spīc t hr abt ɖs in ɖ mornñ.

Me 9. – Stl a litl śeci, wɖ blac specs. Ɖ Blacfrîrz Bîwīcli Nyz cntenz a loñ list v ɖ gests at ɖ Manśnhǎs Bōl. Dis’pôntd t fînd ǎr nemz omitd, ɖo Farṃsn’z z in plenli inuf wɖ M.L.L. aftr it, ẃtvr ɖt me mīn. Mor ɖn vxt, bcz w hd ordrd a duzn copiz t snd t ǎr frendz. Rout t ɖ Blacfrîrz Bîwīcli Nyz, pôntñ ǎt ɖer omiśn.

Cári hd cmnst hr brecfst ẃn I entrd ɖ parlr. I hlpt mslf t a cup v ti, n I sd, prf̣cli cāmli n qaytli: “Cári, I wś a litl xpḷneśn v yr conduct last nît.”Ś rplaid, “Indd! n I dzîr smʈñ mor ɖn a litl xpḷneśn v yr conduct ɖ nît bfr.”

I sd, cūli: “Riyli, I d’nt unḍstand y.”

Cári sd snirñli: “Probbli nt; y wr scersli in a cndiśn t unḍstand enʈñ.”

I wz astǎndd at ɖs insińueśn n simpli ijakletd: “Caṛlîn!”

Ś sd: “D’nt b ʈiatricl, it hz no ifct on m. Rzrv ɖt ton fr yr ny frend, Mistr Farṃsn, ɖ aynmungr.”

I wz abt t spīc, ẃn Cári, in a tmpr sć az I hv nvr sìn hr in bfr, tld m t hold mî tuñ. Ś sd: “Nǎ I’m gwñ t se smʈñ! Aftr pṛfesñ t snub Mr. Farṃsn, y pmit him t snub y, in mî prezns, n ɖen axpt hiz invteśn t tec a glas v śampen wɖ y, n y d’nt limit yrslf t wn glas. Y ɖen ofr ɖs vulgr man, hu md a bungl v rperñ ǎr screpr, a sīt in ǎr cab on ɖ we hom. I se nʈñ abt hiz tẹrñ mî dres in gtñ in ɖ cab, nr v trédñ on Msz. Jemz’z xpnsiv fan, ẃć y noct ǎt v mî hand, n fr ẃć h nvr īvn apoḷjîzd; bt y smoct ol ɖ we hom wɖt hvñ ɖ dīsnsi t asc mî pmiśn. Ɖt z nt ol! At ɖ end v ɖ jrni, olɖo h dd nt ofr y a farɖñ twdz hiz śer v ɖ cab, y asct him in. Forćṇtli, h wz sobr inuf t dtct, fṛm mî manr, ɖt hiz cumṗni wz nt dzîṛbl.”

"You then offer this vulgar man, who made a bungle of repairing our scraper, a seat in our cab on the way home."
“Y ɖen ofr ɖs vulgr man… a sīt in ǎr cab on ɖ we hom.”

Gdnis nz I flt hymilietd inuf at ɖs; bt, t mc matrz wrs, Gowñ entrd ɖ rūm, wɖt nocñ, wɖ tū hats on hiz hed n holdñ ɖ gardnrêc in hiz hand, wɖ Cári’z fŕ tipit (ẃć h hd tecn of ɖ dǎnsterz hōlpeg) rnd hiz nec, n anǎnst himslf in a lǎd, cōrs vôs: “Hiz Royl Hînis, ɖ Lord Mẹr!” H marćt twîs rnd ɖ rūm lîc a bfūn, n fîndñ w tc no notis, sd: “Hlo! ẃt’s p? Luvrz’ qoṛl, ê?”

Ɖr wz a sîḷns fr a momnt, so I sd qaytli: “Mî dir Gowñ, I’m nt vri wel, n nt qt in ɖ hymr fr jocñ; ispeṣ́li ẃn y entr ɖ rūm wɖt nocñ, an act ẃć I fel t si ɖ fun v.”

Gowñ sd: “I’m vri sori, bt I cōld fr mî stic, ẃć I ʈt y wd hv snt rnd.” I handd him hiz stic, ẃć I rmembrd I hd pentd blac wɖ ɖ inaml pent, ʈncñ t impruv it. H lct at it fr a minit wɖ a dezd xpreśn n sd: “Hu dd ɖs?”

I sd: “Ê, dd ẃt?”

H sd: “Dd ẃt? Ẃ, dstroid mî stic! It b’loñd t mî pur uncl, n I valy it mor ɖn enʈñ I hv in ɖ wrld! I’l nǒ hu dd it.”

I sd: “I’m vri sori. I der se it wl cm of. I dd it fr ɖ bst.”

Gowñ sd: “Ɖen ol I cn se z, it’s a cnfǎndd liḅti; n I wd ad, y’r a bigr fūl ɖn y lc, onli ɖt’s abṣlutli imposbl.”

Me 12. – Got a sngl copi v ɖ Blacfrîrz Bîwīcli Nyz. Ɖr wz a śort list v sevṛl nemz ɖe hd omitd; bt ɖ stypid ppl hd mnśnd ǎr nemz az “Mr. n Msz. C. Portr.” Most anoyñ! Rout agn n I tc ptiklr cer t rait ǎr nem in capitl letrz, PŪTR, so ɖt ɖr śd b no poṣbl mstec ɖs tîm.

Me 16. – Abṣlutli dsgustd on oṗnñ ɖ Blacfrîrz Bîwīcli Nyz v tde, t fînd ɖ folowñ paṛgraf: “W hv rsivd tū letrz fṛm Mr. n Msz. Ćarlz Pytr, rqstñ s t anǎns ɖ importnt fact ɖt ɖe wr at ɖ Manśnhǎs Bōl.” I tòr p ɖ pepr n ʈrù it in ɖ westpepr bascit. Mî tîm z far tù vałbl t boɖr abt sć trîflz.

Me 21. – Ɖ last wīc or ten dez teṛbli dul, Cári biyñ awe at Msz. Jemz’z, at Sutn. Cumñz olso awe. Gowñ, I prizym, z stl ofndd wɖ m fr blac-inaṃlñ hiz stic wɖt ascñ him.

Me 22. – Prćist a ny stic mǎntd wɖ silvr, ẃć cost sevn-n-sixpns (śl tel Cári fîv śilñz), n snt it rnd wɖ nîs not t Gowñ.

Me 23. – Rsivd strenj not fṛm Gowñ; h sd: “Ofndd? nt a bit, mî bô – I ʈt y wr ofndd wɖ m fr luzñ mî tmpr. Bsdz, I faund aftr ol, it wz nt mî pur old uncl’z stic y pentd. It wz onli a śilñ ʈñ I bòt at a tbac̣nist’s. Hvr, I am mć oblîjd t y fr yr hansm preznt ol sem.”

Me 24. – Cári bac. Hrā! Ś lcs wundrf̣li wel, xpt ɖt ɖ sún hz còt hr nǒz.

Me 25. – Cári bròt dǎn sm v mî śrts n advîzd m t tec ɖm t Trilip’s rnd ɖ cornr. Ś sd: “Ɖ frunts n cufs r mć freid.” I sd wɖt a momnt’s hezteśn: “I’m ’freid ɖe r.” Lor! hǎ w rord. I ʈt w śd nvr stop lafñ. Az I hapnd t b sitñ nxt ɖ drîvr gwñ t tǎn on ɖ ’bus, I tld him mî joc abt ɖ “freid” śrts. I ʈt h wd hv rold of hiz sīt. Ɖe laft at ɖ ofis a gd bit tù ovr it.

Me 26. – Left ɖ śrts t b rperd at Trilip’s. I sd t him: “I’m ’freid ɖe r freid.” H sd, wɖt a smîl: “Ɖ’r baund t d ɖt, sr.” Sm ppl sīm t b qt desttyt v a sns v hymr.

Jūn 1. – Ɖ last wīc hz bn lîc old tîmz, Cári biyñ bac, n Gowñ n Cumñz cōlñ evri īvnñ nirli. Twîs w sat ǎt in ɖ gardn qt lêt. Ɖs īvnñ w wr lîc a pac v ćildṛn, n pleid “consiqnsz.” It z a gd gem.

Jūn 2. – “Consiqnsz” agn ɖs īvnñ. Nt qt so s’xesfl az last nît; Gowñ hvñ sevṛl tîmz oṿstept ɖ limits v gd test.

Jūn 4. – In ɖ īvnñ Cári n I wnt rnd t Mr. n Msz. Cumñz’ t spend a qayt īvnñ wɖ ɖm. Gowñ wz ɖr, olso Mr. Stilbrŭc. It wz qayt bt pleznt. Msz. Cumñz sañ fîv or six soñz, “No, Sr,” n “Ɖ Gardn v Slīp,” biyñ bst in mî humbl jujmnt; bt ẃt plizd m most wz ɖ dyet ś sañ wɖ Cári – clasicl dyet, tù. I ʈnc it z cōld, “I wd ɖt mî luv!” It wz bytifl. F Cári hd bn in betr vôs, I d’nt ʈnc pṛfeśnlz cd hv suñ it betr. Aftr supr w md ɖm sñ it agn. I nvr lîct Mr. Stilbrŭc sins ɖ wōc ɖt Súnde t ɖ “Cǎ & Hej,” bt I mst se h sñz comic soñz wel. Hiz soñ: “W d’nt wont ɖ old men nǎ,” md s śrīc wɖ laftr, ispeṣ́li ɖ vrs rfŕñ t Mr. Gladstn; bt ɖr wz wn vrs I ʈnc h mt hv omitd, n I sd so, bt Gowñ ʈt it wz ɖ bst v ɖ lot.

Jūn 6. – Trilip bròt rnd ɖ śrts n, t mî dsgust, hiz ćarj fr rperñ wz mor ɖn I gev fr ɖm ẃn ny. I tld him so, n h imprtinntli rplaid: “Wel, ɖe r betr nǎ ɖn ẃn ɖe wr ny.” I peid him, n sd it wz a roḅri. H sd: “F y wontd yr śrtfrunts md ǎt v pōprlinn, sć az z yzd fr pacñ n bcbîndñ, ẃ dd’nt y se so?”

Jūn 7. – A dredfl anoyns. Met Mr. Franćñ, hu livz at Pecm, n hu z a gret swel in hiz we. I vnćrd t asc him t cm hom t mìți, n tec potluc. I dd nt ʈnc h wd axpt sć a humbl invteśn; bt h dd, seyñ, in a most frendli we, h wd rɖr “pec” wɖ s ɖn bî himslf. I sd: “W hd betr gt intu ɖs blu ’bus.” H rplaid: “No blu-busñ fr m. I hv hd inuf v ɖ bluz lêtli. I lost a cūl ‘ʈǎ’ ovr ɖ Copr Scer. Step in hir.”

Mr. Franching, of Peckham.
Mr. Franćñ, v Pecm

W drouv p hom in stîl, in a hansmcab, n I noct ʈri tîmz at ɖ fruntdor wɖt gtñ an ansr. I sw Cári, ʈru ɖ panlz v graund glas (wɖ starz), ruśñ upsterz. I tld Mr. Franćñ t wêt at ɖ dor ẃl I wnt rnd t ɖ sîd. Ɖr I sw ɖ grosr’z bô acć̣li picñ of ɖ pent on ɖ dor, ẃć hd formd intu blistrz. No tîm t rpruv him; so wnt rnd n ifctd an entṛns ʈru ɖ cićnwindo. I let in Mr. Franćñ, n śoud him intu ɖ drw̃rūm. I wnt upsterz t Cári, hu wz ćenjñ hr dres, n tld hr I hd pswedd Mr. Franćñ t cm hom. Ś rplaid: “Hǎ cn y d sć a ʈñ? Y nǒ it’s Sẹra’z hoḷde, n ɖr’z nt a ʈñ in ɖ hǎs, ɖ cold mutn hvñ trnd wɖ ɖ hot weɖr.”Ivnć̣li Cári, lîc a gd crīćr az ś z, slipt dǎn, wośt p ɖ tīcups, n leid ɖ cloʈ, n I gev Franćñ ǎr vyz v Jpan t lc at ẃl I ran rnd t ɖ bćr’z t gt ʈri ćops.

The grocer's boy was actually picking off the paint on the side door, which had formed into blisters.
Đ grosr’z bô wz acć̣li picñ of ɖ pent on ɖ dor, ẃć hd formd intu blistrz.

Jlî 30. – Ɖ mizṛbl cold weɖr z îɖr upsetñ m or Cári, or bʈ. W sīm t brec ǎt intu an arğmnt abt abṣlutli nʈñ, n ɖs unpleznt stet v ʈñz yẓ́li ocŕz at mīltîmz.

Ɖs mornñ, fr sm un’cǎntbl rīzn, w wr tōcñ abt b’lūnz, n w wr az meri az poṣbl; bt ɖ convseśn driftd intu faṃli matrz, jrñ ẃć Cári, wɖt ɖ slîtist rīzn, rfŕd in ɖ most uncompḷmntri manr t mî pur faɖr’z pkńri trubl. I rtortd bî seyñ ɖt “Pa, at ol ivnts, wz a jntlmn,” ẃr’pn Cári brst ǎt crayñ. I poztivli cd nt īt eni brecfst.At ɖ ofis I wz snt fr bî Mr. Prcup, hu sd h wz vri sori, bt I śd hv t tec mî ańl hoḷdez fṛm nxt Saṭde. Franćñ cōld at ofis n asct m t dîn at hiz club, “Ɖ Consttyśnl.” Firñ dis’griyblz at hom aftr ɖ “tif” ɖs mornñ, I snt a teḷgram t Cári, telñ hr I wz gwñ ǎt t dîn n ś wz nt t sit p. Bòt a litl silvr bangl fr Cári.

Jlî 31. – Cári wz vri plizd wɖ ɖ bangl, ẃć I left wɖ an afx́ṇt not on hr dresñtebl last nît bfr gwñ t bed. I tld Cári w śd hv t start fr ǎr hoḷde nxt Saṭde. Ś rplaid qt haṗli ɖt ś dd nt mînd, xpt ɖt ɖ weɖr wz so bad, n ś fird ɖt Mis Jibnz wd nt b ebl t gt hr a sìsîd dres in tîm. I tld Cári ɖt I ʈt ɖ drab wn wɖ pnc boz lct qt gd inuf; n Cári sd ś śd nt ʈnc v wẹrñ it. I wz abt t dscus ɖ matr, ẃn, rmemḅrñ ɖ arğmnt yesṭde, rzolvd t hold mî tuñ.

I sd t Cári: “I d’nt ʈnc w cn d betr ɖn ‘Gd old Brōdsterz’.” Cári nt onli, t mî astoniśmnt, rezd an objx́n t Brōdsterz, fr ɖ frst tîm; bt begd m nt t yz ɖ xpreśn, “Gd old,” bt t līv it t Mr. Stilbrŭc n uɖr jntlṃn v hiz tîp. Hírñ mî ’bus pas ɖ windo, I wz oblîjd t ruś ǎt v ɖ hǎs wɖt cisñ Cári az yźl; n I śǎtd t hr: “I līv it t y t dsîd.” On rtrnñ in ɖ īvnñ, Cári sd ś ʈt az ɖ tîm wz so śort ś hd dsîdd on Brōdsterz, n hd ritn t Msz. Béc, Harbr Vy Teris, fr apartmnts.

Ōġst 1. – Ordrd a ny per v trǎzrz at Edwdz’z, n tld ɖm nt t cut ɖm so lūs ovr ɖ būt; ɖ last per biyñ so lūs n olso tît at ɖ ni, lct lîc a sêlr’z, n I hŕd Pít, ɖt objx́ṇbl yʈ at ɖ ofis, cōl ǎt “Hornpîp” az I pást hiz dsc. Cári hz ordrd v Mis Jibnz a pnc Garibōldi n blu-srj scrt, ẃć I olwz ʈnc lcs so priti at ɖ sìsîd. In ɖ īvnñ ś trimd hrslf a litl sêlrhat, ẃl I réd t hr ɖ Xćenj n Mart. W hd a gd laf ovr mî trayñ on ɖ hat ẃn ś hd finiśt it; Cári seyñ it lct so funi wɖ mî bird, n hǎ ɖ ppl wd hv rord f I wnt on ɖ stej lîc it.

Young Pitt called out "Hornpipe" as I passed his desk.
Yuñ Pít cōld ǎt “Hornpîp” az I pást his dsc.

Ōġst 2. – Msz. Béc rout t se w cd hv ǎr yźl rūmz at Brōdsterz. Ɖt’s of ǎr mînd. Bòt a culrd śrt n a per v tan-culrd būts, ẃć I si mni v ɖ swel clarcs wẹrñ in ɖ Siti, n hír r ol ɖ “go.”

Ōġst 3. – A bytifl de. Lcñ fwd t tmoro. Cári bòt a paṛsol abt fîv fīt loñ. I tld hr it wz r’dikḷs. Ś sd: “Msz. Jemz, v Sutn, hz wn twîs az loñ so;” ɖ matr dropt. I bòt a capitl hat fr hot weɖr at ɖ sìsîd. I d’nt nǒ ẃt it z cōld, bt it z ɖ śep v ɖ helmit wòrn in India, onli md v strw. Got ʈri ny tîz, tū culrd hanc̣ćīfs, n a per v nevi-blu socs at Pǒp Bruɖrz. Spent ɖ īvnñ pacñ. Cári tld m nt t fget t boro Mr. Higzwrʈ’s teḷscop, ẃć h olwz lendz m, nwñ I nǒ hǎ t tec cer v it. Snt Sẹra ǎt fr it. Ẃl evrʈñ wz sīmñ so brît, ɖ last post bròt s a letr fṛm Msz. Béc, seyñ: “I hv jst let ol mî hǎs t wn parti, n am sori I mst tec bac mî wrdz, n am sori y mst fînd uɖr apartmnts; bt Msz. Womming, nxt dor, wl b plizd t acoṃdet y, bt ś canot tec y bfr Munde, az hr rūmz r ingejd Banchoḷde wīc.”

ĆAPTR VI

Ɖ Unixpctd Arîvl Hom v ǎr Sun, Wili Lūpin Pūtr.

Ōġst 4. – Ɖ frst post bròt a nîs letr fṛm ǎr dir sun Wili, acnoḷjñ a trîf̣lñ preznt ẃć Cári snt him, ɖ de bfr yesṭde biyñ hiz twentịʈ brʈde. T ǎr utr amezmnt h trnd p himslf in ɖ afṭnun, hvñ jrnid ol ɖ we fṛm Oldm. H sd h hd got līv fṛm ɖ banc, n az Munde wz a hoḷde h ʈt h wd gv s a litl s’prîz.

Ōġst 5, Súnde. – W hv nt sìn Wili sins last Crisṃs, n r plizd t notis ẃt a fîn yuñ man h hz groun. Wn wd scersli b’liv h wz Cári’z sun. H lcs mor lîc a yungr bruɖr. I rɖr dis’pruv v hiz wẹrñ a ćec sūt on a Súnde, n I ʈnc h òt t hv gn t ćrć ɖs mornñ; bt h sd h wz tîrd aftr yesṭde’z jrni, so I rfrend fṛm eni rmarc on ɖ subjict. W hd a botl v port fr dinr, n dranc dir Wili’z hlʈ.

H sd: “Ǒ, bî-ɖ-bî, dd I tel y I’v cut mî frst nem, ‘Wiłm,’ n tecn ɖ secnd nem ‘Lūpin’? In fact, I’m onli noun at Oldm az ‘Lūpin Pūtr.’ F y wr t ‘Wili’ m ɖr, ɖe wd’nt nǒ ẃt y mnt.”V cors, Lūpin biyñ a pyrli faṃli nem, Cári wz dlîtd, n bgan bî gvñ a loñ hisṭri v ɖ Lūpinz. I vnćrd t se ɖt I ʈt Wiłm a nîs simpl nem, n rmîndd him h wz crisnd aftr hiz Uncl Wiłm, hu wz mć rspctd in ɖ Siti. Wili, in a manr ẃć I dd nt mć cer fr, sd snirñli: “Ǒ, I nǒ ol abt ɖt – Gd old Bil!” n hlpt himslf t a ʈrd glas v port.

Cári objctd stroñli t mî seyñ “Gd old,” bt ś md no rmarc ẃn Wili yzd ɖ dubl ajctiv. I sd nʈñ, bt lct at hr, ẃć mnt mor. I sd: “Mî dir Wili, I hop y r hapi wɖ yr colīgz at ɖ Banc.” H rplaid: “Lūpin, f y plīz; n wɖ rspct t ɖ Banc, ɖr’z nt a clarc hu z a jntlmn, n ɖ ‘bos’ z a cad.” I flt so śoct, I cd se nʈñ, n mî instñt tld m ɖr wz smʈñ roñ.

Lupin
Lūpin

Ōġst 6, Banchoḷde. – Az ɖr wz no sîn v Lūpin muvñ at nîn o’cloc, I noct at hiz dor, n sd w yẓ́li brecfstd at haf-past et, n asct hǎ loñ wd h b? Lūpin rplaid ɖt h hd hd a lîvli tîm v it, frst wɖ ɖ tren śecñ ɖ hǎs ol nît, n ɖen wɖ ɖ sún strīmñ in ʈru ɖ windo in hiz îz, n gvñ him a cracñ hed-ec. Cári cem p n asct f h wd lîc sm brecfst snt p, n h sd h cd d wɖ a cup v ti, n dd’nt wont enʈñ t īt.

Lūpin nt hvñ cm dǎn, I wnt p agn at haf-past wn, n sd w dînd at tū; h sd h “wd b ɖr.” H nvr cem dǎn tl a qortr t ʈri. I sd: “W hv nt sìn mć v y, n y wl hv t rtrn bî ɖ 5.30 tren; ɖrfr y wl hv t līv in an aur, unls y g bî ɖ midnît meil.” H sd: “Lc hir, Guvnr, it’s no ys bìtñ abt ɖ bś. I’v tndrd mî reẓgneśn at ɖ Banc.”Fr a momnt I cd nt spīc. Ẃn mî spīć cem agn, I sd: “Hǎ der y, sr? Hǎ der y tec sć a sirịs step wɖt cnsultñ m? D’nt ansr m, sr! – y wl sit dǎn imīɉtli, n rait a not at mî dicteśn, wɖdrw̃ yr reẓgneśn n ampli apoḷjîzñ fr yr ʈtlisnis.”

Imajin mî dsme ẃn h rplaid wɖ a lǎd gfw: “It’s no ys. F y wont ɖ gd old truʈ, I’v got ɖ ćuc!”

Ōġst 7. – Mr. Prcup hz gvn m līv t pspon mî hoḷde a wīc, az w cd nt gt ɖ rūm. Ɖs wl gv s an oṗtyṇti v trayñ t fînd an apôntmnt fr Wili bfr w g. Ɖ ambiśn v mî lîf wd b t gt him intu Mr. Prcup’s frm.

Ōġst 11. – Olɖo it z a sirịs matr hvñ ǎr bô Lūpin on ǎr handz, stl it z saṭsfactri t nǒ h wz asct t rzîn fṛm ɖ Banc simpli bcz “h tc no inṭrest in hiz wrc, n olwz arîvd an aur (smtmz tū aurz) lêt.” W cn ol start of on Munde t Brōdsterz wɖ a lît hart. Ɖs wl tec mî mînd of ɖ wuri v ɖ last fy dez, ẃć hv bn westd ovr a yslis corispondns wɖ ɖ manijr v ɖ Banc at Oldm.

Ōġst 13. – Hrā! at Brōdsterz. Vri nîs apartmnts nir ɖ steśn. On ɖ clifs ɖe wd hv bn dubl ɖ prîs. Ɖ landledi hd a nîs fîv o’cloc dinr n ti redi, ẃć w ol injoid, ɖo Lūpin sīmd fstidịs bcz ɖr hapnd t b a flî in ɖ butr. It wz vri wet in ɖ īvnñ, fr ẃć I wz ʈancfl, az it wz a gd xks fr gwñ t bed rli. Lūpin sd h wd sit p n rīd a bit.

Ōġst 14. – I wz a litl anoid t fînd Lūpin, instd v rīdñ last nît, hd gn t a comn sort v enttenmnt, gvn at ɖ Asmblirūmz. I xprest mî opińn ɖt sć pformnsz wr unwrɖi v rspctbl patṛnij; bt h rplaid: “Ǒ, it wz onli ‘fr wn nît onli.’ I hd a fit v ɖ bluz cm on, n ʈt I wd g t si Poli Preswel, Ñgḷnd’z Ptiklr Sparc.” I tld him I wz prǎd t se I hd nvr hŕd v hr. Cári sd: “D let ɖ bô alon. H’z qt old inuf t tec cer v himslf, n w’nt fget h’z a jntlmn. Rmembr, y wr yuñ wns yrslf.” Rênd ol de hard, bt Lūpin wd g ǎt.

Ōġst 15. – Clird p a bit, so w ol tc ɖ tren t Marget, n ɖ frst prsn w met on ɖ jeti wz Gowñ. I sd: “Hlo! I ʈt y hd gn t Barṃʈ wɖ yr Brmñm frendz?” H sd: “Yes, bt yuñ Pītr Loṛns wz so il, ɖe pspond ɖer vizit, so I cem dǎn hir. Y nǒ ɖ Cumñz’ r hir tù?” Cári sd: “Ǒ, ɖt wl b dlîtfl! W mst hv sm īvnñz tgɖr n hv gemz.”

I intṛdyst Lūpin, seyñ: “Y wl b plizd t fînd w hv ǎr dir bô at hom!” Gowñ sd: “Hǎ’z ɖt? Y d’nt mīn t se h’z left ɖ Banc?”I ćenjd ɖ subjict qcli, n ɖrbî avôdd eni v ɖoz ōcẉd qsćnz ẃć Gowñ olwz hz a nac v ascñ.

Ōġst 16. – Lūpin poztivli rfyzd t wōc dǎn ɖ P’red wɖ m bcz I wz wẹrñ mî ny strw helmit wɖ mî froc̦ot. I d’nt nǒ ẃt ɖ bô z cmñ t.

Lupin positively refused to walk down the Parade with me because I was wearing my new straw helmet with my frock-coat.
Lūpin poztivli rfyzd t wōc dǎn ɖ P’red wɖ m bcz I wz wẹrñ mî ny strw helmit wɖ mî froc̦ot.

Ōġst 17. – Lūpin nt fōlñ in wɖ ǎr vyz, Cári n I wnt fr a sêl. It wz a rlif t b wɖ hr alon; fr ẃn Lūpin iṛtets m, ś olwz sîdz wɖ him. On ǎr rtrn, h sd: “Ǒ, y’v bn on ɖ ‘Śilñ-Imetic,’ hv y? Y’l cm t six-peṇʈ on ɖ ‘Livrjrcr’ nxt.” I prizym h mnt a trîsicl, bt I afctd nt t unḍstand him.

Ōġst 18. – Gowñ n Cumñz wōct ovr t arenj an īvnñ at Marget. It biyñ wet, Gowñ asct Cumñz t acumṗni him t ɖ hotel n hv a gem v biłdz, nwñ I nvr ple, n in fact dis’pruv v ɖ gem. Cumñz sd h mst hesn bac t Marget; ẃr’pn Lūpin, t mî horr, sd: “I’l gv y a gem, Gowñ – a hundṛd p. A wōc rnd ɖ cloʈ wl gv m an aṗtît fr dinr.” I sd: “Phps Mistr Gowñ dz nt cer t ple wɖ bôz.” Gowñ s’prîzd m bî seyñ: “Ǒ yes, I d, f ɖe ple wel,” n ɖe wōct of tgɖr.

Ōġst 19, Súnde. – I wz abt t rīd Lūpin a srmn on smocñ (ẃć h induljz in vayḷntli) n biłdz, bt h pt on hiz hat n wōct ǎt. Cári ɖen réd m a loñ srmn on ɖ palṗbl in’dvîẓbiḷti v trītñ Lūpin az f h wr a mir ćîld. I flt ś wz smẃt rît, so in ɖ īvnñ I ofrd him a sgar. H sīmd plizd, bt, aftr a fy ẃifs, sd: “Ɖs z a gd old tuṗni – trî wn v mîn,” n h handd m a sgar az loñ az it wz stroñ, ẃć z seyñ a gd dīl.

Ōġst 20. – I am glad ǎr last de at ɖ sìsîd wz fîn, ɖo clǎdd oṿhed. W wnt ovr t Cumñz (at Marget) in ɖ īvnñ, n az it wz cold, w steid in n pleid gemz; Gowñ, az yźl, oṿstepñ ɖ marc. H sjstd w śd ple “Cutḷts,” a gem w nvr hŕd v. H sat on a ćer, n asct Cári t sit on hiz lap, an invteśn ẃć dir Cári rîtli dclînd.

Aftr sm spīśīz v ranġlñ, I sat on Gowñ’z niz n Cári sat on ɖ éj v mîn. Lūpin sat on ɖ éj v Cári’z lap, ɖen Cumñz on Lūpin’z, n Msz. Cumñz on hr huzbnd’z. W lct vri r’dikḷs, n laft a gd dīl.Gowñ ɖen sd: “R y a b’livr in ɖ Gret Mǒgl?” W hd t ansr ol tgɖr: “Yes – ǒ, yes!” (ʈri tîmz). Gowñ sd: “So am I,” n sudnli got p. Ɖ rzult v ɖs stypid joc wz ɖt w ol fél on ɖ grǎnd, n pur Cári bañd hr hed agnst ɖ cornr v ɖ fndr. Msz. Cumñz pt sm viṇgr on; bt ʈru ɖs w míst ɖ last tren, n hd t drîv bac t Brōdsterz, ẃć cost m sevn-n-sixpns.

We play the game of "Cutlets." When we had all sat on each other's laps, Gowing said: "Are you a believer in the Great Mogul?"
W ple ɖ gem v “Cupḷts.” Ẃn w hd ol sat on ć uɖr’z laps, Gowñ sd: “R y a b’livr in ɖ Gret Mǒgl?”
Gowing said: "So am I," and suddenly got up.
Gowñ sd: “So am I,” n sudnli got p.

ĆAPTR VII

Hom agn. Msz. Jemz’ inflụns on Cári. Cn gt nʈñ fr Lūpin. Nxt-dor nebrz r a litl trublsm. Smwn tamprz wɖ mî dayri. Got a ples fr Lūpin. Lūpin startlz s wɖ an anǎnsmnt.

Ōġst 22. – Hom swīt Hom agn! Cári bòt sm priti blu-wŭl mats t stand vāzz on. Frips, Jêṇs & Co. rait t se ɖe r sori ɖe hv no vecnsi amñ ɖer staf v clarcs fr Lūpin.

Ōġst 23. – I bòt a per v stagz’ hedz md v plastr-v-Paris n culrd brǎn. Ɖe wl lc jst ɖ ʈñ fr ǎr litl hōl, n gv it stîl; ɖ hedz r xḷnt iṃteśnz. Pūlrz & Smiʈ r sori ɖe hv nʈñ t ofr Lūpin.

I hung up the stag's head made of plaster-of-Paris.
I huñ p a stag’z hed md v plastr-v-Paris.

Ōġst 24. – Simpli t plīz Lūpin, n mc ʈñz ćirfl fr him, az h z a litl dǎn, Cári invîtd Msz. Jemz t cm p fṛm Sutn n spend tū or ʈri dez wɖ s. W hv nt sd a wrd t Lūpin, bt mīn t cīp it az a s’prîz.

Ōġst 25. – Msz. Jemz, v Sutn, arîvd in ɖ afṭnun, brññ wɖ hr an inorṃs bunć v wîld flǎrz. Ɖ mor I si v Msz. Jemz ɖ nîsr I ʈnc ś z, n ś z dvotd t Cári. Ś wnt intu Cári’z rūm t tec of hr bonit, n rmend ɖr nirli an aur tōcñ abt dres. Lūpin sd h wz nt a bit s’prîzd at Msz. Jemz’ vizit, bt wz s’prîzd at hr.

Ōġst 26, Súnde. – Nirli lêt fr ćrć, Msz. Jemz hvñ tōct cnsidṛbli abt ẃt t wer ol ɖ mornñ. Lūpin dz nt sīm t gt on vri wel wɖ Msz. Jemz. I am afreid w śl hv sm trubl wɖ ǎr nxt-dor nebrz hu cem in last Wenzde. Sevṛl v ɖer frendz, hu drîv p in dogcarts, hv olrdi md ɖmslvz objx́ṇbl.

An īvnñ or tū ago I hd pt on a ẃît weistcot fr cūlnis, n ẃl wōcñ past wɖ mî ʈumz in mî weistcot pocits (a habit I hv), wn man, sītd in ɖ cart, n lcñ lîc an Americn, cmnst sññ sm vulgr nonsns abt “I hd ʈrtīn dolrz in mî weistcot pocit.” I fansid it wz mnt fr m, n mî sspiśnz wr cnfrmd; fr ẃl wōcñ rnd ɖ gardn in mî tōl hat ɖs afṭnun, a “ʈro-dǎn” cracr wz dlibṛtli emd at mî hat, n xplodd on it lîc a pcuśncap. I trnd śarpli, n am poẓtiv I sw ɖ man hu wz in ɖ cart rtritñ fṛm wn v ɖ bedrūm windoz.

Ōġst 27. – Cári n Msz. Jemz wnt of śopñ, n hd nt rtrnd ẃn I cem bac fṛm ɖ ofis. Jujñ fṛm ɖ subsiqnt convseśn, I am afreid Msz. Jemz z filñ Cári’z hed wɖ a lot v nonsns abt dres. I wōct ovr t Gowñ’z n asct him t drop in t supr, n mc ʈñz pleznt.

Cári priperd a litl xtmṗrîzd supr, cnsistñ v ɖ rmendr v ɖ cold jônt, a smōl pìs v samn (ẃć I wz t rfyz, in ces ɖr wz nt inuf t g rnd), n a bḷmonź n custdz. Ɖr wz olso a dcantr v port n sm jam pufs on ɖ sîdbōrd. Msz. Jemz md s ple rɖr a gd gem v cardz, cōld “Mugñz.” T mî s’prîz, in fact dsgust, Lūpin got p in ɖ midl, n, in a most sarcastic ton, sd: “Pardn m, ɖs sort v ʈñ z tù fast fr m, I śl g n injô a qayt gem v marblz in ɖ bacgardn.”Ʈñz mt hv bcm rɖr dis’griybl bt fr Gowñ (hu sīmz t hv tecn t Lūpin) sjstñ ɖe śd invnt gemz. Lūpin sd: “Let’s ple ‘munciz’.” H ɖen léd Gowñ ol rnd ɖ rūm, n bròt him in frunt v ɖ lcñglas. I mst cnfes I laft harṭli at ɖs. I wz a litl vxt at evrbdi subsiqntli lafñ at sm joc ẃć ɖe dd nt xplen, n it wz onli on gwñ t bed I dscuvrd I mst hv bn wōcñ abt ol ɖ īvnñ wɖ an antiṃcasr on wn butn v mî coțeilz.

Ōġst 28. – Faund a larj bric in ɖ midl bed v jrenịmz, evidntli cm fṛm nxt dor. Patlz & Patlz c’nt fînd a ples fr Lūpin.

Ōġst 29. – Msz. Jemz z mcñ a poẓtiv fūl v Cári. Cári apird in a ny dres lîc a smóc-froc. Ś sd “smócñ” wz ol ɖ rej. I rplaid it pt m in a rej. Ś olso hd on a hat az big az a cićn colscutl, n ɖ sem śep. Msz. Jemz wnt hom, n bʈ Lūpin n I wr smẃt plizd – ɖ frst tîm w hv agrìd on a sngl subjict sins hiz rtrn. Mrcinz & Sun rait ɖe hv no vecnsi fr Lūpin.

Octobr 30. – I śd vri mć lîc t nǒ hu hz wilf̣li torn ɖ last fîv or six wīcs ǎt v mî dayri. It z prf̣cli monstṛs! Mîn z a larj scriḅlñdayri, wɖ plenti v spes fr ɖ rec̣d v mî evride ivnts, n in cīpñ p ɖt rec̣d I tec (wɖ mć prîd) a gret dīl v penz.

I asct Cári f ś ń enʈñ abt it. Ś rplaid it wz mî ǒn fōlt fr līvñ ɖ dayri abt wɖ a ćarwmn clīnñ n ɖ swīps in ɖ hǎs. I sd ɖt wz nt an ansr t mî qsćn. Ɖs rtort v mîn, ẃć I ʈt xtrimli smart, wd hv bn mor ifctiv hd I nt jogd mî elbo agnst a vāz on a tebl tmprṛli plest in ɖ pasij, noct it ovr, n smaśt it.Cári wz dredf̣li upset at ɖs dzastr, fr it wz wn v a per v vāzz ẃć canot b maćt, gvn t s on ǎr wedñde bî Msz. Brtset, an old frend v Cári’z cuznz, ɖ Poṃtnz, lêt v Dōlstn. I cōld t Sẹra, n asct hr abt ɖ dayri. Ś sd ś hd nt bn in ɖ sitñrūm at ol; aftr ɖ swīp hd left, Msz. Biṛl (ɖ ćarwmn) hd clīnd ɖ rūm n lîtd ɖ fîr hrslf. Fîndñ a brnt pìs v pepr in ɖ greit, I xamind it, n faund it wz a pìs v mî dayri. So it wz evidnt smwn hd torn mî dayri t lît ɖ fîr. I rqstd Msz. Biṛl t b snt t m tmoro.

Octobr 31. – Rsivd a letr fṛm ǎr prinsipl, Mr. Prcup, seyñ ɖt h ʈncs h nz v a ples at last fr ǎr dir bô Lūpin. Ɖs, in a meźr, cnsolz m fr ɖ los v a porśn v mî dayri; fr I am baund t cnfes ɖ last fy wīcs hv bn dvotd t ɖ rec̣d v dis’pôntñ ansrz rsivd fṛm ppl t hūm I hv aplaid fr apôntmnts fr Lūpin. Msz. Biṛl cōld, n, in rplî t m, sd: “Ś nvr si no bc, mć les tec sć a liḅti az tuć it.”

I sd I wz dtrmind t fînd ǎt hu dd it, ẃr’pn ś sd ś wd d hr bst t hlp m; bt ś rmembrd ɖ swīp lîtñ ɖ fîr wɖ a bit v ɖ Eco. I rqstd ɖ swīp t b snt t m tmoro. I wś Cári hd nt gvn Lūpin a laćci; w nvr sīm t si enʈñ v him. I sat p tl past wn fr him, n ɖen rtîrd tîrd.

Nvmbr 1. – Mî entri yesṭde abt “rtîrd tîrd,” ẃć I dd nt notis at ɖ tîm, z rɖr funi. F I wr nt so wurid jst nǎ, I mt hv hd a litl joc abt it. Ɖ swīp cōld, bt hd ɖ ōdaṣti t cm p t ɖ hōldor n līn hiz drti bag v st on ɖ dorstep. H, hvr, wz so p’lît, I cd nt rbyc him. H sd Sẹra lîtd ɖ fîr. Unforćṇtli, Sẹra hŕd ɖs, fr ś wz dustñ ɖ banistrz, n ś ran dǎn, n flù intu a tmpr wɖ ɖ swīp, cōzñ a rǎ on ɖ fruntdor-steps, ẃć I wd nt hv hd hapn fr enʈñ. I ordrd hr abt hr biznis, n tld ɖ swīp I wz sori t hv trubld him; n so I wz, fr ɖ dorsteps wr cuvrd wɖ st in consiqns v hiz vizit. I wd wilñli gv ten śilñz t fînd ǎt hu tòr mî dayri.

Nvmbr 2. – I spent ɖ īvnñ qaytli wɖ Cári, v huz cumṗni I nvr tîr. W hd a most pleznt ćat abt ɖ letrz on “Z Marij a Fełr?” It hz bn no fełr in ǎr ces. In tōcñ ovr ǎr ǒn hapi xpirịnsz, w nvr notist ɖt it wz past midnît. W wr startld bî hírñ ɖ dor slam vayḷntli. Lūpin hd cm in. H md no atmt t trn dǎn ɖ gas in ɖ pasij, or īvn t lc intu ɖ rūm ẃr w wr, bt wnt stret p t bed, mcñ a teṛbl nôz. I asct him t cm dǎn fr a momnt, n h begd t b xkzd, az h wz “ded bìt,” an obẓveśn ɖt wz scersli cnsistnt wɖ ɖ fact ɖt, fr a qortr v an aur aftwdz, h wz poztivli dansñ in hiz rūm, n śǎtñ ǎt, “Si m dans ɖ polca!” or sm sć nonsns.

Nvmbr 3. – Gd nyz at last. Mr. Prcup hz got an apôntmnt fr Lūpin, n h z t g n si abt it on Munde. Ǒ, hǎ mî mînd z rlivd! I wnt t Lūpin’z rūm t tec ɖ gd nyz t him, bt h wz in bed, vri sīdi, so I rzolvd t cīp it ovr tl ɖ īvnñ.

H sd h hd last nît bn ilectd a membr v an Aṃćr Dṛmatic Club, cōld ɖ “Hoḷwe Cmīdịnz”; n, ɖo it wz a pleznt īvnñ, h hd sat in a dráft, n got ńralja in ɖ hed. H dclînd t hv eni brecfst, so I left him. In ɖ īvnñ I hd p a speśl botl v port, n, Lūpin biyñ in fr a wundr, w fild ǎr glasz, n I sd: “Lūpin mî bô, I hv sm gd n unixpctd nyz fr y. Mr. Prcup hz pṛkrd y an apôntmnt!” Lūpin sd: “Gd biz!” n w drend ǎr glasz.Lūpin ɖen sd: “Fil p ɖ glasz agn, fr I hv sm gd n unixpctd nyz fr y.”

Mr. Perkupp.
Mr. Prcup

I hd sm slît msgvñz, n so evidntli hd Cári, fr ś sd: “I hop w śl ʈnc it gd nyz.”

Lūpin sd: “Ǒ, it’s ol rît! I’m ingejd t b marid!

Lupin said: "I'm engaged to be married."
Lūpin sd: “Ǒ, it’s ol rît! I’m ingejd t b marid!”

ĆAPTR VIII

Deizi Mutlr sol topic v convseśn. Lūpin’z ny bŕʈ. Fîrwrcs at ɖ Cumñz’. Ɖ “Hoḷwe Cmīdịnz.” Sẹra qoṛlz wɖ ɖ ćarwmn. Lūpin’z uncōld-fr inṭfiṛns. Am intṛdyst t Deizi Mutlr. W dsîd t gv a parti in hr onr.

Nvmbr 5, Súnde. – Cári n I trubld abt ɖt mir bô Lūpin gtñ ingejd t b marid wɖt cnsultñ s or enʈñ. Aftr dinr h tld s ol abt it. H sd ɖ ledi’z nem wz Deizi Mutlr, n ś wz ɖ nîsist, pritiist, n most acumpliśt grl h evr met. H luvd hr ɖ momnt h sw hr, n f h hd t wêt fifti yirz h wd wêt, n h ń ś wd wêt fr him.

Lūpin frɖr sd, wɖ mć wormʈ, ɖt ɖ wrld wz a difṛnt wrld t him nǎ, – it wz a wrld wrʈ livñ in. H livd wɖ an objict nǎ, n ɖt wz t mc Deizi Mutlr – Deizi Pūtr, n h wd gaṛnti ś wd nt dsgres ɖ faṃli v ɖ Pūtrz. Cári hir brst ǎt crayñ, n ʈrù hr armz rnd hiz nec, n in dwñ so, upset ɖ glas v port h hld in hiz hand ol ovr hiz ny lît trǎzrz.I sd I hd no dǎt w śd lîc Mis Mutlr ẃn w sw hr, bt Cári sd ś luvd hr olrdi. I ʈt ɖs rɖr preṃtyr, bt hld mî tuñ. Deizi Mutlr wz ɖ sol topic v convseśn fr ɖ rmendr v ɖ de. I asct Lūpin hu hr ppl wr, n h rplaid: “Ǒ, y nǒ Mutlr, Wiłmz & Wots.” I dd nt nǒ, bt rfrend fṛm ascñ eni frɖr qsćnz at preznt, fr fir v iṛtetñ Lūpin.

Nvmbr 6. – Lūpin wnt wɖ m t ɖ ofis, n hd a loñ convseśn wɖ Mr. Prcup, ǎr prinsipl, ɖ rzult v ẃć wz ɖt h axptd a clarcśp in ɖ frm v Jǒb Clenndz & Co., Stoc & Śer Brocrz. Lūpin tld m, prîṿtli, it wz an advtîzñ frm, n h dd nt ʈnc mć v it. I rplaid: “Begrz śd nt b ćuzrz;” n I wl d Lūpin ɖ justis t se, h lct rɖr aśemd v himslf.

In ɖ īvnñ w wnt rnd t ɖ Cumñz’, t hv a fy fîrwrcs. It bgan t ren, n I ʈt it rɖr dul. Wn v mî sqibz wd nt g of, n Gowñ sd: “Hit it on yr būt, bô; it wl g of ɖen.” I gev it a fy nocs on ɖ end v mî būt, n it wnt of wɖ wn lǎd xploźn, n brnt mî fngrz rɖr badli. I gev ɖ rest v ɖ sqibz t ɖ litl Cumñz’ bô t let of.Anɖr unforćṇt ʈñ hapnd, ẃć bròt a hīp v abys on mî hed. Cumñz fasnd a larj ẃīl-setpìs on a stec in ɖ grǎnd bî we v a grand fināle. H md a gret fus abt it; sd it cost sevn śilñz. Ɖr wz a litl dificlti in gtñ it alît. At last it wnt of; bt aftr a cupl v slo reṿluśnz it stopt. I hd mî stic wɖ m, so I gev it a tap t snd it rnd, n, unforćṇtli, it fél of ɖ stec on t ɖ gras. Enbdi wd hv ʈt I hd set ɖ hǎs on fîr fṛm ɖ we in ẃć ɖe stormd at m. I wl nvr jôn in eni mor fîrwrc-partiz. It z a r’dikḷs west v tîm n muni.

Nvmbr 7. – Lūpin asct Cári t cōl on Msz. Mutlr, bt Cári sd ś ʈt Msz. Mutlr òt t cōl on hr frst. I agrìd wɖ Cári, n ɖs léd t an arğmnt. Hvr, ɖ matr wz setld bî Cári seyñ ś cd nt fînd eni viẓtñcardz, n w mst gt sm mor printd, n ẃn ɖe wr finiśt wd b qt tîm inuf t dscus ɖ eticét v cōlñ.

Nvmbr 8. – I ordrd sm v ǎr cardz at Blac’s, ɖ steṣ́nrz. I ordrd twenti-fîv v ć, ẃć wl last s fr a gd loñ tîm. In ɖ īvnñ, Lūpin bròt in Hari Mutlr, Mis Mutlr’z bruɖr. H wz rɖr a gōci yʈ, n Lūpin sd h wz ɖ most popylr n bst aṃćr in ɖ club, rfŕñ t ɖ “Hoḷwe Cmīdịnz.” Lūpin ẃisprd t s ɖt f w cd onli “drw ǎt” Hari a bit, h wd mc s ror wɖ laftr.

At supr, yuñ Mutlr dd sevṛl aḿzñ ʈñz. H tc p a nîf, n wɖ ɖ flat part v it pleid a tyn on hiz ćīc in a wundrfl manr. H olso gev an iṃteśn v an old man wɖ no tīʈ, smocñ a big sgar. Ɖ we h cept dropñ ɖ sgar snt Cári intu fits.In ɖ cors v convseśn, Deizi’z nem cropt p, n yuñ Mutlr sd h wd brñ hiz sistr rnd t s wn īvnñ – hiz peṛnts biyñ rɖr old-faśnd, n nt gwñ ǎt mć. Cári sd w wd gt p a litl speśl parti. Az yuñ Mutlr śoud no incḷneśn t g, n it wz aproćñ ilevn o’cloc, az a hint I rmîndd Lūpin ɖt h hd t b p rli tmoro. Instd v tecñ ɖ hint, Mutlr bgan a siriz v comic iṃteśnz. H wnt on fr an aur wɖt sseśn. Pur Cári cd scersli cīp hr îz opn. At last ś md an xks, n sd “Gdnît.”

Mutlr ɖen left, n I hŕd him n Lūpin ẃisṗrñ in ɖ hōl smʈñ abt ɖ “Hoḷwe Cmīdịnz,” n t mî dsgust, olɖo it wz past midnît, Lūpin pt on hiz hat n cot, n wnt ǎt wɖ hiz ny cmpańn.

Nvmbr 9. – Mî indevrz t dscuvr hu tòr ɖ śīts ǎt v mî dayri stl frūtlis. Lūpin hz Deizi Mutlr on ɖ bren, so w si litl v him, xpt ɖt h inverịbli trnz p at mīltîmz. Cumñz dropt in.

Nvmbr 10. – Lūpin sīmz t lîc hiz ny bŕʈ – ɖt’s a cumf̣t. Deizi Mutlr ɖ sol topic v convseśn jrñ ti. Cári olmst az fl v it az Lūpin. Lūpin informz m, t mî dsgust, ɖt h hz bn pswedd t tec part in ɖ fʈcmñ pformns v ɖ “Hoḷwe Cmīdịnz.” H sz h z t ple Bob Brićz in ɖ fars, Gn t mî Uncl’z; Franc Mutlr z gwñ t ple old Musti. I tld Lūpin priti plenli I wz nt in ɖ līst dgri inṭrestd in ɖ matr, n toṭli dis’pruvd v aṃćrʈiatriclz. Gowñ cem in ɖ īvnñ.

Nvmbr 11. – Rtrnd hom t fînd ɖ hǎs in a most dsgresfl upror. Cári, hu apird vri frîtnd, wz standñ ǎtsd hr bedrūm, ẃl Sẹra wz xîtd n crayñ. Msz. Biṛl (ɖ ćarwmn), hu hd evidntli bn drincñ, wz śǎtñ at ɖ top v hr vôs ɖt ś wz “no ʈīf, ɖt ś wz a rspctbl wmn, hu hd t wrc hard fr hr livñ, n ś wd smac enwn’z fes hu pt lîz intu hr mǎʈ.” Lūpin, huz bac wz twdz m, dd nt hír m cm in. H wz standñ btwn ɖ tū wimin, n, I rgret t se, in hiz indevr t act az pīs-mcr, h md ys v rɖr stroñ lanḡj in ɖ prezns v hiz muɖr; n I wz jst in tîm t hír him se: “N ol ɖs fus abt ɖ los v a fy pejz fṛm a rotn dayri ɖt wd’nt feć ʈri-hepns a pǎnd!” I sd, qaytli: “Pardn m, Lūpin, ɖt z a matr v opińn; n az I am mastr v ɖs hǎs, phps y wl alǎ m t tec ɖ reinz.”

I aṣtend ɖt ɖ cōz v ɖ rǎ wz, ɖt Sẹra hd akzd Msz. Biṛl v tẹrñ ɖ pejz ǎt v mî dayri t ráp p sm cićnfat n līvñz ẃć ś hd tecn ǎt v ɖ hǎs last wīc. Msz. Biṛl hd slapt Sẹra’z fes, n sd ś hd tecn nʈñ ǎt v ɖ ples, az ɖr wz “nvr no līvñz t tec.” I ordrd Sẹra bac t hr wrc, n rqstd Msz. Biṛl t g hom. Ẃn I entrd ɖ parlr Lūpin wz cicñ hiz legz in ɖ er, n rorñ wɖ laftr.

Nvmbr 12, Súnde. – Cmñ hom fṛm ćrć Cári n I met Lūpin, Deizi Mutlr, n hr bruɖr. Deizi wz intṛdyst t s, n w wōct hom tgɖr, Cári wōcñ on wɖ Mis Mutlr. W asct ɖm in fr a fy minits, n I hd a gd lc at mî fyćr dōtr-in-lw. Mî hart qt sanc. Ś z a big yuñ wmn, n I śd ʈnc at līst et yirz oldr ɖn Lūpin. I dd nt īvn ʈnc hr gd-lcñ. Cári asct hr f ś cd cm in on Wenzde nxt wɖ hr bruɖr t mīt a fy frendz. Ś rplaid ɖt ś wd onli b tù plizd.

Nvmbr 13. – Cári snt ǎt invteśnz t Gowñ, ɖ Cumñz, t Mr. n Msz. Jemz (v Sutn), n Mr. Stilbrŭc. I rout a not t Mr. Franćñ, v Pecm. Cári sd w me az wel mc it a nîs afer, n ẃ nt asc ǎr prinsipl, Mr. Prcup? I sd I fird w wr nt qt grand inuf fr him. Cári sd ɖr wz “no ofns in ascñ him.” I sd: “Srtnli nt,” n I rout him a letr. Cári cnfest ś wz a litl dis’pôntd wɖ Deizi Mutlr’z apiṛns, bt ʈt ś sīmd a nîs grl.

Daisy Mutlar
Deizi Mutlr

Nvmbr 14. – Evrbdi so far hz axptd fr ǎr qt grand litl parti fr tmoro. Mr. Prcup, in a nîs letr ẃć I śl cīp, rout ɖt h wz dînñ in Cnzñtn, bt f h cd gt awe, h wd cm p t Hoḷwe fr an aur. Cári wz bizi ol de, mcñ litl cecs n opn jam pufs n jéliz. Ś sd ś flt qt nrṿs abt hr rsponsbiḷtiz tmoro īvnñ. W dsîdd t hv sm lît ʈñz on ɖ tebl, sć az sanẉjz, cold ćicn n ham, n sm swīts, n on ɖ sîdbōrd a nîs pìs v cold bīf n a Pîsandu tuñ – fr ɖ mor hungri wnz t peg intu f ɖe lîct.

Gowñ cōld t nǒ f h wz t pt on “swoloteilz” tmoro. Cári sd h hd betr dres, ispeṣ́li az Mr. Franćñ wz cmñ, n ɖr wz a posbiḷti v Mr. Prcup olso ptñ in an apiṛns.Gowñ sd: “Ǒ, I onli wontd t nǒ, fr I hv nt wòrn mî drescot fr sm tîm, n I mst snd it t hv ɖ crīsz prest ǎt.”

Aftr Gowñ left, Lūpin cem in, n in hiz añzayti t plīz Deizi Mutlr, carpt at n criṭsîzd ɖ arenjmnts, n, in fact, dis’pruvd v evrʈñ, includñ ǎr hvñ asct ǎr old frend Cumñz, hu, h sd, wd lc in īvnñdres lîc a grīngrosr ingejd t wêt, n hu mst nt b s’prîzd f Deizi tc him fr wn.

I ferli lost mî tmpr, n sd: “Lūpin, alǎ m t tel y Mis Deizi Mutlr z nt ɖ Qīn v Ñgḷnd. I gev y credit fr mor wizdm ɖn t alǎ yrslf t b invegld intu an ingejmnt wɖ a wmn cnsidṛbli oldr ɖn yrslf. I advîz y t ʈnc v rnñ yr livñ bfr intanglñ yrslf wɖ a wîf hūm y wl hv t s’port, n, in ol probbiḷti, hr bruɖr olso, hu apird t b nʈñ bt a loufr.”

Instd v rsivñ ɖs advîs in a snṣbl manr, Lūpin jumt p n sd: “F y insult ɖ ledi I am ingejd t, y insult m. I wl līv ɖ hǎs n nvr darcn yr dorz agn.”

H wnt ǎt v ɖ hǎs, slamñ ɖ hōldor. Bt it wz olrît. H cem bac t supr, n w pleid Bzīc tl nirli twelv o’cloc.

ĆAPTR IX

Ǎr frst importnt Parti. Old Frendz n Ny Frendz. Gowñ z a litl anoyñ; bt hiz frend, Mr. Stilbrŭc, trnz ǎt t b qt aḿzñ. Inoṗtyn arîvl v Mr. Prcup, bt h z most cînd n compḷmntri. Parti a gret s’xes.

Nvmbr 15. – A red-letr de. Ǎr frst importnt parti sins w hv bn in ɖs hǎs. I got hom rli fṛm ɖ Siti. Lūpin insistd on hvñ a hîrd wêtr, n std a haf-duzn v śampen. I ʈnc ɖs an uņesṣri xpns, bt Lūpin sd h hd hd a pìs v luc, hvñ md ʈri pǎndz ǎt v a prîṿt dīl in ɖ Siti. I hop h w’nt gambl in hiz ny sićueśn. Ɖ supŗūm lct so nîs, n Cári trūli sd: “W nīd nt b aśemd v its biyñ sìn bî Mr. Prcup, śd h onr s bî cmñ.”

I drest rli in ces ppl śd arîv puñć̣li at et o’cloc, n wz mć vxt t fînd mî ny drestrǎzrz mć tù śort.Lūpin, hu z gtñ bynd hiz pziśn, faund fōlt wɖ mî wẹrñ ordnri būts instd v dresbūts.

I rplaid s’tiricli: “Mî dir sun, I hv livd t b abv ɖt sort v ʈñ.”

Lūpin brst ǎt lafñ, n sd: “A man jenṛli wz abv hiz būts.”

Ɖs me b funi, or it me nt; bt I wz graṭfaid t fînd h hd nt dscuvrd ɖ coṛl hd cm of wn v mî studz. Cári lct a picćr, wẹrñ ɖ dres ś wòr at ɖ Manśnhǎs. Ɖ arenjmnt v ɖ drw̃rūm wz xḷnt. Cári hd huñ muzlin crtnz ovr ɖ foldñdorz, n olso ovr wn v ɖ entṛnsz, fr w hd rmuvd ɖ dor fṛm its hinjz.

Mr. Pītrz, ɖ wêtr, arîvd in gd tîm, n I gev him strict ordrz nt t opn anɖr botl v śampen untl ɖ prīvịs wn wz emti. Cári arenjd fr sm śeri n portwîn t b plest on ɖ drw̃rūm sîdbōrd, wɖ sm glasz. Bî-ɖ-bî, ǎr ny inlarjd n tintd foṭgrafs lc vri nîs on ɖ wōlz, ispeṣ́li az Cári hz arenjd sm Liḅti silc boz on ɖ for cornrz v ɖm.

Ɖ frst arîvl wz Gowñ, hu, wɖ hiz yźl test, grītd m wɖ: “Hlo, Pūtr, ẃ yr trǎzrz r tù śort!”

I simpli sd: “Vri lîcli, n y wl fînd mî tmpr ‘śort’ olso.”

H sd: “Ɖt w’nt mc yr trǎzrz longr, Juginz. Y śd gt yr mis t pt a flǎns on ɖm.”

I wundr I west mî tîm enṭrñ hiz insultñ obẓveśnz in mî dayri.

Ɖ nxt arîvlz wr Mr. n Msz. Cumñz. Ɖ formr sd: “Az y dd’nt se enʈñ abt dres, I hv cm ‘haf dres.’” H hd on a blac froc̦ot n ẃît tî. Ɖ Jemz’, Mr. Mrtn, n Mr. Stilbrŭc arîvd, bt Lūpin wz restlis n unbeṛbl tl hiz Deizi Mutlr n Franc arîvd.

Cári n I wr rɖr startld at Deizi’z apiṛns. Ś hd a brît-crimzn dres on, cut vri lo in ɖ nec. I d nt ʈnc sć a stîl modist. Ś òt t hv tecn a lésn fṛm Cári, n cuvrd hr śoldrz wɖ a litl lês. Mr. Naclz, Mr. Sprîs-Hóg n hiz for dōtrz cem; so dd Franćñ, n wn or tū v Lūpin’z ny frendz, membrz v ɖ “Hoḷwe Cmīdịnz.” Sm v ɖz sīmd rɖr ʈiatricl in ɖer manr, ispeṣ́li wn, hu wz pozñ ol ɖ īvnñ, n lent on ǎr litl rnd tebl n cract it. Lūpin cōld him “ǎr Õri,” n sd h wz “ǎr līd at ɖ H.C.’z,” n wz qt az gd in ɖt dpartmnt az Hari Mutlr wz az ɖ lo-coṃdi mrćnt. Ol ɖs z Grīc t m.

W hd sm ḿzic, n Lūpin, hu nvr left Deizi’z sîd fr a momnt, revd ovr hr sññ v a soñ, cōld “Sm De.” It sīmd a priti soñ, bt ś md sć griṃsz, n sañ, t mî mînd, so ǎt v tyn, I wd nt hv asct hr t sñ agn; bt Lūpin md hr sñ for soñz rît of, wn aftr ɖ uɖr.

At ten o’cloc w wnt dǎn t supr, n fṛm ɖ we Gowñ n Cumñz ét y wd hv ʈt ɖe hd nt hd a mīl fr a munʈ. I tld Cári t cīp smʈñ bac in ces Mr. Prcup śd cm bî mir ćans. Gowñ anoid m vri mć bî filñ a larj tumblr v śampen, n drincñ it stret of. H rpitd ɖs ax́n, n md m fir ǎr haf-duzn v śampen wd nt last ǎt. I traid t cīp a botl bac, bt Lūpin got hold v it, n tc it t ɖ sîdtebl wɖ Deizi n Franc Mutlr.

W wnt upsterz, n ɖ yuñ feloz bgan scîlarcñ. Cári pt a stop t ɖt at wns. Stilbrŭc aḿzd s wɖ a soñ, “Ẃt hv y dn wɖ yr Cuzn Jon?” I dd nt notis ɖt Lūpin n Franc hd dis’pird. I asct Mr. Wotsn, wn v ɖ Hoḷwez, ẃr ɖe wr, n h sd: “It’s a ces v ‘Ǒ, ẃt a s’prîz!’”

W wr d’rectd t form a srcl – ẃć w dd. Wotsn ɖen sd: “I hv mć pleźr in intṛdysñ ɖ seḷbretd Blondin Donci.” Franc n Lūpin ɖen bǎndd intu ɖ rūm. Lūpin hd ẃîtnd hiz fes lîc a clǎn, n Franc hd taid rnd hiz weist a larj harʈrug. H wz s’pozd t b ɖ donci, n h lct it. Ɖe induljd in a vri nôzi panṭmîm, n w wr ol śrīcñ wɖ laftr.

I trnd rnd sudnli, n ɖen I sw Mr. Prcup standñ hafwe in ɖ dor, h hvñ arîvd wɖt ǎr nwñ it. I becnd t Cári, n w wnt p t him at wns. H wd nt cm rît intu ɖ rūm. I apoḷjîzd fr ɖ fūḷri, bt Mr. Prcup sd: “Ǒ, it sīmz aḿzñ.” I cd si h wz nt a bit aḿzd.

Cári n I tc him dǎnsterz, bt ɖ tebl wz a rec. Ɖr wz nt a glas v śampen left – nt īvn a sanwij. Mr. Prcup sd h rqîrd nʈñ, bt wd lîc a glas v sltsr or soḍwōtr. Ɖ last sîfn wz emti. Cári sd: “W hv plenti v portwîn left.” Mr. Prcup sd, wɖ a smîl: “No, ʈanc y. I riyli rqîr nʈñ, bt I am most plizd t si y n yr huzbnd in yr ǒn hom. Gdnît, Msz. Pūtr – y wl xkz mî vri śort ste, I nǒ.” I wnt wɖ him t hiz carij, n h sd: “D’nt trubl t cm t ɖ ofis tl twelv tmoro.”

I flt dspondnt az I wnt bac t ɖ hǎs, n I tld Cári I ʈt ɖ parti wz a fełr. Cári sd it wz a gret s’xes, n I wz onli tîrd, n insistd on mî hvñ sm port mslf. I dranc tū glasz, n flt mć betr, n w wnt intu ɖ drw̃rūm, ẃr ɖe hd cmnst dansñ. Cári n I hd a litl dans, ẃć I sd rmîndd m v old dez. Ś sd I wz a spūni old ʈñ.

ĆAPTR X

Rflex́nz. I mc anɖr Gd Joc. Am anoid at ɖ constnt srvñ-up v ɖ “Bḷmōź.” Lūpin xpresz hiz opińn v Wedñz. Lūpin fōlz ǎt wɖ Deizi Mutlr.

Nvmbr 16. – Wouc abt twenti tîmz jrñ ɖ nît, wɖ teṛbl ʈrst. Finiśt of ol ɖ wōtr in ɖ botl, az wel az haf ɖt in ɖ jug. Cept drīmñ olso, ɖt last nît’s parti wz a fełr, n ɖt a lot v lo ppl cem wɖt invteśn, n cept ćafñ n ʈrowñ ʈñz at Mr. Prcup, tl at last I wz oblîjd t hîd him in ɖ boxrūm (ẃć w hd jst dscuvrd), wɖ a baʈtǎl ovr him. It sīmz absrd nǎ, bt it wz penf̣li riyl in ɖ drīm. I hd ɖ sem drīm abt a duzn tîmz.

Cári anoid m bî seyñ: “Y nǒ śampen nvr agriz wɖ y.” I tld hr I hd onli a cupl v glasz v it, hvñ cept mslf intîrli t port. I add ɖt gd śampen hrt nbdi, n Lūpin tld m h hd onli got it fṛm a travlr az a fevr, az ɖt ptiklr brand hd bn intîrli bòt p bî a Wst-End club.I ʈnc I ét tù harṭli v ɖ “sîḑiśz,” az ɖ wêtr cōld ɖm. I sd t Cári: “I wś I hd pt ɖoz ‘sîḑiśz’ asd.” I rpitd ɖs, bt Cári wz bizi, pacñ p ɖ tīspūnz w hd boroud v Msz. Cumñz fr ɖ parti. It wz jst haf-past ilevn, n I wz startñ fr ɖ ofis, ẃn Lūpin apird, wɖ a yelo cmplex́n, n sd: “Hlo! Guv., ẃt prîst hed hv y ɖs mornñ?” I tld him h mt jst az wel spīc t m in Duć. H add: “Ẃn I wouc ɖs mornñ, mî hed wz az big az Bōldwin’z b’lūn.” On ɖ spr v ɖ momnt I sd ɖ cleṿrist ʈñ I ʈnc I hv evr sd; viz.: “Phps ɖt acǎnts fr ɖ paṛśū penz.” W rord.

Nvmbr 17. – Stl fīl tîrd n hed-eci! In ɖ īvnñ Gowñ cōld, n wz fl v prêz abt ǎr parti last Wenzde. H sd evrʈñ wz dn bytifli, n h injoid himslf inorṃsli. Gowñ cn b a vri nîs felo ẃn h lîcs, bt y nvr nǒ hǎ loñ it wl last. Fr instns, h stopt t supr, n siyñ sm bḷmōź on ɖ tebl, śǎtd ǎt, ẃl ɖ srvnt wz in ɖ rūm: “Hlo! Ɖ rmenz v Wenzde?”

Nvmbr 18. – Wouc p qt freś aftr a gd nît’s rest, n fīl qt mslf agn. I am saṭsfaid a lîf v gwñ-ǎt n Ssayti z nt a lîf fr m; w ɖrfr dclînd ɖ invteśn ẃć w rsivd ɖs mornñ t Mis Brd’z wedñ. W onli met hr twîs at Msz. Jemz’, n it mīnz a preznt. Lūpin sd: “I am wɖ y fr wns. T mî mînd a wedñ’z a vri pur ple. Ɖr r onli tū parts in it – ɖ brîd n brîdgrūm. Ɖ bst man z onli a wōcñ jntlmn. Wɖ ɖ xpśn v a crayñ faɖr n a sniṿlñ muɖr, ɖ rest r sūprz hu hv t dres wel n hv t pe fr ɖer inṣgnificnt parts in ɖ śep v costli preznts.” I dd nt cer fr ɖ ʈiatricl slañ, bt ʈt it clevr, ɖo disrispctfl.

I tld Sẹra nt t brñ p ɖ bḷmōź agn fr brecfst. It sīmz t hv bn plest on ǎr tebl at evri mīl sins Wenzde. Cumñz cem rnd in ɖ īvnñ, n cngrać̣letd s on ɖ s’xes v ǎr parti. H sd it wz ɖ bst parti h hd bn t fr mni a yir; bt h wśt w hd let him nǒ it wz fl dres, az h wd hv trnd p in hiz swoloteilz. W sat dǎn t a qayt gem v doṃnoz, n wr inṭruptd bî ɖ nôzi entṛns v Lūpin n Franc Mutlr. Cumñz n I asct ɖm t jôn s. Lūpin sd h dd nt cer fr doṃnoz, n sjstd a gem v “Spūf.” On mî ascñ f it rqîrd cǎntrz, Franc n Lūpin in meźrd tîm sd: “Wn, tū, ʈri; g! Hv y an istet in Grīnḷnd?” It wz simpli Grīc t m, bt it apirz it z wn v ɖ custmz v ɖ “Hoḷwe Cmīdịnz” t d ɖs ẃn a membr dsplez ignṛns.In spît v mî instrux́nz, ɖt bḷmōź wz bròt p agn fr supr. T mc matrz wrs, ɖr hd bn an atmt t dsgîz it, bî plesñ it in a glas diś wɖ jam rnd it. Cári asct Lūpin f h wd hv sm, n h rplaid: “No secnd-hand gdz fr m, ʈanc y.” I tld Cári, ẃn w wr alon, f ɖt bḷmōź wr plest on ɖ tebl agn I śd wōc ǎt v ɖ hǎs.

Nvmbr 19, Súnde. – A dlîtf̣li qayt de. In ɖ afṭnun Lūpin wz of t spend ɖ rest v ɖ de wɖ ɖ Mutlrz. H dpartd in ɖ bst v spirits, n Cári sd: “Wel, wn advantij v Lūpin’z ingejmnt wɖ Deizi z ɖt ɖ bô sīmz hapi ol de loñ. Ɖt qt recnsîlz m t ẃt I mst cnfes sīmz an imprūdnt ingejmnt.”

Cári n I tōct ɖ matr ovr jrñ ɖ īvnñ, n agrìd ɖt it dd nt olwz folo ɖt an rli ingejmnt mnt an unhapi marij. Dir Cári rmîndd m ɖt w marid rli, n, wɖ ɖ xpśn v a fy trivịl misunḍstandñz, w hd nvr hd a riyli sirịs wrd. I cd nt hlp ʈncñ (az I tld hr) ɖt haf ɖ pleźrz v lîf wr d’rîvd fṛm ɖ litl struglz n smōl priveśnz ɖt wn hd t indyr at ɖ bginñ v wn’z marid lîf. Sć struglz wr jenṛli oceźnd bî wont v mīnz, n ofn hlpt t mc luvñ cuplz stand tgɖr ol ɖ frmr.Cári sd I hd xprest mslf wundrf̣li wel, n ɖt I wz qt a f’loṣfr.

W r ol ven at tîmz, n I mst cnfes I flt flatrd bî Cári’z litl complimnt. I d’nt pritnd t b ebl t xpres mslf in fîn lanḡj, bt I fīl I hv ɖ pǎr v xpresñ mî ʈts wɖ simpliṣti n lūsidnis. Abt nîn o’cloc, t ǎr s’prîz, Lūpin entrd, wɖ a wîld, reclis lc, n in a holo vôs, ẃć I mst se sīmd rɖr ʈiatricl, sd: “Hv y eni brandi?” I sd: “No; bt hir z sm ẃisci.” Lūpin dranc of nirli a wînglasfl wɖt wōtr, t mî horr.

W ol ʈri sat rīdñ in sîḷns tl ten, ẃn Cári n I rouz t g t bed. Cári sd t Lūpin: “I hop Deizi z wel?”

Lūpin, wɖ a forst cerlis er ɖt h mst hv pict p fṛm ɖ “Hoḷwe Cmīdịnz,” rplaid: “Ǒ, Deizi? Y mīn Mis Mutlr. I d’nt nǒ ẃɖr ś z wel or nt, bt plīz nvr t mnśn hr nem agn in mî prezns.”

ĆAPTR XI

W hv a dos v Ŕvñ iṃteśnz. Mc ɖ aqentns v a Mr. Paj. D’nt cer fr him. Mr. Brwin-Fosltn bcmz a ńsns.

Nvmbr 20. – Hv sìn nʈñ v Lūpin ɖ hol de. Bòt a ćīp adres-bc. I spent ɖ īvnñ copiyñ in ɖ nemz n adresz v mî frendz n aqentnsz. Left ǎt ɖ Mutlrz v cors.

Nvmbr 21. – Lūpin trnd p fr a fy minits in ɖ īvnñ. H asct fr a drop v brandi wɖ a sort v cerlis lc, ẃć t mî mînd wz ʈiatricl n qt inifctiv. I sd: “Mî bô, I hv nn, n I d’nt ʈnc I śd gv it y f I hd.” Lūpin sd: “I’l g ẃr I cn gt sm,” n wōct ǎt v ɖ hǎs. Cári tc ɖ bô’z part, n ɖ rest v ɖ īvnñ wz spent in a dis’griybl dscuśn, in ẃć ɖ wrdz “Deizi” n “Mutlr” mst hv ocŕd a ʈǎznd tîmz.

Nvmbr 22. – Gowñ n Cumñz dropt in jrñ ɖ īvnñ. Lūpin olso cem in, brññ hiz frend, Mr. Brwin-Fosltn – wn v ɖ “Hoḷwe Cmīdịnz” – hu wz at ǎr parti ɖ uɖr nît, n hu cract ǎr litl rnd tebl. Hapi t se Deizi Mutlr wz nvr rfŕd t. Ɖ convseśn wz olmst intîrli mnoṗlîzd bî ɖ yuñ felo Fosltn, hu nt onli lct rɖr lîc Mr. Ŕvñ, bt sīmd t imajin ɖt h wz ɖ seḷbretd actr. I mst se h gev sm capitl iṃteśnz v him. Az h śoud no sînz v muvñ at supr tîm, I sd: “F y lîc t ste, Mr. Fosltn, fr ǎr yźl crust – pre d.” H rplaid: “Ǒ! ʈancs; bt plīz cōl m Brwin-Fosltn. It z a dubl nem. Ɖr r lots v Fosltnz, bt plīz cōl m Brwin-Fosltn.”

H bgan dwñ ɖ Ŕvñ biznis ol ʈru supr. H sanc so lo dǎn in hiz ćer ɖt hiz ćin wz olmst on a levl wɖ ɖ tebl, n twîs h cict Cári undr ɖ tebl, upset hiz wîn, n flaśt a nîf uncumftbli nir Gowñ’z fes. Aftr supr h cept strećñ ǎt hiz legz on ɖ fndr, induljñ in scraps v qteśnz fṛm plez ẃć wr Grīc t m, n mor ɖn wns noct ovr ɖ fîr-aynz, mcñ a hidịs rǎ – pur Cári olrdi hvñ a bad hed-ec.Ẃn h wnt, h sd, t ǎr s’prîz: “I wl cm tmoro n brñ mî Ŕvñ mc-p.” Gowñ n Cumñz sd ɖe wd lîc t si it n wd cm tù. I cd nt hlp ʈncñ ɖe mt az wel gv a parti at mî hǎs ẃl ɖe r abt it. Hvr, az Cári snṣbli sd: “D enʈñ, dir, t mc Lūpin fget ɖ Deizi Mutlr biznis.”

Mr. Burwin-Fosselton at supper.
Mr. Brwin-Fosltn at supr.

Nvmbr 23. – In ɖ īvnñ, Cumñz cem rli. Gowñ cem a litl lêtr n bròt, wɖt ascñ pmiśn, a fat n, I ʈnc, vri vulgr-lcñ man nemd Paj, hu apird t b ol mstaś. Gowñ nvr atmtd eni apoḷji t îɖr v s, bt sd Paj wontd t si ɖ Ŕvñ biznis, t ẃć Paj sd: “Ɖt’s rît,” n ɖt z abt ol h dd se jrñ ɖ intîr īvnñ. Lūpin cem in n sīmd in mć betr spirits. H hd priperd a bit v a s’prîz. Mr. Brwin-Fosltn hd cm in wɖ him, bt hd gn upsterz t gt redi. In haf-an-aur Lūpin rtîrd fṛm ɖ parlr, n rtrnñ in a fy minits, anǎnst “Mr. Henri Ŕvñ.”

Mr. Padge
Mr. Paj
Lupin announces "Mr. Henry Irving."
Lūpin anǎnsz “Mr. Henri Ŕvñ.”
I mst se w wr ol astǎndd. I nvr sw sć a rzmbḷns. It wz astoṇśñ. Ɖ onli prsn hu dd nt apir inṭrestd wz ɖ man Paj, hu hd got ɖ bst armćer, n wz pufñ awe at a fǎl pîp intu ɖ fîrples. Aftr sm litl tîm I sd; “Ẃ d actrz olwz wer ɖer her so loñ?” Cári in a momnt sd, “Mr. Hér dz’nt wer loñ her.” Hǎ w laft xpt Mr. Fosltn, hu sd, in a rɖr patṛnîzñ cnd v we, “Ɖ joc, Msz. Pūtr, z xtrimli aproprịt, f nt oltgɖr ny.” Ʈncñ ɖs rɖr a snub, I sd: “Mr. Fosltn, I fansi – ” H inṭruptd m bî seyñ: “Mr. Brwin-Fosltn, f y plīz,” ẃć md m qt fget ẃt I wz gwñ t se t him. Jrñ ɖ supr Mr. Brwin-Fosltn agn mnoṗlîzd ɖ convseśn wɖ hiz Ŕvñ tōc, n bʈ Cári n I cem t ɖ cncluźn wn cn hv īvn tù mć iṃteśn v Ŕvñ. Aftr supr, Mr. Brwin-Fosltn got a litl tù bôstṛs ovr hiz Ŕvñ iṃteśn, n sudnli sizñ Gowñ bî ɖ colr v hiz cot, dug hiz ʈumnêl, axdnṭli v cors, intu Gowñ’z nec n tc a pìs v fleś ǎt. Gowñ wz rîtli anoid, bt ɖt man Paj, hu hvñ dclînd ǎr modist supr in ordr ɖt h śd nt lūz hiz cumftbl ćer, brst intu an uncntroḷbl fit v laftr at ɖ litl mis’dvnćr. I wz so anoid at ɖ conduct v Paj, I sd: “I s’poz y wd hv laft f h hd pǒct Mr. Gowñ’z î ǎt?” t ẃć Paj rplaid: “Ɖt’s rît,” n laft mor ɖn evr. I ʈnc phps ɖ gretist s’prîz wz ẃn w brouc p, fr Mr. Brwin-Fosltn sd: “Gdnît, Mr. Pūtr. I’m glad y lîc ɖ iṃteśn, I’l brñ ɖ uɖr mc-up tmoro nît.”

Nvmbr 24. – I wnt t tǎn wɖt a pocithanc̣ćīf. Ɖs z ɖ secnd tîm I hv dn ɖs jrñ ɖ last wīc. I mst b luzñ mî meṃri. Hd it nt bn fr ɖs Deizi Mutlr biznis, I wd hv ritn t Mr. Brwin-Fosltn n tld him I śd b ǎt ɖs īvnñ, bt I fansi h z ɖ sort v yuñ man hu wd cm ol ɖ sem.

Dir old Cumñz cem in ɖ īvnñ; bt Gowñ snt rnd a litl not seyñ h hopt I wd xkz hiz nt trnñ p, ẃć rɖr aḿzd m. H add ɖt hiz nec wz stl penfl. V cors, Brwin-Fosltn cem, bt Lūpin nvr trnd p, n imajin mî utr dsgust ẃn ɖt man Paj acć̣li cem agn, n nt īvn acumṗnid bî Gowñ. I wz xasṗretd, n sd: “Mr. Paj, ɖs z a s’prîz.” Dir Cári, firñ unplezntnis, sd: “Ǒ! I s’poz Mr. Paj hz onli cm t si ɖ uɖr Ŕvñ mc-up.” Mr. Paj sd: “Ɖt’s rît,” n tc ɖ bst ćer agn, fṛm ẃć h nvr muvd ɖ hol īvnñ.Mî onli conṣleśn z, h tecs no supr, so h z nt an xpnsiv gest, bt I śl spīc t Gowñ abt ɖ matr. Ɖ Ŕvñ iṃteśnz n convseśnz okpaid ɖ hol īvnñ, tl I wz sic v it. Wns w hd a rɖr hītd dscuśn, ẃć wz cmnst bî Cumñz seyñ ɖt it apird t him ɖt Mr. Brwin-Fosltn wz nt onli lîc Mr. Ŕvñ, bt wz in hiz jujmnt evri we az gd or īvn betr. I vnćrd t rmarc ɖt aftr ol it wz bt an iṃteśn v an orijinl.

Cumñz sd śrli sm iṃteśnz wr betr ɖn ɖ orijinlz. I md ẃt I cnsidrd a vri clevr rmarc: “Wɖt an orijinl ɖr cn b no iṃteśn.” Mr. Brwin-Fosltn sd qt imprtinntli: “D’nt dscus m in mî prezns, f y plīz; n, Mr. Pūtr, I śd advîz y t tōc abt ẃt y unḍstand;” t ẃć ɖt cad Paj rplaid: “Ɖt’s rît.” Dir Cári sevd ɖ hol ʈñ bî sudnli seyñ: “I’l b Eḷn Teri.” Dir Cári’z iṃteśn wz’nt a bit lîct, bt ś wz so spnteńs n so funi ɖt ɖ dis’griybl dscuśn pást of. Ẃn ɖe left, I vri pôntidli sd t Mr. Brwin-Fosltn n Mr. Paj ɖt w śd b ingejd tmoro īvnñ.

Nvmbr 25. – Hd a loñ letr fṛm Mr. Fosltn rspctñ last nît’s Ŕvñ dscuśn. I wz vri angri, n I rout n sd I ń litl or nʈñ abt stejmatrz, wz nt in ɖ līst inṭrestd in ɖm n poztivli dclînd t b drwn intu a dscuśn on ɖ subjict, īvn at ɖ risc v its līdñ t a brīć v frendśp. I nvr rout a mor dtrmind letr.

On rtrnñ hom at ɖ yźl aur on Saṭde afṭnun I met nir ɖ Arćwe Deizi Mutlr. Mî hart gev a līp. I baud rɖr stifli, bt ś afctd nt t hv sìn m. Vri mć anoid in ɖ īvnñ bî ɖ lōndris sndñ hom an od soc. Sẹra sd ś snt tū perz, n ɖ lōndris dclerd onli a per n a haf wr snt. I spouc t Cári abt it, bt ś rɖr tsṭli rplaid: “I am tîrd v spīcñ t hr; y hd betr g n spīc t hr yrslf. Ś z ǎtsd.” I dd so, bt ɖ lōndris dclerd ɖt onli an od soc wz snt.Gowñ pást intu ɖ pasij at ɖs tîm n wz rūd inuf t lisn t ɖ convseśn, n inṭruptñ, sd: “D’nt west ɖ od soc, old man; d an act v ćaṛti n gv it t sm pur man wɖ onli wn leg.” Ɖ lōndris gigld lîc an idịt. I wz dsgustd n wōct upsterz fr ɖ prṗs v pinñ dǎn mî colr, az ɖ butn hd cm of ɖ bac v mî śrt.

Ẃn I rtrnd t ɖ parlr, Gowñ wz rīteilñ hiz idiotic joc abt ɖ od soc, n Cári wz rorñ wɖ laftr. I s’poz I am luzñ mî sns v hymr. I spouc mî mînd priti frīli abt Paj. Gowñ sd h hd met him onli wns bfr ɖt īvnñ. H hd bn intṛdyst bî a frend, n az h (Paj) hd “std” a gd dinr, Gowñ wśt t śo him sm litl rtrn. Upn mî wrd, Gowñ’z cūlnis s’pász ol b’lif. Lūpin cem in bfr I cd rplî, n Gowñ unforćṇtli inqîrd aftr Deizi Mutlr. Lūpin śǎtd: “Mînd yr ǒn biznis, sr!” n bǎnst ǎt v ɖ rūm, slamñ ɖ dor. Ɖ rmendr v ɖ nît wz Deizi Mutlr – Deizi Mutlr – Deizi Mutlr. Ǒ dir!

Nvmbr 26, Súnde. – Ɖ kṛt prīćt a vri gd srmn tde – vri gd indd. Hiz apiṛns z nvr so impresiv az ǎr dir old vicr’z, bt I am baund t se hiz srmnz r mć mor impresiv. A rɖr anoyñ insidnt ocŕd, v ẃć I mst mc mnśn. Msz. Frnlos, hu z qt a grand ledi, livñ in wn v ɖoz larj hǎzz in ɖ Camdn Rod, stopt t spīc t m aftr ćrć, ẃn w wr ol cmñ ǎt. I mst se I flt flatrd, fr ś z ʈt a gd dīl v. I s’poz ś ń m ʈru siyñ m so ofn tec rnd ɖ plet, ispeṣ́li az ś olwz okpîz ɖ cornr sīt v ɖ py. Ś z a vri influenśl ledi, n me hv hd smʈñ v ɖ utmost importns t se, bt unforćṇtli, az ś cmnst t spīc a stroñ gust v wind cem n blù mî hat of intu ɖ midl v ɖ rod.

I hd t run aftr it, n hd ɖ gretist dificlti in rcuṿrñ it. Ẃn I hd s’xidd in dwñ so, I faund Msz. Frnlos hd wōct on wɖ sm swel frendz, n I flt I cd nt wel aproć hr nǎ, ispeṣ́li az mî hat wz smuɖrd wɖ mud. I canot se hǎ dis’pôntd I flt.In ɖ īvnñ (Súnde īvnñ v ol uɖrz) I faund an imprtinnt not fṛm Mr. Brwin-Fosltn, ẃć ran az foloz:

“Dir Mr. Pūtr, – Olɖo yr jūńr bî phps sm twenti or ʈrti yirz – ẃć z sfiśnt rīzn ɖt y òt t hv a longr rec̣d v ɖ ʈñz n wez in ɖs minićr v a planit – I fīl it z jst wɖn ɖ bǎndz v posbiḷti ɖt ɖ ẃīlz v yr lîf d’nt travl so qcli rnd az ɖoz v ɖ humbl raitr v ɖz lînz. Ɖ dandi hors v past dez hz bn noun t oṿtec ɖ slo coć.

“D I mc mslf unḍstd?

“Vri wel, ɖen! Pmit m, Mr. Pūtr, t advîz y t axpt ɖ vrb. sap. Acnolij yr dfit, n tec yr ẃipñ gresf̣li; fr rmembr y ʈrù dǎn ɖ gluv, n I canot clem t b îɖr mnṭli or fizicli a cawd!

Revenons à nos moutons.

“Ǎr lîvz run in difṛnt grūvz. I liv fr MÎ ART – Ɖ STEJ. Yr lîf z dvotd t cmrśl psyts – ‘A lîf amñ Lejrz.’ Mî bcs r v difṛnt metl. Yr lîf in ɖ Siti z onṛbl, I admit. Bt hǎ difṛnt! Canot īvn y si ɖ ośn btwn s? A ćanl ɖt privnts ɖ mītñ v ǎr brenz in harmońs acord. Ā! Bt chacun à son goût.

“I hv rejistrd a vǎ t mǎnt ɖ steps v fem. I me crōl, I me slip, I me īvn fōltr (w r ol wìc), bt rīć ɖ top ruñ v ɖ ladr I wl!!! Ẃn ɖr, mî vôs śl b hŕd, fr I wl śǎt t ɖ multtydz b’lo: ‘Vici!’ Fr ɖ preznt I am onli an aṃćr, n mî wrc z uņoun, fsuʈ, sev t a parti v frendz, wɖ hir n ɖr an eṇmi.

“Bt, Mr. Pūtr, let m asc y, ‘Ẃt z ɖ difṛns btwn ɖ aṃćr n ɖ pṛfeśnl?’

“Nn!!!

“Ste! Yes, ɖr z a difṛns. Wn z peid fr dwñ ẃt ɖ uɖr dz az scilfli fr nʈñ!

“Bt I wl b peid, tù! Fr I, contrri t ɖ wśz v mî faṃli n frendz, hv at last ilectd t adopt ɖ stej az pṛfeśn. N ẃn ɖ fars crêz z ovr – n, marc y, ɖt wl b sn – I wl mc mî pǎr noun; fr I fīl – pardn mî apaṛnt cnsit – ɖt ɖr z no livñ man hu cn ple ɖ hump-bact Rićd az I fīl n I cn.

“N y wl b ɖ frst t cm rnd n bnd yr hed in sbmiśn. Ɖr r mni matrz y me unḍstand, bt nolij v ɖ fîn art v actñ z t y an uņoun qontti.

“Pre let ɖs dscuśn sīs wɖ ɖs letr. Vale!

Yrz trūli,

“Brwin-Fosltn.”

I wz dsgustd. Ẃn Lūpin cem in, I handd him ɖs imprtinnt letr, n sd: “Mî bô, in ɖt letr y cn si ɖ tru caṛctr v yr frend.”

Lūpin, t mî s’prîz, sd: “Ǒ yes. H śoud m ɖ letr bfr h snt it. I ʈnc h z rît, n y òt t apoḷjîz.”

ĆAPTR XII

A sirịs dscuśn cnsrnñ ɖ ys n valy v mî dayri. Lūpin’z opińn v ’Xṃs. Lūpin’z unforćṇt ingejmnt z on agn.

Dsmbr 17. – Az I opn mî scriḅlñ dayri I fînd ɖ wrdz “Oxf̣d Miclms Trm endz.” Ẃ ɖs śd indys m t indulj in retṛspctiv I d’nt nǒ, bt it dz. Ɖ last fy wīcs v mî dayri r v minimm inṭrest. Ɖ brecñ of v ɖ ingejmnt btwn Lūpin n Deizi Mutlr hz md him a difṛnt biyñ, n Cári a rɖr dpresñ cmpańn. Ś wz a litl dul last Saṭde, n I ʈt t ćir hr p bî rīdñ sm xtracts fṛm mî dayri; bt ś wōct ǎt v ɖ rūm in ɖ midl v ɖ rīdñ, wɖt a wrd. On hr rtrn, I sd: “Dd mî dayri bòr y, darlñ?”

Ś rplaid, t mî s’prîz: “I riyli wz’nt liṣnñ, dir. I wz oblîjd t līv t gv instrux́nz t ɖ lōndris. In consiqns v sm stuf ś pts in ɖ wōtr, tū mor v Lūpin’z culrd śrts hv run n h sz h w’nt wer ɖm.”I sd: “Evrʈñ z Lūpin. It’s ol Lūpin, Lūpin, Lūpin. Ɖr wz nt a sngl butn on mî śrt yesṭde, bt I md no cmplent.”

Cári simpli rplaid: “Y śd d az ol uɖr men d, n wer studz. In fact, I nvr sw enwn bt y wer butnz on ɖ śrtfrunts.”

I sd: “I srtnli wòr nn yesṭde, fr ɖr wr nn on.”

Anɖr ʈt ɖt strîcs m z ɖt Gowñ sldm cōlz in ɖ īvnñ, n Cumñz nvr dz. I fir ɖe d’nt gt on wel wɖ Lūpin.

Dsmbr 18. – Yesṭde I wz in a retṛspctiv vein – tde it z pṛspctiv. I si nʈñ bt clǎdz, clǎdz, clǎdz. Lūpin z prf̣cli intolṛbl ovr ɖ Deizi Mutlr biznis. H w’nt se ẃt z ɖ cōz v ɖ brīć. H z evidntli cndemñ hr conduct, n yt, f w vnćr t agri wɖ him, sz h w’nt hír a wrd agnst hr. So ẃt z wn t d? Anɖr ʈñ ẃć z dis’pôntñ t m z, ɖt Cári n Lūpin tec no inṭrest ẃtvr in mî dayri.

I broćt ɖ subjict at ɖ brecfsțebl tde. I sd: “I wz in hops ɖt, f enʈñ evr hapnd t m, ɖ dayri wd b an endlis sors v pleźr t y bʈ; t se nʈñ v ɖ ćans v ɖ rḿṇreśn ẃć me acru fṛm its biyñ publiśt.”Bʈ Cári n Lūpin brst ǎt lafñ. Cári wz sori fr ɖs, I cd si, fr ś sd: “I dd nt mīn t b rūd, dir Ćarli; bt trūli I d nt ʈnc yr dayri wd sfiśntli inṭrest ɖ public t b tecn p bî a publiśr.”

I rplaid: “I am śr it wd pruv qt az inṭrestñ az sm v ɖ r’dikḷs reṃnisnsz ɖt hv bn publiśt lêtli. Bsdz, it’s ɖ dayri ɖt mcs ɖ man. Ẃr wd Eṿlin n Pìps hv bn f it hd nt bn fr ɖer dayriz?”

Cári sd I wz qt a f’loṣfr; bt Lūpin, in a jirñ ton, sd: “F it hd bn ritn on larjr pepr, Guv., w mt gt a fer prîs fṛm a butrmn fr it.”

Az I am in ɖ pṛspctiv vein, I vǎ ɖ end v ɖs yir wl si ɖ end v mî dayri.

Dsmbr 19. – Ɖ ańl invteśn cem t spend Crisṃs wɖ Cári’z muɖr – ɖ yźl faṃli fstiv gaɖ̇rñ t ẃć w olwz lc fwd. Lūpin dclînd t g. I wz astǎndd, n xprest mî s’prîz n dsgust. Lūpin ɖen oblîjd s wɖ ɖ folowñ Radicl spīć: “I het a faṃli gaɖ̇rñ at Crisṃs. Ẃt dz it mīn? Ẃ smwn sz: ‘Ā! w mis pur Uncl Jemz, hu wz hir last yir,’ n w ol bgin t snivl. Smwn els sz: ‘It’s tū yirz sins pur Ānt Liz yst t sit in ɖt cornr.’ Ɖen w ol bgin t snivl agn. Ɖen anɖr glūmi rleśn sz ‘Ā! I wundr huz trn it wl b nxt?’ Ɖen w ol snivl agn, n pṛsid t īt n drinc tù mć; n ɖe d’nt dscuvr untl I gt p ɖt w hv bn sītd ʈrtīn at dinr.”

Dsmbr 20. – Wnt t Smrcsnz’, ɖ dreprz, in ɖ Strand, hu ɖs yir hv trnd ǎt evrʈñ in ɖ śop n dvotd ɖ hol ples t ɖ seil v Crisṃs cardz. Śop crǎdd wɖ ppl, hu sīmd t tec p ɖ cardz rɖr rufli, n, aftr a hurid glans at ɖm, ʈro ɖm dǎn agn. I rmarct t wn v ɖ yuñ prsnz srvñ, ɖt cerlisnis apird t b a dziz wɖ sm prćisrz. Ɖ obẓveśn wz scersli ǎt v mî mǎʈ, ẃn mî ʈic cotslīv còt agnst a larj pîl v xpnsiv cardz in boxz wn on top v ɖ uɖr, n ʈrù ɖm dǎn. Ɖ manijr cem fwd, lcñ vri mć anoid, n picñ p sevṛl cardz fṛm ɖ grǎnd, sd t wn v ɖ asistnts, wɖ a palṗbl sîdglans at m: “Pt ɖz amñst ɖ sixṗni gdz; ɖe c’nt b sold fr a śilñ nǎ.” Ɖ rzult wz, I flt it mî dyti t bai sm v ɖz damijd cardz.

I hd t bai mor n pe mor ɖn intndd. Unforćṇtli I dd nt xamin ɖm ol, n ẃn I got hom I dscuvrd a vulgr card wɖ a picćr v a fat nrs wɖ tū bebiz, wn blac n ɖ uɖr ẃît, n ɖ wrdz: “W wś Pa a Meri Crisṃs.” I tòr p ɖ card n ʈrù it awe. Cári sd ɖ gret dis’dvantij v gwñ ǎt in Ssayti n incrisñ ɖ numbr v ǎr frendz wz, ɖt w śd hv t snd ǎt nirli tū duzn cardz ɖs yir.

Dsmbr 21. – T sev ɖ postmn a mizṛbl Crisṃs, w folo ɖ xampl v ol unslfiś ppl, n snd ǎt ǎr cardz rli. Most v ɖ cardz hd fngrmarcs, ẃć I dd nt notis at nît. I śl bai ol fyćr cardz in ɖ dêtîm. Lūpin (hu, evr sins h hz hd ɖ apôntmnt wɖ a stoc n śer brocr, dz nt sīm oṿscrūpyḷs in hiz dīlñz) tld m nvr t rub ǎt ɖ pnsld prîs on ɖ bacs v ɖ cardz. I asct him ẃ. Lūpin sd: “S’poz yr card z marct 9d. Wel, ol y hv t d z t pensl a 3 – n a loñ dǎn-stroc aftr it – in frunt v ɖ nînpns, n ppl wl ʈnc y hv gvn fîv tîmz ɖ prîs fr it.”

In ɖ īvnñ Lūpin wz vri lo-spiṛtd, n I rmîndd him ɖt bhnd ɖ clǎdz ɖ sún wz śînñ. H sd: “Ug! it nvr śînz on m.” I sd: “Stop, Lūpin, mî bô; y r wurid abt Deizi Mutlr. D’nt ʈnc v hr eni mor. Y òt t cngrać̣let yrslf on hvñ got of a vri bad bargin. Hr nośnz r far tù grand fr ǎr simpl tests.” H jumt p n sd: “I w’nt alǎ wn wrd t b utrd agnst hr. Ś’z wrʈ ɖ hol bunć v yr frendz pt tgɖr, ɖt infletd, slǒpñhed v a Prcup includd.” I left ɖ rūm wɖ sîḷnt digṇti, bt còt mî ft in ɖ mat.

Dsmbr 23. – I xćenjd no wrdz wɖ Lūpin in ɖ mornñ; bt az h sīmd t b in xūbṛnt spirits in ɖ īvnñ, I vnćrd t asc him ẃr h intndd t spend hiz Crisṃs. H rplaid: “Ǒ, most lîcli at ɖ Mutlrz’.”

In wundrmnt, I sd: “Ẃt! aftr yr ingejmnt hz bn brocn of?”Lūpin sd: “Hu sd it z of?”

I sd: “Y hv gvn s bʈ t unḍstand – ”

H inṭruptd m bî seyñ: “Wel, nvr mînd ẃt I sd. It z on agn – ɖr!”

ĆAPTR XIII

I rsiv an insultñ Crisṃs card. W spend a pleznt Crisṃs at Cári’z muɖr’z. A Mr. Mos z rɖr tù fri. A bôstṛs īvnñ, jrñ ẃć I am struc in ɖ darc. I rsiv an xtrordnri letr fṛm Mr. Mutlr, sīńr, rspctñ Lūpin. W mis drincñ ǎt ɖ Old Yir.

Dsmbr 24. – I am a pur man, bt I wd gladli gv ten śilñz t fînd ǎt hu snt m ɖ insultñ Crisṃs card I rsivd ɖs mornñ. I nvr insult ppl; ẃ śd ɖe insult m? Ɖ wrst part v ɖ trnzax́n z, ɖt I fînd mslf sspctñ ol mî frendz. Ɖ handraitñ on ɖ enṿlop z evidntli dsgîzd, biyñ ritn slǒpñ ɖ roñ we. I canot ʈnc îɖr Gowñ or Cumñz wd d sć a mīn ʈñ. Lūpin dnaid ol nolij v it, n I b’liv him; olɖo I dis’pruv v hiz lafñ n simṗʈîzñ wɖ ɖ ofndr. Mr. Franćñ wd b abv sć an act; n I d’nt ʈnc eni v ɖ Mutlrz wd dsnd t sć a cors. I wundr f Pít, ɖt impydnt clarc at ɖ ofis, dd it? Or Msz. Biṛl, ɖ ćarwmn, or Brwin-Fosltn? Ɖ raitñ z tù gd fr ɖ formr.

Crisṃs De. – W còt ɖ 10.20 tren at Padñtn, n spent a pleznt de at Cári’z muɖr’z. Ɖ cuntri wz qt nîs n pleznt, olɖo ɖ rodz wr slopi. W dînd in ɖ midl v ɖ de, jst ten v s, n tōct ovr old tîmz. F evrbdi hd a nîs, uninṭfirñ muɖr-in-lw, sć az I hv, ẃt a dīl v hapinis ɖr wd b in ɖ wrld. Biyñ ol in gd spirits, I pṛpozd hr hlʈ, n I md, I ʈnc, a vri gd spīć.I cncludd, rɖr nītli, bî seyñ: “On an oceźn lîc ɖs – ẃɖr reḷtivz, frendz, or aqentnsz, – w r ol inspîrd wɖ gd fīlñz twdz ć uɖr. W r v wn mînd, n ʈnc onli v luv n frendśp. Ɖoz hu hv qoṛld wɖ absnt frendz śd cis n mc it p. Ɖoz hu haṗli hv nt fōḷn ǎt, cn cis ol ɖ sem.”

I sw ɖ tirz in ɖ îz v bʈ Cári n hr muɖr, n mst se I flt vri flatrd bî ɖ complimnt. Ɖt dir old Revṛnd Jon Panzi Smiʈ, hu marid s, md a most ćirfl n aḿzñ spīć, n sd h śd act on mî sjsćn rspctñ ɖ cisñ. H ɖen wōct rnd ɖ tebl n cist ol ɖ lediz, includñ Cári. V cors wn dd nt objct t ɖs; bt I wz mor ɖn stagrd ẃn a yuñ felo nemd Mos, hu wz a strenjr t m, n hu hd scersli spocn a wrd ʈru dinr, jumt p sudnli wɖ a sprig v mislto, n xclemd: “Hlo! I d’nt si ẃ I śd’nt b on in ɖs sīn.” Bfr wn cd riylîz ẃt h wz abt t d, h cist Cári n ɖ rest v ɖ lediz.

Forćṇtli ɖ matr wz trītd az a joc, n w ol laft; bt it wz a denjṛs xperimnt, n I flt vri unīzi fr a momnt az t ɖ rzult. I subsiqntli rfŕd t ɖ matr t Cári, bt ś sd: “Ǒ, h’z nt mć mor ɖn a bô.” I sd ɖt h hd a vri larj mstaś fr a bô. Cári rplaid: “I dd’nt se h wz nt a nîs bô.”

Dsmbr 26. – I dd nt slīp vri wel last nît; I nvr d in a strenj bed. I fīl a litl indijsćn, ẃć wn mst xpct at ɖs tîm v ɖ yir. Cári n I rtrnd t Tǎn in ɖ īvnñ. Lūpin cem in lêt. H sd h injoid hiz Crisṃs, n add: “I fīl az fit az a Lǎɖr Arced fidl, n onli rqîr a litl mor ‘ūf’ t fīl az fit az a £500 Straḍverịs.” I hv loñ sins gvn p trayñ t unḍstand Lūpin’z slañ, or ascñ him t xplen it.

Dsmbr 27. – I tld Lūpin I wz xpctñ Gowñ n Cumñz t drop in tmoro īvnñ fr a qayt gem. I wz in hop ɖ bô wd voḷntir t ste in, n hlp t aḿz ɖm. Instd v ẃć, h sd: “Ǒ, y hd betr pt ɖm of, az I hv asct Deizi n Franc Mutlr t cm.” I sd I cd nt ʈnc v dwñ sć a ʈñ. Lūpin sd: “Ɖen I wl snd a wîr, n pt of Deizi.” I sjstd ɖt a postcard or letr wd rīć hr qt sn inuf, n wd nt b so xtraṿgnt.

Cári, hu hd lisnd t ɖ abv convseśn wɖ apaṛnt anoyns, d’rectd a wel-emd śaft at Lūpin. Ś sd: “Lūpin, ẃ d y objct t Deizi mītñ yr faɖr’z frendz? Z it bcz ɖe r nt gd inuf fr hr, or (ẃć z īqli poṣbl) ś z nt gd inuf fr ɖm?” Lūpin wz dumfǎndd, n cd mc no rplî. Ẃn h left ɖ rūm, I gev Cári a cis v apruvl.

Dsmbr 28 – Lūpin, on cmñ dǎn t brecfst, sd t hiz muɖr: “I hv nt pt of Deizi n Franc, n śd lîc ɖm t jôn Gowñ n Cumñz ɖs īvnñ.” I flt vri plizd wɖ ɖ bô fr ɖs. Cári sd, in rplî: “I am glad y let m nǒ in tîm, az I cn trn ovr ɖ cold leg v mutn, dres it wɖ a litl parsli, n nwn wl nǒ it hz bn cut.” Ś frɖr sd ś wd mc a fy custdz, n sty sm pipinz, so ɖt ɖe wd b cold bî ɖ īvnñ.

Fîndñ Lūpin in gd spirits, I asct him qaytli f h riyli hd eni prsnl objx́n t îɖr Gowñ or Cumñz. H rplaid: “Nt in ɖ līst. I ʈnc Cumñz lcs rɖr an as, bt ɖt z partli dy t hiz patṛnîzñ ‘ɖ ʈri-n-six-wn-prîs hat cumṗni,’ n wẹrñ a rīć-m-dǎn froc̦ot. Az fr ɖt ppćl brǎn velvtīn jacit v Gowñ’z – ẃ, h rzmblz an îtinṛnt ftogṛfr.”I sd it wz nt ɖ cot ɖt md ɖ jntlmn; ẃr’pn Lūpin, wɖ a laf, rplaid: “No, n it wz’nt mć v a jntlmn hu md ɖer cóts.”

W wr rɖr joli at supr, n Deizi md hrslf vri agriybl, ispeṣ́li in ɖ rlịr part v ɖ īvnñ, ẃn ś sañ. At supr, hvr, ś sd: “Cn y mc tì-t-tums wɖ bred?” n ś cmnst rolñ p pìsz v bred, n twistñ ɖm rnd on ɖ tebl. I flt ɖs t b bad manrz, bt v cors sd nʈñ. Prezntli Deizi n Lūpin, t mî dsgust, bgan ʈrowñ bredpilz at ć uɖr. Franc foloud sūt, n so dd Cumñz n Gowñ, t mî astoniśmnt. Ɖe ɖen cmnst ʈrowñ hard pìsz v crust, wn pìs caćñ m on ɖ fōrhed, n mcñ m blinc. I sd: “Stedi, plīz; stedi!” Franc jumt p n sd: “Tum, tum; ɖen ɖ band pleid.”

I dd nt nǒ ẃt ɖs mnt, bt ɖe ol rord, n cntinyd ɖ bredbatl. Gowñ sudnli sizd ol ɖ parsli of ɖ cold mutn, n ʈrù it fl in mî fes. I lct dagrz at Gowñ, hu rplaid: “I se, it’s no gd trayñ t lc indignnt, wɖ yr her fl v parsli.” I rouz fṛm ɖ tebl, n insistd ɖt a stop śd b pt t ɖs fūḷri at wns. Franc Mutlr śǎtd: “Tîm, jntlṃn, plīz! tîm!” n trnd ǎt ɖ gas, līvñ s in abṣlut darcnis.

I wz fīlñ mî we ǎt v ɖ rūm, ẃn I sudnli rsivd a hard intnśnl punć at ɖ bac v mî hed. I sd lǎdli: “Hu dd ɖt?” Ɖr wz no ansr; so I rpitd ɖ qsćn, wɖ ɖ sem rzult. I struc a mać, n lîtd ɖ gas. Ɖe wr ol tōcñ n lafñ, so I cept mî ǒn cǎnsl; bt, aftr ɖe hd gn, I sd t Cári; “Ɖ prsn hu snt m ɖt insultñ postcard at Crisṃs wz hir tnît.”

Dsmbr 29. – I hd a most vivid drīm last nît. I wouc p, n on fōlñ aslip, drīmd ɖ sem drīm ovr agn prisîsli. I dremt I hŕd Franc Mutlr telñ hiz sistr ɖt h hd nt onli snt m ɖ insultñ Crisṃs card, bt admitd ɖt h wz ɖ wn hu punćt mî hed last nît in ɖ darc. Az fet wd hv it, Lūpin, at brecfst, wz rīdñ xtracts fṛm a letr h hd jst rsivd fṛm Franc.

I asct him t pas ɖ enṿlop, ɖt I mt cmper ɖ raitñ. H dd so, n I xamind it bî ɖ sîd v ɖ enṿlop cntenñ ɖ Crisṃs card. I dtctd a siṃlaṛti in ɖ raitñ, in spît v ɖ atmtd dsgîz. I pást ɖm on t Cári, hu bgan t laf. I asct hr ẃt ś wz lafñ at, n ś sd ɖ card wz nvr d’rectd t m at ol. It wz “L. Pūtr,” nt “C. Pūtr.” Lūpin asct t lc at ɖ d’rex́n n ɖ card, n xclemd, wɖ a laf: “Ǒ yes, Guv., it’s mnt fr m.”I sd: “R y in ɖ habit v rsivñ insultñ Crisṃs cardz?” H rplaid: “Ǒ yes, n v sndñ ɖm, tù.”

In ɖ īvnñ Gowñ cōld, n sd h injoid himslf vri mć last nît. I tc ɖ oṗtyṇti t cnfîd in him, az an old frend, abt ɖ viśs punć last nît. H brst ǎt lafñ, n sd: “Ǒ, it wz yr hed, wz it? I nǒ I axdnṭli hit smʈñ, bt I ʈt it wz a bric wōl.” I tld him I flt hrt, in bʈ snsz v ɖ xpreśn.

Dsmbr 30, Súnde. – Lūpin spent ɖ hol de wɖ ɖ Mutlrz. H sīmd rɖr ćirfl in ɖ īvnñ, so I sd: “I’m glad t si y so hapi, Lūpin.” H ansrd: “Wel, Deizi z a splendid grl, bt I wz oblîjd t tec hr old fūl v a faɖr dǎn a peg. Ẃt wɖ hiz mīņis ovr hiz sgarz, hiz stinjinis ovr hiz drincs, hiz farɖñ icoṇmi in trnñ dǎn ɖ gas f y onli qit ɖ rūm fr a secnd, raitñ t wn on haf-śīts v notpepr, sticñ ɖ remnnt v ɖ last cec v sop on t ɖ ny cec, ptñ tū brics on ć sîd v ɖ fîrples, n hiz jenṛl ‘ǎtsd-heṗni-’bus-nis,’ I wz cmpeld t let him hv a bit v mî mînd.” I sd: “Lūpin, y r nt mć mor ɖn a bô; I hop y w’nt rpnt it.”

Dsmbr 31. – Ɖ last de v ɖ Old Yir. I rsivd an xtrordnri letr fṛm Mr. Mutlr, sīńr. H raits: “Dir Sr, – Fr a loñ tîm past I hv hd cnsidṛbl dificlti dsîdñ ɖ importnt qsćn, ‘Hu z ɖ mastr v mî ǒn hǎs? Mslf, or yr sun Lūpin?’ B’liv m, I hv no preɉdis wn we or ɖ uɖr; bt I hv bn most rluctntli cmpeld t gv jujmnt t ɖ ifct ɖt I am ɖ mastr v it. Undr ɖ srcmstansz, it hz bcm mî dyti t fbid yr sun t entr mî hǎs agn. I am sori, bcz it dprîvz m v ɖ ssayti v wn v ɖ most modist, un’symñ, n jntlmnli prsnz I hv evr hd ɖ onr v biyñ aqentd wɖ.”

I dd nt dzîr ɖ last de t wînd p dis’griybli, so I sd nʈñ t îɖr Cári or Lūpin abt ɖ letr.A most teṛbl fog cem on, n Lūpin wd g ǎt in it, bt promist t b bac t drinc ǎt ɖ Old Yir – a custm w hv olwz obzrvd. At a qortr t twelv Lūpin hd nt rtrnd, n ɖ fog wz firfl. Az tîm wz drw̃ clos, I got ǎt ɖ spirits. Cári n I dsîdñ on ẃisci, I opnd a freś botl; bt Cári sd it smelt lîc brandi. Az I ń it t b ẃisci, I sd ɖr wz nʈñ t dscus. Cári, evidntli vxt ɖt Lūpin hd nt cm in, dd dscus it ol ɖ sem, n wontd m t hv a smōl wejr wɖ hr t dsîd bî ɖ smel. I sd I cd dsîd it bî ɖ test in a momnt. A sili n uņesṣri arğmnt foloud, ɖ rzult v ẃć wz w sudnli sw it wz a qortr-past twelv, n, fr ɖ frst tîm in ǎr marid lîf, w míst welcmñ in ɖ Ny Yir. Lūpin got hom at a qortr-past tū, hvñ got lost in ɖ fog – so h sd.

ĆAPTR XIV

Bgin ɖ yir wɖ an unixpctd pṛmośn at ɖ ofis. I mc tū gd jocs. I gt an inorṃs rîz in mî saḷri. Lūpin speklets s’xesf̣li n starts a ponitrap. Hv t spīc t Sẹra. Xtrordnri conduct v Gowñ’z.

Jańri 1. – I hd intndd cncludñ mî dayri last wīc; bt a most importnt ivnt hz hapnd, so I śl cntiny fr a litl ẃl longr on ɖ flîlīvz ataćt t ɖ end v mî last yir’z dayri. It hd jst struc haf-past wn, n I wz on ɖ pônt v līvñ ɖ ofis t hv mî dinr, ẃn I rsivd a mesij ɖt Mr. Prcup dzîrd t si m at wns. I mst cnfes ɖt mî hart cmnst t bìt n I hd most sirịs msgvñz.

Mr. Prcup wz in hiz rūm raitñ, n h sd: “Tec a sīt, Mr. Pūtr, I śl nt b a momnt.”I rplaid: “No, ʈanc y, sr; I’l stand.”

I woćt ɖ cloc on ɖ mantlpìs, n I wz wêtñ qt twenti minits; bt it sīmd aurz. Mr. Prcup at last got p himslf.

I sd: “I hop ɖr z nʈñ roñ, sr?”

H rplaid: “Ǒ dir, no! qt ɖ rvrs, I hop.” Ẃt a weit of mî mînd! Mî breʈ sīmd t cm bac agn in an instnt.

Mr. Prcup sd: “Mr. Buclñ z gwñ t rtîr, n ɖr wl b sm slît ćenjz in ɖ ofis. Y hv bn wɖ s nirli twenti-wn yirz, n, in consiqns v yr conduct jrñ ɖt pirịd, w intnd mcñ a speśl pṛmośn in yr fevr. W hv nt qt dsîdd hǎ y wl b plest; bt in eni ces ɖr wl b a cnsidṛbl incrīs in yr saḷri, ẃć, it z qt uņesṣri fr m t se, y fŭli dzrv. I hv an apôntmnt at tū; bt y śl hír mor tmoro.”

H ɖen left ɖ rūm qcli, n I wz nt īvn alaud tîm or ʈt t xpres a sngl wrd v gretfl ʈancs t him. I nīd nt se hǎ dir Cári rsivd ɖs jôfl nyz. Wɖ prfict simpliṣti ś sd: “At last w śl b ebl t hv a ćimniglas fr ɖ bac drw̃rūm, ẃć w olwz wontd.” I add: “Yes, n at last y śl hv ɖt litl costym ẃć y sw at Pītr Robinsn’z so ćīp.”

Jańri 2. – I wz in a gret stet v sspns ol de at ɖ ofis. I dd nt lîc t wuri Mr. Prcup; bt az h dd nt snd fr m, n mnśnd yesṭde ɖt h wd si m agn tde, I ʈt it betr, phps, t g t him. I noct at hiz dor, n on enṭrñ, Mr. Prcup sd: “Ǒ! it’s y, Mr. Pūtr; d y wont t si m?” I sd: “No, sr, I ʈt y wontd t si m!” “Ǒ!” h rplaid, “I rmembr. Wel, I am vri bizi tde; I wl si y tmoro.”

Jańri 3. – Stl in a stet v añzayti n xîtmnt, ẃć wz nt alīvietd bî aṣtenñ ɖt Mr. Prcup snt wrd h śd nt b at ɖ ofis tde. In ɖ īvnñ, Lūpin, hu wz biẓli ingejd wɖ a pepr, sd sudnli t m: “D y nǒ enʈñ abt ćōcpits, Guv.?” I sd: “No, mî bô, nt ɖt I’m awer v.” Lūpin sd: “Wel, I gv y ɖ tip; ćōcpits r az sef az Consolz, n pe six psnt at par.” I sd a rɖr nīt ʈñ, viz.: “Ɖe me b six psnt at par, bt yr pa hz no muni t invst.” Cári n I bʈ rord wɖ laftr. Lūpin dd nt tec ɖ slîtist notis v ɖ joc, olɖo I prṗsli rpitd it fr him; bt cntinyd: “I gv y ɖ tip, ɖt’s ol – ćōcpits!” I sd anɖr funi ʈñ: “Mînd y d’nt fōl intu ɖm!” Lūpin pt on a sūṗsiłs smîl, n sd: “Brāvo! Jo Milr.”

Jańri 4. – Mr. Prcup snt fr m n tld m ɖt mî pziśn wd b ɖt v wn v ɖ sīńr clarcs. I wz mor ɖn oṿjoid. Mr. Prcup add, h wd let m nǒ tmoro ẃt ɖ saḷri wd b. Ɖs mīnz anɖr de’z añzayti; I d’nt mînd, fr it z añzayti v ɖ rît sort. Ɖt rmîndd m ɖt I hd fgotn t spīc t Lūpin abt ɖ letr I rsivd fṛm Mr. Mutlr, sīńr. I broćt ɖ subjict t Lūpin in ɖ īvnñ, hvñ frst cnsultd Cári. Lūpin wz riṿtd t ɖ Fnanśl Nyz, az f h hd bn a born capiṭlist, n I sd: “Pardn m a momnt, Lūpin, hǎ z it y hv nt bn t ɖ Mutlrz’ eni de ɖs wīc?”

Lūpin ansrd: “I tld y! I canot stand old Mutlr.”I sd: “Mr. Mutlr raits t m t se priti plenli ɖt h canot stand y!”

Lūpin sd: “Wel, I lîc hiz ćīc in raitñ t y. I’l fînd ǎt f hiz faɖr z stl alîv, n I wl rait him a not cmplenñ v hiz sun, n I’l stet priti clirli ɖt hiz sun z a bliɖ̇rñ idịt!”

I sd: “Lūpin, plīz moḍret yr xpreśnz in ɖ prezns v yr muɖr.”

Lūpin sd: “I’m vri sori, bt ɖr z no uɖr xpreśn wn cn aplî t him. Hvr, I’m dtrmind nt t entr hiz ples agn.”

I sd: “Y nǒ, Lūpin, h hz fbidn y ɖ hǎs.”

Lūpin rplaid: “Wel, w w’nt split strwz – it’s ol ɖ sem. Deizi z a trump, n wl wêt fr m ten yirz, f nesṣri.”

Jańri 5. – I cn scersli rait ɖ nyz. Mr. Prcup tld m mî saḷri wd b rezd £100! I std gepñ fr a momnt unebl t riylîz it. I ańli gt £10 rîz, n I ʈt it mt b £15 or īvn £20; bt £100 s’pász ol b’lif. Cári n I bʈ rjôst ovr ǎr gd fortyn. Lūpin cem hom in ɖ īvnñ in ɖ utmost gd spirits. I snt Sẹra qaytli rnd t ɖ grosr’z fr a botl v śampen, ɖ sem az w hd bfr, “Jacsn Frer.” It wz opnd at supr, n I sd t Lūpin: “Ɖs z t seḷbret sm gd nyz I hv rsivd tde.” Lūpin rplaid: “Hre, Guv.! N I hv sm gd nyz, olso; a dubl ivnt, ê?” I sd: “Mî bô, az a rzult v twenti-wn yirz’ inḍstri n strict atnśn t ɖ inṭrests v mî s’pirịrz in ofis, I hv bn rwordd wɖ pṛmośn n a rîz in saḷri v £100.”

Lūpin gev ʈri ćirz, n w rapt ɖ tebl fyrịsli, ẃć bròt in Sẹra t si ẃt ɖ matr wz. Lūpin ordrd s t “fil p” agn, n adresñ s upstandñ, sd: “Hvñ bn in ɖ frm v Jǒb Clenndz, stoc n śer brocrz, a fy wīcs, n nt hvñ peid ptiklr atnśn t ɖ inṭrests v mî s’pirịrz in ofis, mî Guvnr, az a rword t m, alotd m £5 wrʈ v śerz in a riyli gd ʈñ. Ɖ rzult z, tde I hv md £200.” I sd: “Lūpin, y r jocñ.” “No, Guv., it’s ɖ gd old truʈ; Jǒb Clenndz pt m on t Clōrets.”

Jańri 21. – I am vri mć cnsrnd at Lūpin hvñ startd a ponitrap. I sd: “Lūpin, r y jusṭfaid in ɖs ǎtrejs xtraṿgns?” Lūpin rplaid: “Wel, wn mst gt t ɖ Siti smhǎ. I’v onli hîrd it, n cn gv it p eni tîm I lîc.” I rpitd mî qsćn: “R y jusṭfaid in ɖs xtraṿgns?” H rplaid: “Lc hir, Guv., xkz m seyñ so, bt y’r a bit ǎt v det. It dz nt pe nawdez, fiḍlñ abt ovr smōl ʈñz. I d’nt mīn enʈñ prsnl, Guvnr. Mî bos sz f I tec hiz tip, n stic t big ʈñz, I cn mc big muni!” I sd I ʈt ɖ vri îdīa v spekleśn most hoṛfayñ. Lūpin sd “It z nt spekleśn, it’s a ded srt.” I advîzd him, at ol ivnts, nt t cntiny ɖ poni n cart; bt h rplaid: “I md £200 in wn de; nǎ s’poz I onli mc £200 in a munʈ, or pt it at £100 a munʈ, ẃć z r’dikḷsli lo – ẃ, ɖt z £1,250 a yir. Ẃt’s a fy pǎndz a wīc fr a trap?”

I dd nt psy ɖ subjict frɖr, bynd seyñ ɖt I śd fīl glad ẃn ɖ ōtm cem, n Lūpin wd b v ej n rsponsbl fr hiz ǒn déts. H ansrd: “Mî dir Guv., I promis y feʈf̣li ɖt I wl nvr speklet wɖ ẃt I hv nt got. I śl onli g on Jǒb Clenndz’ tips, n az h z in ɖ ‘nǒ’ it z priti sef sêlñ.” I flt smẃt rlivd. Gowñ cōld in ɖ īvnñ n, t mî s’prîz, informd m ɖt, az h hd md £10 bî wn v Lūpin’z tips, h intndd ascñ s n ɖ Cumñz rnd nxt Saṭde. Cári n I sd w śd b dlîtd.

Jańri 22. – I d’nt jenṛli lūz mî tmpr wɖ srvnts; bt I hd t spīc t Sẹra rɖr śarpli abt a cerlis habit ś hz rīsntli cntractd v śecñ ɖ teblcloʈ, aftr rmuvñ ɖ brecfst ʈñz, in a manr ẃć cōzz ol ɖ crumz t fōl on ɖ carpit, ivnć̣li t b trodn in. Sẹra ansrd vri rūdli: “Ǒ, y r olwz cmplenñ.” I rplaid: “Indd, I am nt. I spouc t y last wīc abt wōcñ ol ovr ɖ drw̃rūm carpit wɖ a pìs v yelo sop on ɖ hìl v yr būt.” Ś sd: “N y’r olwz grumḅlñ abt yr brecfst.” I sd: “No, I am nt; bt I fīl prf̣cli jusṭfaid in cmplenñ ɖt I nvr cn gt a hard-bôld eg. Ɖ momnt I crac ɖ śel it sprts ol ovr ɖ plet, n I hv spocn t y at līst fifti tîmz abt it.” Ś bgan t crî n mc a sīn; bt forćṇtli mî ’bus cem bî, so I hd a gd xks fr līvñ hr. Gowñ left a mesij in ɖ īvnñ, ɖt w wr nt t fget nxt Saṭde. Cári aḿzñli sd: “Az h hz nvr asct eni frendz bfr, w r nt lîcli t fget it.”

Jańri 23. – I asct Lūpin t trî n ćenj ɖ hard bruśz, h rīsntli md m a preznt v, fr sm softr wnz, az mî herdresr tlz m I òt nt t bruś mî her tù mć jst nǎ.

Jańri 24. – Ɖ ny ćimniglas cem hom fr ɖ bac drw̃rūm. Cári arenjd sm fanz vri priṭli on ɖ top n on ć sîd. It z an imns impruvmnt t ɖ rūm.

Jańri 25. – W hd jst finiśt ǎr ti, ẃn hu śd cm in bt Cumñz, hu hz nt bn hir fr ovr ʈri wīcs. I notist ɖt h lct enʈñ bt wel, so I sd: “Wel, Cumñz, hǎ r y? Y lc a litl blu.” H rplaid: “Yes! n I fīl blu tù.” I sd: “Ẃ, ẃt’s ɖ matr?” H sd: “Ǒ, nʈñ, xpt ɖt I hv bn on mî bac fr a cupl v wīcs, ɖt’s ol. At wn tîm mî doctr nirli gev m p, yt nt a soul hz cm nir m. Nwn hz īvn tecn ɖ trubl t inqîr ẃɖr I wz alîv or ded.”

I sd: “Ɖs z ɖ frst I hv hŕd v it. I hv pást yr hǎs sevṛl nîts, n prizymd y hd cumṗni, az ɖ rūmz wr so briłntli lîtd.”Cumñz rplaid: “No! Ɖ onli cumṗni I hv hd wz mî wîf, ɖ doctr, n ɖ landledi – ɖ last-nemd hvñ trnd ǎt a prfict trump. I wundr y dd nt si it in ɖ pepr. I nǒ it wz mnśnd in ɖ Bîsicl Nyz.”

I ʈt t ćir him p, n sd: “Wel, y r ol rît nǎ?”

H rplaid: “Ɖt’s nt ɖ qsćn. Ɖ qsćn z ẃɖr an ilnis dz nt inebl y t dscuvr hu r yr tru frendz.”

I sd sć an obẓveśn wz unwrɖi v him. T mc matrz wrs, in cem Gowñ, hu gev Cumñz a vayḷnt slap on ɖ bac, n sd: “Hlo! Hv y sìn a gost? Y lc scerd t deʈ, lîc Ŕvñ in Mcbeʈ.” I sd: “Jntli, Gowñ, ɖ pur felo hz bn vri il.” Gowñ rord wɖ laftr n sd: “Yes, n y lc it, tù.” Cumñz qaytli sd: “Yes, n I fīl it tù – nt ɖt I s’poz y cer.”

An ōcẉd sîḷns foloud. Gowñ sd: “Nvr mînd, Cumñz, y n ɖ misis cm rnd t mî ples tmoro, n it wl ćir y p a bit; fr w’l opn a botl v wîn.”

Jańri 26. – An xtrordnri ʈñ hapnd. Cári n I wnt rnd t Gowñ’z, az arenjd, at haf-past sevn. W noct n rañ sevṛl tîmz wɖt gtñ an ansr. At last ɖ lać wz drwn n ɖ dor opnd a litl we, ɖ ćen stl biyñ p. A man in śrtslīvz pt hiz hed ʈru n sd: “Hu z it? Ẃt d y wont?” I sd: “Mr. Gowñ, h z xpctñ s.” Ɖ man sd (az wel az I cd hír, owñ t ɖ yapñ v a litl dog): “I d’nt ʈnc h z. Mr. Gowñ z nt at hom.” I sd: “H wl b in d’recli.”

Wɖ ɖt obẓveśn h slamd ɖ dor, līvñ Cári n m standñ on ɖ steps wɖ a cutñ wind blowñ rnd ɖ cornr.Cári advîzd m t noc agn. I dd so, n ɖen dscuvrd fr ɖ frst tîm ɖt ɖ nocr hd bn nyli pentd, n ɖ pent hd cm of on mî gluvz – ẃć wr, in consiqns, cmplitli spôld.

I noct at ɖ dor wɖ mî stic tū or ʈri tîmz.

Ɖ man opnd ɖ dor, tecñ ɖ ćen of ɖs tîm, n bgan abyzñ m. H sd: “Ẃt d y mīn bî scraćñ ɖ pent wɖ yr stic lîc ɖt, spôlñ ɖ varniś? Y òt t b aśemd v yrslf.”

I sd: “Pardn m, Mr. Gowñ invîtd – ”

H inṭruptd n sd: “I d’nt cer fr Mr. Gowñ, or eni v hiz frendz. Ɖs z dor, nt Mr. Gowñ’z. Ɖr r ppl hir bsdz Mr. Gowñ.”

Ɖ imprtinns v ɖs man wz nʈñ. I scersli notist it, it wz so trivịl in cmparisn wɖ ɖ scandḷs conduct v Gowñ.

At ɖs momnt Cumñz n hiz wîf arîvd. Cumñz wz vri lem n līnñ on a stic; bt got p ɖ steps n asct ẃt ɖ matr wz.

Ɖ man sd: “Mr. Gowñ sd nʈñ abt xpctñ enwn. Ol h sd wz h hd jst rsivd an invteśn t Crôdn, n h śd nt b bac tl Munde īvnñ. H tc hiz bag wɖ him.”

Wɖ ɖt h slamd ɖ dor agn. I wz tù indignnt wɖ Gowñ’z conduct t se enʈñ. Cumñz lct ẃît wɖ rej, n az h dsndd ɖ steps struc hiz stic vayḷntli on ɖ grǎnd n sd: “Scǎndṛl!”

ĆAPTR XV

Gowñ xplenz hiz conduct. Lūpin tecs s fr a drîv, ẃć w d’nt injô. Lūpin intṛdysz s t Mr. Muri Poś.

Febrri 8. – It dz sīm hard I canot gt gd soṣjz fr brecfst. Ɖe r îɖr fl v bred or spîs, or r az red az bīf. Stl añśs abt ɖ £20 I invstd last wīc bî Lūpin’z advîs. Hvr, Cumñz hz dn ɖ sem.

Febrri 9. – Xacli a fortnît hz pást, n I hv nɖr sìn nr hŕd fṛm Gowñ rspctñ hiz xtrordnri conduct in ascñ s rnd t hiz hǎs, n ɖen biyñ ǎt. In ɖ īvnñ Cári wz ingejd marcñ a haf-duzn ny coḷrz I hd prćist. I’l bac Cári’z marcñ agnst enbdi’z. Ẃl I wz drayñ ɖm at ɖ fîr, n Cári wz rbycñ m fr scorćñ ɖm, Cumñz cem in.

H sīmd qt wel agn, n ćaft s abt marcñ ɖ coḷrz. I asct him f h hd hŕd fṛm Gowñ, n h rplaid ɖt h hd nt. I sd I śd nt hv b’livd ɖt Gowñ cd hv actd in sć an unjntlmnli manr. Cumñz sd: “Y r mîld in yr dscripśn v him; I ʈnc h hz actd lîc a cad.”Ɖ wrdz wr scersli ǎt v hiz mǎʈ ẃn ɖ dor opnd, n Gowñ, ptñ in hiz hed, sd: “Me I cm in?” I sd: “Srtnli.” Cári sd vri pôntidli: “Wel, y r a strenjr.” Gowñ sd: “Yes, I’v bn on n of t Crôdn jrñ ɖ last fortnît.” I cd si Cumñz wz bôlñ ovr, n ivnć̣li h tacld Gowñ vri stroñli rspctñ hiz conduct last Saṭde wīc. Gowñ apird s’prîzd, n sd: “Ẃ, I postd a letr t y in ɖ mornñ anǎnsñ ɖt ɖ parti wz ‘of, vri mć of.’” I sd: “I nvr got it.” Gowñ, trnñ t Cári, sd: “I s’poz letrz smtmz mscari, d’nt ɖe, Msz. Cári?” Cumñz śarpli sd: “Ɖs z nt a tîm fr jocñ. I hd no notis v ɖ parti biyñ pt of.” Gowñ rplaid: “I tld Pūtr in mî not t tel y, az I wz in a huri. Hvr, I’l inqîr at ɖ post-ofis, n w mst mīt agn at mî ples.” I add ɖt I hopt h wd b preznt at ɖ nxt mītñ. Cári rord at ɖs, n īvn Cumñz cd nt hlp lafñ.

Febrri 10, Súnde. – Contrri t mî wśz, Cári alaud Lūpin t pswed hr t tec hr fr a drîv in ɖ afṭnun in hiz trap. I qt dis’pruv v drîvñ on a Súnde, bt I dd nt lîc t trust Cári alon wɖ Lūpin, so I ofrd t g tù. Lūpin sd: “Nǎ, ɖt z nîs v y, Guv., bt y w’nt mînd sitñ on ɖ bacsīt v ɖ cart?”

Lūpin pṛsidd t pt on a brît-blu cot ɖt sīmd mîlz tù larj fr him. Cári sd it wontd tecñ in cnsidṛbli at ɖ bac. Lūpin sd: “Hv’nt y sìn a boxcot bfr? Y c’nt drîv in enʈñ els.”H me wer ẃt h lîcs in ɖ fyćr, fr I śl nvr drîv wɖ him agn. Hiz conduct wz śocñ. Ẃn w pást Hîget Arćwe, h traid t pas evrʈñ n evrbdi. H śǎtd t rspctbl ppl hu wr wōcñ qaytli in ɖ rod t gt ǎt v ɖ we; h flict at ɖ hors v an old man hu wz rîdñ, cōzñ it t rir; n, az I hd t rîd bcwdz, I wz cmpeld t fes a gañ v rufs in a doncicart, hūm Lūpin hd ćaft, n hu trnd n foloud s fr nirli a mîl, belowñ, induljñ in cōrs jocs n laftr, t se nʈñ v oceźṇli pltñ s wɖ orinjpīl.

Lūpin’z xks – ɖt ɖ Prins v Wêlz wd hv t pt p wɖ ɖ sem sort v ʈñ f h drouv t ɖ Darbi – wz v litl conṣleśn t îɖr Cári or mslf. Franc Mutlr cōld in ɖ īvnñ, n Lūpin wnt ǎt wɖ him.

Febrri 11. – Fīlñ a litl cnsrnd abt Lūpin, I mustrd p curij t spīc t Mr. Prcup abt him. Mr. Prcup hz olwz bn most cînd t m, so I tld him evrʈñ, includñ yesṭde’z advnćr. Mr. Prcup cîndli rplaid: “Ɖr z no nseṣti fr y t b añśs, Mr. Pūtr. It wd b imposbl fr a sun v sć gd peṛnts t trn ǎt irońsli. Rmembr h z yuñ, n wl sn gt oldr. I wś w cd fînd rūm fr him in ɖs frm.” Ɖ advîs v ɖs gd man tecs lodz of mî mînd. In ɖ īvnñ Lūpin cem in.

Aftr ǎr litl supr, h sd: “Mî dir peṛnts, I hv sm nyz, ẃć I fir wl afct y cnsidṛbli.” I flt a qām cm ovr m, n sd nʈñ. Lūpin ɖen sd: “It me dstres y – in fact, I’m śr it wl – bt ɖs afṭnun I hv gvn p mî poni n trap fr evr.” It me sīm absrd, bt I wz so plizd, I imīɉtli opnd a botl v port. Gowñ dropt in jst in tîm, brññ wɖ him a larj śīt, wɖ a print v a teiļis donci, ẃć h fasnd agnst ɖ wōl. H ɖen pṛdyst sevṛl sepṛt teilz, n w spent ɖ rmendr v ɖ īvnñ trayñ blîndfoldd t pin a teil on in ɖ propr ples. Mî sîdz poztivli ect wɖ laftr ẃn I wnt t bed.

Febrri 12. – In ɖ īvnñ I spouc t Lūpin abt hiz ingejmnt wɖ Deizi Mutlr. I asct f h hd hŕd fṛm hr. H rplaid: “No; ś promist ɖt old windbag v a faɖr v hrz ɖt ś wd nt cḿṇcet wɖ m. I si Franc Mutlr, v cors; in fact, h sd h mt cōl agn ɖs īvnñ.” Franc cōld, bt sd h cd nt stop, az h hd a frend wêtñ ǎtsd fr him, nemd Muri Poś, adñ h wz qt a swel. Cári asct Franc t brñ him in.

H wz bròt in, Gowñ enṭrñ at ɖ sem tîm. Mr. Muri Poś wz a tōl, fat yuñ man, n wz evidntli v a vri nrṿs dispziśn, az h subsiqntli cnfest h wd nvr g in a hansmcab, nr wd h entr a for-ẃīlr untl ɖ drîvr hd frst got on ɖ box wɖ hiz reinz in hiz handz.

Mr. Murray Posh
Mr. Muri Poś

On biyñ intṛdyst, Gowñ, wɖ hiz yźl wont v tact, sd: “Eni rleśn t ‘Poś’z ʈri-śilñ hats’?” Mr. Poś rplaid: “Yes; bt plīz unḍstand I d’nt trî on hats mslf. I tec no activ part in ɖ biznis.” I rplaid: “I wś I hd a biznis lîc it.” Mr. Poś sīmd plizd, n gev a loñ bt most inṭrestñ hisṭri v ɖ xtrordnri dificltiz in ɖ mańfacćr v ćīp hats.

Muri Poś evidntli ń Deizi Mutlr vri intiṃtli fṛm ɖ we h wz tōcñ v hr; n Franc sd t Lūpin wns, lafñli: “F y d’nt lc ǎt, Poś wl cut y ǎt!” Ẃn ɖe hd ol gn, I rfŕd t ɖs flipnt convseśn; n Lūpin sd, sarcasticli: “A man hu z jeḷs hz no rspct fr himslf. A man hu wd b jeḷs v an elifnt lîc Muri Poś cd onli hv a cntmt fr himslf. I nǒ Deizi. Ś wd wêt ten yirz fr m, az I sd bfr; in fact, f nesṣri, ś wd wêt twenti yirz fr m.”

ĆAPTR XVI

W lūz muni ovr Lūpin’z advîs az t invstmnt, so dz Cumñz. Muri Poś ingejd t Deizi Mutlr.

Febrri 18. – Cári hz sevṛl tîmz rīsntli cōld atnśn t ɖ ʈiņis v mî her at ɖ top v mî hed, n rec̣mndd m t gt it sìn t. I wz ɖs mornñ trayñ t lc at it bî ɖ ed v a smōl hand-glas, ẃn smhǎ mî elbo còt agnst ɖ éj v ɖ ćst v drorz n noct ɖ glas ǎt v mî hand n smaśt it. Cári wz in an ōfl we abt it, az ś z rɖr absrdli sūṗstiśs. T mc matrz wrs, mî larj foṭgraf in ɖ drw̃rūm fél jrñ ɖ nît, n ɖ glas cract.

Cári sd: “Marc mî wrdz, Ćarlz, sm msfortyn z abt t hapn.”I sd: “Nonsns, dir.”

In ɖ īvnñ Lūpin arîvd hom rli, n sīmd a litl ajtetd. I sd: “Ẃt’s p, mî bô?” H heztetd a gd dīl, n ɖen sd: “Y nǒ ɖoz Paṛćica Clōrets I advîzd y t invst £20 in?” I rplaid: “Yes, ɖe r ol rît, I trust?” H rplaid: “Wel, no! T ɖ s’prîz v evrbdi, ɖe hv utrli c’lapst.”

Mî breʈ wz so cmplitli tecn awe, I cd se nʈñ. Cári lct at m, n sd: “Ẃt dd I tel y?” Lūpin, aftr a ẃl, sd: “Hvr, y r speṣ́li forćṇt. I rsivd an rli tip, n sold ǎt yrz imīɉtli, n wz forćṇt t gt £2 fr ɖm. So y gt smʈñ aftr ol.”

I gev a sai v rlif. I sd: “I wz nt so sanḡn az t s’poz, az y pridictd, ɖt I śd gt six or et tîmz ɖ amǎnt v mî invstmnt; stl a profit v £2 z a gd psntij fr sć a śort tîm.” Lūpin sd, qt iritbli: “Y d’nt unḍstand. I sold yr £20 śerz fr £2; y ɖrfr lūz £18 on ɖ trnzax́n, ẃr-bî Cumñz n Gowñ wl lūz ɖ hol v ɖerz.”

Febrri 19. – Lūpin, bfr gwñ t tǎn, sd: “I am vri sori abt ɖoz Paṛćica Clōrets; it wd nt hv hapnd f ɖ bos, Jǒb Clenndz, hd bn in tǎn. Btwn ǎrslvz, y mst nt b s’prîzd f smʈñ gz roñ at ǎr ofis. Jǒb Clenndz hz nt bn sìn ɖ last fy dez, n it strîcs m sevṛl ppl d wont t si him vri ptiklrli.”

In ɖ īvnñ Lūpin wz jst on ɖ pônt v gwñ ǎt t avôd a c’liźn wɖ Gowñ n Cumñz, ẃn ɖ formr entrd ɖ rūm, wɖt nocñ, bt wɖ hiz yźl tric v seyñ, “Me I cm in?”H entrd, n t ɖ s’prîz v Lūpin n mslf, sīmd t b in ɖ vri bst v spirits. Nɖr Lūpin nr I broćt ɖ subjict t him, bt h dd so v hiz ǒn acord. H sd: “I se, ɖoz Paṛćica Clōrets hv gn an ōfl smaś! Y’r a nîs wn, Mastr Lūpin. Hǎ mć d y lūz?” Lūpin, t mî utr astoniśmnt, sd: “Ǒ! I hd nʈñ in ɖm. Ɖr wz sm informaḷti in mî apḷceśn – I fgot t incloz ɖ ćéc or smʈñ, n I dd’nt gt eni. Ɖ Guv. luzz £18.” I sd: “I qt unḍstd y wr in it, or nʈñ wd hv indyst m t speklet.” Lūpin rplaid: “Wel, it c’nt b hlpt; y mst g dubl on ɖ nxt tip.” Bfr I cd rplî, Gowñ sd: “Wel, I lūz nʈñ, forćṇtli. Fṛm ẃt I hŕd, I dd nt qt b’liv in ɖm, so I pswedd Cumñz t tec mî £15 wrʈ, az h hd mor feʈ in ɖm ɖn I hd.”

Lūpin brst ǎt lafñ, n, in ɖ most unsīmli manr, sd: “Alas, pur Cumñz. H’l lūz £35.” At ɖt momnt ɖr wz a rñ at ɖ bel. Lūpin sd: “I d’nt wont t mīt Cumñz.” F h hd gn ǎt v ɖ dor h wd hv met him in ɖ pasij, so az qcli az poṣbl Lūpin opnd ɖ parlrwindo n got ǎt. Gowñ jumt p sudnli, xclemñ: “I d’nt wont t si him îɖr!” n, bfr I cd se a wrd, h foloud Lūpin ǎt v ɖ windo.

Fr mî ǒn part, I wz hoṛfaid t ʈnc mî ǒn sun n wn v mî most intiṃt frendz śd dpart fṛm ɖ hǎs lîc a cupl v inṭruptd brglrz. Pur Cumñz wz vri upset, n v cors wz naćṛli vri angri bʈ wɖ Lūpin n Gowñ. I prest him t hv a litl ẃisci, n h rplaid ɖt h hd gvn p ẃisci; bt wd lîc a litl “Unswītnd,” az h wz advîzd it wz ɖ most hlʈi spirit. I hd nn in ɖ hǎs, bt snt Sẹra rnd t Locwŭd’z fr sm.

Febrri 20. – Ɖ frst ʈñ ɖt còt mî î on oṗnñ ɖ Standd wz – “Gret Fełr v Stoc n Śer Dīlrz! Mr. Jǒb Clenndz abscondd!” I handd it t Cári, n ś rplaid: “Ǒ! phps it’s fr Lūpin’z gd. I nvr dd ʈnc it a sūṭbl sićueśn fr him.” I ʈt ɖ hol afer vri śocñ.

Lūpin cem dǎn t brecfst, n siyñ h lct penf̣li dstrest, I sd: “W nǒ ɖ nyz, mî dir bô, n fīl vri sori fr y.” Lūpin sd: “Hǎ dd y nǒ? hu tld y?” I handd him ɖ Standd. H ʈrù ɖ pepr dǎn, n sd: “Ǒ I d’nt cer a butn fr ɖt! I xpctd ɖt, bt I dd nt xpct ɖs.” H ɖen réd a letr fṛm Franc Mutlr, anǎnsñ, in a cūl manr, ɖt Deizi Mutlr z t b marid nxt munʈ t Muri Poś. I xclemd, “Muri Poś! Z nt ɖt ɖ vri man Franc hd ɖ impydns t brñ hir last Tyzde wīc?” Lūpin sd: “Yes; ɖ ‘Poś’z-ʈri-śilñ-hats’ ćap.”W ol ɖen ét ǎr brecfst in ded sîḷns.

In fact, I cd īt nʈñ. I wz nt onli tù wurid, bt I canot n wl nt īt cŭśn v bêcn. F I canot gt strīci bêcn, I wl d wɖt enʈñ.

Ẃn Lūpin rouz t g I notist a mliśs smîl crīp ovr hiz fes. I asct him ẃt it mnt. H rplaid: “Ǒ! onli a litl conṣleśn – stl it z a conṣleśn. I hv jst rmembrd ɖt, bî advîs, Mr. Muri Poś hz invstd £600 in Paṛćica Clōrets!”

ĆAPTR XVII

Marij v Deizi Mutlr n Muri Poś. Ɖ drīm v mî lîf riylîzd. Mr. Prcup tecs Lūpin intu ɖ ofis.

Marć 20. – Tde biyñ ɖ de on ẃć Deizi Mutlr n Mr. Muri Poś r t b marid, Lūpin hz gn wɖ a frend t spend ɖ de at Grevzend. Lūpin hz bn mć cut-up ovr ɖ afer, olɖo h dclerz ɖt h z glad it z of. I wś h wd nt g t so mni ḿzichōlz, bt wn der nt se enʈñ t him abt it. At ɖ preznt momnt h iṛtets m bî sññ ol ovr ɖ hǎs sm nonsns abt “Ẃt’s ɖ matr wɖ Gladstn? H’z ol rît! Ẃt’s ɖ matr wɖ Lūpin? H’z ol rît!” I d’nt ʈnc îɖr v ɖm z. In ɖ īvnñ Gowñ cōld, n ɖ ćīf topic v convseśn wz Deizi’z marij t Muri Poś. I sd: “I wz glad ɖ matr wz at an end, az Deizi wd onli hv md a fūl v Lūpin.” Gowñ, wɖ hiz yźl gd test, sd: “Ǒ, Mastr Lūpin cn mc a fūl v himslf wɖt eni asistns.” Cári vri proprli rzntd ɖs, n Gowñ hd sfiśnt sns t se h wz sori.

Marć 21. – Tde I śl cnclud mî dayri, fr it z wn v ɖ hapiist dez v mî lîf. Mî gret drīm v ɖ last fy wīcs – in fact, v mni yirz – hz bn riylîzd. Ɖs mornñ cem a letr fṛm Mr. Prcup, ascñ m t tec Lūpin dǎn t ɖ ofis wɖ m. I wnt t Lūpin’z rūm; pur felo, h sīmd vri pel, n sd h hd a bad hed-ec. H hd cm bac yesṭde fṛm Grevzend, ẃr h spent part v ɖ de in a smōl bot on ɖ wōtr, hvñ bn mad inuf t nglect t tec hiz oṿcot wɖ him. I śoud him Mr. Prcup’s letr, n h got p az qcli az poṣbl. I begd v him nt t pt on hiz fast-culrd cloɖz n tîz, bt t dres in smʈñ blac or qayt-lcñ.

Cári wz ol v a-trembl ẃn ś réd ɖ letr, n ol ś cd cīp on seyñ wz: “Ǒ, I d hop it wl b ol rît.” Fr mslf, I cd scersli īt eni brecfst. Lūpin cem dǎn drest qaytli, n lcñ a prfict jntlmn, xpt ɖt hiz fes wz rɖr yelo. Cári, bî we v incurijmnt sd: “Y d lc nîs, Lūpin.” Lūpin rplaid: “Yes, it’s a gd mc-up, z’nt it? A reğlr-dǎnrît-rspctbl-fynirịl-frst-clas-Siti-frm-jūńr-clarc.” H laft rɖr îronicli.In ɖ hōl I hŕd a gret nôz, n olso Lūpin śǎtñ t Sẹra t feć dǎn hiz old hat. I wnt intu ɖ pasij, n faund Lūpin in a fyri, cicñ n smaśñ a ny tōl hat. I sd: “Lūpin, mî bô, ẃt r y dwñ? Hǎ wicid v y! Sm pur felo wd b glad t hv it.” Lūpin rplaid: “I wd nt insult eni pur felo bî gvñ it t him.”

Ẃn h hd gn ǎtsd, I pict p ɖ batrd hat, n sw insd “Poś’z Petnt.” Pur Lūpin! I cn fgiv him. It sīmd aurz bfr w rīćt ɖ ofis. Mr. Prcup snt fr Lūpin, hu wz wɖ him nirli an aur. H rtrnd, az I ʈt, crestfōḷn in apiṛns. I sd: “Wel, Lūpin, hǎ abt Mr. Prcup?” Lūpin cmnst hiz soñ: “Ẃt’s ɖ matr wɖ Prcup? H’z ol rît!” I flt instñtivli mî bô wz ingejd. I wnt t Mr. Prcup, bt I cd nt spīc. H sd: “Wel, Mr. Pūtr, ẃt z it?” I mst hv lct a fūl, fr ol I cd se wz: “Mr. Prcup, y r a gd man.” H lct at m fr a momnt, n sd: “No, Mr. Pūtr, y r ɖ gd man; n w’l si f w canot gt yr sun t folo sć an xḷnt xampl.” I sd: “Mr. Prcup, me I g hom? I canot wrc eni mor tde.”

Mî gd mastr śc mî hand wormli az h nodd hiz hed. It wz az mć az I cd d t privnt mslf fṛm crayñ in ɖ ’bus; in fact, I śd hv dn so, hd mî ʈts nt bn inṭruptd bî Lūpin, hu wz hvñ a qoṛl wɖ a fat man in ɖ ’bus, hūm h akzd v tecñ p tù mć rūm.

In ɖ īvnñ Cári snt rnd fr dir old frend Cumñz n hiz wîf, n olso t Gowñ. W ol sat rnd ɖ fîr, n in a botl v “Jacsn Frer,” ẃć Sẹra fećt fṛm ɖ grosr’z, dranc Lūpin’z hlʈ. I le awec fr aurz, ʈncñ v ɖ fyćr. Mî bô in ɖ sem ofis az mslf – w cn g dǎn tgɖr bî ɖ ’bus, cm hom tgɖr, n hu nz bt in ɖ cors v tîm h me tec gret inṭrest in ǎr litl hom. Ɖt h me hlp m t pt a nêl in hir or a nêl in ɖr, or hlp hiz dir muɖr t hañ a picćr. In ɖ sumr h me hlp s in ǎr litl gardn wɖ ɖ flǎrz, n asist s t pent ɖ standz n pots. (Bî-ɖ-bî, I mst gt in sm mor inaml pent.) Ol ɖs I ʈt ovr n ovr agn, n a ʈǎznd hapi ʈts bsd. I hŕd ɖ cloc strîc for, n sn aftr fél aslip, onli t drīm v ʈri hapi ppl – Lūpin, dir Cári, n mslf.

ĆAPTR XVIII

Trubl wɖ a stîḷgrafic pén. W g t a Voḷntirbōl, ẃr I am let in fr an xpnsiv supr. Grosli insultd bî a cabmn. An od invteśn t Sǎʈend.

Epril 8. – No ivnts v eni importns, xpt ɖt Gowñ stroñli rec̣mndd a ny petnt stîḷgrafic pén, ẃć cost m nîn-n-sixpns, n ẃć wz simpli nîn-n-sixpns ʈroun in ɖ mud. It hz cōzd m constnt anoyns n iritbiḷti v tmpr. Ɖ ñc ūzz ǎt v ɖ top, mcñ a mes on mî handz, n wns at ɖ ofis ẃn I wz nocñ ɖ pām v mî hand on ɖ dsc t jrc ɖ ñc dǎn, Mr. Prcup, hu hd jst entrd, cōld ǎt: “Stop ɖt nocñ! I s’poz ɖt z y, Mr. Pít?” Ɖt yuñ munci, Pít, tc a mliśs gli in rspondñ qt lǎdli: “No, sr; I beg pardn, it z Mr. Pūtr wɖ hiz pén; it hz bn gwñ on ol ɖ mornñ.” T mc matrz wrs, I sw Lūpin lafñ bhnd hiz dsc. I ʈt it wîzr t se nʈñ. I tc ɖ pén bac t ɖ śop n asct ɖm f ɖe wd tec it bac, az it dd nt act. I dd nt xpct ɖ fl prîs rtrnd, bt wz wilñ t tec haf. Ɖ man sd h cd nt d ɖt – bayñ n selñ wr tū difṛnt ʈñz. Lūpin’z conduct jrñ ɖ pirịd h hz bn in Mr. Prcup’s ofis hz bn most xmpḷri. Mî onli fir z, it z tù gd t last.

Epril 9. – Gowñ cōld, brññ wɖ him an invteśn fr Cári n mslf t a bōl gvn bî ɖ Īst Actn Rîfl Briged, ẃć h ʈt wd b a swel afer, az ɖ membr fr Īst Actn (Sr Wiłm Grîm) hd promist hiz patṛnij. W axptd v hiz cîndnis, n h steid t supr, an oceźn I ʈt sūṭbl fr trayñ a botl v ɖ sparc̣lñ Alźera ɖt Mr. Jemz (v Sutn) hd snt az a preznt. Gowñ sipt ɖ wîn, obzrvñ ɖt h hd nvr testd it bfr, n frɖr rmarct ɖt hiz poḷsi wz t stic t mor rec̣gnîzd brandz. I tld him it wz a preznt fṛm a dir frend, n wn ms’nt lc a gifthors in ɖ mǎʈ. Gowñ fsīśsli rplaid: “N h dd’nt lîc ptñ it in ɖ mǎʈ îɖr.”

I ʈt ɖ rmarcs wr rūd wɖt biyñ funi, bt on testñ it mslf, cem t ɖ cncluźn ɖr wz sm justif̣ceśn fr ɖm. Ɖ sparc̣lñ Alźera z vri lîc sîdr, onli mor sǎr. I sjstd ɖt phps ɖ ʈundr hd trnd it a bit asid. H mirli rplaid: “Ǒ! I d’nt ʈnc so.” W hd a vri pleznt gem v cardz, ɖo I lost for śilñz n Cári lost wn, n Gowñ sd h hd lost abt sixpns: hǎ h cd hv lost, cnsiḍrñ ɖt Cári n I wr ɖ onli uɖr pleyrz, rmenz a misṭri.

Epril 14, Súnde. – Owñ, I prizym, t ɖ unsetld weɖr, I awouc wɖ a fīlñ ɖt mî scin wz drwn ovr mî fes az tît az a drum. Wōcñ rnd ɖ gardn wɖ Mr. n Msz. Trien, membrz v ǎr congṛgeśn hu hd wōct bac wɖ s, I wz mć anoid t fînd a larj nyzpepr fl v bonz on ɖ gravlpaʈ, evidntli ʈroun ovr bî ɖoz yuñ Grifin bôz nxt dor; hu, ẃnvr w hv frendz, clîm p ɖ emti steps insd ɖer cnsrṿtri, tap at ɖ windoz, mcñ fesz, ẃiṣlñ, n iṃtetñ brdz.

Young Griffin boys making faces, whistling and imitating birds.
Yuñ Grifin bôz mcñ fesz, ẃiṣlñ, n iṃtetñ brdz.

Epril 15. – Brnt mî tuñ most ōf̣li wɖ ɖ Wŭstr sōs, ʈru ɖt stypid grl Sẹra śecñ ɖ botl vayḷntli bfr ptñ it on ɖ tebl.

Epril 16. – Ɖ nît v ɖ Īst Actn Voḷntirbōl. On mî advîs, Cári pt on ɖ sem dres ɖt ś lct so bytifl in at ɖ Manśnhǎs, fr it hd ocŕd t m, biyñ a militri bōl, ɖt Mr. Prcup, hu, I b’liv, z an ofisr in ɖ Oṇrri Artiḷricumṗni, wd in ol probbiḷti b preznt. Lūpin, in hiz yźl incomprihnsbl lanḡj, rmarct ɖt h hd hŕd it wz a “bǎndrz’ bōl.” I dd’nt asc him ẃt h mnt ɖo I dd’nt unḍstand. Ẃr h gts ɖz xpreśnz fṛm I d’nt nǒ; h srtnli dz’nt lrn ɖm at hom.

Ɖ invteśn wz fr haf-past et, so I cncludd f w arîvd an aur lêtr w śd b in gd tîm, wɖt biyñ “unfaśṇbl,” az Msz. Jemz sz. It wz vri dificlt t fînd – ɖ cabmn hvñ t gt dǎn sevṛl tîmz t inqîr at difṛnt publichǎzz ẃr ɖ Drilhōl wz. I wundr at ppl livñ in sć ǎt-v-ɖ-we plesz. Nwn sīmd t nǒ it. Hvr, aftr gwñ p n dǎn a gd mni badli-lîtd strīts w arîvd at ǎr desṭneśn. I hd no îdīa it wz so far fṛm Hoḷwe. I gev ɖ cabmn fîv śilñz, hu onli grumbld, seyñ it wz drt-ćīp at haf-a-sovrin, n wz imprtinnt inuf t advîz m ɖ nxt tîm I wnt t a bōl t tec a ’bus. Captin Welcut rsivd s, seyñ w wr rɖr lêt, bt ɖt it wz betr lêt ɖn nvr. H sīmd a vri gd-lcñ jntlmn ɖo, az Cári rmarct, “rɖr śort fr an ofisr.” H begd t b xkzd fr līvñ s, az h wz ingejd fr a dans, n hopt w śd mc ǎrslvz at hom. Cári tc mî arm n w wōct rnd ɖ rūmz tū or ʈri tîmz n woćt ɖ ppl dansñ. I cd’nt fînd a sngl prsn I ń, bt atribytd it t most v ɖm biyñ in yṇform. Az w wr enṭrñ ɖ supŗūm I rsivd a slap on ɖ śoldr, foloud bî a welcm śec v ɖ hand. I sd: “Mr. Paj, I b’liv;” h rplaid, “Ɖt’s rît.”

I gev Cári a ćer, n sītd bî hr wz a ledi hu md hrslf at hom wɖ Cári at wns.

Ɖr wz a vri libṛl rpast on ɖ teblz, plenti v śampen, clarit, ets., n, in fact, evrʈñ sīmd t b dn rgardlis v xpns. Mr. Paj z a man ɖt, I admit, I hv no ptiklr lîcñ fr, bt I flt so glad t cm acrs smwn I ń, ɖt I asct him t sit at ǎr tebl, n I mst se ɖt fr a śort fat man h lct wel in yṇform, olɖo I ʈnc hiz tynic wz rɖr bagi in ɖ bac. It wz ɖ onli supŗūm ɖt I hv bn in ɖt wz nt oṿcrǎdd; in fact w wr ɖ onli ppl ɖr, evrbdi biyñ so bizi dansñ.

I asistd Cári n hr nyli-formd aqentns, hu sd hr nem wz Lupcin, t sm śampen; olso mslf, n handd ɖ botl t Mr. Paj t d lîcwz, seyñ: “Y mst lc aftr yrslf.” H rplaid: “Ɖt’s rît,” n pord ǎt haf a tumblr n dranc Cári’z hlʈ, cupld, az h sd, “wɖ hr wrɖi lord n mastr.” W ol hd sm splendid pijn pî, n îsz t folo.

Ɖ wêtrz wr vri atntiv, n asct f w wd lîc sm mor wîn. I asistd Cári n hr frend n Mr. Paj, olso sm ppl hu hd jst cm fṛm ɖ dansñrūm, hu wr vri sivl. It ocŕd t m at ɖ tîm ɖt phps sm v ɖ jntlṃn ń m in ɖ Siti, az ɖe wr so p’lît. I md mslf ysfl, n asistd sevṛl lediz t îsz, rmemḅrñ an old seyñ ɖt “Ɖr z nʈñ lost bî sviḷti.”

Ɖ band struc p fr ɖ dans, n ɖe ol wnt intu ɖ bōlrūm. Ɖ lediz (Cári n Msz. Lupcin) wr añśs t si ɖ dansñ, n az I hd nt qt finiśt mî supr, Mr. Paj ofrd hiz armz t ɖm n iscortd ɖm t ɖ bōlrūm, telñ m t folo. I sd t Mr. Paj: “It z qt a Wst End afer,” t ẃć rmarc Mr. Paj rplaid: “Ɖt’s rît.”

Ẃn I hd qt finiśt mî supr, n wz līvñ, ɖ wêtr hu hd bn atndñ on s arestd mî atnśn bî tapñ m on ɖ śoldr. I ʈt it unyźl fr a wêtr at a prîṿt bōl t xpct a tip, bt nvɖles gev a śilñ, az h hd bn vri atntiv. H smîlñli rplaid: “I beg yr pardn, sr, ɖs z no gd,” aludñ t ɖ śilñ. “Yr parti’z hd for suprz at 5ś. a hed, fîv îsz at 1ś., ʈri botlz v śampen at 11ś. 6d., a glas v clarit, n a sixṗni sgar fr ɖ stǎt jntlmn – in ol £3 0ś. 6d.!”

I d’nt ʈnc I wz evr so s’prîzd in mî lîf, n hd onli sfiśnt breʈ t inform him ɖt I hd rsivd a prîṿt invteśn, t ẃć h ansrd ɖt h wz prf̣cli wel awer v ɖt; bt ɖt ɖ invteśn dd’nt includ īṭblz n drinc̣blz. A jntlmn hu wz standñ at ɖ bar c’roḅretd ɖ wêtr’z stetmnt, n aśurd m it wz qt c’rect.

Ɖ wêtr sd h wz xtrimli sori f I hd bn undr eni misaprihnśn; bt it wz nt hiz fōlt. V cors ɖr wz nʈñ t b dn bt t pe. So, aftr trnñ ǎt mî pocits, I jst manijd t screp p sfiśnt, ol bt nîn śilñz; bt ɖ manijr, on mî gvñ mî card t him, sd: “Ɖt’s ol rît.”

I d’nt ʈnc I evr flt mor hymilietd in mî lîf, n I dtrmind t cīp ɖs msfortyn fṛm Cári, fr it wd intîrli dstrô ɖ pleznt īvnñ ś wz injoyñ. I flt ɖr wz no mor injômnt fr m ɖt īvnñ, n it biyñ lêt, I sòt Cári n Msz. Lupcin. Cári sd ś wz qt redi t g, n Msz. Lupcin, az w wr wśñ hr “Gdnît,” asct Cári n mslf f w evr peid a vizit t Sǎʈend? On mî rplayñ ɖt I hd’nt bn ɖr fr mni yirz, ś vri cîndli sd: “Wel, ẃ d’nt y cm dǎn n ste at ǎr ples?” Az hr invteśn wz so presñ, n obzrvñ ɖt Cári wśt t g, w promist w wd vizit hr ɖ nxt Saṭde wīc, n ste tl Munde. Msz. Lupcin sd ś wd rait t s tmoro, gvñ s ɖ adres n ptiklrz v trenz, ets.

Ẃn w got ǎtsd ɖ Drilhōl it wz renñ so hard ɖt ɖ rodz rzmbld cnalz, n I nīd hardli se w hd gret dificlti in gtñ a cabmn t tec s t Hoḷwe. Aftr wêtñ a bit, a man sd h wd drîv s, enhǎ, az far az “Ɖ Enjl,” at Izlñtn, n w cd īẓli gt anɖr cab fṛm ɖr. It wz a tīdịs jrni; ɖ ren wz bìtñ agnst ɖ windoz n tric̣lñ dǎn ɖ insd v ɖ cab.

Ẃn w arîvd at “Ɖ Enjl” ɖ hors sīmd tîrd ǎt. Cári got ǎt n ran intu a dorwe, n ẃn I cem t pe, t mî abṣlut horr I rmembrd I hd no muni, nr hd Cári. I xplend t ɖ cabmn hǎ w wr sićuetd. Nvr in mî lîf hv I evr bn so insultd; ɖ cabmn, hu wz a ruf bŭli n t mî ʈncñ nt sobr, cōld m evri nem h cd le hiz tuñ t, n poztivli sizd m bî ɖ bird, ẃć h pld tl ɖ tirz cem intu mî îz. I tc ɖ numbr v a p’līsmn (hu witnist ɖ asōlt) fr nt tecñ ɖ man in ćarj. Ɖ p’līsmn sd h cd’nt inṭfir, ɖt h hd sìn no asōlt, n ɖt ppl śd nt rîd in cabz wɖt muni.

W hd t wōc hom in ɖ porñ ren, nirli tū mîlz, n ẃn I got in I pt dǎn ɖ convseśn I hd wɖ ɖ cabmn, wrd fr wrd, az I intnd raitñ t ɖ Teḷgraf fr ɖ prṗs v pṛpozñ ɖt cabz śd b drivn onli bî men undr Guvnmnt cntrol, t privnt sviłnz biyñ sbjctd t ɖ dsgresfl insult n ǎtrej ɖt I hd hd t indyr.

Epril 17. – No wōtr in ǎr sistn agn. Snt fr Putli, hu sd h wd sn reṃdi ɖt, ɖ sistn biyñ znc.

Epril 18. – Wōtr ol rît agn in ɖ sistn. Msz. Jemz, v Sutn, cōld in ɖ afṭnun. Ś n Cári drept ɖ mantlpìs in ɖ drw̃rūm, n pt litl tôspîdrz, frogz n bītlz ol ovr it, az Msz. Jemz sz it’s qt ɖ faśn. It wz Msz. Jemz’ sjsćn, n v cors Cári olwz dz ẃt Msz. Jemz sjsts. Fr mî part, I prifŕd ɖ mantlpìs az it wz; bt ɖr, I’m a plen man, n d’nt pritnd t b in ɖ faśn.

Epril 19. – Ǎr nxt-dor nebr, Mr. Grifin, cōld, n in a rɖr ofnsiv ton akzd m, or “smwn,” v borñ a houl in hiz sistn n letñ ǎt hiz wōtr t s’plî ǎr sistn, ẃć ajônd hiz. H sd h śd hv hiz rperd, n snd s in ɖ bil.

Epril 20. – Cumñz cōld, hoḅlñ in wɖ a stic, seyñ h hd bn on hiz bac fr a wīc. It apirz h wz trayñ t śut hiz bedrūm dor, ẃć z sićuetd jst at ɖ top v ɖ sterces, n uņoun t him a pìs v corc ɖ dog hd bn pleyñ wɖ hd got btwn ɖ dor, n privntd it śutñ; n in pŭlñ ɖ dor hard, t gv it an xtra slam, ɖ handl cem of in hiz handz, n h fél bcwdz dǎnsterz.

On hírñ ɖs, Lūpin sudnli jumt p fṛm ɖ cǎć n ruśt ǎt v ɖ rūm sîdwez. Cumñz lct vri indignnt, n rmarct it wz vri pur fun a man nirli brecñ hiz bac; n ɖo I hd mî sspiśnz ɖt Lūpin wz lafñ, I aśurd Cumñz ɖt h hd onli run ǎt t opn ɖ dor t a frend h xpctd. Cumñz sd ɖs wz ɖ secnd tîm h hd bn leid p, n w hd nvr snt t inqîr. I sd I ń nʈñ abt it. Cumñz sd: “It wz mnśnd in ɖ Bîsicl Nyz.”

Epril 22. – I hv v lêt frīqntli notist Cári rubñ hr nêlz a gd dīl wɖ an instṛmnt, n on ascñ hr ẃt ś wz dwñ, ś rplaid: “Ǒ, I’m gwñ in fr maṇkrñ. It’s ol ɖ faśn nǎ.” I sd: “I s’poz Msz. Jemz intṛdyst ɖt intu yr hed.” Cári lafñli rplaid: “Yes; bt evrwn dz it nǎ.”

I wś Msz. Jemz wd’nt cm t ɖ hǎs. Ẃnvr ś dz ś olwz intṛdysz sm ny-fandangld rubiś intu Cári’z hed. Wn v ɖz dez I fīl śr I śl tel hr ś’z nt welcm. I am śr it wz Msz. Jemz hu pt Cári p t raitñ on darc slet-culrd pepr wɖ ẃît ñc. Nonsns!

Epril 23. – Rsivd a letr fṛm Msz. Lupcin, v Sǎʈend, telñ s ɖ tren t cm bî on Saṭde, n hopñ w wl cīp ǎr promis t ste wɖ hr. Ɖ letr cncludd: “Y mst cm n ste at ǎr hǎs; w śl ćarj y haf ẃt y wl hv t pe at ɖ Royl, n ɖ vy z evri bit az gd.” Lcñ at ɖ adres at ɖ top v ɖ notpepr, I faund it wz “Lupcin’z Faṃli n Cmrśl Hotel.”

I rout a not, seyñ w wr cmpeld t “dclîn hr cînd invteśn.” Cári ʈt ɖs vri s’tiricl, n t ɖ pônt.Bî-ɖ-bî, I wl nvr ćūz anɖr cloʈpatn at nît. I ordrd a ny sūt v ditoz fr ɖ gardn at Edwdz’, n ćouz ɖ patn bî gaslît, n ɖe sīmd t b a qayt pepr-n-sōlt mixćr wɖ ẃît strîps dǎn. Ɖe cem hom ɖs mornñ, n, t mî horr, I faund it wz qt a flaś-lcñ sūt. Ɖr wz a lot v grīn wɖ brît yelo-culrd strîps.

I traid on ɖ cot, n wz anoid t fînd Cári giġlñ. Ś sd: “Ẃt mixćr dd y se y asct fr?”

I sd: “A qayt pepr n sōlt.”

Cári sd: “Wel, it lcs mor lîc musṭd, f y wont t nǒ ɖ truʈ.”

ĆAPTR XIX

Mīt Tedi Finzwrʈ, an old scūlfelo. W hv a pleznt n qayt dinr at hiz uncl’z, mard onli bî a fy ōcẉd mstecs on mî part rspctñ Mr. Finzwrʈ’s picćrz. A dscuśn on drīmz.

Epril 27. – Cept a litl lêtr ɖn yźl at ɖ ofis, n az I wz huriyñ alñ a man stopt m, seyñ: “Hlo! Ɖt’s a fes I nǒ.” I rplaid p’lîtli: “Vri lîcli; lots v ppl nǒ m, olɖo I me nt nǒ ɖm.” H rplaid: “Bt y nǒ m – Tedi Finzwrʈ.” So it wz. H wz at ɖ sem scūl wɖ m. I hd nt sìn him fr yirz n yirz. No wundr I dd nt nǒ him! At scūl h wz at līst a hed tōlr ɖn I wz; nǎ I am at līst a hed tōlr ɖn h z, n h hz a ʈic bird, olmst gre. H insistd on mî hvñ a glas v wîn (a ʈñ I nvr d), n tld m h livd at Midlzbra, ẃr h wz Depyti Tǎnclarc, a pziśn ẃć wz az hî az ɖ Tǎnclarc v Lundn – in fact, hayr. H add ɖt h wz steyñ fr a fy dez in Lundn, wɖ hiz uncl, Mr. Edgr Pōl Finzwrʈ (v Finzwrʈ n Pŭltwél). H sd h wz śr hiz uncl wd b onli tù plizd t si m, n h hd a nîs hǎs, Wotni Loj, onli a fy minits’ wōc fṛm Muzwél Hil Steśn. I gev him ǎr adres, n w partd.

In ɖ īvnñ, t mî s’prîz, h cōld wɖ a vri nîs letr fṛm Mr. Finzwrʈ, seyñ f w (includñ Cári) wd dîn wɖ ɖm tmoro (Súnde), at tū o’cloc, h wd b dlîtd. Cári dd nt lîc t g; bt Tedi Finzwrʈ prest s so mć w cnsntd. Cári snt Sẹra rnd t ɖ bćr’z n cǎnṭmandd ǎr haf-leg v mutn, ẃć w hd ordrd fr tmoro.

Epril 28, Súnde. – W faund Wotni Loj farɖr of ɖn w antiṣpetd, n onli arîvd az ɖ cloc struc tū, bʈ fīlñ hot n uncumftbl. T mc matrz wrs, a larj colidog pǎnst fwd t rsiv s. H barct lǎdli n jumt p at Cári, cuṿrñ hr lît scrt, ẃć ś wz wẹrñ fr ɖ frst tîm, wɖ mud. Tedi Finzwrʈ cem ǎt n drouv ɖ dog of n apoḷjîzd. W wr śoun intu ɖ drw̃rūm, ẃć wz bytifli dec̣retd. It wz fl v nic-nacs, n sm plets huñ p on ɖ wōl. Ɖr wr sevṛl litl wŭdn milcstūlz wɖ pentñz on ɖm; olso a ẃît wŭdn banjo, pentd bî wn v Mr. Pōl Finzwrʈ’s nīsz – a cuzn v Tedi’z.

Mr. Pōl Finzwrʈ sīmd qt a dstnḡśt-lcñ eldrli jntlmn, n wz most gaḷnt t Cári. Ɖr wr a gret mni wōtrculrz haññ on ɖ wōlz, mostli difṛnt vyz v India, ẃć wr vri brît. Mr. Finzwrʈ sd ɖe wr pentd bî “Simps,” n add ɖt h wz no juj v picćrz himslf bt hd bn informd on gd oʈoṛti ɖt ɖe wr wrʈ sm hundṛdz v pǎndz, olɖo h hd onli peid a fy śilñz apis fr ɖm, fremz includd, at a seil in ɖ nebrhd.Ɖr wz olso a larj picćr in a vri hansm frem, dn in culrd creonz. It lct lîc a rlijs subjict. I wz vri mć struc wɖ ɖ lês colr, it lct so riyl, bt I unforćṇtli md ɖ rmarc ɖt ɖr wz smʈñ abt ɖ xpreśn v ɖ fes ɖt wz nt qt plizñ. It lct pinćt. Mr. Finzwrʈ sorofli rplaid: “Yes, ɖ fes wz dn aftr deʈ – mî wîf’s sistr.”

I flt teṛbli ōcẉd n baud apoḷjeticli, n in a ẃispr sd I hopt I hd nt hrt hiz fīlñz. W bʈ std lcñ at ɖ picćr fr a fy minits in sîḷns, ẃn Mr. Finzwrʈ tc ǎt a hanc̣ćif n sd: “Ś wz sitñ in ǎr gardn last sumr,” n blù hiz nǒz vayḷntli. H sīmd qt afctd, so I trnd t lc at smʈñ els n std in frunt v a portrit v a joli-lcñ midl-ejd jntlmn, wɖ a red fes n strw hat. I sd t Mr. Finzwrʈ: “Hu z ɖs jovịl-lcñ jntlmn? Lîf dz’nt sīm t trubl him mć.” Mr. Finzwrʈ sd: “No, it dz’nt. H z ded tù – mî bruɖr.”

"He is dead too."
“H z ded tù.”

I wz abṣlutli hoṛfaid at mî ǒn ōcẉdnis. Forćṇtli at ɖs momnt Cári entrd wɖ Msz. Finzwrʈ, hu hd tecn hr upsterz t tec of hr bonit n bruś hr scrt. Tedi sd: “Śort z lêt,” bt at ɖt momnt ɖ jntlmn rfŕd t arîvd, n I wz intṛdyst t him bî Tedi, hu sd: “D y nǒ Mr. Śort?” I rplaid, smîlñ, ɖt I hd nt ɖt pleźr, bt I hopt it wd nt b loñ bfr I ń Mr. Śort. H evidntli dd nt si mî litl joc, olɖo I rpitd it twîs wɖ a litl laf. I sudnli rmembrd it wz Súnde, n Mr. Śort wz phps vri ptiklr. In ɖs I wz mstecn, fr h wz nt at ol ptiklr in sevṛl v hiz rmarcs aftr dinr. In fact I wz so aśemd v wn v hiz obẓveśnz ɖt I tc ɖ oṗtyṇti t se t Msz. Finzwrʈ ɖt I fird ś faund Mr. Śort oceźṇli a litl imbaṛsñ. T mî s’prîz ś sd: “Ǒ! h z priṿlijd y nǒ.” I dd nt nǒ az a matr v fact, n so I baud apoḷjeticli. I fel t si ẃ Mr. Śort śd b priṿlijd.

Anɖr ʈñ ɖt anoid m at dinr wz ɖt ɖ colidog, ẃć jumt p at Cári, wz alaud t rmen undr ɖ dînñrūm tebl. It cept grǎlñ n snapñ at mî būts evri tîm I muvd mî ft. Fīlñ nrṿs rɖr, I spouc t Msz. Finzwrʈ abt ɖ animl, n ś rmarct: “It z onli hiz ple.” Ś jumt p n let in a frîtf̣li ugli-lcñ spańl cōld Bíbz, ẃć hd bn scraćñ at ɖ dor. Ɖs dog olso sīmd t tec a fansi t mî būts, n I dscuvrd aftwdz ɖt it hd lict of evri bit v blacñ fṛm ɖm. I wz poztivli aśemd v biyñ sìn in ɖm. Msz. Finzwrʈ, hu, I mst se, z nt mć v a Jǒb’z cumf̣tr, sd: “Ǒ! w r yst t Bíbz dwñ ɖt t ǎr vizitrz.”

Mr. Finzwrʈ hd p sm fîn port, olɖo I qsćn ẃɖr it z a gd ʈñ t tec on ɖ top v bir. It md m fīl a litl slīpi, ẃl it hd ɖ ifct v indysñ Mr. Śort t bcm “priṿlijd” t rɖr an alarmñ xtnt. It biyñ cold īvn fr Epril, ɖr wz a fîr in ɖ drw̃rūm; w sat rnd in īzićerz, n Tedi n I waxt rɖr eḷqnt ovr ɖ old scūl dez, ẃć hd ɖ ifct v sndñ ol ɖ uɖrz t slīp. I wz dlîtd, az far az Mr. Śort wz cnsrnd, ɖt it dd hv ɖt ifct on him.

W steid tl for, n ɖ wōc hom wz rmarcbl onli fr ɖ fact ɖt sevṛl fūlz gigld at ɖ unpoliśt stet v mî būts. Poliśt ɖm mslf ẃn I got hom. Wnt t ćrć in ɖ īvnñ, n cd scersli cīp awec. I wl nt tec port on ɖ top v bir agn.

Epril 29. – I am gtñ qt acustmd t biyñ snubd bî Lūpin, n I d nt mînd biyñ sat upn bî Cári, bcz I ʈnc ś hz a srtn amǎnt v rît t d so; bt I d ʈnc it hard t b at wns snubd bî wîf, sun, n bʈ mî gests.

Gowñ n Cumñz hd dropt in jrñ ɖ īvnñ, n I sudnli rmembrd an xtrordnri drīm I hd a fy nîts ago, n I ʈt I wd tel ɖm abt it. I dremt I sw sm hyj blocs v îs in a śop wɖ a brît gler bhnd ɖm. I wōct intu ɖ śop n ɖ hīt wz oṿpǎrñ. I faund ɖt ɖ blocs v îs wr on fîr. Ɖ hol ʈñ wz so riyl n yt so sūṗnaćṛl I wouc p in a cold prsṗreśn. Lūpin in a most cntmćs manr, sd: “Ẃt utr rot.”Bfr I cd rplî, Gowñ sd ɖr wz nʈñ so cmplitli uninṭrestñ az uɖr ppl’z drīmz.

I apild t Cumñz, bt h sd h wz baund t agri wɖ ɖ uɖrz n mî drīm wz ispeṣ́li nonsnsicl. I sd: “It sīmd so riyl t m.” Gowñ rplaid: “Yes, t y phps, bt nt t s.” Ẃr’pn ɖe ol rord.

Cári, hu hd hiɖrtu bn qayt, sd: “H tlz m hiz stypid drīmz evri mornñ nirli.” I rplaid: “Vri wel, dir, I promis y I wl nvr tel y or enbdi els anɖr drīm v mîn ɖ longist de I liv.” Lūpin sd: “Hír! hír!” n hlpt himslf t anɖr glas v bir. Ɖ subjict wz forćṇtli ćenjd, n Cumñz réd a most inṭrestñ articl on ɖ s’pirioṛti v ɖ bîsicl t ɖ hors.

ĆAPTR XX

Dinr at Franćñ’z t mīt Mr. Hardfr Hutl.

Me 10. – Rsivd a letr fṛm Mr. Franćñ, v Pecm, ascñ s t dîn wɖ him tnît, at sevn o’cloc, t mīt Mr. Hardfr Hutl, a vri clevr raitr fr ɖ Americn peprz. Franćñ apoḷjîzd fr ɖ śort notis; bt sd h hd at ɖ last momnt bn dis’pôntd v tū v hiz gests n rgardd s az old frendz hu wd nt mînd filñ p ɖ gap. Cári rɖr dḿrd at ɖ invteśn; bt I xplend t hr ɖt Franćñ wz vri wel of n influenśl, n w cd nt aford t ofnd him. “N w r śr t gt a gd dinr n a gd glas v śampen.” “Ẃć nvr agriz wɖ y!” Cári rplaid, śarpli. I rgardd Cári’z obẓveśn az unséd. Mr. Franćñ asct s t wîr a rplî. Az h hd sd nʈñ abt dres in ɖ letr, I wîrd bac: “Wɖ pleźr. Z it fl dres?” n bî līvñ ǎt ǎr nem, jst got ɖ mesij wɖn ɖ sixpns.

Got bac rli t gv tîm t dres, ẃć w rsivd a teḷgram instructñ s t d. I wontd Cári t mīt m at Franćñ’z hǎs; bt ś wd nt d so, so I hd t g hom t feć hr. Ẃt a loñ jrni it z fṛm Hoḷwe t Pecm! Ẃ d ppl liv sć a loñ we of? Hvñ t ćenj ’busz, I alaud plenti v tîm – in fact, tù mć; fr w arîvd at twenti minits t sevn, n Franćñ, so ɖ srvnt sd, hd onli jst gn p t dres. Hvr, h wz dǎn az ɖ cloc struc sevn; h mst hv drest vri qcli.I mst se it wz qt a dstnḡśt parti, n olɖo w dd nt nǒ enbdi prsṇli, ɖe ol sīmd t b qt swelz. Franćñ hd got a pṛfeśnl wêtr, n evidntli sperd no xpns. Ɖr wr flǎrz on ɖ tebl rnd sm fẹrilamps n ɖ ifct, I mst se, wz xqizit. Ɖ wîn wz gd n ɖr wz plenti v śampen, cnsrnñ ẃć Franćñ sd h himslf, nvr wśt t test betr. W wr ten in numbr, n a menû card t ć. Wn ledi sd ś olwz prizrvd ɖ menû n got ɖ gests t rait ɖer nemz on ɖ bac.

W ol v s foloud hr xampl, xpt Mr. Hutl, hu wz v cors ɖ importnt gest.

Ɖ dinrparti cnsistd v Mr. Franćñ, Mr. Hardfr Hutl, Mr. n Msz. Saḿl Hilbútr, Msz. Fīld, Mr. n Msz. Prdic, Mr. Prát, Mr. R. Cnt, n, last bt nt līst, Mr. n Msz. Ćarlz Pūtr. Franćñ sd h wz sori h hd no ledi fr m t tec in t dinr. I rplaid ɖt I prifŕd it, ẃć I aftwdz ʈt wz a vri uncompḷmntri obẓveśn t mc.

I sat nxt t Msz. Fīld at dinr. Ś sīmd a wel-informd ledi, bt wz vri def. It dd nt mć matr, fr Mr. Hardfr Hutl dd ol ɖ tōcñ. H z a marvḷsli inṭlecćl man n sz ʈñz ẃć fṛm uɖr ppl wd sīm qt alarmñ. Hǎ I wś I cd rmembr īvn a qortr v hiz briłnt convseśn. I md a fy litl rmîndñ nots on ɖ menû card.

Wn obẓveśn struc m az biyñ abṣlutli pǎrfl – ɖo nt t mî we v ʈncñ v cors. Msz. Prdic hapnd t se “Y r srtnli unorʈ̇dox, Mr. Hutl.” Mr. Hutl, wɖ a pkłr xpreśn (I cn si it nǎ) sd in a slo rić vôs: “Msz. Prdic, ‘orʈ̇dox’ z a grandiḷqnt wrd implayñ sticñ-in-ɖ-mud. F C’lumbs n Stīvnsn hd bn orʈ̇̇dox, ɖr wd nɖr hv bn ɖ dscuṿri v America nr ɖ stīm-enjin.” Ɖr wz qt a sîḷns. It apird t m ɖt sć tīćñ wz abṣlutli denjṛs, n yt I flt – in fact w mst ol hv flt – ɖr wz no ansr t ɖ arğmnt. A litl lêtr on, Msz. Prdic, hu z Franćñ’z sistr n olso actd az hostes, rouz fṛm ɖ tebl, n Mr. Hutl sd: “Ẃ, lediz, d y dprîv s v yr cumṗni so sn? Ẃ nt wêt ẃl w hv ǎr sgarz?”

"'Orthodox' is a grandiloquent word."
“‘Orʈ̇dox’ z a grandiḷqnt wrd.”

Ɖ ifct wz ilectricl. Ɖ lediz (includñ Cári) wr in no we inclînd t b dprîvd v Mr. Hutl’z faṣnetñ ssayti, n imīɉtli rzymd ɖer sīts, amd mć laftr n a litl ćaf. Mr. Hutl sd: “Wel, ɖt’s a riyl gd sîn; y śl nt b insultd bî biyñ cōld orʈ̇dox eni longr.” Msz. Prdic, hu sīmd t b a brît n rɖr śarp wmn, sd: “Mr. Hutl, w wl mīt y hafwe – ɖt z, tl y gt hafwe ʈru yr sgar. Ɖt, at ol ivnts, wl b ɖ hapi mīdịm.”

I śl nvr fget ɖ ifct ɖ wrdz, “hapi mīdịm,” hd upn him. H wz briłnt n most dẹrñ in hiz intrpṛteśn v ɖ wrdz. H poztivli alarmd m. H sd smʈñ lîc ɖ folowñ: “Hapi mīdịm, indd. D y nǒ ‘hapi mīdịm’ r tū wrdz ẃć mīn ‘mizṛbl mīdiocṛti’? I se, g frst clas or ʈrd; mari a dućis or hr cićnmeid. Ɖ hapi mīdịm mīnz rspctbiḷti, n rspctbiḷti mīnz insipidnis. Dz it nt, Mr. Pūtr?”

I wz so tecn abac bî biyñ prsṇli apild t, ɖt I cd onli bǎ apoḷjeticli, n se I fird I wz nt compitnt t ofr an opińn. Cári wz abt t se smʈñ; bt ś wz inṭruptd, fr ẃć I wz rɖr plizd, fr ś z nt clevr at arğmnt, n wn hz t b xtra clevr t dscus a subjict wɖ a man lîc Mr. Hutl.

H cntinyd, wɖ an amezñ eḷqns ɖt md hiz unwelcm opińnz poztivli cnvinsñ: “Ɖ hapi mīdịm z nʈñ mor or les ɖn a vulgr haf-meźr. A man hu luvz śampen n, fîndñ a pînt tù litl, firz t fes a hol botl n hz rcors t an impirịl pînt, wl nvr bild a Brŭclin Brij or an Îfl Tǎr. No, h z haf-hartid, h z a haf-meźr – rspctbl – in fact, a hapi mīdịm, n wl spend ɖ rest v hiz dez in a sbrbn vila wɖ a stuco-coḷm portico, rzmḅlñ a for-post bedsted.”

W ol laft.

“Ɖt sort v ʈñ,” cntinyd Mr. Hutl, “b’loñz t a soft man, wɖ a soft bird wɖ a soft hed, wɖ a md tî ɖt hcs on.”

Ɖs sīmd rɖr prsnl n twîs I còt mslf lcñ in ɖ glas v ɖ cheffonière; fr I hd on a tî ɖt hct on – n ẃ nt? F ɖz rmarcs wr nt prsnl ɖe wr rɖr cerlis, n so wr sm v hiz subsiqnt obẓveśnz, ẃć mst hv md bʈ Mr. Franćñ n hiz gests rɖr uncumftbl. I d’nt ʈnc Mr. Hutl mnt t b prsnl, fr h add; “W d’nt nǒ ɖt clas hir in ɖs cuntri: bt w d in America, n I’v no ys fr ɖm.”

Franćñ sevṛl tîmz sjstd ɖt ɖ wîn śd b pást rnd ɖ tebl, ẃć Mr. Hutl dd nt hīd; bt cntinyd az f h wr gvñ a lecćr:

“Ẃt w wont in America z yr homz. W liv on ẃīlz. Yr simpl, qayt lîf n hom, Mr. Franćñ, r ćarmñ. No dsple, no pritnśn! Y mc no difṛns in yr dinr, I der se, ẃn y sit dǎn bî yrslf n ẃn y invît s. Y hv yr ǒn prsnl atndnt – no hîrd wêtr t briɖ on ɖ bac v yr hed.”

I sw Franćñ palṗbli wins at ɖs.

Mr. Hutl cntinyd: “Jst a smōl dinr wɖ a fy gd ʈñz, sć az y hv ɖs īvnñ. Y d’nt insult yr gests bî sndñ t ɖ grosr fr śampen at six śilñz a botl.”

I cd nt hlp ʈncñ v “Jacsn Frer” at ʈri-n-six!

“In fact,” sd Mr. Hutl, “a man z litl les ɖn a mrdrr hu dz. Ɖt z ɖ provins v ɖ milcsop, hu wests hiz īvnñ at hom pleyñ doṃnoz wɖ hiz wîf. I’v hŕd v ɖz ppl. W d’nt wont ɖm at ɖs tebl. Ǎr parti z wel s’lectd. W’v no ys fr def old wimin, hu canot folo inṭlecćl convseśn.”

Ol ǎr îz wr trnd t Msz. Fīld, hu forćṇtli, biyñ def, dd nt hír hiz rmarcs; bt cntinyd smîlñ apruvl.

“W hv no repriznttiv at Mr. Franćñ’z tebl,” sd Mr. Hutl, “v ɖ uninlîtnd frivḷs metṛn, hu gz t a secnd-clas dans at Bezwōtr n fansiz ś z in Ssayti. Ssayti dz nt nǒ hr; it hz no ys fr hr.”

Mr. Hutl pōzd fr a momnt n ɖ oṗtyṇti wz afordd fr ɖ lediz t rîz. I asct Mr. Franćñ qaytli t xkz m, az I dd nt wś t mis ɖ last tren, ẃć w vri nirli dd, bî-ɖ-bî, ʈru Cári hvñ msleid ɖ litl cloʈ cricitcap ẃć ś werz ẃn w g ǎt.

It wz vri lêt ẃn Cári n I got hom; bt on enṭrñ ɖ sitñrūm I sd: “Cári, ẃt d y ʈnc v Mr. Hardfr Hutl?” Ś simpli ansrd: “Hǎ lîc Lūpin!” Ɖ sem îdīa ocŕd t m in ɖ tren. Ɖ cmparisn cept m awec haf ɖ nît. Mr. Hutl wz, v cors, an oldr n mor influenśl man; bt h wz lîc Lūpin, n it md m ʈnc hǎ denjṛs Lūpin wd b f h wr oldr n mor influenśl. I fīl prǎd t ʈnc Lūpin dz rzmbl Mr. Hutl in sm wez. Lūpin, lîc Mr. Hutl, hz orijinl n smtmz wundrfl îdīaz; bt it z ɖoz îdīaz ɖt r so denjṛs. Ɖe mc men xtrimli rić or xtrimli pur. Ɖe mc or brec men. I olwz fīl ppl r hapịr hu liv a simpl unṣfisṭcetd lîf. I b’liv I am hapi bcz I am nt ambiśs. Smhǎ I fīl ɖt Lūpin, sins h hz bn wɖ Mr. Prcup, hz bcm cntnt t setl dǎn n folo ɖ ftsteps v hiz faɖr. Ɖs z a cumf̣t.

ĆAPTR XXI

Lūpin z dsćarjd. W r in gret trubl. Lūpin gts ingejd elsẃr at a hansm saḷri.

Me 13. – A teṛbl msfortyn hz hapnd: Lūpin z dsćarjd fṛm Mr. Prcup’s ofis; n I scersli nǒ hǎ I am raitñ mî dayri. I wz awe fṛm ofis last Sat., ɖ frst tîm I hv bn absnt ʈru ilnis fr twenti yirz. I b’liv I wz pôznd bî sm lobstr. Mr. Prcup wz olso absnt, az Fet wd hv it; n ǎr most valyd custmr, Mr. Croḅlón, wnt t ɖ ofis in a rej, n wɖdru hiz custm. Mî bô Lūpin nt onli hd ɖ aśuṛns t rsiv him, bt rec̣mndd him ɖ frm v Gilṭsn, Sunz & Co. Liṃtd. In mî ǒn humbl jujmnt, n ɖo I hv t se it agnst mî ǒn sun, ɖs sīmz an act v treć̣ri.

Ɖs mornñ I rsiv a letr fṛm Prcup, informñ m ɖt Lūpin’z srṿsz r no longr rqîrd, n an inṭvy wɖ m z dzîrd at ilevn o’cloc. I wnt dǎn t ɖ ofis wɖ an ecñ hart, dredñ an inṭvy wɖ Mr. Prcup, wɖ hūm I hv nvr hd a wrd. I sw nʈñ v Lūpin in ɖ mornñ. H hd nt got p ẃn it wz tîm fr m t līv, n Cári sd I śd d no gd bî dstrbñ him. Mî mînd wondrd so at ɖ ofis ɖt I cd nt d mî wrc proprli.Az I xpctd, I wz snt fr bî Mr. Prcup, n ɖ folowñ convseśn insyd az nirli az I cn rmembr it.

Mr. Prcup sd: “Gd mornñ, Mr. Pūtr! Ɖs z a vri sirịs biznis. I am nt rfŕñ so mć t ɖ dsmisl v yr sun, fr I ń w śd hv t part snr or lêtr. I am ɖ hed v ɖs old, influenśl, n mć-rspctd frm; n ẃn I cnsidr ɖ tîm hz cm t reṿluśnîz ɖ biznis, I wl d it mslf.”

I cd si mî gd mastr wz smẃt afctd, n I sd: “I hop, sr, y d nt imajin ɖt I hv in eni we cǎntinnst mî sun’z unwoṛntbl inṭfiṛns?” Mr. Prcup rouz fṛm hiz sīt n tc mî hand, n sd: “Mr. Pūtr, I wd az sn sspct mslf az sspct y.” I wz so ajtetd ɖt in ɖ cnfyźn, t śo mî grattyd I vri nirli cōld him a “grand old man.”

Forćṇtli I ćect mslf in tîm, n sd h wz a “grand old mastr.” I wz so un’cǎntbl fr mî ax́nz ɖt I sat dǎn, līvñ him standñ. V cors, I at wns rouz, bt Mr. Prcup bád m sit dǎn, ẃć I wz vri plizd t d. Mr. Prcup, rzymñ, sd: “Y wl unḍstand, Mr. Pūtr, ɖt ɖ hî-standñ nećr v ǎr frm wl nt admit v ǎr bndñ t enbdi. F Mr. Croḅlón ćuzz t pt hiz wrc intu uɖr handz – I me ad, les xpirịnst handz – it z nt fr s t bnd n beg bac hiz custm.” “Y śl nt d it, sr,” I sd wɖ inḍgneśn. “Xacli,” rplaid Mr. Prcup; “I śl nt d it. Bt I wz ʈncñ ɖs, Mr. Pūtr. Mr. Croḅlón z ǎr most valyd claynt, n I wl īvn cnfes – fr I nǒ ɖs wl nt g bynd ǎrslvz – ɖt w canot aford vri wel t lūz him, ispeṣ́li in ɖz tîmz, ẃć r nt v ɖ brîtist. Nǎ, I fansi y cn b v srvis.”

I rplaid: “Mr. Prcup, I wl wrc de n nît t srv y!”

Mr. Prcup sd: “I nǒ y wl. Nǎ, ẃt I śd lîc y t d z ɖs. Y yrslf mt rait t Mr. Croḅlón – y mst nt, v cors, līd him t s’poz I nǒ enʈñ abt yr dwñ so – n xplen t him ɖt yr sun wz onli tecn on az a clarc – qt an inixpirịnst wn in fact – ǎt v ɖ rspct ɖ frm hd fr y, Mr. Pūtr. Ɖs z, v cors, a fact. I d’nt sjst ɖt y śd spīc in tù stroñ trmz v yr ǒn sun’z conduct; bt I me ad, ɖt hd h bn a sun v mîn, I śd hv cndemd hiz inṭfiṛns wɖ no meźrd trmz. Ɖt I līv t y. I ʈnc ɖ rzult wl b ɖt Mr. Croḅlón wl si ɖ fors v ɖ fūliś step h hz tecn, n ǎr frm wl nɖr sufr in digṇti nr in pocit.”

I cd nt hlp ʈncñ ẃt a nobl jntlmn Mr. Prcup z. Hiz manrz n hiz we v spīcñ sīm t olmst ʈril wn wɖ rspct.

I sd: “Wd y lîc t si ɖ letr bfr I snd it?”

Mr. Prcup sd: “Ǒ no! I hd betr nt. I am s’pozd t nǒ nʈñ abt it, n I hv evri confidns in y. Y mst rait ɖ letr cerf̣li. W r nt vri bizi; y hd betr tec ɖ mornñ tmoro, or ɖ hol de f y lîc. I śl b hir mslf ol de tmoro, in fact ol ɖ wīc, in ces Mr. Croḅlón śd cōl.”

I wnt hom a litl mor ćirfl, bt I left wrd wɖ Sẹra ɖt I cd nt si îɖr Gowñ or Cumñz, nr in fact enbdi, f ɖe cōld in ɖ īvnñ. Lūpin cem intu ɖ parlr fr a momnt wɖ a ny hat on, n asct mî opińn v it. I sd I wz nt in ɖ mūd t juj v hats, n I dd nt ʈnc h wz in a pziśn t bai a ny wn. Lūpin rplaid cerlisli: “I dd’nt bai it; it wz a preznt.”

I hv sć teṛbl sspiśnz v Lūpin nǎ ɖt I scersli lîc t asc him qsćnz, az I dred ɖ ansrz so. H, hvr, sevd m ɖ trubl.

H sd: “I met a frend, an old frend, ɖt I dd nt qt ʈnc a frend at ɖ tîm; bt it’s ol rît. Az h wîzli sd, ‘ol z fer in luv n wor,’ n ɖr wz no rīzn ẃ w śd nt b frendz stl. H’z a joli, gd, ol-rnd sort v felo, n a vri difṛnt stamp fṛm ɖt infletd fūl v a Prcup.”

I sd: “Huś, Lūpin! D nt pre ad insult t inɉri.”

Lūpin sd: “Ẃt d y mīn bî inɉri? I rpit, I hv dn no inɉri. Croḅlón z simpli tîrd v a stagnnt stic-in-ɖ-mud frm, n md ɖ ćenj on hiz ǒn acǎnt. I simpli rec̣mndd ɖ ny frm az a matr v biz – gd old biz!”

I sd qaytli: “I d’nt unḍstand yr slañ, n at mî tîm v lîf hv no dzîr t lrn it; so, Lūpin, mî bô, let s ćenj ɖ subjict. I wl, f it plīz y, trî n b inṭrestd in yr ny hat advnćr.”

Lūpin sd: “Ǒ! ɖr’z nʈñ mć abt it, xpt I hv nt wns sìn him sins hiz marij, n h sd h wz vri plizd t si m, n hopt w śd b frendz. I std a drinc t s’mnt ɖ frendśp, n h std m a ny hat – wn v hiz ǒn.”

I sd rɖr wiṛli: “Bt y hv nt tld m yr old frend’z nem?”

Lūpin sd, wɖ afctd cerlisnis: “Ǒ dd’nt I? Wel, I wl. It wz Muri Poś.”

Me 14. – Lūpin cem dǎn lêt, n siyñ m at hom ol ɖ mornñ, asct ɖ rīzn v it. Cári n I bʈ agrìd it wz betr t se nʈñ t him abt ɖ letr I wz raitñ, so I ivedd ɖ qsćn.

Lūpin wnt ǎt, seyñ h wz gwñ t lunć wɖ Muri Poś in ɖ Siti. I sd I hopt Mr. Poś wd pṛvîd him wɖ a bŕʈ. Lūpin wnt ǎt lafñ, seyñ: “I d’nt mînd wẹrñ Poś’z wn-prîst hats, bt I am nt gwñ t sel ɖm.” Pur bô, I fir h z prf̣cli hoplis.It tc m nirli ɖ hol de t rait t Mr. Croḅlón. Wns or twîs I asct Cári fr sjsćnz; n olɖo it sīmz ungretfl, hr sjsćnz wr nn v ɖm t ɖ pônt, ẃl wn or tū wr abṣlutli idiotic. V cors I dd nt tel hr so. I got ɖ letr of, n tc it dǎn t ɖ ofis fr Mr. Prcup t si, bt h agn rpitd ɖt h cd trust m.

Gowñ cōld in ɖ īvnñ, n I wz oblîjd t tel him abt Lūpin n Mr. Prcup; n, t mî s’prîz, h wz qt inclînd t sîd wɖ Lūpin. Cári jônd in, n sd ś ʈt I wz tecñ mć tù meḷnc̣li a vy v it. Gowñ pṛdyst a pînt samplbotl v Mdira, ẃć hd bn gvn him, ẃć h sd wd gt rid v ɖ bluz. I der se it wd hv dn so f ɖr hd bn mor v it; bt az Gowñ hlpt himslf t ʈri glasz, it dd nt līv mć fr Cári n m t gt rid v ɖ bluz wɖ.

Me 15. – A de v gret añzayti, fr I xpctd evri momnt a letr fṛm Mr. Croḅlón. Tū letrz cem in ɖ īvnñ – wn fr m, wɖ “Croḅlón Hōl” printd in larj gold-n-red letrz on ɖ bac v ɖ enṿlop; ɖ uɖr fr Lūpin, ẃć I flt inclînd t opn n rīd, az it hd “Gilṭsn, Sunz, & Co. Liṃtd,” ẃć wz ɖ rec̣mndd frm. I trembld az I opnd Mr. Croḅlón’z letr. I rout him sixtīn pejz, closli ritn; h rout m les ɖn sixtīn lînz.

Hiz letr wz: “Sr, – I toṭli dis’gri wɖ y. Yr sun, in ɖ cors v fîv minits’ convseśn, dspleid mor intelijns ɖn yr frm hz dn jrñ ɖ last fîv yirz. – Yrz feʈf̣li, Gilḅt E. Giḷm O. Croḅlón.”Ẃt am I t d? Hir z a letr ɖt I der nt śo t Mr. Prcup, n wd nt śo t Lūpin fr enʈñ. Ɖ crîsis hd yt t cm; fr Lūpin arîvd, n, oṗnñ hiz letr, śoud a ćéc fr £25 az a cmiśn fr ɖ rec̣mndeśn v Mr. Croḅlón, huz custm t Mr. Prcup z evidntli lost fr evr. Cumñz n Gowñ bʈ cōld, n bʈ tc Lūpin’z part. Cumñz wnt so far az t se ɖt Lūpin wd mc a nem yt. I s’poz I wz meḷnc̣li, fr I cd onli asc: “Yes, bt ẃt sort v a nem?”

Me 16. – I tld Mr. Prcup ɖ contents v ɖ letr in a moḍfaid form, bt Mr. Prcup sd: “Pre d’nt dscus ɖ matr; it z at an end. Yr sun wl brñ hiz puniśmnt upn himslf.” I wnt hom in ɖ īvnñ, ʈncñ v ɖ hoplis fyćr v Lūpin. I faund him in most xtraṿgnt spirits n in īvnñdres. H ʈrù a letr on ɖ tebl fr m t rīd.

T mî amezmnt, I réd ɖt Gilṭsn n Sunz hd abṣlutli ingejd Lūpin at a saḷri v £200 a yir, wɖ uɖr advantjz. I réd ɖ letr ʈru ʈri tîmz n ʈt it mst hv bn fr m. Bt ɖr it wz – Lūpin Pūtr – plen inuf. I wz sîḷnt. Lūpin sd: “Ẃt prîs Prcup nǎ? Y tec mî tip, Guv. – ‘of’ wɖ Prcup n frīz on t Gilṭsn, ɖ frm v ɖ fyćr! Prcup’s frm? Ɖ stagnnt dumiz hv bn standñ stl fr yirz, n nǎ r muvñ bac. I wont t g on. In fact I mst g of, az I am dînñ wɖ ɖ Muri Pośz tnît.”In ɖ xybṛns v hiz spirits h hit hiz hat wɖ hiz stic, gev a lǎd wor “Ẃūūūp,” jumt ovr a ćer, n tc ɖ liḅti v rumṗlñ mî her ol ovr mî fōrhed, n bǎnst ǎt v ɖ rūm, gvñ m no ćans v rmîndñ him v hiz ej n ɖ rspct ẃć wz dy t hiz peṛnt. Gowñ n Cumñz cem in ɖ īvnñ, n poztivli ćird m p wɖ cngrać̣leśnz rspctñ Lūpin.

Gowñ sd: “I olwz sd h wd gt on, n, tec mî wrd, h hz mor in hiz hed ɖn w ʈri pt tgɖr.”

Cári sd: “H z a secnd Hardfr Hutl.”

ĆAPTR XXII

Mastr Prsi Edgr Smiʈ Jemz. Msz. Jemz (v Sutn) vizits s agn n intṛdysz “Spirićl Seãsz.”

Me 26, Súnde. – W wnt t Sutn aftr dinr t hv mìți wɖ Mr. n Msz. Jemz. I hd no aṗtît, hvñ dînd wel at tū, n ɖ intîr īvnñ wz spôld bî litl Prsi – ɖer onli sun – hu sīmz t m t b an utrli spôlt ćîld.

Tū or ʈri tîmz h cem p t m n dlibṛtli cict mî śinz. H hrt m wns so mć ɖt ɖ tirz cem intu mî îz. I jntli remnstretd wɖ him, n Msz. Jemz sd: “Plīz d’nt scold him; I d nt b’liv in biyñ tù svir wɖ yuñ ćildṛn. Y spôl ɖer caṛctr.”Litl Prsi set p a def̣nñ yel hir, n ẃn Cári traid t paṣfî him, h slapt hr fes.

I wz so anoid, I sd: “Ɖt z nt mî îdīa v brññ p ćildṛn, Msz. Jemz.”

Msz. Jemz sd. “Ppl hv difṛnt îdīaz v brññ p ćildṛn – īvn yr sun Lūpin z nt ɖ standd v pfx́n.”

Master Percy Edgar Smith James
Mastr Prsi Edgr Smiʈ Jemz

A Mr. Metsīni (an Itałn, I fansi) hir tc Prsi in hiz lap. Ɖ ćîld rigld n cict n brouc awe fṛm Mr. Metsīni, seyñ: “I d’nt lîc y – y’v got a drti fes.”

A vri nîs jntlmn, Mr. Brcs Spūnr, tc ɖ ćîld bî ɖ rist n sd: “Cm hir, dir, n lisn t ɖs.”

H dtaćt hiz cṛnomitr fṛm ɖ ćen n md hiz woć strîc six.

T ǎr horr, ɖ ćîld snaćt it fṛm hiz hand n bǎnst it dǎn upn ɖ grǎnd lîc wn wd a bōl.

Mr. Brcs Spūnr wz most emịbl, n sd h cd īẓli gt a ny glas pt in, n dd nt s’poz ɖ wrcs wr damijd.

T śo y hǎ ppl’z opińnz difr, Cári sd ɖ ćîld wz bad-tmprd, bt it md p fr ɖt dīfect bî its lcs, fr it wz – in hr mînd – an unqsćṇbli bytifl ćîld.

I me b roñ, bt I d nt ʈnc I hv sìn a mć uglịr ćîld mslf. Ɖt z opińn.

Me 30. – I d’nt nǒ ẃ it z, bt I nvr antiṣpet wɖ eni pleźr ɖ vizits t ǎr hǎs v Msz. Jemz, v Sutn. Ś z cmñ agn t ste fr a fy dez. I sd t Cári ɖs mornñ, az I wz līvñ: “I wś, dir Cári, I cd lîc Msz. Jemz betr ɖn I d.”

Cári sd: “So d I, dir; bt az fr yirz I hv hd t pt p wɖ Mr. Gowñ, hu z vulgr, n Mr. Cumñz, hu z cînd bt most uninṭrestñ, I am śr, dir, y w’nt mînd ɖ oceźnl vizits v Msz. Jemz, hu hz mor inṭlect in hr litl fngr ɖn bʈ yr frendz hv in ɖer intîr bodiz.”I wz so intîrli tecn bac bî ɖs onslōt on mî tū dir old frendz, I cd se nʈñ, n az I hŕd ɖ ’bus cmñ, I left wɖ a hurid cis – a litl tù hurid, phps, fr mî upr lip cem in contact wɖ Cári’z tīʈ, ẃć slîtli cut it. It wz qt penfl fr an aur aftwdz. Ẃn I cem hom in ɖ īvnñ I faund Cári berid in a bc on Spirić̣lizm, cōld Ɖr z no Brʈ, bî Floṛns Snglyét. I nīd scersli se ɖ bc wz snt hr t rīd bî Msz. Jemz, v Sutn. Az ś hd nt a wrd t se ǎtsd hr bc, I spent ɖ rest v ɖ īvnñ olṭrñ ɖ stercarpits, ẃć r bginñ t śo sînz v wer at ɖ éjz.

Msz. Jemz arîvd n, az yźl, in ɖ īvnñ tc ɖ intîr manijmnt v evrʈñ. Fîndñ ɖt ś n Cári wr mcñ sm preṗreśnz fr tebltrnñ, I ʈt it tîm riyli t pt mî ft dǎn. I hv olwz hd ɖ gretist cntmt fr sć nonsns, n pt an end t it yirz ago ẃn Cári, at ǎr old hǎs, yst t hv Seãsz evri nît wɖ pur Msz. Fustrz (hu z nǎ ded). F I cd si eni ys in it, I wd nt cer. Az I stopt it in ɖ dez gn bî, I dtrmind t d so nǎ.

I sd: “I am vri sori Msz. Jemz, bt I toṭli dis’pruv v it, apart fṛm ɖ fact ɖt I rsiv mî old frendz on ɖs īvnñ.”

Msz. Jemz sd: “D y mīn t se y hv’nt réd Ɖr z no Brʈ?” I sd: “No, n I hv no intnśn v dwñ so.” Msz. Jemz sīmd s’prîzd n sd: “Ol ɖ wrld z gwñ mad ovr ɖ bc.” I rspondd rɖr clevrli: “Let it. Ɖr wl b wn sen man in it, at ol ivnts.”

Msz. Jemz sd ś ʈt it wz vri uncînd, n f ppl wr ol az preɉdist az I wz, ɖr wd nvr hv bn ɖ ilectric teḷgraf or ɖ teḷfon.

I sd ɖt wz qt a difṛnt ʈñ.

Msz. Jemz sd śarpli: “In ẃt we, pre – in ẃt we?”

I sd: “In mni wez.”

Msz. Jemz sd: “Wel, mnśn wn we.”

I rplaid qaytli: “Pardn m, Msz. Jemz; I dclîn t dscus ɖ matr. I am nt inṭrestd in it.”

Sẹra at ɖs momnt opnd ɖ dor n śoud in Cumñz, fr ẃć I wz ʈancfl, fr I flt it wd pt a stop t ɖs fūliś tebltrnñ. Bt I wz intîrli mstecn; fr, on ɖ subjict biyñ opnd agn, Cumñz sd h wz most inṭrestd in Spirić̣lizm, olɖo h wz baund t cnfes h dd nt b’liv mć in it; stl, h wz wilñ t b cnvinst.

I frmli dclînd t tec eni part in it, wɖ ɖ rzult ɖt mî prezns wz ignord. I left ɖ ʈri sitñ in ɖ parlr at a smōl rnd tebl ẃć ɖe hd tecn ǎt v ɖ drw̃rūm. I wōct intu ɖ hōl wɖ ɖ ultiṃt intnśn v tecñ a litl strol. Az I opnd ɖ dor, hu śd cm in bt Gowñ!

On hírñ ẃt wz gwñ on, h pṛpozd ɖt w śd jôn ɖ srcl n h wd g intu a trans. H add ɖt h ń a fy ʈñz abt old Cumñz, n wd invnt a fy abt Msz. Jemz. Nwñ hǎ denjṛs Gowñ z, I dclînd t let him tec part in eni sć fūliś pformns. Sẹra asct m f ś cd g ǎt fr haf an aur, n I gev hr pmiśn, ʈncñ it wd b mor cumftbl t sit wɖ Gowñ in ɖ cićn ɖn in ɖ cold drw̃rūm. W tōct a gd dīl abt Lūpin n Mr. n Msz. Muri Poś, wɖ hūm h z az yźl spendñ ɖ īvnñ. Gowñ sd: “I se, it wd’nt b a bad ʈñ fr Lūpin f old Poś cict ɖ bucit.”

Mî hart gev a līp v horr, n I rbyct Gowñ vri strnli fr jocñ on sć a subjict. I le awec haf ɖ nît ʈncñ v it – ɖ uɖr haf wz spent in nîtmerz on ɖ sem subjict.

Me 31. – I rout a strn letr t ɖ lōndris. I wz rɖr plizd wɖ ɖ letr, fr I ʈt it vri s’tiricl. I sd: “Y hv rtrnd ɖ hanc̣ćīfs wɖt ɖ culr. Phps y wl rtrn îɖr ɖ culr or ɖ valy v ɖ hanc̣ćīfs.” I śl b rɖr krịs t nǒ ẃt ś wl hv t se.

Mor tebltrnñ in ɖ īvnñ. Cári sd last nît wz in a meźr s’xesfl, n ɖe òt t sit agn. Cumñz cem in, n sīmd inṭrestd. I hd ɖ gas lîtd in ɖ drw̃rūm, got ɖ steps, n rperd ɖ cornis, ẃć hz bn a bit v an îsor t m. In a fit v unʈncñnis – f I me yz sć an xpreśn, – I gev ɖ flor ovr ɖ parlr, ẃr ɖ seãs wz tecñ ples, tū lǎd raps wɖ ɖ hamr. I flt sori aftwdz, fr it wz ɖ sort v r’dikḷs, fūlhardi ʈñ ɖt Gowñ or Lūpin wd hv dn.Hvr, ɖe nvr īvn rfŕd t it, bt Cári dclerd ɖt a mesij cem ʈru ɖ tebl t hr v a wundrfl dscripśn, cnsrnñ smwn hūm ś n I ń yirz ago, n hu wz qt uņoun t ɖ uɖrz.

Ẃn w wnt t bed, Cári asct m az a fevr t sit tmoro nît, t oblîj hr. Ś sd it sīmd rɖr uncînd n unsoṣ́bl on mî part. I promist I wd sit wns.

Jūn 1. – I sat rluctntli at ɖ tebl in ɖ īvnñ, n I am baund t admit sm krịs ʈñz hapnd. I cntnd ɖe wr cǒinsidnsz, bt ɖe wr krịs. Fr instns, ɖ tebl cept tiltñ twdz m, ẃć Cári cnstrùd az a dzîr ɖt I śd asc ɖ spirit a qsćn. I obeid ɖ rūlz, n I asct ɖ spirit (hu sd hr nem wz Līna) f ś cd tel m ɖ nem v an old ānt v hūm I wz ʈncñ, n hūm w yst t cōl Ānt Magi. Ɖ tebl spelt ǎt C A T. W cd mc nʈñ ǎt v it, tl I sudnli rmembrd ɖt hr secnd nem wz Caʈrin, ẃć it wz evidntli trayñ t spel. I d’nt ʈnc īvn Cári ń ɖs. Bt f ś dd, ś wd nvr ćīt. I mst admit it wz krịs. Sevṛl uɖr ʈñz hapnd, n I cnsntd t sit at anɖr seãs on Munde.

Jūn 3. – Ɖ lōndris cōld, n sd ś wz vri sori abt ɖ hanc̣ćīfs, n rtrnd nînpns. I sd, az ɖ culr wz cmplitli wośt ǎt n ɖ hanc̣ćīfs qt spôld, nînpns wz nt inuf. Cári rplaid ɖt ɖ tū hanc̣ćīfs orijiṇli onli cost sixpns, fr ś rmembrd bayñ ɖm at a seil at ɖ Hoḷwe Bon Marché. In ɖt ces, I insistd ɖt ʈrŭpns bayñ śd b rtrnd t ɖ lōndris. Lūpin hz gn t ste wɖ ɖ Pośz fr a fy dez. I mst se I fīl vri uncumftbl abt it. Cári sd I wz r’dikḷs t wuri abt it. Mr. Poś wz vri fond v Lūpin, hu, aftr ol, wz onli a mir bô.

In ɖ īvnñ w hd anɖr seãs, ẃć, in sm rspcts, wz vri rmarcbl, olɖo ɖ frst part v it wz a litl dǎtfl. Gowñ cōld, az wel az Cumñz, n begd t b alaud t jôn ɖ srcl. I wontd t objct, bt Msz. Jemz, hu apirz a gd Mīdịm (ɖt z, f ɖr z enʈñ in it at ol), ʈt ɖr mt b a litl mor spirit pǎr f Gowñ jônd; so ɖ fîv v s sat dǎn.Ɖ momnt I trnd ǎt ɖ gas, n olmst bfr I cd gt mî handz on ɖ tebl, it roct vayḷntli n tiltd, n bgan muvñ qcli acrs ɖ rūm. Gowñ śǎtd ǎt: “We ǒ! stedi, lad, stedi!” I tld Gowñ f h cd nt bhev himslf I śd lît ɖ gas, n pt an end t ɖ seãs.

T tel ɖ truʈ, I ʈt Gowñ wz pleyñ trics, n I hintd az mć; bt Msz. Jemz sd ś hd ofn sìn ɖ tebl g rît of ɖ grǎnd. Ɖ spirit Līna cem agn, n sd, “WORN” ʈri or for tîmz, n dclînd t xplen. Msz. Jemz sd “Līna” wz stubn smtmz. Ś ofn bhevd lîc ɖt, n ɖ bst ʈñ t d wz t snd hr awe.

Ś ɖen hit ɖ tebl śarpli, n sd: “G awe, Līna; y r dis’griybl. G awe!” I śd ʈnc w sat nirli ʈri-qortrz v an aur wɖ nʈñ haṗnñ. Mî handz flt qt cold, n I sjstd w śd stop ɖ seãs. Cári n Msz. Jemz, az wel az Cumñz, wd nt agri t it. In abt ten minits’ tîm ɖr wz sm tiltñ twdz m. I gev ɖ alf̣bét, n it spelt ǎt S P Ū F. Az I hv hŕd bʈ Gowñ n Lūpin yz ɖ wrd, n az I cd hír Gowñ sîḷntli lafñ, I d’recli akzd him v pśñ ɖ tebl. H dnaid it; bt, I rgret t se, I dd nt b’liv him.

Gowñ sd: “Phps it mīnz ‘Spūc,’ a gost.”

I sd: “Y nǒ it dz’nt mīn enʈñ v ɖ sort.”

Gowñ sd: “Ǒ! vri wel – I’m sori I ‘spūc,’” n h rouz fṛm ɖ tebl.

Nwn tc eni notis v ɖ stypid joc, n Msz. Jemz sjstd h śd sit ǎt fr a ẃl. Gowñ cnsntd n sat in ɖ armćer.

Ɖ tebl bgan t muv agn, n w mt hv hd a wundrfl seãs bt fr Gowñ’z stypid inṭrupśnz. In ansr t ɖ alf̣bét fṛm Cári ɖ tebl spelt “NIPŪL,” ɖen ɖ “WORN” ʈri tîmz. W cd nt ʈnc ẃt it mnt tl Cumñz pôntd ǎt ɖt “NIPŪL” wz Lūpin spelt bcwdz. Ɖs wz qt xîtñ. Cári wz ptiklrli xîtd, n sd ś hopt nʈñ hoṛbl wz gwñ t hapn.

Msz. Jemz asct f “Līna” wz ɖ spirit. Ɖ tebl rplaid frmli, “No,” n ɖ spirit wd nt gv hiz or hr nem. W ɖen hd ɖ mesij, “NIPŪL wl b vri rić.”

Cári sd ś flt qt rlivd, bt ɖ wrd “WORN” wz agn spelt ǎt. Ɖ tebl ɖen bgan t oṣlet vayḷntli, n in rplî t Msz. Jemz, hu spouc vri softli t ɖ tebl, ɖ spirit bgan t spel its nem. It frst spelt “DRINC.”

Gowñ hir sd: “Ā! ɖt’s mor in mî lîn.”

I asct him t b qayt az ɖ nem mt nt b cmplitd.

Ɖ tebl ɖen spelt “WŌTR.”

Gowñ hir inṭruptd agn, n sd: “Ā! ɖt’s nt in mî lîn. Ǎtsd f y lîc, bt nt insd.”

Cári apild t him t b qayt.

Ɖ tebl ɖen spelt “CAPTIN,” n Msz. Jemz startld s bî crayñ ǎt, “Captin Drincwōtr, a vri old frend v mî faɖr’z, hu hz bn ded sm yirz.”

Ɖs wz mor inṭrestñ, n I cd nt hlp ʈncñ ɖt aftr ol ɖr mst b smʈñ in Spirić̣lizm.

Msz. Jemz asct ɖ spirit t intrprit ɖ mīnñ v ɖ wrd “Worn” az aplaid t “NIPŪL.” Ɖ alf̣bét wz gvn agn, n w got ɖ wrd “BOŚ.”

Gowñ hir mutrd: “So it z.”

Msz. Jemz sd ś dd nt ʈnc ɖ spirit mnt ɖt, az Captin Drincwōtr wz a prfict jntlmn, n wd nvr hv yzd ɖ wrd in ansr t a ledi’z qsćn. Acordñli ɖ alf̣bét wz gvn agn.

Ɖs tîm ɖ tebl spelt dstñtli “POŚ.” W ol ʈt v Msz. Muri Poś n Lūpin. Cári wz gtñ a litl dstrest, n az it wz gtñ lêt w brouc p ɖ srcl.

W arenjd t hv wn mor tmoro, az it wl b Msz. Jemz’ last nît in tǎn. W olso dtrmind nt t hv Gowñ preznt.

Cumñz, bfr līvñ, sd it wz srtnli inṭrestñ, bt h wśt ɖ spirits wd se smʈñ abt him.

Jūn 4. – Qt lcñ fwd t ɖ seãs ɖs īvnñ. Wz ʈncñ v it ol ɖ de at ɖ ofis.

Jst az w sat dǎn at ɖ tebl w wr anoid bî Gowñ enṭrñ wɖt nocñ.H sd: “I am nt gwñ t stop, bt I hv bròt wɖ m a sìld enṿlop, ẃć I nǒ I cn trust wɖ Msz. Pūtr. In ɖt sìld enṿlop z a strip v pepr on ẃć I hv asct a simpl qsćn. F ɖ spirits cn ansr ɖt qsćn, I wl b’liv in Spirić̣lizm.”

I vnćrd ɖ xpreśn ɖt it mt b imposbl.

Msz. Jemz sd: “Ǒ no! it z v comn ocuṛns fr ɖ spirits t ansr qsćnz undr sć cndiśnz – n īvn fr ɖm t rait on loct slets. It z qt wrʈ trayñ. F ‘Līna’ z in a gd tmpr, ś z srtn t d it.”

Gowñ sd: “Ol rît; ɖen I śl b a frm b’livr. I śl phps drop in abt haf-past nîn or ten, n hír ɖ rzult.”

H ɖen left n w sat a loñ tîm. Cumñz wontd t nǒ smʈñ abt sm unḍtecñ in ẃć h wz cnsrnd, bt h cd gt no ansr v eni dscripśn ẃtvr – at ẃć h sd h wz vri dis’pôntd n wz afreid ɖr wz nt mć in tebltrnñ aftr ol. I ʈt ɖs rɖr slfiś v him. Ɖ seãs wz vri similr t ɖ wn last nît, olmst ɖ sem in fact. So w trnd t ɖ letr. “Līna” tc a loñ tîm anṣrñ ɖ qsćn, bt ivnć̣li spelt ǎt “ROZZ, LILIZ, N CǍZ.” Ɖr wz gret rocñ v ɖ tebl at ɖs tîm, n Msz. Jemz sd: “F ɖt z Captin Drincwōtr, let s asc him ɖ ansr az wel?”

It wz ɖ spirit v ɖ Captin, n, most snğlr, h gev ɖ sem îdnticl ansr: “ROZZ, LILIZ, N CǍZ.”

I canot dscrîb ɖ ajteśn wɖ ẃć Cári brouc ɖ sìl, or ɖ dis’pôntmnt w flt on rīdñ ɖ qsćn, t ẃć ɖ ansr wz so in’proprịt. Ɖ qsćn wz, “Ẃt’s old Pūtr’z ej?”

Ɖs qt dsîdd m.

Az I hd pt mî ft dǎn on Spirić̣lizm yirz ago, so I wd agn.

I am priti īzi-gwñ az a rūl, bt I cn b xtrimli frm ẃn drivn t it.

I sd slǒli, az I trnd p ɖ gas: “Ɖs z ɖ last v ɖs nonsns ɖt śl evr tec ples undr mî rūf. I rgret I pmitd mslf t b a parti t sć tomfūḷri. F ɖr z enʈñ in it – ẃć I dǎt – it z nʈñ v eni gd, n I w’nt hv it agn. Ɖt z inuf.”

Msz. Jemz sd: “I ʈnc, Mr. Pūtr, y r rɖr oṿstepñ – ”

I sd: “Huś, madm. I am mastr v ɖs hǎs – plīz unḍstand ɖt.”

Msz. Jemz md an obẓveśn ẃć I snsirli hop I wz mstecn in. I wz in sć a rej I cd nt qt cać ẃt ś sd. Bt f I ʈt ś sd ẃt it sǎndd lîc, ś śd nvr entr ɖ hǎs agn.

ĆAPTR XXIII

Lūpin līvz s. W dîn at hiz ny apartmnts, n hír sm xtrordnri inf̣meśn rspctñ ɖ wlʈ v Mr. Muri Poś. Mīt Mis Liłn Poś. Am snt fr bî Mr. Hardfr Hutl. Importnt.

Jlî 1. – I fînd, on lcñ ovr mî dayri, nʈñ v eni consiqns hz tecn ples jrñ ɖ last munʈ. Tde w lūz Lūpin, hu hz tecn frniśt apartmnts at Bezwōtr, nir hiz frendz, Mr. n Msz. Muri Poś, at tū giniz a wīc. I ʈnc ɖs z most xtraṿgnt v him, az it z haf hiz saḷri. Lūpin sz wn nvr luzz bî a gd adres, n, t yz hiz ǒn xpreśn, Bricfīld Teris z a bit “of.” Ẃɖr h mīnz it z “far of” I d nt nǒ. I hv loñ sins gvn p trayñ t unḍstand hiz krịs xpreśnz. I sd ɖ nebrhd hd olwz bn gd inuf fr hiz peṛnts. Hiz rplî wz: “It z no qsćn v biyñ gd or bad. Ɖr z no muni in it, n I am nt gwñ t rot awe mî lîf in ɖ subrbz.”

W r sori t lūz him, bt phps h wl gt on betr bî himslf, n ɖr me b sm truʈ in hiz rmarc ɖt an old n a yuñ hors c’nt pl tgɖr in ɖ sem cart.Gowñ cōld, n sd ɖt ɖ hǎs sīmd qt pīsfl, n lîc old tîmz. H lîct Mastr Lūpin vri wel, bt h oceźṇli sufrd fṛm ẃt h cd nt hlp – yʈ.

Jlî 2. – Cumñz cōld, lct vri pel, n sd h hd bn vri il agn, n v cors nt a sngl frend hd bn nir him. Cári sd ś hd nvr hŕd v it, ẃr’pn h ʈrù dǎn a copi v ɖ Bîsicl Nyz on ɖ tebl, wɖ ɖ folowñ paṛgraf: “W rgret t hír ɖt ɖt feṿrit old rǒdstr, Mr. Cumñz (‘Loñ’ Cumñz), hz met wɖ ẃt mt hv bn a sirịs axidnt in Rî Len. A misćiṿs bô ʈrù a stic btwn ɖ spocs v wn v ɖ bac ẃīlz, n ɖ mśīn oṿtrnd, brññ ǎr bruɖr trîṣclist heṿli t ɖ grǎnd. Forćṇtli h wz mor frîtnd ɖn hrt, bt w míst hiz meri fes at ɖ dinr at Ćñf̣d, ẃr ɖe trnd p in gd numbrz. ‘Loñ’ Cumñz’ hlʈ wz pṛpozd bî ǎr popylr Vîs, Mr. Westropp, ɖ prins v bîṣclists, hu in hiz hapiist vein sd it wz a ces v ‘Cumñ(z) ʈru ɖ , bt forćṇtli ɖr wz mor ẃīl ɖn wo,’ a joc ẃć crietd rorz v laftr.”

W ol sd w wr vri sori, n prest Cumñz t ste t supr. Cumñz sd it wz lîc old tîmz biyñ wɖt Lūpin, n h wz mć betr awe.

Jlî 3, Súnde. – In ɖ afṭnun, az I wz lcñ ǎt v ɖ parlrwindo, ẃć wz opn, a grand trap, drivn bî a ledi, wɖ a jntlmn sītd bî ɖ sîd v hr, stopt at ǎr dor. Nt wśñ t b sìn, I wɖdru mî hed vri qcli, nocñ ɖ bac v it vayḷntli agnst ɖ śarp éj v ɖ windosaś. I wz nirli stund. Ɖr wz a lǎd dubl-noc at ɖ fruntdor; Cári ruśt ǎt v ɖ parlr, upsterz t hr rūm, n I foloud, az Cári ʈt it wz Mr. Prcup. I ʈt it wz Mr. Franćñ. – I ẃisprd t Sẹra ovr ɖ banistrz: “Śo ɖm intu ɖ drw̃rūm.” Sẹra sd, az ɖ śutrz wr nt opnd, ɖ rūm wd smel musti. Ɖr wz anɖr lǎd rat-tat. I ẃisprd: “Ɖen śo ɖm intu ɖ parlr, n se Mr. Pūtr wl b dǎn d’recli.” I ćenjd mî cot, bt cd nt si t d mî her, az Cári wz okpayñ ɖ glas.

Sẹra cem p, n sd it wz Msz. Muri Poś n Mr. Lūpin.Ɖs wz qt a rlif. I wnt dǎn wɖ Cári, n Lūpin met m wɖ ɖ rmarc: “I se, ẃt dd y run awe fṛm ɖ windo fr? Dd w frîtn y?”

I fūliśli sd: “Ẃt windo?”

Lūpin sd: “Ǒ, y nǒ. Śut it. Y lct az f y wr pleyñ at Punć n Jūdi.”

On Cári ascñ f ś cd ofr ɖm enʈñ, Lūpin sd: “Ǒ, I ʈnc Deizi wl tec on a cup v ti. I cn d wɖ a B. n S.”

I sd: “I am afreid w hv no soda.”

Lūpin sd: “D’nt boɖr abt ɖt. Y jst trip ǎt n hold ɖ hors; I d’nt ʈnc Sẹra unḍstandz it.”

Ɖe steid a vri śort tîm, n az ɖe wr līvñ, Lūpin sd: “I wont y bʈ t cm n dîn wɖ m nxt Wenzde, n si mî ny ples. Mr. n Msz. Muri Poś, Mis Poś (Muri’z sistr) r cmñ. Et o’cloc śarp. Nwn els.”

I sd w dd nt pritnd t b faśṇbl ppl, n wd lîc ɖ dinr rlịr, az it md it so lêt bfr w got hom.

Lūpin sd: “Rats! Y mst gt yst t it. F it cmz t ɖt, Deizi n I cn drîv y hom.”

W promist t g; bt I mst se in mî simpl mînd ɖ fmiłr we in ẃć Msz. Poś n Lūpin adrest ć uɖr z reprihnsbl. Enbdi wd ʈnc ɖe hd bn ćildṛn tgɖr. I srtnli śd objct t a six munʈs’ aqentns cōlñ wîf “Cári,” n drîvñ ǎt wɖ hr.

Jlî 4. – Lūpin’z rūmz lct vri nîs; bt ɖ dinr wz, I ʈt, a litl tù grand, ispeṣ́li az h cmnst wɖ śampen stret of. I olso ʈnc Lūpin mt hv tld s ɖt h n Mr. n Msz. Muri Poś n Mis Poś wr gwñ t pt on fl īvnñdres. Nwñ ɖt ɖ dinr wz onli fr s six, w nvr drīmd it wd b a fl dres afer. I hd no aṗtît. It wz qt twenti minits past et bfr w sat dǎn t dinr. At six I cd hv ītn a harti mīl. I hd a bit v bred-n-butr at ɖt aur, fīlñ famiśt, n I xpct ɖt partli spôld mî aṗtît.

W wr intṛdyst t Mis Poś, hūm Lūpin cōld “Líli Grl,” az f h hd noun hr ol hiz lîf. Ś wz vri tōl, rɖr plen, n I ʈt ś wz a litl pentd rnd ɖ îz. I hop I am roñ; bt ś hd sć fer her, n yt hr îbrǎz wr blac. Ś lct abt ʈrti. I dd nt lîc ɖ we ś cept giġlñ n gvñ Lūpin smacs n pinćñ him. Ɖen hr laf wz a sort v a scrīm ɖt wnt rît ʈru mî irz, ol ɖ mor iṛtetñ bcz ɖr wz nʈñ t laf at. In fact, Cári n I wr nt at ol prīṗzest wɖ hr. Ɖe ol smoct siġréts aftr dinr, includñ Mis Poś, hu startld Cári bî seyñ: “D’nt y smoc, dir?” I ansrd fr Cári, n sd: “Msz. Ćarlz Pūtr hz nt arîvd at it yt,” ẃr’pn Mis Poś gev wn v hr pirsñ lafs agn.

"Lillie Girl"
“Líli Grl”

Msz. Poś sañ a duzn soñz at līst, n I cn onli rpit ẃt I hv sd bfr – ś dz nt sñ in tyn; bt Lūpin sat bî ɖ sîd v ɖ piano, gezñ intu hr îz ɖ hol tîm. F I hd bn Mr. Poś, I ʈnc I śd hv hd smʈñ t se abt it. Mr. Poś md himslf vri agriybl t s, n ivnć̣li snt s hom in hiz carij, ẃć I ʈt most cînd. H z evidntli vri rić, fr Msz. Poś hd on sm bytifl juwlri. Ś tld Cári hr necḷs, ẃć hr huzbnd gev hr az a brʈde preznt, alon cost £300.

Mr. Poś sd h hd a gret b’lif in Lūpin, n ʈt h wd mc rapid we in ɖ wrld.

I cd nt hlp ʈncñ v ɖ £600 Mr. Poś lost ovr ɖ Paṛćica Clōrets ʈru Lūpin’z advîs.

Jrñ ɖ īvnñ I hd an oṗtyṇti t spīc t Lūpin, n xprest a hop ɖt Mr. Poś wz nt livñ bynd hiz mīnz.

Lūpin snird, n sd Mr. Poś wz wrʈ ʈǎzndz. “Poś’z wn-prîs hat” wz a hǎsholdwrd in Brmñm, Manćestr, Liṿpul, n ol ɖ big tǎnz ʈrt Ñgḷnd. Lūpin frɖr informd m ɖt Mr. Poś wz oṗnñ branć-istabliśmnts at Ny Yorc, Sidni, n Melbōrn, n wz ngośietñ fr Cimḅli n Jhaṇzbrg.

I sd I wz plizd t hír it.

Lūpin sd: “Ẃ, h hz setld ovr £10,000 on Deizi, n ɖ sem amǎnt on ‘Líli Grl.’ F at eni tîm I wontd a litl capitl, h wd pt p a cupl v ‘ɖǎ’ at a de’z notis, n cd bai p Prcup’s frm ovr hiz hed at eni momnt wɖ redi caś.”

On ɖ we hom in ɖ carij, fr ɖ frst tîm in mî lîf, I wz inclînd t indulj in ɖ radicl ʈt ɖt muni wz nt proprli dvîdd.

On arîvñ hom at a qortr-past ilevn, w faund a hansmcab, ẃć hd bn wêtñ fr m fr tū aurz wɖ a letr. Sẹra sd ś dd nt nǒ ẃt t d, az w hd nt left ɖ adres ẃr w hd gn. I trembld az I opnd ɖ letr, firñ it wz sm bad nyz abt Mr. Prcup. Ɖ not wz: “Dir Mr. Pūtr, – Cm dǎn t ɖ Victoria Hotel wɖt dle. Importnt. Yrz trūli, Hardfr Hutl.”

I asct ɖ cabmn f it wz tù lêt. Ɖ cabmn rplaid ɖt it wz nt; fr hiz instrux́nz wr, f I hapnd t b ǎt, h wz t wêt tl I cem hom. I flt vri tîrd, n riyli wontd t g t bed. I rīćt ɖ hotel at a qortr bfr midnît. I apoḷjîzd fr biyñ so lêt, bt Mr. Hutl sd: “Nt at ol; cm n hv a fy ôstrz.” I fīl mî hart bìtñ az I rait ɖz wrdz. T b brīf, Mr. Hutl sd h hd a rić Americn frend hu wontd t d smʈñ larj in ǎr lîn v biznis, n ɖt Mr. Franćñ hd mnśnd mî nem t him. W tōct ovr ɖ matr. F, bî eni hapi ćans, ɖ rzult b s’xesfl, I cn mor ɖn compnset mî dir mastr fr ɖ los v Mr. Croḅlón’z custm. Mr. Hutl hd prīvịsli sd: “Ɖ glorịs ‘Forʈ’ z a luci de fr America, n, az it hz nt yt struc twelv, w wl seḷbret it wɖ a glas v ɖ bst wîn t b hd in ɖ ples, n drinc gd luc t ǎr bit v biznis.”

I frvntli hop it wl brñ gd luc t s ol.

It wz tū o’cloc ẃn I got hom. Olɖo I wz so tîrd, I cd nt slīp xpt fr śort inṭvlz – ɖen onli t drīm.

I cept drīmñ v Mr. Prcup n Mr. Hutl. Ɖ latr wz in a luvli palis wɖ a crǎn on. Mr. Prcup wz wêtñ in ɖ rūm. Mr. Hutl cept tecñ of ɖs crǎn n handñ it t m, n cōlñ m “Prezidnt.”

H apird t tec no notis v Mr. Prcup, n I cept ascñ Mr. Hutl t gv ɖ crǎn t mî wrɖi mastr. Mr. Hutl cept seyñ: “No, ɖs z ɖ Ẃît Hǎs v Wośñtn, n y mst cīp yr crǎn, Mr. Prezidnt.”

W ol laft loñ n vri lǎdli, tl I got parćt, n ɖen I wouc p. I fél aslip, onli t drīm ɖ sem ʈñ ovr n ovr agn.

ĆAPTR Ɖ LAST

Wn v ɖ hapiist dez v mî lîf.

Jlî 10. – Ɖ xîtmnt n añzayti ʈru ẃć I hv gn ɖ last fy dez hv bn olmst inuf t trn mî her gre. It z ol bt setld. Tmoro ɖ dî wl b cast. I hv ritn a loñ letr t Lūpin – fīlñ it mî dyti t d so, – rgardñ hiz atnśn t Msz. Poś, fr ɖe drouv p t ǎr hǎs agn last nît.

Jlî 11. – I fînd mî îz filñ wɖ tirz az I pén ɖ not v mî inṭvy ɖs mornñ wɖ Mr. Prcup. Adresñ m, h sd: “Mî feʈfl srvnt, I wl nt dwel on ɖ importnt srvis y hv dn ǎr frm. Y cn nvr b sfiśntli ʈanct. Let s ćenj ɖ subjict. D y lîc yr hǎs, n r y hapi ẃr y r?”

I rplaid: “Yes, sr; I luv mî hǎs n I luv ɖ nebrhd, n cd nt ber t līv it.” Mr. Prcup, t mî s’prîz, sd: “Mr. Pūtr, I wl prćis ɖ frīhold v ɖt hǎs, n preznt it t ɖ most onist n most wrɖi man it hz evr bn mî lot t mīt.”

H śc mî hand, n sd h hopt mî wîf n I wd b sperd mni yirz t injô it. Mî hart wz tù fl t ʈanc him; n, siyñ mî imbaṛsmnt, ɖ gd felo sd: “Y nīd se nʈñ, Mr. Pūtr,” n left ɖ ofis.

I snt teḷgramz t Cári, Gowñ, n Cumñz (a ʈñ I hv nvr dn bfr), n asct ɖ tū latr t cm rnd t supr.

On arîvñ hom I faund Cári crayñ wɖ jô, n I snt Sẹra rnd t ɖ grosr’z t gt tū botlz v “Jacsn Frer.”

Mî tū dir frendz cem in ɖ īvnñ, n ɖ last post bròt a letr fṛm Lūpin in rplî t mîn. I réd it alǎd t ɖm ol. It ran: “Mî dir old Guv., – Cīp yr her on. Y r on ɖ roñ tac agn. I am ingejd t b marid t ‘Líli Grl.’ I dd nt mnśn it last Ʈrzde, az it wz nt defiṇtli setld. W śl b marid in Ōġst, n amñst ǎr gests w hop t si yr old frendz Gowñ n Cumñz. Wɖ mć luv t ol, fṛm Ɖ sem old Lūpin.”

Đ END

CLASICS IN ÑSPEL

Last Updated on 25/04/2020 by Frank Johnson

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