Fṛm Đ Gardịn: Boris Johnson is the wrong man in the wrong job at the wrong time

Polly Toynbee
Poli Tônbi
Boris Jonsn z ɖ roñ man in ɖ roñ job at ɖ roñ tîm

(Transcription of an article published in the Guardian on 20 April 2020)

Ɖ Súnde Tîmz reṿleśnz cnfrm ol ǎr wrst firz: ɖ prîm ministr’z hanḍlñ v c’roṇvîṛs hz bn śocñli cmplesnt

Munde, 20 Epril 2020

‘No one forget his cheery 3 March boast that he was still shaking hands with virus-sufferers. Nor that he was at Twickenham for a rugby match on 7 March.’ Photograph: Javier García/BPI/REX/Shutterstock
‘Nwn fget hiz ćiri 3 Marć bost ɖt h wz stl śecñ handz wɖ vîṛșufrrz. Nr ɖt h wz at Twicnm fr a rugbimać on 7 Marć.’ Foṭgraf: Javier Garsīa/BPI/REX/Śuṭstoc

Evrʈñ unravlz wɖ olmst indīsnt spīd. Aftr a bruś wɖ deʈ, ɖ prîm ministr z stl rcuṿrñ at Ćécrz ẃn wn v hiz mni s’portiv nyzpeprz drops a gṛned stret dǎn hiz Iliẓbīʈn ćimni. No pirịd v gres n conṿlesns: ɖ Súnde Tîmz dd’nt īvn wêt fr him t stumbl bac t Dǎnñ Strīt bfr fîrñ of its devstetñ atac on hiz caṿlir incompitns ovr ɖ c’roṇvîṛs-ǎtbrec.

Ẃt mcs ɖ insîdrz’ acǎnt so devstetñ z ɖt it ćîmz wɖ evrʈñ evrwn olrdi nz abt Boris Jonsn’z caṛctr. An uņemd “sīńr advîzr” t Dǎnñ Strīt “brouc rancs” t se: “Ẃt y lrn abt Boris wz h dd’nt ćer eni mītñz. H lîct hiz cuntribrecs. H dd’nt wrc wīc-endz. It wz lîc wrcñ fr an old-faśnd ćīf xktiv in a locl oʈoṛti 20 yirz ago. Ɖr wz a riyl sns ɖt h dd’nt d rjnt crîsisplanñ. It wz xacli lîc ppl fird h wd b.”

Xaɉretd or nt, hírñ ɖt ɖ prîm ministr tc tū wīcs’ hoḷde at Ćīvnñ az ɖ vîṛs bgan t spred in ɖ YC wl stic in ɖ public meṃri. Nr wl enwn fget hiz ćiri 3 Marć bost ɖt h wz stl śecñ handz wɖ vîṛșufrrz. Nr ɖt h wz at Twicnm fr a crǎdd rugbimać on 7 Marć. Bt abv ol, h míst nt wn bt ol v ɖ frst fîv Cobra mītñz on ɖ gaɖ̇rñ crîsis. Gordn Brǎn ćerd evri sngl Cobra mītñ on ft-n-mǎʈ – ẃn onli ɖ hlʈ v animlz wz at stec. Jonsn z ćarjd wɖ westñ 38 dez bfr tecñ sirịs ax́n agnst an eṗdemic aproćñ in plen sît. In hiz mînd, Ćîna wz far awe. N īvn ẃn Iṭli sufrd ɖ fl horr – dspt biyñ betr priperd, wɖ mor bedz n mor intnsiv-cer ynits – wel, ɖt wz jst Iṭli.

Nwn ilectd Boris Jonsn t cǒp wɖ a pleg. Ɖ smōl grūp v êjñ acṭvists in ɖ Tori parti s’lectd him fr hiz Brex̣tri – n ɖe lîct ɖ cut v hiz ćiri jib. H wz fun, upbìt, popylr n, abv ol, h hd swuñ ɖ Brexit vot t vicṭri. Mîcl Gov rportd on Súnde ɖt ɖ prîm ministr z “in ćirfl spirits”, bt ɖt’s baf̣lñli in’proprịt. Ćirfl? Abt ẃt? Gd croce on ɖ blosm-strùn Ćécrz lōnz? Ɖr r scorz v ded doctrz n nrsz amñ sm 20,000 ded sitiznz, n rîzñ. Hir z ɖ roñ man in ɖ roñ job at ɖ roñ tîm – ɖ polr oṗzit v Winstn Ćrćl’z arîvl in pǎr.

Ẃt mcs Jonsn s’prīmli unsūtd t ɖs ptiklr darcist aur z hiz naćṛl antiṗʈi twdz ɖ stet. In a spīć mnli on Brexit in Grenij on 3 Febrri, h atact Wūhan-stîl locdǎnz: “W r startñ t hír sm bizar ǎtarcic reṭric, ẃn barịrz r gwñ p, n ẃn ɖr z a risc ɖt ny dzizz sć az c’roṇvîṛs wl trigr a panic n a dzîr fr marcitsegṛgeśn.” H wnt on: “Hymaṇti nīdz sm guvnmnt smẃr ɖt z wilñ at līst t mc ɖ ces pǎrf̣li fr frīdm v xćenj.” H wz ɖt guvnmnt, alñ wɖ Doṇld Trump. “Hrd-iḿṇti” wz Jonsn’z poḷsi untl it bcem p’liticli unsstenbl. Ɖr-aftr, incompitns.

Ɖ Fnanśl Tîmz’ anaḷsis v bungld vnṭletrpṛkrmnt z a soḅrñ rīd: it sz ɖ guvnmnt cōld in non-speṣ́lists t mc p ɖ śortfōl in ynits n endd p wɖ products unfit fr Covid-19 peśnts. N ɖ Gardịn rvild ɖt, undr osteṛti, ɖr wz a dlibṛt 40% cut in imrjnsi prsnl pṛtctiv iqipmnt stocpîld fr an eṗdemic.

Lebr’z śado hlʈsecṛtri, Joṇʈn Aśwrʈ, z cōlñ fr pubḷceśn v ɖ fîndñz v a ʈri-de eṗdemicsiḿleśn in 2016, X’sîz Sigṇs, ẃć uncuvrd a criticl śortij v intnsiv-cer bedz, morgcpaṣti n PPI. Ɖ guvnmnt z rfyzñ frīdm-v-inf̣meśn rqsts, so ɖt me hv t wêt fr ɖ inevitbl public inqîri. Az wl fînl dītelz v ɖ fełr t tst, tres, îṣlet n trīt evri sngl ces, ẃć ɖ Wrld Hlʈ Orġnîześn nǎ sz śd b a prīcndiśn bfr cuntriz lūsn ɖer locdǎnz. Nn v ɖz ʈñz r in ples in ɖ YC, nẃr nir.

Yesṭde ɖ NHS Cnfeḍreśn n NHS Pṛvîdrz fîṇli lost peśns wɖ guvnmnt-dsoṇsti ovr wiśfl targits n planz: jst tel s plen facts, ɖe dmandd.

No guvnmnt cd b fŭli redi fr ɖs: fyćrlésnz wl b lrnt fṛm Sǎʈ C’rīa n uɖrz. Bt ɖs w nǒ: ǎr guvnmnt z snğlrli unsūtd t ɖ tasc n unfit fr prṗs. In hiz absns, Jonsn’z lac v sirịsnis z rflectd in hiz abizml ćôs v cabiṇt, s’lectd fr ol ɖ roñ rīznz. Doṃnic Rāb, Priti Ptel, Iliẓbʈ Trus n ɖ rest wr ćozn fr Brex̣tri n hetrid v ɖ stet. Rīd Britańa Unćend, ɖ comṗleśn v ɖer c’lectd ʈncñ, t si intu ɖer soulz. Ɖr’z no evidns ɖer wrldvy hz ćenjd.

Doṃnic Cumñz wz bròt in bî Jonsn t swñ a recñbōl at Ẃîthōl, locl caunslz, ɖ BBC n enʈñ ɖt smelt v gd guvnmnt. No s’prîz ɖt ɖoz hu d’nt b’liv in ɖ stet hv md ɖ wrst poṣbl fist v runñ it in a crîsis. Brexit imbodid ɖer mîndset: brec awe, brec ʈñz n dsrupt. Ẃn ɖ prîm ministr rtrnz, hiz sngl most ri’śurñ act wd b t pṛloñ imīɉtli ɖ Brexit trnziśn: yt last wīc Nu 10 sd it wd rjct an xtnśn, īvn f ɖ YY ofrd it. F Jonsn blundrz on az ɖ icoṇmi c’lapsz, ɖen w śl trūli nǒ w r in ɖ handz v fnatics.

Ultiṃtli, a public inqîri wl xamin ɖ stet v ɖ cuntri ẃn ɖ vîṛs struc. Hǎ 10 yirz v osteṛti cripld evri srvis dzînd t pṛtct n dfnd. Hǎ ɖ Andru Lanzli rformz blù ɖ NHS intu fragmnts; sośl cer wz stript bér; n locl guvnmnt, rsponsbl fr public hlʈ, wz średd. Īvn ɖ armi wz hobld.

Ɖ prîm ministr cn wax snṭmntl abt ɖ NHS, bt it’s onli wn arṭri v public srvis ɖt z ɖ lîfblud v gd guvnmnt. Az parḷmnt rtrnz, it’s tîm fr MPs t ćalinj ɖ fełrz v ɖz reṇgedz.

Poli Tônbi z a Gardịn coḷmnist.

Instroduction to Ñspel

2 thoughts on “Fṛm Đ Gardịn: Boris Johnson is the wrong man in the wrong job at the wrong time

  1. I think, Frank, that the recording for “wrong man in wrong job” is possibly wrong recording in right article…?

    1. Many thanks for pointing that out (and very eloquently put!) Careless Frank has now exchanged the wrong recording with the right recording in the right article about the wrong man in the wrong job.

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