In Ñspel: Ivy Day in the Committee Room, by James Joyce

(A transcription into Ñspel of the short story “Ivy Day in the Committee Room” from Dubliners, by James Joyce)

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Old Jac rêct ɖ sindrz tgɖr wɖ a pìs v cardbord n spred ɖm jdiśsli ovr ɖ ẃîṭnñ dom v colz. Ẃn ɖ dom wz ʈinli cuvrd hiz fes lapst intu darcnis bt, az h set himslf t fan ɖ fîr agn, hiz crǎćñ śado asndd ɖ oṗzit wōl n hiz fes slǒli riimrjd intu lît. It wz an old man’z fes, vri boni n hẹri. Ɖ môst blu îz blinct at ɖ fîr n ɖ môst mǎʈ fél opn at tîmz, munćñ wns or twîs mcanicli ẃn it clozd. Ẃn ɖ sindrz hd còt h leid ɖ pìs v cardbord agnst ɖ wōl, said n sd:

“Ɖt’s betr nǎ, Mr. O’Conr.”

Mr. O’Conr, a gre-herd yuñ man, huz fes wz dsfigrd bî mni bloćz n pimplz, hd jst bròt ɖ tbaco fr a siġrét intu a śepli silindr bt ẃn spocn t h undid hiz handiwrc medittivli. Ɖen h bgan t rol ɖ tbaco agn medittivli n aftr a momnt’s ʈt dsîdd t lic ɖ pepr.

“Dd Mr. Tirni se ẃn h’d b bac?” h asct in a husci fōlseto.

“H dd’nt se.”

Mr. O’Conr pt hiz siġrét intu hiz mǎʈ n bgan t srć hiz pocits. H tc ǎt a pac v ʈin pestbord cardz.

“I’l gt y a mać,” sd ɖ old man.

“Nvr mînd, ɖs’l d,” sd Mr. O’Conr.

H s’lectd wn v ɖ cardz n réd ẃt wz printd on it:

      ḾNISIPL ILEX́NZ

           —————

      ROYL XĆENJ WORD

           —————

Mr. Rićd J. Tirni, P.L.G., rspctf̣li s’lisits

ɖ fevr v yr vot n inflụns at ɖ cmñ ilex́n

in ɖ Royl Xćenj Word.

           —————

Mr. O’Conr hd bn ingejd bî Tirni’z ejnt t canvs wn part v ɖ word bt, az ɖ weɖr wz inclemnt n hiz būts let in ɖ wet, h spent a gret part v ɖ de sitñ bî ɖ fîr in ɖ Cmitirūm in Wiclo Strīt wɖ Jac, ɖ old certecr. Ɖe hd bn sitñ ɖus sins ɖ śort de hd groun darc. It wz ɖ sixʈ v Octobr, dizṃl n cold ǎt v dorz.

Mr. O’Conr tòr a strip of ɖ card n, lîtñ it, lit hiz siġrét. Az h dd so ɖ flem lit p a līf v darc glosi îvi in ɖ l’pél v hiz cot. Ɖ old man woćt him atntivli n ɖen, tecñ p ɖ pìs v cardbord agn, bgan t fan ɖ fîr slǒli ẃl hiz cmpańn smoct.

“Ā, yes,” h sd, cntinywñ, “it’s hard t nǒ ẃt we t brñ p ćildṛn. Nǎ hu’d ʈnc h’d trn ǎt lîc ɖt! I snt him t ɖ Crisćn Bruɖrz n I dn ẃt I cd fr him, n ɖr h gz būzñ abt. I traid t mc him smwe dīsnt.”

H rplest ɖ cardbord wiṛli.

“Onli I’m an old man nǎ I’d ćenj hiz tyn fr him. I’d tec ɖ stic t hiz bac n bìt him ẃl I cd stand ovr him—az I dn mni a tîm bfr. Ɖ muɖr, y nǒ, ś cocs him p wɖ ɖs n ɖt…”

“Ɖt’s ẃt ruinz ćildṛn,” sd Mr. O’Conr.

“T b śr it z,” sd ɖ old man. “N litl ʈancs y gt fr it, onli impydns. H tecs ɖ’upr hand v m ẃnvr h siz I’v a sup tecn. Ẃt’s ɖ wrld cmñ t ẃn sunz spīcs ɖt we t ɖer faɖr?”

“Ẃt ej z h?” sd Mr. O’Conr.

“Nîntīn,” sd ɖ old man.

“Ẃ d’nt y pt him t smʈñ?”

“Śr, amn’t I nvr dn at ɖ druncn bǎzi evr sins h left scūl? ‘I w’nt cīp y,’ I sz. ‘Y mst gt a job fr yrslf.’ Bt, śr, it’s wrs ẃnvr h gts a job; h drincs it ol.”

Mr. O’Conr śc hiz hed in simṗʈi, n ɖ old man fél sîḷnt, gezñ intu ɖ fîr. Smwn opnd ɖ dor v ɖ rūm n cōld ǎt:

“Hlo! Z ɖs a Frīmesnz’ mītñ?”

“Hu’z ɖt?” sd ɖ old man.

“Ẃt r y dwñ in ɖ darc?” asct a vôs.

“Z ɖt y, Hînz?” asct Mr. O’Conr.

“Yes. Ẃt r y dwñ in ɖ darc?” sd Mr. Hînz. advansñ intu ɖ lît v ɖ fîr.

H wz a tōl, slendr yuñ man wɖ a lît brǎn mstaś. Iminnt litl drops v ren huñ at ɖ brim v hiz hat n ɖ colr v hiz jacitcot wz trnd p.

“Wel, Mat,” h sd t Mr. O’Conr, “hǎ gz it?”

Mr. O’Conr śc hiz hed. Ɖ old man left ɖ harʈ n, aftr stumḅlñ abt ɖ rūm rtrnd wɖ tū candlstics ẃć h ʈrust wn aftr ɖ uɖr intu ɖ fîr n carid t ɖ tebl. A dńdd rūm cem intu vy n ɖ fîr lost ol its ćirfl culr. Ɖ wōlz v ɖ rūm wr bér xpt fr a copi v an ilex́n’dres. In ɖ midl v ɖ rūm wz a smōl tebl on ẃć peprz wr hīpt.

Mr. Hînz līnd agnst ɖ mantlpìs n asct:

“Hz h peid y yt?”

“Nt yt,” sd Mr. O’Conr. “I hop t God h’l nt līv s in ɖ lrć tnît.”

Mr. Hînz laft.

“Ǒ, h’l pe y. Nvr fir,” h sd.

“I hop h’l lc smart abt it f h mīnz biznis,” sd Mr. O’Conr.

“Ẃt d y ʈnc, Jac?” sd Mr. Hînz s’tiricli t ɖ old man.

Ɖ old man rtrnd t hiz sīt bî ɖ fîr, seyñ:

“It z’nt bt h hz it, enwe. Nt lîc ɖ uɖr tncr.”

“Ẃt uɖr tncr?” sd Mr. Hînz.

“Colgn,” sd ɖ old man scornf̣li.

“It z bcz Colgn’z a wrcñman y se ɖt? Ẃt’s ɖ difṛns btwn a gd onist bricleyr n a publicn—ê? Hz’nt ɖ wrcñman az gd a rît t b in ɖ Corṗreśn az enwn els—ai, n a betr rît ɖn ɖoz śnīnz ɖt r olwz hat in hand bfr eni felo wɖ a handl t hiz nem? Z’nt ɖt so, Mat?” sd Mr. Hînz, adresñ Mr. O’Conr.

“I ʈnc y’r rît,” sd Mr. O’Conr.

“Wn man z a plen onist man wɖ no huncrslîdñ abt him. H gz in t repriznt ɖ lebrclasz. Ɖs felo y’r wrcñ fr onli wonts t gt sm job or uɖr.”

“V cors, ɖ wrcñclasz śd b reprizntd,” sd ɖ old man.

“Ɖ wrcñman,” sd Mr. Hînz, “gts ol cics n no hepns. Bt it’s lebr pṛdysz evrʈñ. Ɖ wrcñman z nt lcñ fr fat jobz fr hiz sunz n nefyz n cuznz. Ɖ wrcñman z nt gwñ t drag ɖ onr v Dublin in ɖ mud t plīz a Jrmn moṇc.”

“Hǎ’z ɖt?” sd ɖ old man.

“D’nt y nǒ ɖe wont t priznt an adres v welcm t Edẉd Rex f h cmz hir nxt yir? Ẃt d w wont cǎ-tǎwñ t a foṛn cñ?”

“Ǎr man w’nt vot fr ɖ adres,” sd Mr. O’Conr. “H gz in on ɖ Naśṇlist ticit.”

“W’nt h?” sd Mr. Hînz. “Wêt tl y si ẃɖr h wl or nt. I nǒ him. Z it Trici Dici Tirni?”

“Bî God! phps y’r rît, Jo,” sd Mr. O’Conr. “Enwe, I wś h’d trn p wɖ ɖ spondylics.”

Ɖ ʈri men fél sîḷnt. Ɖ old man bgan t rêc mor sindrz tgɖr. Mr. Hînz tc of hiz hat, śc it n ɖen trnd dǎn ɖ colr v hiz cot, dspleyñ, az h dd so, an îvilīf in ɖ l’pél.

“F ɖs man wz alîv,” h sd, pôntñ t ɖ līf, “w’d hv no tōc v an adres v welcm.”

“Ɖt’s tru,” sd Mr. O’Conr.

“Muśa, God b wɖ ɖm tîmz!” sd ɖ old man. “Ɖr wz sm lîf in it ɖen.”

Ɖ rūm wz sîḷnt agn. Ɖen a buṣlñ litl man wɖ a snuf̣lñ nǒz n vri cold irz pśt in ɖ dor. H wōct ovr qcli t ɖ fîr, rubñ hiz handz az f h intndd t pṛdys a sparc fṛm ɖm.

“No muni, bôz,” h sd.

“Sit dǎn hir, Mr. Hnći,” sd ɖ old man, of̣rñ him hiz ćer.

“Ǒ, d’nt str, Jac, d’nt str,” sd Mr. Hnći.

H nodd crtli t Mr. Hînz n sat dǎn on ɖ ćer ẃć ɖ old man vcetd.

“Dd y srv Ōnjịr Strīt?” h asct Mr. O’Conr.

“Yes,” sd Mr. O’Conr, bginñ t srć hiz pocits fr meṃranda.

“Dd y cōl on Grîmz?”

“I dd.”

“Wel? Hǎ dz h stand?”

“H wd’nt promis. H sd: ‘I w’nt tel enwn ẃt we I’m gwñ t vot.’ Bt I ʈnc h’l b ol rît.”

“Ẃ so?”

“H asct m hu ɖ noṃnetrz wr; n I tld him. I mnśnd Faɖr Brc’s nem. I ʈnc it’l b ol rît.”

Mr. Hnći bgan t snufl n t rub hiz handz ovr ɖ fîr at a t’rific spīd. Ɖen h sd:

“Fr ɖ luv v God, Jac, brñ s a bit v col. Ɖr mst b sm left.”

Ɖ old man wnt ǎt v ɖ rūm.

“It’s no g,” sd Mr. Hnći, śecñ hiz hed. “I asct ɖ litl śūbô, bt h sd: ‘Ǒ, nǎ, Mr. Hnći, ẃn I si wrc gwñ on proprli I w’nt fget y, y me b śr.’ Mīn litl tncr! ’Uśa, hǎ cd h b enʈñ els?”

“Ẃt dd I tel y, Mat?” sd Mr. Hînz. “Trici Dici Tirni.”

“Ǒ, h’z az trici az ɖe mc ’m,” sd Mr. Hnći. “H hz’nt got ɖoz litl pigz’ îz fr nʈñ. Blast hiz soul! Cd’nt h pe p lîc a man instd v: ‘Ǒ, nǎ, Mr. Hnći, I mst spīc t Mr. Fanñ… I’v spent a lot v muni’? Mīn litl śūbô v hel! I s’poz h fgets ɖ tîm hiz litl old faɖr cept ɖ hand-m-dǎn śop in Mẹri’z Len.”

“Bt z ɖt a fact?” asct Mr. O’Conr.

“God, yes,” sd Mr. Hnći. “Dd y nvr hír ɖt? N ɖ men yst t g in on Súnde mornñ bfr ɖ hǎzz wr opn t bai a weistcot or a trǎzrz—moia! Bt Trici Dici’z litl old faɖr olwz hd a trici litl blac botl p in a cornr. D y mînd nǎ? Ɖt’s ɖt. Ɖt’s ẃr h frst sw ɖ lît.”

Ɖ old man rtrnd wɖ a fy lumps v col ẃć h plest hir n ɖr on ɖ fîr.

“Ɖt’s a nîs hǎ-d-y-du,” sd Mr. O’Conr. “Hǎ dz h xpct s t wrc fr him f h w’nt stump p?”

“I c’nt hlp it,” sd Mr. Hnći. “I xpct t fînd ɖ beilifs in ɖ hōl ẃn I g hom.”

Mr. Hînz laft n, śuvñ himslf awe fṛm ɖ mantlpìs wɖ ɖ ed v hiz śoldrz, md redi t līv.

“It’l b ol rît ẃn Cñ Édi cmz,” h sd. “Wel bôz, I’m of fr ɖ preznt. Si y lêtr. ’Bái, ’bái.”

H wnt ǎt v ɖ rūm slǒli. Nɖr Mr. Hnći nr ɖ old man sd enʈñ bt, jst az ɖ dor wz clozñ, Mr. O’Conr, hu hd bn stẹrñ mūḍli intu ɖ fîr, cōld ǎt sudnli:

“’Bái, Jo.”

Mr. Hnći wêtd a fy momnts n ɖen nodd in ɖ d’rex́n v ɖ dor.

“Tel m,” h sd acrs ɖ fîr, “ẃt brñz ǎr frend in hir? Ẃt dz h wont?”

“’Uśa, pur Jo!” sd Mr. O’Conr, ʈrowñ ɖ end v hiz siġrét intu ɖ fîr, “h’z hard p, lîc ɖ rest v s.”

Mr. Hnći snufld vigṛsli n spat so copịsli ɖt h nirli pt ǎt ɖ fîr, ẃć utrd a hisñ protest.

“T tel y mî prîṿt n candid opińn,” h sd, “I ʈnc h’z a man fṛm ɖ uɖr camp. H’z a spî v Colgn’z, f y asc m. Jst g rnd n trî n fînd ǎt hǎ ɖ’r gtñ on. Ɖe w’nt sspct y. D y twig?”

“Ā, pur Jo z a dīsnt scin,” sd Mr. O’Conr.

“Hiz faɖr wz a dīsnt rspctbl man,” Mr. Hnći admitd. “Pur old Lari Hînz! Mni a gd trn h dd in hiz de! Bt I’m gretli afred ǎr frend z nt nîntīn caṛt. Dám it, I cn unḍstand a felo biyñ hard p, bt ẃt I c’nt unḍstand z a felo spunjñ. Cd’nt h hv sm sparc v manhd abt him?”

“H dz’nt gt a worm welcm fṛm m ẃn h cmz,” sd ɖ old man. “Let him wrc fr hiz ǒn sîd n nt cm spayñ arnd hir.”

“I d’nt nǒ,” sd Mr. O’Conr dybịsli, az h tc ǎt siġrétpeprz n tbaco. “I ʈnc Jo Hînz z a stret man. H’z a clevr ćap, tù, wɖ ɖ pén. D y rmembr ɖt ʈñ h rout…?”

“Sm v ɖz hilsîdrz n fīńnz r a bit tù clevr f y asc m,” sd Mr. Hnći. “D y nǒ ẃt mî prîṿt n candid opińn z abt sm v ɖoz litl jocrz? I b’liv haf v ɖm r in ɖ pe v ɖ Casl.”

“Ɖr’z no nwñ,” sd ɖ old man.

“Ǒ, bt I nǒ it fr a fact,” sd Mr. Hnći. “Ɖ’r Casl hacs… I d’nt se Hînz… No, dám it, I ʈnc h’z a stroc abv ɖt… Bt ɖr’z a srtn litl noblmn wɖ a coc-î—y nǒ ɖ petrịt I’m aludñ t?”

Mr. O’Conr nodd.

“Ɖr’z a lińl dsndnt v Mejr Sir fr y f y lîc! Ǒ, ɖ hart’s blud v a petrịt! Ɖt’s a felo nǎ ɖt’d sel hiz cuntri fr forpns—ai—n g dǎn on hiz bndd niz n ʈanc ɖ Olmîti Crîst h hd a cuntri t sel.”

Ɖr wz a noc at ɖ dor.

“Cm in!” sd Mr. Hnći.

A prsn rzmḅlñ a pur clrjimn or a pur actr apird in ɖ dorwe. Hiz blac cloɖz wr tîtli butnd on hiz śort bodi n it wz imposbl t se ẃɖr h wòr a clrjimn’z colr or a lêmn’z, bcz ɖ colr v hiz śabi froc̦ot, ɖ uncuvrd butnz v ẃć rflectd ɖ candļît, wz trnd p abt hiz nec. H wòr a rǎnd hat v hard blac flt. Hiz fes, śînñ wɖ rendrops, hd ɖ apiṛns v damp yelo ćīz sev ẃr tū rozi spots indcetd ɖ ćīcbonz. H opnd hiz vri loñ mǎʈ sudnli t xpres dis’pôntmnt n at ɖ sem tîm opnd wîd hiz vri brît blu îz t xpres pleźr n s’prîz.

“Ô Faɖr Cion!” sd Mr. Hnći, jumpñ p fṛm hiz ćer. “Z ɖt y? Cm in!”

“Ǒ, no, no, no!” sd Faɖr Cion qcli, prsñ hiz lips az f h wr adresñ a ćîld.

“W’nt y cm in n sit dǎn?”

“No, no, no!” sd Faɖr Cion, spīcñ in a dscrit induljnt vlṿti vôs. “D’nt let m dstrb y nǎ! I’m jst lcñ fr Mr. Fanñ…”

“H’z rnd at ɖ Blac Īgl,” sd Mr. Hnći. “Bt w’nt y cm in n sit dǎn a minit?”

“No, no, ʈanc y. It wz jst a litl biznis matr,” sd Faɖr Cion. “Ʈanc y, indd.”

H rtritd fṛm ɖ dorwe n Mr. Hnći, sizñ wn v ɖ candlstics, wnt t ɖ dor t lît him dǎnsterz.

“Ǒ, d’nt trubl, I beg!”

“No, bt ɖ sterz z so darc.”

“No, no, I cn si… Ʈanc y, indd.”

“R y rît nǎ?”

“Ol rît, ʈancs… Ʈancs.”

Mr. Hnći rtrnd wɖ ɖ candlstic n pt it on ɖ tebl. H sat dǎn agn at ɖ fîr. Ɖr wz sîḷns fr a fy momnts.

“Tel m, Jon,” sd Mr. O’Conr, lîtñ hiz siġrét wɖ anɖr pestbord card.

“Hm?”

“Ẃt h z xacli?”

“Asc m an īzịr wn,” sd Mr. Hnći.

“Fanñ n himslf sīm t m vri ʈic. Ɖ’r ofn in Caṿna’z tgɖr. Z h a prīst at ol?”

“M-, yes, I b’liv so… I ʈnc h’z ẃt y cōl a blac śīp. W hv’nt mni v ɖm, ʈanc God! bt w hv a fy… H’z an unforćṇt man v sm cnd…”

“N hǎ dz h noc it ǎt?” asct Mr. O’Conr.

“Ɖt’s anɖr misṭri.”

“Z h ataćt t eni ćapl or ćrć or insttyśn or——”

“No,” sd Mr. Hnći, “I ʈnc h’z traṿlñ on hiz ǒn acǎnt… God fgiv m,” h add, “I ʈt h wz ɖ duzn v stǎt.”

“Z ɖr eni ćans v a drinc itslf?” asct Mr. O’Conr.

“I’m drî tù,” sd ɖ old man.

“I asct ɖt litl śūbô ʈri tîmz,” sd Mr. Hnći, “wd h snd p a duzn v stǎt. I asct him agn nǎ, bt h wz līnñ on ɖ cǎntr in hiz śrtslīvz hvñ a dīp gostr wɖ Ōlḍmn Cǎli.”

“Ẃ dd’nt y rmînd him?” sd Mr. O’Conr.

“Wel, I cd’nt g ovr ẃl h wz tōcñ t Ōlḍmn Cǎli. I jst wêtd tl I còt hiz î, n sd: ‘Abt ɖt litl matr I wz spīcñ t y abt…’ ‘Ɖt’l b ol rît, Mr. H.,’ h sd. Yera, śr ɖ litl hóp-o’-mî-ʈum hz fgotn ol abt it.”

“Ɖr’z sm dīl on in ɖt qortr,” sd Mr. O’Conr ʈtf̣li. “I sw ɖ ʈri v ɖm hard at it yesṭde at Suf̣c Strīt cornr.”

“I ʈnc I nǒ ɖ litl gem ɖ’r at,” sd Mr. Hnći. “Y mst o ɖ Siti Faɖrz muni nawdez f y wont t b md Lord Mẹr. Ɖen ɖ’l mc y Lord Mẹr. Bî God! I’m ʈncñ sirịsli v bcmñ a Siti Faɖr mslf. Ẃt d y ʈnc? Wd I d fr ɖ job?”

Mr. O’Conr laft.

“So far az owñ muni gz…”

“Drîvñ ǎt v ɖ Manśnhǎs,” sd Mr. Hnći, “in ol mî vrmin, wɖ Jac hir standñ p bhnd m in a pǎdrd wig—ê?”

“N mc m yr prîṿt secṛtri, Jon.”

“Yes. N I’l mc Faɖr Cion mî prîṿt ćaplin. W’l hv a faṃliparti.”

“Feʈ, Mr. Hnći,” sd ɖ old man, “y’d cīp p betr stîl ɖn sm v ɖm. I wz tōcñ wn de t old Cīgn, ɖ portr. ‘N hǎ d y lîc yr ny mastr, Pat?’ sz I t him. ‘Y hv’nt mć enttenñ nǎ,’ sz I. ‘Enttenñ!’ sz h. ‘H’d liv on ɖ smel v an ôlrag.’ N d y nǒ ẃt h tld m? Nǎ, I dcler t God I dd’nt b’liv him.”

“Ẃt?” sd Mr. Hnći n Mr. O’Conr.

“H tld m: ‘Ẃt d y ʈnc v a Lord Mẹr v Dublin sndñ ǎt fr a pǎnd v ćops fr hiz dinr? Hǎ’z ɖt fr hî livñ?’ sz h. ‘Wiśa! wiśa,’ sz I. ‘A pǎnd v ćops,’ sz h, ‘cmñ intu ɖ Manśnhǎs.’ ‘Wiśa!’ sz I, ‘ẃt cnd v ppl z gwñ at ol nǎ?’”

At ɖs pônt ɖr wz a noc at ɖ dor, n a bô pt in hiz hed.

“Ẃt z it?” sd ɖ old man.

“Fṛm ɖ Blac Īgl,” sd ɖ bô, wōcñ in sîdwez n dpoẓtñ a bascit on ɖ flor wɖ a nôz v śecn botlz.

Ɖ old man hlpt ɖ bô t transfr ɖ botlz fṛm ɖ bascit t ɖ tebl n cǎntd ɖ fl tali. Aftr ɖ transfr ɖ bô pt hiz bascit on hiz arm n asct:

“Eni botlz?”

“Ẃt botlz?” sd ɖ old man.

“W’nt y let s drinc ɖm frst?” sd Mr. Hnći.

“I wz tld t asc fr ɖ botlz.”

“Cm bac tmro,” sd ɖ old man.

“Hir, bô!” sd Mr. Hnći, “wl y run ovr t O’Faṛl’z n asc him t lend s a corcscru—fr Mr. Hnći, se. Tel him w w’nt cīp it a minit. Līv ɖ bascit ɖr.”

Ɖ bô wnt ǎt n Mr. Hnći bgan t rub hiz handz ćirf̣li, seyñ:

“Ā, wel, h’z nt so bad aftr ol. H’z az gd az hiz wrd, enhǎ.”

“Ɖr’z no tumblrz,” sd ɖ old man.

“Ǒ, d’nt let ɖt trubl y, Jac,” sd Mr. Hnći. “Mni’z ɖ gd man bfr nǎ dranc ǎt v ɖ botl.”

“Enwe, it’s betr ɖn nʈñ,” sd Mr. O’Conr.

“H’z nt a bad sort,” sd Mr. Hnći, “onli Fanñ hz sć a loun v him. H mīnz wel, y nǒ, in hiz ǒn tinpot we.”

Ɖ bô cem bac wɖ ɖ corcscru. Ɖ old man opnd ʈri botlz n wz handñ bac ɖ corcscru ẃn Mr. Hnći sd t ɖ bô:

“Wd y lîc a drinc, bô?”

“F y plīz, sr,” sd ɖ bô.

Ɖ old man opnd anɖr botl grujñli, n handd it t ɖ bô.

“Ẃt ej r y?” h asct.

“Sevntīn,” sd ɖ bô.

Az ɖ old man sd nʈñ frɖr, ɖ bô tc ɖ botl n sd: “Hir’z mî bst rspcts, sr,” t Mr. Hnći, dranc ɖ contents, pt ɖ botl bac on ɖ tebl n wîpt hiz mǎʈ wɖ hiz slīv. Ɖen h tc p ɖ corcscru n wnt ǎt v ɖ dor sîdwez, muṭrñ sm form v sałteśn.

“Ɖt’s ɖ we it bginz,” sd ɖ old man.

“Ɖ ʈin éj v ɖ wéj,” sd Mr. Hnći.

Ɖ old man dstribytd ɖ ʈri botlz ẃć h hd opnd n ɖ men dranc fṛm ɖm simlteńsli. Aftr hvñ drunc ć plest hiz botl on ɖ mantlpìs wɖn hand’z rīć n drù in a loñ breʈ v saṭsfax́n.

“Wel, I dd a gd de’z wrc tde,” sd Mr. Hnći, aftr a pōz.

“Ɖt so, Jon?”

“Yes. I got him wn or tū śr ʈñz in Dōsn Strīt, Croftn n mslf. Btwn ǎrslvz, y nǒ, Croftn (h’z a dīsnt ćap, v cors), bt h’z nt wrʈ a dám az a canvsr. H hz’nt a wrd t ʈro t a dog. H standz n lcs at ɖ ppl ẃl I d ɖ tōcñ.”

Hir tū men entrd ɖ rūm. Wn v ɖm wz a vri fat man huz blu srj cloɖz sīmd t b in denjr v fōlñ fṛm hiz slǒpñ figr. H hd a big fes ẃć rzmbld a yuñ ox’z fes in xpreśn, stẹrñ blu îz n a grizld mstaś. Ɖ uɖr man, hu wz mć yungr n frelr, hd a ʈin, clīn-śevn fes. H wòr a vri hî dubl colr n a wîd-brimd bolrhat.

“Hlo, Croftn!” sd Mr. Hnći t ɖ fat man. “Tōc v ɖ devl…”

“Ẃr dd ɖ būz cm fṛm?” asct ɖ yuñ man. “Dd ɖ cǎ cav?”

“Ǒ, v cors, Láynz spots ɖ drinc frst ʈñ!” sd Mr. O’Conr, lafñ.

“Z ɖt ɖ we y ćaps canvs,” sd Mr. Láynz, “n Croftn n I ǎt in ɖ cold n ren lcñ fr vots?”

“Ẃ, blast yr soul,” sd Mr. Hnći, “I’d gt mor vots in fîv minits ɖn y tū’d gt in a wīc.”

“Opn tū botlz v stǎt, Jac,” sd Mr. O’Conr.

“Hǎ cn I?” sd ɖ old man, “ẃn ɖr’z no corcscru?”

“Wêt nǎ, wêt nǎ!” sd Mr. Hnći, gtñ p qcli. “Dd y evr si ɖs litl tric?”

H tc tū botlz fṛm ɖ tebl n, cariyñ ɖm t ɖ fîr, pt ɖm on ɖ hob. Ɖen h sat dǎn agn bî ɖ fîr n tc anɖr drinc fṛm hiz botl. Mr. Láynz sat on ɖ éj v ɖ tebl, pśt hiz hat twdz ɖ nep v hiz nec n bgan t swñ hiz legz.

“Ẃć z mî botl?” h asct.

“Ɖs lad,” sd Mr. Hnći.

Mr. Croftn sat dǎn on a box n lct fixidli at ɖ uɖr botl on ɖ hob. H wz sîḷnt fr tū rīznz. Ɖ frst rīzn, sfiśnt in itslf, wz ɖt h hd nʈñ t se; ɖ secnd rīzn wz ɖt h cnsidrd hiz cmpańnz bnʈ him. H hd bn a canvsr fr Wilcinz, ɖ Cnsrvtiv, bt ẃn ɖ Cnsrvtivz hd wɖdrwn ɖer man n, ćuzñ ɖ lsr v tū īvlz, gvn ɖer s’port t ɖ Naśṇlist canddet, h hd bn ingejd t wrc fr Mr. Tirni.

In a fy minits an apoḷjetic “Poc!” wz hŕd az ɖ corc flù ǎt v Mr. Láynz’ botl. Mr. Láynz jumt of ɖ tebl, wnt t ɖ fîr, tc hiz botl n carid it bac t ɖ tebl.

“I wz jst telñ ɖm, Croftn,” sd Mr. Hnći, “ɖt w got a gd fy vots tde.”

“Hu dd y gt?” asct Mr. Láynz.

“Wel, I got Pārcs fr wn, n I got Atcinsn fr tū, n got Word v Dōsn Strīt. Fîn old ćap h z, tù—reğlr old tof, old Cnsrvtiv! ‘Bt z’nt yr canddet a Naśṇlist?’ sd h. ‘H’z a rspctbl man,’ sd I. ‘H’z in fevr v ẃtvr wl beṇfit ɖs cuntri. H’z a big retpeyr,’ I sd. ‘H hz xtnsiv hǎsproṗti in ɖ siti n ʈri plesz v biznis n z’nt it t hiz ǒn advantij t cīp dǎn ɖ rets? H’z a prominnt n rspctd sitizn,’ sd I, ‘n a Purlw Gardịn, n h dz’nt b’loñ t eni parti, gd, bad, or indifṛnt.’ Ɖt’s ɖ we t tōc t ’m.”

“N ẃt abt ɖ adres t ɖ Cñ?” sd Mr. Láynz, aftr drincñ n smacñ hiz lips.

“Lisn t m,” sd Mr. Hnći. “Ẃt w wont in ɖs cuntri, az I sd t old Word, z capitl. Ɖ Cñ’z cmñ hir wl mīn an influx v muni intu ɖs cuntri. Ɖ sitiznz v Dublin wl beṇfit bî it. Lc at ol ɖ facṭriz dǎn bî ɖ cìz ɖr, îdl! Lc at ol ɖ muni ɖr z in ɖ cuntri f w onli wrct ɖ old inḍstriz, ɖ milz, ɖ śip-bildñ yardz n facṭriz. It’s capitl w wont.”

“Bt lc hir, Jon,” sd Mr. O’Conr. “Ẃ śd w welcm ɖ Cñ v Ñgḷnd? Dd’nt Parnel himslf…”

“Parnel,” sd Mr. Hnći, “z ded. Nǎ, hir’z ɖ we I lc at it. Hir’z ɖs ćap cm t ɖ ʈron aftr hiz old muɖr cīpñ him ǎt v it tl ɖ man wz gre. H’z a man v ɖ wrld, n h mīnz wel bî s. H’z a joli fîn dīsnt felo, f y asc m, n no dám nonsns abt him. H jst sz t himslf: ‘Ɖ old wn nvr wnt t si ɖz wîld Îriś. Bî Crîst, I’l g mslf n si ẃt ɖ’r lîc.’ N r w gwñ t insult ɖ man ẃn h cmz ovr hir on a frendli vizit? Ê? Z’nt ɖt rît, Croftn?”

Mr. Croftn nodd hiz hed.

“Bt aftr ol nǎ,” sd Mr. Láynz arğmnttivli, “Cñ Edẉd’z lîf, y nǒ, z nt ɖ vri…”

“Let bîgonz b bîgonz,” sd Mr. Hnći. “I admîr ɖ man prsṇli. H’z jst an ordnri noc’bt lîc y n m. H’z fond v hiz glas v grog n h’z a bit v a rêc, phps, n h’z a gd sportsmn. Dám it, c’nt w Îriś ple fer?”

“Ɖt’s ol vri fîn,” sd Mr. Láynz. “Bt lc at ɖ ces v Parnel nǎ.”

“In ɖ nem v God,” sd Mr. Hnći, “ẃr’z ɖ anaḷji btwn ɖ tū cesz?”

“Ẃt I mīn,” sd Mr. Láynz, “z w hv ǎr îdiylz. Ẃ, nǎ, wd w welcm a man lîc ɖt? D y ʈnc nǎ aftr ẃt h dd Parnel wz a fit man t līd s? N ẃ, ɖen, wd w d it fr Edẉd ɖ Sevnʈ?”

“Ɖs z Parnel’z aṇvrsri,” sd Mr. O’Conr, “n d’nt let s str p eni bad blud. W ol rspct him nǎ ɖt h’z ded n gn—īvn ɖ Cnsrvtivz,” h add, trnñ t Mr. Croftn.

Poc! Ɖ tardi corc flù ǎt v Mr. Croftn’z botl. Mr. Croftn got p fṛm hiz box n wnt t ɖ fîr. Az h rtrnd wɖ hiz capćr h sd in a dīp vôs:

“Ǎr sîd v ɖ hǎs rspcts him, bcz h wz a jntlmn.”

“Rît y r, Croftn!” sd Mr. Hnći firsli. “H wz ɖ onli man ɖt cd cīp ɖt bag v cats in ordr. ‘Dǎn, yi dogz! Lî dǎn, yi crz!’ Ɖt’s ɖ we h trītd ɖm. Cm in, Jo! Cm in!” h cōld ǎt, caćñ sît v Mr. Hînz in ɖ dorwe.

Mr. Hînz cem in slǒli.

“Opn anɖr botl v stǎt, Jac,” sd Mr. Hnći. “Ǒ, I fgot ɖr’z no corcscru! Hir, śo m wn hir n I’l pt it at ɖ fîr.”

Ɖ old man handd him anɖr botl n h plest it on ɖ hob.

“Sit dǎn, Jo,” sd Mr. O’Conr, “w’r jst tōcñ abt ɖ Ćīf.”

“Ai, ai!” sd Mr. Hnći.

Mr. Hînz sat on ɖ sîd v ɖ tebl nir Mr. Láynz bt sd nʈñ.

“Ɖr’z wn v ɖm, enhǎ,” sd Mr. Hnći, “ɖt dd’nt rneg him. Bî God, I’l se fr y, Jo! No, bî God, y stuc t him lîc a man!”

“Ǒ, Jo,” sd Mr. O’Conr sudnli. “Gv s ɖt ʈñ y rout—d y rmembr? Hv y got it on y?”

“Ǒ, ai!” sd Mr. Hnći. “Gv s ɖt. Dd y evr hír ɖt, Croftn? Lisn t ɖs nǎ: splendid ʈñ.”

“G on,” sd Mr. O’Conr. “Fîr awe, Jo.”

Mr. Hînz dd nt sīm t rmembr at wns ɖ pìs t ẃć ɖe wr aludñ bt, aftr rflectñ a ẃl, h sd:

“Ô, ɖt ʈñ z it… Śr, ɖt’s old nǎ.”

“Ǎt wɖ it, man!” sd Mr. O’Conr.

“’Ś, ’ś,” sd Mr. Hnći. “Nǎ, Jo!”

Mr. Hînz heztetd a litl longr. Ɖen amd ɖ sîḷns h tc of hiz hat, leid it on ɖ tebl n std p. H sīmd t b rhrsñ ɖ pìs in hiz mînd.
Aftr a rɖr loñ pōz h anǎnst:

                       Ɖ DEƮ V PARNEL

                        6ʈ Octobr 1891

 

H clird hiz ʈrot wns or twîs n ɖen bgan t rsît:

            H z ded.  Ǎr Uncrǎnd Cñ z ded.

              Ǒ, Erin, mōrn wɖ grīf n wo

            Fr h lîz ded hūm ɖ fél gañ

              V modn hiṗcrits leid lo.

 

            H lîz slein bî ɖ cawd hǎndz

              H rezd t glori fṛm ɖ mîr;

            N Erin’z hops n Erin’z drīmz

              Periś upn hr moṇc’s pîr.

 

            In palis, cabin or in cot

              Ɖ Îriś hart ẃr’er it b

            Z baud wɖ wo—fr h z gn

              Hu wd hv ròt hr dsṭni.

 

            H wd hv hd hiz Erin femd,

              Ɖ grīn flag glorịsli unfrld,

            Hr stetsṃn, bardz n worịrz rezd

              Bfr ɖ neśnz v ɖ Wrld.

 

            H dremt (alas, ’twas bt a drīm!)

              V Liḅti: bt az h strov

            T cluć ɖt aidl, treć̣ri

              Sundrd him fṛm ɖ ʈñ h luvd.

 

            Śem on ɖ cawd, cêtif handz

              Ɖt smout ɖer Lord or wɖ a cis

            Btreid him t ɖ rablrǎt

              V fōnñ prīsts—no frendz v hiz.

 

            Me eṿlastñ śem cnsym

              Ɖ meṃri v ɖoz hu traid

            T bfǎl n smir ɖ xōltd nem

              V wn hu sprnd ɖm in hiz prîd.

 

            H fél az fōl ɖ mîti wnz,

              Nobli undōntd t ɖ last,

            N deʈ hz nǎ ynîtd him

              Wɖ Erin’z hiroz v ɖ past.

 

            No sǎnd v strîf dstrb hiz slīp!

              Cāmli h rests: no hymn pen

            Or hî ambiśn sprz him nǎ

              Ɖ pīcs v glori t aten.

 

            Ɖe hd ɖer we: ɖe leid him lo.

              Bt Erin, list, hiz spirit me

            Rîz, lîc ɖ Fīnix fṛm ɖ flemz,

              Ẃn brecs ɖ dōnñ v ɖ de,

 

            Ɖ de ɖt brñz s Frīdm’z rên.

              N on ɖt de me Erin wel

            Plej in ɖ cup ś lifts t Jô

              Wn grīf—ɖ meṃri v Parnel.

 

Mr. Hînz sat dǎn agn on ɖ tebl. Ẃn h hd finiśt hiz reṣteśn ɖr wz a sîḷns n ɖen a brst v clapñ: īvn Mr. Láynz clapt. Ɖ aplōz cntinyd fr a litl tîm. Ẃn it hd sīst ol ɖ ōditrz dranc fṛm ɖer botlz in sîḷns.

Poc! Ɖ corc flù ǎt v Mr. Hînz’ botl, bt Mr. Hînz rmend sitñ fluśt n bér-hedd on ɖ tebl. H dd nt sīm t hv hŕd ɖ invteśn.

“Gd man, Jo!” sd Mr. O’Conr, tecñ ǎt hiz siġrét peprz n pǎć ɖ betr t hîd hiz imośn.

“Ẃt d y ʈnc v ɖt, Croftn?” craid Mr. Hnći. “Z’nt ɖt fîn? Ẃt?”

Mr. Croftn sd ɖt it wz a vri fîn pìs v raitñ.

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