Fṛm Đ Gardịn: Leadership, Jim, but not as we know it with Captain Raab on bridge

John Crace
Jon Crês
Līdrśp, Jim, bt nt az w nǒ it wɖ Captin Rāb on brij

(Transcription of an article published in the Guardian on 7 April 2020)

Ɖ buc hz olwz stopt wɖ ɖ PM. Nǎ, wɖ Boris Jonsn il, it sīmz t stop nẃr

Jon Crês, Tyzde, 7 Epril 2020

Dominic Raab arrives at No 10 for a Covid-19 committee meeting on Tuesday. Photograph: Xinhua/Rex/Shutterstock
Doṃnic Rāb arîvz at Nu. 10 fr a Covid-19 cmitimītñ on Tyzde. Foṭgraf: Śinhua/Rex/Śuṭstoc

It’s nǎ ol dǎn t a matr v trust. Last Jūn, ɖ Cnsrvtiv parti dsîdd it dd’nt ret Doṃnic Rāb hîli inuf fr him t īvn mc ɖ last fîv v ɖ līdrśpcontest. Imajin ɖ hymilieśn v biyñ cnsidrd t hv les creḍbiḷti ɖn Mîcl Gov.

Yt nǎ, wɖ Boris Jonsn in intnsiv cer, Rāb z ɖ inṭrim līdr v ɖ cuntri at a tîm v naśnl imrjnsi. “Y’v got t asc yrslf wn qsćn. D I fīl luci? Wel, d y’, punc?” Ɖ ansr fr most v s z a rzǎndñ “no”. W d’nt fīl in ɖ slîtist bit luci, ʈanc y.

Nɖr, it sīmz, dz Rāb. Ɖ gap btwn vōltñ ambiśn n practicl riaḷti hz nvr sīmd so wîd. Ẃn h lcs in ɖ mirr, Dóm no longr siz ɖ dsîsiv man v ax́n h hz olwz imajind himslf t b. Rɖr h jst gezz at unsrtnti n heztnsi.

Ɖ crǎn weiz far mor heṿli ɖn h hd evr antiṣpetd. H c’nt īvn trust himslf ɖz dez. Ɖ de bfr, h hd insistd Boris wz on top form n runñ ɖ cuntri fṛm hiz hospitlbed. Jst ʈri aurz lêtr, w wr tld ɖ prîm ministr hd bn muvd t intnsiv cer.

It’s hard t cm bac fṛm ɖt. Îɖr ɖ foṛn secṛtri hd bn cept ǎt v ɖ lūp abt Boris’z stet v hlʈ or h hd laid t ɖ cuntri. Nɖr v ẃć wz a gd lc fr ɖ man huz prîm rsponsbiḷti wz t brñ a sns v ri’śuṛns n stbiḷti t a cuntri wurid abt ɖ hlʈ v its līdr.

Boris mt nt b evrwn’z îdīa v a naśnl Dadi, bt h’z ɖ onli Dadi w’v got n nwn wonts t lūz ɖer Dad. It’s az prîml n teṛfayñ az ɖt. Ɖ cuntri hz’nt flt ɖs añśs n unsetld in decedz.

Rāb dd’nt lc qt az sweti n eji on Tyzde az h hd ɖ de bfr: instd, ɖ panic rzîdd intîrli in hiz îz ɖt dartd ɖs we n ɖt, avôdñ d’rect contact wɖ evrwn. H startd bî gtñ t ɖ qsćn evrwn wontd ansrd. Ɖ prîm ministr hd bn stebl oṿnît, wz rsivñ ɖ bst cer n hd nīdd no invesiv vnṭleśn. Gd nyz.

“I’m confidnt h’l pl ʈru,” h sd. “H’z a fîtr.” Cy a c’lectiv gron v dsper. W wr bac in ɖ miʈoḷji v pluci Brits tecñ on ɖ Hun sngl-handd. Fîtñ ɖ c’roṇvîṛs on ɖ bīćz n in ɖ hejroz.

W’r nt in a wor. W’r in a pandemic. Ɖ tū ʈñz r toṭli difṛnt. N ɖ mni ʈǎzndz hu hv olrdi daid fṛm ɖ dziz dd nt d so bcz ɖe wr tù wìc or dd’nt fît hard inuf. Ɖe daid bcz ɖe wr tù il t liv n ɖr wz nʈñ ɖ doctrz cd d t sev ɖm.

Ɖ foṛn secṛtri wz no mor cnvinsñ on hu acć̣li wz runñ ɖ cuntri in Boris’z absns. “Guvnmnt hz olwz wrct on c’lectiv rsponsbiḷti,” h sd caẓ́li.

’r, yes. Xpt ɖ buc hz olwz stopt wɖ ɖ prîm ministr. Nǎ it sīmz ɖ buc stopt nẃr. Ol ɖt wz haṗnñ wz ɖt ɖ intîr cabiṇt wz gaɖ̇rñ rnd a cristl bōl, ẃl trayñ t ćanl ɖ inr spirit v Boris.

N ẃt wz cmñ bac wz prizyṃbli totl jiḅriś, az it’s bn wel dokmntd ɖt in ɖ wīc Boris wz in îṣleśn in Dǎnñ Strīt ɖ intîr cabiṇt wz sqoḅlñ lîc rats in a sác. Sm hv nvr īvn left ɖ sác. Dspt biyñ homsecṛtri, Priti Ptel hz nvr bn alaud enẃr nir a Nu. 10 presbrīfñ. Smōl mrsiz, I s’poz.

In ɖ mntm, ɖ Govstr dz’nt īvn trust Dóm t mc ɖ cofi at cabiṇtmītñz. God nz ẃt wd hapn f ɖr wz anɖr sirịs imrjnsi, sć az fludz or a terrist’tac. Ɖ intîr cabiṇt wd b brīfñ agnst ć uɖr, wɖ ć prsn hvñ a difṛnt îdīa v ẃt Boris wd riyli hv wontd. Prizyṃbli Mîci n Dóm hv olrdi arm-resld wn anɖr fr pześn v ɖ ńclir butn. It’s līdrśp, Jim, bt nt az w nǒ it.

Nr dd psistnt qsć̣nñ fṛm ɖ mīdia abt hu riyli wz in ćarj rzult in eni mor claṛti. Evrwn wz jst gtñ on n dwñ ẃt Boris wd hv wontd, īvn ɖo ɖ srcmstansz mt sins hv ćenjd.

Ol ɖt dd bcm clir wz ɖt Rāb’z îdīa v c’lectiv rsponsbiḷti wz evri man n wmn fr ɖmslvz. Asct abt ɖ guvnmnt’s cmitmnt t 100,000 tsts bî ɖ end v ɖ munʈ, Dóm caẓ́li ʈrù Mát Hancoc, ɖ hlʈsecṛtri, undr ɖ ẃīlz v a bus. Nʈñ t d wɖ m, Guv. Asc Tigr.

Ɖ onli prsn t riyli levl wɖ ɖ cuntri wz ɖ ćīf medicl ofisr fr Ñgḷnd, Cris Ẃiti. Ʈanc gdnis, h’z bac. Aftr ɖ ćīf sạntific advîzr Patric Vaḷns hd obzrvd ɖt ɖ YC’s deʈrets wr brōdli in lîn wɖ Iṭli, Spen n Frans, Ẃiti alon derd t coment on ẃ Jrṃni’s mt b so mć lowr.

Tstñ, tstñ, tstñ. Ɖ Jrmnz hd tecn ɖ c’roṇvîṛs mor sirịsli at a mć rlịr stej ɖn uɖr cuntriz n hd pland acordñli. Ɖ YC wz peyñ ɖ prîs fr its guvnmnt hvñ bn tù slo t act.

Ɖr wz wn adult in Dǎnñ Strīt, ɖen. Jst a śem h’z nt in ɖ cabiṇt. Stl, phps aftr Wenzde mornñ’z fanṭsi-ftbōl “Ẃt wd Boris d nxt?” cabiṇtmītñ, wn ministr wl b aveḷbl t tel s hu riyli z runñ ɖ cuntri ẃl ɖ prîm ministr rcuvrz in hospitl.

Instroduction to Ñspel

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