(Through the Looking-Glass – Chapter III: Looking-Glass Insects – by Lewis Carroll, transcribed into Ñspel, a new way of spelling devised by Frank Johnson. With audio accompaniment.)
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cors ɖ frst ʈñ t d wz t mc a grand srve v ɖ cuntri ś wz gwñ t travl ʈru. “It’s smʈñ vri lîc lrnñ jiogṛfi,” ʈt Alis, az ś std on tipto in hops v biyñ ebl t si a litl frɖr. “Prinsipl rivrz—ɖr r nn. Prinsipl mǎntnz—I’m on ɖ onli wn, bt I d’nt ʈnc it’s got eni nem. Prinsipl tǎnz—ẃ, ẃt r ɖoz crīćrz, mcñ huni dǎn ɖr? Ɖe c’nt b bìz—nbdi evr sw bìz a mîl of, y nǒ—” n fr sm tîm ś std sîḷnt, woćñ wn v ɖm ɖt wz buṣlñ abt amñ ɖ flǎrz, pǒcñ its pṛbosis intu ɖm, “jst az f it wz a reğlr bì,” ʈt Alis.
Hvr, ɖs wz enʈñ bt a reğlr bì: in fact it wz an elifnt—az Alis sn faund ǎt, ɖo ɖ îdīa qt tc hr breʈ awe at frst. “N ẃt inorṃs flǎrz ɖe mst b!” wz hr nxt îdīa. “Smʈñ lîc coṭjz wɖ ɖ rūfs tecn of, n stōcz pt t ɖm—n ẃt qonttiz v huni ɖe mst mc! I ʈnc I’l g dǎn n—no, I w’nt jst yt,” ś wnt on, ćecñ hrslf jst az ś wz bginñ t run dǎn ɖ hil, n trayñ t fînd sm xks fr trnñ śî so sudnli. “It’l nvr d t g dǎn amñ ɖm wɖt a gd loñ branć t bruś ɖm awe—n ẃt fun it’l b ẃn ɖe asc m hǎ I lîc mî wōc. I śl se—‘Ǒ, I lîc it wel inuf—’” (hir cem ɖ feṿrit litl tos v ɖ hed), “‘onli it wz so dusti n hot, n ɖ elifnts dd tīz so!”““I ʈnc I’l g dǎn ɖ uɖr we,” ś sd aftr a pōz: “n phps I me vizit ɖ elifnts lêtr on. Bsdz, I d so wont t gt intu ɖ Ʈrd Sqer!”
So wɖ ɖs xks ś ran dǎn ɖ hil n jumt ovr ɖ frst v ɖ six litl brŭcs.
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“Ticits, plīz!” sd ɖ Gard, ptñ hiz hed in at ɖ windo. In a momnt evrbdi wz holdñ ǎt a ticit: ɖe wr abt ɖ sem sîz az ɖ ppl, n qt sīmd t fil ɖ carij.
“Nǎ ɖen! Śo yr ticit, ćîld!” ɖ Gard wnt on, lcñ angṛli at Alis. N a gret mni vôsz ol sd tgɖr (“lîc ɖ cōṛs v a soñ,” ʈt Alis), “D’nt cīp him wêtñ, ćîld! Ẃ, hiz tîm z wrʈ a ʈǎznd pǎndz a minit!”
“I’m afreid I hv’nt got wn,” Alis sd in a frîtnd ton: “ɖr wz’nt a ticit-ofis ẃr I cem fṛm.” N agn ɖ cōṛs v vôsz wnt on. “Ɖr wz’nt rūm fr wn ẃr ś cem fṛm. Ɖ land ɖr z wrʈ a ʈǎznd pǎndz an inć!”
“D’nt mc xksz,” sd ɖ Gard: “y śd hv bòt wn fṛm ɖ enjindrîvr.” N wns mor ɖ cōṛs v vôsz wnt on wɖ “Ɖ man ɖt drîvz ɖ enjin. Ẃ, ɖ smoc alon z wrʈ a ʈǎznd pǎndz a puf!”
Alis ʈt t hrslf, “Ɖen ɖr’z no ys in spīcñ.” Ɖ vôsz dd’nt jôn in ɖs tîm, az ś hd’nt spocn, bt t hr gret s’prîz, ɖe ol ʈt in cōṛs (I hop y unḍstand ẃt ʈncñ in cōṛs mīnz—fr I mst cnfes ɖt I d’nt), “Betr se nʈñ at ol. Lanḡj z wrʈ a ʈǎznd pǎndz a wrd!”
“I śl drīm abt a ʈǎznd pǎndz tnît, I nǒ I śl!” ʈt Alis.
Ol ɖs tîm ɖ Gard wz lcñ at hr, frst ʈru a teḷscop, ɖen ʈru a mîcṛscop, n ɖen ʈru an oṗṛglas. At last h sd, “Y’r traṿlñ ɖ roñ we,” n śut p ɖ windo n wnt awe.
“So yuñ a ćîld,” sd ɖ jntlmn sitñ oṗzit t hr (h wz drest in ẃît pepr), “òt t nǒ ẃć we ś’z gwñ, īvn f ś dz’nt nǒ hr ǒn nem!”
A Gǒt, ɖt wz sitñ nxt t ɖ jntlmn in ẃît, śut hiz îz n sd in a lǎd vôs, “Ś òt t nǒ hr we t ɖ ticit-ofis, īvn f ś dz’nt nǒ hr alf̣bét!”
Ɖr wz a Bītl sitñ nxt t ɖ Gǒt (it wz a vri qir carijfl v paṣnjrz oltgɖr), n, az ɖ rūl sīmd t b ɖt ɖe śd ol spīc in trn, h wnt on wɖ “Ś’l hv t g bac fṛm hir az lugij!”
Alis cd’nt si hu wz sitñ bynd ɖ Bītl, bt a hōrs vôs spouc nxt. “Ćenj enjinz—” it sd, n wz oblîjd t līv of.
“It sǎndz lîc a hors,” Alis ʈt t hrslf. N an xtrimli smōl vôs, clos t hr ir, sd, “Y mt mc a joc on ɖt—smʈñ abt ‘hors’ n ‘hōrs,’ y nǒ.”
Ɖen a vri jntl vôs in ɖ distns sd, “Ś mst b lebld “Las, wɖ cer,” y nǒ—”
N aftr ɖt uɖr vôsz wnt on (“Ẃt a numbr v ppl ɖr r in ɖ carij!” ʈt Alis), seyñ, “Ś mst g bî post, az ś’z got a hed on hr—” “Ś mst b snt az a mesij bî ɖ teḷgraf—” “Ś mst drw ɖ tren hrslf ɖ rest v ɖ we—” n so on.
Bt ɖ jntlmn drest in ẃît pepr līnd fwdz n ẃisprd in hr ir, “Nvr mînd ẃt ɖe ol se, mî dir, bt tec a rtrnticit evri tîm ɖ tren stops.”
“Indd I ś’nt!” Alis sd rɖr impeśntli. “I d’nt b’loñ t ɖs relwe jrni at ol—I wz in a wŭd jst nǎ—n I wś I cd gt bac ɖr.”
“Y mt mc a joc on ɖt,” sd ɖ litl vôs clos t hr ir: “smʈñ abt ‘y wd f y cd,’ y nǒ.”
“D’nt tīz so,” sd Alis, lcñ abt in ven t si ẃr ɖ vôs cem fṛm; “f y’r so añśs t hv a joc md, ẃ d’nt y mc wn yrslf?”
Ɖ litl vôs said dīpli: it wz vri unhapi, evidntli, n Alis wd hv sd smʈñ pitiyñ t cumf̣t it, “F it wd onli sai lîc uɖr ppl!” ś ʈt. Bt ɖs wz sć a wundrf̣li smōl sai, ɖt ś wd’nt hv hŕd it at ol, f it hd’nt cm qt clos t hr ir. Ɖ consiqns v ɖs wz ɖt it ticld hr ir vri mć, n qt tc of hr ʈts fṛm ɖ unhapinis v ɖ pur litl crīćr.
“I nǒ y r a frend,” ɖ litl vôs wnt on; “a dir frend, n an old frend. N y w’nt hrt m, ɖo I am an insect.”
“Ẃt cnd v insect?” Alis inqîrd a litl añśsli. Ẃt ś riyli wontd t nǒ wz, ẃɖr it cd stñ or nt, bt ś ʈt ɖs wd’nt b qt a sivl qsćn t asc.
“Ẃt, ɖen y d’nt—” ɖ litl vôs bgan, ẃn it wz drǎnd bî a śril scrīm fṛm ɖ enjin, n evrbdi jumt p in alarm, Alis amñ ɖ rest.
Ɖ Hors, hu hd pt hiz hed ǎt v ɖ windo, qaytli drù it in n sd, “It’s onli a brŭc w hv t jump ovr.” Evrbdi sīmd saṭsfaid wɖ ɖs, ɖo Alis flt a litl nrṿs at ɖ îdīa v trenz jumpñ at ol. “Hvr, it’l tec s intu ɖ Forʈ Sqer, ɖt’s sm cumf̣t!” ś sd t hrslf. In anɖr momnt ś flt ɖ carij rîz stret p intu ɖ er, n in hr frît ś còt at ɖ ʈñ nirist t hr hand, ẃć hapnd t b ɖ Gǒt’s bird.
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Bt ɖ bird sīmd t mlt awe az ś tućt it, n ś faund hrslf sitñ qaytli undr a tri—ẃl ɖ Nat (fr ɖt wz ɖ insect ś hd bn tōcñ t) wz baḷnsñ itslf on a twig jst ovr hr hed, n fanñ hr wɖ its wñz.
It srtnli wz a vri larj Nat: “abt ɖ sîz v a ćicn,” Alis ʈt. Stl, ś cd’nt fīl nrṿs wɖ it, aftr ɖe hd bn tōcñ tgɖr so loñ.
“—ɖen y d’nt lîc ol insects?” ɖ Nat wnt on, az qaytli az f nʈñ hd hapnd.
“I lîc ɖm ẃn ɖe cn tōc,” Alis sd. “Nn v ɖm evr tōc, ẃr I cm fṛm.”
“Ẃt sort v insects d y rjôs in, ẃr y cm fṛm?” ɖ Nat inqîrd.
“I d’nt rjôs in insects at ol,” Alis xplend, “bcz I’m rɖr afreid v ɖm—at līst ɖ larj cndz. Bt I cn tel y ɖ nemz v sm v ɖm.”
“V cors ɖe ansr t ɖer nemz?” ɖ Nat rmarct cerlisli.
“I nvr ń ɖm t d it.”
“Ẃt’s ɖ ys v ɖer hvñ nemz,” ɖ Nat sd, “f ɖe w’nt ansr t ɖm?”
“No ys t ɖm,” sd Alis; “bt it’s ysfl t ɖ ppl hu nem ɖm, I s’poz. F nt, ẃ d ʈñz hv nemz at ol?”
“I c’nt se,” ɖ Nat rplaid. “Frɖr on, in ɖ wŭd dǎn ɖr, ɖ’v got no nemz—hvr, g on wɖ yr list v insects: y’r westñ tîm.”
“Wel, ɖr’z ɖ Horsflî,” Alis bgan, cǎntñ of ɖ nemz on hr fngrz.
“Ol rît,” sd ɖ Nat: “haf we p ɖt bś, y’l si a Rocñhors Flî, f y lc. It’s md intîrli v wŭd, n gts abt bî swññ itslf fṛm branć t branć.”
“Ẃt dz it liv on?” Alis asct, wɖ gret krioṣti.
“Sap n swdust,” sd ɖ Nat. “G on wɖ ɖ list.”
Alis lct p at ɖ Rocñhors Flî wɖ gret inṭrest, n md p hr mînd ɖt it mst hv bn jst rīpentd, it lct so brît n stici; n ɖen ś wnt on.
“N ɖr’z ɖ Dragnflî.”
“Lc on ɖ branć abv yr hed,” sd ɖ Nat, “n ɖr y’l fînd a Snapdragn Flî. Its bodi z md v plum pdñ, its wñz v hólilīvz, n its hed z a rezn brnñ in brandi.”
“N ẃt dz it liv on?”
“Frumnti n mins pî,” ɖ Nat rplaid; “n it mcs its nst in a Crisṃs box.”
“N ɖen ɖr’z ɖ Buṭflî,” Alis wnt on, aftr ś hd tecn a gd lc at ɖ insect wɖ its hed on fîr, n hd ʈt t hrslf, “I wundr f ɖt’s ɖ rīzn insects r so fond v flayñ intu candlz—bcz ɖe wont t trn intu Snapdragn Flîz!”
“Crōlñ at yr fīt,” sd ɖ Nat (Alis drù hr fīt bac in sm alarm), “y me obzrv a Bred-n-Butr Flî. Its wñz r ʈin slîsz v bred n butr, its bodi z a crust, n its hed z a lump v śŭgr.”
“N ẃt dz it liv on?”
“Wìc ti wɖ crīm in it.”
A ny dificlti cem intu Alis’z hed. “S’pozñ it cd’nt fînd eni?” ś sjstd.
“Ɖen it wd dî, v cors.”
“Bt ɖt mst hapn vri ofn,” Alis rmarct ʈtf̣li.
“It olwz hapnz,” sd ɖ Nat.
Aftr ɖs, Alis wz sîḷnt fr a minit or tū, ponḍrñ. Ɖ Nat aḿzd itslf mnẃl bî humñ rnd n rnd hr hed: at last it setld agn n rmarct, “I s’poz y d’nt wont t lūz yr nem?”
“No, indd,” Alis sd, a litl añśsli.
“N yt I d’nt nǒ,” ɖ Nat wnt on in a cerlis ton: “onli ʈnc hǎ cnvińnt it wd b f y cd manij t g hom wɖt it! Fr instns, f ɖ guṿnes wontd t cōl y t yr lésnz, ś wd cōl ǎt “cm hir—,” n ɖr ś wd hv t līv of, bcz ɖr wd’nt b eni nem fr hr t cōl, n v cors y wd’nt hv t g, y nǒ.”
“Ɖt wd nvr d, I’m śr,” sd Alis: “ɖ guṿnes wd nvr ʈnc v xkzñ m lésnz fr ɖt. F ś cd’nt rmembr mî nem, ś’d cōl m “Mis!” az ɖ srvnts d.”
“Wel, f ś sd ‘Mis,’ n dd’nt se enʈñ mor,” ɖ Nat rmarct, “v cors y’d mis yr lésnz. Ɖt’s a joc. I wś y hd md it.”
“Ẃ d y wś I hd md it?” Alis asct. “It’s a vri bad wn.”
Bt ɖ Nat onli said dīpli, ẃl tū larj tirz cem rolñ dǎn its ćīcs.
“Y śd’nt mc jocs,” Alis sd, “f it mcs y so unhapi.”
Ɖen cem anɖr v ɖoz meḷnc̣li litl saiz, n ɖs tîm ɖ pur Nat riyli sīmd t hv said itslf awe, fr, ẃn Alis lct p, ɖr wz nʈñ ẃtvr t b sìn on ɖ twig, n, az ś wz gtñ qt ćili wɖ sitñ stil so loñ, ś got p n wōct on.
Ś vri sn cem t an opn fīld, wɖ a wŭd on ɖ uɖr sîd v it: it lct mć darcr ɖn ɖ last wŭd, n Alis flt a litl timid abt gwñ intu it. Hvr, on secnd ʈts, ś md p hr mînd t g on: “fr I srtnli w’nt g bac,” ś ʈt t hrslf, n ɖs wz ɖ onli we t ɖ Etʈ Sqer.
“Ɖs mst b ɖ wŭd,” ś sd ʈtf̣li t hrslf, “ẃr ʈñz hv no nemz. I wundr ẃt’l bcm v mî nem ẃn I g in? I śd’nt lîc t lūz it at ol—bcz ɖ’d hv t gv m anɖr, n it wd b olmst srtn t b an ugli wn. Bt ɖen ɖ fun wd b trayñ t fînd ɖ crīćr ɖt hd got mî old nem! Ɖt’s jst lîc ɖ advrtzmnts, y nǒ, ẃn ppl lūz dogz—‘ansrz t ɖ nem v “Daś:” hd on a bras colr’—jst fansi cōlñ evrʈñ y met ‘Alis,’ tl wn v ɖm ansrd! Onli ɖe wd’nt ansr at ol, f ɖe wr wîz.”
Ś wz ramḅlñ on in ɖs we ẃn ś rīćt ɖ wŭd: it lct vri cūl n śêdi. “Wel, at eni ret it’s a gret cumf̣t,” ś sd az ś stept undr ɖ triz, “aftr biyñ so hot, t gt intu ɖ—intu ẃt?” ś wnt on, rɖr s’prîzd at nt biyñ ebl t ʈnc v ɖ wrd. “I mīn t gt undr ɖ—undr ɖ—undr ɖs, y nǒ!” ptñ hr hand on ɖ trunc v ɖ tri. “Ẃt dz it cōl itslf, I wundr? I d b’liv it’s got no nem—ẃ, t b śr it hz’nt!”
Ś std sîḷnt fr a minit, ʈncñ: ɖen ś sudnli bgan agn. “Ɖen it riyli hz hapnd, aftr ol! N nǎ, hu am I? I wl rmembr, f I cn! I’m dtrmind t d it!” Bt biyñ dtrmind dd’nt hlp mć, n ol ś cd se, aftr a gret dīl v puẓlñ, wz, “L, I nǒ it bginz wɖ L!”
Jst ɖen a Fōn cem wonḍrñ bî: it lct at Alis wɖ its larj jntl îz, bt dd’nt sīm at ol frîtnd. “Hir ɖen! Hir ɖen!” Alis sd, az ś hld ǎt hr hand n traid t stroc it; bt it onli startd bac a litl, n ɖen std lcñ at hr agn.
“Ẃt d y cōl yrslf?” ɖ Fōn sd at last. Sć a soft swīt vôs it hd!
“I wś I ń!” ʈt pur Alis. Ś ansrd, rɖr sadli, “Nʈñ, jst nǎ.”
“Ʈnc agn,” it sd: “ɖt w’nt d.”
Alis ʈt, bt nʈñ cem v it. “Plīz, wd y tel m ẃt y cōl yrslf?” ś sd timidli. “I ʈnc ɖt mt hlp a litl.”
“I’l tel y, f y’l muv a litl frɖr on,” ɖ Fōn sd. “I c’nt rmembr hir.”
So ɖe wōct on tgɖr ʈru ɖ wŭd, Alis wɖ hr armz claspt luvñli rnd ɖ soft nec v ɖ Fōn, tl ɖe cem ǎt intu anɖr opn fīld, n hir ɖ Fōn gev a sudn bǎnd intu ɖ er, n śc itslf fri fṛm Alis’z armz. “I’m a Fōn!” it craid ǎt in a vôs v dlît, “n, dir m! y’r a hymn ćîld!” A sudn lc v alarm cem intu its bytifl brǎn îz, n in anɖr momnt it hd dartd awe at fl spīd.
Alis std lcñ aftr it, olmst redi t crî wɖ vxeśn at hvñ lost hr dir litl felotravlr so sudnli. “Hvr, I nǒ mî nem nǎ.” ś sd, “ɖt’s sm cumf̣t. Alis—Alis—I w’nt fget it agn. N nǎ, ẃć v ɖz fngrposts òt I t folo, I wundr?”
It wz nt a vri dificlt qsćn t ansr, az ɖr wz onli wn rod ʈru ɖ wŭd, n ɖ tū fngrposts bʈ pôntd alñ it. “I’l setl it,” Alis sd t hrslf, “ẃn ɖ rod dvîdz n ɖe pônt difṛnt wez.”
Bt ɖs dd nt sīm lîcli t hapn. Ś wnt on n on, a loñ we, bt ẃrvr ɖ rod dvîdd ɖr wr śr t b tū fngrposts pôntñ ɖ sem we, wn marct “TU TWĪDLDÚM’Z HǍS” n ɖ uɖr “TU Ɖ HǍS V TWĪDLDĪ.”
“I d b’liv,” sd Alis at last, “ɖt ɖe liv in ɖ sem hǎs! I wundr I nvr ʈt v ɖt bfr—Bt I c’nt ste ɖr loñ. I’l jst cōl n se ‘hǎ d’y d?’ n asc ɖm ɖ we ǎt v ɖ wŭd. F I cd onli gt t ɖ Etʈ Sqer bfr it gts darc!” So ś wondrd on, tōcñ t hrslf az ś wnt, tl, on trnñ a śarp cornr, ś cem upn tū fat litl men, so sudnli ɖt ś cd nt hlp startñ bac, bt in anɖr momnt ś rcuvrd hrslf, fīlñ śr ɖt ɖe mst b…