(Through the Looking-Glass – Chapter IV: Tweedledum and Tweedledee – by Lewis Carroll, transcribed into Ñspel, a new way of spelling devised by Frank Johnson. With audio accompaniment.)
Ɖ
e wr standñ undr a tri, ć wɖ an arm rnd ɖ uɖr’z nec, n Alis ń ẃć wz ẃć in a momnt, bcz wn v ɖm hd “DÚM” imbrôdrd on hiz colr, n ɖ uɖr “DI.” “I s’poz ɖ’v ć got “TWĪDL” rnd at ɖ bac v ɖ colr,” ś sd t hrslf.
Ɖe std so stil ɖt ś qt fgot ɖe wr alîv, n ś wz jst lcñ rnd t si f ɖ wrd “TWĪDL” wz ritn at ɖ bac v ć colr, ẃn ś wz startld bî a vôs cmñ fṛm ɖ wn marct “DÚM.”
“F y ʈnc w’r waxwrcs,” h sd, “y òt t pe, y nǒ. Waxwrcs wr’nt md t b lct at fr nʈñ, nohǎ!”
“Cntrẹriwîz,” add ɖ wn marct “DI,” “f y ʈnc w’r alîv, y òt t spīc.”
“I’m śr I’m vri sori,” wz ol Alis cd se; fr ɖ wrdz v ɖ old soñ cept rññ ʈru hr hed lîc ɖ ticñ v a cloc, n ś cd hardli hlp seyñ ɖm ǎt lǎd:—
“Twīdldúm n Twīdldī
Agrìd t hv a batl;
Fr Twīdldúm sd Twīdldī
Hd spôld hiz nîs ny ratl.
Jst ɖen flù dǎn a monstṛs cro,
Az blac az a tarbaṛl;
Ẃć frîtnd bʈ ɖ hiroz so,
Ɖe qt fgot ɖer qoṛl.”
“I nǒ ẃt y’r ʈncñ abt,” sd Twīdldúm: “bt it z’nt so, nohǎ.”
“Cntrẹriwîz,” cntinyd Twīdldī, “f it wz so, it mt b; n f it wr so, it wd b; bt az it z’nt, it e’nt. Ɖt’s lojic.”
“I wz ʈncñ,” Alis sd vri p’lîtli, “ẃć z ɖ bst we ǎt v ɖs wŭd: it’s gtñ so darc. Wd y tel m, plīz?”
Bt ɖ litl men onli lct at ć uɖr n grind.
Ɖe lct so xacli lîc a cupl v gret scūlbôz, ɖt Alis cd’nt hlp pôntñ hr fngr at Twīdldúm, n seyñ “Frst Bô!”
“Nohǎ!” Twīdldúm craid ǎt briscli, n śut hiz mǎʈ p agn wɖ a snap.
“Nxt Bô!” sd Alis, pasñ on t Twīdldī, ɖo ś flt qt srtn h wd onli śǎt ǎt “Cntrẹriwîz!” n so h dd.
“Y’v bn roñ!” craid Twīdldúm. “Ɖ frst ʈñ in a vizit z t se ‘Hǎ d’yi d?’ n śec handz!” N hir ɖ tū bruɖrz gev ć uɖr a hug, n ɖen ɖe hld ǎt ɖ tū handz ɖt wr fri, t śec handz wɖ hr.
Alis dd nt lîc śecñ handz wɖ îɖr v ɖm frst, fr fir v hrtñ ɖ uɖr wn’z fīlñz; so, az ɖ bst we ǎt v ɖ dificlti, ś tc hold v bʈ handz at wns: ɖ nxt momnt ɖe wr dansñ rnd in a rñ. Ɖs sīmd qt naćṛl (ś rmembrd aftwdz), n ś wz nt īvn s’prîzd t hír ḿzic pleyñ: it sīmd t cm fṛm ɖ tri undr ẃć ɖe wr dansñ, n it wz dn (az wel az ś cd mc it ǎt) bî ɖ branćz rubñ wn acrs ɖ uɖr, lîc fidlz n fidlstics.
“Bt it srtnli wz funi,” (Alis sd aftwdz, ẃn ś wz telñ hr sistr ɖ hisṭri v ol ɖs,) “t fînd mslf sññ “Hir w g rnd ɖ mulḅri bś.” I d’nt nǒ ẃn I bgan it, bt smhǎ I flt az f I’d bn sññ it a loñ loñ tîm!”
Ɖ uɖr tū dansrz wr fat, n vri sn ǎt v breʈ. “For tîmz rnd z inuf fr wn dans,” Twīdldúm pantd ǎt, n ɖe left of dansñ az sudnli az ɖe hd bgun: ɖ ḿzic stopt at ɖ sem momnt.
Ɖen ɖe let g v Alis’z handz, n std lcñ at hr fr a minit: ɖr wz a rɖr ōcẉd pōz, az Alis dd’nt nǒ hǎ t bgin a convseśn wɖ ppl ś hd jst bn dansñ wɖ. “It wd nvr d t se ‘Hǎ d’yi d?’ nǎ,” ś sd t hrslf: “w sīm t hv got bynd ɖt, smhǎ!”
“I hop y’r nt mć tîrd?” ś sd at last.
“Nohǎ. N ʈanc y vri mć fr ascñ,” sd Twīdldúm.
“So mć oblîjd!” add Twīdldī. “Y lîc powtri?”
“Ye…s, priti wel—sm powtri,” Alis sd dǎtf̣li. “Wd y tel m ẃć rod līdz ǎt v ɖ wŭd?”
“Ẃt śl I rpit t hr?” sd Twīdldī, lcñ rnd at Twīdldúm wɖ gret soḷm îz, n nt noṭsñ Alis’z qsćn.
“‘Ɖ Wōlṛs n ɖ Carpintr’ z ɖ longist,” Twīdldúm rplaid, gvñ hiz bruɖr an afx́ṇt hug.
Twīdldī bgan instntli:
“Ɖ sún wz śînñ—”
Hir Alis vnćrd t inṭrupt him. “F it’s vri loñ,” ś sd, az p’lîtli az ś cd, “wd y plīz tel m frst ẃć rod—”
Twīdldī smîld jntli, n bgan agn:
Ɖ sún wz śînñ on ɖ sì,
Śînñ wɖ ol hiz mît:
H dd hiz vri bst t mc
Ɖ biloz smuɖ n brît—
N ɖs wz od, bcz it wz
Ɖ midl v ɖ nît.
Ɖ mūn wz śînñ sulc̣li,
Bcz ś ʈt ɖ sún
Hd got no biznis t b ɖr
Aftr ɖ de wz dn—
“It’s vri rūd v him,” ś sd,
“T cm n spôl ɖ fun!”
Ɖ sì wz wet az wet cd b,
Ɖ sandz wr drî az drî.
Y cd nt si a clǎd, bcz
No clǎd wz in ɖ scî:
No brdz wr flayñ ovrhed—
Ɖr wr no brdz t flî.
Ɖ Wōlṛs n ɖ Carpintr
Wr wōcñ clos at hand;
Ɖe wept lîc enʈñ t si
Sć qonttiz v sand:
“F ɖs wr onli clird awe,”
Ɖe sd, “it wd b grand!”
“F sevn meidz wɖ sevn mops
Swept it fr haf a yir,
D y s’poz,” ɖ Wōlṛs sd,
“Ɖt ɖe cd gt it clir?”
“I dǎt it,” sd ɖ Carpintr,
N śed a bitr ter.
“O Ôstrz, cm n wōc wɖ s!”
Ɖ Wōlṛs dd bsić.
“A pleznt wōc, a pleznt tōc,
Alñ ɖ brîni bīć:
W canot d wɖ mor ɖn for,
T gv a hand t ć.”
Ɖ eldist Ôstr lct at him.
Bt nvr a wrd h sd:
Ɖ eldist Ôstr wnct hiz î,
N śc hiz hevi hed—
Mīnñ t se h dd nt ćūz
T līv ɖ ôstrbed.
Bt for yuñ ôstrz hurid p,
Ol īgr fr ɖ trīt:
Ɖer cots wr bruśt, ɖer fesz wośt,
Ɖer śuz wr clīn n nīt—
N ɖs wz od, bcz, y nǒ,
Ɖe hd’nt eni fīt.
For uɖr Ôstrz foloud ɖm,
N yt anɖr for;
N ʈic n fast ɖe cem at last,
N mor, n mor, n mor—
Ol hópñ ʈru ɖ froʈi wevz,
N scramḅlñ t ɖ śor.
Ɖ Wōlṛs n ɖ Carpintr
Wōct on a mîl or so,
N ɖen ɖe restd on a roc
Cnvińntli lo:
N ol ɖ litl Ôstrz std
N wêtd in a ro.
“Ɖ tîm hz cm,” ɖ Wōlṛs sd,
“T tōc v mni ʈñz:
V śuz—n śips—n sìlñwax—
V caḅjz—n cñz—
N ẃ ɖ sì z bôlñ hot—
N ẃɖr pigz hv wñz.”
“Bt wêt a bit,” ɖ Ôstrz craid,
“Bfr w hv ǎr ćat;
Fr sm v s r ǎt v breʈ,
N ol v s r fat!”
“No huri!” sd ɖ Carpintr.
Ɖe ʈanct him mć fr ɖt.
“A lof v bred,” ɖ Wōlṛs sd,
“Z ẃt w ćīfli nīd:
Pépr n viṇgr bsdz
R vri gd indd—
Nǎ f y’r redi, Ôstrz dir,
W cn bgin t fīd.”
“Bt nt on s!” ɖ Ôstrz craid,
Trnñ a litl blu,
“Aftr sć cîndnis, ɖt wd b
A dizṃl ʈñ t d!”
“Ɖ nît z fîn,” ɖ Wōlṛs sd
“D y admîr ɖ vy?
“It wz so cnd v y t cm!
N y r vri nîs!”
Ɖ Carpintr sd nʈñ bt
“Cut s anɖr slîs:
I wś y wr nt qt so def—
I’v hd t asc y twîs!”
“It sīmz a śem,” ɖ Wōlṛs sd,
“T ple ɖm sć a tric,
Aftr w’v bròt ɖm ǎt so far,
N md ɖm trot so qc!”
Ɖ Carpintr sd nʈñ bt
“Ɖ butr’z spred tù ʈic!”
“I wīp fr y,” ɖ Wōlṛs sd.
“I dīpli simṗʈîz.”
Wɖ sobz n tirz h sortd ǎt
Ɖoz v ɖ larjist sîz.
Holdñ hiz pocit hanc̣ćif
Bfr hiz strīmñ îz.
“O Ôstrz,” sd ɖ Carpintr.
“Y’v hd a pleznt run!
Śl w b trotñ hom agn?”
Bt ansr cem ɖr nn—
N ɖt wz scersli od, bcz
Ɖ’d ītn evri wn.
“I lîc ɖ Wōlṛs bst,” sd Alis: “bcz y si h wz a litl sori fr ɖ pur ôstrz.”
“H ét mor ɖn ɖ Carpintr, ɖo,” sd Twīdldī. “Y si h hld hiz hanc̣ćif in frunt, so ɖt ɖ Carpintr cd’nt cǎnt hǎ mni h tc: cntrẹriwîz.”
“Ɖt wz mīn!” Alis sd indignntli. “Ɖen I lîc ɖ Carpintr bst—f h dd’nt īt so mni az ɖ Wōlṛs.”
“Bt h ét az mni az h cd gt,” sd Twīdldúm.
Ɖs wz a puzlr. Aftr a pōz, Alis bgan, “Wel! Ɖe wr bʈ vri unpleznt caṛctrz—” Hir ś ćect hrslf in sm alarm, at hírñ smʈñ ɖt sǎndd t hr lîc ɖ pufñ v a larj stīm-enjin in ɖ wŭd nir ɖm, ɖo ś fird it wz mor lîcli t b a wîld bīst. “R ɖr eni laynz or tîgrz abt hir?” ś asct timidli.
“It’s onli ɖ Red Cñ snorñ,” sd Twīdldī.
“Cm n lc at him!” ɖ bruɖrz craid, n ɖe ć tc wn v Alis’z handz, n léd hr p t ẃr ɖ Cñ wz slīpñ.
“Z’nt h a luvli sît?” sd Twīdldúm.
Alis cd’nt se oṇstli ɖt h wz. H hd a tōl red nîtcap on, wɖ a tasl, n h wz layñ crumpld p intu a sort v untîdi hīp, n snorñ lǎd—“fit t snor hiz hed of!” az Twīdldúm rmarct.
“I’m afreid h’l cać cold wɖ layñ on ɖ damp gras,” sd Alis, hu wz a vri ʈtfl litl grl.
“H’z drīmñ nǎ,” sd Twīdldī: “n ẃt d y ʈnc h’z drīmñ abt?”
Alis sd “Nbdi cn ges ɖt.”
“Ẃ, abt y!” Twīdldī xclemd, clapñ hiz handz trîumfntli. “N f h left of drīmñ abt y, ẃr d y s’poz y’d b?”
“Ẃr I am nǎ, v cors,” sd Alis.
“Nt y!” Twīdldī rtortd cntmć̣sli. “Y’d b nẃr. Ẃ, y’r onli a sort v ʈñ in hiz drīm!”
“F ɖt ɖr Cñ wz t wec,” add Twīdldúm, “y’d g ǎt—bañ!—jst lîc a candl!”
“I śd’nt!” Alis xclemd indignntli. “Bsdz, f I’m onli a sort v ʈñ in hiz drīm, ẃt r y, I śd lîc t nǒ?”
“Dito” sd Twīdldúm.
“Dito, dito” craid Twīdldī.
H śǎtd ɖs so lǎd ɖt Alis cd’nt hlp seyñ, “Huś! Y’l b wecñ him, I’m afreid, f y mc so mć nôz.”
“Wel, it’s no ys yr tōcñ abt wecñ him,” sd Twīdldúm, “ẃn y’r onli wn v ɖ ʈñz in hiz drīm. Y nǒ vri wel y’r nt riyl.”
“I am riyl!” sd Alis n bgan t crî.
“Y w’nt mc yrslf a bit riylr bî crayñ,” Twīdldī rmarct: “ɖr’z nʈñ t crî abt.”
“F I wz’nt riyl,” Alis sd—haf-lafñ ʈru hr tirz, it ol sīmd so r’dikyḷs—“I śd’nt b ebl t crî.”
“I hop y d’nt s’poz ɖoz r riyl tirz?” Twīdldúm inṭruptd in a ton v gret cntmt.
“I nǒ ɖ’r tōcñ nonsns,” Alis ʈt t hrslf: “n it’s fūliś t crî abt it.” So ś bruśt awe hr tirz, n wnt on az ćirf̣li az ś cd. “At eni ret I’d betr b gtñ ǎt v ɖ wŭd, fr riyli it’s cmñ on vri darc. D y ʈnc it’s gwñ t ren?”
Twīdldúm spred a larj umbrela ovr himslf n hiz bruɖr, n lct p intu it. “No, I d’nt ʈnc it z,” h sd: “at līst—nt undr hir. Nohǎ.”
“Bt it me ren ǎtsd?”
“It me—f it ćuzz,” sd Twīdldī: “w’v no objx́n. Cntrẹriwîz.”
“Slfiś ʈñz!” ʈt Alis, n ś wz jst gwñ t se “Gdnît” n līv ɖm, ẃn Twīdldúm sprañ ǎt fṛm undr ɖ umbrela n sizd hr bî ɖ rist.
“D y si ɖt?” h sd, in a vôs ćocñ wɖ paśn, n hiz îz grù larj n yelo ol in a momnt, az h pôntd wɖ a tremḅlñ fngr at a smōl ẃît ʈñ layñ undr ɖ tri.
“It’s onli a ratl,” Alis sd, aftr a cerfl xaṃneśn v ɖ litl ẃît ʈñ. “Nt a ratlsnec, y nǒ,” ś add hesṭli, ʈncñ ɖt h wz frîtnd: “onli an old ratl—qt old n brocn.”
“I ń it wz!” craid Twīdldúm, bginñ t stamp abt wîldli n ter hiz her. “It’s spôlt, v cors!” Hir h lct at Twīdldī, hu imīɉtli sat dǎn on ɖ grǎnd, n traid t hîd himslf undr ɖ umbrela.
Alis leid hr hand upn hiz arm, n sd in a suɖñ ton, “Y nīd’nt b so angri abt an old ratl.”
“Bt it z’nt old!” Twīdldúm craid, in a gretr fyri ɖn evr. “It’s ny, I tel y—I bòt it yesṭde—mî nîs ny RATL!” n hiz vôs rouz t a prfict scrīm.
Ol ɖs tîm Twīdldī wz trayñ hiz bst t fold p ɖ umbrela, wɖ himslf in it: ẃć wz sć an xtrordnri ʈñ t d, ɖt it qt tc of Alis’z atnśn fṛm ɖ angri bruɖr. Bt h cd’nt qt s’xid, n it endd in hiz rolñ ovr, bundld p in ɖ umbrela, wɖ onli hiz hed ǎt: n ɖr h le, oṗnñ n śutñ hiz mǎʈ n hiz larj îz—“lcñ mor lîc a fiś ɖn enʈñ els,” Alis ʈt.
“V cors y agri t hv a batl?” Twīdldúm sd in a cāmr ton.
“I s’poz so,” ɖ uɖr sulc̣li rplaid, az h crōld ǎt v ɖ umbrela: “onli ś mst hlp s t dres p, y nǒ.”
So ɖ tū bruɖrz wnt of hand-in-hand intu ɖ wŭd, n rtrnd in a minit wɖ ɖer armz fl v ʈñz—sć az bolstrz, blancits, harʈrugz, teblcloʈs, diścuvrz n colscutlz. “I hop y’r a gd hand at pinñ n tayñ strñz?” Twīdldúm rmarct. “Evri wn v ɖz ʈñz hz got t g on, smhǎ or uɖr.”
Alis sd aftwdz ś hd nvr sìn sć a fus md abt enʈñ in ol hr lîf—ɖ we ɖoz tū busld abt—n ɖ qontti v ʈñz ɖe pt on—n ɖ trubl ɖe gev hr in tayñ strñz n faṣnñ butnz—“Riyli ɖ’l b mor lîc bundlz v old cloɖz ɖn enʈñ els, bî ɖ tîm ɖ’r redi!” ś sd t hrslf, az ś arenjd a bolstr rnd ɖ nec v Twīdldī, “t cīp hiz hed fṛm biyñ cut of,” az h sd.
“Y nǒ,” h add vri grevli, “it’s wn v ɖ most sirịs ʈñz ɖt cn poṣbli hapn t wn in a batl—t gt wn’z hed cut of.”
Alis laft alǎd: bt ś manijd t trn it intu a cof, fr fir v hrtñ hiz fīlñz.
“D I lc vri pel?” sd Twīdldúm, cmñ p t hv hiz helmit taid on. (H cōld it a helmit, ɖo it srtnli lct mć mor lîc a sōspn.)
“Wel—yes—a litl,” Alis rplaid jntli.
“I’m vri brev jenṛli,” h wnt on in a lo vôs: “onli tde I hapn t hv a hedec.”
“N I’v got a tuʈec!” sd Twīdldī, hu hd oṿhŕd ɖ rmarc. “I’m far wrs of ɖn y!”
“Ɖen y’d betr nt fît tde,” sd Alis, ʈncñ it a gd oṗtyṇti t mc pīs.
“W mst hv a bit v a fît, bt I d’nt cer abt gwñ on loñ,” sd Twīdldúm. “Ẃt’s ɖ tîm nǎ?”
Twīdldī lct at hiz woć, n sd “Haf-past for.”
“Let’s fît tl six, n ɖen hv dinr,” sd Twīdldúm.
“Vri wel,” ɖ uɖr sd, rɖr sadli: “n ś cn woć s—onli y’d betr nt cm vri clos,” h add: “I jenṛli hit evrʈñ I cn si—ẃn I gt riyli xîtd.”
“N I hit evrʈñ wɖn rīć,” craid Twīdldúm, “ẃɖr I cn si it or nt!”
Alis laft. “Y mst hit ɖ triz priti ofn, I śd ʈnc,” ś sd.
Twīdldúm lct rnd him wɖ a saṭsfaid smîl. “I d’nt s’poz,” h sd, “ɖr’l b a tri left standñ, fr evr so far rnd, bî ɖ tîm w’v finiśt!”
“N ol abt a ratl!” sd Alis, stl hopñ t mc ɖm a litl aśemd v fîtñ fr sć a trîfl.
“I śd’nt hv mîndd it so mć,” sd Twīdldúm, “f it hd’nt bn a ny wn.”
“I wś ɖ monstṛs cro wd cm!” ʈt Alis.
“Ɖr’z onli wn sord, y nǒ,” Twīdldúm sd t hiz bruɖr: “bt y cn hv ɖ umbrela—it’s qt az śarp. Onli w mst bgin qc. It’s gtñ az darc az it cn.”
“N darcr,” sd Twīdldī.
It wz gtñ darc so sudnli ɖt Alis ʈt ɖr mst b a ʈundrstorm cmñ on. “Ẃt a ʈic blac clǎd ɖt z!” ś sd. “N hǎ fast it cmz! Ẃ, I d b’liv it’s got wñz!”
“It’s ɖ cro!” Twīdldúm craid ǎt in a śril vôs v alarm: n ɖ tū bruɖrz tc t ɖer hìlz n wr ǎt v sît in a momnt.
Alis ran a litl we intu ɖ wŭd, n stopt undr a larj tri. “It cn nvr gt at m hir,” ś ʈt: “it’s far tù larj t sqīz itslf in amñ ɖ triz. Bt I wś it wd’nt flap its wñz so—it mcs qt a huṛcen in ɖ wŭd—hir’z smbdi’z śōl biyñ bloun awe!”
