(Through the Looking-Glass – Chapter IX: Queen Alice – by Lewis Carroll, transcribed into Ñspel, a new way of spelling devised by Frank Johnson. With audio accompaniment.)
“W
el, ɖs z grand!” sd Alis. “I nvr xpctd I śd b a Qīn so sn—n I’l tel y ẃt it z, yr maɉsti,” ś wnt on in a svir ton (ś wz olwz rɖr fond v scoldñ hrslf), “it’l nvr d fr y t b lolñ abt on ɖ gras lîc ɖt! Qīnz hv t b digṇfaid, y nǒ!”
So ś got p n wōct abt—rɖr stifli jst at frst, az ś wz afreid ɖt ɖ crǎn mt cm of: bt ś cumf̣td hrslf wɖ ɖ ʈt ɖt ɖr wz nbdi t si hr, “n f I riyli am a Qīn,” ś sd az ś sat dǎn agn, “I śl b ebl t manij it qt wel in tîm.”
Evrʈñ wz haṗnñ so odli ɖt ś dd’nt fīl a bit s’prîzd at fîndñ ɖ Red Qīn n ɖ Ẃît Qīn sitñ clos t hr, wn on ć sîd: ś wd hv lîct vri mć t asc ɖm hǎ ɖe cem ɖr, bt ś fird it wd nt b qt sivl. Hvr, ɖr wd b no harm, ś ʈt, in ascñ f ɖ gem wz ovr. “Plīz, wd y tel m—” ś bgan, lcñ timidli at ɖ Red Qīn.
“Spīc ẃn y’r spocn t!” Ɖ Qīn śarpli inṭruptd hr.
“Bt f evrbdi obeid ɖt rūl,” sd Alis, hu wz olwz redi fr a litl arğmnt, “n f y onli spouc ẃn y wr spocn t, n ɖ uɖr prsn olwz wêtd fr y t bgin, y si nbdi wd evr se enʈñ, so ɖt—”
“R’dikyḷs!” craid ɖ Qīn. “Ẃ, d’nt y si, ćîld—” hir ś brouc of wɖ a frǎn, n, aftr ʈncñ fr a minit, sudnli ćenjd ɖ subjict v ɖ convseśn. “Ẃt d y mīn bî ‘F y riyli r a Qīn’? Ẃt rît hv y t cōl yrslf so? Y c’nt b a Qīn, y nǒ, tl y’v pást ɖ propr xaṃneśn. N ɖ snr w bgin it, ɖ betr.”
“I onli sd ‘f’!” pur Alis plīdd in a pitịs ton.
Ɖ tū Qīnz lct at ć uɖr, n ɖ Red Qīn rmarct, wɖ a litl śudr, “Ś sz ś onli sd ‘f’—”
“Bt ś sd a gret dīl mor ɖn ɖt!” ɖ Ẃît Qīn mond, riññ hr handz. “Ǒ, evr so mć mor ɖn ɖt!”
“So y dd, y nǒ,” ɖ Red Qīn sd t Alis. “Olwz spīc ɖ truʈ—ʈnc bfr y spīc—n rait it dǎn aftwdz.”
“I’m śr I dd’nt mīn—” Alis wz bginñ, bt ɖ Red Qīn inṭruptd hr impeśntli.
“Ɖt’s jst ẃt I cmplen v! Y śd hv mnt! Ẃt d y s’poz z ɖ ys v a ćîld wɖt eni mīnñ? Īvn a joc śd hv sm mīnñ—n a ćîld’z mor importnt ɖn a joc, I hop. Y cd’nt dnî ɖt, īvn f y traid wɖ bʈ handz.”
“I d’nt dnî ʈñz wɖ mî handz,” Alis objctd.
“Nbdi sd y dd,” sd ɖ Red Qīn. “I sd y cd’nt f y traid.”
“Ś’z in ɖt stet v mînd,” sd ɖ Ẃît Qīn, “ɖt ś wonts t dnî smʈñ—onli ś dz’nt nǒ ẃt t dnî!”
“A nasti, viśs tmpr,” ɖ Red Qīn rmarct; n ɖen ɖr wz an uncumf̣tbl sîḷns fr a minit or tū.
Ɖ Red Qīn brouc ɖ sîḷns bî seyñ t ɖ Ẃît Qīn, “I invît y t Alis’z dinrparti ɖs afṭnun.”
Ɖ Ẃît Qīn smîld fībli, n sd “N I invît y.”
“I dd’nt nǒ I wz t hv a parti at ol,” sd Alis; “bt f ɖr z t b wn, I ʈnc I òt t invît ɖ gests.”
“W gev y ɖ oṗtyṇti v dwñ it,” ɖ Red Qīn rmarct: “bt I derse y’v nt hd mni lésnz in manrz yt?”
“Manrz r nt tòt in lésnz,” sd Alis. “Lésnz tīć y t d sumz, n ʈñz v ɖt sort.”
“N y d Adiśn?” ɖ Ẃît Qīn asct. “Ẃt’s wn n wn n wn n wn n wn n wn n wn n wn n wn n wn?”
“I d’nt nǒ,” sd Alis. “I lost cǎnt.”
“Ś c’nt d Adiśn,” ɖ Red Qīn inṭruptd. “Cn y d Sbtrax́n? Tec nîn fṛm et.”
“Nîn fṛm et I c’nt, y nǒ,” Alis rplaid vri reḍli: “bt—”
“Ś c’nt d Sbtrax́n,” sd ɖ Ẃît Qīn. “Cn y d Dviźn? Dvîd a lof bî a nîf—ẃt’s ɖ ansr t ɖt?”
“I s’poz—” Alis wz bginñ, bt ɖ Red Qīn ansrd fr hr. “Bred n butr, v cors. Trî anɖr Sbtrax́n sum. Tec a bon fṛm a dog: ẃt rmenz?”
Alis cnsidrd. “Ɖ bon wd’nt rmen, v cors, f I tc it—n ɖ dog wd’nt rmen; it wd cm t bît m—n I’m śr I śd’nt rmen!”
“Ɖen y ʈnc nʈñ wd rmen?” sd ɖ Red Qīn.
“I ʈnc ɖt’s ɖ ansr.”
“Roñ, az yźl,” sd ɖ Red Qīn: “ɖ dog’z tmpr wd rmen.”
“Bt I d’nt si hǎ—”
“Ẃ, lc hir!” ɖ Red Qīn craid. “Ɖ dog wd lūz its tmpr, wd’nt it?”
“Phps it wd,” Alis rplaid cōśsli.
“Ɖen f ɖ dog wnt awe, its tmpr wd rmen!” ɖ Qīn xclemd trîumfntli.
Alis sd, az grevli az ś cd, “Ɖe mt g difṛnt wez.” Bt ś cd’nt hlp ʈncñ t hrslf, “Ẃt dredfl nonsns w r tōcñ!”
“Ś c’nt d sumz a bit!” ɖ Qīnz sd tgɖr, wɖ gret emf̣sis.
“Cn y d sumz?” Alis sd, trnñ sudnli on ɖ Ẃît Qīn, fr ś dd’nt lîc biyñ faund fōlt wɖ so mć.
Ɖ Qīn gaspt n śut hr îz. “I cn d Adiśn, f y gv m tîm—bt I c’nt d Sbtrax́n, undr eni srcmstansz!”
“V cors y nǒ yr A B C?” sd ɖ Red Qīn.
“T b śr I d.” sd Alis.
“So d I,” ɖ Ẃît Qīn ẃisprd: “w’l ofn se it ovr tgɖr, dir. N I’l tel y a sīcrit—I cn rīd wrdz v wn letr! Z’nt ɖt grand! Hvr, d’nt b dscurijd. Y’l cm t it in tîm.”
Hir ɖ Red Qīn bgan agn. “Cn y ansr ysfl qsćnz?” ś sd. “Hǎ z bred md?”
“I nǒ ɖt!” Alis craid īgrli. “Y tec sm flaur—”
“Ẃr d y pic ɖ flǎr?” ɖ Ẃît Qīn asct. “In a gardn, or in ɖ hejz?”
“Wel, it z’nt pict at ol,” Alis xplend: “it’s graund—”
“Hǎ mni ecrz v grǎnd?” sd ɖ Ẃît Qīn. “Y ms’nt līv ǎt so mni ʈñz.”
“Fan hr hed!” ɖ Red Qīn añśsli inṭruptd. “Ś’l b fīṿriś aftr so mć ʈncñ.” So ɖe set t wrc n fand hr wɖ bunćz v līvz, tl ś hd t beg ɖm t līv of, it blù hr her abt so.
“Ś’z ol rît agn nǎ,” sd ɖ Red Qīn. “D y nǒ Lanḡjz? Ẃt’s ɖ Frenć fr fidl-di-dī?”
“Fidl-di-dī’z nt Ñgliś,” Alis rplaid grevli.
“Hu evr sd it wz?” sd ɖ Red Qīn.
Alis ʈt ś sw a we ǎt v ɖ dificlti ɖs tîm. “F y’l tel m ẃt lanḡj ‘fidl-di-dī’ z, I’l tel y ɖ Frenć fr it!” ś xclemd trîumfntli.
Bt ɖ Red Qīn drù hrslf p rɖr stifli, n sd “Qīnz nvr mc barginz.”
“I wś Qīnz nvr asct qsćnz,” Alis ʈt t hrslf.
“D’nt let s qoṛl,” ɖ Ẃît Qīn sd in an añśs ton. “Ẃt z ɖ cōz v lîtnñ?”
“Ɖ cōz v lîtnñ,” Alis sd vri dsîdidli, fr ś flt qt srtn abt ɖs, “z ɖ ʈundr—no, no!” ś hesṭli c’rectd hrslf. “I mnt ɖ uɖr we.”
“It’s tù lêt t c’rect it,” sd ɖ Red Qīn: “ẃn y’v wns sd a ʈñ, ɖt fixz it, n y mst tec ɖ consiqnsz.”
“Ẃć rmîndz m—” ɖ Ẃît Qīn sd, lcñ dǎn n nrṿsli claspñ n unclaspñ hr handz, “w hd sć a ʈundrstorm last Tyzde—I mīn wn v ɖ last set v Tyzdez, y nǒ.”
Alis wz puzld. “In ǎr cuntri,” ś rmarct, “ɖr’z onli wn de at a tîm.”
Ɖ Red Qīn sd, “Ɖt’s a pur ʈin we v dwñ ʈñz. Nǎ hir, w mostli hv dez n nîts tū or ʈri at a tîm, n smtmz in ɖ wintr w tec az mni az fîv nîts tgɖr—fr wormʈ, y nǒ.”
“R fîv nîts wormr ɖn wn nît, ɖen?” Alis vnćrd t asc.
“Fîv tîmz az worm, v cors.”
“Bt ɖe śd b fîv tîmz az cold, bî ɖ sem rūl—”
“Jst so!” craid ɖ Red Qīn. “Fîv tîmz az worm, n fîv tîmz az cold—jst az I’m fîv tîmz az rić az y r, n fîv tîmz az clevr!”
Alis said n gev it p. “It’s xacli lîc a ridl wɖ no ansr!” ś ʈt.
“Humti Dumti sw it tù,” ɖ Ẃît Qīn wnt on in a lo vôs, mor az f ś wr tōcñ t hrslf. “H cem t ɖ dor wɖ a corcscru in hiz hand—”
“Ẃt dd h wont?” sd ɖ Red Qīn.
“H sd h wd cm in,” ɖ Ẃît Qīn wnt on, “bcz h wz lcñ fr a hippoṭms. Nǎ, az it hapnd, ɖr wz’nt sć a ʈñ in ɖ hǎs, ɖt mornñ.”
“Z ɖr jenṛli?” Alis asct in an astoniśt ton.
“Wel, onli on Ʈrzdez,” sd ɖ Qīn.
“I nǒ ẃt h cem fr,” sd Alis: “h wontd t puniś ɖ fiś, bcz—”
Hir ɖ Ẃît Qīn bgan agn. “It wz sć a ʈundrstorm, y c’nt ʈnc!” (“Ś nvr cd, y nǒ,” sd ɖ Red Qīn.) “N part v ɖ rūf cem of, n evr so mć ʈundr got in—n it wnt rolñ rnd ɖ rūm in gret lumps—n nocñ ovr ɖ teblz n ʈñz—tl I wz so frîtnd, I cd’nt rmembr mî ǒn nem!”
Alis ʈt t hrslf, “I nvr śd trî t rmembr mî nem in ɖ midl v an axidnt! Ẃr wd b ɖ ys v it?” bt ś dd nt se ɖs alǎd, fr fir v hrtñ ɖ pur Qīn’z fīlñz.
“Yr Maɉsti mst xkz hr,” ɖ Red Qīn sd t Alis, tecñ wn v ɖ Ẃît Qīn’z handz in hr ǒn, n jntli strocñ it: “ś mīnz wel, bt ś c’nt hlp seyñ fūliś ʈñz, az a jenṛl rūl.”
Ɖ Ẃît Qīn lct timidli at Alis, hu flt ś òt t se smʈñ cnd, bt riyli cd’nt ʈnc v enʈñ at ɖ momnt.
“Ś nvr wz riyli wel bròt p,” ɖ Red Qīn wnt on: “bt it’s amezñ hǎ gd-tmprd ś z! Pat hr on ɖ hed, n si hǎ plizd ś’l b!” Bt ɖs wz mor ɖn Alis hd curij t d.
“A litl cîndnis—n ptñ hr her in peprz—wd d wundrz wɖ hr—”
Ɖ Ẃît Qīn gev a dīp sai, n leid hr hed on Alis’z śoldr. “I am so slīpi?” ś mond.
“Ś’z tîrd, pur ʈñ!” sd ɖ Red Qīn. “Smuɖ hr her—lend hr yr nîtcap—n sñ hr a suɖñ luḷbî.”
“I hv’nt got a nîtcap wɖ m,” sd Alis, az ś traid t obe ɖ frst d’rex́n: “n I d’nt nǒ eni suɖñ luḷbîz.”
“I mst d it mslf, ɖen,” sd ɖ Red Qīn, n ś bgan:
“Huś-a-bî ledi, in Alis’z lap!
Tl ɖ fīst’s redi, w’v tîm fr a nap:
Ẃn ɖ fīst’s ovr, w’l g t ɖ bōl—
Red Qīn, n Ẃît Qīn, n Alis, n ol!
“N nǎ y nǒ ɖ wrdz,” ś add, az ś pt hr hed dǎn on Alis’z uɖr śoldr, “jst sñ it ʈru t m. I’m gtñ slīpi, tù.” In anɖr momnt bʈ Qīnz wr fast aslip, n snorñ lǎd.
“Ẃt am I t d?” xclemd Alis, lcñ abt in gret pplex̣ti, az frst wn rǎnd hed, n ɖen ɖ uɖr, rold dǎn fṛm hr śoldr, n le lîc a hevi lump in hr lap. “I d’nt ʈnc it evr hapnd bfr, ɖt enwn hd t tec cer v tū Qīnz aslip at wns! No, nt in ol ɖ Hisṭri v Ñgḷnd—it cd’nt, y nǒ, bcz ɖr nvr wz mor ɖn wn Qīn at a tîm. D wec p, y hevi ʈñz!” ś wnt on in an impeśnt ton; bt ɖr wz no ansr bt a jntl snorñ.
Ɖ snorñ got mor dstñt evri minit, n sǎndd mor lîc a tyn: at last ś cd īvn mc ǎt ɖ wrdz, n ś lisnd so īgrli ɖt, ẃn ɖ tū gret hedz vaniśt fṛm hr lap, ś hardli míst ɖm.
Ś wz standñ bfr an arćt dorwe ovr ẃć wr ɖ wrdz QĪN ALIS in larj letrz, n on ć sîd v ɖ arć ɖr wz a belhandl; wn wz marct “Vizitrz’ Bel,” n ɖ uɖr “Srvnts’ Bel.”
“I’l wêt tl ɖ soñ’z ovr,” ʈt Alis, “n ɖen I’l rñ—ɖ—ẃć bel mst I rñ?” ś wnt on, vri mć puzld bî ɖ nemz. “I’m nt a vizitr, n I’m nt a srvnt. Ɖr òt t b wn marct ‘Qīn,’ y nǒ—”
Jst ɖen ɖ dor opnd a litl we, n a crīćr wɖ a loñ bīc pt its hed ǎt fr a momnt n sd “No admitns tl ɖ wīc aftr nxt!” n śut ɖ dor agn wɖ a bañ.
Alis noct n rañ in ven fr a loñ tîm, bt at last, a vri old Frog, hu wz sitñ undr a tri, got p n hobld slǒli twdz hr: h wz drest in brît yelo, n hd inorṃs būts on.
“Ẃt z it, nǎ?” ɖ Frog sd in a dīp hōrs ẃispr.
Alis trnd rnd, redi t fînd fōlt wɖ enbdi. “Ẃr’z ɖ srvnt huz biznis it z t ansr ɖ dor?” ś bgan angṛli.
“Ẃć dor?” sd ɖ Frog.
Alis olmst stamt wɖ iṛteśn at ɖ slo drōl in ẃć h spouc. “Ɖs dor, v cors!”
Ɖ Frog lct at ɖ dor wɖ hiz larj dul îz fr a minit: ɖen h wnt nirr n rubd it wɖ hiz ʈum, az f h wr trayñ ẃɖr ɖ pent wd cm of; ɖen h lct at Alis.
“T ansr ɖ dor?” h sd. “Ẃt’s it bn ascñ v?” H wz so hōrs ɖt Alis cd scersli hír him.
“I d’nt nǒ ẃt y mīn,” ś sd.
“I tōcs Ñgliś, dz’nt I?” ɖ Frog wnt on. “Or r y def? Ẃt dd it asc y?”
“Nʈñ!” Alis sd impeśntli. “I’v bn nocñ at it!”
“Śd’nt d ɖt—śd’nt d ɖt—” ɖ Frog mutrd. “Vxz it, y nǒ.” Ɖen h wnt p n gev ɖ dor a cic wɖ wn v hiz gret fīt. “Y let it alon,” h pantd ǎt, az h hobld bac t hiz tri, “n it’l let y alon, y nǒ.”
At ɖs momnt ɖ dor wz fluñ opn, n a śril vôs wz hŕd sññ:
T ɖ Lcñglas wrld it wz Alis ɖt sd,
“I’v a septr in hand, I’v a crǎn on mî hed;
Let ɖ Lcñglas crīćrz, ẃtvr ɖe b,
Cm n dîn wɖ ɖ Red Qīn, ɖ Ẃît Qīn, n m.”
N hundṛdz v vôsz jônd in ɖ cōṛs:
“Ɖen fil p ɖ glasz az qc az y cn,
N sprincl ɖ tebl wɖ butnz n bran:
Pt cats in ɖ cofi, n mîs in ɖ ti—
N welcm Qīn Alis wɖ ʈrti-tîmz-ʈri!”
Ɖen foloud a cnfyzd nôz v ćirñ, n Alis ʈt t hrslf, “Ʈrti tîmz ʈri mcs nînti. I wundr f eni wn’z cǎntñ?” In a minit ɖr wz sîḷns agn, n ɖ sem śril vôs sañ anɖr vrs;
“Ǒ Lcñglas crīćrz,” qoʈ Alis, “drw nir!
‘Tiz an onr t si m, a fevr t hír:
‘Tiz a priṿlij hî t hv dinr n ti
Alñ wɖ ɖ Red Qīn, ɖ Ẃît Qīn, n m!”
Ɖen cem ɖ cōṛs agn:—
“Ɖen fil p ɖ glasz wɖ trīcl n ñc,
Or enʈñ els ɖt z pleznt t drinc:
Mix sand wɖ ɖ sîdr, n wŭl wɖ ɖ wîn—
N welcm Qīn Alis wɖ nînti-tîmz-nîn!”
“Nînti tîmz nîn!” Alis rpitd in dsper, “Ǒ, ɖt’l nvr b dn! I’d betr g in at wns—” n ɖr wz a ded sîḷns ɖ momnt ś apird.
Alis glanst nrṿsli alñ ɖ tebl, az ś wōct p ɖ larj hōl, n notist ɖt ɖr wr abt fifti gests, v ol cndz: sm wr animlz, sm brdz, n ɖr wr īvn a fy flǎrz amñ ɖm. “I’m glad ɖ’v cm wɖt wêtñ t b asct,” ś ʈt: “I śd nvr hv noun hu wr ɖ rît ppl t invît!”
Ɖr wr ʈri ćerz at ɖ hed v ɖ tebl; ɖ Red n Ẃît Qīnz hd olrdi tecn tū v ɖm, bt ɖ midl wn wz emti. Alis sat dǎn in it, rɖr uncumf̣tbl in ɖ sîḷns, n loññ fr smwn t spīc.
At last ɖ Red Qīn bgan. “Y’v míst ɖ sūp n fiś,” ś sd. “Pt on ɖ jônt!” N ɖ wêtrz set a leg v mutn bfr Alis, hu lct at it rɖr añśsli, az ś hd nvr hd t carv a jônt bfr.
“Y lc a litl śî; let m intṛdys y t ɖt leg v mutn,” sd ɖ Red Qīn. “Alis—Mutn; Mutn—Alis.” Ɖ leg v mutn got p in ɖ diś n md a litl bǎ t Alis; n Alis rtrnd ɖ bǎ, nt nwñ ẃɖr t b frîtnd or aḿzd.
“Me I gv y a slîs?” ś sd, tecñ p ɖ nîf n forc, n lcñ fṛm wn Qīn t ɖ uɖr.
“Srtnli nt,” ɖ Red Qīn sd, vri dsîdidli: “it z’nt eticét t cut enwn y’v bn intṛdyst t. Rmuv ɖ jônt!” N ɖ wêtrz carid it of, n bròt a larj plum pdñ in its ples.
“I w’nt b intṛdyst t ɖ pdñ, plīz,” Alis sd rɖr hesṭli, “or w śl gt no dinr at ol. Me I gv y sm?”
Bt ɖ Red Qīn lct sulci, n grǎld “Pdñ—Alis; Alis—Pdñ. Rmuv ɖ pdñ!” n ɖ wêtrz tc it awe so qcli ɖt Alis cd’nt rtrn its bǎ.
Hvr, ś dd’nt si ẃ ɖ Red Qīn śd b ɖ onli wn t gv ordrz, so, az an xpeṛment, ś cōld ǎt “Wêtr! Brñ bac ɖ pdñ!” n ɖr it wz agn in a momnt lîc a cunɉrñtric. It wz so larj ɖt ś cd’nt hlp fīlñ a litl śî wɖ it, az ś hd bn wɖ ɖ mutn; hvr, ś concrd hr śînis bî a gret ef̣t n cut a slîs n handd it t ɖ Red Qīn.
“Ẃt imprtinns!” sd ɖ Pdñ. “I wundr hǎ y’d lîc it, f I wr t cut a slîs ǎt v y, y crīćr!”
It spouc in a ʈic, suwti sort v vôs, n Alis hd’nt a wrd t se in rplî: ś cd onli sit n lc at it n gasp.
“Mc a rmarc,” sd ɖ Red Qīn: “it’s r’dikyḷs t līv ol ɖ convseśn t ɖ pdñ!”
“D y nǒ, I’v hd sć a qontti v powtri rpitd t m tde,” Alis bgan, a litl frîtnd at fîndñ ɖt, ɖ momnt ś opnd hr lips, ɖr wz ded sîḷns, n ol îz wr fixt upn hr; “n it’s a vri krịs ʈñ, I ʈnc—evri powm wz abt fiśz in sm we. D y nǒ ẃ ɖ’r so fond v fiśz, ol abt hir?”
Ś spouc t ɖ Red Qīn, huz ansr wz a litl wîd v ɖ marc. “Az t fiśz,” ś sd, vri slǒli n soḷmli, ptñ hr mǎʈ clos t Alis’z ir, “hr Ẃît Maɉsti nz a luvli ridl—ol in powtri—ol abt fiśz. Śl ś rpit it?”
“Hr Red Maɉsti’z vri cnd t mnśn it,” ɖ Ẃît Qīn mrmrd intu Alis’z uɖr ir, in a vôs lîc ɖ cuwñ v a pijn. “It wd b sć a trīt! Me I?”
“Plīz d,” Alis sd vri p’lîtli.
Ɖ Ẃît Qīn laft wɖ dlît, n stroct Alis’z ćīc. Ɖen ś bgan:
“Frst, ɖ fiś mst b còt.”
Ɖt z īzi: a bebi, I ʈnc, cd hv còt it.
“Nxt, ɖ fiś mst b bòt.”
Ɖt z īzi: a peni, I ʈnc, wd hv bòt it.
“Nǎ cc m ɖ fiś!”
Ɖt z īzi, n wl nt tec mor ɖn a minit.
“Let it lî in a diś!”
Ɖt z īzi, bcz it olrdi z in it.
“Brñ it hir! Let m sup!”
It z īzi t set sć a diś on ɖ tebl.
“Tec ɖ diścuvr p!”
Ā, ɖt z so hard ɖt I fir I’m unebl!
Fr it holdz it lîc glu—
Holdz ɖ lid t ɖ diś, ẃl it lîz in ɖ midl:
Ẃć z īziist t d,
Un-diś-cuvr ɖ fiś, or diścuvr ɖ ridl?”
“Tec a minit t ʈnc abt it, n ɖen ges,” sd ɖ Red Qīn. “Mnẃl, w’l drinc yr hlʈ—Qīn Alis’z hlʈ!” ś scrīmd at ɖ top v hr vôs, n ol ɖ gests bgan drincñ it d’recli, n vri qirli ɖe manijd it: sm v ɖm pt ɖer glasz upn ɖer hedz lîc xtnḡśrz, n dranc ol ɖt tricld dǎn ɖer fesz—uɖrz upset ɖ dcantrz, n dranc ɖ wîn az it ran of ɖ éjz v ɖ tebl—n ʈri v ɖm (hu lct lîc canġruz) scrambld intu ɖ diś v rost mutn, n bgan īgrli lapñ p ɖ grevi, “jst lîc pigz in a trof!” ʈt Alis.
“Y òt t rtrn ʈancs in a nīt spīć,” ɖ Red Qīn sd, frǎnñ at Alis az ś spouc.
“W mst s’port y, y nǒ,” ɖ Ẃît Qīn ẃisprd, az Alis got p t d it, vri obījntli, bt a litl frîtnd.
“Ʈanc y vri mć,” ś ẃisprd in rplî, “bt I cn d qt wel wɖt.”
“Ɖt wd’nt b at ol ɖ ʈñ,” ɖ Red Qīn sd vri dsîdidli: so Alis traid t sbmit t it wɖ a gd gres.
(“N ɖe dd pś so!” ś sd aftwdz, ẃn ś wz telñ hr sistr ɖ hisṭri v ɖ fīst. “Y wd hv ʈt ɖe wontd t sqīz m flat!”)
In fact it wz rɖr dificlt fr hr t cīp in hr ples ẃl ś md hr spīć: ɖ tū Qīnz pśt hr so, wn on ć sîd, ɖt ɖe nirli liftd hr p intu ɖ er: “I rîz t rtrn ʈancs—” Alis bgan: n ś riyli dd rîz az ś spouc, sevṛl inćz; bt ś got hold v ɖ éj v ɖ tebl, n manijd t pl hrslf dǎn agn.
“Tec cer v yrslf!” scrīmd ɖ Ẃît Qīn, sizñ Alis’z her wɖ bʈ hr handz. “Smʈñ’z gwñ t hapn!”
N ɖen (az Alis aftwdz dscrîbd it) ol sorts v ʈñz hapnd in a momnt. Ɖ candlz ol grù p t ɖ sīlñ, lcñ smʈñ lîc a bed v ruśz wɖ fîrwrcs at ɖ top. Az t ɖ botlz, ɖe ć tc a per v plets, ẃć ɖe hesṭli fitd on az wñz, n so, wɖ forcs fr legz, wnt fluṭrñ abt in ol d’rex́nz: “n vri lîc brdz ɖe lc,” Alis ʈt t hrslf, az wel az ś cd in ɖ dredfl cnfyźn ɖt wz bginñ.
At ɖs momnt ś hŕd a hōrs laf at hr sîd, n trnd t si ẃt wz ɖ matr wɖ ɖ Ẃît Qīn; bt, instd v ɖ Qīn, ɖr wz ɖ leg v mutn sitñ in ɖ ćer. “Hir I am!” craid a vôs fṛm ɖ sūp t’rīn, n Alis trnd agn, jst in tîm t si ɖ Qīn’z brōd gd-nećrd fes grinñ at hr fr a momnt ovr ɖ éj v ɖ t’rīn, bfr ś dis’pird intu ɖ sūp.
Ɖr wz nt a momnt t b lost. Olrdi sevṛl v ɖ gests wr layñ dǎn in ɖ diśz, n ɖ sūpledl wz wōcñ p ɖ tebl twdz Alis’z ćer, n bec̣nñ t hr impeśntli t gt ǎt v its we.
“I c’nt stand ɖs eni longr!” ś craid az ś jumt p n sizd ɖ teblcloʈ wɖ bʈ handz: wn gd pl, n plets, diśz, gests, n candlz cem craśñ dǎn tgɖr in a hīp on ɖ flor.
“N az fr y,” ś wnt on, trnñ firsli upn ɖ Red Qīn, hūm ś cnsidrd az ɖ cōz v ol ɖ misćif—bt ɖ Qīn wz no longr at hr sîd—ś hd sudnli dwindld dǎn t ɖ sîz v a litl dol, n wz nǎ on ɖ tebl, meṛli runñ rnd n rnd aftr hr ǒn śōl, ẃć wz trelñ bhnd hr.
At eni uɖr tîm, Alis wd hv flt s’prîzd at ɖs, bt ś wz far tù mć xîtd t b s’prîzd at enʈñ nǎ. “Az fr y,” ś rpitd, caćñ hold v ɖ litl crīćr in ɖ vri act v jumpñ ovr a botl ẃć hd jst lîtd upn ɖ tebl, “I’l śec y intu a citn, ɖt I wl!”
