(Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – Chapter II: The Pool of Tears – by Lewis Carroll, transcribed into Ñspel, a new way of spelling devised by Frank Johnson. With audio accompaniment.)
“K
rịsr n krịsr!” craid Alis (ś wz so mć s’prîzd, ɖt fr ɖ momnt ś qt fgot hǎ t spīc gd Ñgliś); “nǎ I’m oṗnñ ǎt lîc ɖ larjist teḷscop ɖt evr wz! Gdbî, fīt!” (fr ẃn ś lct dǎn at hr fīt, ɖe sīmd t b olmst ǎt v sît, ɖe wr gtñ so far of). “Ǒ, mî pur litl fīt, I wundr hu wl pt on yr śuz n stocñz fr y nǎ, dirz? I’m śr I ś’nt b ebl! I śl b a gret dīl tù far of t trubl mslf abt y: y mst manij ɖ bst we y cn;—bt I mst b cînd t ɖm,” ʈt Alis, “or phps ɖe w’nt wōc ɖ we I wont t g! Let m si: I’l gv ɖm a ny per v būts evri Crisṃs.”
N ś wnt on planñ t hrslf hǎ ś wd manij it. “Ɖe mst g bî ɖ carịr,” ś ʈt; “n hǎ funi it’l sīm, sndñ preznts t wn’z ǒn fīt! N hǎ od ɖ d’rex́nz wl lc!
Alis’z Rît Ft, Isq.,
Harʈrug,
Nir ɖ fndr
(wɖ Alis’z luv).
Ǒ dir, ẃt nonsns I’m tōcñ!”
Jst ɖen hr hed struc agnst ɖ rūf v ɖ hōl: in fact ś wz nǎ mor ɖn nîn fīt hî, n ś at wns tc p ɖ litl goldn ci n hurid of t ɖ gardndor.
Pur Alis! It wz az mć az ś cd d, layñ dǎn on wn sîd, t lc ʈru intu ɖ gardn wɖ wn î; bt t gt ʈru wz mor hoplis ɖn evr: ś sat dǎn n bgan t crî agn.
“Y òt t b aśemd v yrslf,” sd Alis, “a gret grl lîc y,” (ś mt wel se ɖs), “t g on crayñ in ɖs we! Stop ɖs momnt, I tel y!” Bt ś wnt on ol ɖ sem, śedñ gaḷnz v tirz, untl ɖr wz a larj pūl ol rnd hr, abt for inćz dīp n rīćñ haf dǎn ɖ hōl.
Aftr a tîm ś hŕd a litl paṭrñ v fīt in ɖ distns, n ś hesṭli draid hr îz t si ẃt wz cmñ. It wz ɖ Ẃît Rabit rtrnñ, splendidli drest, wɖ a per v ẃît cid gluvz in wn hand n a larj fan in ɖ uɖr: h cem trotñ alñ in a gret huri, muṭrñ t himslf az h cem, “Ǒ! ɖ Dućis, ɖ Dućis! Ǒ! w’nt ś b savij f I’v cept hr wêtñ!” Alis flt so despṛt ɖt ś wz redi t asc hlp v eni wn; so, ẃn ɖ Rabit cem nir hr, ś bgan, in a lo, timid vôs, “F y plīz, sr—” Ɖ Rabit startd vayḷntli, dropt ɖ ẃît cid gluvz n ɖ fan, n scurid awe intu ɖ darcnis az hard az h cd g.
Alis tc p ɖ fan n gluvz, n, az ɖ hōl wz vri hot, ś cept fanñ hrslf ol ɖ tîm ś wnt on tōcñ: “Dir, dir! Hǎ qir evrʈñ z tde! N yesṭde ʈñz wnt on jst az yźl. I wundr f I’v bn ćenjd in ɖ nît? Let m ʈnc: wz I ɖ sem ẃn I got p ɖs mornñ? I olmst ʈnc I cn rmembr fīlñ a litl difṛnt. Bt f I’m nt ɖ sem, ɖ nxt qsćn z, Hu in ɖ wrld am I? Ā, ɖt’s ɖ gret puzl!” N ś bgan ʈncñ ovr ol ɖ ćildṛn ś ń ɖt wr v ɖ sem ej az hrslf, t si f ś cd hv bn ćenjd fr eni v ɖm.
“I’m śr I’m nt Eda,” ś sd, “fr hr her gz in sć loñ rñlits, n mîn dz’nt g in rñlits at ol; n I’m śr I c’nt b Mebl, fr I nǒ ol sorts v ʈñz, n ś, ǒ! ś nz sć a vri litl! Bsdz, ś’z ś, n I’m I, n—ǒ dir, hǎ puẓlñ it ol z! I’l trî f I nǒ ol ɖ ʈñz I yst t nǒ. Let m si: for tîmz fîv z twelv, n for tîmz six z ʈrtīn, n for tîmz sevn z—ǒ dir! I śl nvr gt t twenti at ɖt ret! Hvr, ɖ Mulṭpliceśn Tebl dz’nt sigṇfî: let’s trî Jiogṛfi. Lundn z ɖ capitl v Paris, n Paris z ɖ capitl v Rǒm, n Rǒm—no, ɖt’s ol roñ, I’m srtn! I mst hv bn ćenjd fr Mebl! I’l trî n se ‘Hǎ duʈ ɖ litl—’” n ś crost hr handz on hr lap az f ś wr seyñ lésnz, n bgan t rpit it, bt hr vôs sǎndd hōrs n strenj, n ɖ wrdz dd nt cm ɖ sem az ɖe yst t d:—
“Hǎ duʈ ɖ litl croc̣dîl
Impruv hiz śînñ teil,
N por ɖ wōtrz v ɖ Nîl
On evri goldn scel!
“Hǎ ćirf̣li h sīmz t grin,
Hǎ nītli spred hiz clwz,
N welcm litl fiśz in
Wɖ jntli smîlñ jwz!”
“I’m śr ɖoz r nt ɖ rît wrdz,” sd pur Alis, n hr îz fild wɖ tirz agn az ś wnt on, “I mst b Mebl aftr ol, n I śl hv t g n liv in ɖt pǒci litl hǎs, n hv nxt t no tôz t ple wɖ, n ǒ! evr so mni lésnz t lrn! No, I’v md p mî mînd abt it; f I’m Mebl, I’l ste dǎn hir! It’l b no ys ɖer ptñ ɖer hedz dǎn n seyñ “Cm p agn, dir!” I śl onli lc p n se “Hu am I ɖen? Tel m ɖt frst, n ɖen, f I lîc biyñ ɖt prsn, I’l cm p: f nt, I’l ste dǎn hir tl I’m smbdi els”—bt, ǒ dir!” craid Alis, wɖ a sudn brst v tirz, “I d wś ɖe wd pt ɖer hedz dǎn! I am so vri tîrd v biyñ ol alon hir!”
Az ś sd ɖs ś lct dǎn at hr handz, n wz s’prîzd t si ɖt ś hd pt on wn v ɖ Rabit’s litl ẃît cid gluvz ẃl ś wz tōcñ. “Hǎ cn I hv dn ɖt?” ś ʈt. “I mst b growñ smōl agn.” Ś got p n wnt t ɖ tebl t meźr hrslf bî it, n faund ɖt, az nirli az ś cd ges, ś wz nǎ abt tū fīt hî, n wz gwñ on śrincñ rapidli: ś sn faund ǎt ɖt ɖ cōz v ɖs wz ɖ fan ś wz holdñ, n ś dropt it hesṭli, jst in tîm t avôd śrincñ awe oltgɖr.
“Ɖt wz a naro iscep!” sd Alis, a gd dīl frîtnd at ɖ sudn ćenj, bt vri glad t fînd hrslf stl in xistns; “n nǎ fr ɖ gardn!” n ś ran wɖ ol spīd bac t ɖ litl dor: bt, alas! ɖ litl dor wz śut agn, n ɖ litl goldn ci wz layñ on ɖ glas tebl az bfr, “n ʈñz r wrs ɖn evr,” ʈt ɖ pur ćîld, “fr I nvr wz so smōl az ɖs bfr, nvr! N I dcler it’s tù bad, ɖt it z!”
Az ś sd ɖz wrdz hr ft slipt, n in anɖr momnt, splaś! ś wz p t hr ćin in sōlt wōtr. Hr frst îdīa wz ɖt ś hd smhǎ fōḷn intu ɖ sì, “n in ɖt ces I cn g bac bî relwe,” ś sd t hrslf. (Alis hd bn t ɖ sìsîd wns in hr lîf, n hd cm t ɖ jenṛl cncluźn, ɖt ẃrvr y g t on ɖ Ñgliś cǒst y fînd a numbr v beɖñmśīnz in ɖ sì, sm ćildṛn digñ in ɖ sand wɖ wŭdn spedz, ɖen a ro v lojñhǎzz, n bhnd ɖm a relwe-steśn.) Hvr, ś sn md ǎt ɖt ś wz in ɖ pūl v tirz ẃć ś hd wept ẃn ś wz nîn fīt hî.
“I wś I hd’nt craid so mć!” sd Alis, az ś swam abt, trayñ t fînd hr we ǎt. “I śl b puniśt fr it nǎ, I s’poz, bî biyñ drǎnd in mî ǒn tirz! Ɖt wl b a qir ʈñ, t b śr! Hvr, evrʈñ z qir tde.”
Jst ɖen ś hŕd smʈñ splaśñ abt in ɖ pūl a litl we of, n ś swam nirr t mc ǎt ẃt it wz: at frst ś ʈt it mst b a wōlṛs or hippoṭms, bt ɖen ś rmembrd hǎ smōl ś wz nǎ, n ś sn md ǎt ɖt it wz onli a mǎs ɖt hd slipt in lîc hrslf.
“Wd it b v eni ys, nǎ,” ʈt Alis, “t spīc t ɖs mǎs? Evrʈñ z so ǎt-v-ɖ-we dǎn hir, ɖt I śd ʈnc vri lîcli it cn tōc: at eni ret, ɖr’z no harm in trayñ.” So ś bgan: “O Mǎs, d y nǒ ɖ we ǎt v ɖs pūl? I am vri tîrd v swimñ abt hir, O Mǎs!” (Alis ʈt ɖs mst b ɖ rît we v spīcñ t a mǎs: ś hd nvr dn sć a ʈñ bfr, bt ś rmembrd hvñ sìn in hr bruɖr’z Latin Gramr, “A mǎs—v a mǎs—t a mǎs—a mǎs—O mǎs!”) Ɖ Mǎs lct at hr rɖr inqiztivli, n sīmd t hr t wnc wɖ wn v its litl îz, bt it sd nʈñ.
“Phps it dz’nt unḍstand Ñgliś,” ʈt Alis; “I der se it’s a Frenć mǎs, cm ovr wɖ Wiłm ɖ Concrr.” (Fr, wɖ ol hr nolij v hisṭri, Alis hd no vri clir nośn hǎ loñ ago enʈñ hd hapnd.) So ś bgan agn: “Ou est ma chatte?” ẃć wz ɖ frst sntns in hr Frenć lésn-bc. Ɖ Mǎs gev a sudn līp ǎt v ɖ wōtr, n sīmd t qivr ol ovr wɖ frît. “Ǒ, I beg yr pardn!” craid Alis hesṭli, afreid ɖt ś hd hrt ɖ pur animl’z fīlñz. “I qt fgot y dd’nt lîc cats.”
“Nt lîc cats!” craid ɖ Mǎs, in a śril, paśṇt vôs. “Wd y lîc cats f y wr m?”
“Wel, phps nt,” sd Alis in a suɖñ ton: “d’nt b angri abt it. N yt I wś I cd śo y ǎr cat Dîna: I ʈnc y’d tec a fansi t cats f y cd onli si hr. Ś z sć a dir qayt ʈñ,” Alis wnt on, haf t hrslf, az ś swam leẓli abt in ɖ pūl, “n ś sits pŕñ so nîsli bî ɖ fîr, licñ hr pwz n wośñ hr fes—n ś z sć a nîs soft ʈñ t nrs—n ś’z sć a capitl wn fr caćñ mîs—ǒ, I beg yr pardn!” craid Alis agn, fr ɖs tîm ɖ Mǎs wz briṣlñ ol ovr, n ś flt srtn it mst b riyli ofndd. “W w’nt tōc abt hr eni mor f y’d rɖr nt.”
“W indd!” craid ɖ Mǎs, hu wz tremḅlñ dǎn t ɖ end v hiz teil. “Az f I wd tōc on sć a subjict! Ǎr faṃli olwz hetd cats: nasti, lo, vulgr ʈñz! D’nt let m hír ɖ nem agn!”
“I w’nt indd!” sd Alis, in a gret huri t ćenj ɖ subjict v convseśn. “R y—r y fond—v—v dogz?” Ɖ Mǎs dd nt ansr, so Alis wnt on īgrli: “Ɖr z sć a nîs litl dog nir ǎr hǎs I śd lîc t śo y! A litl brît-aid terịr, y nǒ, wɖ ǒ, sć loñ crli brǎn her! N it’l feć ʈñz ẃn y ʈro ɖm, n it’l sit p n beg fr its dinr, n ol sorts v ʈñz—I c’nt rmembr haf v ɖm—n it b’loñz t a farmr, y nǒ, n h sz it’s so ysfl, it’s wrʈ a hundṛd pǎndz! H sz it cilz ol ɖ rats n—ǒ dir!” craid Alis in a soṛfl ton, “I’m afreid I’v ofndd it agn!” Fr ɖ Mǎs wz swimñ awe fṛm hr az hard az it cd g, n mcñ qt a cmośn in ɖ pūl az it wnt.
So ś cōld softli aftr it, “Mǎs dir! D cm bac agn, n w w’nt tōc abt cats or dogz îɖr, f y d’nt lîc ɖm!” Ẃn ɖ Mǎs hŕd ɖs, it trnd rnd n swam slǒli bac t hr: its fes wz qt pel (wɖ paśn, Alis ʈt), n it sd in a lo tremḅlñ vôs, “Let s gt t ɖ śor, n ɖen I’l tel y mî hisṭri, n y’l unḍstand ẃ it z I het cats n dogz.”
It wz hî tîm t g, fr ɖ pūl wz gtñ qt crǎdd wɖ ɖ brdz n animlz ɖt hd fōḷn intu it: ɖr wr a Duc n a Dǒdo, a Lōri n an Īglit, n sevṛl uɖr krịs crīćrz. Alis léd ɖ we, n ɖ hol parti swam t ɖ śor.
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