(Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – Chapter IX: The Mock Turtle’s Story – by Lewis Carroll, transcribed into Ñspel, a new way of spelling devised by Frank Johnson. With audio accompaniment.)
“Y
c’nt ʈnc hǎ glad I am t si y agn, y dir old ʈñ!” sd ɖ Dućis, az ś tuct hr arm afx́ṇtli intu Alis’z, n ɖe wōct of tgɖr.
Alis wz vri glad t fînd hr in sć a pleznt tmpr, n ʈt t hrslf ɖt phps it wz onli ɖ pépr ɖt hd md hr so savij ẃn ɖe met in ɖ cićn.
“Ẃn I’m a Dućis,” ś sd t hrslf, (nt in a vri hopfl ton ɖo), “I w’nt hv eni pépr in mî cićn at ol. Sūp dz vri wel wɖt—Mbi it’s olwz pépr ɖt mcs ppl hot-tmprd,” ś wnt on, vri mć plizd at hvñ faund ǎt a ny cnd v rūl, “n viṇgr ɖt mcs ɖm sǎr—n cammîl ɖt mcs ɖm bitr—n—n barliśŭgr n sć ʈñz ɖt mc ćildṛn swīt-tmprd. I onli wś ppl ń ɖt: ɖen ɖe wd’nt b so stinji abt it, y nǒ—”
Ś hd qt fgotn ɖ Dućis bî ɖs tîm, n wz a litl startld ẃn ś hŕd hr vôs clos t hr ir. “Y’r ʈncñ abt smʈñ, mî dir, n ɖt mcs y fget t tōc. I c’nt tel y jst nǎ ẃt ɖ moṛl v ɖt z, bt I śl rmembr it in a bit.”
“Phps it hz’nt wn,” Alis vnćrd t rmarc.
“Tut, tut, ćîld!” sd ɖ Dućis. “Evrʈñ’z got a moṛl, f onli y cn fînd it.” N ś sqizd hrslf p closr t Alis’z sîd az ś spouc.
Alis dd nt mć lîc cīpñ so clos t hr: frst, bcz ɖ Dućis wz vri ugli; n secndli, bcz ś wz xacli ɖ rît hît t rest hr ćin upn Alis’z śoldr, n it wz an uncumf̣tbli śarp ćin. Hvr, ś dd nt lîc t b rūd, so ś bòr it az wel az ś cd.
“Ɖ gem’z gwñ on rɖr betr nǎ,” ś sd, bî we v cīpñ p ɖ convseśn a litl.
“’tiz so,” sd ɖ Dućis: “n ɖ moṛl v ɖt z—‘Ǒ, ’tiz luv, ’tiz luv, ɖt mcs ɖ wrld g rnd!’”
“Smbdi sd,” Alis ẃisprd, “ɖt it’s dn bî evrbdi mîndñ ɖer ǒn biznis!”
“Ā, wel! It mīnz mć ɖ sem ʈñ,” sd ɖ Dućis, digñ hr śarp litl ćin intu Alis’z śoldr az ś add, “n ɖ moṛl v ɖt z—‘Tec cer v ɖ sns, n ɖ sǎndz wl tec cer v ɖmslvz’.”
“Hǎ fond ś z v fîndñ moṛlz in ʈñz!” Alis ʈt t hrslf.
“I der se y’r wunḍrñ ẃ I d’nt pt mî arm rnd yr weist,” ɖ Dućis sd aftr a pōz: “ɖ rīzn z, ɖt I’m dǎtfl abt ɖ tmpr v yr flamngo. Śl I trî ɖ xpeṛmnt?”
“H mt bît,” Alis cōśsli rplaid, nt fīlñ at ol añśs t hv ɖ xpeṛmnt traid.
“Vri tru,” sd ɖ Dućis: “fḷmngoz n musṭd bʈ bît. N ɖ moṛl v ɖt z—‘Brdz v a feɖr floc tgɖr’.”
“Onli musṭd z’nt a brd,” Alis rmarct.
“Rît, az yźl,” sd ɖ Dućis: “ẃt a clir we y hv v ptñ ʈñz!”
“It’s a minṛl, I ʈnc,” sd Alis.
“V cors it z,” sd ɖ Dućis, hu sīmd redi t agri t evrʈñ ɖt Alis sd; “ɖr’z a larj musṭdmain nir hir. N ɖ moṛl v ɖt z—‘Ɖ mor ɖr z v mîn, ɖ les ɖr z v yrz’.”
“Ǒ, I nǒ!” xclemd Alis, hu hd nt atndd t ɖs last rmarc, “it’s a vejtbl. It dz’nt lc lîc wn, bt it z.”
“I qt agri wɖ y,” sd ɖ Dućis; “n ɖ moṛl v ɖt z—‘B ẃt y wd sīm t b”—or f y’d lîc it pt mor simpli—‘Nvr imajn yrslf nt t b uɖwz ɖn ẃt it mt apir t uɖrz ɖt ẃt y wr or mt hv bn wz nt uɖwz ɖn ẃt y hd bn wd hv apird t ɖm t b uɖwz’.”
“I ʈnc I śd unḍstand ɖt betr,” Alis sd vri p’lîtli, “f I hd it ritn dǎn: bt I c’nt qt folo it az y se it.”
“Ɖt’s nʈñ t ẃt I cd se f I ćouz,” ɖ Dućis rplaid, in a plizd ton.
“Pre d’nt trubl yrslf t se it eni longr ɖn ɖt,” sd Alis.
“Ǒ, d’nt tōc abt trubl!” sd ɖ Dućis. “I mc y a preznt v evrʈñ I’v sd az yt.”
“A ćīp sort v preznt!” ʈt Alis. “I’m glad ɖe d’nt gv brʈde preznts lîc ɖt!” Bt ś dd nt vnćr t se it ǎt lǎd.
“Ʈncñ agn?” ɖ Dućis asct, wɖ anɖr dig v hr śarp litl ćin.
“I’v a rît t ʈnc,” sd Alis śarpli, fr ś wz bginñ t fīl a litl wurid.
“Jst abt az mć rît,” sd ɖ Dućis, “az pigz hv t flî; n ɖ m—”
Bt hir, t Alis’z gret s’prîz, ɖ Dućis’z vôs daid awe, īvn in ɖ midl v hr fevrit wrd “moṛl,” n ɖ arm ɖt wz linct intu hrz bgan t trembl. Alis lct p, n ɖr std ɖ Qīn in frunt v ɖm, wɖ hr armz foldd, frǎnñ lîc a ʈundrstorm.
“A fîn de, yr Maɉsti!” ɖ Dućis bgan in a lo, wìc vôs.
“Nǎ, I gv y fer wornñ,” śǎtd ɖ Qīn, stampñ on ɖ grǎnd az ś spouc; “îɖr y or yr hed mst b of, n ɖt in abt haf no tîm! Tec yr ćôs!”
Ɖ Dućis tc hr ćôs, n wz gn in a momnt.
“Let’s g on wɖ ɖ gem,” ɖ Qīn sd t Alis; n Alis wz tù mć frîtnd t se a wrd, bt slǒli foloud hr bac t ɖ crocegrǎnd.
Ɖ uɖr gests hd tecn advantij v ɖ Qīn’z absns, n wr restñ in ɖ śêd: hvr, ɖ momnt ɖe sw hr, ɖe hurid bac t ɖ gem, ɖ Qīn mirli rmarcñ ɖt a momnt’s dle wd cost ɖm ɖer lîvz.
Ol ɖ tîm ɖe wr pleyñ ɖ Qīn nvr left of qoṛlñ wɖ ɖ uɖr pleyrz, n śǎtñ “Of wɖ hiz hed!” or “Of wɖ hr hed!” Ɖoz hūm ś sntnst wr tecn intu cusṭdi bî ɖ soljrz, hu v cors hd t līv of biyñ arćz t d ɖs, so ɖt bî ɖ end v haf an aur or so ɖr wr no arćz left, n ol ɖ pleyrz, xpt ɖ Cñ, ɖ Qīn, n Alis, wr in cusṭdi n undr sntns v x’kśn.
Ɖen ɖ Qīn left of, qt ǎt v breʈ, n sd t Alis, “Hv y sìn ɖ Moctrtl yt?”
“No,” sd Alis. “I d’nt īvn nǒ ẃt a Moctrtl z.”
“It’s ɖ ʈñ Moctrtl Sūp z md fṛm,” sd ɖ Qīn.
“I nvr sw wn, or hŕd v wn,” sd Alis.
“Cm on, ɖen,” sd ɖ Qīn, “n h śl tel y hiz hisṭri,”
Az ɖe wōct of tgɖr, Alis hŕd ɖ Cñ se in a lo vôs, t ɖ cumṗni jenṛli, “Y r ol pardnd.” “Cm, ɖt’s a gd ʈñ!” ś sd t hrslf, fr ś hd flt qt unhapi at ɖ numbr v x’kśnz ɖ Qīn hd ordrd.
Ɖe vri sn cem upn a Grifn, layñ fast aslip in ɖ sún. (F y d’nt nǒ ẃt a Grifn z, lc at ɖ picćr.) “P, lezi ʈñ!” sd ɖ Qīn, “n tec ɖs yuñ ledi t si ɖ Moctrtl, n t hír hiz hisṭri. I mst g bac n si aftr sm x’kśnz I hv ordrd”; n ś wōct of, līvñ Alis alon wɖ ɖ Grifn. Alis dd nt qt lîc ɖ lc v ɖ crīćr, bt on ɖ hol ś ʈt it wd b qt az sef t ste wɖ it az t g aftr ɖt savij Qīn: so ś wêtd.
Ɖ Grifn sat p n rubd its îz: ɖen it woćt ɖ Qīn tl ś wz ǎt v sît: ɖen it ćucld. “Ẃt fun!” sd ɖ Grifn, haf t itslf, haf t Alis.
“Ẃt z ɖ fun?” sd Alis.
“Ẃ, ś,” sd ɖ Grifn. “It’s ol hr fansi, ɖt: ɖe nvr x’kts nbdi, y nǒ. Cm on!”
“Evrbdi sz ‘cm on!’ hir,” ʈt Alis, az ś wnt slǒli aftr it: “I nvr wz so ordrd abt in ol mî lîf, nvr!”
Ɖe hd nt gn far bfr ɖe sw ɖ Moctrtl in ɖ distns, sitñ sad n lonli on a litl lej v roc, n, az ɖe cem nirr, Alis cd hír him sayñ az f hiz hart wd brec. Ś pitid him dīpli. “Ẃt z hiz soro?” ś asct ɖ Grifn, n ɖ Grifn ansrd, vri nirli in ɖ sem wrdz az bfr, “It’s ol hiz fansi, ɖt: h hz’nt got no soro, y nǒ. Cm on!”
So ɖe wnt p t ɖ Moctrtl, hu lct at ɖm wɖ larj îz fl v tirz, bt sd nʈñ.
“Ɖs hir yuñ ledi,” sd ɖ Grifn, “ś wonts fr t nǒ yr hisṭri, ś d.”
“I’l tel it hr,” sd ɖ Moctrtl in a dīp, holo ton: “sit dǎn, bʈ v y, n d’nt spīc a wrd tl I’v finiśt.”
So ɖe sat dǎn, n nbdi spouc fr sm minits. Alis ʈt t hrslf, “I d’nt si hǎ h cn evr finiś, f h dz’nt bgin.” Bt ś wêtd peśntli.
“Wns,” sd ɖ Moctrtl at last, wɖ a dīp sai, “I wz a riyl Trtl.”
Ɖz wrdz wr foloud bî a vri loñ sîḷns, brocn onli bî an oceźnl xcḷmeśn v “Hɉcr!” fṛm ɖ Grifn, n ɖ constnt hevi sobñ v ɖ Moctrtl. Alis wz vri nirli gtñ p n seyñ, “Ʈanc y, sr, fr yr inṭrestñ stori,” bt ś cd nt hlp ʈncñ ɖr mst b mor t cm, so ś sat stil n sd nʈñ.
“Ẃn w wr litl,” ɖ Moctrtl wnt on at last, mor cāmli, ɖo stl sobñ a litl nǎ n ɖen, “w wnt t scūl in ɖ sì. Ɖ mastr wz an old Trtl—w yst t cōl him Torṭs—”
“Ẃ dd y cōl him Torṭs, f h wz’nt wn?” Alis asct.
“W cōld him Torṭs bcz h tòt s,” sd ɖ Moctrtl angṛli: “riyli y r vri dul!”
“Y òt t b aśemd v yrslf fr ascñ sć a simpl qsćn,” add ɖ Grifn; n ɖen ɖe bʈ sat sîḷnt n lct at pur Alis, hu flt redi t snc intu ɖ rʈ. At last ɖ Grifn sd t ɖ Moctrtl, “Drîv on, old felo! D’nt b ol de abt it!” n h wnt on in ɖz wrdz:
“Yes, w wnt t scūl in ɖ sì, ɖo y m’nt b’liv it—”
“I nvr sd I dd’nt!” inṭruptd Alis.
“Y dd,” sd ɖ Moctrtl.
“Hold yr tuñ!” add ɖ Grifn, bfr Alis cd spīc agn. Ɖ Moctrtl wnt on.
“W hd ɖ bst v edyceśnz—in fact, w wnt t scūl evri de—”
“I’v bn t a dêscūl, tù,” sd Alis; “y nīd’nt b so prǎd az ol ɖt.”
“Wɖ xtraz?” asct ɖ Moctrtl a litl añśsli.
“Yes,” sd Alis, “w lrnt Frenć n ḿzic.”
“N wośñ?” sd ɖ Moctrtl.
“Srtnli nt!” sd Alis indignntli.
“Ā! ɖen yrz wz’nt a riyli gd scūl,” sd ɖ Moctrtl in a ton v gret rlif. “Nǎ at ǎrz ɖe hd at ɖ end v ɖ bíl, “Frenć, ḿzic, n wośñ—xtra.”
“Y cd’nt hv wontd it mć,” sd Alis; “livñ at ɖ botm v ɖ sì.”
“I cd’nt aford t lrn it.” sd ɖ Moctrtl wɖ a sai. “I onli tc ɖ reğlr cors.”
“Ẃt wz ɖt?” inqîrd Alis.
“Rīlñ n Rîɖñ, v cors, t bgin wɖ,” ɖ Moctrtl rplaid; “n ɖen ɖ difṛnt branćz v Ariʈṃtic—Ambiśn, Dstrax́n, Uglif̣ceśn, n D’riźn.”
“I nvr hŕd v “Uglif̣ceśn,” Alis vnćrd t se. “Ẃt z it?”
Ɖ Grifn liftd p bʈ its pwz in s’prîz. “Ẃt! Nvr hŕd v ugḷfayñ!” it xclemd. “Y nǒ ẃt t byṭfî z, I s’poz?”
“Yes,” sd Alis dǎtf̣li: “it mīnz—t—mc—enʈñ—pritịr.”
“Wel, ɖen,” ɖ Grifn wnt on, “f y d’nt nǒ ẃt t ugḷfî z, y r a simpltn.”
Alis dd nt fīl incurijd t asc eni mor qsćnz abt it, so ś trnd t ɖ Moctrtl, n sd “Ẃt els hd y t lrn?”
“Wel, ɖr wz Misṭri,” ɖ Moctrtl rplaid, cǎntñ of ɖ subjicts on hiz flaprz, “—Misṭri, enćnt n modn, wɖ Siogṛfi: ɖen Drōlñ—ɖ Drōlñmastr wz an old congr-īl, ɖt yst t cm wns a wīc: h tòt s Drōlñ, Strećñ, n Fentñ in Côlz.”
“Ẃt wz ɖt lîc?” sd Alis.
“Wel, I c’nt śo it y mslf,” ɖ Moctrtl sd: “I’m tù stif. N ɖ Grifn nvr lrnt it.”
“Hd’nt tîm,” sd ɖ Grifn: “I wnt t ɖ Clasicsmastr, ɖo. H wz an old crab, h wz.”
“I nvr wnt t him,” ɖ Moctrtl sd wɖ a sai: “h tòt Lafñ n Grīf, ɖe yst t se.”
“So h dd, so h dd,” sd ɖ Grifn, sayñ in hiz trn; n bʈ crīćrz hid ɖer fesz in ɖer pwz.
“N hǎ mni aurz a de dd y d lésnz?” sd Alis, in a huri t ćenj ɖ subjict.
“Ten aurz ɖ frst de,” sd ɖ Moctrtl: “nîn ɖ nxt, n so on.”
“Ẃt a krịs plan!” xclemd Alis.
“Ɖt’s ɖ rīzn ɖ’r cōld lésnz,” ɖ Grifn rmarct: “bcz ɖe lesn fṛm de t de.”
Ɖs wz qt a ny îdīa t Alis, n ś ʈt it ovr a litl bfr ś md hr nxt rmarc. “Ɖen ɖ ilevnʈ de mst hv bn a hoḷde?”
“V cors it wz,” sd ɖ Moctrtl.
“N hǎ dd y manij on ɖ twelfʈ?” Alis wnt on īgrli.
“Ɖt’s inuf abt lésnz,” ɖ Grifn inṭruptd in a vri dsîdd ton: “tel hr smʈñ abt ɖ gemz nǎ.”
