(Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – Chapter VII: A Mad Tea-Party – by Lewis Carroll, transcribed into Ñspel, a new way of spelling devised by Frank Johnson. With audio accompaniment.)
Ɖ
r wz a tebl set ǎt undr a tri in frunt v ɖ hǎs, n ɖ Marć Hér n ɖ Hatr wr hvñ ti at it: a Dormǎs wz sitñ btwn ɖm, fast aslip, n ɖ uɖr tū wr yzñ it az a cŭśn, restñ ɖer elboz on it, n tōcñ ovr its hed. “Vri uncumf̣tbl fr ɖ Dormǎs,” ʈt Alis; “onli, az it’s aslip, I s’poz it dz’nt mînd.”
Ɖ tebl wz a larj wn, bt ɖ ʈri wr ol crǎdd tgɖr at wn cornr v it: “No rūm! No rūm!” ɖe craid ǎt ẃn ɖe sw Alis cmñ. “Ɖr’z plenti v rūm!” sd Alis indignntli, n ś sat dǎn in a larj armćer at wn end v ɖ tebl.
“Hv sm wîn,” ɖ Marć Hér sd in an incuṛjñ ton.
Alis lct ol rnd ɖ tebl, bt ɖr wz nʈñ on it bt ti. “I d’nt si eni wîn,” ś rmarct.
“Ɖr z’nt eni,” sd ɖ Marć Hér.
“Ɖen it wz’nt vri sivl v y t ofr it,” sd Alis angṛli.
“It wz’nt vri sivl v y t sit dǎn wɖt biyñ invîtd,” sd ɖ Marć Hér.
“I dd’nt nǒ it wz yr tebl,” sd Alis; “it’s leid fr a gret mni mor ɖn ʈri.”
“Yr her wonts cutñ,” sd ɖ Hatr. H hd bn lcñ at Alis fr sm tîm wɖ gret krioṣti, n ɖs wz hiz frst spīć.
“Y śd lrn nt t mc prsnl rmarcs,” Alis sd wɖ sm sveṛti; “it’s vri rūd.”
Ɖ Hatr opnd hiz îz vri wîd on hírñ ɖs; bt ol h sd wz, “Ẃ z a revn lîc a raitñdesc?”
“Cm, w śl hv sm fun nǎ!” ʈt Alis. “I’m glad ɖ’v bgun ascñ ridlz.—I b’liv I cn ges ɖt,” ś add alǎd.
“D y mīn ɖt y ʈnc y cn fînd ǎt ɖ ansr t it?” sd ɖ Marć Hér.
“Xacli so,” sd Alis.
“Ɖen y śd se ẃt y mīn,” ɖ Marć Hér wnt on.
“I d,” Alis hesṭli rplaid; “at līst—at līst I mīn ẃt I se—ɖt’s ɖ sem ʈñ, y nǒ.”
“Nt ɖ sem ʈñ a bit!” sd ɖ Hatr. “Y mt jst az wel se ɖt ‘I si ẃt I īt’ z ɖ sem ʈñ az ‘I īt ẃt I si’!”
“Y mt jst az wel se,” add ɖ Marć Hér, “ɖt ‘I lîc ẃt I gt’ z ɖ sem ʈñ az ‘I gt ẃt I lîc’!”
“Y mt jst az wel se,” add ɖ Dormǎs, hu sīmd t b tōcñ in hiz slīp, “ɖt ‘I briɖ ẃn I slīp’ z ɖ sem ʈñ az ‘I slīp ẃn I briɖ’!”
“It z ɖ sem ʈñ wɖ y,” sd ɖ Hatr, n hir ɖ convseśn dropt, n ɖ parti sat sîḷnt fr a minit, ẃl Alis ʈt ovr ol ś cd rmembr abt revnz n raitñdescs, ẃć wz’nt mć.
Ɖ Hatr wz ɖ frst t brec ɖ sîḷns. “Ẃt de v ɖ munʈ z it?” h sd, trnñ t Alis: h hd tecn hiz woć ǎt v hiz pocit, n wz lcñ at it unīẓli, śecñ it evri nǎ n ɖen, n holdñ it t hiz ir.
Alis cnsidrd a litl, n ɖen sd “Ɖ forʈ.”
“Tū dez roñ!” said ɖ Hatr. “I tld y butr wd’nt sūt ɖ wrcs!” h add lcñ angṛli at ɖ Marć Hér.
“It wz ɖ bst butr,” ɖ Marć Hér mīcli rplaid.
“Yes, bt sm crumz mst hv got in az wel,” ɖ Hatr grumbld: “y śd’nt hv pt it in wɖ ɖ brednîf.”
Ɖ Marć Hér tc ɖ woć n lct at it glūṃli: ɖen h dipt it intu hiz cup v ti, n lct at it agn: bt h cd ʈnc v nʈñ betr t se ɖn hiz frst rmarc, “It wz ɖ bst butr, y nǒ.”
Alis hd bn lcñ ovr hiz śoldr wɖ sm krioṣti. “Ẃt a funi woć!” ś rmarct. “It tlz ɖ de v ɖ munʈ, n dz’nt tel ẃt o’cloc it z!”
“Ẃ śd it?” mutrd ɖ Hatr. “Dz yr woć tel y ẃt yir it z?”
“V cors nt,” Alis rplaid vri reḍli: “bt ɖt’s bcz it stez ɖ sem yir fr sć a loñ tîm tgɖr.”
“Ẃć z jst ɖ ces wɖ mîn,” sd ɖ Hatr.
Alis flt dredf̣li puzld. Ɖ Hatr’z rmarc sīmd t hv no sort v mīnñ in it, n yt it wz srtnli Ñgliś. “I d’nt qt unḍstand y,” ś sd, az p’lîtli az ś cd.
“Ɖ Dormǎs z aslip agn,” sd ɖ Hatr, n h pord a litl hot ti upn its nǒz.
Ɖ Dormǎs śc its hed impeśntli, n sd, wɖt oṗnñ its îz, “V cors, v cors; jst ẃt I wz gwñ t rmarc mslf.”
“Hv y gést ɖ ridl yt?” ɖ Hatr sd, trnñ t Alis agn.
“No, I gv it p,” Alis rplaid: “ẃt’s ɖ ansr?”
“I hv’nt ɖ slîtist îdīa,” sd ɖ Hatr.
“Nr I,” sd ɖ Marć Hér.
Alis said wiṛli. “I ʈnc y mt d smʈñ betr wɖ ɖ tîm,” ś sd, “ɖn west it in ascñ ridlz ɖt hv no ansrz.”
“F y ń Tîm az wel az I d,” sd ɖ Hatr, “y wd’nt tōc abt westñ it. It’s him.”
“I d’nt nǒ ẃt y mīn,” sd Alis.
“V cors y d’nt!” ɖ Hatr sd, tosñ hiz hed cntmć̣sli. “I der se y nvr īvn spouc t Tîm!”
“Phps nt,” Alis cōśsli rplaid: “bt I nǒ I hv t bìt tîm ẃn I lrn ḿzic.”
“Ā! ɖt acǎnts fr it,” sd ɖ Hatr. “H w’nt stand bìtñ. Nǎ, f y onli cept on gd trmz wɖ him, h’d d olmst enʈñ y lîct wɖ ɖ cloc. Fr instns, s’poz it wr nîn o’cloc in ɖ mornñ, jst tîm t bgin lésnz: y’d onli hv t ẃispr a hint t Tîm, n rnd gz ɖ cloc in a twnclñ! Half-past wn, tîm fr dinr!”
(“I onli wś it wz,” ɖ Marć Hér sd t itslf in a ẃispr.)
“Ɖt wd b grand, srtnli,” sd Alis ʈtf̣li: “bt ɖen—I śd’nt b hungri fr it, y nǒ.”
“Nt at frst, phps,” sd ɖ Hatr: “bt y cd cīp it t half-past wn az loñ az y lîct.”
“Z ɖt ɖ we y manij?” Alis asct.
Ɖ Hatr śc hiz hed mōrnf̣li. “Nt I!” h rplaid. “W qoṛld last Marć—jst bfr h wnt mad, y nǒ—” (pôntñ wɖ hiz tīspūn at ɖ Marć Hér,) “—it wz at ɖ gret conṣt gvn bî ɖ Qīn v Hārts, n I hd t sñ
‘Twncl, twncl, litl bat!
Hǎ I wundr ẃt y’r at!’
Y nǒ ɖ soñ, phps?”
“I’v hŕd smʈñ lîc it,” sd Alis.
“It gz on, y nǒ,” ɖ Hatr cntinyd, “in ɖs we:—
‘P abv ɖ wrld y flî,
Lîc a tītre in ɖ scî.
Twncl, twncl—’”
Hir ɖ Dormǎs śc itslf, n bgan sññ in its slīp “Twncl, twncl, twncl, twncl—” n wnt on so loñ ɖt ɖe hd t pinć it t mc it stop.
“Wel, I’d hardli finiśt ɖ frst vrs,” sd ɖ Hatr, “ẃn ɖ Qīn jumt p n bȍld ǎt, ‘H’z mrḍrñ ɖ tîm! Of wɖ hiz hed!’”
“Hǎ dredf̣li savij!” xclemd Alis.
“N evr sins ɖt,” ɖ Hatr wnt on in a mōrnfl ton, “h w’nt d a ʈñ I asc! It’s olwz six o’cloc nǎ.”
A brît îdīa cem intu Alis’z hed. “Z ɖt ɖ rīzn so mni tīʈñz r pt ǎt hir?” ś asct.
“Yes, ɖt’s it,” sd ɖ Hatr wɖ a sai: “it’s olwz tītîm, n w’v no tîm t woś ɖ ʈñz btwn ẃlz.”
“Ɖen y cīp muvñ rnd, I s’poz?” sd Alis.
“Xacli so,” sd ɖ Hatr: “az ɖ ʈñz gt yzd p.”
“Bt ẃt hapnz ẃn y cm t ɖ bginñ agn?” Alis vnćrd t asc.
“S’poz w ćenj ɖ subjict,” ɖ Marć Hér inṭruptd, yōnñ. “I’m gtñ tîrd v ɖs. I vot ɖ yuñ ledi tlz s a stori.”
“I’m afreid I d’nt nǒ wn,” sd Alis, rɖr alarmd at ɖ pṛpozl.
“Ɖen ɖ Dormǎs śl!” ɖe bʈ craid. “Wec p, Dormǎs!” N ɖe pinćt it on bʈ sîdz at wns.
Ɖ Dormǎs slǒli opnd hiz îz. “I wz’nt aslip,” h sd in a hōrs, fībl vôs: “I hŕd evri wrd y feloz wr seyñ.”
“Tel s a stori!” sd ɖ Marć Hér.
“Yes, plīz d!” plīdd Alis.
“N b qc abt it,” add ɖ Hatr, “or y’l b aslip agn bfr it’s dn.”
“Wns upn a tîm ɖr wr ʈri litl sistrz,” ɖ Dormǎs bgan in a gret huri; “n ɖer nemz wr Elsi, Leisi, n Tili; n ɖe livd at ɖ botm v a wel—”
“Ẃt dd ɖe liv on?” sd Alis, hu olwz tc a gret inṭrest in qsćnz v ītñ n drincñ.
“Ɖe livd on trīcl,” sd ɖ Dormǎs, aftr ʈncñ a minit or tū.
“Ɖe cd’nt hv dn ɖt, y nǒ,” Alis jntli rmarct; “ɖ’d hv bn il.”
“So ɖe wr,” sd ɖ Dormǎs; “vri il.”
Alis traid t fansi t hrslf ẃt sć an xtrordnri we v livñ wd b lîc, bt it puzld hr tù mć, so ś wnt on: “Bt ẃ dd ɖe liv at ɖ botm v a wel?”
“Tec sm mor ti,” ɖ Marć Hér sd t Alis, vri ŕṇstli.
“I’v hd nʈñ yt,” Alis rplaid in an ofndd ton, “so I c’nt tec mor.”
“Y mīn y c’nt tec les,” sd ɖ Hatr: “it’s vri īzi t tec mor ɖn nʈñ.”
“Nbdi asct yr opińn,” sd Alis.
“Hu’z mcñ prsnl rmarcs nǎ?” ɖ Hatr asct trîumfntli.
Alis dd nt qt nǒ ẃt t se t ɖs: so ś hlpt hrslf t sm ti n bred-n-butr, n ɖen trnd t ɖ Dormǎs, n rpitd hr qsćn. “Ẃ dd ɖe liv at ɖ botm v a wel?”
Ɖ Dormǎs agn tc a minit or tū t ʈnc abt it, n ɖen sd, “It wz a trīclwel.”
“Ɖr’z no sć ʈñ!” Alis wz bginñ vri angṛli, bt ɖ Hatr n ɖ Marć Hér wnt “Śś! śś!” n ɖ Dormǎs sulc̣li rmarct, “F y c’nt b sivl, y’d betr finiś ɖ stori fr yrslf.”
“No, plīz g on!” Alis sd vri humbli; “I w’nt inṭrupt agn. I der se ɖr me b wn.”
“Wn, indd!” sd ɖ Dormǎs indignntli. Hvr, h cnsntd t g on. “N so ɖz ʈri litl sistrz—ɖe wr lrnñ t drw, y nǒ—”
“Ẃt dd ɖe drw?” sd Alis, qt fgetñ hr promis.
“Trīcl,” sd ɖ Dormǎs, wɖt cnsiḍrñ at ol ɖs tîm.
“I wont a clīn cup,” inṭruptd ɖ Hatr: “let’s ol muv wn ples on.”
H muvd on az h spouc, n ɖ Dormǎs foloud him: ɖ Marć Hér muvd intu ɖ Dormǎs’z ples, n Alis rɖr unwilñli tc ɖ ples v ɖ Marć Hér. Ɖ Hatr wz ɖ onli wn hu got eni advantij fṛm ɖ ćenj: n Alis wz a gd dīl wrs of ɖn bfr, az ɖ Marć Hér hd jst upset ɖ milcjug intu hiz plet.
Alis dd nt wś t ofnd ɖ Dormǎs agn, so ś bgan vri cōśsli: “Bt I d’nt unḍstand. Ẃr dd ɖe drw ɖ trīcl fṛm?”
“Y cn drw wōtr ǎt v a wōtrwel,” sd ɖ Hatr; “so I śd ʈnc y cd drw trīcl ǎt v a trīclwel—ê, stypid?”
“Bt ɖe wr in ɖ wel,” Alis sd t ɖ Dormǎs, nt ćuzñ t notis ɖs last rmarc.
“V cors ɖe wr”, sd ɖ Dormǎs; “—wel in.”
Ɖs ansr so cnfyzd pur Alis, ɖt ś let ɖ Dormǎs g on fr sm tîm wɖt inṭruptñ it.
“Ɖe wr lrnñ t drw,” ɖ Dormǎs wnt on, yōnñ n rubñ its îz, fr it wz gtñ vri slīpi; “n ɖe drù ol manr v ʈñz—evrʈñ ɖt bginz wɖ an M—”
“Ẃ wɖ an M?” sd Alis.
“Ẃ nt?” sd ɖ Marć Hér.
Alis wz sîḷnt.
Ɖ Dormǎs hd clozd its îz bî ɖs tîm, n wz gwñ of intu a dǒz; bt, on biyñ pinćt bî ɖ Hatr, it wouc p agn wɖ a litl śrīc, n wnt on: “—ɖt bginz wɖ an M, sć az mǎstraps, n ɖ mūn, n meṃri, n mućnis—y nǒ y se ʈñz r ‘mć v a mućnis”—dd y evr si sć a ʈñ az a drw̃ v a mućnis?”
“Riyli, nǎ y asc m,” sd Alis, vri mć cnfyzd, “I d’nt ʈnc—”
“Ɖen y śd’nt tōc,” sd ɖ Hatr.
Ɖs pìs v rūdnis wz mor ɖn Alis cd ber: ś got p in gret dsgust, n wōct of; ɖ Dormǎs fél aslip instntli, n nɖr v ɖ uɖrz tc ɖ līst notis v hr gwñ, ɖo ś lct bac wns or twîs, haf hopñ ɖt ɖe wd cōl aftr hr: ɖ last tîm ś sw ɖm, ɖe wr trayñ t pt ɖ Dormǎs intu ɖ tīpot.
“At eni ret I’l nvr g ɖr agn!” sd Alis az ś pict hr we ʈru ɖ wŭd. “It’s ɖ styṗdist tīparti I evr wz at in ol mî lîf!”
Jst az ś sd ɖs, ś notist ɖt wn v ɖ triz hd a dor līdñ rît intu it. “Ɖt’s vri krịs!” ś ʈt. “Bt evrʈñ’z krịs tde. I ʈnc I me az wel g in at wns.” N in ś wnt.
Wns mor ś faund hrslf in ɖ loñ hōl, n clos t ɖ litl glas tebl. “Nǎ, I’l manij betr ɖs tîm,” ś sd t hrslf, n bgan bî tecñ ɖ litl goldn ci, n unlocñ ɖ dor ɖt léd intu ɖ gardn. Ɖen ś wnt t wrc niḅlñ at ɖ muśrum (ś hd cept a pìs v it in hr pocit) tl ś wz abt a ft hî: ɖen ś wōct dǎn ɖ litl pasij: n ɖen—ś faund hrslf at last in ɖ bytifl gardn, amñ ɖ brît flǎrbedz n ɖ cūl fǎntnz.
