(Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – Chapter X: The Lobster Quadrille – by Lewis Carroll, transcribed into Ñspel, a new way of spelling devised by Frank Johnson. With audio accompaniment.)
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Moctrtl said dīpli, n drù ɖ bac v wn flapr acrs hiz îz. H lct at Alis, n traid t spīc, bt fr a minit or tū sobz ćoct hiz vôs. “Sem az f h hd a bon in hiz ʈrot,” sd ɖ Grifn: n it set t wrc śecñ him n punćñ him in ɖ bac. At last ɖ Moctrtl rcuvrd hiz vôs, n, wɖ tirz runñ dǎn hiz ćīcs, h wnt on agn:—
“Y me nt hv livd mć undr ɖ sì—” (“I hv’nt,” sd Alis)—“n phps y wr nvr īvn intṛdyst t a lobstr—” (Alis bgan t se “I wns testd—” bt ćect hrslf hesṭli, n sd “No, nvr”) “—so y cn hv no îdīa ẃt a dlîtfl ʈñ a Lobstrqdril z!”
“No, indd,” sd Alis. “Ẃt sort v a dans z it?”
“Ẃ,” sd ɖ Grifn, “y frst form intu a lîn alñ ɖ sìśor—”
“Tū lînz!” craid ɖ Moctrtl. “Sìlz, trtlz, samn, n so on; ɖen, ẃn y’v clird ol ɖ jelifiś ǎt v ɖ we—”
“Ɖt jenṛli tecs sm tîm,” inṭruptd ɖ Grifn.
“—y advans twîs—”
“Ć wɖ a lobstr az a partnr!” craid ɖ Grifn.
“V cors,” ɖ Moctrtl sd: “advans twîs, set t partnrz—”
“—ćenj lobstrz, n rtîr in sem ordr,” cntinyd ɖ Grifn.
“Ɖen, y nǒ,” ɖ Moctrtl wnt on, “y ʈro ɖ—”
“Ɖ lobstrz!” śǎtd ɖ Grifn, wɖ a bǎnd intu ɖ er.
“—az far ǎt t sì az y cn—”
“Swim aftr ɖm!” scrīmd ɖ Grifn.
“Trn a suṃsōlt in ɖ sì!” craid ɖ Moctrtl, ceṗrñ wîldli abt.
“Ćenj lobstrz agn!” yeld ɖ Grifn at ɖ top v its vôs.
“Bac t land agn, n ɖt’s ol ɖ frst figr,” sd ɖ Moctrtl, sudnli dropñ hiz vôs; n ɖ tū crīćrz, hu hd bn jumpñ abt lîc mad ʈñz ol ɖs tîm, sat dǎn agn vri sadli n qaytli, n lct at Alis.
“It mst b a vri priti dans,” sd Alis timidli.
“Wd y lîc t si a litl v it?” sd ɖ Moctrtl.
“Vri mć indd,” sd Alis.
“Cm, let’s trî ɖ frst figr!” sd ɖ Moctrtl t ɖ Grifn. “W cn d wɖt lobstrz, y nǒ. Ẃć śl sñ?”
“Ǒ, y sñ,” sd ɖ Grifn. “I’v fgotn ɖ wrdz.”
So ɖe bgan soḷmli dansñ rnd n rnd Alis, evri nǎ n ɖen trédñ on hr toz ẃn ɖe pást tù clos, n wevñ ɖer fōrpwz t marc ɖ tîm, ẃl ɖ Moctrtl sañ ɖs, vri slǒli n sadli:—
“‘Wl y wōc a litl fastr?’ sd a ẃîtñ t a snel.
‘Ɖr’z a porṗs clos bhnd s, n h’z trédñ on mî teil.
Si hǎ īgrli ɖ lobstrz n ɖ trtlz ol advans!
Ɖe r wêtñ on ɖ śngl—wl y cm n jôn ɖ dans?
Wl y, w’nt y, wl y, w’nt y, wl y jôn ɖ dans?
Wl y, w’nt y, wl y, w’nt y, w’nt y jôn ɖ dans?
‘Y cn riyli hv no nośn hǎ dlîtfl it wl b
Ẃn ɖe tec s p n ʈro s, wɖ ɖ lobstrz, ǎt t sì!’
Bt ɖ snel rplaid ‘Tù far, tù far!’ n gev a lc ascans—
Sd h ʈanct ɖ ẃîtñ cîndli, bt h wd nt jôn ɖ dans.
Wd nt, cd nt, wd nt, cd nt, wd nt jôn ɖ dans.
Wd nt, cd nt, wd nt, cd nt, cd nt jôn ɖ dans.
‘Ẃt matrz it hǎ far w g?’ hiz sceli frend rplaid.
‘Ɖr z anɖr śor, y nǒ, upn ɖ uɖr sîd.
Ɖ frɖr of fṛm Ñgḷnd ɖ nirr z t Frans—
Ɖen trn nt pel, b’luvid snel, bt cm n jôn ɖ dans.
Wl y, w’nt y, wl y, w’nt y, wl y jôn ɖ dans?
Wl y, w’nt y, wl y, w’nt y, w’nt y jôn ɖ dans?’”
“Ʈanc y, it’s a vri inṭrestñ dans t woć,” sd Alis, fīlñ vri glad ɖt it wz ovr at last: “n I d so lîc ɖt krịs soñ abt ɖ ẃîtñ!”
“Ǒ, az t ɖ ẃîtñ,” sd ɖ Moctrtl, “ɖe—y’v sìn ɖm, v cors?”
“Yes,” sd Alis, “I’v ofn sìn ɖm at din—” ś ćect hrslf hesṭli.
“I d’nt nǒ ẃr Din me b,” sd ɖ Moctrtl, “bt f y’v sìn ɖm so ofn, v cors y nǒ ẃt ɖ’r lîc.”
“I b’liv so,” Alis rplaid ʈtf̣li. “Ɖe hv ɖer teilz in ɖer mǎɖz—n ɖ’r ol ovr crumz.”
“Y’r roñ abt ɖ crumz,” sd ɖ Moctrtl: “crumz wd ol woś of in ɖ sì. Bt ɖe hv ɖer teilz in ɖer mǎɖz; n ɖ rīzn z—” hir ɖ Moctrtl yōnd n śut hiz îz.—“Tel hr abt ɖ rīzn n ol ɖt,” h sd t ɖ Grifn.
“Ɖ rīzn z,” sd ɖ Grifn, “ɖt ɖe wd g wɖ ɖ lobstrz t ɖ dans. So ɖe got ʈroun ǎt t sì. So ɖe hd t fōl a loñ we. So ɖe got ɖer teilz fast in ɖer mǎɖz. So ɖe cd’nt gt ɖm ǎt agn. Ɖt’s ol.”
“Ʈanc y,” sd Alis, “it’s vri inṭrestñ. I nvr ń so mć abt a ẃîtñ bfr.”
“I cn tel y mor ɖn ɖt, f y lîc,” sd ɖ Grifn. “D y nǒ ẃ it’s cōld a ẃîtñ?”
“I nvr ʈt abt it,” sd Alis. “Ẃ?”
“It dz ɖ būts n śuz,” ɖ Grifn rplaid vri soḷmli.
Alis wz ʈuṛli puzld. “Dz ɖ būts n śuz!” ś rpitd in a wunḍrñ ton.
“Ẃ, ẃt r yr śuz dn wɖ?” sd ɖ Grifn. “I mīn, ẃt mcs ɖm so śîni?”
Alis lct dǎn at ɖm, n cnsidrd a litl bfr ś gev hr ansr. “Ɖ’r dn wɖ blacñ, I b’liv.”
“Būts n śuz undr ɖ sì,” ɖ Grifn wnt on in a dīp vôs, “r dn wɖ a ẃîtñ. Nǎ y nǒ.”
“N ẃt r ɖe md v?” Alis asct in a ton v gret krioṣti.
“Sǒlz n īlz, v cors,” ɖ Grifn rplaid rɖr impeśntli: “eni śrimp cd hv tld y ɖt.”
“F I’d bn ɖ ẃîtñ,” sd Alis, huz ʈts wr stl runñ on ɖ soñ, “I’d hv sd t ɖ porṗs, “Cīp bac, plīz: w d’nt wont y wɖ s!”
“Ɖe wr oblîjd t hv him wɖ ɖm,” ɖ Moctrtl sd: “no wîz fiś wd g enẃr wɖt a porṗs.”
“Wd’nt it riyli?” sd Alis in a ton v gret s’prîz.
“V cors nt,” sd ɖ Moctrtl: “ẃ, f a fiś cem t m, n tld m h wz gwñ a jrni, I śd se ‘Wɖ ẃt porṗs?’”
“D’nt y mīn ‘prṗs’?” sd Alis.
“I mīn ẃt I se,” ɖ Moctrtl rplaid in an ofndd ton. N ɖ Grifn add “Cm, let’s hír sm v yr advnćrz.”
“I cd tel y mî advnćrz—bginñ fṛm ɖs mornñ,” sd Alis a litl timidli: “bt it’s no ys gwñ bac t yesṭde, bcz I wz a difṛnt prsn ɖen.”
“Xplen ol ɖt,” sd ɖ Moctrtl.
“No, no! Ɖ advnćrz frst,” sd ɖ Grifn in an impeśnt ton: “xpḷneśnz tec sć a dredfl tîm.”
So Alis bgan telñ ɖm hr advnćrz fṛm ɖ tîm ẃn ś frst sw ɖ Ẃît Rabit. Ś wz a litl nrṿs abt it jst at frst, ɖ tū crīćrz got so clos t hr, wn on ć sîd, n opnd ɖer îz n mǎɖz so vri wîd, bt ś gend curij az ś wnt on. Hr lisnrz wr prf̣cli qayt tl ś got t ɖ part abt hr rpitñ “Y r old, Faɖr Wiłm,” t ɖ Caṭpilr, n ɖ wrdz ol cmñ difṛnt, n ɖen ɖ Moctrtl drù a loñ breʈ, n sd “Ɖt’s vri krịs.”
“It’s ol abt az krịs az it cn b,” sd ɖ Grifn.
“It ol cem difṛnt!” ɖ Moctrtl rpitd ʈtf̣li. “I śd lîc t hír hr trî n rpit smʈñ nǎ. Tel hr t bgin.” H lct at ɖ Grifn az f h ʈt it hd sm cnd v oʈoṛti ovr Alis.
“Stand p n rpit ‘’tiz ɖ vôs v ɖ sluġd,’ sd ɖ Grifn.
“Hǎ ɖ crīćrz ordr wn abt, n mc wn rpit lésnz!” ʈt Alis; “I mt az wel b at scūl at wns.” Hvr, ś got p, n bgan t rpit it, bt hr hed wz so fl v ɖ Lobstrqdril, ɖt ś hardli ń ẃt ś wz seyñ, n ɖ wrdz cem vri qir indd:—
“’tiz ɖ vôs v ɖ Lobstr; I hŕd him dcler,
‘Y hv bect m tù brǎn, I mst śŭgr mî her.’
Az a duc wɖ its îlidz, so h wɖ hiz nǒz
Trimz hiz blt n hiz butnz, n trnz ǎt hiz toz.”
Ẃn ɖ sandz r ol drî, h z ge az a larc,
N wl tōc in cntmćs tonz v ɖ Śarc,
Bt, ẃn ɖ tîd rîzz n śarcs r arnd,
Hiz vôs hz a timid n treḿḷs sǎnd.
“Ɖt’s difṛnt fṛm ẃt I yst t se ẃn I wz a ćîld,” sd ɖ Grifn.
“Wel, I nvr hŕd it bfr,” sd ɖ Moctrtl; “bt it sǎndz uncomn nonsns.”
Alis sd nʈñ; ś hd sat dǎn wɖ hr fes in hr handz, wunḍrñ f enʈñ wd evr hapn in a naćṛl we agn.
“I śd lîc t hv it xplend,” sd ɖ Moctrtl.
“Ś c’nt xplen it,” sd ɖ Grifn hesṭli. “G on wɖ ɖ nxt vrs.”
“Bt abt hiz toz?” ɖ Moctrtl psistd. “Hǎ cd h trn ɖm ǎt wɖ hiz nǒz, y nǒ?”
“It’s ɖ frst pziśn in dansñ.” Alis sd; bt wz dredf̣li puzld bî ɖ hol ʈñ, n loñd t ćenj ɖ subjict.
“G on wɖ ɖ nxt vrs,” ɖ Grifn rpitd impeśntli: “it bginz “I pást bî hiz gardn.”
Alis dd nt der t dis’be, ɖo ś flt śr it wd ol cm roñ, n ś wnt on in a tremḅlñ vôs:—
“I pást bî hiz gardn, n marct, wɖ wn î,
Hǎ ɖ Ǎl n ɖ Panʈr wr śẹrñ a pî—
Ɖ Panʈr tc pîcrust, n grevi, n mìt,
Ẃl ɖ Ǎl hd ɖ diś az its śer v ɖ trīt.
Ẃn ɖ pî wz ol finiśt, ɖ Ǎl, az a būn,
Wz cîndli pmitd t pocit ɖ spūn:
Ẃl ɖ Panʈr rsivd nîf n forc wɖ a grǎl,
N cncludd ɖ banqit—”
“Ẃt z ɖ ys v rpitñ ol ɖt stuf,” ɖ Moctrtl inṭruptd, “f y d’nt xplen it az y g on? It’s bî far ɖ most cnfyzñ ʈñ I evr hŕd!”
“Yes, I ʈnc y’d betr līv of,” sd ɖ Grifn: n Alis wz onli tù glad t d so.
“Śl w trî anɖr figr v ɖ Lobstrqdril?” ɖ Grifn wnt on. “Or wd y lîc ɖ Moctrtl t sñ y a soñ?”
“Ǒ, a soñ, plīz, f ɖ Moctrtl wd b so cînd,” Alis rplaid, so īgrli ɖt ɖ Grifn sd, in a rɖr ofndd ton, “Hm! No acǎntñ fr tests! Sñ hr “Trtl Sūp,” wl y, old felo?”
Ɖ Moctrtl said dīpli, n bgan, in a vôs smtmz ćoct wɖ sobz, t sñ ɖs:—
“Bytifl Sūp, so rić n grīn,
Wêtñ in a hot t’rīn!
Hu fr sć dentiz wd nt stūp?
Sūp v ɖ īvnñ, bytifl Sūp!
Sūp v ɖ īvnñ, bytifl Sūp!
By—ūtifl Sū—ūp!
By—ūtifl Sū—ūp!
Sū—ūp v ɖ ī—ī—īvnñ,
Bytifl, bytifl Sūp!
“Bytifl Sūp! Hu cerz fr fiś,
Gem, or eni uɖr diś?
Hu wd nt gv ol els fr tū
Peniwrʈ onli v bytifl Sūp?
Peniwrʈ onli v bytifl Sūp?
By—ūtifl Sū—ūp!
By—ūtifl Sū—ūp!
Sū—ūp v ɖ ī—ī—īvnñ,
Bytifl, byti—FL SŪP!”
“Cōṛs agn!” craid ɖ Grifn, n ɖ Moctrtl hd jst bgun t rpit it, ẃn a crî v “Ɖ trîl’z bginñ!” wz hŕd in ɖ distns.
“Cm on!” craid ɖ Grifn, n, tecñ Alis bî ɖ hand, it hurid of, wɖt wêtñ fr ɖ end v ɖ soñ.
“Ẃt trîl z it?” Alis pantd az ś ran; bt ɖ Grifn onli ansrd “Cm on!” n ran ɖ fastr, ẃl mor n mor fentli cem, carid on ɖ brīz ɖt foloud ɖm, ɖ meḷnc̣li wrdz:—
“Sū—ūp v ɖ ī—ī—īvnñ,
Bytifl, bytifl Sūp!”
