FRANCNSTÎN | Mẹri Śeli | Ćaptrz 9–16

Ćaptrz:
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Nʈñ z mor penfl t ɖ hymn mînd ɖn, aftr ɖ fīlñz hv bn wrct p bî a qc s’xeśn v ivnts, ɖ ded cāmnis v inax́n n srtnti ẃć foloz n dprîvz ɖ soul bʈ v hop n fir. Justīn daid, ś restd, n I wz alîv. Ɖ blud floud frīli in mî veinz, bt a weit v dsper n rmors prest on mî hart ẃć nʈñ cd rmuv. Slīp fled fṛm mî îz; I wondrd lîc an īvl spirit, fr I hd cmitd dīdz v misćif bynd dscripśn hoṛbl, n mor, mć mor (I pswedd mslf) wz yt bhnd. Yt mî hart oṿfloud wɖ cîndnis n ɖ luv v vrću. I hd bgun lîf wɖ bnevlnt intnśnz n ʈrstd fr ɖ momnt ẃn I śd pt ɖm in practis n mc mslf ysfl t mî felobiyñz. Nǎ ol wz blastd; instd v ɖt sreṇti v conśns ẃć alaud m t lc bac upn ɖ past wɖ slf-saṭsfax́n, n fṛm ɖns t gaɖr promis v ny hops, I wz sizd bî rmors n ɖ sns v gilt, ẃć hurid m awe t a hel v intns torćrz sć az no lanḡj cn dscrîb.

Ɖs stet v mînd préid upn mî hlʈ, ẃć hd phps nvr intîrli rcuvrd fṛm ɖ frst śoc it hd sstend. I śund ɖ fes v man; ol sǎnd v jô or cmplesnsi wz torćr t m; soḷtyd wz mî onli conṣleśn—dīp, darc, deʈlîc soḷtyd.Mî faɖr obzrvd wɖ pen ɖ olṭreśn psptbl in mî disṗziśn n habits n indevrd bî arğmnts ddyst fṛm ɖ fīlñz v hiz srīn conśns n giltlis lîf t inspîr m wɖ forttyd n awecn in m ɖ curij t dspel ɖ darc clǎd ẃć brūdd ovr m. “D y ʈnc, Victr,” sd h, “ɖt I d nt sufr olso? Nwn cd luv a ćîld mor ɖn I luvd yr bruɖr”—tirz cem intu hiz îz az h spouc—”bt z it nt a dyti t ɖ svîvrz ɖt w śd rfren fṛm ōgmntñ ɖer unhapinis bî an apiṛns v imodṛt grīf? It z olso a dyti oud t yrslf, fr xesiv soro privnts impruvmnt or injômnt, or īvn ɖ disćarj v dêli ysflnis, wɖt ẃć no man z fit fr ssayti.”

Ɖs advîs, olɖo gd, wz toṭli in’plicbl t mî ces; I śd hv bn ɖ frst t hîd mî grīf n consol mî frendz f rmors hd nt mngld its bitrnis, n terr its alarm, wɖ mî uɖr snseśnz. Nǎ I cd onli ansr mî faɖr wɖ a lc v dsper n indevr t hîd mslf fṛm hiz vy.

Abt ɖs tîm w rtîrd t ǎr hǎs at Belrīv. Ɖs ćenj wz ptiklrli agriybl t m. Ɖ śutñ v ɖ gets reğlrli at ten o’cloc n ɖ imposbiḷti v rmenñ on ɖ lec aftr ɖt aur hd rendrd ǎr rezidns wɖn ɖ wōlz v Jnīva vri rcsm t m. I wz nǎ fri. Ofn, aftr ɖ rest v ɖ faṃli hd rtîrd fr ɖ nît, I tc ɖ bot n pást mni aurz upn ɖ wōtr. Smtmz, wɖ mî sêlz set, I wz carid bî ɖ wind; n smtmz, aftr rowñ intu ɖ midl v ɖ lec, I left ɖ bot t psy its ǒn cors n gev we t mî ǒn mizṛbl rflex́nz. I wz ofn tmtd, ẃn ol wz at pīs arnd m, n I ɖ onli unqayt ʈñ ɖt wondrd restlis in a sīn so bytifl n hevnli—f I xpt sm bat, or ɖ frogz, huz harś n inṭruptd crǒcñ wz hŕd onli ẃn I aproćt ɖ śor—ofn, I se, I wz tmtd t plunj intu ɖ sîḷnt lec, ɖt ɖ wōtrz mt cloz ovr m n mî c’laṃtiz fr evr. Bt I wz rstrend, ẃn I ʈt v ɖ hrǒic n suf̣rñ Iliẓbʈ, hūm I tndrli luvd, n huz xistns wz baund p in mîn. I ʈt olso v mî faɖr n svîvñ bruɖr; śd I bî mî bes dzrśn līv ɖm xpozd n unpṛtctd t ɖ malis v ɖ fīnd hūm I hd let lūs amñ ɖm?

At ɖz momnts I wept bitrli n wśt ɖt pīs wd rvizit mî mînd onli ɖt I mt aford ɖm conṣleśn n hapinis. Bt ɖt cd nt b. Rmors xtnḡśt evri hop. I hd bn ɖ oʈr v unoltṛbl īvlz, n I livd in dêli fir lest ɖ monstr hūm I hd crietd śd prṗtret sm ny wicidnis. I hd an obskr fīlñ ɖt ol wz nt ovr n ɖt h wd stl cmit sm signl crîm, ẃć bî its inorṃti śd olmst ifes ɖ rec̣lex́n v ɖ past. Ɖr wz olwz scop fr fir so loñ az enʈñ I luvd rmend bhnd. Mî abhoṛns v ɖs fīnd canot b cnsivd. Ẃn I ʈt v him I náśt mî tīʈ, mî îz bcem inflemd, n I ardntli wśt t xtnḡś ɖt lîf ẃć I hd so ʈtlisli bstoud. Ẃn I rflectd on hiz crîmz n malis, mî hetrid n rvnj brst ol bǎndz v moḍreśn. I wd hv md a pilgṛmij t ɖ hîist pīc v ɖ Andīz, cd I ẃn ɖr hv prisiṗtetd him t ɖer bes. I wśt t si him agn, ɖt I mt rīc ɖ utmost xtnt v abhoṛns on hiz hed n avnj ɖ deʈs v Wiłm n Justīn. Ǎr hǎs wz ɖ hǎs v mōrnñ. Mî faɖr’z hlʈ wz dīpli śecn bî ɖ horr v ɖ rīsnt ivnts. Iliẓbʈ wz sad n dspondñ; ś no longr tc dlît in hr ordnri okpeśnz; ol pleźr sīmd t hr sacṛlij twd ɖ ded; itrnl wo n tirz ś ɖen ʈt wz ɖ jst tribyt ś śd pe t iṇsns so blastd n dstroid. Ś wz no longr ɖt hapi crīćr hu in rlịr yʈ wondrd wɖ m on ɖ bancs v ɖ lec n tōct wɖ xṭsi v ǎr fyćr prospects. Ɖ frst v ɖoz soroz ẃć r snt t wīn s fṛm ɖ rʈ hd viẓtd hr, n its dimñ inflụns qnćt hr dirist smîlz.

“Ẃn I rflect, mî dir cuzn,” sd ś, “on ɖ mizṛbl deʈ v Justīn Morits, I no longr si ɖ wrld n its wrcs az ɖe bfr apird t m. Bfr, I lct upn ɖ acǎnts v vîs n injustis ɖt I réd in bcs or hŕd fṛm uɖrz az têlz v enćnt dez or imajinri īvlz; at līst ɖe wr rmot n mor fmiłr t rīzn ɖn t ɖ imaɉneśn; bt nǎ miẓri hz cm hom, n men apir t m az monstrz ʈrstñ fr ć uɖr’z blud. Yt I am srtnli unjust. Evrbdi b’livd ɖt pur grl t b gilti; n f ś cd hv cmitd ɖ crîm fr ẃć ś sufrd, aśuridli ś wd hv bn ɖ most dprevd v hymn crīćrz. Fr ɖ sec v a fy juwlz, t hv mrdrd ɖ sun v hr beṇfactr n frend, a ćîld hūm ś hd nrst fṛm its brʈ, n apird t luv az f it hd bn hr ǒn! I cd nt cnsnt t ɖ deʈ v eni hymn biyñ, bt srtnli I śd hv ʈt sć a crīćr unfit t rmen in ɖ ssayti v men. Bt ś wz iṇsnt. I nǒ, I fīl ś wz iṇsnt; y r v ɖ sem opińn, n ɖt cnfrmz m. Alas! Victr, ẃn fōlshd cn lc so lîc ɖ truʈ, hu cn aśur ɖmslvz v srtn hapinis? I fīl az f I wr wōcñ on ɖ éj v a preṣpis, twdz ẃć ʈǎzndz r crǎdñ n indeṿrñ t plunj m intu ɖ abis. Wiłm n Justīn wr asaṣnetd, n ɖ mrdrr isceps; h wōcs abt ɖ wrld fri, n phps rspctd. Bt īvn f I wr cndemd t sufr on ɖ scafld fr ɖ sem crîmz, I wd nt ćenj plesz wɖ sć a reć.”

I lisnd t ɖs discors wɖ ɖ xtrimist aġni. I, nt in dīd, bt in ifct, wz ɖ tru mrdrr. Iliẓbʈ réd mî anḡś in mî cǎntinns, n cîndli tecñ mî hand, sd, “Mî dirist frend, y mst cām yrslf. Ɖz ivnts hv afctd m, God nz hǎ dīpli; bt I am nt so rećid az y r. Ɖr z an xpreśn v dsper, n smtmz v rvnj, in yr cǎntinns ɖt mcs m trembl. Dir Victr, baniś ɖz darc paśnz. Rmembr ɖ frendz arnd y, hu sntr ol ɖer hops in y. Hv w lost ɖ pǎr v renḍrñ y hapi? Ā! Ẃl w luv, ẃl w r tru t ć uɖr, hir in ɖs land v pīs n byti, yr netiv cuntri, w me rīp evri tranqil blesñ—ẃt cn dstrb ǎr pīs?”

N cd nt sć wrdz fṛm hr hūm I fondli prîzd bfr evri uɖr gift v fortyn sfîs t ćes awe ɖ fīnd ɖt lrct in mî hart? Īvn az ś spouc I drù nir t hr, az f in terr, lest at ɖt vri momnt ɖ dstroyr hd bn nir t rob m v hr.

Ɖus nt ɖ tndrnis v frendśp, nr ɖ byti v rʈ, nr v hevn, cd rdim mî soul fṛm wo; ɖ vri axnts v luv wr inifcćl. I wz incumṗst bî a clǎd ẃć no beṇfiśl inflụns cd peṇtret. Ɖ wūndd dír dragñ its fentñ limz t sm untrodn breic, ɖr t gêz upn ɖ aro ẃć hd pirst it, n t dî, wz bt a tîp v m.

Smtmz I cd cǒp wɖ ɖ suḷn dsper ɖt oṿẃlmd m, bt smtmz ɖ ẃrlwind paśnz v mî soul drouv m t sīc, bî boḍli x’sîz n bî ćenj v ples, sm rlif fṛm mî intolṛbl snseśnz. It wz jrñ an axes v ɖs cnd ɖt I sudnli left mî hom, n bndñ mî steps twdz ɖ nir Alpîn valiz, sòt in ɖ mgnifisns, ɖ itrṇti v sć sīnz, t fget mslf n mî ifīmṛl, bcz hymn, soroz. Mî wonḍrñz wr d’rectd twdz ɖ vali v Śaṃnī. I hd viẓtd it frīqntli jrñ mî bôhd. Six yirz hd pást sins ɖen: I wz a rec, bt nòt hd ćenjd in ɖoz savij n indyrñ sīnz.

I pformd ɖ frst part v mî jrni on horsbac. I aftwdz hîrd a ḿl, az ɖ mor śr-fŭtd n līst laybl t rsiv inɉri on ɖz rugid rodz. Ɖ weɖr wz fîn; it wz abt ɖ midl v ɖ munʈ v Ōġst, nirli tū munʈs aftr ɖ deʈ v Justīn, ɖt mizṛbl eṗc fṛm ẃć I detd ol mî wo. Ɖ weit upn mî spirit wz snṣbli lîtnd az I plunjd yt dīpr in ɖ rvin v Arv. Ɖ imns mǎntnz n preṣpisz ɖt oṿhuñ m on evri sîd, ɖ sǎnd v ɖ rivr rejñ amñ ɖ rocs, n ɖ daśñ v ɖ wōtrfōlz arnd spouc v a pǎr mîti az Omniṗtns—n I sīst t fir or t bnd bfr eni biyñ les olmîti ɖn ɖt ẃć hd crietd n rūld ɖ elimnts, hir dspleid in ɖer most t’rific gîz. Stl, az I asndd hayr, ɖ vali asymd a mor mgnifisnt n astoṇśñ caṛctr. Ruind caslz haññ on ɖ preṣpisz v pîni mǎntnz, ɖ impećs Arv, n coṭjz evri hir n ɖr pīpñ fʈ fṛm amñ ɖ triz formd a sīn v snğlr byti. Bt it wz ōgmntd n rendrd sblîm bî ɖ mîti Alps, huz ẃît n śînñ piṛmidz n domz tǎrd abv ol, az b’loññ t anɖr rʈ, ɖ habteśnz v anɖr res v biyñz.

I pást ɖ brij v Pelīsie, ẃr ɖ rvin, ẃć ɖ rivr formz, opnd bfr m, n I bgan t asnd ɖ mǎntn ɖt oṿhañz it. Sn aftr, I entrd ɖ vali v Śaṃnī. Ɖs vali z mor wundrfl n sblîm, bt nt so bytifl n picćresc az ɖt v Servoz, ʈru ẃć I hd jst pást. Ɖ hî n snǒi mǎntnz wr its imīɉt bǎnḍriz, bt I sw no mor ruind caslz n frtîl fīldz. Imns gleśrz aproćt ɖ rod; I hŕd ɖ rumḅlñ ʈundr v ɖ fōlñ aṿlanć n marct ɖ smoc v its pasij. Mõ Blã, ɖ s’prīm n mgnifisnt Mõ Blã, rezd itslf fṛm ɖ srǎndñ aiguilles, n its tṛmnḍs dom oṿlct ɖ vali.

A tnġlñ loñ-lost sns v pleźr ofn cem acrs m jrñ ɖs jrni. Sm trn in ɖ rod, sm ny objict sudnli psivd n rec̣gnîzd, rmîndd m v dez gn bî, n wr asośietd wɖ ɖ lîthartd geyti v bôhd. Ɖ vri windz ẃisprd in suɖñ axnts, n mtrnl Nećr bád m wīp no mor. Ɖen agn ɖ cîndli inflụns sīst t act—I faund mslf fetrd agn t grīf n induljñ in ol ɖ miẓri v rflex́n. Ɖen I sprd on mî animl, strîvñ so t fget ɖ wrld, mî firz, n mor ɖn ol, mslf—or, in a mor despṛt faśn, I alîtd n ʈrù mslf on ɖ gras, weid dǎn bî horr n dsper.

At leñʈ I arîvd at ɖ vilij v Śaṃnī. Xōsćn s’xidd t ɖ xtrim ftīg bʈ v bodi n v mînd ẃć I hd indyrd. Fr a śort spes v tîm I rmend at ɖ windo woćñ ɖ palid lîtnñz ɖt pleid abv Mõ Blã n liṣnñ t ɖ ruśñ v ɖ Arv, ẃć psyd its nôzi we bnʈ. Ɖ sem lulñ sǎndz actd az a luḷbî t mî tù cīn snseśnz; ẃn I plest mî hed upn mî pilo, slīp crept ovr m; I flt it az it cem n blest ɖ gvr v oblivịn.


I spent ɖ folowñ de romñ ʈru ɖ vali. I std bsd ɖ sorsz v ɖ Arverón, ẃć tec ɖer rîz in a gleśr, ɖt wɖ slo pes z advansñ dǎn fṛm ɖ sumit v ɖ hilz t baṛced ɖ vali. Ɖ abrupt sîdz v vast mǎntnz wr bfr m; ɖ îsi wōl v ɖ gleśr oṿhuñ m; a fy śatrd pînz wr scatrd arnd; n ɖ soḷm sîḷns v ɖs glorịs preznsćembr v impirịl nećr wz brocn onli bî ɖ brōlñ wevz or ɖ fōl v sm vast fragmnt, ɖ ʈundrsǎnd v ɖ aṿlanć or ɖ cracñ, rvrḅretd alñ ɖ mǎntnz, v ɖ akḿletd îs, ẃć, ʈru ɖ sîḷnt wrcñ v iḿṭbl lwz, wz evr n anon rent n torn, az f it hd bn bt a plêʈñ in ɖer handz. Ɖz sblîm n mgnifisnt sīnz afordd m ɖ gretist conṣleśn ɖt I wz ceṗbl v rsivñ. Ɖe eḷvetd m fṛm ol litlnis v fīlñ, n olɖo ɖe dd nt rmuv mî grīf, ɖe sbdyd n tranqlîzd it. In sm dgri, olso, ɖe dvrtd mî mînd fṛm ɖ ʈts ovr ẃć it hd brūdd fr ɖ last munʈ. I rtîrd t rest at nît; mî slumbrz, az it wr, wêtd on n ministrd t bî ɖ asembḷns v grand śeps ẃć I hd contmpletd jrñ ɖ de. Ɖe congṛgetd rnd m; ɖ unstend snǒi mǎntntop, ɖ gliṭrñ piṇcl, ɖ pînwŭds, n ragid bér rvin, ɖ īgl, sōrñ amdst ɖ clǎdz—ɖe ol gaɖrd rnd m n bád m b at pīs.

Ẃr hd ɖe fled ẃn ɖ nxt mornñ I awouc? Ol v soul-inspiṛtñ fled wɖ slīp, n darc meḷnc̣li clǎdd evri ʈt. Ɖ ren wz porñ in toṛnts, n ʈic mists hid ɖ sumits v ɖ mǎntnz, so ɖt I īvn sw nt ɖ fesz v ɖoz mîti frendz. Stl I wd peṇtret ɖer misti veil n sīc ɖm in ɖer clǎdi rtrits. Ẃt wr ren n storm t m? Mî ḿl wz bròt t ɖ dor, n I rzolvd t asnd t ɖ sumit v Mõtãver. I rmembrd ɖ ifct ɖt ɖ vy v ɖ tṛmnḍs n evr-muvñ gleśr hd pṛdyst upn mî mînd ẃn I frst sw it. It hd ɖen fild m wɖ a sblîm xṭsi ɖt gev wñz t ɖ soul n alaud it t sōr fṛm ɖ obskr wrld t lît n jô. Ɖ sît v ɖ ōfl n mjestic in nećr hd indd olwz ɖ ifct v soḷmnîzñ mî mînd n cōzñ m t fget ɖ pasñ cerz v lîf. I dtrmind t g wɖt a gîd, fr I wz wel aqentd wɖ ɖ paʈ, n ɖ prezns v anɖr wd dstrô ɖ solitri granjr v ɖ sīn.

Ɖ asent z prisipiṭs, bt ɖ paʈ z cut intu cntińl n śort wîndñz, ẃć inebl y t s’mǎnt ɖ prpndiklaṛti v ɖ mǎntn. It z a sīn t’rificli dezḷt. In a ʈǎznd spots ɖ tresz v ɖ wintr-aṿlanć me b psivd, ẃr triz lî brocn n strùd on ɖ grǎnd, sm intîrli dstroid, uɖrz bnt, līnñ upn ɖ jutñ rocs v ɖ mǎntn or trnzvrsli upn uɖr triz. Ɖ paʈ, az y asnd hayr, z inṭsctd bî r’vīnz v sno, dǎn ẃć stonz cntińli rol fṛm abv; wn v ɖm z ptiklrli denjṛs, az ɖ slîtist sǎnd, sć az īvn spīcñ in a lǎd vôs, pṛdysz a cncuśn v er sfiśnt t drw dstrux́n upn ɖ hed v ɖ spīcr. Ɖ pînz r nt tōl or lux́urịnt, bt ɖe r sombr n ad an er v sveṛti t ɖ sīn. I lct on ɖ vali bnʈ; vast mists wr rîzñ fṛm ɖ rivrz ẃć ran ʈru it n crlñ in ʈic rīɖz arnd ɖ oṗzit mǎntnz, huz sumits wr hid in ɖ yṇform clǎdz, ẃl ren pord fṛm ɖ darc scî n add t ɖ meḷnc̣li impreśn I rsivd fṛm ɖ objicts arnd m. Alas! Ẃ dz man bost v snsbiḷtiz s’pirịr t ɖoz apaṛnt in ɖ brūt; it onli rendrz ɖm mor nesṣri biyñz. F ǎr impulsz wr cnfînd t hungr, ʈrst, n dzîr, w mt b nirli fri; bt nǎ w r muvd bî evri wind ɖt bloz n a ćans wrd or sīn ɖt ɖt wrd me cnve t s.

 

W rest; a drīm hz pǎr t pôzn slīp.
W rîz; wn wonḍrñ ʈt p’lūts ɖ de.
W fīl, cnsiv, or rīzn; laf or wīp,
Imbres fond wo, or cast ǎr cerz awe;
It z ɖ sem: fr, b it jô or soro,
Ɖ paʈ v its dparćr stl z fri.
Man’z yesṭde me ner b lîc hiz moro;
Nòt me indyr bt ḿtbiḷti!

 

It wz nirli nūn ẃn I arîvd at ɖ top v ɖ asent. Fr sm tîm I sat upn ɖ roc ɖt oṿlcs ɖ sì v îs. A mist cuvrd bʈ ɖt n ɖ srǎndñ mǎntnz. Prezntli a brīz diṣpetd ɖ clǎd, n I dsndd upn ɖ gleśr. Ɖ srfis z vri unīvn, rîzñ lîc ɖ wevz v a trubld sì, dsndñ lo, n inṭsprst bî rifts ɖt snc dīp. Ɖ fīld v îs z olmst a līg in widʈ, bt I spent nirli tū aurz in crosñ it. Ɖ oṗzit mǎntn z a bér prṗndiklr roc. Fṛm ɖ sîd ẃr I nǎ std Mõtãver wz xacli oṗzit, at ɖ distns v a līg; n abv it rouz Mõ Blã, in ōfl maɉsti. I rmend in a rses v ɖ roc, gezñ on ɖs wundrfl n stypnds sīn. Ɖ sì, or rɖr ɖ vast rivr v îs, waund amñ its dpndnt mǎntnz, huz erịl sumits huñ ovr its rsesz. Ɖer îsi n gliṭrñ pīcs śon in ɖ súnlît ovr ɖ clǎdz. Mî hart, ẃć wz bfr soṛfl, nǎ sweld wɖ smʈñ lîc jô; I xclemd, “Wonḍrñ spirits, f indd yi wondr, n d nt rest in yr naro bedz, alǎ m ɖs fent hapinis, or tec m, az yr cmpańn, awe fṛm ɖ jôz v lîf.”Az I sd ɖs I sudnli bheld ɖ figr v a man, at sm distns, advansñ twdz m wɖ sūṗhymn spīd. H bǎndd ovr ɖ creṿsz in ɖ îs, amñ ẃć I hd wōct wɖ cōśn; hiz staćr, olso, az h aproćt, sīmd t xid ɖt v man. I wz trubld; a mist cem ovr mî îz, n I flt a fentnis sīz m, bt I wz qcli rstord bî ɖ cold gel v ɖ mǎntnz. I psivd, az ɖ śep cem nirr (sît tṛmnḍs n abhord!) ɖt it wz ɖ reć hūm I hd crietd. I trembld wɖ rej n horr, rzolvñ t wêt hiz aproć n ɖen cloz wɖ him in mortl combat. H aproćt; hiz cǎntinns bspoc bitr anḡś, cmbînd wɖ dsden n mligṇti, ẃl its unrʈli uglinis rendrd it olmst tù hoṛbl fr hymn îz. Bt I scersli obzrvd ɖs; rej n hetrid hd at frst dprîvd m v utṛns, n I rcuvrd onli t oṿẃlm him wɖ wrdz xpresiv v fyrịs dītsteśn n cntmt.“Devl,” I xclemd, “d y der aproć m? N d nt y fir ɖ firs vnjns v mî arm rīct on yr mizṛbl hed? Bgon, vîl insect! Or rɖr, ste, ɖt I me trampl y t dust! N, ǒ! Ɖt I cd, wɖ ɖ xtñśn v yr mizṛbl xistns, rstor ɖoz victimz hūm y hv so dạbolicli mrdrd!”

“I xpctd ɖs rspśn,” sd ɖ dīmn. “Ol men het ɖ rećid; hǎ, ɖen, mst I b hetd, hu am mizṛbl bynd ol livñ ʈñz! Yt y, mî crietr, dtst n sprn m, ɖî crīćr, t hūm ɖǎ art baund bî tîz onli dsołbl bî ɖ anạleśn v wn v s. Y prṗs t cil m. Hǎ der y sport ɖus wɖ lîf? D yr dyti twdz m, n I wl d mîn twdz y n ɖ rest v man-cnd. F y wl cmplî wɖ mî cndiśnz, I wl līv ɖm n y at pīs; bt f y rfyz, I wl glut ɖ mw v deʈ, untl it b seśietd wɖ ɖ blud v yr rmenñ frendz.”

“Abhord monstr! Fīnd ɖt ɖǎ art! Ɖ torćrz v hel r tù mîld a vnjns fr ɖî crîmz. Rećid devl! Y rproć m wɖ yr crieśn, cm on, ɖen, ɖt I me xtnḡś ɖ sparc ẃć I so neglijntli bstoud.”

Mî rej wz wɖt bǎndz; I sprañ on him, impeld bî ol ɖ fīlñz ẃć cn arm wn biyñ agnst ɖ xistns v anɖr.

H īẓli iludd m n sd,

“B cām! I intrit y t hír m bfr y gv vnt t yr hetrid on mî dvotd hed. Hv I nt sufrd inuf, ɖt y sīc t incris mî miẓri? Lîf, olɖo it me onli b an akḿleśn v anḡś, z dir t m, n I wl dfnd it. Rmembr, ɖǎ hast md m mor pǎrfl ɖn ɖîslf; mî hît z s’pirịr t ɖîn, mî jônts mor supl. Bt I wl nt b tmtd t set mslf in opziśn t ɖi. I am ɖî crīćr, n I wl b īvn mîld n dosîl t mî naćṛl lord n cñ f ɖǎ wilt olso pform ɖî part, ɖ ẃć ɖǎ ǒist m. Ǒ, Francnstîn, b nt eqtbl t evri uɖr n trampl upn m alon, t hūm ɖî justis, n īvn ɖî clemnsi n afx́n, z most dy. Rmembr ɖt I am ɖî crīćr; I òt t b ɖî Adm, bt I am rɖr ɖ fōḷn enjl, hūm ɖǎ drîvist fṛm jô fr no msdīd. Evrẃr I si blis, fṛm ẃć I alon am irevcbli xcludd. I wz bnevlnt n gd; miẓri md m a fīnd. Mc m hapi, n I śl agn b vrćs.”

“Bgon! I wl nt hír y. Ɖr cn b no cḿṇti btwn y n m; w r eṇmiz. Bgon, or let s trî ǎr streñʈ in a fît, in ẃć wn mst fōl.”

“Hǎ cn I muv ɖi? Wl no intritiz cōz ɖi t trn a fevṛbl î upn ɖî crīćr, hu implorz ɖî gdnis n cmpaśn? B’liv m, Francnstîn, I wz bnevlnt; mî soul gloud wɖ luv n hymaṇti; bt am I nt alon, mizṛbli alon? Y, mî crietr, abhor m; ẃt hop cn I gaɖr fṛm yr felocrīćrz, hu o m nʈñ? Ɖe sprn n het m. Ɖ deẓtmǎntnz n driri gleśrz r mî refyj. I hv wondrd hir mni dez; ɖ cevz v îs, ẃć I onli d nt fir, r a dwelñ t m, n ɖ onli wn ẃć man dz nt gruj. Ɖz blīc scîz I hêl, fr ɖe r cîndr t m ɖn yr felobiyñz. F ɖ multtyd v man-cnd ń v mî xistns, ɖe wd d az y d, n arm ɖmslvz fr mî dstrux́n. Śl I nt ɖen het ɖm hu abhor m? I wl cīp no trmz wɖ mî eṇmiz. I am mizṛbl, n ɖe śl śer mî rećidnis. Yt it z in yr pǎr t recmpens m, n dlivr ɖm fṛm an īvl ẃć it onli rmenz fr y t mc so gret, ɖt nt onli y n yr faṃli, bt ʈǎzndz v uɖrz, śl b swoloud p in ɖ ẃrlwindz v its rej. Let yr cmpaśn b muvd, n d nt dsden m. Lisn t mî têl; ẃn y hv hŕd ɖt, abandn or cmiẓret m, az y śl juj ɖt I dzrv. Bt hír m. Ɖ gilti r alaud, bî hymn lwz, bludi az ɖe r, t spīc in ɖer ǒn dfns bfr ɖe r cndemd. Lisn t m, Francnstîn. Y akz m v mrdr, n yt y wd, wɖ a saṭsfaid conśns, dstrô yr ǒn crīćr. Ǒ, prêz ɖ itrnl justis v man! Yt I asc y nt t sper m; lisn t m, n ɖen, f y cn, n f y wl, dstrô ɖ wrc v yr handz.”

“Ẃ d y cōl t mî rmembṛns,” I rjônd, “srcmstansz v ẃć I śudr t rflect, ɖt I hv bn ɖ mizṛbl oṛjin n oʈr? Crst b ɖ de, abhord devl, in ẃć y frst sw lît! Crst (olɖo I crs mslf) b ɖ handz ɖt formd y! Y hv md m rećid bynd xpreśn. Y hv left m no pǎr t cnsidr ẃɖr I am just t y or nt. Bgon! Rliv m fṛm ɖ sît v yr dtstd form.”

“Ɖus I rliv ɖi, mî crietr,” h sd, n plest hiz hetd handz bfr mî îz, ẃć I fluñ fṛm m wɖ vayḷns; “ɖus I tec fṛm ɖi a sît ẃć y abhor. Stl ɖǎ cnst lisn t m n grant m ɖî cmpaśn. Bî ɖ vrćuz ɖt I wns pzest, I dmand ɖs fṛm y. Hír mî têl; it z loñ n strenj, n ɖ tmpṛćr v ɖs ples z nt fitñ t yr fîn snseśnz; cm t ɖ hut upn ɖ mǎntn. Ɖ sún z yt hî in ɖ hevnz; bfr it dsndz t hîd itslf bhnd yr snǒi preṣpisz n iluṃnet anɖr wrld, y wl hv hŕd mî stori n cn dsîd. On y it rests, ẃɖr I qit fr evr ɖ nebrhd v man n līd a harmlis lîf, or bcm ɖ scrj v yr felocrīćrz n ɖ oʈr v yr ǒn spīdi ruin.”

Az h sd ɖs h léd ɖ we acrs ɖ îs; I foloud. Mî hart wz fl, n I dd nt ansr him, bt az I pṛsidd, I weid ɖ verịs arğmnts ɖt h hd yzd n dtrmind at līst t lisn t hiz têl. I wz partli rjd bî krioṣti, n cmpaśn cnfrmd mî reẓluśn. I hd hiɖrtu s’pozd him t b ɖ mrdrr v mî bruɖr, n I īgrli sòt a confmeśn or dnayl v ɖs opińn. Fr ɖ frst tîm, olso, I flt ẃt ɖ dytiz v a crietr twdz hiz crīćr wr, n ɖt I òt t rendr him hapi bfr I cmplend v hiz wicidnis. Ɖz motivz rjd m t cmplî wɖ hiz dmand. W crost ɖ îs, ɖrfr, n asndd ɖ oṗzit roc. Ɖ er wz cold, n ɖ ren agn bgan t dsnd; w entrd ɖ hut, ɖ fīnd wɖ an er v xlteśn, I wɖ a hevi hart n dprest spirits. Bt I cnsntd t lisn, n sītñ mslf bî ɖ fîr ẃć mî odịs cmpańn hd lîtd, h ɖus bgan hiz têl.


“It z wɖ cnsidṛbl dificlti ɖt I rmembr ɖ orijinl ira v mî biyñ; ol ɖ ivnts v ɖt pirịd apir cnfyzd n indistñt. A strenj mulṭpliṣti v snseśnz sizd m, n I sw, flt, hŕd, n smelt at ɖ sem tîm; n it wz, indd, a loñ tîm bfr I lrnt t dstnḡś btwn ɖ oṗreśnz v mî verịs snsz. Bî dgriz, I rmembr, a strongr lît prest upn mî nrvz, so ɖt I wz oblîjd t śut mî îz. Darcnis ɖen cem ovr m n trubld m, bt hardli hd I flt ɖs ẃn, bî oṗnñ mî îz, az I nǎ s’poz, ɖ lît pord in upn m agn. I wōct n, I b’liv, dsndd, bt I prezntli faund a gret olṭreśn in mî snseśnz. Bfr, darc n opec bodiz hd srǎndd m, imprvịs t mî tuć or sît; bt I nǎ faund ɖt I cd wondr on at liḅti, wɖ no obsṭclz ẃć I cd nt îɖr s’mǎnt or avôd. Ɖ lît bcem mor n mor opresiv t m, n ɖ hīt wiriyñ m az I wōct, I sòt a ples ẃr I cd rsiv śêd. Ɖs wz ɖ forist nir Ingolśtat; n hir I lei bî ɖ sîd v a brŭc restñ fṛm mî ftīg, untl I flt tormntd bî hungr n ʈrst. Ɖs rǎzd m fṛm mî nirli dormnt stet, n I ét sm bériz ẃć I faund haññ on ɖ triz or layñ on ɖ grǎnd. I slect mî ʈrst at ɖ brŭc, n ɖen layñ dǎn, wz oṿcm bî slīp.

“It wz darc ẃn I awouc; I flt cold olso, n haf frîtnd, az it wr, instñtivli, fîndñ mslf so dezḷt. Bfr I hd qitd yr apartmnt, on a snseśn v cold, I hd cuvrd mslf wɖ sm cloɖz, bt ɖz wr inṣfiśnt t s’kr m fṛm ɖ dȳz v nît. I wz a pur, hlplis, mizṛbl reć; I ń, n cd dstnḡś, nʈñ; bt fīlñ pen inved m on ol sîdz, I sat dǎn n wept.

“Sn a jntl lît stoul ovr ɖ hevnz n gev m a snseśn v pleźr. I startd p n bheld a redịnt form rîz fṛm amñ ɖ triz. I gezd wɖ a cnd v wundr. It muvd slǒli, bt it inlîtnd mî paʈ, n I agn wnt ǎt in srć v bériz. I wz stl cold ẃn undr wn v ɖ triz I faund a hyj clǒc, wɖ ẃć I cuvrd mslf, n sat dǎn upn ɖ grǎnd. No dstñt îdīaz okpaid mî mînd; ol wz cnfyzd. I flt lît, n hungr, n ʈrst, n darcnis; ińmṛbl sǎndz rañ in mî irz, n on ol sîdz verịs sénts s’lūtd m; ɖ onli objict ɖt I cd dstnḡś wz ɖ brît mūn, n I fixt mî îz on ɖt wɖ pleźr.

“Sevṛl ćenjz v de n nît pást, n ɖ orb v nît hd gretli lesnd, ẃn I bgan t dstnḡś mî snseśnz fṛm ć uɖr. I graɉli sw plenli ɖ clir strīm ɖt s’plaid m wɖ drinc n ɖ triz ɖt śêdd m wɖ ɖer foliij. I wz dlîtd ẃn I frst dscuvrd ɖt a pleznt sǎnd, ẃć ofn s’lūtd mî irz, pṛsidd fṛm ɖ ʈrots v ɖ litl wñd animlz hu hd ofn inṭsptd ɖ lît fṛm mî îz. I bgan olso t obzrv, wɖ gretr akṛsi, ɖ formz ɖt srǎndd m n t psiv ɖ bǎnḍriz v ɖ redịnt rūf v lît ẃć caṇpid m. Smtmz I traid t iṃtet ɖ pleznt soñz v ɖ brdz bt wz unebl. Smtmz I wśt t xpres mî snseśnz in mî ǒn mod, bt ɖ uncuʈ n inartikḷt sǎndz ẃć brouc fṛm m frîtnd m intu sîḷns agn.

“Ɖ mūn hd dis’pird fṛm ɖ nît, n agn, wɖ a lesnd form, śoud itslf, ẃl I stl rmend in ɖ forist. Mî snseśnz hd bî ɖs tîm bcm dstñt, n mî mînd rsivd evri de adiśnl îdīaz. Mî îz bcem acustmd t ɖ lît n t psiv objicts in ɖer rît formz; I dstnḡśt ɖ insect fṛm ɖ hrb, n bî dgriz, wn hrb fṛm anɖr. I faund ɖt ɖ sparo utrd nn bt harś nots, ẃlst ɖoz v ɖ blacbrd n ʈruś wr swīt n intîsñ.

“Wn de, ẃn I wz oprest bî cold, I faund a fîr ẃć hd bn left bî sm wonḍrñ begrz, n wz oṿcm wɖ dlît at ɖ wormʈ I xpirịnst fṛm it. In mî jô I ʈrust mî hand intu ɖ liv embrz, bt qcli drù it ǎt agn wɖ a crî v pen. Hǎ strenj, I ʈt, ɖt ɖ sem cōz śd pṛdys sć oṗzit ifcts! I xamind ɖ mtirịlz v ɖ fîr, n t mî jô faund it t b cmpozd v wŭd. I qcli c’lectd sm branćz, bt ɖe wr wet n wd nt brn. I wz pend at ɖs n sat stl woćñ ɖ oṗreśn v ɖ fîr. Ɖ wet wŭd ẃć I hd plest nir ɖ hīt draid n itslf bcem inflemd. I rflectd on ɖs, n bî tućñ ɖ verịs branćz, I dscuvrd ɖ cōz n bizid mslf in c’lectñ a gret qontti v wŭd, ɖt I mt drî it n hv a plentifl s’plî v fîr. Ẃn nît cem on n bròt slīp wɖ it, I wz in ɖ gretist fir lest mî fîr śd b xtnḡśt. I cuvrd it cerf̣li wɖ drî wŭd n līvz n plest wet branćz upn it; n ɖen, spredñ mî clǒc, I lei on ɖ grǎnd n sanc intu slīp.

“It wz mornñ ẃn I awouc, n mî frst cer wz t vizit ɖ fîr. I uncuvrd it, n a jntl brīz qcli fand it intu a flem. I obzrvd ɖs olso n cntrîvd a fan v branćz, ẃć rǎzd ɖ embrz ẃn ɖe wr nirli xtnḡśt. Ẃn nît cem agn I faund, wɖ pleźr, ɖt ɖ fîr gev lît az wel az hīt n ɖt ɖ dscuṿri v ɖs elimnt wz ysfl t m in mî fūd, fr I faund sm v ɖ oflz ɖt ɖ travlrz hd left hd bn rostd, n testd mć mor sêṿri ɖn ɖ bériz I gaɖrd fṛm ɖ triz. I traid, ɖrfr, t dres mî fūd in ɖ sem manr, plesñ it on ɖ lîv embrz. I faund ɖt ɖ bériz wr spôld bî ɖs oṗreśn, n ɖ nuts n rūts mć impruvd.

“Fūd, hvr, bcem scers, n I ofn spent ɖ hol de srćñ in ven fr a fy ecornz t aswej ɖ pañz v hungr. Ẃn I faund ɖs, I rzolvd t qit ɖ ples ɖt I hd hiɖrtu inhaḅtd, t sīc fr wn ẃr ɖ fy wonts I xpirịnst wd b mor īẓli saṭsfaid. In ɖs eṃgreśn I xidñli l’mntd ɖ los v ɖ fîr ẃć I hd obtend ʈru axidnt n ń nt hǎ t rīpṛdys it. I gev sevṛl aurz t ɖ sirịs cnsiḍreśn v ɖs dificlti, bt I wz oblîjd t rlnqiś ol atmt t s’plî it, n rápñ mslf p in mî clǒc, I struc acrs ɖ wŭd twdz ɖ setñ sún. I pást ʈri dez in ɖz ramblz n at leñʈ dscuvrd ɖ opn cuntri. A gret fōl v sno hd tecn ples ɖ nît bfr, n ɖ fīldz wr v wn yṇform ẃît; ɖ apiṛns wz dsconsḷt, n I faund mî fīt ćild bî ɖ cold damp substns ɖt cuvrd ɖ grǎnd.

“It wz abt sevn in ɖ mornñ, n I loñd t obten fūd n śltr; at leñʈ I psivd a smōl hut, on a rîzñ grǎnd, ẃć hd dǎtlis bn bilt fr ɖ cnvīńns v sm śeṗd. Ɖs wz a ny sît t m, n I xamind ɖ strucćr wɖ gret krioṣti. Fîndñ ɖ dor opn, I entrd. An old man sat in it, nir a fîr, ovr ẃć h wz pripẹrñ hiz brecfst. H trnd on hírñ a nôz, n psivñ m, śrīct lǎdli, n qitñ ɖ hut, ran acrs ɖ fīldz wɖ a spīd v ẃć hiz dbiḷtetd form hardli apird ceṗbl. Hiz apiṛns, difṛnt fṛm eni I hd evr bfr sìn, n hiz flît smẃt s’prîzd m. Bt I wz inćantd bî ɖ apiṛns v ɖ hut; hir ɖ sno n ren cd nt peṇtret; ɖ grǎnd wz drî; n it prizntd t m ɖen az xqizit n dvîn a rtrit az Panḍmońm apird t ɖ dīmnz v hel aftr ɖer suf̣rñz in ɖ lec v fîr. I grīḍli dvǎrd ɖ remnnts v ɖ śeṗd’z brecfst, ẃć cnsistd v bred, ćīz, milc, n wîn; ɖ latr, hvr, I dd nt lîc. Ɖen, oṿcm bî ftīg, I lei dǎn amñ sm strw n fél aslip.

“It wz nūn ẃn I awouc, n alurd bî ɖ wormʈ v ɖ sún, ẃć śon brîtli on ɖ ẃît grǎnd, I dtrmind t rīc̣mns mî travlz; n, dpoẓtñ ɖ rmenz v ɖ peznt’s brecfst in a wolit I faund, I pṛsidd acrs ɖ fīldz fr sevṛl aurz, untl at súnset I arîvd at a vilij. Hǎ mrakḷs dd ɖs apir! Ɖ huts, ɖ nītr coṭjz, n stetli hǎzz ingejd mî adṃreśn bî trnz. Ɖ vejtblz in ɖ gardnz, ɖ milc n ćīz ɖt I sw plest at ɖ windoz v sm v ɖ coṭjz, alurd mî aṗtît. Wn v ɖ bst v ɖz I entrd, bt I hd hardli plest mî ft wɖn ɖ dor bfr ɖ ćildṛn śrīct, n wn v ɖ wimin fentd. Ɖ hol vilij wz rǎzd; sm fled, sm atact m, untl, grīṿsli bruzd bî stonz n mni uɖr cndz v misîlwepnz, I iscept t ɖ opn cuntri n firf̣li tc refyj in a lo hovl, qt bér, n mcñ a rećid apiṛns aftr ɖ paḷsz I hd bheld in ɖ vilij. Ɖs hovl hvr, jônd a cotij v a nīt n pleznt apiṛns, bt aftr mî lêt dirli bòt xpirịns, I derd nt entr it. Mî ples v refyj wz cnstructd v wŭd, bt so lo ɖt I cd wɖ dificlti sit uprît in it. No wŭd, hvr, wz plest on ɖ rʈ, ẃć formd ɖ flor, bt it wz drî; n olɖo ɖ wind entrd it bî ińmṛbl ćincs, I faund it an agriybl asîḷm fṛm ɖ sno n ren.

“Hir, ɖen, I rtritd n lei dǎn hapi t hv faund a śltr, hvr mizṛbl, fṛm ɖ inclemnsi v ɖ sīzn, n stl mor fṛm ɖ barbaṛti v man. Az sn az mornñ dōnd I crept fṛm mî cenl, ɖt I mt vy ɖ ajesnt cotij n dscuvr f I cd rmen in ɖ habteśn I hd faund. It wz sićuetd agnst ɖ bac v ɖ cotij n srǎndd on ɖ sîdz ẃć wr xpozd bî a pigstî n a clir pūl v wōtr. Wn part wz opn, n bî ɖt I hd crept in; bt nǎ I cuvrd evri crevis bî ẃć I mt b psivd wɖ stonz n wŭd, yt in sć a manr ɖt I mt muv ɖm on oceźn t pas ǎt; ol ɖ lît I injoid cem ʈru ɖ stî, n ɖt wz sfiśnt fr m.

“Hvñ ɖus arenjd mî dwelñ n carṗtd it wɖ clīn strw, I rtîrd, fr I sw ɖ figr v a man at a distns, n I rmembrd tù wel mî trītmnt ɖ nît bfr t trust mslf in hiz pǎr. I hd frst, hvr, pṛvîdd fr mî susṭnns fr ɖt de bî a lof v cōrs bred, ẃć I prlônd, n a cup wɖ ẃć I cd drinc mor cnvińntli ɖn fṛm mî hand v ɖ pyr wōtr ẃć floud bî mî rtrit. Ɖ flor wz a litl rezd, so ɖt it wz cept prf̣cli drî, n bî its vsiṇti t ɖ ćimni v ɖ cotij it wz tolṛbli worm.

“Biyñ ɖus pṛvîdd, I rzolvd t rzîd in ɖs hovl untl smʈñ śd ocŕ ẃć mt oltr mî dtrṃneśn. It wz indd a paṛdîs cmperd t ɖ blīc forist, mî formr rezidns, ɖ ren-dropñ branćz, n danc rʈ. I ét mî brecfst wɖ pleźr n wz abt t rmuv a planc t pṛkr mslf a litl wōtr ẃn I hŕd a step, n lcñ ʈru a smōl ćnc, I bheld a yuñ crīćr, wɖ a peil on hr hed, pasñ bfr mî hovl. Ɖ grl wz yuñ n v jntl dmīnr, unlîc ẃt I hv sins faund cotijrz n farmhǎșrvnts t b. Yt ś wz mīnli drest, a cōrs blu peticot n a linn jacit biyñ hr onli garb; hr fer her wz pleitd bt nt adornd: ś lct peśnt yt sad. I lost sît v hr, n in abt a qortr v an aur ś rtrnd bẹrñ ɖ peil, ẃć wz nǎ partli fild wɖ milc. Az ś wōct alñ, sīmñli inc̣modd bî ɖ brdn, a yuñ man met hr, huz cǎntinns xprest a dīpr dspondns. Uṭrñ a fy sǎndz wɖ an er v meḷnc̣li, h tc ɖ peil fṛm hr hed n bòr it t ɖ cotij himslf. Ś foloud, n ɖe dis’pird. Prezntli I sw ɖ yuñ man agn, wɖ sm tūlz in hiz hand, cros ɖ fīld bhnd ɖ cotij; n ɖ grl wz olso bizid, smtmz in ɖ hǎs n smtmz in ɖ yard.

“On xaṃnñ mî dwelñ, I faund ɖt wn v ɖ windoz v ɖ cotij hd formrli okpaid a part v it, bt ɖ peinz hd bn fild p wɖ wŭd. In wn v ɖz wz a smōl n olmst imṗsptbl ćnc ʈru ẃć ɖ î cd jst peṇtret. Ʈru ɖs crevis a smōl rūm wz viẓbl, ẃîtwośt n clīn bt vri bér v frnićr. In wn cornr, nir a smōl fîr, sat an old man, līnñ hiz hed on hiz handz in a dsconsḷt attyd. Ɖ yuñ grl wz okpaid in arenjñ ɖ cotij; bt prezntli ś tc smʈñ ǎt v a dror, ẃć imploid hr handz, n ś sat dǎn bsd ɖ old man, hu, tecñ p an instṛmnt, bgan t ple n t pṛdys sǎndz swītr ɖn ɖ vôs v ɖ ʈruś or ɖ nîtngel. It wz a luvli sît, īvn t m, pur reć hu hd nvr bheld ōt bytifl bfr. Ɖ silvr her n bnevlnt cǎntinns v ɖ ejid cotijr wún mî revṛns, ẃl ɖ jntl manrz v ɖ grl intîst mî luv. H pleid a swīt mōrnfl er ẃć I psivd drù tirz fṛm ɖ îz v hiz emịbl cmpańn, v ẃć ɖ old man tc no notis, untl ś sobd ōḍbli; h ɖen pṛnǎnst a fy sǎndz, n ɖ fer crīćr, līvñ hr wrc, nlt at hiz fīt. H rezd hr n smîld wɖ sć cîndnis n afx́n ɖt I flt snseśnz v a pkłr n oṿpǎrñ nećr; ɖe wr a mixćr v pen n pleźr, sć az I hd nvr bfr xpirịnst, îɖr fṛm hungr or cold, wormʈ or fūd; n I wɖdru fṛm ɖ windo, unebl t ber ɖz imośnz.

“Sn aftr ɖs ɖ yuñ man rtrnd, bẹrñ on hiz śoldrz a lod v wŭd. Ɖ grl met him at ɖ dor, hlpt t rliv him v hiz brdn, n tecñ sm v ɖ fyl intu ɖ cotij, plest it on ɖ fîr; ɖen ś n ɖ yʈ wnt apart intu a nc v ɖ cotij, n h śoud hr a larj lof n a pìs v ćīz. Ś sīmd plizd n wnt intu ɖ gardn fr sm rūts n plants, ẃć ś plest in wōtr, n ɖen upn ɖ fîr. Ś aftwdz cntinyd hr wrc, ẃlst ɖ yuñ man wnt intu ɖ gardn n apird biẓli imploid in digñ n pŭlñ p rūts. Aftr h hd bn imploid ɖus abt an aur, ɖ yuñ wmn jônd him n ɖe entrd ɖ cotij tgɖr.

“Ɖ old man hd, in ɖ mntm, bn pensiv, bt on ɖ apiṛns v hiz cmpańnz h asymd a mor ćirfl er, n ɖe sat dǎn t īt. Ɖ mīl wz qcli dspaćt. Ɖ yuñ wmn wz agn okpaid in arenjñ ɖ cotij, ɖ old man wōct bfr ɖ cotij in ɖ sún fr a fy minits, līnñ on ɖ arm v ɖ yʈ. Nʈñ cd xid in byti ɖ contrast btwn ɖz tū xḷnt crīćrz. Wn wz old, wɖ silvr herz n a cǎntinns bīmñ wɖ bnevḷns n luv; ɖ yungr wz slît n gresfl in hiz figr, n hiz fīćrz wr moldd wɖ ɖ fînist siṃtri, yt hiz îz n attyd xprest ɖ utmost sadnis n dspondnsi. Ɖ old man rtrnd t ɖ cotij, n ɖ yʈ, wɖ tūlz difṛnt fṛm ɖoz h hd yzd in ɖ mornñ, d’rectd hiz steps acrs ɖ fīldz.

“Nît qcli śut in, bt t mî xtrim wundr, I faund ɖt ɖ cotijrz hd a mīnz v pṛloññ lît bî ɖ ys v teprz, n wz dlîtd t fînd ɖt ɖ setñ v ɖ sún dd nt pt an end t ɖ pleźr I xpirịnst in woćñ mî hymn nebrz. In ɖ īvnñ ɖ yuñ grl n hr cmpańn wr imploid in verịs okpeśnz ẃć I dd nt unḍstand; n ɖ old man agn tc p ɖ instṛmnt ẃć pṛdyst ɖ dvîn sǎndz ɖt hd inćantd m in ɖ mornñ. So sn az h hd finiśt, ɖ yʈ bgan, nt t ple, bt t utr sǎndz ɖt wr mnotṇs, n nɖr rzmḅlñ ɖ harṃni v ɖ old man’z instṛmnt nr ɖ soñz v ɖ brdz; I sins faund ɖt h réd alǎd, bt at ɖt tîm I ń nʈñ v ɖ sayns v wrdz or letrz.

“Ɖ faṃli, aftr hvñ bn ɖus okpaid fr a śort tîm, xtnḡśt ɖer lîts n rtîrd, az I cnjcćrd, t rest.”


“I lei on mî strw, bt I cd nt slīp. I ʈt v ɖ ocuṛnsiz v ɖ de. Ẃt ćīfli struc m wz ɖ jntl manrz v ɖz ppl, n I loñd t jôn ɖm, bt derd nt. I rmembrd tù wel ɖ trītmnt I hd sufrd ɖ nît bfr fṛm ɖ barbṛs vilijrz, n rzolvd, ẃtvr cors v conduct I mt hiraftr ʈnc it rît t psy, ɖt fr ɖ preznt I wd rmen qaytli in mî hovl, woćñ n indeṿrñ t dscuvr ɖ motivz ẃć inflụnst ɖer ax́nz.

“Ɖ cotijrz arouz ɖ nxt mornñ bfr ɖ sún. Ɖ yuñ wmn arenjd ɖ cotij n priperd ɖ fūd, n ɖ yʈ dpartd aftr ɖ frst mīl.“Ɖs de wz pást in ɖ sem rūtīn az ɖt ẃć prisidd it. Ɖ yuñ man wz constntli imploid ǎt v dorz, n ɖ grl in verịs l’borịs okpeśnz wɖn. Ɖ old man, hūm I sn psivd t b blînd, imploid hiz leźr aurz on hiz instṛmnt or in contmpleśn. Nʈñ cd xid ɖ luv n rspct ẃć ɖ yungr cotijrz xibtd twdz ɖer venṛbl cmpańn. Ɖe pformd twdz him evri litl ofis v afx́n n dyti wɖ jntlnis, n h rwordd ɖm bî hiz bnevlnt smîlz.

“Ɖe wr nt intîrli hapi. Ɖ yuñ man n hiz cmpańn ofn wnt apart n apird t wīp. I sw no cōz fr ɖer unhapinis, bt I wz dīpli afctd bî it. F sć luvli crīćrz wr mizṛbl, it wz les strenj ɖt I, an imprfict n solitri biyñ, śd b rećid. Yt ẃ wr ɖz jntl biyñz unhapi? Ɖe pzest a dlîtfl hǎs (fr sć it wz in mî îz) n evri lux̣́ri; ɖe hd a fîr t worm ɖm ẃn ćil n dliśs vayndz ẃn hungri; ɖe wr drest in xḷnt cloɖz; n, stl mor, ɖe injoid wn anɖr’z cumṗni n spīć, inṭćenjñ ć de lcs v afx́n n cîndnis. Ẃt dd ɖer tirz implî? Dd ɖe riyli xpres pen? I wz at frst unebl t solv ɖz qsćnz, bt ppećl atnśn n tîm xplend t m mni apiṛnsz ẃć wr at frst eṇgmatic.

“A cnsidṛbl pirịd ilapst bfr I dscuvrd wn v ɖ cōzz v ɖ unīzinis v ɖs emịbl faṃli: it wz poṿti, n ɖe sufrd ɖt īvl in a vri dstresñ dgri. Ɖer nuriśmnt cnsistd intîrli v ɖ vejtblz v ɖer gardn n ɖ milc v wn cǎ, ẃć gev vri litl jrñ ɖ wintr, ẃn its mastrz cd scersli pṛkr fūd t s’port it. Ɖe ofn, I b’liv, sufrd ɖ pañz v hungr vri pôńntli, ispeṣ́li ɖ tū yungr cotijrz, fr sevṛl tîmz ɖe plest fūd bfr ɖ old man ẃn ɖe rzrvd nn fr ɖmslvz.

“Ɖs tret v cîndnis muvd m snṣbli. I hd bn acustmd, jrñ ɖ nît, t stìl a part v ɖer stor fr mî ǒn cnsumśn, bt ẃn I faund ɖt in dwñ ɖs I inflictd pen on ɖ cotijrz, I abstend n saṭsfaid mslf wɖ bériz, nuts, n rūts ẃć I gaɖrd fṛm a neḅrñ wŭd.

“I dscuvrd olso anɖr mīnz ʈru ẃć I wz inebld t asist ɖer lebrz. I faund ɖt ɖ yʈ spent a gret part v ć de in c’lectñ wŭd fr ɖ faṃlifîr, n jrñ ɖ nît I ofn tc hiz tūlz, ɖ ys v ẃć I qcli dscuvrd, n bròt hom fîrñ sfiśnt fr ɖ cnsumśn v sevṛl dez.

“I rmembr, ɖ frst tîm ɖt I dd ɖs, ɖ yuñ wmn, ẃn ś opnd ɖ dor in ɖ mornñ, apird gretli astoniśt on siyñ a gret pîl v wŭd on ɖ ǎtsd. Ś utrd sm wrdz in a lǎd vôs, n ɖ yʈ jônd hr, hu olso xprest s’prîz. I obzrvd, wɖ pleźr, ɖt h dd nt g t ɖ forist ɖt de, bt spent it in rperñ ɖ cotij n cultvetñ ɖ gardn.

“Bî dgriz I md a dscuṿri v stl gretr momnt. I faund ɖt ɖz ppl pzest a meʈ̇d v cḿṇcetñ ɖer xpirịns n fīlñz t wn anɖr bî artikḷt sǎndz. I psivd ɖt ɖ wrdz ɖe spouc smtmz pṛdyst pleźr or pen, smîlz or sadnis, in ɖ mîndz n cǎntinnsz v ɖ hírrz. Ɖs wz indd a godlîc sayns, n I ardntli dzîrd t bcm aqentd wɖ it. Bt I wz bafld in evri atmt I md fr ɖs prṗs. Ɖer pṛnunsieśn wz qc, n ɖ wrdz ɖe utrd, nt hvñ eni apaṛnt cnx́n wɖ viẓbl objicts, I wz unebl t dscuvr eni clu bî ẃć I cd unravl ɖ misṭri v ɖer refṛns. Bî gret apḷceśn, hvr, n aftr hvñ rmend jrñ ɖ spes v sevṛl reṿluśnz v ɖ mūn in mî hovl, I dscuvrd ɖ nemz ɖt wr gvn t sm v ɖ most fmiłr objicts v discors; I lrnt n aplaid ɖ wrdz, ‘fîr,’ ‘milc,’ ‘bred,’ n ‘wŭd.’ I lrnt olso ɖ nemz v ɖ cotijrz ɖmslvz. Ɖ yʈ n hiz cmpańn hd ć v ɖm sevṛl nemz, bt ɖ old man hd onli wn, ẃć wz ‘faɖr.’ Ɖ grl wz cōld ‘sistr’ or ‘Aġʈa,’ n ɖ yʈ ‘Fīlix,’ ‘bruɖr,’ or ‘sun.’ I canot dscrîb ɖ dlît I flt ẃn I lrnt ɖ îdīaz aproprietd t ć v ɖz sǎndz n wz ebl t pṛnǎns ɖm. I dstnḡśt sevṛl uɖr wrdz wɖt biyñ ebl az yt t unḍstand or aplî ɖm, sć az ‘gd,’ ‘dirist,’ ‘unhapi.’

“I spent ɖ wintr in ɖs manr. Ɖ jntl manrz n byti v ɖ cotijrz gretli indird ɖm t m; ẃn ɖe wr unhapi, I flt dprest; ẃn ɖe rjôst, I simṗʈîzd in ɖer jôz. I sw fy hymn biyñz bsdz ɖm, n f eni uɖr hapnd t entr ɖ cotij, ɖer harś manrz n rūd geit onli inhanst t m ɖ s’pirịr acumpliśmnts v mî frendz. Ɖ old man, I cd psiv, ofn indevrd t incurij hiz ćildṛn, az smtmz I faund ɖt h cōld ɖm, t cast of ɖer meḷnc̣li. H wd tōc in a ćirfl axnt, wɖ an xpreśn v gdnis ɖt bstoud pleźr īvn upn m. Aġʈa lisnd wɖ rspct, hr îz smtmz fild wɖ tirz, ẃć ś indevrd t wîp awe unṗsivd; bt I jenṛli faund ɖt hr cǎntinns n ton wr mor ćirfl aftr hvñ lisnd t ɖ xorteśnz v hr faɖr. It wz nt ɖus wɖ Fīlix. H wz olwz ɖ sedist v ɖ grūp, n īvn t mî unpractist snsz, h apird t hv sufrd mor dīpli ɖn hiz frendz. Bt f hiz cǎntinns wz mor soṛfl, hiz vôs wz mor ćirfl ɖn ɖt v hiz sistr, ispeṣ́li ẃn h adrest ɖ old man.

“I cd mnśn ińmṛbl instnsz ẃć, olɖo slît, marct ɖ disṗziśnz v ɖz emịbl cotijrz. In ɖ mdst v poṿti n wont, Fīlix carid wɖ pleźr t hiz sistr ɖ frst litl ẃît flǎr ɖt pīpt ǎt fṛm bnʈ ɖ snǒi grǎnd. Rli in ɖ mornñ, bfr ś hd rizn, h clird awe ɖ sno ɖt obstructd hr paʈ t ɖ milchǎs, drù wōtr fṛm ɖ wel, n bròt ɖ wŭd fṛm ɖ ǎthǎs, ẃr, t hiz ppećl astoniśmnt, h faund hiz stor olwz rpleniśt bî an inviẓbl hand. In ɖ de, I b’liv, h wrct smtmz fr a neḅrñ farmr, bcz h ofn wnt fʈ n dd nt rtrn untl dinr, yt bròt no wŭd wɖ him. At uɖr tîmz h wrct in ɖ gardn, bt az ɖr wz litl t d in ɖ frosti sīzn, h réd t ɖ old man n Aġʈa.

“Ɖs rīdñ hd puzld m xtrimli at frst, bt bî dgriz I dscuvrd ɖt h utrd mni v ɖ sem sǎndz ẃn h réd az ẃn h tōct. I cnjcćrd, ɖrfr, ɖt h faund on ɖ pepr sînz fr spīć ẃć h unḍstd, n I ardntli loñd t comprihnd ɖz olso; bt hǎ wz ɖt poṣbl ẃn I dd nt īvn unḍstand ɖ sǎndz fr ẃć ɖe std az sînz? I impruvd, hvr, snṣbli in ɖs sayns, bt nt sfiśntli t folo p eni cnd v convseśn, olɖo I aplaid mî hol mînd t ɖ indevr, fr I īẓli psivd ɖt, olɖo I īgrli loñd t dscuvr mslf t ɖ cotijrz, I òt nt t mc ɖ atmt untl I hd frst bcm mastr v ɖer lanḡj, ẃć nolij mt inebl m t mc ɖm oṿlc ɖ dforṃti v mî figr, fr wɖ ɖs olso ɖ contrast ppć̣li prizntd t mî îz hd md m aqentd.

“I hd admîrd ɖ prfict formz v mî cotijrz—ɖer gres, byti, n delic̣t cmplex́nz; bt hǎ wz I teṛfaid ẃn I vyd mslf in a trnspaṛnt pūl! At frst I startd bac, unebl t b’liv ɖt it wz indd I hu wz rflectd in ɖ mirr; n ẃn I bcem fŭli cnvinst ɖt I wz in riaḷti ɖ monstr ɖt I am, I wz fild wɖ ɖ biṭrist snseśnz v dspondns n mortif̣ceśn. Alas! I dd nt yt intîrli nǒ ɖ fetl ifcts v ɖs mizṛbl dforṃti.

“Az ɖ sún bcem wormr n ɖ lît v de longr, ɖ sno vaniśt, n I bheld ɖ bér triz n ɖ blac rʈ. Fṛm ɖs tîm Fīlix wz mor imploid, n ɖ hart-muvñ indceśnz v impndñ famin dis’pird. Ɖer fūd, az I aftwdz faund, wz cōrs, bt it wz holsm; n ɖe pṛkrd a sfiśnsi v it. Sevṛl ny cndz v plants sprañ p in ɖ gardn, ẃć ɖe drest; n ɖz sînz v cumf̣t incrist dêli az ɖ sīzn advanst.

“Ɖ old man, līnñ on hiz sun, wōct ć de at nūn, ẃn it dd nt ren, az I faund it wz cōld ẃn ɖ hevnz pord fʈ its wōtrz. Ɖs frīqntli tc ples, bt a hî wind qcli draid ɖ rʈ, n ɖ sīzn bcem far mor pleznt ɖn it hd bn.

“Mî mod v lîf in mî hovl wz yṇform. Jrñ ɖ mornñ I atndd ɖ mośnz v ɖ cotijrz, n ẃn ɖe wr dsprst in verịs okpeśnz, I slept; ɖ rmendr v ɖ de wz spent in obzrvñ mî frendz. Ẃn ɖe hd rtîrd t rest, f ɖr wz eni mūn or ɖ nît wz star-lît, I wnt intu ɖ wŭdz n c’lectd mî ǒn fūd n fyl fr ɖ cotij. Ẃn I rtrnd, az ofn az it wz nesṣri, I clird ɖer paʈ fṛm ɖ sno n pformd ɖoz of̣sz ɖt I hd sìn dn bî Fīlix. I aftwdz faund ɖt ɖz lebrz, pformd bî an inviẓbl hand, gretli astoniśt ɖm; n wns or twîs I hŕd ɖm, on ɖz oceźnz, utr ɖ wrdz ‘gd spirit,’ ‘wundrfl’; bt I dd nt ɖen unḍstand ɖ signif̣ceśn v ɖz trmz.

“Mî ʈts nǎ bcem mor activ, n I loñd t dscuvr ɖ motivz n fīlñz v ɖz luvli crīćrz; I wz inqiztiv t nǒ ẃ Fīlix apird so mizṛbl n Aġʈa so sad. I ʈt (fūliś reć!) ɖt it mt b in mî pǎr t rstor hapinis t ɖz dzrvñ ppl. Ẃn I slept or wz absnt, ɖ formz v ɖ venṛbl blînd faɖr, ɖ jntl Aġʈa, n ɖ xḷnt Fīlix flitd bfr m. I lct upn ɖm az s’pirịr biyñz hu wd b ɖ arbitrz v mî fyćr desṭni. I formd in mî imaɉneśn a ʈǎznd picćrz v prizntñ mslf t ɖm, n ɖer rspśn v m. I imajind ɖt ɖe wd b dsgustd, untl, bî mî jntl dmīnr n cnsilietñ wrdz, I śd frst win ɖer fevr n aftwdz ɖer luv.

“Ɖz ʈts xiḷretd m n léd m t aplî wɖ freś ardr t ɖ aqîrñ ɖ art v lanḡj. Mî orgnz wr indd harś, bt supl; n olɖo mî vôs wz vri unlîc ɖ soft ḿzic v ɖer tonz, yt I pṛnǎnst sć wrdz az I unḍstd wɖ tolṛbl īz. It wz az ɖ as n ɖ lapdog; yt śrli ɖ jntl as huz intnśnz wr afx́ṇt, olɖo hiz manrz wr rūd, dzrvd betr trītmnt ɖn bloz n x’creśn.

“Ɖ pleznt śǎrz n jīńl wormʈ v sprñ gretli oltrd ɖ aspect v ɖ rʈ. Men hu bfr ɖs ćenj sīmd t hv bn hid in cevz dsprst ɖmslvz n wr imploid in verịs arts v cultveśn. Ɖ brdz sañ in mor ćirfl nots, n ɖ līvz bgan t bud fʈ on ɖ triz. Hapi, hapi rʈ! Fit habteśn fr godz, ẃć, so śort a tîm bfr, wz blīc, damp, n unholsm. Mî spirits wr eḷvetd bî ɖ inćantñ apiṛns v nećr; ɖ past wz blotd fṛm mî meṃri, ɖ preznt wz tranqil, n ɖ fyćr gíldd bî brît rez v hop n antiṣpeśnz v jô.”


“I nǎ hesn t ɖ mor muvñ part v mî stori. I śl rlet ivnts ɖt imprest m wɖ fīlñz ẃć, fṛm ẃt I hd bn, hv md m ẃt I am.

“Sprñ advanst rapidli; ɖ weɖr bcem fîn n ɖ scîz clǎdlis. It s’prîzd m ɖt ẃt bfr wz deẓt n glūmi śd nǎ blūm wɖ ɖ most bytifl flǎrz n vrdyr. Mî snsz wr graṭfaid n rfreśt bî a ʈǎznd sénts v dlît n a ʈǎznd sîts v byti.“It wz on wn v ɖz dez, ẃn mî cotijrz piriodicli restd fṛm lebr—ɖ old man pleid on hiz gitar, n ɖ ćildṛn lisnd t him—ɖt I obzrvd ɖ cǎntinns v Fīlix wz meḷnc̣li bynd xpreśn; h said frīqntli, n wns hiz faɖr pōzd in hiz ḿzic, n I cnjcćrd bî hiz manr ɖt h inqîrd ɖ cōz v hiz sun’z soro. Fīlix rplaid in a ćirfl axnt, n ɖ old man wz rīc̣mnsñ hiz ḿzic ẃn smwn tapt at ɖ dor.

“It wz a ledi on horsbac, acumṗnid bî a cuntrimn az a gîd. Ɖ ledi wz drest in a darc sūt n cuvrd wɖ a ʈic blac veil. Aġʈa asct a qsćn, t ẃć ɖ strenjr onli rplaid bî pṛnǎnsñ, in a swīt axnt, ɖ nem v Fīlix. Hr vôs wz ḿzicl bt unlîc ɖt v îɖr v mî frendz. On hírñ ɖs wrd, Fīlix cem p hesṭli t ɖ ledi, hu, ẃn ś sw him, ʈrù p hr veil, n I bheld a cǎntinns v anjelic byti n xpreśn. Hr her v a śînñ revn blac, n krịsli brêdd; hr îz wr darc, bt jntl, olɖo aṇmetd; hr fīćrz v a reğlr pṛporśn, n hr cmplex́n wundṛsli fer, ć ćīc tinjd wɖ a luvli pnc.

“Fīlix sīmd raviśt wɖ dlît ẃn h sw hr, evri tret v soro vaniśt fṛm hiz fes, n it instntli xprest a dgri v xtatic jô, v ẃć I cd hardli hv b’livd it ceṗbl; hiz îz sparcld, az hiz ćīc fluśt wɖ pleźr; n at ɖt momnt I ʈt him az bytifl az ɖ strenjr. Ś apird afctd bî difṛnt fīlñz; wîpñ a fy tirz fṛm hr luvli îz, ś hld ǎt hr hand t Fīlix, hu cist it rapćṛsli n cōld hr, az wel az I cd dstnḡś, hiz swīt Arebịn. Ś dd nt apir t unḍstand him, bt smîld. H asistd hr t dsmǎnt, n dsmisñ hr gîd, cnductd hr intu ɖ cotij. Sm convseśn tc ples btwn him n hiz faɖr, n ɖ yuñ strenjr nlt at ɖ old man’z fīt n wd hv cist hiz hand, bt h rezd hr n imbrest hr afx́ṇtli.

“I sn psivd ɖt olɖo ɖ strenjr utrd artikḷt sǎndz n apird t hv a lanḡj v hr ǒn, ś wz nɖr unḍstd bî nr hrslf unḍstd ɖ cotijrz. Ɖe md mni sînz ẃć I dd nt comprihnd, bt I sw ɖt hr prezns dfyzd gladnis ʈru ɖ cotij, dspelñ ɖer soro az ɖ sún diṣpets ɖ mornñmists. Fīlix sīmd pkłrli hapi n wɖ smîlz v dlît welcmd hiz Arebịn. Aġʈa, ɖ evr-jntl Aġʈa, cist ɖ handz v ɖ luvli strenjr, n pôntñ t hr bruɖr, md sînz ẃć apird t m t mīn ɖt h hd bn soṛfl untl ś cem. Sm aurz pást ɖus, ẃl ɖe, bî ɖer cǎntinnsz, xprest jô, ɖ cōz v ẃć I dd nt comprihnd. Prezntli I faund, bî ɖ frīqnt rcuṛns v sm sǎnd ẃć ɖ strenjr rpitd aftr ɖm, ɖt ś wz indeṿrñ t lrn ɖer lanḡj; n ɖ îdīa instntli ocŕd t m ɖt I śd mc ys v ɖ sem instrux́nz t ɖ sem end. Ɖ strenjr lrnt abt twenti wrdz at ɖ frst lésn; most v ɖm, indd, wr ɖoz ẃć I hd bfr unḍstd, bt I prof̣td bî ɖ uɖrz.

“Az nît cem on, Aġʈa n ɖ Arebịn rtîrd rli. Ẃn ɖe seṗretd Fīlix cist ɖ hand v ɖ strenjr n sd, ‘Gd nît swīt Safī.’ H sat p mć longr, cnvrsñ wɖ hiz faɖr, n bî ɖ frīqnt reṗtiśn v hr nem I cnjcćrd ɖt ɖer luvli gest wz ɖ subjict v ɖer convseśn. I ardntli dzîrd t unḍstand ɖm, n bnt evri faclti twdz ɖt prṗs, bt faund it utrli imposbl.

“Ɖ nxt mornñ Fīlix wnt ǎt t hiz wrc, n aftr ɖ yźl okpeśnz v Aġʈa wr finiśt, ɖ Arebịn sat at ɖ fīt v ɖ old man, n tecñ hiz gitar, pleid sm erz so intransñli bytifl ɖt ɖe at wns drù tirz v soro n dlît fṛm mî îz. Ś sañ, n hr vôs floud in a rić cedns, swelñ or dayñ awe lîc a nîtngel v ɖ wŭdz.

“Ẃn ś hd finiśt, ś gev ɖ gitar t Aġʈa, hu at frst dclînd it. Ś pleid a simpl er, n hr vôs acumṗnid it in swīt axnts, bt unlîc ɖ wundṛs stren v ɖ strenjr. Ɖ old man apird inrapćrd n sd sm wrdz ẃć Aġʈa indevrd t xplen t Safī, n bî ẃć h apird t wś t xpres ɖt ś bstoud on him ɖ gretist dlît bî hr ḿzic.

“Ɖ dez nǎ pást az pīṣbli az bfr, wɖ ɖ sol olṭreśn ɖt jô hd tecn ples v sadnis in ɖ cǎntinnsz v mî frendz. Safī wz olwz ge n hapi; ś n I impruvd rapidli in ɖ nolij v lanḡj, so ɖt in tū munʈs I bgan t comprihnd most v ɖ wrdz utrd bî mî pṛtctrz.

“In ɖ mnẃl olso ɖ blac grǎnd wz cuvrd wɖ hrbij, n ɖ grīn bancs inṭsprst wɖ ińmṛbl flǎrz, swīt t ɖ sént n ɖ îz, starz v pel redịns amñ ɖ mūnlît wŭdz; ɖ sún bcem wormr, ɖ nîts clir n bāmi; n mî noctrnl ramblz wr an xtrim pleźr t m, olɖo ɖe wr cnsidṛbli śortnd bî ɖ lêt setñ n rli rîzñ v ɖ sún, fr I nvr vnćrd abrōd jrñ dêlît, firfl v mītñ wɖ ɖ sem trītmnt I hd formrli indyrd in ɖ frst vilij ẃć I entrd.

“Mî dez wr spent in clos atnśn, ɖt I mt mor spīḍli mastr ɖ lanḡj; n I me bost ɖt I impruvd mor rapidli ɖn ɖ Arebịn, hu unḍstd vri litl n cnvrst in brocn axnts, ẃlst I comprihndd n cd iṃtet olmst evri wrd ɖt wz spocn.

“Ẃl I impruvd in spīć, I olso lrnt ɖ sayns v letrz az it wz tòt t ɖ strenjr, n ɖs opnd bfr m a wîd fīld fr wundr n dlît.

“Ɖ bc fṛm ẃć Fīlix instructd Safī wz Volne’z Ruinz v Empîrz. I śd nt hv unḍstd ɖ pport v ɖs bc hd nt Fīlix, in rīdñ it, gvn vri mînyt xpḷneśnz. H hd ćozn ɖs wrc, h sd, bcz ɖ dclaṃtri stîl wz fremd in iṃteśn v ɖ Īstn oʈrz. Ʈru ɖs wrc I obtend a crṣri nolij v hisṭri n a vy v ɖ sevṛl empîrz at preznt xistñ in ɖ wrld; it gev m an insît intu ɖ manrz, guvnmnts, n rlijnz v ɖ difṛnt neśnz v ɖ rʈ. I hŕd v ɖ sloʈfl Eziatics, v ɖ stypnds jīńs n mntl activti v ɖ Grìśnz, v ɖ worz n wundrfl vrću v ɖ rli Romnz—v ɖer subsiqnt djeṇretñ—v ɖ dclîn v ɖt mîti empîr, v śivlri, Cristiaṇti, n cñz. I hŕd v ɖ dscuṿri v ɖ Americn heṃsfir n wept wɖ Safī ovr ɖ haplis fet v its orijinl inhabitnts.

“Ɖz wundrfl nreśnz inspîrd m wɖ strenj fīlñz. Wz man, indd, at wns so pǎrfl, so vrćs n mgnifisnt, yt so viśs n bes? H apird at wn tîm a mir sayn v ɖ īvl prínsipl n at anɖr az ol ɖt cn b cnsivd v nobl n godlîc. T b a gret n vrćs man apird ɖ hîist onr ɖt cn bfōl a snṣtiv biyñ; t b bes n viśs, az mni on record hv bn, apird ɖ lǒist degṛdeśn, a cndiśn mor abject ɖn ɖt v ɖ blînd mol or harmlis wrm. Fr a loñ tîm I cd nt cnsiv hǎ wn man cd g fʈ t mrdr hiz felo, or īvn ẃ ɖr wr lwz n guvnmnts; bt ẃn I hŕd dītelz v vîs n bludśed, mî wundr sīst n I trnd awe wɖ dsgust n loɖñ.

“Evri convseśn v ɖ cotijrz nǎ opnd ny wundrz t m. Ẃl I lisnd t ɖ instrux́nz ẃć Fīlix bstoud upn ɖ Arebịn, ɖ strenj sistm v hymn ssayti wz xplend t m. I hŕd v ɖ dviźn v proṗti, v imns wlʈ n sqolid poṿti, v ranc, dsent, n nobl blud.

“Ɖ wrdz indyst m t trn twdz mslf. I lrnt ɖt ɖ pześnz most istimd bî yr felocrīćrz wr hî n unsulid dsent ynîtd wɖ rićz. A man mt b rspctd wɖ onli wn v ɖz advantjz, bt wɖt îɖr h wz cnsidrd, xpt in vri rer instnsz, az a vaġbond n a slev, dūmd t west hiz pǎrz fr ɖ profits v ɖ ćozn fy! N ẃt wz I? V mî crieśn n crietr I wz abṣlutli ignṛnt, bt I ń ɖt I pzest no muni, no frendz, no cnd v proṗti. I wz, bsdz, indyd wɖ a figr hidịsli dformd n loɖsm; I wz nt īvn v ɖ sem nećr az man. I wz mor ajîl ɖn ɖe n cd sbsist upn cōrsr dayt; I bòr ɖ xtrīmz v hīt n cold wɖ les inɉri t mî frem; mî staćr far xidd ɖerz. Ẃn I lct arnd I sw n hŕd v nn lîc m. Wz I, ɖen, a monstr, a blot upn ɖ rʈ, fṛm ẃć ol men fled n hūm ol men dsond?

“I canot dscrîb t y ɖ aġni ɖt ɖz rflex́nz inflictd upn m; I traid t dspel ɖm, bt soro onli incrist wɖ nolij. Ǒ, ɖt I hd fr evr rmend in mî netiv wŭd, nr noun nr flt bynd ɖ snseśnz v hungr, ʈrst, n hīt!

“V ẃt a strenj nećr z nolij! It clñz t ɖ mînd ẃn it hz wns sizd on it lîc a laicn on ɖ roc. I wśt smtmz t śec of ol ʈt n fīlñ, bt I lrnt ɖt ɖr wz bt wn mīnz t oṿcm ɖ snseśn v pen, n ɖt wz deʈ—a stet ẃć I fird yt dd nt unḍstand. I admîrd vrću n gd fīlñz n luvd ɖ jntl manrz n emịbl qoḷtz v mî cotijrz, bt I wz śut ǎt fṛm inṭcors wɖ ɖm, xpt ʈru mīnz ẃć I obtend bî stelʈ, ẃn I wz unsìn n uņoun, n ẃć rɖr incrist ɖn saṭsfaid ɖ dzîr I hd v bcmñ wn amñ mî feloz. Ɖ jntl wrdz v Aġʈa n ɖ aṇmetd smîlz v ɖ ćarmñ Arebịn wr nt fr m. Ɖ mîld xorteśnz v ɖ old man n ɖ lîvli convseśn v ɖ luvd Fīlix wr nt fr m. Mizṛbl, unhapi reć!

“Uɖr lésnz wr imprest upn m īvn mor dīpli. I hŕd v ɖ difṛns v sxz, n ɖ brʈ n groʈ v ćildṛn, hǎ ɖ faɖr dǒtd on ɖ smîlz v ɖ inf̣nt, n ɖ lîvli saliz v ɖ oldr ćîld, hǎ ol ɖ lîf n cerz v ɖ muɖr wr rápt p in ɖ preśs ćarj, hǎ ɖ mînd v yʈ xpandd n gend nolij, v bruɖr, sistr, n ol ɖ verịs rleśnśps ẃć bînd wn hymn biyñ t anɖr in ḿćl bondz.

“Bt ẃr wr mî frendz n rleśnz? No faɖr hd woćt mî inf̣nt dez, no muɖr hd blest m wɖ smîlz n c’resz; or f ɖe hd, ol mî past lîf wz nǎ a blot, a blînd vecnsi in ẃć I dstnḡśt nʈñ. Fṛm mî rliist rmembṛns I hd bn az I ɖen wz in hît n pṛporśn. I hd nvr yt sìn a biyñ rzmḅlñ m or hu clemd eni inṭcors wɖ m. Ẃt wz I? Ɖ qsćn agn rcŕd, t b ansrd onli wɖ gronz.

“I wl sn xplen t ẃt ɖz fīlñz tndd, bt alǎ m nǎ t rtrn t ɖ cotijrz, huz stori xîtd in m sć verịs fīlñz v inḍgneśn, dlît, n wundr, bt ẃć ol trṃnetd in adiśnl luv n revṛns fr mî pṛtctrz (fr so I luvd, in an iṇsnt, haf-penfl slf-dsit, t cōl ɖm).”


“Sm tîm ilapst bfr I lrnt ɖ hisṭri v mî frendz. It wz wn ẃć cd nt fel t impres itslf dīpli on mî mînd, unfoldñ az it dd a numbr v srcmstansz, ć inṭrestñ n wundrfl t wn so utrli inxpirịnst az I wz.

“Ɖ nem v ɖ old man wz D’Lesi. H wz dsndd fṛm a gd faṃli in Frans, ẃr h hd livd fr mni yirz in aflụns, rspctd bî hiz s’pirịrz n b’luvid bî hiz īqlz. Hiz sun wz bréd in ɖ srvis v hiz cuntri, n Aġʈa hd ranct wɖ lediz v ɖ hîist dstñśn. A fy munʈs bfr mî arîvl ɖe hd livd in a larj n l’gźurịs siti cōld Paris, srǎndd bî frendz n pzest v evri injômnt ẃć vrću, rfînmnt v inṭlect, or test, acumṗnid bî a modṛt fortyn, cd aford.“Ɖ faɖr v Safī hd bn ɖ cōz v ɖer ruin. H wz a Trciś mrćnt n hd inhaḅtd Paris fr mni yirz, ẃn, fr sm rīzn ẃć I cd nt lrn, h bcem obnox́s t ɖ guvnmnt. H wz sizd n cast intu prizn ɖ vri de ɖt Safī arîvd fṛm Constanṭnopl t jôn him. H wz traid n cndemd t deʈ. Ɖ injustis v hiz sntns wz vri flegṛnt; ol Paris wz indignnt; n it wz jujd ɖt hiz rlijn n wlʈ rɖr ɖn ɖ crîm alejd agnst him hd bn ɖ cōz v hiz condmneśn.

“Fīlix hd axdnṭli bn preznt at ɖ trîl; hiz horr n inḍgneśn wr uncntroḷbl ẃn h hŕd ɖ dsiźn v ɖ cort. H md, at ɖt momnt, a soḷm vǎ t dlivr him n ɖen lct arnd fr ɖ mīnz. Aftr mni frūtlis atmts t gen admitns t ɖ prizn, h faund a stroñli greitd windo in an ungardd part v ɖ bildñ, ẃć lîtd ɖ dunjn v ɖ unforćṇt Mhaṃdn, hu, lodd wɖ ćenz, wêtd in dsper ɖ x’kśn v ɖ barbṛs sntns. Fīlix viẓtd ɖ greit at nît n md noun t ɖ priznr hiz intnśnz in hiz fevr. Ɖ Trc, amezd n dlîtd, indevrd t cindl ɖ zīl v hiz dlivrr bî proṃsz v rword n wlʈ. Fīlix rjctd hiz ofrz wɖ cntmt, yt ẃn h sw ɖ luvli Safī, hu wz alaud t vizit hr faɖr n hu bî hr jsćrz xprest hr lîvli grattyd, ɖ yʈ cd nt hlp ǒnñ t hiz ǒn mînd ɖt ɖ captiv pzest a treźr ẃć wd fŭli rword hiz tôl n haẓd.

“Ɖ Trc qcli psivd ɖ impreśn ɖt hiz dōtr hd md on ɖ hart v Fīlix n indevrd t s’kr him mor intîrli in hiz inṭrests bî ɖ promis v hr hand in marij so sn az h śd b cnveid t a ples v sefti. Fīlix wz tù delic̣t t axpt ɖs ofr, yt h lct fwd t ɖ probbiḷti v ɖ ivnt az t ɖ consymeśn v hiz hapinis.

“Jrñ ɖ insywñ dez, ẃl ɖ preṗreśnz wr gwñ fwd fr ɖ iscep v ɖ mrćnt, ɖ zīl v Fīlix wz wormd bî sevṛl letrz ɖt h rsivd fṛm ɖs luvli grl, hu faund mīnz t xpres hr ʈts in ɖ lanḡj v hr luvr bî ɖ ed v an old man, a srvnt v hr faɖr hu unḍstd Frenć. Ś ʈanct him in ɖ most ardnt trmz fr hiz intndd srṿsz twdz hr peṛnt, n at ɖ sem tîm ś jntli dplord hr ǒn fet.

“I hv copiz v ɖz letrz, fr I faund mīnz, jrñ mî rezidns in ɖ hovl, t pṛkr ɖ implimnts v raitñ; n ɖ letrz wr ofn in ɖ handz v Fīlix or Aġʈa. Bfr I dpart I wl gv ɖm t y; ɖe wl pruv ɖ truʈ v mî têl; bt at preznt, az ɖ sún z olrdi far dclînd, I śl onli hv tîm t rpit ɖ substns v ɖm t y.

“Safī rletd ɖt hr muɖr wz a Crisćn Aṛb, sizd n md a slev bî ɖ Trcs; rec̣mndd bî hr byti, ś hd wún ɖ hart v ɖ faɖr v Safī, hu marid hr. Ɖ yuñ grl spouc in hî n inʈyziastic trmz v hr muɖr, hu, born in frīdm, sprnd ɖ bondij t ẃć ś wz nǎ rdyst. Ś instructd hr dōtr in ɖ tenits v hr rlijn n tòt hr t aspîr t hayr pǎrz v inṭlect n an indipndns v spirit fbidn t ɖ fīmel folowrz v Mhaṃd. Ɖs ledi daid, bt hr lésnz wr indeḷbli imprest on ɖ mînd v Safī, hu sicnd at ɖ prospect v agn rtrnñ t Eźa n biyñ iḿrd wɖn ɖ wōlz v a harīm, alaud onli t okpî hrslf wɖ infntîl aḿzmnts, il-sūtd t ɖ tmpr v hr soul, nǎ acustmd t grand îdīaz n a nobl eḿleśn v vrću. Ɖ prospect v mariyñ a Crisćn n rmenñ in a cuntri ẃr wimin wr alaud t tec a ranc in ssayti wz inćantñ t hr.

“Ɖ de fr ɖ x’kśn v ɖ Trc wz fixt, bt on ɖ nît prīvịs t it h qitd hiz prizn n bfr mornñ wz distnt mni līgz fṛm Paris. Fīlix hd pṛkrd pasports in ɖ nem v hiz faɖr, sistr, n himslf. H hd prīvịsli cḿṇcetd hiz plan t ɖ formr, hu edd ɖ dsit bî qitñ hiz hǎs, undr ɖ pritns v a jrni n cnsild himslf, wɖ hiz dōtr, in an obskr part v Paris.

“Fīlix cnductd ɖ fyɉtivz ʈru Frans t Liõ n acrs Mõ Senī t Leghorn, ẃr ɖ mrćnt hd dsîdd t wêt a fevṛbl oṗtyṇti v pasñ intu sm part v ɖ Trciś dmińnz.

“Safī rzolvd t rmen wɖ hr faɖr untl ɖ momnt v hiz dparćr, bfr ẃć tîm ɖ Trc rnyd hiz promis ɖt ś śd b ynîtd t hiz dlivrr; n Fīlix rmend wɖ ɖm in xpcteśn v ɖt ivnt; n in ɖ mntm h injoid ɖ ssayti v ɖ Arebịn, hu xibtd twdz him ɖ simplist n tenḍrist afx́n. Ɖe cnvrst wɖ wn anɖr ʈru ɖ mīnz v an intrpritr, n smtmz wɖ ɖ intrpṛteśn v lcs; n Safī sañ t him ɖ dvîn erz v hr netiv cuntri.

“Ɖ Trc alaud ɖs intiṃsi t tec ples n incurijd ɖ hops v ɖ yʈfl luvrz, ẃl in hiz hart h hd formd far uɖr planz. H loɖd ɖ îdīa ɖt hiz dōtr śd b ynîtd t a Crisćn, bt h fird ɖ rzntmnt v Fīlix f h śd apir lūcworm, fr h ń ɖt h wz stl in ɖ pǎr v hiz dlivrr f h śd ćūz t btre him t ɖ Itałn stet ẃć ɖe inhaḅtd. H rvolvd a ʈǎznd planz bî ẃć h śd b inebld t pṛloñ ɖ dsit untl it mt b no longr nesṣri, n sīcṛtli t tec hiz dōtr wɖ him ẃn h dpartd. Hiz planz wr fsiḷtetd bî ɖ nyz ẃć arîvd fṛm Paris.

“Ɖ guvnmnt v Frans wr gretli inrejd at ɖ iscep v ɖer victim n sperd no penz t dtct n puniś hiz dlivrr. Ɖ plot v Fīlix wz qcli dscuvrd, n D’Lesi n Aġʈa wr ʈroun intu prizn. Ɖ nyz rīćt Fīlix n rǎzd him fṛm hiz drīm v pleźr. Hiz blînd n ejid faɖr n hiz jntl sistr lei in a nôsm dunjn ẃl h injoid ɖ fri er n ɖ ssayti v hr hūm h luvd. Ɖs îdīa wz torćr t him. H qcli arenjd wɖ ɖ Trc ɖt f ɖ latr śd fînd a fevṛbl oṗtyṇti fr iscep bfr Fīlix cd rtrn t Iṭli, Safī śd rmen az a bōrdr at a convnt at Leghorn; n ɖen, qitñ ɖ luvli Arebịn, h hesnd t Paris n dlivrd himslf p t ɖ vnjns v ɖ lw, hopñ t fri D’Lesi n Aġʈa bî ɖs pṛsidñ.

“H dd nt s’xid. Ɖe rmend cnfînd fr fîv munʈs bfr ɖ trîl tc ples, ɖ rzult v ẃć dprîvd ɖm v ɖer fortyn n cndemd ɖm t a ppećl xîl fṛm ɖer netiv cuntri.

“Ɖe faund a mizṛbl asîḷm in ɖ cotij in Jrṃni, ẃr I dscuvrd ɖm. Fīlix sn lrnt ɖt ɖ trećṛs Trc, fr hūm h n hiz faṃli indyrd sć unhŕd-ov opreśn, on dscuṿrñ ɖt hiz dlivrr wz ɖus rdyst t poṿti n ruin, bcem a tretr t gd fīlñ n onr n hd qitd Iṭli wɖ hiz dōtr, insultñli sndñ Fīlix a piṭns v muni t ed him, az h sd, in sm plan v fyćr menṭnns.

“Sć wr ɖ ivnts ɖt préid on ɖ hart v Fīlix n rendrd him, ẃn I frst sw him, ɖ most mizṛbl v hiz faṃli. H cd hv indyrd poṿti, n ẃl ɖs dstres hd bn ɖ mȉd v hiz vrću, h glorid in it; bt ɖ ingrattyd v ɖ Trc n ɖ los v hiz b’luvid Safī wr msfortynz mor bitr n irepṛbl. Ɖ arîvl v ɖ Arebịn nǎ infyzd ny lîf intu hiz soul.

“Ẃn ɖ nyz rīćt Leghorn ɖt Fīlix wz dprîvd v hiz wlʈ n ranc, ɖ mrćnt cmandd hiz dōtr t ʈnc no mor v hr luvr, bt t priper t rtrn t hr netiv cuntri. Ɖ jenṛs nećr v Safī wz ǎtrejd bî ɖs cmand; ś atmtd t xposć̣let wɖ hr faɖr, bt h left hr angṛli, riiṭretñ hiz t’ranicl mandet.

“A fy dez aftr, ɖ Trc entrd hiz dōtr’z apartmnt n tld hr hesṭli ɖt h hd rīzn t b’liv ɖt hiz rezidns at Leghorn hd bn dvuljd n ɖt h śd spīḍli b dlivrd p t ɖ Frenć guvnmnt; h hd consiqntli hîrd a vesl t cnve him t Constanṭnopl, fr ẃć siti h śd sêl in a fy aurz. H intndd t līv hiz dōtr undr ɖ cer v a conf̣dnśl srvnt, t folo at hr leźr wɖ ɖ gretr part v hiz proṗti, ẃć hd nt yt arîvd at Leghorn.

“Ẃn alon, Safī rzolvd in hr ǒn mînd ɖ plan v conduct ɖt it wd bcm hr t psy in ɖs imrjnsi. A rezidns in Trci wz abhoṛnt t hr; hr rlijn n hr fīlñz wr alîc avrs t it. Bî sm peprz v hr faɖr ẃć fél intu hr handz ś hŕd v ɖ xîl v hr luvr n lrnt ɖ nem v ɖ spot ẃr h ɖen rzîdd. Ś heztetd sm tîm, bt at leñʈ ś formd hr dtrṃneśn. Tecñ wɖ hr sm juwlz ɖt b’loñd t hr n a sum v muni, ś qitd Iṭli wɖ an atndnt, a netiv v Leghorn, bt hu unḍstd ɖ comn lanḡj v Trci, n dpartd fr Jrṃni.

“Ś arîvd in sefti at a tǎn abt twenti līgz fṛm ɖ cotij v D’Lesi, ẃn hr atndnt fél denjṛsli il. Safī nrst hr wɖ ɖ most dvotd afx́n, bt ɖ pur grl daid, n ɖ Arebịn wz left alon, un’qentd wɖ ɖ lanḡj v ɖ cuntri n utrli ignṛnt v ɖ custmz v ɖ wrld. Ś fél, hvr, intu gd handz. Ɖ Itałn hd mnśnd ɖ nem v ɖ spot fr ẃć ɖe wr baund, n aftr hr deʈ ɖ wmn v ɖ hǎs in ẃć ɖe hd livd tc cer ɖt Safī śd arîv in sefti at ɖ cotij v hr luvr.”


“Sć wz ɖ hisṭri v mî b’luvid cotijrz. It imprest m dīpli. I lrnt, fṛm ɖ vyz v sośl lîf ẃć it dveḷpt, t admîr ɖer vrćuz n t depṛcet ɖ vîsz v man-cnd.

“Az yt I lct upn crîm az a distnt īvl, bnevḷns n jeṇroṣti wr evr preznt bfr m, insaitñ wɖn m a dzîr t bcm an actr in ɖ bizi sīn ẃr so mni admṛbl qoḷtz wr cōld fʈ n dspleid. Bt in gvñ an acǎnt v ɖ progres v mî inṭlect, I mst nt omit a srcmstans ẃć ocŕd in ɖ bginñ v ɖ munʈ v Ōġst v ɖ sem yir.“Wn nît jrñ mî acustmd vizit t ɖ neḅrñ wŭd ẃr I c’lectd mî ǒn fūd n bròt hom fîrñ fr mî pṛtctrz, I faund on ɖ grǎnd a leɖn portmanto cntenñ sevṛl articlz v dres n sm bcs. I īgrli sizd ɖ prîz n rtrnd wɖ it t mî hovl. Forćṇtli ɖ bcs wr ritn in ɖ lanḡj, ɖ elimnts v ẃć I hd aqîrd at ɖ cotij; ɖe cnsistd v Paṛdîs Lost, a volym v Plūtarc’s Lîvz, n ɖ Soroz v Vertr. Ɖ pześn v ɖz treźrz gev m xtrim dlît; I nǎ cntińli studid n x’sîzd mî mînd upn ɖz hisṭriz, ẃlst mî frendz wr imploid in ɖer ordnri okpeśnz.

“I cn hardli dscrîb t y ɖ ifct v ɖz bcs. Ɖe pṛdyst in m an infiṇti v ny iṃjz n fīlñz, ɖt smtmz rezd m t xṭsi, bt mor frīqntli sunc m intu ɖ lǒist djx́n. In ɖ Soroz v Vertr, bsdz ɖ inṭrest v its simpl n afctñ stori, so mni opińnz r cánvst n so mni lîts ʈroun upn ẃt hd hiɖrtu bn t m obskr subjicts ɖt I faund in it a nvr-endñ sors v spekleśn n astoniśmnt. Ɖ jntl n dmestic manrz it dscrîbd, cmbînd wɖ lofti sntimnts n fīlñz, ẃć hd fr ɖer objict smʈñ ǎt v slf, acordd wel wɖ mî xpirịns amñ mî pṛtctrz n wɖ ɖ wonts ẃć wr fr evr alîv in mî ǒn bŭzm. Bt I ʈt Vertr himslf a mor dvîn biyñ ɖn I hd evr bheld or imajind; hiz caṛctr cntend no pritnśn, bt it sanc dīp. Ɖ disqziśnz upn deʈ n suisîd wr calkletd t fil m wɖ wundr. I dd nt pritnd t entr intu ɖ merits v ɖ ces, yt I inclînd twdz ɖ opińnz v ɖ hiro, huz xtñśn I wept, wɖt prisîsli unḍstandñ it.

“Az I réd, hvr, I aplaid mć prsṇli t mî ǒn fīlñz n cndiśn. I faund mslf similr yt at ɖ sem tîm strenjli unlîc t ɖ biyñz cnsrnñ hūm I réd n t huz convseśn I wz a lisnr. I simṗʈîzd wɖ n partli unḍstd ɖm, bt I wz unformd in mînd; I wz dpndnt on nn n rletd t nn. ‘Ɖ paʈ v mî dparćr wz fri,’ n ɖr wz nn t l’mnt mî anạleśn. Mî prsn wz hidịs n mî staćr jîgantic. Ẃt dd ɖs mīn? Hu wz I? Ẃt wz I? Ẃns dd I cm? Ẃt wz mî desṭneśn? Ɖz qsćnz cntińli rcŕd, bt I wz unebl t solv ɖm.

“Ɖ volym v Plūtarc’s Lîvz ẃć I pzest cntend ɖ hisṭriz v ɖ frst fǎndrz v ɖ enćnt rpublics. Ɖs bc hd a far difṛnt ifct upn m fṛm ɖ Soroz v Vertr. I lrnt fṛm Vertr’z imaɉneśnz dspondnsi n glūm, bt Plūtarc tòt m hî ʈts; h eḷvetd m abv ɖ rećid sfir v mî ǒn rflex́nz, t admîr n luv ɖ hiroz v past ejz. Mni ʈñz I réd s’pást mî unḍstandñ n xpirịns. I hd a vri cnfyzd nolij v cñdmz, wîd xtnts v cuntri, mîti rivrz, n bǎndlis sìz. Bt I wz prf̣cli un’qentd wɖ tǎnz n larj asmbḷjz v men. Ɖ cotij v mî pṛtctrz hd bn ɖ onli scūl in ẃć I hd studid hymn nećr, bt ɖs bc dveḷpt ny n mîtịr sīnz v ax́n. I réd v men cnsrnd in public aferz, guṿnñ or maṣcrñ ɖer spīśīz. I flt ɖ gretist ardr fr vrću rîz wɖn m, n abhoṛns fr vîs, az far az I unḍstd ɖ signif̣ceśn v ɖoz trmz, reḷtiv az ɖe wr, az I aplaid ɖm, t pleźr n pen alon. Indyst bî ɖz fīlñz, I wz v cors léd t admîr pīṣbl lw-gvrz, Nūma, Solón, n Lîcrġs, in prefṛns t Roḿḷs n Ʈīsịs. Ɖ petriarcl lîvz v mî pṛtctrz cōzd ɖz impreśnz t tec a frm hold on mî mînd; phps, f mî frst intṛdux́n t hymaṇti hd bn md bî a yuñ soljr, brnñ fr glori n slōtr, I śd hv bn imbyd wɖ difṛnt snseśnz.

“Bt Paṛdîs Lost xîtd difṛnt n far dīpr imośnz. I réd it, az I hd réd ɖ uɖr volymz ẃć hd fōḷn intu mî handz, az a tru hisṭri. It muvd evri fīlñ v wundr n ō ɖt ɖ picćr v an omniṗtnt God worñ wɖ hiz crīćrz wz ceṗbl v xîtñ. I ofn rfŕd ɖ sevṛl sićueśnz, az ɖer siṃlaṛti struc m, t mî ǒn. Lîc Adm, I wz apaṛntli ynîtd bî no linc t eni uɖr biyñ in xistns; bt hiz stet wz far difṛnt fṛm mîn in evri uɖr rspct. H hd cm fʈ fṛm ɖ handz v God a prfict crīćr, hapi n prospṛs, gardd bî ɖ ispeśl cer v hiz Crietr; h wz alaud t cnvrs wɖ n aqîr nolij fṛm biyñz v a s’pirịr nećr, bt I wz rećid, hlplis, n alon. Mni tîmz I cnsidrd Setn az ɖ fitr emblim v mî cndiśn, fr ofn, lîc him, ẃn I vyd ɖ blis v mî pṛtctrz, ɖ bitr gōl v envi rouz wɖn m.

“Anɖr srcmstans streñʈnd n cnfrmd ɖz fīlñz. Sn aftr mî arîvl in ɖ hovl I dscuvrd sm peprz in ɖ pocit v ɖ dres ẃć I hd tecn fṛm yr l’boṛtri. At frst I hd nglectd ɖm, bt nǎ ɖt I wz ebl t dsîfr ɖ caṛctrz in ẃć ɖe wr ritn, I bgan t studi ɖm wɖ dilijns. It wz yr jrnl v ɖ for munʈs ɖt prisidd mî crieśn. Y mînytli dscrîbd in ɖz peprz evri step y tc in ɖ progres v yr wrc; ɖs hisṭri wz mngld wɖ acǎnts v dmestic ocuṛnsiz. Y dǎtlis rec̣lect ɖz peprz. Hir ɖe r. Evrʈñ z rletd in ɖm ẃć berz refṛns t mî acrst oṛjin; ɖ hol dītel v ɖt siriz v dsgustñ srcmstansz ẃć pṛdyst it z set in vy; ɖ mînytist dscripśn v mî odịs n loɖsm prsn z gvn, in lanḡj ẃć pentd yr ǒn horrz n rendrd mîn indeḷbl. I sicnd az I réd. ‘Hetfl de ẃn I rsivd lîf!’ I xclemd in aġni. ‘Acrst crietr! Ẃ dd y form a monstr so hidịs ɖt īvn Y trnd fṛm m in dsgust? God, in piti, md man bytifl n alurñ, aftr hiz ǒn imij; bt mî form z a filʈi tîp v yrz, mor horid īvn fṛm ɖ vri rzmbḷns. Setn hd hiz cmpańnz, felodevlz, t admîr n incurij him, bt I am solitri n abhord.’

“Ɖz wr ɖ rflex́nz v mî aurz v dspondnsi n soḷtyd; bt ẃn I contmpletd ɖ vrćuz v ɖ cotijrz, ɖer emịbl n bnevlnt disṗziśnz, I pswedd mslf ɖt ẃn ɖe śd bcm aqentd wɖ mî adṃreśn v ɖer vrćuz ɖe wd cmpaṣ́net m n oṿlc mî prsnl dforṃti. Cd ɖe trn fṛm ɖer dor wn, hvr monstṛs, hu s’liṣtd ɖer cmpaśn n frendśp? I rzolvd, at līst, nt t dsper, bt in evri we t fit mslf fr an inṭvy wɖ ɖm ẃć wd dsîd mî fet. I pspond ɖs atmt fr sm munʈs longr, fr ɖ importns ataćt t its s’xes inspîrd m wɖ a dred lest I śd fel. Bsdz, I faund ɖt mî unḍstandñ impruvd so mć wɖ evri de’z xpirịns ɖt I wz unwilñ t cmns ɖs unḍtecñ untl a fy mor munʈs śd hv add t mî sgaṣti.

“Sevṛl ćenjz, in ɖ mntm, tc ples in ɖ cotij. Ɖ prezns v Safī dfyzd hapinis amñ its inhabitnts, n I olso faund ɖt a gretr dgri v plenti rênd ɖr. Fīlix n Aġʈa spent mor tîm in aḿzmnt n convseśn, n wr asistd in ɖer lebrz bî srvnts. Ɖe dd nt apir rić, bt ɖe wr cntntd n hapi; ɖer fīlñz wr srīn n pīsfl, ẃl mîn bcem evri de mor tymulćs. Incris v nolij onli dscuvrd t m mor clirli ẃt a rećid ǎtcast I wz. I ćeriśt hop, it z tru, bt it vaniśt ẃn I bheld mî prsn rflectd in wōtr or mî śado in ɖ mūnśîn, īvn az ɖt frel imij n ɖt inconstnt śêd.

“I indevrd t cruś ɖz firz n t forṭfî mslf fr ɖ trîl ẃć in a fy munʈs I rzolvd t unḍgo; n smtmz I alaud mî ʈts, unćect bî rīzn, t rambl in ɖ fīldz v Paṛdîs, n derd t fansi emịbl n luvli crīćrz simṗʈîzñ wɖ mî fīlñz n ćirñ mî glūm; ɖer anjelic cǎntinnsz briɖd smîlz v conṣleśn. Bt it wz ol a drīm; no Īv suɖd mî soroz nr śerd mî ʈts; I wz alon. I rmembrd Adm’z supḷceśn t hiz Crietr. Bt ẃr wz mîn? H hd abandnd m, n in ɖ bitrnis v mî hart I crst him.

“Ōtm pást ɖus. I sw, wɖ s’prîz n grīf, ɖ līvz dce n fōl, n nećr agn asym ɖ baṛn n blīc apiṛns it hd wòrn ẃn I frst bheld ɖ wŭdz n ɖ luvli mūn. Yt I dd nt hīd ɖ blīcnis v ɖ weɖr; I wz betr fitd bî mî conformeśn fr ɖ indyṛns v cold ɖn hīt. Bt mî ćīf dlîts wr ɖ sît v ɖ flǎrz, ɖ brdz, n ol ɖ ge apaṛl v sumr; ẃn ɖoz dzrtd m, I trnd wɖ mor atnśn twdz ɖ cotijrz. Ɖer hapinis wz nt dcrist bî ɖ absns v sumr. Ɖe luvd n simṗʈîzd wɖ wn anɖr; n ɖer jôz, dpndñ on ć uɖr, wr nt inṭruptd bî ɖ caźltiz ɖt tc ples arnd ɖm. Ɖ mor I sw v ɖm, ɖ gretr bcem mî dzîr t clem ɖer pṛtx́n n cîndnis; mî hart yrnd t b noun n luvd bî ɖz emịbl crīćrz; t si ɖer swīt lcs d’rectd twdz m wɖ afx́n wz ɖ utmost limit v mî ambiśn. I derd nt ʈnc ɖt ɖe wd trn ɖm fṛm m wɖ dsden n horr. Ɖ pur ɖt stopt at ɖer dor wr nvr drivn awe. I asct, it z tru, fr gretr treźrz ɖn a litl fūd or rest: I rqîrd cîndnis n simṗʈi; bt I dd nt b’liv mslf utrli unwrɖi v it.

“Ɖ wintr advanst, n an intîr reṿluśn v ɖ sīznz hd tecn ples sins I awouc intu lîf. Mî atnśn at ɖs tîm wz soļi d’rectd twdz mî plan v intṛdysñ mslf intu ɖ cotij v mî pṛtctrz. I rvolvd mni projects, bt ɖt on ẃć I fîṇli fixt wz t entr ɖ dwelñ ẃn ɖ blînd old man śd b alon. I hd sgaṣti inuf t dscuvr ɖt ɖ uņaćṛl hidịsnis v mî prsn wz ɖ ćīf objict v horr wɖ ɖoz hu hd formrli bheld m. Mî vôs, olɖo harś, hd nʈñ teṛbl in it; I ʈt, ɖrfr, ɖt f in ɖ absns v hiz ćildṛn I cd gen ɖ gd wl n mīdieśn v ɖ old D’Lesi, I mt bî hiz mīnz b toḷretd bî mî yungr pṛtctrz.

“Wn de, ẃn ɖ sún śon on ɖ red līvz ɖt strùd ɖ grǎnd n dfyzd ćirflnis, olɖo it dnaid wormʈ, Safī, Aġʈa, n Fīlix dpartd on a loñ cuntriwōc, n ɖ old man, at hiz ǒn dzîr, wz left alon in ɖ cotij. Ẃn hiz ćildṛn hd dpartd, h tc p hiz gitar n pleid sevṛl mōrnfl bt swīt erz, mor swīt n mōrnfl ɖn I hd evr hŕd him ple bfr. At frst hiz cǎntinns wz iluṃnetd wɖ pleźr, bt az h cntinyd, ʈtflnis n sadnis s’xidd; at leñʈ, leyñ asd ɖ instṛmnt, h sat abzorbd in rflex́n.

“Mî hart bìt qc; ɖs wz ɖ aur n momnt v trîl, ẃć wd dsîd mî hops or riylîz mî firz. Ɖ srvnts wr gn t a neḅrñ fer. Ol wz sîḷnt in n arnd ɖ cotij; it wz an xḷnt oṗtyṇti; yt, ẃn I pṛsidd t x’kt mî plan, mî limz feld m n I sanc t ɖ grǎnd. Agn I rouz, n xrtñ ol ɖ frmnis v ẃć I wz mastr, rmuvd ɖ plancs ẃć I hd plest bfr mî hovl t cnsil mî rtrit. Ɖ freś er rvîvd m, n wɖ rnyd dtrṃneśn I aproćt ɖ dor v ɖer cotij.

“I noct. ‘Hu z ɖr?’ sd ɖ old man. ‘Cm in.’

“I entrd. ‘Pardn ɖs intruźn,’ sd I; ‘I am a travlr in wont v a litl rest; y wd gretli oblîj m f y wd alǎ m t rmen a fy minits bfr ɖ fîr.’

“‘Entr,’ sd D’Lesi, ‘n I wl trî in ẃt manr I cn t rliv yr wonts; bt, unforćṇtli, mî ćildṛn r fṛm hom, n az I am blînd, I am afred I śl fînd it dificlt t pṛkr fūd fr y.’

“‘D nt trubl yrslf, mî cnd host; I hv fūd; it z wormʈ n rest onli ɖt I nīd.’

“I sat dǎn, n a sîḷns insyd. I ń ɖt evri minit wz preśs t m, yt I rmend ireẓlut in ẃt manr t cmns ɖ inṭvy, ẃn ɖ old man adrest m. ‘Bî yr lanḡj, strenjr, I s’poz y r mî cuntrimn; r y Frenć?’

“‘No; bt I wz edycetd bî a Frenć faṃli n unḍstand ɖt lanḡj onli. I am nǎ gwñ t clem ɖ pṛtx́n v sm frendz, hūm I snsirli luv, n v huz fevr I hv sm hops.’

“‘R ɖe Jrmnz?’

“‘No, ɖe r Frenć. Bt let s ćenj ɖ subjict. I am an unforćṇt n dzrtd crīćr, I lc arnd n I hv no rleśn or frend upn rʈ. Ɖz emịbl ppl t hūm I g hv nvr sìn m n nǒ litl v m. I am fl v firz, fr f I fel ɖr, I am an ǎtcast in ɖ wrld fr evr.’

“‘D nt dsper. T b frendlis z indd t b unforćṇt, bt ɖ hārts v men, ẃn unpreɉdist bî eni obvịs slf-inṭrest, r fl v bruɖrli luv n ćaṛti. Rlî, ɖrfr, on yr hops; n f ɖz frendz r gd n emịbl, d nt dsper.’

“‘Ɖe r cînd—ɖe r ɖ most xḷnt crīćrz in ɖ wrld; bt, unforćṇtli, ɖe r preɉdist agnst m. I hv gd disṗziśnz; mî lîf hz bn hiɖrtu harmlis n in sm dgri beṇfiśl; bt a fetl preɉdis clǎdz ɖer îz, n ẃr ɖe òt t si a fīlñ n cînd frend, ɖe bhold onli a dtstbl monstr.’

“‘Ɖt z indd unforćṇt; bt f y r riyli blemlis, canot y undisiv ɖm?’

“‘I am abt t unḍtec ɖt tasc; n it z on ɖt acǎnt ɖt I fīl so mni oṿẃlmñ terrz. I tndrli luv ɖz frendz; I hv, uņoun t ɖm, bn fr mni munʈs in ɖ habits v dêli cîndnis twdz ɖm; bt ɖe b’liv ɖt I wś t injr ɖm, n it z ɖt preɉdis ẃć I wś t oṿcm.’

“‘Ẃr d ɖz frendz rzîd?’

“‘Nir ɖs spot.’

“Ɖ old man pōzd n ɖen cntinyd, ‘F y wl unrizrvidli cnfîd t m ɖ ptiklrz v yr têl, I phps me b v ys in undisivñ ɖm. I am blînd n canot juj v yr cǎntinns, bt ɖr z smʈñ in yr wrdz ẃć pswedz m ɖt y r snsir. I am pur n an xîl, bt it wl aford m tru pleźr t b in eni we srvisbl t a hymn crīćr.’

“‘Xḷnt man! I ʈanc y n axpt yr jenṛs ofr. Y rêz m fṛm ɖ dust bî ɖs cîndnis; n I trust ɖt, bî yr ed, I śl nt b drivn fṛm ɖ ssayti n simṗʈi v yr felocrīćrz.’

“‘Hevn fbid! Īvn f y wr riyli criminl, fr ɖt cn onli drîv y t desṗreśn, n nt instget y t vrću. I olso am unforćṇt; I n mî faṃli hv bn cndemd, olɖo iṇsnt; juj, ɖrfr, f I d nt fīl fr yr msfortynz.’

“‘Hǎ cn I ʈanc y, mî bst n onli beṇfactr? Fṛm yr lips frst hv I hŕd ɖ vôs v cîndnis d’rectd twdz m; I śl b fr evr gretfl; n yr preznt hymaṇti aśurz m v s’xes wɖ ɖoz frendz hūm I am on ɖ pônt v mītñ.’

“‘Me I nǒ ɖ nemz n rezidns v ɖoz frendz?’

“I pōzd. Ɖs, I ʈt, wz ɖ momnt v dsiźn, ẃć wz t rob m v or bsto hapinis on m fr evr. I strugld venli fr frmnis sfiśnt t ansr him, bt ɖ ef̣t dstroid ol mî rmenñ streñʈ; I sanc on ɖ ćer n sobd alǎd. At ɖt momnt I hŕd ɖ steps v mî yungr pṛtctrz. I hd nt a momnt t lūz, bt sizñ ɖ hand v ɖ old man, I craid, ‘Nǎ z ɖ tîm! Sev n pṛtct m! Y n yr faṃli r ɖ frendz hūm I sīc. D nt y dzrt m in ɖ aur v trîl!’

“‘Gret God!’ xclemd ɖ old man. ‘Hu r y?’

“At ɖt instnt ɖ cotij dor wz opnd, n Fīlix, Safī, n Aġʈa entrd. Hu cn dscrîb ɖer horr n consṭneśn on bholdñ m? Aġʈa fentd, n Safī, unebl t atnd t hr frend, ruśt ǎt v ɖ cotij. Fīlix dartd fwd, n wɖ sūṗnaćṛl fors tòr m fṛm hiz faɖr, t huz niz I cluñ; in a transport v fyri, h daśt m t ɖ grǎnd n struc m vayḷntli wɖ a stic. I cd hv torn him lim fṛm lim, az ɖ layn rendz ɖ anṭlop. Bt mî hart sanc wɖn m az wɖ bitr sicnis, n I rfrend. I sw him on ɖ pônt v rpitñ hiz blo, ẃn, oṿcm bî pen n anḡś, I qitd ɖ cotij, n in ɖ jenṛl tymult iscept unṗsivd t mî hovl.”


“Crst, crst crietr! Ẃ dd I liv? Ẃ, in ɖt instnt, dd I nt xtnḡś ɖ sparc v xistns ẃć y hd so wontnli bstoud? I nǒ nt; dsper hd nt yt tecn pześn v m; mî fīlñz wr ɖoz v rej n rvnj. I cd wɖ pleźr hv dstroid ɖ cotij n its inhabitnts n hv glutd mslf wɖ ɖer śrīcz n miẓri.

“Ẃn nît cem I qitd mî rtrit n wondrd in ɖ wŭd; n nǎ, no longr rstrend bî ɖ fir v dscuṿri, I gev vnt t mî anḡś in firfl hǎlñz. I wz lîc a wîld bīst ɖt hd brocn ɖ tôlz, dstroyñ ɖ objicts ɖt obstructd m n renjñ ʈru ɖ wŭd wɖ a staglîc swiftnis. Ǒ! Ẃt a mizṛbl nît I pást! Ɖ cold starz śon in moc̣ri, n ɖ bér triz wevd ɖer branćz abv m; nǎ n ɖen ɖ swīt vôs v a brd brst fʈ amdst ɖ yṇvrsl stilnis. Ol, sev I, wr at rest or in injômnt; I, lîc ɖ arć-fīnd, bòr a hel wɖn m, n fîndñ mslf unsimṗʈîzd wɖ, wśt t ter p ɖ triz, spred haṿc n dstrux́n arnd m, n ɖen t hv sat dǎn n injoid ɖ ruin.

“Bt ɖs wz a lux̣́ri v snseśn ɖt cd nt indyr; I bcem ftīgd wɖ xes v boḍli xrśn n sanc on ɖ damp gras in ɖ sic imṗtns v dsper. Ɖr wz nn amñ ɖ miriadz v men ɖt xistd hu wd piti or asist m; n śd I fīl cîndnis twdz mî eṇmiz? No; fṛm ɖt momnt I dclerd eṿlastñ wor agnst ɖ spīśīz, n mor ɖn ol, agnst him hu hd formd m n snt m fʈ t ɖs inṣportbl miẓri.

“Ɖ sún rouz; I hŕd ɖ vôsz v men n ń ɖt it wz imposbl t rtrn t mî rtrit jrñ ɖt de. Acordñli I hid mslf in sm ʈic unḍwŭd, dtrṃnñ t dvot ɖ insywñ aurz t rflex́n on mî sićueśn.

“Ɖ pleznt súnśîn n ɖ pyr er v de rstord m t sm dgri v tranqiḷti; n ẃn I cnsidrd ẃt hd pást at ɖ cotij, I cd nt hlp b’livñ ɖt I hd bn tù hesti in mî cncluźnz. I hd srtnli actd imprudntli. It wz apaṛnt ɖt mî convseśn hd inṭrestd ɖ faɖr in mî bhaf, n I wz a fūl in hvñ xpozd mî prsn t ɖ horr v hiz ćildṛn. I òt t hv fmiłrîzd ɖ old D’Lesi t m, n bî dgriz t hv dscuvrd mslf t ɖ rest v hiz faṃli, ẃn ɖe śd hv bn priperd fr mî aproć. Bt I dd nt b’liv mî errz t b iritriṿbl, n aftr mć cnsiḍreśn I rzolvd t rtrn t ɖ cotij, sīc ɖ old man, n bî mî repriznteśnz win him t mî parti.

“Ɖz ʈts cāmd m, n in ɖ afṭnun I sanc intu a pṛfǎnd slīp; bt ɖ fīvr v mî blud dd nt alǎ m t b viẓtd bî pīsfl drīmz. Ɖ hoṛbl sīn v ɖ prisidñ de wz fr evr actñ bfr mî îz; ɖ fīmelz wr flayñ n ɖ inrejd Fīlix tẹrñ m fṛm hiz faɖr’z fīt. I awouc xōstd, n fîndñ ɖt it wz olrdi nît, I crept fʈ fṛm mî hîdñples, n wnt in srć v fūd.

“Ẃn mî hungr wz apizd, I d’rectd mî steps twdz ɖ wel-noun paʈ ɖt cnductd t ɖ cotij. Ol ɖr wz at pīs. I crept intu mî hovl n rmend in sîḷnt xpcteśn v ɖ acustmd aur ẃn ɖ faṃli arouz. Ɖt aur pást, ɖ sún mǎntd hî in ɖ hevnz, bt ɖ cotijrz dd nt apir. I trembld vayḷntli, aprihndñ sm dredfl msfortyn. Ɖ insd v ɖ cotij wz darc, n I hŕd no mośn; I canot dscrîb ɖ aġni v ɖs sspns.

“Prezntli tū cuntriṃn pást bî, bt pōzñ nir ɖ cotij, ɖe entrd intu convseśn, yzñ vayḷnt jstikleśnz; bt I dd nt unḍstand ẃt ɖe sd, az ɖe spouc ɖ lanḡj v ɖ cuntri, ẃć difrd fṛm ɖt v mî pṛtctrz. Sn aftr, hvr, Fīlix aproćt wɖ anɖr man; I wz s’prîzd, az I ń ɖt h hd nt qitd ɖ cotij ɖt mornñ, n wêtd añśsli t dscuvr fṛm hiz discors ɖ mīnñ v ɖz unyźl apiṛnsz.

“‘D y cnsidr,’ sd hiz cmpańn t him, ‘ɖt y wl b oblîjd t pe ʈri munʈs’ rent n t lūz ɖ prodys v yr gardn? I d nt wś t tec eni unfer advantij, n I beg ɖrfr ɖt y wl tec sm dez t cnsidr v yr dtrṃneśn.’

“‘It z utrli yslis,’ rplaid Fīlix; ‘w cn nvr agn inhabit yr cotij. Ɖ lîf v mî faɖr z in ɖ gretist denjr, owñ t ɖ dredfl srcmstans ɖt I hv rletd. Mî wîf n mî sistr wl nvr rcuvr fṛm ɖer horr. I intrit y nt t rīzn wɖ m eni mor. Tec pześn v yr teṇmnt n let m flî fṛm ɖs ples.’

“Fīlix trembld vayḷntli az h sd ɖs. H n hiz cmpańn entrd ɖ cotij, in ẃć ɖe rmend fr a fy minits, n ɖen dpartd. I nvr sw eni v ɖ faṃli v D’Lesi mor.

“I cntinyd fr ɖ rmendr v ɖ de in mî hovl in a stet v utr n stypid dsper. Mî pṛtctrz hd dpartd n hd brocn ɖ onli linc ɖt hld m t ɖ wrld. Fr ɖ frst tîm ɖ fīlñz v rvnj n hetrid fild mî bŭzm, n I dd nt strîv t cntrol ɖm, bt alawñ mslf t b bòrn awe bî ɖ strīm, I bnt mî mînd twdz inɉri n deʈ. Ẃn I ʈt v mî frendz, v ɖ mîld vôs v D’Lesi, ɖ jntl îz v Aġʈa, n ɖ xqizit byti v ɖ Arebịn, ɖz ʈts vaniśt n a guś v tirz smẃt suɖd m. Bt agn ẃn I rflectd ɖt ɖe hd sprnd n dzrtd m, angr rtrnd, a rej v angr, n unebl t injr enʈñ hymn, I trnd mî fyri twdz inaniṃt objicts. Az nît advanst I plest a vrayti v cmbustiblz arnd ɖ cotij, n aftr hvñ dstroid evri vstij v cultveśn in ɖ gardn, I wêtd wɖ forst impeśns untl ɖ mūn hd sunc t cmns mî oṗreśnz.

“Az ɖ nît advanst, a firs wind arouz fṛm ɖ wŭdz n qcli dsprst ɖ clǎdz ɖt hd lôtrd in ɖ hevnz; ɖ blast tòr alñ lîc a mîti aṿlanć n pṛdyst a cnd v insaṇti in mî spirits ɖt brst ol bǎndz v rīzn n rflex́n. I lîtd ɖ drî branć v a tri n danst wɖ fyri arnd ɖ dvotd cotij, mî îz stl fixt on ɖ wstn hrîzn, ɖ éj v ẃć ɖ mūn nirli tućt. A part v its orb wz at leñʈ hid, n I wevd mî brand; it sanc, n wɖ a lǎd scrīm I fîrd ɖ strw, n hīʈ, n bśz, ẃć I hd c’lectd. Ɖ wind fand ɖ fîr, n ɖ cotij wz qcli inveḷpt bî ɖ flemz, ẃć cluñ t it n lict it wɖ ɖer forct n dstroyñ tuñz.

“Az sn az I wz cnvinst ɖt no asistns cd sev eni part v ɖ habteśn, I qitd ɖ sīn n sòt fr refyj in ɖ wŭdz.

“N nǎ, wɖ ɖ wrld bfr m, ẃiɖr śd I bnd mî steps? I rzolvd t flî far fṛm ɖ sīn v mî msfortynz; bt t m, hetd n dspîzd, evri cuntri mst b īqli hoṛbl. At leñʈ ɖ ʈt v y crost mî mînd. I lrnt fṛm yr peprz ɖt y wr mî faɖr, mî crietr; n t hūm cd I aplî wɖ mor fitnis ɖn t him hu hd gvn m lîf? Amñ ɖ lésnz ɖt Fīlix hd bstoud upn Safī, jiogṛfi hd nt bn omitd; I hd lrnt fṛm ɖz ɖ reḷtiv sićueśnz v ɖ difṛnt cuntriz v ɖ rʈ. Y hd mnśnd Jnīva az ɖ nem v yr netiv tǎn, n twdz ɖs ples I rzolvd t pṛsid.

“Bt hǎ wz I t d’rect mslf? I ń ɖt I mst travl in a sǎʈ-wsṭli d’rex́n t rīć mî desṭneśn, bt ɖ sún wz mî onli gîd. I dd nt nǒ ɖ nemz v ɖ tǎnz ɖt I wz t pas ʈru, nr cd I asc inf̣meśn fṛm a sngl hymn biyñ; bt I dd nt dsper. Fṛm y onli cd I hop fr sucr, olɖo twdz y I flt no sntimnt bt ɖt v hetrid. Unfīlñ, hartlis crietr! Y hd indaud m wɖ pspśnz n paśnz n ɖen cast m abrōd an objict fr ɖ scorn n horr v man-cnd. Bt on y onli hd I eni clem fr piti n rdres, n fṛm y I dtrmind t sīc ɖt justis ẃć I venli atmtd t gen fṛm eni uɖr biyñ ɖt wòr ɖ hymn form.

“Mî travlz wr loñ n ɖ suf̣rñz I indyrd intns. It wz lêt in ōtm ẃn I qitd ɖ district ẃr I hd so loñ rzîdd. I travld onli at nît, firfl v incǎnṭrñ ɖ vizij v a hymn biyñ. Nećr dceid arnd m, n ɖ sún bcem hītlis; ren n sno pord arnd m; mîti rivrz wr frozn; ɖ srfis v ɖ rʈ wz hard n ćil, n bér, n I faund no śltr. Ǒ, rʈ! Hǎ ofn dd I impṛcet crsz on ɖ cōz v mî biyñ! Ɖ mîldnis v mî nećr hd fled, n ol wɖn m wz trnd t gōl n bitrnis. Ɖ nirr I aproćt t yr habteśn, ɖ mor dīpli dd I fīl ɖ spirit v rvnj incindld in mî hart. Sno fél, n ɖ wōtrz wr hardnd, bt I restd nt. A fy insidnts nǎ n ɖen d’rectd m, n I pzest a map v ɖ cuntri; bt I ofn wondrd wîd fṛm mî paʈ. Ɖ aġni v mî fīlñz alaud m no respît; no insidnt ocŕd fṛm ẃć mî rej n miẓri cd nt xtract its fūd; bt a srcmstans ɖt hapnd ẃn I arîvd on ɖ confînz v Switṣḷnd, ẃn ɖ sún hd rcuvrd its wormʈ n ɖ rʈ agn bgan t lc grīn, cnfrmd in an ispeśl manr ɖ bitrnis n horr v mî fīlñz.

“I jenṛli restd jrñ ɖ de n travld onli ẃn I wz s’krd bî nît fṛm ɖ vy v man. Wn mornñ, hvr, fîndñ ɖt mî paʈ lei ʈru a dīp wŭd, I vnćrd t cntiny mî jrni aftr ɖ sún hd rizn; ɖ de, ẃć wz wn v ɖ frst v sprñ, ćird īvn m bî ɖ luvlinis v its súnśîn n ɖ bāminis v ɖ er. I flt imośnz v jntlnis n pleźr, ɖt hd loñ apird ded, rvîv wɖn m. Haf s’prîzd bî ɖ novlti v ɖz snseśnz, I alaud mslf t b bòrn awe bî ɖm, n fgetñ mî soḷtyd n dforṃti, derd t b hapi. Soft tirz agn bdỳd mî ćīcs, n I īvn rezd mî hymid îz wɖ ʈancflnis twdz ɖ blest sún, ẃć bstoud sć jô upn m.

“I cntinyd t wînd amñ ɖ paɖz v ɖ wŭd, untl I cem t its bǎnḍri, ẃć wz scrtd bî a dīp n rapid rivr, intu ẃć mni v ɖ triz bnt ɖer branćz, nǎ budñ wɖ ɖ freś sprñ. Hir I pōzd, nt xacli nwñ ẃt paʈ t psy, ẃn I hŕd ɖ sǎnd v vôsz, ɖt indyst m t cnsil mslf undr ɖ śêd v a sîpris. I wz scersli hid ẃn a yuñ grl cem runñ twdz ɖ spot ẃr I wz cnsild, lafñ, az f ś ran fṛm smwn in sport. Ś cntinyd hr cors alñ ɖ prisipiṭs sîdz v ɖ rivr, ẃn sudnli hr ft slipt, n ś fél intu ɖ rapid strīm. I ruśt fṛm mî hîdñples n wɖ xtrim lebr, fṛm ɖ fors v ɖ cuṛnt, sevd hr n dragd hr t śor. Ś wz snslis, n I indevrd bî evri mīnz in mî pǎr t rstor aṇmeśn, ẃn I wz sudnli inṭruptd bî ɖ aproć v a rustic, hu wz probbli ɖ prsn fṛm hūm ś hd plêf̣li fled. On siyñ m, h dartd twdz m, n tẹrñ ɖ grl fṛm mî armz, hesnd twdz ɖ dīpr parts v ɖ wŭd. I foloud spīḍli, I hardli ń ẃ; bt ẃn ɖ man sw m drw nir, h emd a gun, ẃć h carid, at mî bodi n fîrd. I sanc t ɖ grǎnd, n mî injrr, wɖ incrist swiftnis, iscept intu ɖ wŭd.

“Ɖs wz ɖen ɖ rword v mî bnevḷns! I hd sevd a hymn biyñ fṛm dstrux́n, n az a recmpens I nǎ rîɖd undr ɖ mizṛbl pen v a wūnd ẃć śatrd ɖ fleś n bon. Ɖ fīlñz v cîndnis n jntlnis ẃć I hd enttend bt a fy momnts bfr gev ples t heliś rej n náśñ v tīʈ. Inflemd bî pen, I vaud itrnl hetrid n vnjns t ol man-cnd. Bt ɖ aġni v mî wūnd oṿcem m; mî pulsz pōzd, n I fentd.

“Fr sm wīcs I léd a mizṛbl lîf in ɖ wŭdz, indeṿrñ t kr ɖ wūnd ẃć I hd rsivd. Ɖ bōl hd entrd mî śoldr, n I ń nt ẃɖr it hd rmend ɖr or pást ʈru; at eni ret I hd no mīnz v xtractñ it. Mî suf̣rñz wr ōgmntd olso bî ɖ opresiv sns v ɖ injustis n ingrattyd v ɖer inflix́n. Mî dêli vǎz rouz fr rvnj—a dīp n dedli rvnj, sć az wd alon compnset fr ɖ ǎtrejz n anḡś I hd indyrd.

“Aftr sm wīcs mî wūnd hīld, n I cntinyd mî jrni. Ɖ lebrz I indyrd wr no longr t b alivietd bî ɖ brît sún or jntl brizz v sprñ; ol jô wz bt a moc̣ri ẃć insultd mî dezḷt stet n md m fīl mor penf̣li ɖt I wz nt md fr ɖ injômnt v pleźr.

“Bt mî tôlz nǎ drù nir a clos, n in tū munʈs fṛm ɖs tîm I rīćt ɖ invîṛnz v Jnīva.

“It wz īvnñ ẃn I arîvd, n I rtîrd t a hîdñples amñ ɖ fīldz ɖt srǎnd it t meḍtet in ẃt manr I śd aplî t y. I wz oprest bî ftīg n hungr n far tù unhapi t injô ɖ jntl brizz v īvnñ or ɖ prospect v ɖ sún setñ bhnd ɖ stypnds mǎntnz v Jura.

“At ɖs tîm a slît slīp rlivd m fṛm ɖ pen v rflex́n, ẃć wz dstrbd bî ɖ aproć v a bytifl ćîld, hu cem runñ intu ɖ rses I hd ćozn, wɖ ol ɖ sportivnis v inf̣nsi. Sudnli, az I gezd on him, an îdīa sizd m ɖt ɖs litl crīćr wz unpreɉdist n hd livd tù śort a tîm t hv imbîbd a horr v dforṃti. F, ɖrfr, I cd sīz him n edycet him az mî cmpańn n frend, I śd nt b so dezḷt in ɖs ppld rʈ.

“Rjd bî ɖs impuls, I sizd on ɖ bô az h pást n drù him twdz m. Az sn az h bheld mî form, h plest hiz handz bfr hiz îz n utrd a śril scrīm; I drù hiz hand forṣbli fṛm hiz fes n sd, ‘Ćîld, ẃt z ɖ mīnñ v ɖs? I d nt intnd t hrt y; lisn t m.’

“H strugld vayḷntli. ‘Let m g,’ h craid; ‘monstr! Ugli reć! Y wś t īt m n ter m t pìsz. Y r an ogr. Let m g, or I wl tel mî ppā.’

“‘Bô, y wl nvr si yr faɖr agn; y mst cm wɖ m.’

“‘Hidịs monstr! Let m g. Mî ppā z a sindic—h z M. Francnstîn—h wl puniś y. Y der nt cīp m.’

“‘Francnstîn! y b’loñ ɖen t mî eṇmi—t him twdz hūm I hv sworn itrnl rvnj; y śl b mî frst victim.’

“Ɖ ćîld stl strugld n lodd m wɖ epiʈets ẃć carid dsper t mî hart; I graspt hiz ʈrot t sîḷns him, n in a momnt h lei ded at mî fīt.

“I gezd on mî victim, n mî hart sweld wɖ xlteśn n heliś trîumf; clapñ mî handz, I xclemd, ‘I tù cn criet deẓleśn; mî eṇmi z nt invulnṛbl; ɖs deʈ wl cari dsper t him, n a ʈǎznd uɖr miẓriz śl torment n dstrô him.’

“Az I fixt mî îz on ɖ ćîld, I sw smʈñ gliṭrñ on hiz brest. I tc it; it wz a portrit v a most luvli wmn. In spît v mî mligṇti, it sofnd n atractd m. Fr a fy momnts I gezd wɖ dlît on hr darc îz, frinjd bî dīp laśz, n hr luvli lips; bt prezntli mî rej rtrnd; I rmembrd ɖt I wz fr evr dprîvd v ɖ dlîts ɖt sć bytifl crīćrz cd bsto n ɖt ś huz rzmbḷns I contmpletd wd, in rgardñ m, hv ćenjd ɖt er v dvîn bnigṇti t wn xpresiv v dsgust n afrît.

“Cn y wundr ɖt sć ʈts trnsportd m wɖ rej? I onli wundr ɖt at ɖt momnt, instd v vntñ mî snseśnz in xcḷmeśnz n aġni, I dd nt ruś amñ man-cnd n periś in ɖ atmt t dstrô ɖm.

“Ẃl I wz oṿcm bî ɖz fīlñz, I left ɖ spot ẃr I hd cmitd ɖ mrdr, n sīcñ a mor s’cludd hîdñples, I entrd a barn ẃć hd apird t m t b emti. A wmn wz slīpñ on sm strw; ś wz yuñ, nt indd so bytifl az hr huz portrit I hld, bt v an agriybl aspect n blūmñ in ɖ luvlinis v yʈ n hlʈ. Hir, I ʈt, z wn v ɖoz huz jô-impartñ smîlz r bstoud on ol bt m. N ɖen I bnt ovr hr n ẃisprd, ‘Awec, fẹrist, ɖî luvr z nir—h hu wd gv hiz lîf bt t obten wn lc v afx́n fṛm ɖîn îz; mî b’luvid, awec!’

“Ɖ slīpr strd; a ʈril v terr ran ʈru m. Śd ś indd awec, n si m, n crs m, n dnǎns ɖ mrdrr? Ɖus wd ś aśuridli act f hr darcnd îz opnd n ś bheld m. Ɖ ʈt wz madnis; it strd ɖ fīnd wɖn m—nt I, bt ś, śl sufr; ɖ mrdr I hv cmitd bcz I am fr evr robd v ol ɖt ś cd gv m, ś śl aton. Ɖ crîm hd its sors in hr; b hrz ɖ puniśmnt! Ʈancs t ɖ lésnz v Fīlix n ɖ sanḡnri lwz v man, I hd lrnt nǎ t wrc misćif. I bnt ovr hr n plest ɖ portrit s’krli in wn v ɖ foldz v hr dres. Ś muvd agn, n I fled.

“Fr sm dez I hōntd ɖ spot ẃr ɖz sīnz hd tecn ples, smtmz wśñ t si y, smtmz rzolvd t qit ɖ wrld n its miẓriz fr evr. At leñʈ I wondrd twdz ɖz mǎntnz, n hv renjd ʈru ɖer imns rsesz, cnsymd bî a brnñ paśn ẃć y alon cn graṭfî. W me nt part untl y hv promist t cmplî wɖ mî reqziśn. I am alon n mizṛbl; man wl nt asośiet wɖ m; bt wn az dformd n hoṛbl az mslf wd nt dnî hrslf t m. Mî cmpańn mst b v ɖ sem spīśīz n hv ɖ sem dīfects. Ɖs biyñ y mst criet.”


CONTENTSPEJ