Tag Archives: Boris Johnson

Frank Poems: IF

"Girl Tending Geese," Benjamin Haughton, 1865-1924, Portsmouth Museums

If I had faith
That a poem of mine
At the right time
And in the right place
Could spread love and peace
Make foie gras history for geese
Take from the rich and give to the poor
Fix your broken back door
Make civilisation more civil
Stop talkers talking drivel
Resurrect the dead
Mend the garden shed
Save the whales
Get me a cottage in the Yorkshire Dales
Spread faith in hope and charity
Give transparency more clarity
Distinguish right from wrong
Liberate Hong Kong
Conjure something out of nothing
Help huffins and puffins
Enable one to keep one’s head
Multiply a loaf of bread
Stop superpowers messing up the Moon
Make common sense more common soon
Empower the people
Stiffen the feeble
Vax the virus
Instantly inspire us
Reinforce the Celtic fringe
Celebrate those little things
Let children have a bit of fun
Deliver beneficence by the ton
Untwist me and unbitter
Unlout louts who drop their litter
Topple tyrants
Follow the science
Rock that rhythm
Globalise Goodism
Make thunder and lightning

a little less frightening

Take away the hurt
Turn pudding into just dessert
Put an end to greed
Make Warbreck Reserves win the football league
Reflower and reforest
Banish Boris
Help the Martians get by on Mars
Florianopolise that empty vase
Make people weary

of conspiracy theory

Let heffalumps live happily
Unroyal the royal family

and see orf aristocracy

Democratise democracy
Earn me some money
Make fundamentalists funny
Bring back comma butterflies
Help distinguish truth from lies
Make friends more amiable

and enemies less inimical

Stop me going on a rant
Add a stress to eli fant
Answer your prayers
Nix nightmares
Make perfect perfumes out of pong
Turn a song and dance into dance and song
Crack the climate crisis
Eliminate Isis
Heal the sick and make pain cease
Give cabbages increase
Exit Brexit
Take the biscuit
Spice up vegan saveloy
Make a man of you, my boy
Summon the sublime
Make trains and buses run on time
Stop the war
Work out what on earth life’s for
Bewitch and beguile
Or at least make you smile,
I might write more.

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925

THE BREXIT CATASTROPHE

Wikipedia: The Tay Bridge disaster

(In the style of ‘The Tay Bridge Disaster’ by William McGonagall)

Gather round, people, and hear me tell
Of the Brexit catastrophe, upon which I shall dwell.
’Tis a tale of political folly and woe
In which shameful charlatans played ridiculous roles.

First there came UKIP, all anti-EU cries
And divisive rhetoric, sowing discord and lies.
Nigel Farage, of the un-continent mouth,
Trumpeted intolerance, north, east, west and south.

Then debonaire Dave, that pathetic PM,
With a gamble so reckless it was a cardinal sin:
He promised a referendum, assuming he’d win,
And all just to pacify his loony right wing.

Prime Minister May, who was once a Remainer,
Was now all for Brexit but wasn’t a game-changer:
The nutters couldn’t stand her, they kept saying No,
So Turncoat Theresa had to up sticks and go.

Boris Johnson, the charlatan with toff-tousled hair,
Campaigned for Leave just to further his career.
He painted false visions of sunlit uplands,
Visions that post hoc went straight down the pan.

Liz Truss’s trade deals were touted like gold
But the reality was, it was dross we’d been sold.
She and her Chancellor: an economic nightmare,
As Kamikaze’s budget wreaked instant despair.

Sunak the Smarmy promised to make it alright,
While British rivers and beaches were awash with Brexshite.
The reality’s grim, with job losses and strife.
The Brexit balloons? All burst by Brexknife.

Oh, the Brexit catastrophe is a terrible tale
About pompous politicos letting our country derail.
Their malevolent influence, their incompetence and greed
Have left us in a sorry state (as of May 28, 2023).

If William McGonagall, that poet of old,
Were writing this saga, so much more could be said
But no poet alive could better that bard.
Goodnight, Little England. I’m going to bed.

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925

Frank Poems: A VILLAIN KNELL

The European Movement

Do not go gentle into Brexit shite,
just look at how it’s knackered the UK.
Rage, rage against the lying of the Right.

 

Leave voters fell for snake-oil salesmen’s hype,
choosing to ignore the voice of sanity.
Do not go gentle into Brexit shite.

 

But Murdoch, Johnson, Farage and their like

spread hatred, fear, deceit and disarray.

Rage, rage against the lying of the Right.

 

Nor did Remainers go without a fight –
campaigning, marching, exhorting every day,
Do not go gentle into Brexit shite.

 

And old Remainers, though with fading sight,
can still see clearly we were right to say,
Rage, rage against the lying of the Right.

 

A pox upon the villains who caused our plight.
Let British bells toll their demise, let’s pray.
Do not go gentle into Brexit shite –
rage, rage against the lying of the Right.

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925

In Ñspel: The Guardian view on Matt Hancock at the Covid inquiry: a loss of dignity

Matt Hancock giving evidence at the Covid inquiry on 30 November. ‘His infamous claim to be putting a ring around care homes will haunt his reputation forever.’ Photograph: UK Covid-19 inquiry/PA
Mát Hancoc gvñ evidns at ɖ Covid inqîri on 30 Nvmbr. ‘Hiz infṃs clem t b ptñ a rñ arnd cerhomz wl hōnt hiz repyteśn fr evr.’ Foṭgraf: YC Covid-19 inqîri/PA

Ɖ Gardịn vy on Mát Hancoc at ɖ Covid inqîri: a los v digṇti

Transcription of a Gardian editorial of 30 November 2023

F ɖ formr hlʈsecṛtri wonts t avôd biyñ ɖ fōlgai fr Britn’z pandemic fełrz, h śd stop ɖ constnt oṿclemñ

Ʈrzde, 30 Nvmbr 2023

Fy public figrz hv imrjd fṛm ɖ Covid-19 inqîri’z ōtmhírñz wɖ mor damij t ɖer repyteśnz ɖn Mát Hancoc. Admitidli, Mr Hancoc’s public standñ wz nt hî at ɖ ǎtset. Bt h hz bn wn v ɖ prîm targits in ɖ Ẃîthōl blemgem ɖt hz pleid ǎt in ɖ inqîri sins Octobr. Onli Boris Jonsn, hu wl gv evidns himslf nxt wīc, hz tecn wrs hits t hiz public standñ, az poḷtiśnz, advîzrz n sivl srvnts jóci t xplen hǎ Britn pruvd so unpriperd fr a pandemic ɖt hz cild mor ɖn 230,000 YC rezidnts sins ɖ start v 2020.

Ʈrzde wz Mr Hancoc’s ćans t strîc bac. H srtnli md a g v it. Hiz “ńclir levlz” v slf-confidns, t ẃć ɖ Cabiṇt Ofis sivl srvnt Heḷn McṆmara hd drwn atnśn in hr tstiṃni, n ẃć rīćt ɖer zeniʈ in hiz rportd wś t dsîd ẃć NHS peśnts śd liv n ẃć śd dî, wr prominnt in ol hiz ansrz. No qsćn sīmd t puñćr hiz b’lif, ẃć wz agresivli argyd in xćenjz wɖ ɖ inqîricǎnsl Hygo Cīʈ, ɖt hiz ǒn ax́nz wr cnsistntli tîmli, wîz n tuf, n ɖt eni fōlt le hol̦i elsẃr, n mnli in 10 Dǎnñ Strīt.

Ɖr r tū fetl probḷmz wɖ ɖs aproć. Ɖ frst z ɖt Mr Hancoc’s slf-b’lif mcs him oṿclem. H pts a yṇformli poẓtiv glos on evriʈñ, līvñ himslf no rūm t rtrit or compṛmîz wɖ digṇti. H dzrvd credit fr s’portñ locdǎn n opozñ hrd-iḿṇti straṭjz. H wz a critic v “Īt ǎt t hlp ǎt”. Bt hiz infṃs clem t b ptñ a rñ arnd cerhomz wl hōnt hiz repyteśn fr evr. Hiz arbitrri promis v 100,000 tsts a de left him wɖ a targit onli aćivbl bî crietiv cǎntñ. Hiz clem, rpitd on Ʈrzde, ɖt Britn wz betr priperd fr Covid ɖn uɖr cmpaṛbl cuntriz z maṇfestli untru. Hiz insistns, agn rpitd, ɖt Britn hd a prīpandemic plan z mslidñ, sins it wz nt ɖ rît wn t dīl wɖ Covid.

Ɖ secnd probḷm z ɖt Mr Hancoc’s acǎnts r d’recli contṛdictd bî tù mni uɖrz. Ɖ formr Dǎnñ Strīt ćīf advîzr Doṃnic Cumñz, wɖ hūm Mr Hancoc hz a rsipṛcl loɖñ, twītd ɖt ɖ formr hlʈsecṛtri wz layñ t ɖ inqîri ẃn h clemd t hv advîzd ɖ prîm̦inistr t impoz an imīɉt locdǎn tū wīcs bfr it hapnd. Wɖ hiz cntmt twdz ol ilectd poḷtiśnz fṛm ɖ prîm̦inistr dǎn, Mr Cumñz z srtnli no paṛgn. Mr Hancoc’s akześn ɖt h incurijd a “culćr v fir” in Dǎnñ Strīt z hard t dspyt. Bt Mr Cumñz’z ćarjz ɖt Mr Hancoc md clemz wɖt evidns, n ɖt ɖe subsiqntli pruvd t b fōls, hv ofn bn bact p bî uɖr sivl srvnts n poḷtiśnz.

In wn importnt rspct, hvr, ẃt Mr Hancoc tld ɖ inqîri wz c’rect. In ɖ end, ɖ prinsipl prṗs v ɖ inqîri z nt t dsîd ẃć ministr or advîzr wz indivijli most t blem fr ɖ YC’z felñz in ɖ fes v Covid. Yes, ɖt matrz. N, yes, Britn wz pkłrli hindrd bî ɖ fact ɖt Covid struc ẃn a diɖrñ Mr Jonsn n hiz secnd-ret tīm wr in guvnmnt. Nvɖles, ɖ mor importnt tasc ultiṃtli z t lrn lésnz. It z t pt strucćrz, aproćz n rzorsz in ples so ɖt ɖ sem l’mntbl errz, n ɖ sem igrījs untruɖz ɖt ministrz tld abt ɖm, r nt rpitd ẃn ɖ inevitbl nxt pandemic arîvz.

Instroduction to Ñspel

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925

In Ñspel: The Guardian view on the Chris Pincher case: the Johnson era is not dead

‘Conservative MPs are still paying the price for Mr Johnson’s failures and low standards’. Photograph: John Sibley/Reuters
‘Cnsrṿtiv MPz r stl peyñ ɖ prîs fr Mr Jonsn’z fełrz n lo standdz’. Foṭgraf: Jon Sibli/Rôtrz

Ɖ Gardịn vy on ɖ Cris Pinćr ces: ɖ Jonsn ira z nt ded

Transcription of a Guardian editorial of 6 July 2023

Ɖ Comnz standdz-cmiti z rît ɖt ɖ formr guvnmntministr mst b sspndd fr sx́l haṛsmnt

Ʈrzde, 6 Jlî 2023

A  yir ago on Frîde, Boris Jonsn anǎnst hiz reẓgneśn az prîm̦inistr. Hiz Dǎnñ Strīt stetmnt signld ɖ end v probbli ɖ wrst n srtnli ɖ most ceotic guvnmnt in modn Britiś hisṭri. Bt it olso bròt an end t wn v Britn’z most mizṛbli conṣqnśl admiṇstreśnz v rīsnt tîmz, ẃć tc – or in sm cesz feld t tec – ax́nz fr ẃć ɖs cuntri z stl peyñ ɖ prîs, ẃl ɖ man himslf cônz it on ɖ inṭnaśnl spīć-mcñ srcit.

Mr Jonsn hd prizîdd, f ɖt z ɖ rît wrd fr smwn so narssistic n slapdaś, ovr ɖ guvnmnt v ɖ dzastṛs Brexit dīl; ovr ɖ boćt rspons t ɖ Covid pandemic (ɖ corts rūld on Ʈrzde ɖt Mr Jonsn’z unridactd pandemic-ira ẂtsAps wl b handd t ɖ Covid inqîri); n hz śoud a slfiś disrigard, vrjñ on c’rupśn, twdz mni v ɖ most besic rūlz n eʈics v guvnmnt. A yir ago it wz clir ɖt h dd nt unḍstand h wz nt p t ɖ job. Ɖt z stl tru a yir on. In a ny inṭvy, asct abt ɖ ivnts ɖt léd p t hiz reẓgneśn, h līnz hiz hed t wn sîd n pritndz t snor. H jst dz’nt gt it. Bt h jst dz’nt cer îɖr.

Ʈrzde’z rport on ɖ Cris Pinćr ces pṛvîdz a tōdri n wel-tîmd rmîndr v ẃ Britn z so wel rid – w hop – v Mr Jonsn. In lêt Jūn last yir, Mr Pinćr, ɖen ɖ Jonsn guvnmnt’s depyti ćīf ẃip, got xtrimli drunc at ɖ Cnsrṿtiv Carltn Club. In ɖ club bar, witnist bî felo MPz, h sx̣́li haṛst n gropt tū men, huz cmplents bcem comn nolij. Mr Pinćr rzînd fṛm ɖ guvnmnt ɖ nxt de.

Caṛcṭristicli, Mr Jonsn rspondd bî fênñ ignṛns abt ɖ MP’z caṛctr. Ɖs wz a lî. Mr Jonsn, ẃn foṛn secṛtri undr T’rīza Me, hd in fact bn wornd in prsn abt Mr Pinćr’z conduct. Ɖt reṿleśn wz ɖ fînl strw fr mni Tori ministrz abt ɖer olrdi dscredtd līdr, n hlpt t trigr Mr Jonsn’z reẓgneśn a fy dez lêtr. Ɖ Comnz standdz-cmiti hz nǎ rūld ɖt Mr Pinćr’z conduct wz in’proprịt, daṃjñ, an abys v pǎr, n brīćt ɖ parḷmntri cod v conduct. Ɖ cmiti z unqsćṇbli rît. Ɖr cn b no uɖr cncluźn fṛm ɖer rport, nt līst in ɖ wīc ẃn BBC Nyznît rportd ɖt a sx̣́li preḍtri culćr rmenz prevḷnt at Wsminstr.

Mr Pinćr fesz an et-wīc sspnśn fṛm ɖ Comnz, inuf t trigr a rcōl-ptiśn amñ votrz in hiz Tamwrʈ cnstitẏnsi. Hiz dez az a MP r clirli numbrd, n h me rzîn eniwe. Ɖs wd trigr ɖ forʈ dificlt bîilex́n fr ɖ Cnsrṿtiv parti ɖs sumr, folowñ ɖ ʈri dy in tū wīcs’ tîm in Selbi n Ênsti, Suṃton n Frǒm n Mr Jonsn’z formr sīt v Uxbrij n Sǎʈ Rîslip.

A yir ago, ɖ Cnsrṿtiv parti hd a ćans v rīgrūpñ n rnywñ. It hz feld t d so undr îɖr v its post-Jonsn līdrz. Twelv munʈs on, ɖ guvnmnt z haplisli obsest wɖ mîgreśn n culćrworz rɖr ɖn ɖ icoṇmi, ɖ cost v livñ n ɖ hlʈsrvis. Cnsrṿtiv MPz r stl peyñ ɖ prîs fr Mr Jonsn’z fełrz n lo standdz n, in cesz lîc ɖt v Mr Pinćr, ɖer ǒn. Mr Jonsn me hv muvd on. Bt ɖ Cnsrṿtiv parti, ẃć h tentd so dīpli n daṃjñli in so mni wez, hz nt.

Instroduction to Ñspel

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925

Fṛm ɖ Gardịn: Brexit was Johnson and Johnson was Brexit. Now that he has gone, Britain must think again

Boris Johnson in front of the Vote Leave bus, bearing the claim that leaving the EU would mean £350m extra a week to spend on the NHS. Photograph: Stefan Rousseau/PA
Boris Jonsn in frunt v ɖ Vot Līv bus, bẹrñ ɖ clem ɖt līvñ ɖ YY wd mīn £350m xtra a wīc t spend on ɖ NHS. Foṭgraf: Stefan Rousseau/PA

Brexit wz Jonsn, n Jonsn wz Brexit. Nǎ ɖt h hz gn, Britn mst ʈnc agn

Transcription of a Guardian article of 15 June 2023

Ɖ dsgrest formr PM n ǎr dzastṛs xit fṛm ɖ YY wr umbilicli linct. Hiz fōl preznts a preśs oṗtyṇti

Martin Kettle

Martin Cetl, Ʈrzde, 15 Jūn 2023

It z īzi t oṿlc ɖ fact ɖt smʈñ larjr z at stec amd ɖ Cnsrṿtiv parti’z midsumr mêhem. Smʈñ larjr, fr śr, ɖn Boris Jonsn’z petyḷns or Nedīn Doriz’ atnśnsīcñ. Smʈñ afctñ s ol, nt jst ɖ Tori parti. Smʈñ ɖt unḍlîz evriʈñ els abt cuṛnt Britiś poḷtics n wl ǎtlast ɖ cuṛnt xîtmnt. Ɖt smʈñ z ɖ fyćr v Brexit.

Yes, Jonsn’z lêtist slf-sntrd lord-v-misrūl meḷdrama z rmarcbl īvn bî hiz ǒn standdz. Yes, Doriz’ lêtist c’rirmuv, gwñ postl in parḷmnt, on ɖ run fṛm hr ǒn reẓgneśn, z pṛvîdñ a sūṭbli dstrbñ coda t an olrdi dōntñli dstrbñ p’liticl c’rir. N, yes, Riśi Sūnac’s l’borịsli cnstructd oʈoṛti az prîm̦inistr z agn undr ʈret fṛm ɖ intmpṛt dsloylti ɖt hz bcm ɖ dfōltsetñ v a sx́n v ɖ Tori parti.

So, yes, mć v ɖs panṭmîm z indd abt Jonsn’z desṗreśn t rmen at ɖ sntr v ɖ stej – az ɖoz smrcñ ǎtñz wɖ hiz dog ć mornñ fr ɖ camraz cnfrm. Sm v ɖt me riyli b abt trayñ t mnūvr himslf bac intu parḷmnt in a sefr sīt at ɖ jenṛl ilex́n, ɖo hiz straṭji hz clirli nt bn ʈt ʈru.

Ol v it olso rezz xistnśl qsćnz fr ɖ Cnsrṿtivz, a parti ɖt wz fr so loñ ɖ inṭnaśnl paṛdîm fr pragmatic adapteśn in ɖ cōz v ilectṛl s’xes, īvn in ɖ ira v Marġrit Ʈaćr. Ɖ qsćn “Ẃt dz ɖ Cnsrṿtiv parti nǎ stand fr?” z hardr t ansr ɖz dez. Ɖ Tori parti Jenga tǎr smtmz fīlz jst a bric awe fṛm c’laps.

Nvɖles, bhnd ol v ɖs standz Brexit itslf. Ɖs crîsis, in uɖr wrdz, gz bynd ɖ śort-trm probḷmz v ɖ Sūnac guvnmnt n ɖ strugl ovr ɖ Tori parti’z îdntti. Ɖ linc btwn ɖ ivnts v ɖ past wīc n Britn’z brec wɖ Yṛp z umbilicl, bcz ɖ cord ɖt bîndz ɖm z Jonsn himslf.

Part v ɖs, bt nt ol v it, z abt ɖ lîz ɖt wr integṛl t bʈ Brexit n Jonsn’z fōl. Lîz abt pandemic locdǎn partiz pśt Jonsn fṛm guvnmnt n nǎ fṛm ɖ Comnz. Bt lîz abt Brexit wr olso ɖ rīzn ẃ h got intu Nu 10 in ɖ frst ples. Hiz p’liticl baniśmnt n hymilieśn fr wn set v lîz òt t cōl intu qsćn hiz rlịr p’liticl coṛneśn fr a difṛnt set.

It wz evr ɖus wɖ Jonsn. Hiz dparćr z nt a têl v an isnṣ́li dīsnt n truʈtelñ man hu ruind it ol bî layñ. Jonsn’z cntmt fr truʈ n rūlz z lîfloñ. Hiz hǎsmastr at Ītn, Martin Hamnd, feṃsli nêld ɖ probḷm mni decedz ago ẃn h rout: “I ʈnc h oṇstli b’livz ɖt it z ćrliś v s nt t rgard him az an xpśn, wn hu śd b fri v ɖ netwrc v obḷgeśn ẃć bîndz evriwn els.” Telñ ɖ truʈ matrz t y n m. It dz nt matr t Jonsn.

Riśi Sūnac n Cir Starmr claś ovr Boris Jonsn’z onrzlist at PMQz

Jonsn’z conduct in ɖ pandemic n sins rsivñ ɖ draft v ɖ priṿlijzcmiti rport z fŭli in lîn wɖ ɖt Ītn rport. Eni uɖr prîm̦inistr wd hv bn scrūpyḷsli cerfl nt t brec ɖ rūlz ɖt hiz ǒn guvnmnt hd impozd. Mni wd hv ŕd on ɖ sîd v cōśn n slf-dnayl. Nn v ɖt aplîz t Jonsn bcz it wd nt hv ocŕd t him ɖt it śd. H z ɖ slf-apôntd xpśn, a sosiopaʈic narssist. H hz dpartd bcz, in hiz vy, h z infiṇtli mor importnt ɖn eni presidnt, or rūl or insttyśn.

Bt ɖ sem aplîz t hiz attyd t Brexit. H dd’nt riyli hv a stroñ vy abt ẃɖr t līv or rmen. Bt h dd hv a stroñ vy abt ẃć wz bst fr Boris Jonsn. Hvñ md hiz ćôs, h sd ẃtvr cem t hand in ɖ campen, ẃɖr it wz tru or nt, jst az h hd dn in hiz jrṇlizm. A sirịs p’liticl līdr – sirịs in ɖ sns v acordñ prîoṛti t naśnl nīdz, nt ɖ līdr’z ǒn advantij or gratiḟceśn – wd nvr hv bn so reclis. Lêtr, h clemd t b ɖ wn hu cd gt Brexit dn, bt ɖt wz anɖr lî; ɖz wr mir wrdz n ɖs wz a mir pǒz. H hd no îdīa ẃt wd wrc or d damij n h dd’nt cer îɖr.

In ɖer bc, Jonsn at 10, Ánṭni Seldn n Remnd Nywl dstil Jonsn’z c’rir intu ʈri cor trets: hiz c’rizma, hiz slf’bzorpśn n hiz slfiśnis. Ɖer comn ʈred z an absns v moṛl sirịsnis, rflectd in ɖ we h livd n rūld. “Cōzz, cmitmnts, colīgz, az wel az plejz, poḷsiz n partnrz wr rgardd az mirli transitri n trnzax́nl,” ɖe rait. “Eni cd b jetisnd ẃn ɖe no longr srvd hiz inṭrests or pleźr.” Ivnts hv cnfrmd ɖ truʈ v ɖt. Yṛpiyn Yńn, parḷmnt, Cnsrṿtiv parti. Hu riyli cerz? Nt Jonsn.

Jonsn hz nǎ, it sīmz, wōct awe fṛm parti poḷtics. Phps h hz dpartd fr evr. Phps h wl rtrn. A mnoṛti v Toriz, an īvn smōlr mnoṛti v votrz n a hanfl v oṿmîti nyzpeprz r stl preyñ fr anɖr act. Fr ɖ rest, Jonsn līvz bhnd a damijd prsnl repyteśn, a damijd parti, a damijd sistm v guvnmnt, a damijd parḷmntri dmocṛsi n a damijd cuntri.

Ɖ p’liticl sistm on ẃć Jonsn atmtd fr so loñ t impoz hiz prṣnaḷti n hiz lac v standdz hz, bî n larj, rpulst hiz asōlt. Bt it hz tecn losz in dwñ so, n a secnd asōlt canot b rūld ǎt. Līdrz sć az Jonsn smtmz win n smtmz lūz. Bt ɖe olwz damij, n ɖ damij mst b rperd n mst b gardd agnst in fyćr.

Ɖt z ẃ, in an importnt sns, ɖz past fy dez r funḍmnṭli abt Brexit. Untl rīsntli, Brexit hd bcm a tbu. It flt inevitbl ɖt a jeṇreśn wd hv t pas bfr it wz p’liticli poṣbl fr a ny form v rleśnśp t b cnstructd wɖ ɖ YY ɖt wd undu ɖ harm v ɖ vot in 2016. Ic̣nomic struglz, ɖ ćaḷnjz v clîṃt n mîgreśn, n ɖ wor in Ycren ol mc ɖ nīd fr ɖt rībildñ mor presñ. A stedi śift in public opińn twdz closr cooṗreśn, foloud bî Jonsn’z fōl, nǎ opnz ɖ dor t a mć mor dtrmind riingejmnt.

Ɖt wl nt b īzi. Bt ɖ bigist lî ɖt Jonsn evr tld, n ɖ wn ɖt wz most wîdli b’livd, wz ovr Brexit. It hz rzultd in ɖ larjist pìs v damij v ɖ mni h inflictd on ɖ cuntri. Jonsn’z fōl n unpopylaṛti òt, ɖrfr, t riopn Britn’z rleśnśp wɖ Yṛp. Ɖt z tù big a qsćn fr ɖs or eni uɖr fyćr guvnmnt t cīp loct awe in ɖ tù-dificlt box. It z tîm, in uɖr wrdz, t tec bac cntrol.

Instroduction to Ñspel

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925

Fṛm ɖ Gardịn: Boris Johnson is gone, but his toxic Brexit myths will go on poisoning UK politics

‘For all the damage that Johnson has done, his power to make everything trivial has proved self-diminishing.’ Photograph: Mary Turner/AP
‘Fr ol ɖ damij ɖt Jonsn hz dn, hiz pǎr t mc evriʈñ trivịl hz pruvd slf-dmiṇśñ.’ Foṭgraf: Mẹri Trnr/AP

Boris Jonsn z gn, bt hiz toxic Brexit miʈs wl g on pôẓnñ YC poḷtics

Transcription of a Guardian article of 14 June 2023

A sstemic sicnis pṛdyst ɖ hlūṣneśn v merit in ɖ formr prîm̦inistr, ɖen dsgorjd him. Unḍstandñ ɖoz ivnts wl b criticl

Raphael Behr

Rafel Behr, Wnzde, 14 Jūn 2023

Ɖr z no crîsis at Wsminstr so sirịs ɖt it canot b md t lc trivịl bî ɖ incluźn v Boris Jonsn. N ɖr z no scandl involvñ Jonsn ɖt canot b xplend, parṣ́li or hol̦i, bî hiz lîz. Ɖoz r axịmz v post-Brexit poḷtics.

Ɖ Hǎs v Comnz cmiti v priṿlijz z dy t publiś a rport cncludñ ɖt a formr prîm̦inistr trnd hiz bac on truʈ n pt himslf in cntmt v parḷmnt. Ɖ graṿti v ɖ ofns invîts a sirịs dscuśn abt ɖ sefgardz in Britiś dmocṛsi. Or it śd.

Jonsn laid bcz h hd brocn ɖ rūlz ɖt most uɖr ppl obzrvd jrñ ɖ pandemic, ofn at sgnificnt prsnl cost. H laid bcz h flt no dyti v sbmiśn t rūlz impozd bî hiz ǒn guvnmnt or eni uɖr oʈoṛti. H laid bcz brecñ rūlz n rfyzñ t admit it hd bn a rlaybl meʈ̇d v slf’dvansmnt ʈrt hiz lîf, pṛpelñ him ol ɖ we t Dǎnñ Strīt. H laid bcz ɖt z ẃt h dz.

Ɖoz facts biyñ istabliśt, n Jonsn hvñ qit ɖ Comnz t avôd ɖ indigṇti v a sspnśn, ɖ mn qsćn left haññ z hǎ sć a man evr rīćt a pziśn v pǎr fr ẃć h wz obvịsli unfit. Ẃt sicnis in Britiś poḷtics pṛdyst ɖ hlūṣneśn v merit in Jonsn’z canddsi fr Nu 10?

Ɖ qsćn prīṣpozz ɖt ɖ fīvr hz brocn. Sweti fydñ btwn s’portrz v ɖ formr prîm̦inistr n ɖ incumbnt, wns Jonsn’z proṭźe, sjst uɖ̇wz. Ɖ rǎ wɖ Riśi Sūnac z ostnsbli abt smʈñ uɖr ɖn locdǎn brīćz, bt ɖe r cnctd in ɖ we ɖt multipl îtmz v garbij cn brn sepṛtli in ɖ sem scipfîr.

Sūnac z akzd v vītowñ onrz ɖt Jonsn wz intîtld t dǒl ǎt on hiz reẓgneśn az prîm̦inistr, n v rnegñ on sṗsific aśuṛnsz ɖt sm MPz wd gt ɖer piṛjz in dy cors. Dǎnñ Strīt sz ɖt z untru.

Nedīn Doriz, wn v ɖ ʈwortd noṃnīz, dcrîz a snobiś cnspiṛsi bî rić cidz in Nu 10 t privnt a wrcñclas grl fṛm Liṿpul aćivñ ɖ lediśp ɖt Jonsn hd sd wz in ɖ bag. Anɖr xpḷneśn wd b ɖt Jonsn laid.

Ɖs z ɖ trivịlîzñproses in ax́n. Smhǎ dbet lrćt fṛm ɖ consttyśnl prínsipl ɖt MPz b acǎntbl fr ɖ vraṣti v ẃt z sd in parḷmnt t plêgrǎnd rcriṃneśn btwn rîvl gañlīdrz n ɖer mêts. Ɖ sem mnūvr scips glibli fṛm a public-hlʈ imrjnsi in ẃć hundṛdz v ʈǎzndz v ppl daid t bic̣rñ ovr ɖ tîmtebl on ẃć feld ministrz śd b alaud t swop a sīt in ɖ Comnz fr a cŭśịr bŕʈ in ɖ Lordz; ol agnst ɖ bacdrop v a brūtl cost-v-livñ crîsis.

Jonsn z nt rsponsbl fr ol ɖt z absrd in Wsminstr. Ɖ hol biznis v līdrz drepñ ɖer croniz in ŕmin wz gṛtesc bfr h md it obsin. Bt hiz trṗtyd z redioactiv. It iluṃnets flwz in a consttyśnl ordr best on proṭcolz n pṛprayti, ẃl axeḷretñ its dce.

Ɖ mor Britiś dmocṛsi hz bn xpozd t him, ɖ les sirịs it hz bcm. Hiz toxic slf-involvmnt hz cntaṃnetd ɖ Cnsrṿtiv parti so cmplitli ɖt īvn in rjctñ him it inflets hiz vaṇti. H z a lump v wepnzgred narssizm p’lūtñ ɖ p’liticl er.

Inuf Toriz hv dạgnozd ɖt probḷm t wont rid v him, olɖo ɖt rj z rvrsbl. Les ɖn a yir ago Jonsn wz dfeṇstretd bî ɖ parḷmntri parti. Onli a fy munʈs lêtr, a hundṛd MPz wr redi t noṃnet him az ɖ bst prsn t rples Liz Trus. Bac in ɖ sumr v 2019, ẃn T’rīza Me rzînd, plenti v Cnsrṿtivz swòr secrid oɖz t privnt Jonsn evr rīćñ Nu 10, bfr indorsñ him n srvñ in hiz guvnmnt.

Ɖt wz ɖ Rūḅcón momnt. Crosñ t Jonsn’z sîd rqîrd wilfl rjx́n v eni atmt t inact Brexit ẃl rmenñ in sm we cogniznt v ic̣nomic n dipḷmatic riaḷti. Me hd brnd hrslf ǎt trayñ t recnsîl îdịlojicl dmandz fr cmplit rupćr fṛm Yṛp wɖ raṣ́nl mitgeśn v ɖ cost. It cd’nt b dn. Jonsn reprizntd ɖ vy ɖt ɖr wz no riyl cost, onli saḅtāj bî eṇmiz. N ɖe cd b oṿcm bî a srj in naśnl spirit, incarnetd in a hrǒic līdr – ɖ arc̣tîpl ofr v popylizm.

Jonsn’z gret hlmzmnśp, n Brexit az a drīm v naśnl rnesns, r stl fyzd in sm Tori imaɉneśnz. H adrest ɖt cnstitẏnsi d’recli in a reẓgneśnstetmnt ɖt cast ɖ priṿlijzcmiti az a “canġrucort” instōld az part v a plot “t tec rvnj fr Brexit n ultiṃtli t rvrs ɖ 2016 reḟrendm”.

Ɖ form n ton v ɖ arğmnt r cribd fṛm ɖ Doṇld Trump ple-bc: slf-pitiing, paṛnôd, dzînd t str beḷcos naśṇlist grīvns.

Ɖ iṃteśn wd b mor alarmñ f it wz’nt olso despṛt. Ɖr z an ōdịns fr ɖ imbitrd Brexit-btreyl miʈ, bt nt an ilex́n-winñ mjoṛti. Its induljns bî Cnsrṿtivz inḍcets a parti olrdi seṭlñ intu opziśn n, ẃl YS Rpublicn-stîl d’renjmnt z an obvịs tṛjectri wns ɖ brdn v guvnmnt z cast of, a resṭreśn v b’līgrd libṛl Tori tṛdiśnz z olso aveḷbl.

Fr ol ɖ damij ɖt Jonsn hz dn, hiz pǎr t mc evriʈñ trivịl hz pruvd slf-dmiṇśñ. H ʈt h std abv ɖ insttyśnz ɖt h c’ruptd, bt h wz bròt dǎn bî cnvnśnl deṃcratic mec̣nizmz. Hiz lîz abt locdǎn partiz wr xpozd bî a fri pres n puniśt bî parḷmnt. Ɖ Tori mjoṛti h clemz az prūf v hiz ynīc popylaṛti dd nt sev him. Ɖ sistm ɖt swoloud hiz śtic olso dsgorjd him. Ɖ riyl traɉdi z ɖt h wz host t a mor stubn paṛsitic wrm v an îdīa – ɖ Brexit dluźn ɖt hz nstd in ɖ guts v Britiś poḷtics n wl nt so īẓli b xcritd.

Instroduction to Ñspel

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925

Fṛm Đ Obzrvr: The price of failure: a moat for Johnson, jobs for Osborne and globetrotting for Truss

Liz Truss holds a press conference during her visit to Taipei this month. Photograph: Wiktor Dąbkowski/ZUMA Press Wire/Shutterstock
Liz Trus holdz a pres confṛns jrñ hr vizit t Taipei ɖs munʈ. Foṭgraf: Wiktor Dąbkowski/ZUMA Preswîr/Śuṭstoc

Ɖ prîs v fełr: a mot fr Jonsn, jobz fr Ozbōrn n globtrotñ fr Trus

(Transcription of an Observer article of 21 May 2023)

Ɖs unfgiṿbl trio cost Britn biłnz bt ɖ’v muvd on n w’r xpctd t fget

Catherine Bennett

Caʈrin Benit, Súnde 21 Me 2023

Nt t dnî ɖ apil v bcs n podcasts in ẃć s’xesfl ppl tōc insṗreśṇli abt fełr, bt a ny, qt difṛnt scūl v aṇcdotl evidns pṛpozz an oltrṇtiv aproć. Ẃt f ɖ most ifctiv we t dīl wɖ fełr z t dnî it evr hapnd? Or – s’pozñ smʈñ ǎtẉdli caṭstrofic z psivd defiṇtli t hv ocŕd – t xplen hǎ ɖs naṛtiv mirli cnfrmz ɖ harś ćaḷnjz cnfruntñ ɖ tarġtd îdiylist/sevyr/iṇsnt wrchors?

“Ẃn ɖ hrd muvz, it muvz.” (Boris Jonsn)

“Last ōtm I hd a mejr setbac.” (Liz Trus)

“I hd a riyli goldn tîm prsṇli.” (Jorj Ozbōrn)

F spectaklrli feld Cnsrṿtiv poḷtiśnz c’nt tec ol ɖ credit fr ɖs slf-suɖñ aproć t rcordd dzastr – Jeṛmi Corbin n uɖrz srv un’poḷjetic̣li elsẃr – ɖe ofr mastrclasz in fełrmanijmnt unlîcli t b s’pást untl anɖr partifeṿrit ćaḷnjz ɖ cnvnśn ɖt a leġsi v naśnl pen z incmpatbl wɖ c’rir’dvansmnt.

Trus biyñ ɖ Iliẓbʈ De v ɖs reṿluśn in fełr manijmnt. Jôn s t nt dscus ẃt ś dd’nt lrn fṛm a fełr ɖt nvr hapnd. Hr progres wɖ slf-vindceśn – az last wīc in Tîwan – mt lc pōltri bsd Ozbōrn’z mjestic x’sîz in rnywl, or Jonsn’z traṿlñ src̣s, bt ɖ formr hz tîm on hiz sîd, ɖ latr hiz fix́nz, śǒmnśp n b’wićt sponsrz.

Cnsiḍrñ hǎ mni hǎsholdz r lîcli t hv sufrd mor fînanśl pen fṛm Trus ɖn ɖe wd fṛm a mobîlfon robr – n hǎ sm me īvn rcōl ɖ misñ Ćīvnñ baʈrǒbz v ystrmunʈ – Trus’z rtrn fṛm ɖ wilḍnis, bfr ś’d īvn bn rportd misñ, wd sīm insenli msjujd f it wr’nt mor reṃnisnt v a trîumfnt Rić̣d III. Ɖt bit ẃr h sdysz ɖ wido v a man h rīsntli mrdrd. Ovr anɖr bodi. “Wz evr wmn in ɖs hymr wùd? Wz evr wmn in ɖs hymr wún?” Ɖt’s hǎ mad – or impresiv – it z t si nyz orġnîześnz ɖt lêtli ćartd ɖ £30bn cost v Trus’z idịsi nǎ rcordñ hr pṛnǎnsmnts wɖ a p’lît inṭrest olmst indistnḡśbl fṛm cmpliṣti.

Boris Johnson’s new home in Oxfordshire has a moat. Photograph: Geoffrey Swaine/Shutterstock
Boris Jonsn’z ny hom in Oxfdśr hz a mot. Foṭgraf: Jefri Swên/Śuṭstoc

Acć̣li it’s madr: Śecspir’z Rić̣d III pritndz t b penitnt. Last wīc Trus simpli stumbld ʈru inuf pṛnǎnsmnts on Ćîna t pswed ɖ guḷbl t promlget ɖ slfiz ś hz olwz cnsidrd, hr bîogṛfrz cnfrmd, criticl t hr inṭrests.“

Trus rjz Sūnac t clas Ćîna az a ‘ʈret’ t YC s’kṛti”, wz ɖ BBC’z dytifl tec, az f ɖs wz (a) nyz ǎtsd hr hed, n (b) riyli ɖ pônt v ɖ Taiwan-ʈīmd step in Trus’z rīhbiḷteśn. Sins ɖ rport sòt baḷns fṛm hr particritics, bt nt fṛm sviłn victimz v ɖ “mōrón riscprīmịm”, a popylr trm ś inspîrd az loñ ago az last Octobr, ɖs advnćr cd hardli hv gn betr fr wn v ɖ most ćarmlis vandlz in rīsnt p’liticl hisṭri. Ɖo ś z obvịsli forćṇt in ɖt rspct t beṇfit fṛm ɖ pạniyrñ xampl v Ozbōrn.
It’s ʈancs t Ozbōrn, pastmastr v fełrberịl, ɖt w nǒ ɖt public loɖñ n pṛfeśnl sspiśn cn diṣpet t cmplitli sef levlz in az litl az nîn yirz. Ɖt wz ɖ gap btwn Ozbōrn biyñ bùd at ɖ Lundn Paṛlimpics ẃn ppl stl rzntd hiz asōlt on public-srṿsz spendñ (includñ on ḿziymz), n hiz biyñ md ćermn v ɖ Britiś Ḿziym.

Hiz record az ćanslr, cndemd bʈ bfr n aftr ɖ c’rirćenj ɖt foloud hiz n Devid Camṛn’z risc-tecñ on Brexit, hd nt, v cors, cm btwn him n a s’xeśn v uɖr unlîcli bt fōlt-irezñ jobz, includñ eḍtñ Łifğeńi Leḅjef’s Īvnñ Standd.

China’s state press praised George Osborne for setting aside human rights objections, which already included the persecution of the Uyghurs. Photograph: Hannah McKay/Reuters
Ćîna’z stetpres prezd Jorj Ozbōrn fr setñ asd hymn-rîts objx́nz, ẃć olrdi includd ɖ prṣkśn v ɖ Wīgrz. Foṭgraf: Hana Mcî/Rôtrz

Tde, brniśt bî hiz Britiś Ḿziym cnx́n, freś pṛmośn fr ɖ crietr v ɖ bedrūm tax wl b rportd (h’z t orṇmnt ɖ Lingotto invstmntcumṗni), wɖt eniwn ascñ ẃ y’d hîr smwn hu, az wel az wontñ T’rīza Me ćopt p “in mî frizr”, wz fr so loñ asośietd wɖ biyñ amezñli roñ. Nt onli on osteṛti, olɖo ɖt wd b inuf, bt on HS2, on ɖ gardnbrij n most memṛbli, f rmemḅrñ z yr ʈñ, on Ćîna. H léd a fōnñ deḷgeśn ɖr in 2015: “Let’s criet a goldn deced fr ɖ YC-Ćîna rleśnśp”. F h’d got hiz we, ɖ luv’fer wd stl hv tū yirz t run.

In rtrn, Ćîna’z stetpres prezd Ozbōrn fr setñ asd hymn-rîts objx́nz, ẃć olrdi includd ɖ prṣkśn v ɖ Wīgrz. “Cīpñ a modist manr z ɖ c’rect attyd fr a foṛn ministr viẓtñ Ćîna t sīc biznis oṗtyṇtiz.”
Last wīc Aḷster Cambl, aftr invîtñ ɖ modist stetsmn on t hiz podcast Ɖ Rest Z Poḷtics, sd Ozbōrn hd “sm gd advîs fr Lebr”. Hopḟli smwn in Lebr rcōlz ɖt in 2019 Ozbōrn, bacñ Jonsn, tld Standd rīdrz hiz canddet cd “pt hiz parti n cuntri bac on trac”.
Wɖ hiz rīsnt Elginwośñ hlpñ cmplit ɖ rmuvl v ẃt wns apird unśiftbl repyteśnl stenz, Ozbōrn’z riinvnśn, īzd bî onli ɖ mîldist xpreśnz v rgret, z a ri’śurñ tmplet fr eni poḷtiśn wɖ ziro dnaybiḷti fr ɖer part in ɖ YC’z post-2010 dclîn. Ẃt mt nt b fgivn bî ɖ public wl b sn fgotn, or, wɖ inuf bṛvādo n ny job tîtlz, ovŗitn.
Lîcwz, ẃtvr bcmz v Jonsn, ɖ rbycs ɖt trigrd hiz xit olrdi rīd lîc historic dokmnts, bérli rletd t ɖ prospṛs figr hu, hvñ dīreld bʈ hiz parti n cuntri, hz jst aqîrd ɖ ultiṃt stamp v Tori rspctbiḷti, a motd mánr. Phps Cári hz yt t rīd Aḷn Clarc’s dayriz.
Ẃɖr ɖ Tori we wɖ fełr wl beṇfit fełrz ǎtsd ɖ parti probbli dpndz on ɖ alījnsz v ɖ feld. A mōrón riscprīmịm ɖt ɖ Meil or Teḷgraf fgev fṛm Trus, ɖe wd nt fṛm Cir Starmr. Bt ɖ wilñnis v mor ńtṛl nyzsorsz t qot ɖ unripntnt Trus wɖ litl or no aluźn t hr dredfl prīvịs, hints ɖt ẃr śem hz olrdi gn, fełr cd stl folo.

Instroduction to Ñspel

"House by the Railroad," Edward Hopper, 1925

In Ñspel: The Guardian view on Rishi Sunak’s Cop27 trip: placing the planet on a road to hell

‘The prime minister’s track record reveals a politician who governs in the Tories’ narrow political interest rather than the national one.’ Photograph: Getty
‘Ɖ prîm̦inistr’z tracrecord rvilz a poḷtiśn hu guvnz in ɖ Tōriz’ naro p’liticl inṭrest rɖr ɖn ɖ naśnl wn.’ Foṭgraf: Geti

Ɖ Gardịn vy on Riśi Sūnac’s Cop27 trip: plesñ ɖ planit on a rod t hel

(Transcription of a Guardian editorial of 7 Nov. 2022)

Britn hd sd its em wz t ‘cīp 1.5S alîv’. Ɖ prîm̦inistr sīmz t wont it ded

Munde 7 Nvmbr 2022

Riśi Sūnac z nt inṭrestd in ɖ clîṃt imrjnsi – n evriwn nz it. Forst t mc a flayñ vizit t Cop27, Mr Sūnac’s intranzijns md him an ǎtcast at ɖ YN sumit in Sharm el-Śeic, Ījipt. H dd sit dǎn wɖ Frans’z Emmanuel Macron, n ɖ Itałn faŗît prîm̦inistr, Giorgia Meloni, t dscus a subjict – “ilīgl mîgreśn” – ɖt Mr Sūnac obvịsli cerz abt. Bt most wrldlīdrz wr nt gwñ t mc tîm fr a prîm̦inistr hu hd bloct Britn’z ny moṇc fṛm atndñ ɖ sumit n onli cem bcz h fird biyñ upstejd bî Boris Jonsn. Ẃn Mr Sūnac dd trn p, it wz wɖ hiz prīdisesr’z plan n slognz. Imbaṛsñli, Mr Jonsn dd tec sntrstej at Cop27 – fṛm ɖ sîdlînz.

Ɖ prîm̦inistr’z tracrecord rvilz a poḷtiśn hu guvnz in ɖ Tōriz’ naro p’liticl inṭrest rɖr ɖn ɖ naśnl wn. Slaśñ fyl n er dytiz az ćanslr jst dez bfr ɖ last Cop sumit – hostd bî ɖ YC – śoud hiz tru culrz. Plejz t crtel onśor wind n solr dveḷpmnt jrñ ɖ Cnsrṿtiv līdrśp campen signld ɖt prsnl ambiśn wz mor importnt ɖn clîṃtgolz. In Cop26, cuntriz sînd p t rdys carbndîoxîd imiśnz t limit globl hītñ t 1.5S abv priindustrịl tmpṛćrz. Britn hd wontd t “cīp 1.5S alîv”. Mr Sūnac sīmz t wont it ded.

In ofis, h hz axeḷretd ɖ dclîn v ɖ grīn ajnda, ijctñ fṛm ɖ cabiṇt ɖ Cop26 prezidnt, Alok Sharma, n ɖ clîṃtministr, Greym Stywt. Cabiṇt cmitiz r ẃr poḷsi arğmnts r ʈraśt ǎt. Undr Mr Jonsn ɖr wr tū cabiṇt cmitiz dedcetd t clîṃt, wn ćerd bî Mr Sharma n wn bî ɖ prîm̦inistr. Bt nǎ “net ziro” hz bn rold intu a cmiti on “dmestic n ic̣nomic aferz”, wɖ a foc̣s on eṇji s’kṛti. Mr Sūnac, sinicli, z yzñ ɖ Ycren wor t se ɖt Britn śd b slf-rlaynt on its ǒn fosilfylz. Bt Britn śd rdys its dpndns on carbn-best eṇji n hlp end ɖ clîṃt imrjnsi.

Mr Jonsn tld hiz Red Sī ōdịns ɖt “nǎ z nt ɖ tîm t g wibli-wobli on net ziro”. Mr Sūnac z wiḅlñ n woḅlñ. Hiz planz t xtract mor ôl n gas fṛm ɖ Norʈ Sī r nt cmpatbl wɖ ɖ YC’z net ziro cmitmnt. Nɖr z bildñ a colmîn in Cumbria. Pŭlñ carbndîoxîd bac ǎt v ɖ atṃsfir cn xpand ɖ spes fr poẓtiv imiśnz, bt ɖ tecnoḷji z far fṛm biyñ rold ǎt.

A globl p’liticl crîsis v ɖ eṇji trnziśn z bruwñ. “Ɖ xtñśn v hymncînd” lūmz, bt Britn z bīncǎntñ. Ẃl Mr Sūnac dclerz ɖt h wl spend ɖ £11bn promist bî Mr Jonsn t hlp purr cuntriz adapt t globl hītñ, h w’nt se h wl cīp t ɖ plan t pe ǎt ɖ caś ovr fîv yirz. F ɖ muni z spred ovr a longr pirịd, it wl mīn cuts in clîṃtfînans. Ɖs wl hrt ɖ purist ppl in ɖ wrld. Mr Sūnac me sel it az mor muni fr Brítnz. Ćaṛti me bgin at hom, bt ẃt hapnz f yr hǎs z on fîr?

Ɖ Britiś guvnmnt z pleyñ a confidnstric ɖt riscs trapñ ɖ wrld in fosilfyl dpndns. Mr Sūnac z peyñ lipsrvis t invîrnmntl iśuz ẃl péḍlñ grīnwoś poḷsiz n ic̣nomic bludletñ. Ɖs cnd v poḷtics pevz, in ɖ wrdz v ɖ YN secṛtrijenṛl, António Guterres, ɖ hîwe t clîṃthel.

Instroduction to Ñspel

Fṛm Đ Gardịn: Liz Truss’s victory speech bodes ill for her tenure in office

‘If this is a measure of her political acumen, we must all expect the disgraceful events that have become the norm in our politics to continue unabated.’ Photograph: Stefan Rousseau/PA
‘F ɖs z a meźr v hr p’liticl akymn, w mst ol xpct ɖ dsgresfl ivnts ɖt hv bcm ɖ norm in ǎr poḷtics t cntiny un’beitd.’ Foṭgraf: Stefan Rousseau/PA

Liz Trus’z vicṭrispīć bodz il fr hr teńr in ofis

(Transcription of some letters published in the Guardian on 6 September 2022)

Ɖ ny prîm̦inistr’z prêz fr Boris Jonsn wz ton-def, sz Rúsl Huntr, ẃl Pītr Cev pônts t ɖ emti wrdz v prīvịs Tori līdrz. Plus letrz fṛm Su Hardmn, Jenifr Brêʈwet n Pītr Milr

Letrz, Tyzde 6 Sptmbr 2022

Ẃl liṣnñ t ǎr nyli “ilectd” prîm̦inistr’z mni venglorịs proṃsz in hr vicṭri spīć (5 Sptmbr), I wz struc bî hr utr lac v p’liticl awernis or īvn comn dīsnsi t ʈnc it aproprịt t ʈanc hr prīdisesr. It wz az f h hd greśsli stept dǎn aftr slflis srvis t ɖ neśn rɖr ɖn biyñ rmuvd bî hiz parḷmntri colīgz fr hiz dsoṇsti n cntińl obfsceśn.

F ɖs z a meźr v hr p’liticl akymn, w mst ol xpct ɖ dsgresfl ivnts ɖt hv bcm ɖ norm in ǎr poḷtics t cntiny un’beitd.

Rúsl Huntr
Īstbōrn, Īst Susix

Pundits wl v cors mul ovr Liz Trus’z frst wrdz az prîm̦inistr ǎtsd Dǎnñ Strīt. Bt lest w fget: Boris Jonsn in Jlî 2019 promist t “rstor trust in dmocṛsi”; T’rīza Me in Jlî 2016 wd fît “brnñ injusṭsz”; Devid Camṛn in Me 2010 wd lc aftr “ɖ eldrli, ɖ frel, ɖ purist”; n Marġrit Ʈaćr in Me 1979 wd brñ harṃni “ẃr ɖr z discord”.

Nn v ɖt hapnd. Jonsn’z antics hv indenjrd dmocṛsi. Undr Me, injusṭsz grù frɖr; undr Camṛn, lîvz bcem wrs fr ɖ dis’dvantijd; n Ʈaćr z stl rmembrd fr ɖ dīp discord ś cōzd. Mć els ɖt wz anǎnst dd nt mtirịlîz.

Gvn ɖs tracrecord, it wd b astoṇśñ f Trus’z wrdz trnd ǎt t tel s mć abt ẃt ś wl ivnć̣li aćiv – at līst wɖ rgard t eniʈñ ɖt wd b dzîṛbl.

Pītr Cev
Lundn

Wiłm Devis rîtli sz ɖt ɖ impact v Ʈać̣rît dogma in ɖ rli 1980z dstroid hol industrịl rījnz (Trusonomics wl b a reclis x’sîz in slaśñ ɖ stet ẃn ɖr’z nʈñ left t cut, 5 Sptmbr). Bt in lcñ at ɖ c’lectiv, w mst nt fget ɖ impact on indivijlz hu wr on ɖ rsivñ end v Marġrit Ʈaćr’z dogmatic aproć t evriʈñ.

I grù p in ɖ norʈ-wst jrñ ɖ Ʈaćr yirz n wrct in a Yorx́r banc, so sw frst-hand ɖ damij dn. Ś rīct haṿc on industrịl hartḷndz wɖ no ʈōt az t ẃt wd rples ɖoz jobz. Ɖ ifcts v hr il-ʈt-ʈru ax́nz cn b sìn tde, az ɖ YC struglz wɖ hî infleśn n an ovŗlayns on ɖ srvis inḍstri.

Ʈaćr’z îdịlojicl b’lif ɖt ɖ fri marcit wd solv evriʈñ hz left s wɖ an imesietd public sectr. Bt eniwn hu livd ʈru ɖoz yirz wl śrli agri ɖt wn v ɖ most abhoṛnt aspects v ɖt pirịd wz ɖt ś md y fīl “les ɖn” f y dd’nt hv muni. Plus ça change, plus c’est le même chose.

Su Hardmn
Wŭdbrij, Suḟc

Hǎ mć longr wl w cntiny t b’liv ɖt w liv in a dmocṛsi wɖ an unilectd upr hǎs n a prîm̦inistr ćozn bî a hanfl v Cnsrṿtiv parti membrz?

Jenifr Brêʈwet
Farñdn, Oxfdśr

So mć fr ɖer fînanśl proḅti, grīn cṛdnślz n comn-sns ẃn Boris Jonsn n Liz Trus flî t Scotḷnd in sepṛt pleinz on ɖ sem de t si ɖ Qīn.

Pītr Milr
Basñbōrn, Cembrijśr

Instroduction to Ñspel

In Ñspel │ The Observer view on the unforgivable silence of the Tories in the energy crisis

Ɖ Obzrvr vy on ɖ unfgiṿbl sîḷns v ɖ Tōriz in ɖ eṇjicrîsis

(Transcription of an editorial published in the Observer on Sunday 28 August 2022)

Miłnz v ppl rîtli fīl btreid bî ɖ guvnmnt fr nglectñ t d eniʈñ abt ɖ lūmñ fînanśl śoc

Súnde, 28 Ōġst 2022

Ɖ  rîzñ cost v eṇji z a naśnl imrjnsi. Last yir, Britiś hǎsholdz c’lectivli spent arnd £30bn on ɖer eṇjibilz. Nxt yir, ɖt bil z xpctd t b in ɖ rījn v £170bn. Ɖoz sumz d nt acǎnt fr ɖ hayr eṇjicosts ɖt wl b fest elsẃr in ɖ icoṇmi, bî bizṇsz, hospitlz n scūlz. It wd b a c’losl ic̣nomic śoc ɖt wd cōz untld ic̣nomic hardśp n homlisnis n ppl dayñ v cndiśnz rletd t biyñ cold.

Last wīc, Ofgem anǎnst ɖ eṇjiprîs cap wd rîz t an aṿrij v £3,549 in fîv wīcs’ tîm. Ɖs z olmst tripl ẃt it wz a yir ago, līvñ ppl fesñ aṿrij eṇjibilz v £500 a munʈ n mor. Xprts hv pridictd ɖs wl frɖr incris t £700 a munʈ in Jańri. Ɖz cndz v sumz wl hrt ɖ līst aflụnt ɖ most: lo-incm faṃliz wɖ yuñ ćildṛn, pnśnrz livñ in poṿti, ppl wɖ dis’biḷtiz. Bt onli a slim mnoṛti v hǎsholdz r mīnñḟli insyletd fṛm a fînanśl śoc v ɖs ordr. It z a crîsis on ɖ scel v ɖ trmôl v 2008, ẃć rqîrd a £137bn up-frunt beilǎt t privnt bancs c’lapsñ n ppl’z sevñz ivaṗretñ, n v ɖ ic̣nomic impact v ɖ pandemic, ẃć rqîrd £70bn v frlo s’port t b peid t 11.7 miłn implôīz.

Yt ɖ onli rspons v ɖ Cnsrṿtiv guvnmnt hz bn sîḷns. Ǎr lem-duc prîm̦inistr, Boris Jonsn, wd nt stand dǎn untl ɖ sumr wz ovr bt hz spent hiz last wīcs in ofis hoḷdeyñ abrōd, ẃl formr prîm̦inistrz n xprts plīdd fr an imrjnsipacij t b swiftli dveḷpt n anǎnst. Greg Handz, ɖ eṇjiministr, wz abrōd on ɖ de ɖt Ofgem, ɖ eṇjireğletr, md its anǎnsmnt. Ɖ guvnmnt ofrd no ministr t tur ɖ brōdcaststydioz t ri’śur ɖ public ɖt ɖ crîsis z in hand. Ɖ parti’s tū canddets t b ɖ nxt prîm̦inistr hv bn mor foc̣st on tẹrñ ćuncs ǎt v ć uɖr in an oṿli loñ n incrisñli bitr contest ɖn on cooṗretñ t dveḷp a plan ɖt wd b impḷmntd bî huevr winz.

It z unfgiṿbl t hv a grūp v Cnsrṿtiv poḷtiśnz in guvnmnt hu cer so litl fr ɖ cuntri n hu hv so litl rspct fr ɖ ppl hu liv in it ɖt ɖe ʈnc it axptbl t nglect ɖer rsponsbiḷtiz in ɖs we. Nɖr Liz Trus nr Riśi Sŭnac hz grapld wɖ ɖ crîsis ɖe wd inherit az prîm̦inistr. Trus hz promist tnz v biłnz v taxcuts ɖt wl d prisîsli nʈñ t hlp ɖ hardist-up cǒp n wl dlivr ɖ most s’port t ɖ wlʈiist hǎsholdz hu r ɖ wnz hu cn gt bî.

Ś hz pripostṛsli sd ś wz nt in fevr v “handǎts”; ɖ iqivḷnt v seyñ ś wd hv bn hapi t let ɖ bancs c’laps in 2008 or fr ppl t hv bcm desttyt az a rzult v biyñ leid of jrñ ɖ locdǎnz v 2020. Ɖt ś z olmst srtnli lîcli t b ɖ nxt prîm̦inistr z a dsgresfl indcetr v ɖ stet v ɖ Cnsrṿtiv parti. Sŭnac hz at līst indcetd h wd targit s’port at ɖ līst wel of, bt hz sd nʈñ ɖt śoz h unḍstandz ɖ scel v ẃt z nīdd.

Ɖ sîz v ɖ eṇji prîsrîzz z sć ɖt meźrz tarġtd ʈru ɖ beṇfitsistm cn no longr b sfiśnt, bcz ɖe wd mis tù mni hǎsholdz fr hūm xtra s’port z vîtl. It rqîrz an xtrordnri rspons. Lebr hz pt fwd wn sć pṛpozl: t cap eṇjibilz at ɖer cuṛnt rets, at a cost v arnd £30bn ovr six munʈs or £60bn ovr a yir, partli fundd ʈru an incrist windfōl tax on ôl n gas pṛdysrz.

Ɖr r uɖr wez v dliṿrñ ɖs s’port, sć az brññ in a ny sośl eṇjitarif ɖt cuts bilz fr ol bt ɖ wlʈiist hǎsholdz or at līst taxñ bac sm v ɖ costs v ɖs fṛm ɖ rićist 10% or 20% v hǎsholdz. Bt Cir Starmr hz unḍstd ẃt z nīdd in a we ɖt hiz Cnsrṿtiv cǎnṭparts in guvnmnt hv nt.

Ɖ imīɉt cōz v ɖs crîsis z Vladīmir Pūtin’z campen v terr in Ycren. H z trayñ t hold ɖ wrld hostij bî liṃtñ axes t Ruśn gas. Ɖr z no ćôs bt t c’lectivli pe ɖ prîs. Bt Cnsrṿtiv prîm̦inistrz hv tecn bad dsiźnz ovr ɖ last deced ɖt hv left ɖ YC mor xpozd t ɖs crîsis ɖn it uɖ̇wz mt hv bn. Devid Camṛn scrapt subṣdiz fr solr pǎr, eṇji-ifiśnsi scīmz n onśor wind, mcñ Britn mor rlaynt on fosilfylz. Ɖ guvnmnt hz alaud ɖ YC’z gaștorij fsiḷtiz t clos, so ɖt w nǎ hv cpaṣti t stor jst 2% v ańl dmand.

Evri de ɖt pasz wɖt ministrz stepñ p t anǎns an imrjnsi reskpacij z a de ɖt mor ppl hv t liv sic wɖ wuri, nt nwñ hǎ ɖe wl mc it ʈru ɖ wintr. Bizṇsz ɖt hv bn left damijd bî ɖ pandemic hv no srtnti abt ẃɖr ɖe wl b ebl t svîv ɖ nxt fy munʈs. It z a mońmntl n unconśṇbl fełr bî ɖ guṿnñclas. Sŭnac n Trus canot līv it eni longr bfr anǎnsñ îɖr jônt or sepṛt imrjnsipac̣jz ɖt ɖe wd implimnt śd ɖe fînd ɖmslvz in Dǎnñ Strīt.

Instroduction to Ñspel

Frank Poems: FOR CLARIFICATION

FOR CLARIFICATION

The New Statesman, 24 November 2021: "Boris Johnson’s shambolic speeches hide a bigger problem: the Tories are getting tired"

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