
Ɖ prîs v fełr: a mot fr Jonsn, jobz fr Ozbōrn n globtrotñ fr Trus
(Transcription of an Observer article of 21 May 2023)
Ɖs unfgiṿbl trio cost Britn biłnz bt ɖ’v muvd on n w’r xpctd t fget
Caʈrin Benit, Súnde 21 Me 2023
Nt t dnî ɖ apil v bcs n podcasts in ẃć s’xesfl ppl tōc insṗreśṇli abt fełr, bt a ny, qt difṛnt scūl v aṇcdotl evidns pṛpozz an oltrṇtiv aproć. Ẃt f ɖ most ifctiv we t dīl wɖ fełr z t dnî it evr hapnd? Or – s’pozñ smʈñ ǎtẉdli caṭstrofic z psivd defiṇtli t hv ocŕd – t xplen hǎ ɖs naṛtiv mirli cnfrmz ɖ harś ćaḷnjz cnfruntñ ɖ tarġtd îdiylist/sevyr/iṇsnt wrchors?
“Ẃn ɖ hrd muvz, it muvz.” (Boris Jonsn)
“Last ōtm I hd a mejr setbac.” (Liz Trus)
“I hd a riyli goldn tîm prsṇli.” (Jorj Ozbōrn)
F spectaklrli feld Cnsrṿtiv poḷtiśnz c’nt tec ol ɖ credit fr ɖs slf-suɖñ aproć t rcordd dzastr – Jeṛmi Corbin n uɖrz srv un’poḷjetic̣li elsẃr – ɖe ofr mastrclasz in fełrmanijmnt unlîcli t b s’pást untl anɖr partifeṿrit ćaḷnjz ɖ cnvnśn ɖt a leġsi v naśnl pen z incmpatbl wɖ c’rir’dvansmnt.
Trus biyñ ɖ Iliẓbʈ De v ɖs reṿluśn in fełr manijmnt. Jôn s t nt dscus ẃt ś dd’nt lrn fṛm a fełr ɖt nvr hapnd. Hr progres wɖ slf-vindceśn – az last wīc in Tîwan – mt lc pōltri bsd Ozbōrn’z mjestic x’sîz in rnywl, or Jonsn’z traṿlñ src̣s, bt ɖ formr hz tîm on hiz sîd, ɖ latr hiz fix́nz, śǒmnśp n b’wićt sponsrz.
Cnsiḍrñ hǎ mni hǎsholdz r lîcli t hv sufrd mor fînanśl pen fṛm Trus ɖn ɖe wd fṛm a mobîlfon robr – n hǎ sm me īvn rcōl ɖ misñ Ćīvnñ baʈrǒbz v ystrmunʈ – Trus’z rtrn fṛm ɖ wilḍnis, bfr ś’d īvn bn rportd misñ, wd sīm insenli msjujd f it wr’nt mor reṃnisnt v a trîumfnt Rić̣d III. Ɖt bit ẃr h sdysz ɖ wido v a man h rīsntli mrdrd. Ovr anɖr bodi. “Wz evr wmn in ɖs hymr wùd? Wz evr wmn in ɖs hymr wún?” Ɖt’s hǎ mad – or impresiv – it z t si nyz orġnîześnz ɖt lêtli ćartd ɖ £30bn cost v Trus’z idịsi nǎ rcordñ hr pṛnǎnsmnts wɖ a p’lît inṭrest olmst indistnḡśbl fṛm cmpliṣti.

Acć̣li it’s madr: Śecspir’z Rić̣d III pritndz t b penitnt. Last wīc Trus simpli stumbld ʈru inuf pṛnǎnsmnts on Ćîna t pswed ɖ guḷbl t promlget ɖ slfiz ś hz olwz cnsidrd, hr bîogṛfrz cnfrmd, criticl t hr inṭrests.“
Hiz record az ćanslr, cndemd bʈ bfr n aftr ɖ c’rirćenj ɖt foloud hiz n Devid Camṛn’z risc-tecñ on Brexit, hd nt, v cors, cm btwn him n a s’xeśn v uɖr unlîcli bt fōlt-irezñ jobz, includñ eḍtñ Łifğeńi Leḅjef’s Īvnñ Standd.

Tde, brniśt bî hiz Britiś Ḿziym cnx́n, freś pṛmośn fr ɖ crietr v ɖ bedrūm tax wl b rportd (h’z t orṇmnt ɖ Lingotto invstmntcumṗni), wɖt enwn ascñ ẃ y’d hîr smwn hu, az wel az wontñ T’rīza Me ćopt p “in mî frizr”, wz fr so loñ asośietd wɖ biyñ amezñli roñ. Nt onli on osteṛti, olɖo ɖt wd b inuf, bt on HS2, on ɖ gardnbrij n most memṛbli, f rmemḅrñ z yr ʈñ, on Ćîna. H léd a fōnñ deḷgeśn ɖr in 2015: “Let’s criet a goldn deced fr ɖ YC-Ćîna rleśnśp”. F h’d got hiz we, ɖ luv’fer wd stl hv tū yirz t run.