bî Dr Joṇʈn Swift

1729

I ʈnc it z agrìd bî ol partiz, ɖt ɖs pṛdijs numbr v ćildṛn in ɖ armz, or on ɖ bacs, or at ɖ hìlz v ɖer muɖrz, n frīqntli v ɖer faɖrz, z in ɖ preznt dploṛbl stet v ɖ cñdm, a vri gret adiśnl grīvns; n ɖrfr huevr cd fînd ǎt a fer, ćīp n īzi meʈ̇d v mcñ ɖz ćildṛn sǎnd n ysfl membrz v ɖ comnwlʈ, wd dzrv so wel v ɖ public, az t hv hiz staću set p fr a prizrvr v ɖ neśn.

Bt mî intnśn z vri far fṛm biyñ cnfînd t pṛvîd onli fr ɖ ćildṛn v pṛfest begrz: it z v a mć gretr xtnt, n śl tec in ɖ hol numbr v infnts at a srtn ej, hu r born v peṛnts in ifct az litl ebl t s’port ɖm, az ɖoz hu dmand ǎr ćaṛti in ɖ strīts.

Az t mî ǒn part, hvñ trnd mî ʈōts fr mni yirz upn ɖs importnt subjict, n mtyrli weid ɖ sevṛl scīmz v ǎr pṛjctrz, I hv olwz faund ɖm grosli mstecn in ɖer compyteśn. It z tru, a ćîld jst dropt fṛm its dam, me b s’portd bî hr milc, fr a solr yir, wɖ litl uɖr nuriśmnt: at most nt abv ɖ valy v tū śilñz, ẃć ɖ muɖr me srtnli gt, or ɖ valy in scraps, bî hr lwfl okpeśn v begñ; n it z xacli at wn yir old ɖt I pṛpoz t pṛvîd fr ɖm in sć a manr, az, instd v biyñ a ćarj upn ɖer peṛnts, or ɖ pariś, or wontñ fūd n remnt fr ɖ rest v ɖer livz, ɖe śl, on ɖ contrri, cntribyt t ɖ fīdñ, n partli t ɖ cloɖñ v mni ʈǎzndz.

Ɖr z lîcwz anɖr gret advantij in mî scīm, ɖt it wl privnt ɖoz voḷntri aborśnz, n ɖt horid practis v wimin mrḍrñ ɖer basṭd ćildṛn, alas! tù frīqnt amñ s, sacṛfîsñ ɖ pur iṇsnt bebz, I dǎt, mor t avôd ɖ xpns ɖn ɖ śem, ẃć wd muv tirz n piti in ɖ most savij n inhymn brest.

Ɖ numbr v soulz in ɖs cñdm biyñ yẓ́li recnd wn miłn n a haf, v ɖz I calklet ɖr me b abt tū hundṛd ʈǎznd cupl, huz wîvz r brīdrz; fṛm ẃć numbr I sbtract ʈrti ʈǎznd cupl, hu r ebl t mnten ɖer ǒn ćildṛn, (olɖo I aprihnd ɖr canot b so mni undr ɖ preznt dstresz v ɖ cñdm) bt ɖs biyñ grantd, ɖr wl rmen a hundṛd n sevnti ʈǎznd brīdrz. I agn sbtract fifti ʈǎznd, fr ɖoz wimin hu mscari, or huz ćildṛn dî bî axidnt or dziz wɖn ɖ yir. Ɖr onli rmen a hundṛd n twenti ʈǎznd ćildṛn v pur peṛnts ańli born. Ɖ qsćn ɖrfr z, Hǎ ɖs numbr śl b rird n pṛvîdd fr? ẃć, az I hv olrdi sd, undr ɖ preznt sićueśn v aferz, z utrli imposbl bî ol ɖ meʈ̇dz hiɖrtu pṛpozd. Fr w cn nɖr implô ɖm in handicraft or agriculćr; ɖe nɖr bild hǎzz, (I mīn in ɖ cuntri) nr culṭvet land: ɖe cn vri sldm pic p a lîvlihd bî stìlñ tl ɖe arîv at six yirz old; xpt ẃr ɖe r v tŭwardli parts, olɖo I cnfes ɖe lrn ɖ rūdimnts mć rlịr; jrñ ẃć tîm ɖe cn hvr b proprli lct upn onli az pṛbeṣ́nrz; az I hv bn informd bî a prinsipl jntlmn in ɖ cǎnti v Cavn, hu pṛtstd t m, ɖt h nvr ń abv wn or tū instnsz undr ɖ ej v six, īvn in a part v ɖ cñdm so rnǎnd fr ɖ qcist pṛfiśnsi in ɖt art.

I am aśurd bî ǎr mrćnts, ɖt a bô or a grl, bfr twelv yirz old, z no seiḷbl cmodti, n īvn ẃn ɖe cm t ɖs ej, ɖe wl nt yīld abv ʈri pǎndz, or ʈri pǎndz n haf a crǎn at most, on ɖ xćenj; ẃć canot trn t acǎnt îɖr t ɖ peṛnts or cñdm, ɖ ćarj v ńtrimnts n ragz hvñ bn at līst for tîmz ɖt valy.

I śl nǎ ɖrfr humbli pṛpoz mî ǒn ʈōts, ẃć I hop wl nt b laybl t ɖ līst objx́n.

I hv bn aśurd bî a vri nwñ Americn v mî aqentns in Lundn, ɖt a yuñ hlʈi ćîld wel nrst, z, at a yir old, a most dliśs nuṛśñ n holsm fūd, ẃɖr styd, rostd, bect, or bôld; n I mc no dǎt ɖt it wl īqli srv in a fric̣sī, or a r’gū.

I d ɖrfr humbli ofr it t public cnsiḍreśn, ɖt v ɖ hundṛd n twenti ʈǎznd ćildṛn, olrdi cmpytd, twenti ʈǎznd me b rzrvd fr brīd, ẃr-ov onli wn forʈ part t b melz; ẃć z mor ɖn w alǎ t śīp, blac catl, or swîn, n mî rīzn z, ɖt ɖz ćildṛn r sldm ɖ frūts v marij, a srcmstans nt mć rgardd bî ǎr saṿjz, ɖrfr, wn mel wl b sfiśnt t srv for fīmelz. Ɖt ɖ rmenñ hundṛd ʈǎznd me, at a yir old, b ofrd in seil t ɖ prsnz v qoḷti n fortyn, ʈru ɖ cñdm, olwz advîzñ ɖ muɖr t let ɖm suc plentifli in ɖ last munʈ, so az t rendr ɖm plump, n fat fr a gd tebl. A ćîld wl mc tū diśz at an enttenmnt fr frendz, n ẃn ɖ faṃli dînz alon, ɖ fōr or hîndqortr wl mc a rīzṇbl diś, n sīznd wɖ a litl pepr or sōlt, wl b vri gd bôld on ɖ forʈ de, ispeṣ́li in wintr.

I hv recnd upn a mīdịm, ɖt a ćîld jst born wl wei 12 pǎndz, n in a solr yir, f tolṛbli nrst, incrisiʈ t 28 pǎndz.

I grant ɖs fūd wl b smẃt dir, n ɖrfr vri propr fr landlordz, hu, az ɖe hv olrdi dvǎrd most v ɖ peṛnts, sīm t hv ɖ bst tîtl t ɖ ćildṛn.

Inḟnt’s fleś wl b in sīzn ʈrt ɖ yir, bt mor plentifl in Marć, n a litl bfr n aftr; fr w r tld bî a grev oʈr, an eminnt Frenć fziśn, ɖt fiś biyñ a pṛlific dayt, ɖr r mor ćildṛn born in Romn Caʈ̇lic cuntriz abt nîn munʈs aftr Lent, ɖn at eni uɖr sīzn; ɖrfr, rec̣nñ a yir aftr Lent, ɖ marcits wl b mor glutd ɖn yźl, bcz ɖ numbr v Pǒpiś infnts, z at līst ʈri t wn in ɖs cñdm, n ɖrfr it wl hv wn uɖr c’latṛl advantij, bî leṣnñ ɖ numbr v Pepists amñ s.

I hv olrdi cmpytd ɖ ćarj v nrsñ a begr’z ćîld (in ẃć list I recn ol cotijrz, lebrrz, n for-fifʈs v ɖ farmrz) t b abt tū śilñz p’ anm, ragz includd; n I b’liv no jntlmn wd rpîn t gv ten śilñz fr ɖ carc̣s v a gd fat ćîld, ẃć, az I hv sd, wl mc for diśz v xḷnt ńtṛtiv mìt, ẃn h hʈ onli sm ptiklr frend, or hiz ǒn faṃli t dîn wɖ him. Ɖus ɖ sqîr wl lrn t b a gd landlord, n gro popylr amñ hiz tennts, ɖ muɖr wl hv et śilñz nīt profit, n b fit fr wrc tl ś pṛdysz anɖr ćîld.

Ɖoz hu r mor ʈrifti (az I mst cnfes ɖ tîmz rqîr) me fle ɖ carc̣s; ɖ scin v ẃć, arṭfiṣ́li drest, wl mc admṛbl gluvz fr lediz, n sumrbūts fr fîn jntlṃn.

Az t ǎr Siti v Dublin, śamblz me b apôntd fr ɖs prṗs, in ɖ most cnvińnt parts v it, n bćrz w me b aśurd wl nt b wontñ; olɖo I rɖr rec̣mnd bayñ ɖ ćildṛn alîv, n dresñ ɖm hot fṛm ɖ nîf, az w d rostñpigz.

A vri wrɖi prsn, a tru luvr v hiz cuntri, n huz vrćuz I hîli istim, wz lêtli plizd in dscorsñ on ɖs matr, t ofr a rfînmnt upn mî scīm. H sd, ɖt mni jntlṃn v ɖs cñdm, hvñ v lêt dstroid ɖer dír, h cnsivd ɖt ɖ wont v venisn mt b wel s’plaid bî ɖ bodiz v yuñ ladz n meidnz, nt xidñ fortīn yirz v ej, nr undr twelv; so gret a numbr v bʈ sxz in evri cǎnti biyñ nǎ redi t starv fr wont v wrc n srvis: n ɖz t b dspozd v bî ɖer peṛnts f alîv, or uɖ̇wz bî ɖer nirist rleśnz. Bt wɖ dy defṛns t so xḷnt a frend, n so dzrvñ a petrịt, I canot b oltgɖr in hiz sntimnts; fr az t ɖ melz, mî Americn aqentns aśurd m fṛm frīqnt xpirịns, ɖt ɖer fleś wz jenṛli tuf n līn, lîc ɖt v ǎr scūlbôz, bî cntińl x’sîz, n ɖer test dis’griybl, n t fatn ɖm wd nt ansr ɖ ćarj. Ɖen az t ɖ fīmelz, it wd, I ʈnc, wɖ humbl sbmiśn, b a los t ɖ public, bcz ɖe sn wd bcm brīdrz ɖmslvz: n bsdz, it z nt improbbl ɖt sm scrūpyḷs ppl mt b apt t snśr sć a practis, (olɖo indd vri unjustli) az a litl borḍrñ upn cruwlti, ẃć, I cnfes, hʈ olwz bn wɖ m ɖ strongist objx́n agnst eni project, hǎ wel soevr intndd.

Bt in ordr t jusṭfî mî frend, h cnfest, ɖt ɖs xpīdịnt wz pt intu hiz hed bî ɖ feṃs Salmanāzor, a netiv v ɖ îḷnd Formosa, hu cem fṛm ɖns t Lundn, abv twenti yirz ago, n in convseśn tld mî frend, ɖt in hiz cuntri, ẃn eni yuñ prsn hapnd t b pt t deʈ, ɖ x’kśnr sold ɖ carc̣s t prsnz v qoḷti, az a prîm denti; n ɖt, in hiz tîm, ɖ bodi v a plump grl v fiftīn, hu wz crūṣfaid fr an atmt t pôzn ɖ Emprr, wz sold t hiz impirịl maɉsti’z prîm̦inistr v stet, n uɖr gret manḍrinz v ɖ cort in jônts fṛm ɖ jibit, at for hundṛd crǎnz. Nɖr indd cn I dnî, ɖt f ɖ sem ys wr md v sevṛl plump yuñ grlz in ɖs tǎn, hu wɖt wn sngl grot t ɖer fortynz, canot str abrōd wɖt a ćer, n apir at a plêhǎs n asmbliz in foṛn fîṇriz ẃć ɖe nvr wl pe fr, ɖ cñdm wd nt b ɖ wrs.

Sm prsnz v a dspondñ spirit r in gret cnsrn abt ɖt vast numbr v pur ppl, hu r ejid, dzizd, or memd; n I hv bn dzîrd t implô mî ʈōts ẃt cors me b tecn, t īz ɖ neśn v so grīṿs an incumbṛns. Bt I am nt in ɖ līst pen upn ɖt matr, bcz it z vri wel noun, ɖt ɖe r evri de dayñ, n rotñ, bî cold n famin, n filʈ, n vrmin, az fast az cn b rīzṇbli xpctd. N az t ɖ yuñ lebrrz, ɖe r nǎ in olmst az hopfl a cndiśn. Ɖe canot gt wrc, n consiqntli pîn awe fṛm wont v nuriśmnt, t a dgri, ɖt f at eni tîm ɖe r axdnṭli hîrd t comn lebr, ɖe hv nt streñʈ t pform it, n ɖus ɖ cuntri n ɖmslvz r haṗli dlivrd fṛm ɖ īvlz t cm.

I hv tù loñ dgrest, n ɖrfr śl rtrn t mî subjict. I ʈnc ɖ advantjz bî ɖ pṛpozl ẃć I hv md r obvịs n mni, az wel az v ɖ hîist importns.

Fr frst, Az I hv olrdi obzrvd, it wd gretli lesn ɖ numbr v Pepists, wɖ hūm w r yirli oṿrun, biyñ ɖ prinsipl brīdrz v ɖ neśn, az wel az ǎr most denjṛs eṇmiz, n hu ste at hom on prṗs wɖ a dzîn t dlivr ɖ cñdm t ɖ Pritndr, hopñ t tec ɖer advantij bî ɖ absns v so mni gd Protistnts, hu hv ćozn rɖr t līv ɖer cuntri, ɖn ste at hom n pe tîɖz agnst ɖer conśns t an ipisc̣pl kṛt.

Secndli, Ɖ purr tennts wl hv smʈñ vałbl v ɖer ǒn, ẃć bî lw me b md laybl t a dstres, n hlp t pe ɖer landlord’z rent, ɖer corn n catl biyñ olrdi sizd, n muni a ʈñ uņoun.

Ʈrdli, Ẃr-az ɖ menṭnns v a hundṛd ʈǎznd ćildṛn, fṛm tū yirz old, n upwdz, canot b cmpytd at les ɖn ten śilñz a pìs p’ anm, ɖ neśn’z stoc wl b ɖr-bî incrist fifti ʈǎznd pǎndz p’anm, bsdz ɖ profit v a ny diś, intṛdyst t ɖ teblz v ol jntlṃn v fortyn in ɖ cñdm, hu hv eni rfînmnt in test. N ɖ muni wl srklet amñ ǎrslvz, ɖ gdz biyñ intîrli v ǎr ǒn groʈ n mańfacćr.

Forʈli, Ɖ constnt brīdrz, bsdz ɖ gen v et śilñz strlñ p’ anm bî ɖ seil v ɖer ćildṛn, wl b rid v ɖ ćarj v mntenñ ɖm aftr ɖ frst yir.

Fifʈli, Ɖs fūd wd lîcwz brñ gret custm t tavnz, ẃr ɖ vintnrz wl srtnli b so prūdnt az t pṛkr ɖ bst rsits fr dresñ it t pfx́n; n consiqntli hv ɖer hǎzz fṛqentd bî ol ɖ fîn jntlṃn, hu justli valy ɖmslvz upn ɖer nolij in gd ītñ; n a scilfl cc, hu unḍstandz hǎ t oblîj hiz gsts, wl cntrîv t mc it az xpnsiv az ɖe plīz.

Sixʈli, Ɖs wd b a gret indysmnt t marij, ẃć ol wîz neśnz hv îɖr incurijd bî rwordz, or inforst bî lwz n penltiz. It wd incris ɖ cer n tndrnis v muɖrz twdz ɖer ćildṛn, ẃn ɖe wr śr v a setlmnt fr lîf t ɖ pur bebz, pṛvîdd in sm sort bî ɖ public, t ɖer ańl profit instd v xpns. W śd sn si an onist eḿleśn amñ ɖ marid wimin, ẃć v ɖm cd brñ ɖ fatist ćîld t ɖ marcit. Men wd bcm az fond v ɖer wîvz, jrñ ɖ tîm v ɖer pregnnsi, az ɖe r nǎ v ɖer merz in fol, ɖer cǎz in cāf, or sǎz ẃn ɖe r redi t faro; nr ofr t bìt or cic ɖm (az z tù frīqnt a practis) fr fir v a miscarij.

Mni uɖr advantjz mt b ińṃretd. Fr instns, ɖ adiśn v sm ʈǎznd carc̣sz in ǎr xporteśn v baṛld bīf: ɖ propgeśn v swîn’z fleś, n impruvmnt in ɖ art v mcñ gd bêcn, so mć wontd amñ s bî ɖ gret dstrux́n v pigz, tù frīqnt at ǎr teblz; ẃć r no we cmpaṛbl in test or mgnifisns t a wel groun, fat yirlñ ćîld, ẃć rostd hol wl mc a cnsidṛbl figr at a Lord Mẹr’z fīst, or eni uɖr public enttenmnt. Bt ɖs, n mni uɖrz, I omit, biyñ stydịs v breṿti.

S’pozñ ɖt wn ʈǎznd faṃliz in ɖs siti, wd b constnt custmrz fr infnts’ fleś, bsdz uɖrz hu mt hv it at meri mītñz, ptiklrli at wedñz n criṣnñz, I cmpyt ɖt Dublin wd tec of ańli abt twenti ʈǎznd carc̣sz; n ɖ rest v ɖ cñdm (ẃr probbli ɖe wl b sold smẃt ćīpr) ɖ rmenñ eti ʈǎznd.

I cn ʈnc v no wn objx́n, ɖt wl poṣbli b rezd agnst ɖs pṛpozl, unls it śd b rjd, ɖt ɖ numbr v ppl wl b ɖr-bî mć lesnd in ɖ cñdm. Ɖs I frīli ǒn, n wz indd wn prinsipl dzîn in oḟrñ it t ɖ wrld. I dzîr ɖ rīdr wl obzrv, ɖt I calklet mî reṃdi fr ɖs wn indivijl Cñdm v Îrḷnd, n fr no uɖr ɖt evr wz, z, or, I ʈnc, evr cn b upn Rʈ. Ɖrfr let no man tōc t m v uɖr xpīdịnts: V taxñ ǎr absntīz at fîv śilñz a pǎnd: V yzñ nɖr cloɖz, nr hǎshold frnićr, xpt ẃt z v ǎr ǒn groʈ n mańfacćr: V utrli rjctñ ɖ mtirịlz n instṛmnts ɖt pṛmot foṛn lux̣́ri: V krñ ɖ xpnsivnis v prîd, vaṇti, îdlnis, n gemñ in ǎr wimin: V intṛdysñ a vein v parsiṃni, prūdns n tmpṛns: V lrnñ t luv ǎr cuntri, ẃr-in w difr īvn fṛm Laplandrz, n ɖ inhabitnts v Topinambu: V qitñ ǎr aṇmoṣtiz n fax́nz, nr actñ eni longr lîc ɖ Juz, hu wr mrḍrñ wn anɖr at ɖ vri momnt ɖer siti wz tecn: V biyñ a litl cōśs nt t sel ǎr cuntri n conśnsz fr nʈñ: V tīćñ landlordz t hv at līst wn dgri v mrsi twdz ɖer tennts. Lastli, v ptñ a spirit v oṇsti, inḍstri, n scil intu ǎr śopcīprz, hu, f a reẓluśn cd nǎ b tecn t bai onli ǎr netiv gdz, wd imīɉtli ynît t ćīt n xact upn s in ɖ prîs, ɖ meźr, n ɖ gdnis, nr cd evr yt b bròt t mc wn fer pṛpozl v jst dīlñ, ɖo ofn n rṇstli invîtd t it.

Ɖrfr I rpit, let no man tōc t m v ɖz n ɖ lîc xpīdịnts, tl h hʈ at līst sm glims v hop, ɖt ɖr wl evr b sm harti n snsir atmt t pt ɖm intu practis.

Bt, az t mslf, hvñ bn wirid ǎt fr mni yirz wɖ oḟrñ ven, îdl, viźnri ʈōts, n at leñʈ utrli dsperñ v s’xes, I forćṇtli fél upn ɖs pṛpozl, ẃć, az it z hol̦i ny, so it hʈ smʈñ solid n riyl, v no xpns n litl trubl, fl in ǎr ǒn pǎr, n ẃr-bî w cn incŕ no denjr in dis’blîjñ Ñgḷnd. Fr ɖs cnd v cmodti wl nt ber xporteśn, n fleś biyñ v tù tndr a cnsistns, t admit a loñ cntinẏns in sōlt, olɖo phps I cd nem a cuntri, ẃć wd b glad t īt p ǎr hol neśn wɖt it.

Aftr ol, I am nt so vayḷntli bnt upn mî ǒn opińn, az t rjct eni ofr, pṛpozd bî wîz men, ẃć śl b faund īqli iṇsnt, ćīp, īzi, n ifcćl. Bt bfr smʈñ v ɖt cnd śl b advanst in contṛdix́n t mî scīm, n oḟrñ a betr, I dzîr ɖ oʈr or oʈrz wl b plizd mtyrli t cnsidr tū pônts. Frst, Az ʈñz nǎ stand, hǎ ɖe wl b ebl t fînd fūd n remnt fr a hundṛd ʈǎznd yslis mǎɖz n bacs. N secndli, Ɖr biyñ a rǎnd miłn v crīćrz in hymn figr ʈrt ɖs cñdm, huz hol sbsistns pt intu a comn stoc, wd līv ɖm in dét tū miłn v pǎndz strlñ, adñ ɖoz hu r begrz bî pṛfeśn, t ɖ bulc v farmrz, cotijrz n lebrrz, wɖ ɖer wîvz n ćildṛn, hu r begrz in ifct; I dzîr ɖoz poḷtiśnz hu dslîc mî oṿćr, n me phps b so bold t atmt an ansr, ɖt ɖe wl frst asc ɖ peṛnts v ɖz mortlz, ẃɖr ɖe wd nt at ɖs de ʈnc it a gret hapinis t hv bn sold fr fūd at a yir old, in ɖ manr I priscrîb, n ɖr-bî hv avôdd sć a ppćl sīn v msfortynz, az ɖe hv sins gn ʈru, bî ɖ opreśn v landlordz, ɖ imposbiḷti v peyñ rent wɖt muni or tred, ɖ wont v comn susṭnns, wɖ nɖr hǎs nr cloɖz t cuvr ɖm fṛm ɖ incleṃnsiz v ɖ weɖr, n ɖ most inevitbl prospect v inteilñ ɖ lîc, or gretr miẓriz, upn ɖer brīd fr evr.

I pṛfes in ɖ snseṛti v mî hart, ɖt I hv nt ɖ līst prsnl inṭrest in indeṿrñ t pṛmot ɖs nesṣri wrc, hvñ no uɖr motiv ɖn ɖ public gd v mî cuntri, bî advansñ ǎr tred, pṛvîdñ fr infnts, rlivñ ɖ pur, n gvñ sm pleźr t ɖ rić. I hv no ćildṛn, bî ẃć I cn pṛpoz t gt a sngl peni; ɖ yungist biyñ nîn yirz old, n mî wîf past ćîldberñ.