Tag Archives: lockdown

Fṛm Đ Gardịn: Give me a cheerful amateur like Bill Bailey over a joyless perfectionist any day

Oti Mbūs n Bil Beili jrñ a Stricli Cm Dansñ dres-rhrsl. Foṭgraf: Gai Levi/BBC/PA

Gv m a ćirfl aṃćr lîc Bil Beili ovr a jôlis pfx̣́nist eni de

(Transcription of an article published in the Guardian on 20 November 2020)

In ɖs yir v ol yirz, w mst gv ǎrslvz a brec, īz of ɖ cmpettivnis, n jst d ǎr bst

Gaby Hinsliff

Gabi Hinslif, 20 Nvmbr 2020

Bil Beili: ‘Stricli’s bn xtrordnri! I’v īvn s’prîzd mslf’

Ɖr r fy ʈñz mor ovŗetd in lîf ɖn biyñ gd at it.

Taḷnt wl ǎt, obvịsli; n winñ z olwz nîs. Bt nbdi luvz a jôlis pfx̣́nist, hu smugli gts evrʈñ rît frst tîm. It’s ẃ Bil Beili abṣlutli dzrvz t b ɖ unixpctd brecǎt-star v ɖs yir’z Stricli Cm Dansñ īvn f (ẃispr it) h z’nt tecnicli ɖ most pṛfiśnt dansr, n ẃ ɖ Gret Britiś Bec Of jst hz’nt bn ɖ sem sins ɖ î-rolñ Loti wz cict of. Sarcastic, iratic, oceẓ́nli inspîrd n oceẓ́nli screpñ mltd îsñ of ɖ cǎntr wɖ a sai, ś wz ɖ prfict mîldli dsruptiv cntstnt fr a hoļi dsruptd yir. Ɖs siriz z’nt riyli abt ɖ becñ or īvn abt Ɖ Jrni, a mōciś bt artf̣li corịgraft bacstori ɖt hlps cntstnts tug at ɖ hartstrñz. It’s mor t d wɖ ɖ unixpctd jô v dwñ ʈñz – bî ẃć I mīn, v cors, ʈñz ɖt d’nt acć̣li matr – ćirf̣li bt nt ol ɖt wel.

Fr a hapi fy, ɖ îdīa ɖt y d’nt acć̣li hv t b eni gd at a hobi t cari on baśñ awe at it z old nyz. Ɖ’r ɖ wnz bhnd ɖ rîz v so-cōld tynlis qîrz, or sññ grūps fr ppl hu c’nt hit a not t sev ɖer livz bt ʈuṛli injô bltñ a soñ ǎt enwe; ppl hu wd b tù intiṃdetd t jôn a propr qîr n b ɖ onli wn sññ of-ci, bt hv faund a we v letñ rip wɖt biyñ md t fīl slf-conśs.

Ɖ’r olso ɖ drîvñfors bhnd parcrun, ẃć lîc Jo Wics’z onlîn FE lésn hz bn an abṣlut gift t ɖoz v s olwz pict last fr netbōl. Śr, y cn trn p in an aʈletics-vst n tec a Saṭde 5ce arnd ɖ parc unḅliṿbli sirịsli f y wont, cilñ yrslf t mīt last wīc’s prsnl bst n bragñ abt it aftwdz on Fes-bc. Bt y cn (or cd, bfr sośl distnsñ pt a stop t it) olso wōc a bit, n run a bit, n wōc a bit mor bfr gwñ t ɖ cafe fr cec; y cd brñ ɖ cidz, or ɖ dog, n stl rêz a cōṛs v s’portiv ẃūps n ćirz az y stagr ovr ɖ fiṇśñlîn last.

It z, az ɖe olwz sd at scūl bt nvr riyli mnt, ɖ tecñ part ɖt cǎnts. Ɖ hol ʈñ rmîndz m fondli v ǎr old ańl 5cm vilij funrun, ẃć wz so uncmpettiv ɖt ppl dd it wɖ pśćerz or in flip-flops, n acć̣li winñ wz cnsidrd a śêd tù trî-hard. In a rlentlisli gol-orientd wrld ẃr īvn hobiz sīm t cm wɖ pformnstargits ataćt, ɖr’z smʈñ vri rlaxñ abt biyñ pubḷcli n un’śemidli rubiś at smʈñ. It’s nt abt biyñ un’fred t fel – ɖ Americn f’loṣfi v siyñ mstecs az a nesṣri step in eni lrnñproses – so mć az riylîzñ ɖt in mor hymn indevrz ɖn w cer t admit, fełr itslf z a funḍmnṭli sili consept. Nt evrʈñ hz t b a rês, a comṗtiśn, yr ǒn prîṿt Hungrgemz.

Mî ǒn mînr locdǎn brecʈru wz riylîzñ ɖt yoga z’nt acć̣li mnt t b a cmpettiv sport. It’s nt abt hoṿrñ mizṛbli at ɖ bac v clasz fl v yumi-múmiz hu cn ef̣tlisli d ɖ splits, bt abt unrolñ a mat smẃr qayt n biyñ cntnt jst t streć ǎt ẃtvr wl cumftbli streć. Ɖ wn sevñ gres v biyñ wns agn cnfînd t baṛcs nǎ z ɖt nbdi ǎtsd cn juj yr fōlṭrñ ef̣ts t d a hedstand, or indd t cm p wɖ wîldli xîtñ yt edyceśnl activtiz t entten ɖ ćildṛn ʈru ɖ longist, dulist wintr on record. N f a tri fōlz in ɖ forist n nbdi hírz it, ɖen hu z t se ẃɖr ɖ lumbrjac z eni gd or nt?

Fr enwn hu struglz wɖ nagñ inr dīmnz, mnẃl, ɖr’z smʈñ cumf̣tñ at ɖ end v an xōstñ yir abt ɖ mesij ɖt jst dwñ yr bst (or īvn yr haf-arst secnd bst) wl d. Ɖs yir v ol yirz, I’d hv haṗli woćt sm mîndlis riaḷtiteli ɖt dd’nt acć̣li hv ɖ hart t cic enwn of bt instd jst let ol ɖ cntstnts ste t ɖ end, fōlñ evr mor mgnifisntli śort az ɖ wīcs wòr on n ɖ pestrićaḷnjz got mor pripostṛs.

Lîf dz’nt hv t b wn loñ, dspiṛtñ proses v riylîzñ ɖt y’r nvr gwñ t xel at smʈñ n śd ɖrfr probbli drop ǎt wɖ yr digṇti intact. It śd b fîn t dabl, t ambl, t b glorịsli n rlentlisli aṿrij at smʈñ; t d it wɖ no ptiklr end in sît, xpt ɖ cilñ v an afṭnun. Winñ at lîf, or strîvñ t, cn nvr bcm a substtyt fr acć̣li livñ it.

 

Instroduction to Ñspel

Powmz fṛm Uncl Arʈr: THE PRESIDENT SAYS…

Ɖ PREZIDNT SZ…

Ɖ Prezidnt sz
D’nt wuri focs
Ɖ vîṛs ʈñ’z
Jst a Deṃcrat hox

Ɖ Prezidnt sz
Nwn ń
Ɖ wornñ I wz gvn
Wd trn ǎt tru

Wɖ jst fiftīn ded
I dcler tde
W’r a big s’xes
In ɖ YSA

Ɖ Prezidnt sz
I’m ɖ xprt hu
Ń ol alñ
It’s onli flu

Ignor fec nyz
Mî rît-hand fan
Litl Mic Pns
Hz it ol in hand

A gret rzult
Jst ʈǎzndz ded
Tîmz ʈǎzndz mor
Ɖ Prezidnt sd

Ɖ Prezidnt sz
Ẃt śd smaś it
Z blīć-injx́n
Jst biyñ sarcastic

Ɖ Prezidnt sz
It’l g awe
Jst lîc a miṛcl
Wn de

Ɖ Prezidnt sz
Wev rstrix́nz gdbî
In ɖ land v ɖ fri
Ya’l fri t dî

Bt h w’nt se sori
Cz hiz onli wuri
Z ɖ infx́n infctñ
Hiz re-ilex́n



INDEX OF POETSMEDIA LINKS

Fṛm Đ Gardịn: Banksy reveals pest problem in new lockdown artwork

Banksy posted a set of five images on Wednesday night Photograph: Banksy/PA
Banxi postd a set v fîv iṃjz on Wenzde nît. Foṭgraf: Banxi/PA
Banxi rvilz pst-probḷm in ny locdǎn artwrc

(Transcription of an article published in the Guardian on 16 April 2020)

Artist postd fîv iṃjz on Insṭgram, seyñ ‘Mî wîf hets it ẃn I wrc fṛm hom’

Ʈrzde, 16 Epril 2020

Banxi hz rvild hiz lêtist artwrc crietd ẃl in locdǎn – a siriz v rats cōzñ mêhem in hiz baʈrūm.

Ɖ ilūsiv anoniṃs artist, hu yẓ́li wrcs in ɖ strīt, postd a set v fîv iṃjz on hiz Insṭgram on Wenzde nît, wɖ ɖ capśn: “Mî wîf hets it ẃn I wrc fṛm hom.”

Hiz iṃjz śo rats – ẃć hv fīćrd in mni v hiz prīvịs artwrcs – nocñ ɖ baʈrūm mirr t wn sîd, haññ on ɖ lît pl, swññ on a tǎlrñ n stepñ on a tyb v tuʈpest.

His images show rats - which have featured in many of his previous artworks - knocking the bathroom mirror to one side, hanging on the light pull, swinging on a towel ring and stepping on a tube of toothpaste Photograph: Banksy/PA
Hiz iṃjz śo rats – ẃć hv fīćrd in mni v hiz prīvịs artwrcs – nocñ ɖ baʈrūm mirr t wn sîd, haññ on ɖ lît-pl, swññ on a tǎlrñ n stepñ on a tyb v tuʈpest. Foṭgraf: Banxi/PA

Wn rodnt z sìn scipñ on a rol v tôḷtpepr, ẃć hz rold dǎn n acrs ɖ flor.

Anɖr apirz t b yṛnetñ agnst ɖ tôḷtsīt, ẃl wn z rflectd in ɖ mirr apaṛntli taliyñ p ɖ dez in locdǎn in red lipstic.Ɖ artwrc z ɖ lêtist Banxi pìs sins h crietd a pìs v strīt art in Bristl in Febrri, ẃć wz lêtr vanḍlîzd. A picćr śerd on sośl mīdia śoud “BSC wancrz” scrōld acrs ɖ artwrc, ẃć śoud a yuñ grl fîrñ a slñśot fild wɖ flǎrz.

In Dsmbr ɖ artist’s tec on a ntivtisīn wz unveild at a hotel in Beʈlihm.

Ɖ Scar v Beʈlihm fīćrz a ntivtisīn wɖ Mẹri n Jozif n ɖ bebi Jīzs, bt instd v a star haññ ovr ɖ crib ɖr z ẃt apirz t b a larj bŭlithoul pirsñ an impozñ gre wōl.

Ɖ pìs apird in ɖ Wōld-of Hotel, ẃć Banxi hlpt set p n oṿlcs ɖ bordrwōl in ɖ dvîdd siti. Opnd tū yirz ago, ɖ hotel z bíld az hvñ “ɖ wrst vy v eni hotel in ɖ wrld” n z fild wɖ orijinl Banxi artwrc.

Ɖ Pres’sośieśn cntribytd t ɖs rport

Instroduction to Ñspel