Tag Archives: Priti Patel

Fṛm Đ Gardịn: Johnson the Criminal lays down the law for asylum seekers

Prime minister proffers surreal reasons for sending people fleeing war to human rights paradise of Rwanda
Boris Jonsn ‘traid t cnvins a fy bord srvisprṣnél ɖt Cgāli wd host ɖ ny ǎtpost v Butlin’z’. Foṭgraf: Mát Dunm/PA

Jonsn ɖ Criminl lez dǎn ɖ lw fr asîḷmsīcrz

(Transcription of an article published in the Guardian on 14 April 2022)

Prîm̦inistr profrz sriyl rīznz fr sndñ ppl fliyñ wor t hymn-rîts paṛdîs v Rwanda

John Crace

Jon Crês, Ʈrzde 14 Epril 2022

Hymaṇti z’nt ɖ Hom Ofis’z strongist sūt. Bt ɖen, nɖr z cḿṇceśn. Last wīc Rićd Harñtn, ɖ refyjīzministr, wz asct bî ɖ brōdcastr LBC f ɖ guvnmnt hd eni planz t ofśor refyjīz t Rwanda. H rplaid wɖ an unambigẏs no. H hd no clu ẃr sć an îdīa mt hv cm fṛm. Nwn in ɖ Hom Ofis hd dscust enʈñ lîc ɖs wɖ him. It wz a nonstori; scer tactics fṛm paṛnôd libṛlz trayñ t dscredit Priti Ptél. Nt ɖt ɖ homsecṛtri nīdz eni hlp. Ś nvr felz t dscredit hrslf.

Cy 10 dez lêtr n Boris Jonsn wz at a hangr in Líd, Cnt, t anǎns ẃt h traid t cnvins a fy bord srvisprṣnél n a hanfl v scepticl hacs wz ɖ ny ǎtpost v Butlin’z in Cgāli. A pleźrpalis fr refyjīz mor ɖn 5,000 mîlz awe. In a cuntri ẃr ɖ probḷm wz wel ǎt v sît v Britiś îz. God fbid ɖt eni Brits mt hv t incǎntr despṛt ppl fliyñ wor n prṣkśn.

Sm hd ʈt ɖ tîmñ wz ol a bit tù cnvińnt. Aftr dez v bad hedlînz abt ɖ prîm̦inistr’z ǒn criṃnaḷti, a ćans t muv ʈñz on wɖ a poḷsi ɖt wd g dǎn a storm wɖ red-wōl Tori votrz bfr ɖ Me locl ilex́nz n pis of jst abt evrwn wɖ a moṛl conśns. It wz ɖt sinicl. Ol ɖ mor so bcz ɖ Cgāli hostl cd wel rmen emti fr yirz az sivl-rîts loyrz tec ɖ guvnmnt t cort fr actñ ilīġli. Ɖ Ptemcin Pleźrdom.

Bt ɖ riaḷti wz ɖt it wz mor lîc cilñ tū brdz wɖ wn ston. Śr, it wz gd t tōc abt smʈñ uɖr ɖn Partiget, bt ɖ Convict n Ptél hd jenyinli bn wrcñ on ɖ d’renjd plan fr munʈs, dspt ɖ bst eḟts v sivl srvnts t tōc ɖm ǎt v it, n wr fîṇli redi t pt ɖer idịsi n cruwlti on vy. N stl nwn hd ʈt t cīp Lord Harñtn in ɖ lūp.

Jonsn startd wɖ ɖ yźl wofl. Ɖ stuf h nīdz t tel himslf ć mornñ so h cn drag himslf ǎt v hiz bed n lc in ɖ mirr. Smhǎ h hz t fînd a we v cnvinsñ himslf h’z a dīsnt man. Nt sm layñ narssist hu wl d n se enʈñ t gt him ʈru ɖ de reḷtivli unsceɖd. So h mumbld smʈñ abt Britn’z fîn hisṭri v opņis n jeṇroṣti t refyjīz.

’r, hlo. W tc jst 9,000 ćildṛn in ɖ Kindertransport. N onli md a big fus abt cngrać̣letñ ǎrslvz fr ɖt bcz w hd’nt tecn eni adult Juz fliyñ Natsi prṣkśn. N ɖen w md olmst no planz t tec in eni Afgan refyjīz last yir aftr ɖ YS wɖdrwl n hd t hesṭli scūp p a fy ʈǎznd intrpritrz n uɖr ci wrcrz at ɖ last momnt. N īvn ɖen w sīmd mor inṭrestd in gtñ pets ǎt v ɖ cuntri rɖr ɖn ppl in fir fr ɖer lîvz. So, nt so gret. A qc riaḷti ćec. Ɖ YC z ɖ fifʈ or sixʈ larjist icoṇmi n tecs jst 0.2% v ɖ wrld’z refyjīz.

Ɖen ɖ Convict got dǎn t ɖ niti-griti. H wontd t stop ɖ tred in ppltraḟcñ. Bt h dd’nt wont t d it bî mcñ it īzịr fr ppl t clem asîḷm in ɖ cuntri. At preznt refyjīz r stuc in a cać-22. Ɖe cn onli clem asîḷm wns ɖe r in ɖ YC bt ɖ onli we t gt hir z ilīġli. Jonsn dd’nt wont t adres ɖt. Ẃt h pṛpozd wz ɖt eni asîḷmsīcrz – includñ Ycreńnz wɖt a vīza – hu rīćt ɖ YC wɖt hvñ bn pśt bac n drǎnd ẃl crosñ ɖ Ćanl wd b rǎndd p bî ɖ armi n gvn a wn-we ticit t Rwanda. Ẃr ɖe cd rot ẃl ɖer apḷceśnz wr prosest. N f ɖe wr cold, wet n frîtnd ɖen so mć ɖ betr. Tīć ɖm nt t cm t ɖ YC.

Ɖen ʈñz jst trnd sriyl. Frst, ɖ Convict traid t portre Rwanda az sm cnd v tropicl hymn-rîts paṛdîs. Rgardlis v ɖ fact ɖt it wz a dictetrśp ɖt ɖ YC hd cndemd fr hymn-rîts vạleśnz. Ɖen h traid t clem ɖ program wd b a bargin. Ignorñ ɖ fact ɖt sm Tori MPz hd esṭmetd it wd b ćīpr t pt ol ɖ refyjīz p at ɖ Ríts. Bt h sevd ɖ bst tl last. Ɖs wz nesṣri bcz h wz a frm b’livr in ɖ rūl v lw. Fṛm ɖ man hu hz śoun a spectaklr disrigard fr it sins h bcem prîm̦inistr. Cīp ɖoz fixt-penlti noṭsz cmñ.

Jonsn cept ɖ blśit gwñ ẃn it cem t qsćnz. H mirli rpitd ɖt h wz probbli trītñ refyjīz wɖ tù mć cîndnis. Britn wd b oṿẃlmd wɖ asîḷmsīcrz despṛt t b intrnd in Rwanda. Mbi h śd trî t mc ɖ ny reźīm mor pyṇtiv.

Az fr hiz ǒn criṃnaḷti, h mirli smrct n tugd ɖ todlr hercut. F it wz ol ɖ sem, h wd fel t ansr ɖ qsćnz smtm nxt wīc. H’z tecñ ɖ hol cuntri fr mugz. W hv a criminl in Nu 10 n h rfyzz t xplen himslf. Ɖ Tori wancocṛsi in oṿdrîv, h olso sd Riśi Sŭnac wz sef in hiz job. So ɖt mīnz h’z tost. Riśi mst b wśñ h hd ɖ slf-wrʈ t rzîn.

Abt an aur lêtr, w dis’pird ʈru ɖ lcñglas. Hir w hd Ptél, az viśs az ś z haf-witd, in Cgāli. Bac in ɖ 60z hr peṛnts hd fled Yganda. Nǎ ś wz pṛpozñ t snd teṛfaid refyjīz t a neḅrñ cuntri huz ǒn sitiznz sīc sañćri elsẃr. Priti Vecnt lct a bit glum az ś réd ǎt ol ɖ poẓtivz v ɖ program, bt ćird p ẃn ś rmembrd it wz ol lîz n ɖt ɖ refyjīz wd b bañd p in a hostl aftr ol. Ɖs wz hr lîf’s wrc n ś cd dî hapi.

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In Ñspel │ The Guardian view on the UK’s shameful treatment of Ukrainians: not an accident

Families fleeing the war in Ukraine arrive in Poland. Photograph: Omar Marques/Getty Images
Faṃliz fliyñ ɖ wor in Ycren arîv in Poḷnd. Foṭgraf: Omar Marques/Geti Iṃjz

Ɖ Gardịn vy on ɖ YC’z śemfl trītmnt v Ycreńnz: nt an axidnt

(Transcription of an editorial published in the Guardian on Wednesday 9 March 2022)

Ẃl uɖr cuntriz welcm refyjīz, Britn’z rspons hz bn ceotic n cruwl

Wnzde, 9 Marć 2022

At ɖ start v ɖ wīc, ɖ Hom Ofis bostd v unpresdntd ax́n, dclerñ breʈlisli: “Ɖ YC guvnmnt’s Ycren faṃliscīm z ɖ frst vīẓscīm in ɖ wrld t lōnć sins Prezidnt Pūtin’z inveźn v Ycren.” It wz a telñ asrśn, nt onli bcz it z ɖ sort v caẓ́li mslidñ clem w hv groun yst t fṛm ɖ homsecṛtri, Priti Ptél, n Boris Jonsn, bt olso bcz it xpresz a brōdr truʈ abt ɖ YC’z trītmnt v refyjīz.

Ɖ stetmnt wz facć̣li tru – bt onli bcz Ycreńnz d nt nīd vīzaz t entr ɖ Yṛpiyn Yńn, n ɖ YC hd t b stroñ-armd intu brōḍnñ its rstrictiv deḟniśn v “clos reḷtivz”. Mor ɖn 2 miłn ppl hv iscept ɖ wor, bt ɖ YC hz axptd onli 760 v 22,000 apḷceśnz so far. A secnd scīm, yt t bgin, wl alǎ indivijlz n orġnîześnz t sponsr Ycreńnz – agn, ćeripicñ victimz v wor rɖr ɖn rspctñ ɖ inṭnaśnl cnvnśn setñ ǎt ɖer rîts. Mz Ptél spouc v a ny hymaṇterịn rùt, onli fr Dǎnñ Strīt t swiftli rūl ɖt ǎt. Az wɖ ɖ asîḷmsistm oṿol, ɖ aproć z grujñ, inifiśnt n ovrli byṛcratic, in larj part bcz it z dzînd t cīp ppl ǎt.

Ẃt mīgr hlp z biyñ ofrd hz bn dogd bî cnfyźn n contṛdix́n. Ɖ homsecṛtri promist ś hd “srjd a Hom Ofis tīm” t hlp at Calais, bt faṃliz hu hd travld ovr a ʈǎznd mîlz faund a fy ofiślz gvñ ǎt pacits v crisps, n wr tld t g t Paris or Bruslz t aplî. Ɖen a ny “pop-up” sntr in Lille, stl 70 mîlz fṛm Calais, wz anǎnst; it nǎ apirz ɖt it wl nɖr tec wōc-in apḷceśnz nr ofr apôntmnts bt dīl wɖ bîometrics fr ɖ “most vulnṛbl” v ɖz trōṃtîzd ppl. Wn Ycreńn muɖr n dōtr md et trips t ɖ YC vīza-prosesñ sntr in Paris, tū trips t ɖ Britiś consyḷt ɖr n wn trip t ɖ Britiś emḅsi. Īvn aftr obtenñ ɖ c’rect vīzaz, ɖe wr dtend fr a secnd tîm bî YC Bordrfors ofiślz in Calais.

Plenti v refyjīz cd tsṭfî t ɖ incompitns n inhymaṇti v ɖ YC’z asîḷmsistm. Ɖ difṛns ɖs tîm z ɖt acrs Yṛp, includñ in plesz prīvịsli xtrimli hostîl t mîgṛnts n refyjīz, ɖr z gretr public simṗʈi fr ẃît Yṛpiynz fliyñ ɖer homz. Ɖ mīņis v ɖ YC guvnmnt’s aproć z nt ny; it z mor viẓbl ɖs tîm, hvr, bcz it z nt onli ǎt v step wɖ dmestic public opińn bt strîcñli at odz wɖ ɖ welcm nǎ ofrd bî uɖr neśnz. Moldova, wn v ɖ puríst cuntriz in Yṛp, wɖ a popyleśn v jst 4 miłn, hz tecn mor ɖn 80,000 Ycreńnz.

Ɖ YC’z fełr t hlp Ycreńn refyjīz z nt an axidnt, ɖo its inepttyd hz wrsnd ɖ plît v mni. It z poṣbl t hv a hymen n ifiśnt asîḷmsistm, bt nt ẃn y pṛmot sterịtîps v refyjīz az a ʈret n a brdn. Ɖ guvnmnt hz clozd of sef rùts – ẃl its naṣ́naḷti-n-bordrz bil sīcs t crimiṇlîz ɖoz hu arîv hir bî ireğlr mīnz. Ycreńnz r ɖ lêtist victimz v its cruwlti.

Instroduction to Ñspel

In Ñspel: A woman’s place appears to be anywhere but the Downing Street press briefing

John Crace
Jon Crês
A wmn’z ples apirz t b enẃr bt ɖ Dǎnñ Strīt presbrīfñ

(Transcription of an article published in the Guardian on 9 April 2020)

Asct t rîz t ɖ oceźn fr ɖ ʈrd tîm in a wīc, Randm Rāb olmst pṛdyst sm chiṛnt sntnsz

Jon Crês, Ʈrzde, 9 Epril 2020

Priti Patel: clearly not considered a key worker. Photograph: Dominic Lipinski/PA
Priti Ptel: clirli nt cnsidrd a ci wrcr. Foṭgraf: Dóṃnic Lipinsci/PA

C’roṇvîṛs z man’z wrc. At līst, ɖt apirz t b ɖ guvnmnt’s asesmnt v it, fr in ɖ ʈri wīcs v dêli Dǎnñ Strīt presbrīfñz, nt wns hz a wmn ministr bn alaud ǎt t b frunt-v-hǎs comper. Priti Ptel, Liz Trus n T’rêz Cófi hv bcm ol bt inviẓbl. Misñ in ax́n. Ɖe mt az wel nt xist.

Fr ɖ ʈrd tîm ɖs wīc it wz Doṃnic Rāb – ɖ de facto prîm ministr ẃl Boris Jonsn z in intnsiv cer – hu dd ɖ biznis fr ɖ guvnmnt. N, t b fer, h’z gtñ viẓbli betr at it. H lcs les unstebl n mor ɖ man hu cn īẓli si ǎt 24 aurz v clos p’līsinteṛgeśn ovr unsolvd misñ-prsnz cesz. Ɖo h mt hv strugld f enwn hd qsćnd him abt ɖ dis’piṛns v ɖ homsecṛtri.

It olso hlpt ɖt ɖ foṛn secṛtri dd’nt hv eni nyz, uɖr ɖn ɖ grim dêli deʈsttistics, t impart. So h cd stic t dwñ ẃt h nz bst, ẃć z spilñ ǎt a randm siriz v wrdz, onli sm v ẃć amǎnt t fŭli chiṛnt sntnsz. At sm pônt in hiz c’rir, ɖ blac-blt marśl arts speṣ́list z gwñ t hv t riylîz ɖt ɖ bren z olso a musl. Cmñ p wɖ lînz lîc “W r foc̣sñ on ɖ ʈñz w nīd t foc̣s on” me sǎnd impresiv at cabiṇtmītñz, bt dz’nt trnzlet wel t ɖoz v s hu spīc hymn.

Stl, aftr Rāb hd spent ɖ bst part v fîv minits telñ evrwn t ste at hom fr Īstr – ɖ No 10 lectn hd bn hlpf̣li updetd wɖ ɖs ny logo – it dd bcm clir ẃ Ptel mt hv dojd a bŭlit bî biyñ xcludd fṛm ɖs brīfñ. Bcz Rāb wnt on t dlivr a loñ ʈanc-yu t ol ɖ NHS staf, cerwrcrz, hospitlclīnrz, dlivridrîvrz n sūṗmarcitstaf hu wr cīpñ ppl alîv n ɖ cuntri runñ: ɖ vri ppl hu wd nvr hv bn let intu ɖ cuntri f ɖ homsecṛtri hd bn alaud t implimnt hr pônts-best iṃgreśnsistm a fy yirz rlịr. Fr Priti, îdioḷji z ol. Ś dd’nt vot t tec bac cntrol t hv an imigṛnt clīnñ a hospitlflor or oṗret a sūṗmarcit ćecǎt.

“W nǎ nǒ hu ɖ ci wrcrz riyli r,” sd Rāb. Indd w dd. N t ɖ s’prîz v mni Tori MPz, ɖe wr’nt ɖ hejfund manijrz or partidonrz ɖe hd imajind. Hir Rāb’z lejnḍri abiḷti t dsośiet cem in handi. Bcz bac in 2010, h, Ptel n sevṛl uɖr līdñ Tōriz rout a bc, Britańa Unćend, in ẃć ɖe advcetd incrist osteṛti, duḅlñ dǎn on laissez-faire īc̣nomics n brandd ɖ Brits az sm v ɖ îdlist ppl in ɖ wrld.

Bt sm ʈñz d’nt ćenj. Asct f ɖ guvnmnt mt cer t śo its grattyd t ɖ ci wrcrz wɖ a caśboṇs wns ɖ pandemic wz ovr, Rāb bcem ivesiv. Muni, ẃt muni? Wz’nt it inuf fr ɖz wrcrz t hv sevd ɖ cuntri bfr biyñ asct t līv? At tîmz lîc ɖz, Dóm cd olmst b a dubl fr Devid Brent. “Ɖ bad nyz z ɖt sm v y wl lūz yr jobz. On a mor poẓtiv not, ɖ gd nyz z ɖt I’v bn pṛmotd – so evri clǎd, ê?”

Nt ɖt Rāb sīmd ovrli cīn t emf̣sîz ɖ xtnt v hiz ny pǎrz az de facto prîm ministr. F enʈñ, h traid t dǎnple ɖm, sjstñ ɖt ol cabiṇt-dsiźnz wr nǎ mor lîc tantric medteśnseśnz.

Unforćṇtli, ɖ ansrz pṛvîdd bî ɖt proses cn b les ɖn cristl-clir. Rāb wz az ivesiv on ẃt ɖ guvnmntstraṭji fr dtrṃnñ ɖ tîmñ v ɖ end v ɖ parśl locdǎn mt b – jrṇlists hv loñ sins gvn p ascñ fr an acćl det – az h wz on ẃ ɖ guvnmnt hd hd t incris its oṿdraft wɖ ɖ Banc v Ñgḷnd. Ẃr wz Riśi ẃn y nīdd him?

Ɖ bigist unansrd qsćn, ɖo, wz ɖ wn ɖt hz bn left haññ ovr evri presconfṛns. Ẃ z Jrṃni hanḍlñ ɖ crîsis so mć betr ɖn s? Sm pṛjx́nz sjst ɖ Jrmn deʈret fṛm ɖ c’roṇvîṛs wl b abt 10% v ǎrz. Ẃt’s ɖer sīcrit? Rāb, Cris Ẃiti n Patric Vaḷns ol jst śrugd ɖer śoldrz. Ɖe hd no îdīa. Or nn fit fr public cnsumśn.

Y cd olmst sns ɖ desṗreśn in Dóm’z vôs az h plīdd wn last tîm fr cām ovr Īstr. Biyñ in ćarj z’nt nirli so mć fun az h hd imajind. H’z misñ Boris badli. Wirdli, I am tù. At līst wɖ Boris y gt sm cînd v hopfl boḷcs. Wɖ Rāb y jst gt boḷcs. In ɖ land v ɖ blînd, ɖ wn-aid man z cñ.

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