The Guardian, 22 August 2019: "Highs and lows of 2019 GCSE results – in pictures"

Coronary insufficiency,
Said the doctor, matter of fact,
All the other results being OK.
So, when Anne left and headed back,
She wasn’t clear what she should say
To her husband, initially.

It felt much like the examiner
At her driving test: nothing wrong
Except for when she took a left
Instead of right. Easily done.
She’d made sure, at the next attempt,
To get her right and left in gear.

Or A Levels, back in the day.
She passed in English Lit and Maths,
Both with Grade A, but failed in French,
Malheureusment. Then she’d re-sat,
Après des vacances d’été en France,
And passed… Ne jamais dire jamais!

Or after her first husband left,
With her expecting their first child.
Not her fault, but nevertheless
She felt a failure as a wife.
Followed in time by happiness
Beside the great love of her life.

So, when she got back home and Paul
Asked how it went, she just replaid,
After hanging up her coat and hat,
And pouring herself a lemonade,
A minor problem with the heart.
Insufficiency. That’s all.


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