Đ TÎM̦ŚĪN: ĆAPTR IV

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“In anɖr momnt w wr standñ fes t fes, I n ɖs frajîl ʈñ ǎt v fyćuṛti. H cem stret p t m n laft intu mî îz. Ɖ absns fṛm hiz bẹrñ v eni sîn v fir struc m at wns. Ɖen h trnd t ɖ tū uɖrz hu wr folowñ him n spouc t ɖm in a strenj n vri swīt n liqid tuñ.

“Ɖr wr uɖrz cmñ, n prezntli a litl grūp v phps et or ten v ɖz xqizit crīćrz wr abt m. Wn v ɖm adrest m. It cem intu mî hed, odli inuf, ɖt mî vôs wz tù harś n dīp fr ɖm. So I śc mî hed, n, pôntñ t mî irz, śc it agn. H cem a step fwd, heztetd, n ɖen tućt mî hand. Ɖen I flt uɖr soft litl tnṭclz upn mî bac n śoldrz. Ɖe wontd t mc śr I wz riyl. Ɖr wz nʈñ in ɖs at ol alarmñ. Indd, ɖr wz smʈñ in ɖz priti litl ppl ɖt inspîrd confidns—a gresfl jntlnis, a srtn ćîldlîc īz. N bsdz, ɖe lct so frel ɖt I cd fansi mslf flññ ɖ hol duzn v ɖm abt lîc nînpinz. Bt I md a sudn mośn t worn ɖm ẃn I sw ɖer litl pnc handz fīlñ at ɖ Tîm̦śīn. Haṗli ɖen, ẃn it wz nt tù lêt, I ʈt v a denjr I hd hiɖrtu fgotn, n rīćñ ovr ɖ barz v ɖ mśīn I unscrùd ɖ litl līvrz ɖt wd set it in mośn, n pt ɖz in mî pocit. Ɖen I trnd agn t si ẃt I cd d in ɖ we v cḿṇceśn.

“N ɖen, lcñ mor nirli intu ɖer fīćrz, I sw sm frɖr pkliaṛtiz in ɖer Drezdn-ćîna tîp v pritinis. Ɖer her, ẃć wz yṇformli crli, cem t a śarp end at ɖ nec n ćīc; ɖr wz nt ɖ fentist sjsćn v it on ɖ fes, n ɖer irz wr snğlrli mînyt. Ɖ mǎɖz wr smōl, wɖ brît red, rɖr ʈin lips, n ɖ litl ćinz ran t a pônt. Ɖ îz wr larj n mîld; n—ɖs me sīm īgtizm on mî part—I fansid īvn ɖt ɖr wz a srtn lac v ɖ inṭrest I mt hv xpctd in ɖm.

“Az ɖe md no ef̣t t cḿṇcet wɖ m, bt simpli std rnd m smîlñ n spīcñ in soft cuwñ nots t ć uɖr, I bgan ɖ convseśn. I pôntd t ɖ Tîm̦śīn n t mslf. Ɖen heztetñ fr a momnt hǎ t xpres tîm, I pôntd t ɖ sún. At wns a qentli priti litl figr in ćecrd prpl n ẃît foloud mî jsćr, n ɖen astoniśt m bî iṃtetñ ɖ sǎnd v ʈundr.

“Fr a momnt I wz stagrd, ɖo ɖ import v hiz jsćr wz plen inuf. Ɖ qsćn hd cm intu mî mînd abruptli: wr ɖz crīćrz fūlz? Y me hardli unḍstand hǎ it tc m. Y si I hd olwz antiṣpetd ɖt ɖ ppl v ɖ yir Et Hundṛd n Tū Ʈǎznd od wd b incredibli in frunt v s in nolij, art, evrʈñ. Ɖen wn v ɖm sudnli asct m a qsćn ɖt śoud him t b on ɖ inṭlecćl levl v wn v ǎr fîv-yir-old ćildṛn—asct m, in fact, f I hd cm fṛm ɖ sún in a ʈundrstorm! It let lūs ɖ jujmnt I hd sspndd upn ɖer cloɖz, ɖer frel lît limz, n frajîl fīćrz. A flo v dis’pôntmnt ruśt acrs mî mînd. Fr a momnt I flt ɖt I hd bilt ɖ Tîm̦śīn in ven.

“I nodd, pôntd t ɖ sún, n gev ɖm sć a vivid renḍrñ v a ʈundrclap az startld ɖm. Ɖe ol wɖdru a pes or so n baud. Ɖen cem wn lafñ twdz m, cariyñ a ćen v bytifl flǎrz oltgɖr ny t m, n pt it abt mî nec. Ɖ îdīa wz rsivd wɖ mlodịs aplōz; n prezntli ɖe wr ol runñ t n fro fr flǎrz, n lafñli flññ ɖm upn m untl I wz olmst smuɖrd wɖ blosm. Y hu hv nvr sìn ɖ lîc cn scersli imajn ẃt delic̣t n wundrfl flǎrz cǎntlis yirz v culćr hd crietd. Ɖen smwn sjstd ɖt ɖer plêʈñ śd b xibtd in ɖ nirist bildñ, n so I wz léd past ɖ sfnx v ẃît marbl, ẃć hd sīmd t woć m ol ɖ ẃl wɖ a smîl at mî astoniśmnt, twdz a vast gre eḍfis v fretd ston. Az I wnt wɖ ɖm ɖ meṃri v mî confidnt antiṣpeśnz v a pṛfǎndli grev n inṭlecćl posteṛti cem, wɖ irizistibl merimnt, t mî mînd.

“Ɖ bildñ hd a hyj entri, n wz oltgɖr v c’losl dmnśnz. I wz naćṛli most okpaid wɖ ɖ growñ crǎd v litl ppl, n wɖ ɖ big opn portlz ɖt yōnd bfr m śadǒi n mstirịs. Mî jenṛl impreśn v ɖ wrld I sw ovr ɖer hedz wz a tangld west v bytifl bśz n flǎrz, a loñ nglectd n yt wīdlis gardn. I sw a numbr v tōl spîcs v strenj ẃît flǎrz, meźrñ a ft phps acrs ɖ spred v ɖ waxn petlz. Ɖe grù scatrd, az f wîld, amñ ɖ verịgetd śrubz, bt, az I se, I dd nt xamin ɖm closli at ɖs tîm. Ɖ Tîm̦śīn wz left dzrtd on ɖ trf amñ ɖ roddendṛnz.

“Ɖ arć v ɖ dorwe wz rićli carvd, bt naćṛli I dd nt obzrv ɖ carvñ vri naroli, ɖo I fansid I sw sjsćnz v old Fnīśn dec̣reśnz az I pást ʈru, n it struc m ɖt ɖe wr vri badli brocn n weɖr-wòrn. Sevṛl mor brîtli clad ppl met m in ɖ dorwe, n so w entrd, I, drest in dinji nîntīnʈ-snćri garmnts, lcñ gṛtesc inuf, garḷndd wɖ flǎrz, n srǎndd bî an ediyñ mas v brît, soft-culrd rǒbz n śînñ ẃît limz, in a mlodịs ẃrl v laftr n lafñ spīć.

“Ɖ big dorwe opnd intu a pṛporśṇtli gret hōl huñ wɖ brǎn. Ɖ rūf wz in śado, n ɖ windoz, parṣ́li glezd wɖ culrd glas n parṣ́li unglezd, admitd a tmprd lît. Ɖ flor wz md p v hyj blocs v sm vri hard ẃît metl, nt plets nr slabz—blocs, n it wz so mć wòrn, az I jujd bî ɖ gwñ t n fro v past jeṇreśnz, az t b dīpli ćanld alñ ɖ mor fṛqentd wez. Tranzvrs t ɖ leñʈ wr ińmṛbl teblz md v slabz v poliśt ston, rezd phps a ft fṛm ɖ flor, n upn ɖz wr hīps v frūts. Sm I recgnîzd az a cnd v hîpŕtṛfid razḅri n orinj, bt fr ɖ most part ɖe wr strenj.

“Btwn ɖ teblz wz scatrd a gret numbr v cŭśnz. Upn ɖz mî cnductrz sītd ɖmslvz, sînñ fr m t d lîcwz. Wɖ a priti absns v seriṃni ɖe bgan t īt ɖ frūt wɖ ɖer handz, flññ pīl n stōcz, n so fʈ, intu ɖ rǎnd oṗnñz in ɖ sîdz v ɖ teblz. I wz nt loɖ t folo ɖer xampl, fr I flt ʈrsti n hungri. Az I dd so I srveid ɖ hōl at mî leźr.

“N phps ɖ ʈñ ɖt struc m most wz its dlaṗdetd lc. Ɖ stend-glas windoz, ẃć dspleid onli a jịmetricl patn, wr brocn in mni plesz, n ɖ crtnz ɖt huñ acrs ɖ lowr end wr ʈic wɖ dust. N it còt mî î ɖt ɖ cornr v ɖ marbl tebl nir m wz fracćrd. Nvɖls, ɖ jenṛl ifct wz xtrimli rić n picćresc. Ɖr wr, phps, a cupl v hundṛd ppl dînñ in ɖ hōl, n most v ɖm, sītd az nir t m az ɖe cd cm, wr woćñ m wɖ inṭrest, ɖer litl îz śînñ ovr ɖ frūt ɖe wr ītñ. Ol wr clad in ɖ sem soft n yt stroñ, silci mtirịl.

“Frūt, bî ɖ bî, wz ol ɖer dayt. Ɖz ppl v ɖ rmot fyćr wr strict vejterịnz, n ẃl I wz wɖ ɖm, in spît v sm carnl crevñz, I hd t b frūjivṛs olso. Indd, I faund aftwdz ɖt horsz, catl, śīp, dogz, hd foloud ɖ Icʈịsōṛs intu xtñśn. Bt ɖ frūts wr vri dlîtfl; wn, in ptiklr, ɖt sīmd t b in sīzn ol ɖ tîm I wz ɖr—a flauri ʈñ in a ʈri-sîdd husc—wz ispeśli gd, n I md it mî stepl. At frst I wz puzld bî ol ɖz strenj frūts, n bî ɖ strenj flǎrz I sw, bt lêtr I bgan t psiv ɖer import.

“Hvr, I am telñ y v mî frūtdinr in ɖ distnt fyćr nǎ. So sn az mî aṗtît wz a litl ćect, I dtrmind t mc a reẓlut atmt t lrn ɖ spīć v ɖz ny men v mîn. Clirli ɖt wz ɖ nxt ʈñ t d. Ɖ frūts sīmd a cnvińnt ʈñ t bgin upn, n holdñ wn v ɖz p I bgan a siriz v inṭroġtiv sǎndz n jsćrz. I hd sm cnsidṛbl dificlti in cnveyñ mî mīnñ. At frst mî ef̣ts met wɖ a stér v ṣprîz or inxtnḡśbl laftr, bt prezntli a fer-herd litl crīćr sīmd t grasp mî intnśn n rpitd a nem. Ɖe hd t ćatr n xplen ɖ biznis at gret leñʈ t ć uɖr, n mî frst atmts t mc ɖ xqizit litl sǎndz v ɖer lanḡj cōzd an imns amǎnt v aḿzmnt. Hvr, I flt lîc a scūlmastr amdst ćildṛn, n psistd, n prezntli I hd a scor v nǎnsbstantivz at lìst at mî cmand; n ɖen I got t dmonstṛtiv pronǎnz, n īvn ɖ vrb “t īt.” Bt it wz slo wrc, n ɖ litl ppl sn tîrd n wontd t gt awe fṛm mî inteṛgeśnz, so I dtrmind, rɖr v nseṣti, t let ɖm gv ɖer lésnz in litl dosz ẃn ɖe flt inclînd. N vri litl dosz I faund ɖe wr bfr loñ, fr I nvr met ppl mor indḷnt or mor īẓli ftīgd.

“A qir ʈñ I sn dscuvrd abt mî litl hosts, n ɖt wz ɖer lac v inṭrest. Ɖe wd cm t m wɖ īgr crîz v astoniśmnt, lîc ćildṛn, bt lîc ćildṛn ɖe wd sn stop xaṃnñ m n wondr awe aftr sm uɖr tô. Ɖ dinr n mî convseśnl bginñz endd, I notd fr ɖ frst tîm ɖt olmst ol ɖoz hu hd srǎndd m at frst wr gn. It z od, tù, hǎ spīḍli I cem t disṛgard ɖz litl ppl. I wnt ǎt ʈru ɖ portl intu ɖ súnlit wrld agn az sn az mî hungr wz saṭsfaid. I wz cntińli mītñ mor v ɖz men v ɖ fyćr, hu wd folo m a litl distns, ćatr n laf abt m, n, hvñ smîld n jestikletd in a frendli we, līv m agn t mî ǒn dvîsz.

“Ɖ cām v īvnñ wz upn ɖ wrld az I imrjd fṛm ɖ gret hōl, n ɖ sīn wz lit bî ɖ worm glo v ɖ setñ sún. At frst ʈñz wr vri cnfyzñ. Evrʈñ wz so intîrli difṛnt fṛm ɖ wrld I hd noun—īvn ɖ flǎrz. Ɖ big bildñ I hd left wz sićuetd on ɖ slǒp v a brōd rivrvali, bt ɖ Tmz hd śiftd phps a mîl fṛm its preznt pziśn. I rzolvd t mǎnt t ɖ sumit v a crest, phps a mîl n a haf awe, fṛm ẃć I cd gt a wîdr vy v ɖs ǎr planit in ɖ yir Et Hundṛd n Tū Ʈǎznd Sevn Hundṛd n Wn A.D. Fr ɖt, I śd xplen, wz ɖ det ɖ litl dîlz v mî mśīn rcordd.

“Az I wōct I wz woćñ fr evri impreśn ɖt cd posibli hlp t xplen ɖ cndiśn v ruiṇs splendr in ẃć I faund ɖ wrld—fr ruiṇs it wz. A litl we p ɖ hil, fr instns, wz a gret hīp v granit, bǎnd tgɖr bî masz v aḷmińm, a vast laḅrinʈ v prisipiṭs wōlz n crumpld hīps, amdst ẃć wr ʈic hīps v vri bytifl pgoḍlîc plants—netlz posibli—bt wundrfli tintd wɖ brǎn abt ɖ līvz, n inceṗbl v stññ. It wz evdntli ɖ deṛlict rmenz v sm vast strucćr, t ẃt end bilt I cd nt dtrmin. It wz hir ɖt I wz destind, at a lêtr det, t hv a vri strenj xpirịns—ɖ frst inṭmeśn v a stl strenjr dscuvri—bt v ɖt I wl spīc in its propr ples.

“Lcñ rnd wɖ a sudn ʈt, fṛm a teris on ẃć I restd fr a ẃl, I riylîzd ɖt ɖr wr no smōl hǎzz t b sìn. Apaṛntli ɖ sngl hǎs, n posibli īvn ɖ hǎshold, hd vaniśt. Hir n ɖr amñ ɖ grīṇri wr palislîc bildñz, bt ɖ hǎs n ɖ cotij, ẃć form sć caṛcṭristic fīćrz v ǎr ǒn Ñgliś landscep, hd dis’pird.

““Coḿnizm,” sd I t mslf.

“N on ɖ hìlz v ɖt cem anɖr ʈt. I lct at ɖ haf-duzn litl figrz ɖt wr folowñ m. Ɖen, in a flaś, I psivd ɖt ol hd ɖ sem form v costym, ɖ sem soft herlis vizij, n ɖ sem grliś ṛtundti v lim. It me sīm strenj, phps, ɖt I hd nt notist ɖs bfr. Bt evrʈñ wz so strenj. Nǎ, I sw ɖ fact plenli inuf. In costym, n in ol ɖ difṛnsz v txćr n bẹrñ ɖt nǎ marc of ɖ sxz fṛm ć uɖr, ɖz ppl v ɖ fyćr wr alîc. N ɖ ćildṛn sīmd t mî îz t b bt ɖ miṇćrz v ɖer peṛnts. I jujd, ɖen, ɖt ɖ ćildṛn v ɖt tîm wr xtrimli pricośs, fizicli at lìst, n I faund aftwdz abundnt verif̣ceśn v mî opińn.

“Siyñ ɖ īz n ṣkṛti in ẃć ɖz ppl wr livñ, I flt ɖt ɖs clos rzmbḷns v ɖ sxz wz aftr ol ẃt wn wd xpct; fr ɖ streñʈ v a man n ɖ softnis v a wmn, ɖ insttyśn v ɖ faṃli, n ɖ dif̣renśieśn v okpeśnz r mir militnt nseṣtiz v an ej v fizicl fors; ẃr popyleśn z baḷnst n abundnt, mć ćîldberñ bcmz an īvl rɖr ɖn a blesñ t ɖ Stet; ẃr vayḷns cmz bt rerli n ofsprñ r ṣkr, ɖr z les nseṣti—indd ɖr z no nseṣti—fr an ifiśnt faṃli, n ɖ speṣ́lîześn v ɖ sxz wɖ refṛns t ɖer ćildṛn’z nīdz dis’pirz. W si sm bginñz v ɖs īvn in ǎr ǒn tîm, n in ɖs fyćr ej it wz cmplit. Ɖs, I mst rmînd y, wz mî spekleśn at ɖ tîm. Lêtr, I wz t aprīśiet hǎ far it fél śort v ɖ riaḷti.

“Ẃl I wz ḿzñ upn ɖz ʈñz, mî atnśn wz atractd bî a priti litl strucćr, lîc a wel undr a kṗla. I ʈt in a tranẓtri we v ɖ odnis v wlz stl xistñ, n ɖen rzymd ɖ ʈred v mî spekleśnz. Ɖr wr no larj bildñz twdz ɖ top v ɖ hil, n az mî wōcñ pǎrz wr evidntli mrakḷs, I wz prezntli left alon fr ɖ frst tîm. Wɖ a strenj sns v frīdm n advnćr I pśt on p t ɖ crest.

“Ɖr I faund a sīt v sm yelo metl ɖt I dd nt recgnîz, c’rodd in plesz wɖ a cnd v pnciś rust n haf smuɖrd in soft mos, ɖ armrests cast n fîld intu ɖ rzmbḷns v grifinz’ hedz. I sat dǎn on it, n I sveid ɖ brōd vy v ǎr old wrld undr ɖ súnset v ɖt loñ de. It wz az swīt n fer a vy az I hv evr sìn. Ɖ sún hd olrdi gn b’lo ɖ hrîzn n ɖ wst wz flemñ gold, tućt wɖ sm hoṛzontl barz v prpl n crimzn. B’lo wz ɖ vali v ɖ Tmz, in ẃć ɖ rivr le lîc a band v brniśt stīl. I hv olrdi spocn v ɖ gret paḷsz dotd abt amñ ɖ verịgetd grīṇri, sm in ruinz n sm stl okpaid. Hir n ɖr rouz a ẃît or silvri figr in ɖ westgardn v ɖ ŕʈ, hir n ɖr cem ɖ śarp vrticl lîn v sm kṗla or oḅlisc. Ɖr wr no hejz, no sînz v pṛpraytri rîts, no evidnsz v agriculćr; ɖ hol ŕʈ hd bcm a gardn.

“So woćñ, I bgan t pt mî intrpṛteśn upn ɖ ʈñz I hd sìn, n az it śept itslf t m ɖt īvnñ, mî intrpṛteśn wz smʈñ in ɖs we. (Aftwdz I faund I hd got onli a haf-truʈ—or onli a glims v wn fasit v ɖ truʈ.)

“It sīmd t m ɖt I hd hapnd upn hymaṇti upn ɖ wen. Ɖ rudi súnset set m ʈncñ v ɖ súnset v man-cnd. Fr ɖ frst tîm I bgan t riylîz an od consiqns v ɖ sośl ef̣t in ẃć w r at preznt ingejd. N yt, cm t ʈnc, it z a lojicl consiqns inuf. Streñʈ z ɖ ǎtcum v nīd; ṣkṛti sets a prīmịm on fīblnis. Ɖ wrc v amīłretñ ɖ cndiśnz v lîf—ɖ tru siṿlîzñproses ɖt mcs lîf mor n mor ṣkr—hd gn steḍli on t a clîmax. Wn trîumf v a ynîtd hymaṇti ovr Nećr hd foloud anɖr. Ʈñz ɖt r nǎ mir drīmz hd bcm projects dlibṛtli pt in hand n carid fwd. N ɖ harvist wz ẃt I sw!

“Aftr ol, ɖ saṇteśn n ɖ agriculćr v tde r stl in ɖ rūḍmntri stej. Ɖ sayns v ǎr tîm hz atact bt a litl dpartmnt v ɖ fīld v hymn dziz, bt īvn so, it spredz its oṗreśnz vri steḍli n psistntli. Ǎr agriculćr n horticulćr dstrô a wīd jst hir n ɖr n cultvet phps a scor or so v holsm plants, līvñ ɖ gretr numbr t fît ǎt a baḷns az ɖe cn. W impruv ǎr fevrit plants n animlz—n hǎ fy ɖe r—graɉli bî ṣlectiv brīdñ; nǎ a ny n betr pīć, nǎ a sīdlis grep, nǎ a swītr n larjr flǎr, nǎ a mor cnvińnt brīd v catl. W impruv ɖm graɉli, bcz ǎr îdiylz r veg n tnttiv, n ǎr nolij z vri liṃtd; bcz Nećr, tù, z śî n slo in ǎr clumzi handz. Sm de ol ɖs wl b betr orġnîzd, n stl betr. Ɖt z ɖ drift v ɖ cuṛnt in spît v ɖ ediz. Ɖ hol wrld wl b intelijnt, edycetd, n cooṗretñ; ʈñz wl muv fastr n fastr twdz ɖ subɉgeśn v Nećr. In ɖ end, wîzli n cerf̣li w śl ri’just ɖ baḷns v animl n vejtbl lîf t sūt ǎr hymn nīdz.

“Ɖs ajustmnt, I se, mst hv bn dn, n dn wel; dn indd fr ol Tîm, in ɖ spes v Tîm acrs ẃć mî mśīn hd lept. Ɖ er wz fri fṛm nats, ɖ ŕʈ fṛm wīdz or fungî; evrẃr wr frūts n swīt n dlîtfl flǎrz; briłnt buṭflîz flù hiɖr n ɖiɖr. Ɖ îdiyl v privntv medisn wz atend. Dzizz hd bn stamt ǎt. I sw no evidns v eni cntejs dzizz jrñ ol mî ste. N I śl hv t tel y lêtr ɖt īvn ɖ prosesz v pytṛfax́n n dce hd bn pṛfǎndli afctd bî ɖz ćenjz.

“Sośl trîumfs, tù, hd bn ifctd. I sw man-cnd hǎzd in splendid śltrz, glorịsli cloɖd, n az yt I hd faund ɖm ingejd in no tôl. Ɖr wr no sînz v strugl, nɖr sośl nr ic̣nomicl strugl. Ɖ śop, ɖ advrtismnt, trafic, ol ɖt comrs ẃć consttyts ɖ bodi v ǎr wrld, wz gn. It wz naćṛl on ɖt goldn īvnñ ɖt I śd jump at ɖ îdīa v a sośl paṛdîs. Ɖ dificlti v incrisñ popyleśn hd bn met, I gést, n popyleśn hd sīst t incris.

“Bt wɖ ɖs ćenj in cndiśn cmz inevitbli adapteśnz t ɖ ćenj. Ẃt, unls bạlojicl sayns z a mas v errz, z ɖ cōz v hymn intelijns n vigr? Hardśp n frīdm: cndiśnz undr ẃć ɖ activ, stroñ, n sutl svîv n ɖ wìcr g t ɖ wōl; cndiśnz ɖt pt a prīmịm upn ɖ loyl alayns v ceṗbl men, upn slf-rstrent, peśns, n dsiźn. N ɖ insttyśn v ɖ faṃli, n ɖ imośnz ɖt arîz ɖr-in, ɖ firs jeḷsi, ɖ tndrnis fr ofsprñ, ṗrentl slf-dvośn, ol faund ɖer justif̣ceśn n s’port in ɖ iminnt denjrz v ɖ yuñ. , ẃr r ɖz iminnt denjrz? Ɖr z a sntimnt arîzñ, n it wl gro, agnst cńbịl jeḷsi, agnst firs mtrṇti, agnst paśn v ol sorts; uņessri ʈñz nǎ, n ʈñz ɖt mc s uncumftbl, savij svîvlz, discordz in a rfînd n pleznt lîf.

“I ʈt v ɖ fizicl slîtnis v ɖ ppl, ɖer lac v intelijns, n ɖoz big abundnt ruinz, n it streñʈnd mî b’lif in a prfict conqest v Nećr. Fr aftr ɖ batl cmz Qayt. Hymaṇti hd bn stroñ, eṇjetic, n intelijnt, n hd yzd ol its abundnt vîtaḷti t oltr ɖ cndiśnz undr ẃć it livd. N nǎ cem ɖ riax́n v ɖ oltrd cndiśnz.

“Undr ɖ ny cndiśnz v prfict cumf̣t n ṣkṛti, ɖt restlis eṇji, ɖt wɖ s z streñʈ, wd bcm wìcnis. Īvn in ǎr ǒn tîm srtn tndnsiz n dzîrz, wns nessri t svîvl, r a constnt sors v fełr. Fizicl curij n ɖ luv v batl, fr instns, r no gret hlp—me īvn b hindṛnsz—t a siṿlîzd man. N in a stet v fizicl baḷns n ṣkṛti, pǎr, inṭlecćl az wel az fizicl, wd b ǎt v ples. Fr cǎntlis yirz I jujd ɖr hd bn no denjr v wor or solitri vayḷns, no denjr fṛm wîld bīsts, no westñdziz t rqîr streñʈ v consttyśn, no nīd v tôl. Fr sć a lîf, ẃt w śd cōl ɖ wìc r az wel iqipt az ɖ stroñ, r indd no longr wìc. Betr iqipt indd ɖe r, fr ɖ stroñ wd b fretd bî an eṇji fr ẃć ɖr wz no ǎtlit. No dǎt ɖ xqizit byti v ɖ bildñz I sw wz ɖ ǎtcum v ɖ last srjñz v ɖ nǎ prṗslis eṇji v man-cnd bfr it setld dǎn intu prfict harṃni wɖ ɖ cndiśnz undr ẃć it livd—ɖ fluriś v ɖt trîumf ẃć bgan ɖ last gret pīs. Ɖs hz evr bn ɖ fet v eṇji in ṣkṛti; it tecs t art n t iroṭsizm, n ɖen cm langr n dce.

“Īvn ɖs artistic imṗṭs wd at last dî awe—hd olmst daid in ɖ Tîm I sw. T adorn ɖmslvz wɖ flǎrz, t dans, t sñ in ɖ súnlît: so mć wz left v ɖ artistic spirit, n no mor. Īvn ɖt wd fed in ɖ end intu a cntntd inactivti. W r cept cīn on ɖ grîndston v pen n nseṣti, n, it sīmd t m, ɖt hir wz ɖt hetfl grîndston brocn at last!

“Az I std ɖr in ɖ gaɖ̇rñ darc I ʈt ɖt in ɖs simpl xpḷneśn I hd mastrd ɖ probḷm v ɖ wrld—mastrd ɖ hol sīcrit v ɖz dliśs ppl. Posibli ɖ ćecs ɖe hd dvîzd fr ɖ incrīs v popyleśn hd ṣxidd tù wel, n ɖer numbrz hd rɖr dminiśt ɖn cept steśnri. Ɖt wd acǎnt fr ɖ abandnd ruinz. Vri simpl wz mî xpḷneśn, n plōzibl inuf—az most roñ ʈiriz r!

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